CSR 107 - Wake Up (It's 1984)

CorsicaUnknown · 3 August 2019 21:18

ROUND I, PART III

Dario: Woof, that took a long time!

Sierrabar: Zzzzzz

Dario: Oh great…

At this point, Dario takes out his gun, points it upwards and pulls the trigger.

Sierrabar: Zzzzzz…don’t waste my bullets…zzzzzzz

Dario: Oh well, there goes my attempt at entertaining the grandmas in the audience.

…

CSR is filmed in front of a live studio audie-

@Mythrin - Legore Monterosa 760 GTSi

The Legore Monterosa is a bargain once you sit in it.

POSITIVES

+Price
+Performance
+Design

NEGATIVES

-Running costs

Dario: Ooh, this one seems to drive and handle excellently!

Sierrabar: Other than being fit for you, what does it have for me?

Dario: It has a great interior and seems to be pretty comfortable, I guess.

Sierrabar: Seems good so far, not mentioning the design which is also good.

Dario: I presume this one goes through then?

The Legore Monterosa has made it to the finals.

@Rk38 - DHB DJ774G 6.0

While reading about the next car, Dario receives a phone call. Whipping out his Rotomola DynoTEC brick, he answers the call.

Sierrabar: Who’s calling you?

Dario: …grey import…Anikatia…bunch of letters…

Sierrabar: …

Dario: Hangs up - Okay, I got a call from Diaz, saying he just unloaded a DHB on the docks. It’s practically brand new and has a V8…

Sierrabar: What, you want me to take a look at it?

Dario: Yes, that’s the point I was trying to make.

Sierrabar: Ahh fine.

The DHB DJ774 has made it to the finals.

@goblin95 & @Centurion_23 - Zimmer-Wagner L846i

The Zimmer-Wagner is stylish, comfortable and quick.

POSITIVES

+Price
+Performance
+Fuel economy
+Styling

NEGATIVES

-Long name

Dario: Congrats Mablo, this one is relatively cheap, quick and has a great interior.

Sierrabar: That’s all good, I’m just more intrigued with the compliments about its reliability.

Dario: The spoiler might seem a bit like overkill… but really, that’s my only complaint here.

The Zimmer-Wagner L846i has made it to the finals.

@Mikonp7 - Mikaza P (4DEU)

The Mikaza P brings superb handling for a lower price.

POSITIVES

+Fuel economy
+Handling
+Design

NEGATIVES

-Relative performance
-Interior and luggage space

Sierrabar: Look at this thing, the Japanese have made something that doesn’t look like an appliance!

Dario: That’s offensive. Anyways, the interior equipment and quality is good but not as good as in the Zimmer-Wagner. It’s also slightly more expensive and costlier to run.

Sierrabar: What a shame, I really liked the look of this one.

Dario: It’s slower too.

Sierrabar: I got what you were saying before, no need to rub it in.

The Mikaza P has not made it to the finals.

@MasterDoggo - Banthaar Vanter

The Banthaar Vanter is another good performer.

POSITIVES

+Performance
+Safety equipment and rating
+Design

NEGATIVES

-Handling
-Running costs

Sierrabar: Look at this, it looks classy and nice!

Dario: It’s pretty quick but then again, the handling apparently falls flat. Which doesn’t come as surprise considering that it’s such a luxury car actually - though it is a surprise that the suspension isn’t all that soft for a car like this.

Sierrabar: It says here that the Vanter is “perhaps another benchmark for other cars, in the same vein as the Honghu and the Anhultz”. I want something better than just a benchmark.

The Banthaat Vanter has not made it to the finals.

@saddiseased - Kansei Aspera

Another relatively cheap car, the Kansei Aspera is surprisingly comfortable.

POSITIVES

+Fuel economy
+Reliability records
+Design

NEGATIVES

-Mediocre handling
-Mediocre interior

Sierrabar: My god if I’m not in love with the look of this one… it’s just so good.

Dario: Let me ruin this one for you, they’ve gone the cheap route with a mediocre interior and quite a small V8. That means it goes from 0 to 60 in 8 seconds.

Sierrabar: Oh what a ruiner of fun you happen to be.

Dario: It’s pretty cheap to run and has AWD, but I don’t think that’s really enough to tie you back in, is it?

Sierrabar: Hnghhh

The Kansei Aspera has not made it to the finals.

@zschmeez - Albatross Mammoth

The Albatross Mammoth is the only offroader in the test, and that shows.

POSITIVES

+Price
+Running costs
+Offroad ability

NEGATIVES

-Braking performance

Sierrabar: Hmm, perhaps I could go for something huge like this. Though since it is what it is, the interior and design aren’t really on par with these other luxury sedans.

Dario: Well it’s big so it’s not going to be fun to drive and it’s not very fast either. I don’t want it.

Sierrabar: Here’s the one time I’m going to agree with you.

The Albatross Mammoth has not made it to the finals.

@N_A997 - TME MS

Even with good sides, the TME MS definitely isn’t for everyone.

POSITIVES

+Reliability records
+Price

NEGATIVES

-Design
-Handling
-Stiff suspension

Sierrabar: My god, why are the tires so big.

Dario: The interior is good but my god the suspension has not been tuned for comfort.

Sierrabar: Why did they think this design works…

Dario: It’s decently quick and gets decent fuel economy too.

Sierrabar: Honestly though, what are those tires.

The TME MS has not made it to the finals.

@Ludvig - Turin Turamba

The Turin Turamba is certainly an odd car.

POSITIVES

+Ride quality
+Interior

NEGATIVES

-Design
-Oh god the design

Dario: This doesn’t seem bad. It’s quick, comfo-

Sierrabar: No.

Dario: What?

Sierrabar: I refuse to sit in a car which looks like it came out of Enderjeds junkyard.

Dario: Oh come on, it’s not that bad!

Sierrabar: Keep telling yourself that.

The Turin Turamba has not made it to the finals.

@Ryan93 & @Quotex - Zenith Manhattan 4400

The Zenith Manhattan is another example of the classic American luxury car.

POSITIVES

+Price
+Comfortable suspension
+Styling

NEGATIVES

-Loud engine

Sierrabar: This seems good. Comfortable, has a nice interior.

Dario: Hmm… it’s not that fast.

Sierrabar: What? Seems perfectly to me.

Dario: I mean in the sense when you compare it to what else we’re planning to drive.

Sierrabar: Okay, whatever you think. I’m more worried about this line however - “the engine is not all too quiet, a shame considering the rather uninspiring engine noise”.

Dario: Oh dear, it’s not even all that nice to drive. I’m not sure about this.

Sierrabar: Well I like it. I’m not craving for it, but I like it.

Dario: That’s a 50/50 split here, man.

The Zenith Manhattan has not made it to the finals.

@mat1476 & @MCP928 - Warren Sutherland PMC Performance

The Warren Sutherland is surprisingly cheap, considering the equipment.

POSITIVES

+Equipment
+Price
+Performance

NEGATIVES

-Stiff suspension
-High running costs

Sierrabar: And another looker here, this looks really rather fantastic.

Dario: I agree, it’s pretty rad.

Sierrabar: Other than the design… that suspension is not suited for a luxury car like this one. Running this thing won’t be incredibly cheap either, but I guess that’s not a big issue.

Dario: It’s quick, driving it wouldn’t be anything special though.

Sierrabar: That presumably sums it up then.

_ The Warren Sutherland has not made it to the finals._

@Arvok1 - Alfora Meteora

The Alfora Meteora is by far the least nice car to be in when it comes to this test.

POSITIVES

+Speed
+Braking

NEGATIVES

-Suspension
-Interior

Sierrabar: Oh my god… this interior would fit something a plebian would drive and I’m not even going to comment on how it describes the test drivers back after a long trip.

Dario: I guess if you’d have to set a numerical value to the ride of this thing, it’ll be about 6 maybe?

Sierrabar: …what?

The Alfora Meteora has not made it to the finals.

@GrandsonPyrodrone - Irmingard A750MG

The Irmingard A750MG is another cheaper car here.

POSITIVES

+Distinctive design
+Price
+Fuel economy

NEGATIVES

-Ride quality

Dario: You won’t like this chief, there’s a decent interior here for the sake of being cheaper.

Sierrabar: First of all, don’t call me chief. Second of all, yes I would have preferred a better interior for more money. The real downfall is the suspension however, it’s just not all that comfortable.

The Irmingard A750MG has not made it to the finals.

@patridam - Hirondelle Galahad SLS

The Hirondelle Galahad SLS shines with its interior, and doesn’t make itself stand out anywhere else.

POSITIVES

+Comfortable
+Interior
+Styling

NEGATIVES

-Cheap safety equipment

Sierrabar: So from what I can gather, it’s comfortable and has a great interior and after that it’s pretty average.

Dario: Yep, I think you’re right. Decently quick, decently reliable and they’ve skimped out a bit with the safety here.

The Hirondelle Galahad has not made it to the finals.

@Lordred - LHE Orbital

The LHE Orbital is another good car, with not much making it stand out.

POSITIVES

+Price
+Fuel economy
+Speed

NEGATIVES

-Plain styling
-Reliability records

Sierrabar: Oh my, this is another 50/50 car. It’s decently nice to sit in but not too reliable. It’s pretty cheap to buy but not that cheap to run.

Dario: It’s pretty quick but handling ain’t nothing to brag about.

Sierrabar: Could you not interrupt me when I’m speaking?!

The LHE Orbital has not made it to the finals.

@cake_ape - Mons Icarus

The Mons Icarus evens out in terms of quality.

POSITIVES

+Subtle styling
+Performance

NEGATIVES

-Running costs
-Braking performance

Sierrabar: Well it’s time to pop the champagne Dario because we’re at the last car baby, and it’s… not good enough.

Dario: It’s quick, I’ll give 'em that - too bad the brakes are going to be made of burnt dust once I’d inevitably go fast in it though, these brakes fade quickly.

Sierrabar: It has its flaws. Do you have anything else to say?

Dario: No, not really.

The Mons Icarus has not made it to the finals.

Sierrabar: Well, that was a whole lot of reading you just made me do. Now, what did we shortlist?

Dario: I didn’t keep tra-

Schrafen 935i by @MGR_99
Greil Wallace Super89 by @Xepy
Silver-York Sovereign by @ProfessorP3PP3R
Corvelius Bombay by @PigEqualsBakon
Legore Monterosa 760 GTSi by @Mythrin
DHB DJ774G by @Rk38
Zimmer-Wagner L846i by @goblin95 and @Centurion_23

CONGRATS, YOU’VE MOVED INTO THE FINALS!!

Don’t expect the finals to come out quickly.

mcp928 · 4 August 2019 00:42

Well that’s what I get for pushing the cargo capacity to 900Lbs. At least the car didn’t get ripped as hard as others. Congrats to the finalists.

strop · 4 August 2019 01:10

Just wanted to interject and say-

GRAB A BRUSH AND PUT A LITTLE MAKEUP
HIDE THE SCARS TO FADE AWAY THE SHAKEUP
WHY’D YOU LEAVE THE KEYS UPON THE TABLE
HERE YOU GO CREATE ANOTHER FABLE

I wanted to. I really wanted to do this the whole week

Okay back to regular programming

abg7 · 4 August 2019 01:29

Only 7 finalists? Mablo must be a very picky customer indeed! But he had a good reason to ignore a lot of cars, either because of rule breaches or, in the vast majority of cases, simply not being good enough.

Interesting fact: The 7 cars still under consideration, with just three exceptions, all used the 1975 large sedan body; none used the 1984 sedan body (in either size), probably because the former can be more easily made to look more… 80s.

patridam · 4 August 2019 03:59

A lot of binned cars either had really vague reasons (like “doesn’t stand out besides these three ways”) or a reason that wasn’t mentioned as a priority.

And styling was complimented on for several 84’ body cars, so so think it was more down to the cargo, size, and comfort advantages (with little extra weight or drag) the 75’ body has inexplicably. Even the 190 body has better numbers despite being smaller.

ProfessorP3PP3R · 4 August 2019 08:36

@abg7 The zimmer made it through and that’s using the Mercedes body iirc

Oldenways · 4 August 2019 10:56

So you like RHCP

strop · 4 August 2019 11:27

excuse me what

Triggered GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

patridam · 4 August 2019 11:58

I got 1100 lbs in that body with a soft air suspension?

mcp928 · 4 August 2019 14:53

Originally the car had air ride, but that pushed reliability too low so I switched to progressive rate. Then I tried to balance comfort to capacity. Wound up lifting the car another 1.5" (about 40MM) and adding big sway bars to keep the body roll manageable. It worked (car is great in beam) but it wasn’t perfect for the client. Oh well, next CSR then. This partnership with Warren still looks very promising.

Oldenways · 4 August 2019 16:45

Because you reference a part of Chop Suey.
Oh I see, I wrote RHCP instead of SOAD xD
Sorry, was ranting on youtube about RHCP.

CorsicaUnknown · 4 August 2019 22:47

THE FINALS of CSR107

The big day has arrived. After arranging a deal earlier in the morning, Dario drives up to the door in the Silver-York and Sierrabar sits inside. Their journey to the first test drive begins.

@PigEqualsBakon - Corvelius Bombay

First up on their travels was a trip to the Corvelius dealer, just a few block away from the warehouse. Inside, a Bombay was waiting for them and as both of them were getting in it, a salesman approached.

Salesman: Hello, can I interest you two in the Bombay?

Sierrabar: No, leave.

Dario: Well I already like sitting in front here, everything feels nice.

Sierrabar: Yes… the materials are excellent but it seems a bit small to me.

Dario: You should lose some weight then.

Dario turns the conveniently placed key and the engine purrs to life. He then drives out of the conveniently opened garage door and set out for Miami streets.

Consensus: This is the most understeer-prone car here, and while it isn’t a big problem, Dario wasn’t having the time of his life behind the wheel of it. What he did really like however was the very smooth engine - it also put the power down nicely and thanks to the use of AWD, had good grip.

Sierrabar had mixed thoughts however. The amount of room in the rear was definitely less than in the old Silver-York, but the seats and suspension were very comfortable.

The brakes were good.

Sorry for the repurposed pic but the original was messed up badly and Steam refuses to start.

@MGR_99 - Schrafen 935i

A whole block away from the Corvelius dealer was the Schrafen building. Outside, a 935i was waiting with a businessman inside it.

Dario: Okay gramps, get out.

Businessman: Wha- what is this?

Sierrabar: Don’t ask any questions and you’ll be fine.

The frightened businessman paces away. The two sit inside and after asking for the keys, take off.

Consensus: This is pretty much exactly what Dario thought it was going to be. It likes hitting its back out in corners, but taking back control isn’t hard. The performance was good and so was the 4-speed automatic. The suspension, while comfortable, has definitely been made with sportiness more in mind than the Cornelius.

In the back, Sierrabar enjoyed his stay very much thanks to the comfy seats and the good build quality. He did notice more interior noise than the Bombay however.

@Xepy - Greil Wallace Super88

Next up is the Greil Wallace Super88. Inside the Greil dealership sat a white Wallace Super88, looking superb.

Sierrabar: Oh my, this looks better than it did in the magazine. Lovely.

After Dario’s successful attempt at getting the keys for a test drive and and unsuccessful attempt at seducing the receptionist, the two head out for a test drive.

Consensus: Dario absolutely loved this thing. The handling is superb, the gearbox is the best for the simple reason that it is a manual, the performance is fantastic and with AWD, it’s just great.

In the backseat, Mablo was delighted. The engine was quiet and refined and the ride itself was great. The interior fit and finish was also slightly better than the Schrafen, though not by an amount that would actually matter.

@ProfessorP3PP3R - Silver-York Sovereign

Their next stop was somewhere familiar: the local Silver-York dealer.

Sierrabar: Huh, I guess they haven’t changed much from the last time I was here on the showfloor. Anyways, where’s that goddamn Sovereign.

Salesman: Ah hello, I see you’ve taken an interest in the all-new 1984 Sovereign, now with cl-

Dario: Just give us the keys already.

Consensus: Sitting behind the drivers seat was enjoyable. It drove nicely, not as nice as the Greil however, but it was still good. Braking performance was adequate, about what you would expect from an American luxury car like this.

Sierrabar found it to be very familiar in the back. The ride was smooth and elegant, the interior quality and amenities were of high quality. It did roll less in the corners however, something which actually became annoying when he tried pouring himself a glass of champagne. Overall, he was satisfied with the Sovereign.

@goblin95 & @Centurion_23 - Zimmer-Wagner L846i

Inside the Zimmer-Wagner dealer, a black L846i was staring at them.

Dario: Woah… this looks like it means business.

Sierrabar: For once I agree with you. It looks strangely fantastic.

Consensus: For Dario, it seemed to be a jack of most trades. The driving experience was fun, even with the less advanced automatic gearbox. And while not being Greil levels of quick, it still blew out most of the remainder of the competition. Even with these levels of speed, it managed fuel economy which so far, had only been bested by the Schrafen.

Being in the backseat was also enjoyable. Sierrabar enjoyed the big, comfortable seats and fit and finish. The quality however was not as good as the previous cars, this however was most definitely not a deal breaker.

@Mythrin - Legore Monterosa 760 GTSi

The Legore dealer looked what can be described as rad. Shapes filling up the showroom, multiple Monterosa models were lined up inside. Sierrabar went for the dark blue model and started looking around.

Sierrabar: Having a closer look at this… this looks really fantastic.

Dario. Yeah yeah, let’s just go and drive it.

Consensus: After driving this, Dario didn’t feel fulfilled in life. Sure, it handled well and was quick, but the 3-speed automatic just seemed out-of-date and the suspension was tuned too much towards sportiness, even for his liking. At red lights, the wheels did like to spin too, but this didn’t mind him all too much.

In the back, Sierrabar definitely noticed the difference between the ride of this and the new Silver-York. It simply was not as comfortable. There was plenty of room however and the overall quality of the materials used was nice.

@Rk38 - DHB DJ774G

Their last stop was at the Miami docks. A crate was just lowered onto the ground when the two arrived

Dario: Hey, is this the one we’re looking for?

Worker man: I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.

Dario: …does this crate have a DHB in it?

Worker man: I don’t know, open it up and look for yourself

Dario proceeds to open the crate.

Sierrabar: Oh my, this certainly doesn’t look like it’s modern.

Dario: Oh it isn’t, it originally came out in 1958.

Sierrabar: I see… it looks absolutely humongous and mean though, I like it!

Consensus: What an absolute beast. That thought process was going on in the mind of Dario while driving this rear-engined monster, and he strangely enjoyed it. This enjoyment did come with the realization however, that in the long run it could become annoying for a relatively young driver like him. It wasn’t overly fast either, but for something like this it was definitely good enough. When he had to quickly brake after two men carrying a pane of glass walked in front of them however, he realized how poor the brakes were. These were not enough to stop this beast in a short amount of distance.

Sierrabar was enjoying himself in the back of the DJ774G. The seats were big and comfortable, and the equipment list here was absolutely top-notch. To be more exact, it had the best equipment of all cars here.

Dario: Well, that was interesting. The question is though, are you going for this one?

Sierrabar: Be quiet and I could decide quicker…

AUGUST 1984

Sierrabar: Okay kid, listen to me. These guys are going to come here and we just have to give and receive. No dirty play.

Dario: Okay boss, I’m ready for this.

Sierrabar: …there’s hardly anything to get ready for.

A white Module UR-82 pulls up next to the two. Two men in pastel colored suits step out and just look cool.

Rocket: You have the stuff?

Dario opens the briefcase.

Rocket: Good…

Tubbie, the black guy in the pastel suit suddenly pulls out his gun

Tubbie: MIAMI FORCE, PUT YOUR HANDS UP!

Sierrabar and Dario: Oh shi-

Mablo and Dario jump in the car, shots ring out in the dead of night from the guns of Rocket and Tubbie.

Sierrabar: GO! GO!

Dario puts his foot down and races through the docks onto the streets. Sadly, the Module gives chace too late and loses the two.

Dario: OH MAN!! That was thrilling!

Sierrabar: Looks like you learned something tonight…

…

@goblin95 and @Centurion_23, your Zimmer-Wagner L846i has become the choice for Mablo Sierrabar and his assistant and chaffeur, Dario Miguel.

2nd place - @Xepy
3rd place - @Rk38
4th place - @ProfessorP3PP3R
5th place - @MGR_99
6th place - @PigEqualsBakon
7th place - @Mythrin

And finally, thank you to everyone for joining this CSR.

I apologize for this finals post if it feels rushed or in anyway underwhelming, but that’s just The Way It Is.

ProfessorP3PP3R · 4 August 2019 23:03

CONGRATS!!!
And Corsica thank you for hosting a brilliant CSR and my first one!!!
And ofc thank you for using a Silver-York in the lore.

(sorry for tagging the winners

Arvok1 · 5 August 2019 00:51

I said, the Zimmer-Wagner was a truly piece of Art

strop · 5 August 2019 02:08

Oh hahahaha I thought you were taking the piss and got it wrong on purpose so I was facetious back lost in translation I guess

Rk38 · 5 August 2019 05:24

Congrats to the winners!

This was a really fun CSR big thanks to @CorsicaUnknown for hosting plus @ProfessorP3PP3R and @Keikyun for helping.

I was pleasantly surprised to see our venerable commie limo make it to the podium despite it’s abysmal fuel economy and age.

abg7 · 5 August 2019 06:15

Quite right. Their entry was the most balanced of the bunch. And I love the Miami Vice reference right at the end. At any rate, many of the entries in this round would not be out of place at Radwood, especially the finalists. But considering how well-written it was, CSR107 will be a tough act to follow.

Mythrin · 5 August 2019 08:51

Definitely one of if not my favourite CSR I’ve taken part in! Great to see a good variety of entries as well, a trademark of a good brief.

goblin95 · 5 August 2019 09:26

Thank you Corsica for the great round and writeup, never thought that the ZW would do this well against the other finalists!

We are currently preparing for the next round, so give us an upwards of ~48 hours. Stay tuned!

Kyuu77 · 5 August 2019 10:00

So where’s the spreadsheet?