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CSR 119: The Kings of Summer, But Abridged [Submissions Closed, Semi-finals Published]


#84

Just try and stick to the rules and you won’t be in the bin before the prelims… so far for CSR, been binned every round for prelims, been binned once before… I forgot to make an ad.


#85

CSR 119: The Kings of Summer


Binning Round

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A few days later since the last meeting

Scott, Dan and Eric have assembled in Dan’s house, in his basement. Scott and Dan have gotten over what happened to them and Eric isn’t grounded anymore. Out of all 3 households, Dan’s home is the safest and offers the most privacy, so naturally it has always been the headquarter for their arranged mishaps.

After stacking up on packs of chips, chicken, bottles of soda and other snacks, they’re finally ready to go on a binge of looking at vehicles for their ensuing adventure.


Scott: S, Dan: D, Eric: E

S: Right, Dan,pass me the Pringles and Eric, you fire up the iPad and load the website we talked about earlier. I’ll get the 'Cola.

D: Please don’t finish the entire pack like last time…

E: Also why are we using the iPad when we can just get Dan’s laptop?

S: Because he dropped it like a pleb the other day and now wifi and bluetooth doesn’t work.

D: Hey man, it’s the neighbours cat, that thing almost gave me a heart attack…

E: Wussy.

S: Just go to allcarsclassifieds69420.com on your iPad, Eric…

E: Fine, Fine… You know you should get an iPhone too, that cheap ass Android isn’t gonna get you anywhere. Watch it die in like, a year hahaha.

S: Yeah yeah fuck you too now get on with it.


Please Read This

Before I progress further, let me explain a few things... Every entry I bin from this point, I have tried to judge as objectively as possible with no specific bias towards them. Of course there's my view of what's beautiful or what's better in a car but that's more about what I want. If I've binned or instabinned your entry, I'll try to add as much information as possible for you in the review and at the end of the round there will be a spreadsheet with my personal notes on the cars.
CSR judging is not easy and after a while, when you start getting entries that make no sense or don't regard for any realism, it gets stressful. Naturally, I might get a bit 'roasty' when it comes to the reviews, regarding that. Please don't feel bad or insulted if you get called out or roasted, I'm only trying to point out what's wrong with your car while keeping the reviews fun for everyone. There's a reason why Top Gear is much more loved than Fifth Gear despite being more controversial.

So without further ado, let’s get going!


D: Yeah that’s the website, put on all the filters. Van/RV/Truck… should be between 1965 and 2005, should be in good condition… that should get it going yeah.

E: I forgot to put the location preference. Something like a few hours of drive is fine I guess?

S: Only if it’s good enough, just set the the location preference to Arizona and a few hundred miles from here.

E: Aaaaaand… done! Hmm 41 vehicles… should be good enough.

S: Let’s start with this Teal thing I guess.


Conquerer V8 Injection by @conan

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E: So it’s a 1996 Conqueror V8 Injection…

S: What’s the year again?

E: '96… doesn’t look very '96 though right?

D: That looks straight out of the 60s or 70s at the most… Maybe it’s a typo?

E: Well it’s a long typo in that case, Scott how about you google the reviews on this thing?

S: Already did it, it’s bulletproof and doesn’t chug a whole lot of fuel, costs are rather low as well but… Yo it’s barely any wide to put a proper king size bed in it.

D: Doesn’t look like there’s a lot of room either, that cab alone takes a lot of space. We won’t be able to put much stuff in it after the necessary paneling and insulation.

S: Check this out, its got Alu-panels, safety ratings are 3/5… and wait did you check the seller’s note? The skidplate fell off during an accident hahaaa

D: Yeah I’m not sure about this one… oh wait it also says that the rear suspensions are in bad condition after a failed DIY tuning attempt and now they can carry only about 350 kilograms, are you serious?

E: We need about 500 kilos at least… Yeah I’m closing this one. So much for conquering…

:wastebasket:


image

I mean if you’re gonna meme this hard, might as well get memed back :stuck_out_tongue:

Very cool landrover haha

https://youtu.be/i0phslJdp6M?t=61


Katsuro Ace Pro Premium Edition by @FitRS

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S: Hey have a look at that Japanese van… yeah that one, the Katsuro.

E: Yeah this looks good… except… what the fuck is that sunroof doing?

D: Yeah why is it vertical like this? And why on earth are the exhausts angled like this?

S: Hmm, looks like someone did a few cheap aftermarket mods to it. Looks good other than those things. Oh wait the safety rating is pretty bad, and the VVT solenoids are prone to dying very easily due to bad quality control… yeah the fuel econ should be shit.

E: It is, and it does say that the solenoids are kaput.

S: Other users have complained that it’s very understeery at highway speeds and… woah the engine has a DOHC 4 valves setup… from 1990?

E: Yeah that’s not concerning at all isn’t it haha. I can’t imagine what’d happen if this thing breaks down.

D: Well tough luck boys, it actually looked decent from the outside at least.

:wastebasket:

Please don’t


Express Maxi V8 by @BootlegScarce

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D: Hey check out that one, the white hi-roof thing…

E: Oh it’s a Maxi V8! I’ve heard good things about these ones.

S: Me too, check what the owner has to say…

E: Says that it’s stock mostly… suspensions are fine, runs good, drinks fuel but other costs are lower, good rustproofing… yeah this seems legit.

D: Wait what does it say at the end? Oh he did an engine swap with a… V8???

E: Uhhh… no less than that, it’s a 2.5L wait what?

S: Did he… buy one of those Formula 1 rare engines for sale things and put it in a transverse setup?

D: I guess? Yeah I don’t think this would fare very well. Another potential van down the drain…

:wastebasket:


WALL D-78 by @WALL

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Okay need to break character here, this entry managed to score -$140 in the calculator. How? Well his prestige was absolutely 0, reliability was worse than anything else and service costs were something like 285 bucks. It was from '78 too so yeah naturally it broke the calculator.

I understand the fact that you decided to meme it, but I tried finicking with it and I figured that if you didn’t go with all those -15 sliders, this would’ve been a semi-decent entry :stuck_out_tongue: But hey you made me laugh.

Unfortunately, that alone doesn’t let you qualify, my friend…

:wastebasket:


Franklin Marshall Passenger by @Jaimz

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E: Hey let’s check out this blue one, looks nice.

S: Oh a Franklin Marshall, should be good. My uncle used to have one of these.

D: I dunno man, after seeing the last couple of entries… let’s check what the owner has to say first…

E: 2.5L Engine, work van, good interior, servicing history available… yeah seems good

S: Would you stop being lazy? There’s more below

E: Fine fine, uhhh… oh wait what the fuck? He claims the factory open diffs were replaced with a helical geared LSD?

D: Is this even real? Please tell me it’s a joke…

E: It also says he replaced the stock intercooler with an 1100 HP one… uh guys?

S: … Man are you fucking kidding me this was looking so good, this thing even has multilink suspensions from the factory… such a nice thing wasted. What was he even thinking?

D: I don’t think he was having any thoughts at all…

:wastebasket:


Steinhauer Pioniere AWD by @Nyxana

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D: Oh hey hey a Pioniere…

E: Oh yeah this should be nice. Looks neat and everything…

S: Yeah I like the looks of this thing and woah woah wait, they DIY swapped the cassette player with a much expensive one? Huh, must care about entertainment a lot then.

D: Yeah this should be in tip top condition… oh…

E: Did’cha see it yet?

D: … Why the fuck would anyone swap the diffs of a family commuter van with a manual locker? Is it even the offroad package?

E: Hah naaah it’s AWD but it doesn’t look like an offroad car from any other angle. And apparently it’s too heavy due to the rather complicated power steering and safety features.

D: Why would anyone put electric power steering in a standard class commuter van? It’s shit for highway driving!

S: Man I don’t think it’s a good deal, they’re claiming it has a CD player but I can clearly see a cassette player… yeah how about no.

:wastebasket:


Seikatsu StarCarrier Grand Exceed Multidrive by @Tzuyu_main

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E: Ayyy a beautiful van from Japan, I like these a lot!

S: Yeah me too, they look so great. And are very reliable too.

E: It’s the 4x4 one too, this one has to be good aaaaand… oh goddammit.

D: What? What’s wrong?

E: Well aside from the fact that it’s an 80s 4x4 van, it chugs a lot of fuel, costs a bit to service, no service history, the undertray was removed for whatever reason, has power steering…

D: Hah 80s power steering in a Japanese lightweight van, why?

E: It’s… not light due to various mods that have been done to it. Also the dampers and sway bars are tuned to be very tight… Say what?

D: Man literally every car we’ve seen so far has been ruined by the owner, one way or another… This sucks, I’m getting pissed let’s just take a break and have a drink

:wastebasket:


After an hour of snacks, some fucking around and playing Smash Bros on the Wii, they’re back to looking at more vans. This time, Scott has the iPad for faster reviews.


MAHG Zeta Van 3.1 by @S31

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S: I’ll skim through it before going oh wow this is beautiful or something… Yikes FWD but has a manual locking diff? Is he serious? There are barely any cars that have diffs with a FWD setup and they’re all usually limited slip diffs.

D: That’s fucked haha, and what’s that… variable hydraulic PS setup for a mid 80s van? Heh probably not stock, that means jerry rigged setup which is quite bad already.

S: He’s tuned the engine to rev to 4000 but no more, but… he hasn’t mentioned anything else about changing the cam timing or compression… huh?

E: Yeah no this one isn’t doing. Shame because it looked like a good hi-roof with a lot of room inside.

:wastebasket:


Kilment Hoodoo Eco by @Kursk

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S: Ugh this one’s fucked too, guys. The owner swapped the stock headers with expensive long headers. And it gets only about 14 mpg? Is this a bus or something? Also why does it have captain’s seats like premium vans?

E: I mean just because it’s a 4x4 doesn’t mean it has to chug a lot of fuel… oh wait there’s the cause haha.

S: Another one of those small questionable V8s, god help me please.

:wastebasket:


KGB-H Oxen Sturdy @Kyuu77

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S: Uhhh, what the fuck am I looking at now?

D: It’s a Russian van. I really don’t know how much it makes sense for anyone here to own one of these.

S: It’s Russian, supposed to be cheap… but apparently also has a geared diff, 5 spd manual, vented disc brakes, leather interior and according to this website… the safety rating is 4.5/5?

E: I got the perfect song for this van, let me get my phone out…

:wastebasket: Glory to the Motherland, I guess :stuck_out_tongue:?


Alba Spanne FLS by @TheLapTopX20

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S: Eric you fucking numbhead I told you to filter it by vans!

E: Bro I swear I did it look!

D: Uhhh… it’s a van yeah, it’s just based on a hatchback heh.

S: Oh… yeah it’s one of those ones. I imagine owning something like this would be fun but… we’re looking for a van that can house all 3 of us, not just one…

D: Hey look its got offroading bits for light offroading and apparently this version came out with SOHC 4 valves and SPEFI right from the factory… in 1982? Yeah nice try covering up a shady engine swap.

S: Why are you looking at this it’s out of our range anyway

A song, if you may

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bfyS-S-IJs


**Saman FX1L by @Stryder237

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S: Almost thought this was an SUV. Don’t see much of these around, you guys know this?

E: Yeah my stepdad had one waaay long ago. It’s not reliable man. Used to break down a lot, they said it was a family MPV and it was cheap and packed a lot of features. But boy that cheap price meant shit quality control hehehe.

S: This one even has Alloy wheels that are definitely not factory… but also budget tires? Lord…

D: Torque converter and variable power steering in 1989 with what looks like an engine not related to this model at all? The engine model he’s mentioned came out in 1985 hah what the fuck?

S: This one’s going as well I guess.

:wastebasket:


GMD Kigan SE by @george_m997

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Time to break character again,

I 100% understand that you’re rather new, along with quite a few other entries, but I gotta do what I gotta do.

Direct Injection, Wonky VVL, high ignition timing, forged internals, is AWD/MT with Manual Lockers, 4 piston vented discs, premium interior and 8 seats. electric steering, Active Comfort suspension elements… Is this trying to be a really advanced and fast van or is it trying to be a rugged offroader? It’s conflicting a lot. I’m saying this as politely as I can, look at real vehicles and their configs. Sorry my man :frowning:

:wastebasket:


S: Right fuck this I’m about to have an aneurysm. This is too much

E: 3 hours wasted dammit

D: Hey at least we had fun? Let’s just hang out for a while, play some games. We’ll start again from tomorrow. Hopefully the remaining ones would be better.


And that concludes the instabin part of this CSR

Stay tuned for more updates on the judging! :smile:

And erm… sorry if you feel bad or insulted from these reviews.



#86

Achievement unlocked: avoid the instabin

Every further step of progress I make from here is a bonus. And also raises the bar higher for my future CSR escapades so a part of me is scared I’m going to win first time even though that’s super unlikely :joy:

I love how the binning kept character almost the entire way!


#87

As always, the long list of instabins shows that poor engineering choices (for a car’s trim year) can be the undoing for even a well-designed car.

My entry wasn’t instabinned, which means the engineering behind it is sensible and sound. It’s one of the more expensive vehicles submitted, but I still remain hopeful that the boys would go for the “pay more now and save lots of cash later” approach I took.


#88

I think it’s easy to think of the instabin list as the “small brain” list, but apparently lots of the mistakes made fall into the “galaxy brain” department. :stuck_out_tongue:

Seeing the extent to which this plays out is a big part of why I’m excited to see this play out. I have no idea how competitive my entry is because there are a lot of priority-juggling aspects involved, including and especially that one. The wide moving target on price opened this round up so much!


#89

@GetWrekt01 I’m loving the savagery, I find it funny, even when it’s my own entry. I give you full permission to be savage over my big orange brick… I’m pretty sure I called that colour Garcian Racing Orange, so maybe it was re-sprayed by the previous owner or something


#90

To be clear, KGB-H is japanese, so it’s like a J60 Land Cruiser in an Isuzu bus body with 80’s bubble economy money thrown at it.


#91

Instabin for the first try!

I should have known better for the power steering because they went first on early 90’s sports cars and the engine I took inspiration of was a late 90’s 2.8JTD straight four not mid 80’s technologies…

The front locking diff was for better off-road but I totally forgot what two front same speed tyres do to a FWD car -> UNDERSTEER for years!!

Clearly my bad!

The 4K rev limit was due to my internals so I couldn’t get more than that…

No offense to anyone, those critics were totally justified and I’m quite happy to hear them!!

Next time lucky! (maybe…):rofl:


#92

Oop fair enough, will keep that in mind.

Man trust me you still did a lot better than my first ever CSR entry, I believe


#93

oh no

i have fallen victim to the alba syndrome a.k.a Not being able to make big cars at all

Ah well, i should’ve dug deeper in the Webs for better info, SPEFI does seem quite overkill for 1982.

Good luck to the people still in!


#94

A little tip for engine design, if your componants are failing before peak power, either use better componants, such as lightweight forged rods or increasing the quality slider slightly. And also try reducing your stroke.

All I can reccomend is trial and error, you’ll soon find your way and learn for next time. If it helps I haven’t won a CSR yet, and I first entered back in CSR 40. I have come close and sometimes make cars that get good mentions, but other cars are better suited than my own, like the last round for example. But never be afraid to ask for advice, and read your review, it helps you improve and become a better player of Automation :wink:


#95
[quote="LinkLuke, post:94, topic:33426, full:true"]

A little tip for engine design, if your componants are failing before peak power, either use better componants, such as lightweight forged rods or increasing the quality slider slightly. And also try reducing your stroke.

[/quote]

Thanks for the advice :wink:

I thought about upgrading the engine but I thought forged internals for the mid 80’s mmmmhhh…

And I wanted torque, less maintenance costs at the price of less revs. 4K wasn’t that bad in my mind for a van but it was so I learned my lesson there!

I’ll keep trying next time!

Nice to hear but I should have known better since I have a degree in car mechanic and I love car history!!:laughing:


#96

How do you dissect that solenoid valves would be prone to overheating? Was that for lore or was there something I missed during the engineering phase of the engine?


#97

Well part of it would be from the fact that if your engine has DOHC 4V from that time around, it might as well have a VVT mechanism. And besides afaik premium/eco Japanese cars around that time utilized VVT for max fuel efficiency. Not having factory VVT felt kinda weird so I decided to write it out that way.

Also just in general, how the engine was set up, those solenoid valves would be dying anyway unless it was retuned.

Hope this clears it!


#98

I’m not surprised to be honest. I made my van the day before this CSR launched (by pure chance) so decided I might as well use it.

I thought the reliability would let it down. To be honest, I don’t even know how you increase the reliability. I know using simpler components help, but all my cars are around 55 reliability no matter what I do.

Totally right about the power steering, didn’t realise it wasn’t common for the era until now, and the engine is from another of the brand’s so make sense for my company lore, not that you’d know that!


#99

Ok I see. Was that because the ignition timing was very high? Sorry if I’m probing too much but this is a learning phase for me.


#100

High ignition timing is slightly Min/Max. I’m not sure how high you set yours, but if it was above 70, then that’s probably the reason, especially if you have EFI.


#101

Ahhh… understood. :man_facepalming:t4::man_facepalming:t4: someone pass me the ketchup. Can’t eat a dry shirt.


#102

Trim body quality improves it dramatically.


#103

ketchup

Pics or it didn’t happen