NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! But actually, it’s the worst Kansai in the history of Kansai’s… So, yeah… Sales are not good for the car…
If anyone has any tips on how to style the front of the boxy MR car, I’m all ears. Time was a factor but frankly I was struggling pretty hard anyway!
that’s why my ad focused on the rear because I can do a good boot…y
Maybe the best thing is to do pop-up headlights or boxy headlights…
Yeah, kinda have to keep it simple in the front with that body. I think the thecarlover made a good red one a bit ago…or was it Mr.Computah, I can’t remember.
It always ends up looking a bit too much like an NSX in my opinion! Like the Porsche 911 or Honda CRX, it’s really hard to get away from it either looking like a copy or an abominable mutation!
It would probably help if there were more morphing options on these. There are a couple of the squarer designs (the '70s coupe that looks a bit like an '80s Ford Mustang or Maserati comes to mind) that allow for a lot of morphing, but it’s all clean and doesn’t ruin the adjacent lines of the car.
I was kinda hoping to cater to Matt via sheer performance in order to sneak into the test drive phase, and then lose to the competition, but as was probably to be expected, Matt doesn’t actually seem to have much say here - nice red herring there, @Cheeseman
Not even a red herring, I mean, the round quite clearly says Melanie is the buyer so this isn’t even like those rounds where the guy is the buyer but the girlfriend has a hidden veto power
ah, past prelims. nice!
Oh come now, strop. You should know by now the girlfriend ALWAYS has hidden veto power. No matter the situation.
I was only assuming Matt has at least some leeway to make suggestions (beyond the brochure picking).
Also: Why hidden veto power?
well that’s actually what I meant, as in, as opposed to where there’s no girlfriend/wife in the picture
In this case though it remains to be seen whether Matt is the one who has the real hidden veto power. If Melanie can’t decide between certain cars after all, will he be the deciding factor… but as you can see you’ll never get that far if you don’t first cater to the actual client, right?
The Z3 misled me I couldn’t imagine Melanie in anything else than a retro design (though if my retro design had been better she might have been less offended, of course)
Day 2: Test drives
The following day Melanie and Matt set about contacting all the various dealerships in order to book in the necessary test drives. After many hours of battling through different manufacturers phone systems and arguing with a number of typical sales representatives, everything had been booked in for that afternoon to test all of the vehicles.
Melanie: “Right, we need to get in the Audi and go and drive these cars”
Matt: “After all the ‘assle I feel like I can’t be arsed”
Melanie: “Do you wanna drive these cars or what?”
Matt: “Wait, I’m gonna drive ‘em?”
Melanie: “Well of course not, I am, but you’ll get to see ‘em”
Melanie: “Don’t act like this now you twat, it’s fuckin’ car shoppin’ and I know you luv it”
Matt: “For a moment I fought I was drivin’ ‘em”
Melanie: “Would you shut it and drive me to the dealers?”
Matt: “Alright, jeez!”
From there on in, Melanie and Matt went to the various dealerships to see the cars in person and go for a test drive. The results are in!
DiMarino Imperia 325 - @abg7
Matt: “Well ‘ere we are at the first car”
Melanie: “The more I see the rear the more I ‘ate it”
Matt: “You ‘ate it?”
Matt: “So why are we even ‘ere?”
Melanie: “I need to drive it OK”
After spending a good while driving the Imperia 325 around the surrounding area, Melanie has come to the final conclusion.
Melanie: “I ‘onestly really like the way it drives, it feels rapid, it feels fun, it doesn’t feel uncomfortable so I ain’t able to fault that”
Matt: “I sense a but”
Melanie: “You were right”
Matt: “Am I fuckin’ ‘earin’ this right? I’m… right?”
Melanie: “I know, doesn’t ‘appen all that often does it.”
Matt: “Ok wow.”
Melanie: “As much as the car is right to drive in, the rear just puts me off the car, like, completely. I wanna luv it, but I just can’t love it. I wanna park up the car, get out and just admire it, but I ain’t doin’ that”
Matt: “Are we droppin’ it then”
Melanie: “I ‘ate to say it, but yeah”
So close yet no cigar, the Imperia was dropped from Melanie’s list. They then headed off to see the next car.
PMI Dotai Vertigo N1 Cosmopolitan - @Private_Miros
Melanie: “Oh I remember this one now”
Matt: “I quite like this one, y’know”
Melanie: “Yeah… don’t care. Anyways, first impression is all OK, bit like the last one in many ways”
Matt: “The costs will be ‘igher”
Melanie: “Yeah but it ain’t too bad, I can live with that”
Matt: “To the road then”
After a good run around in the “car with a very long name”, according to Melanie, she returns with her final opinion on this car.
Melanie: “I’m a bit disappointed really”
Matt: “I’m the same”
Melanie: “After drivin’ that last one it really ain’t as good”
Matt: “And the ride is really not great”
Melanie: “Yeah, for any longer trips this is gonna be too much, I still like it though, but it ‘as to go sadly”
Unfortunately, Melanie decides that this simply isn’t for her as it just doesn’t have the wow factor she is looking for. She then moves on to the next dealership.
Cordia Spada 40 - @conan
Melanie: “I’m still in love with the way this car looks after seein’ it in person, y’know”
Matt: “Oh Mel you’re gonna luv the inside of this”
Melanie: “Lemme see… Oh yeah this is proper posh like and feels really like nice. Ugh, I can get so comfy in this fing.”
Matt: “We gonna ‘ead out on the road or what then?”
Melanie: “Just gimme a moment while I chill”
Matt: “C’mon let’s go”
Melanie: “Fuck! Fine, ok, let’s go.”
After going on quite the lengthy cruise in the Spada 40, Melanie returns to the dealership with her verdict.
Melanie: “The engine is nice and I could go a million miles in this fing cos it is so damn comfy”
Matt: “Yeah but it certainly ain’t fast”
Melanie: “It’s ok, but yeah it could do with being quicker, but it’s just too borin’”
Melanie: “You can see it can go quick ‘round corners but the car feels so wrong doin’ it. It’s got some more wow factor, but it’s like the opposite of the last car”
Matt: “So what are we doin’ then?”
Melanie: “If it was more fun I’d want it, but it’s a no”
Once more, Melanie decided that this car wasn’t quite right for her and decides that she’d best move onto the next car, hoping she will like this one.
Ninomiya XFR SSR-T (6MT) - @Urbanliner
Melanie: “That blue still looks proper stunnin’”
Matt: “You’d get it in that colour then?”
Melanie: “Uh, no doubt ‘bout it luv. Let’s ‘ave a look ‘round it then!”
Matt: “You do realise this ain’t gonna be that cheap to live with, right?”
Melanie: “It’s fine, I can live with that I’m sure and inside looks proper nice again”
Matt: “Let’s hit the road then, quick!”
After racing around the local area in the XFR SSR-T, Melanie comes speeding back to the dealership with her verdict.
Matt: “Yeah, I’m impressed as well y’know”
Melanie: “I’m strugglin’ to fault it y’know. It’s near damn perfect”
Matt: “So it drives alright for ya then?”
Melanie: “Ugh, I love it inside, outside and drivin’, but…”
Melanie: “It looks nice in ‘ere but it lacks some stuff the other stuff ‘ad and I wish it ‘ad more stuff.”
Matt: “But is that sumfink you could deal with?”
Melanie: “As it is, I feel like it’s an option. Yay, a good one. Thanks Mr. Salesperson, we’ll be in touch if we decide to go with it!”
Beaming, Melanie adds the XFR SSR-T to the list of potential cars to buy, leaving the dealership to head to the next one in a very happy mood indeed.
Erin Tauga Coupe Lex 3.0l - @DeusExMackia
Matt: “There’s just sumfink ‘bout this car I really like”
Melanie: “I’m the same y’know, it’s just so charmin’ like and modern”
Matt: “Now, this won’t bovvah me but it will to you”
Matt: “It just ain’t that posh”
Melanie: “Yeah, I know, I kinda wish it was. Still wanna drive it though, looks like fun”
After spending some considerable time with the Tauga darting around the neighbourhood, Melanie returns to the dealership.
Melanie: “Although it ain’t as special as the last one, this is pretty darn amazin’”
Matt: “I wanna ‘ave a go”
Melanie: “You can, if we buy it”
Matt: “Wait, you’re gonna consider this?”
Melanie: “Look, it ain’t as nice as the last one in certain ways, but it’s gonna be cheaper to buy and live with this one”
Matt: “You’re considerin’ sumfink cheaper?”
Melanie: “I just like it, it’s got some charm to it”
Matt: “What ‘bout inside?”
Melanie: “Not great, but ‘ere’s the fing. It’s good for drivin’, good for the gals, good for weekends, good for London. Thanks Mr. Salesguy, we may be in touch soon about maybe buyin’ it!”
Once again, Melanie leaves another dealership with a smile on her face as she has found another possible option. She now heads off to see the next car.
Enactor Estate Roamer (MkI) Sport - @Leonardo9613
Melanie: “I’m so fuckin’ excited ‘bout this car”
Matt: “Fought so”
Melanie: “I’ve always kinda dreamed ‘bout ‘avin one of these”
Matt: “Well it certainly is, well, the Estate Roamer”
Melanie: “OMG, I love it, I fuckin’ love it. Hehehehe!”
Matt: “Fuckin’ calm down, jeez”
Melanie: “Shut up, get in and let’s go!”
After driving around the area feeling like she’s above everyone else in the Estate Roamer, Melanie returns with a rather strange conclusion.
Melanie: “We’ve made a mistake”
Matt: “Wait… what?”
Melanie: “Sell the Audi”
Matt: “You’re ‘avin a laugh!?”
Melanie: “We’re sellin’ the fuckin’ Audi and we’re buyin’ this”
Matt: “You what mate? You fuckin’ serious?”
Melanie: “Er, yeah. This is a shit replacement for the Z3, but this is like ten bazillionjillion times bettah than the Audi. Well, maybe not the Sport, a nicer one”
Matt: “Um… wow”
Melanie: “Let’s fuckin’ do it. They ‘ave one in stock we could ‘ave, like, y’know, now!”
Matt: “I can’t believe this…”
Strangely, the Estate Roamer didn’t replace the Z3 but has unintentionally replaced their A4 Avant. This hasn’t won, but it’s won Melanie’s heart for a different reason. After making the purchase and trading in the A4, Melanie drives her new Estate Roamer to the next dealership.
Keika Twist 2.2+ - @BoostandEthanol
Melanie: “I still can’t get over the Estate Roamer”
Matt: “Would you shut it ‘bout that damn car and look at the Twist for one second”
Melanie: “Ooh, the purple one, yay!”
Matt: “A. Car. Isn’t. A. Colour”
Melanie: “If I’m ‘avin one, it’s in this colour. Alright!”
Matt: “Yeah ok, what ‘bout the rest”
Melanie: “You know that blue one from before? I feel almost the same ‘bout it”
Matt: “Wow OK, that’s a good sign.”
Melanie: “Right, time to drive!”
After driving the poor salesman to nearly vomiting, Melanie returned in the Twist to the dealership to give her thoughts.
Melanie: “This is soooooo great”
Matt: “I really like it”
Melanie: “I really love it”
Matt: “You got any problems with it?”
Melanie: “Uh… um… gonna be a bit more costly but that’s it”
Matt: “You really want it don’t ya?”
Melanie: “Kinda, yeah. Thanks again, sorry about makin’ you feel unwell, but we’ll be in contact about perhaps buyin’ it soon Mr. Sellerperson”
Thinking the day couldn’t get any better, Melanie leaves the dealership incredibly happy and heading off to the next dealership for the next offering.
EcaMobile Jackpot V12 - @Mikonp7
Melanie: “Still ain’t lovin’ the name, still do love the V12”
Matt: “I’m surprised you even kept this darlin’”
Melanie: “Yeah but the idea of a V12 is just… uh”
Matt: “Yeah and the cost of it all”
Melanie: “Well it’s real proper nice inside and real comfy, reminds me of the sexy black one earlier”
Matt: “Yeah I can see that”
Melanie: “Right, time to drive it”
Cruising around the area lasted a considerable length of time, with Melanie finally returning to give her opinion on the Jackpot.
Melanie: “Well, this ain’t hit the Jackpot”
Matt: “A fuckin’ pun, shut it jeez”
Melanie: “I’m sooo fuckin’ funny. But the car is just waaaaay too soft for me, but I prefer it overall to the black one”
Matt: “But do ya wanna keep it on the list?”
Melanie: “Er… no”
After being at a persistent high, Melanie leaves the Jackpot off of her list, somewhat disappointed after the string of great cars. She hops in the Estate Roamer to the next car.
JHW Aura 2.6S - @JohnWaldock
Melanie: “Oh yay, the cute one now”
Matt: “You really quite like this don’t ya?”
Melanie: “It looks fun, and quirky. I wanna pinch it’s cheeks”
Matt: “No, you wanna drive it”
Melanie: “Oh shut it Matt, but yeah I wanna drive it”
A very brief test drive in the Aura, and Melanie quickly came to a conclusion, returning it back to the dealership.
Matt: “Fought so”
Melanie: “It’s OK, but that’s it. It looks fun, but everyfink else is just kinda just good enough, you get me?”
Matt: “I get you”
Melanie: “Yeah, sorry, but as much as I kinda love it, it’s gonna ‘ave to go”
Once more, Melanie discovers another car that she doesn’t want to keep on the list, so moves on to the next dealership to see the next car.
Matteo Miglia Legatus Aperta Speciale - @strop
Melanie: “I still can’t get over how silly the name is”
Matt: “Yeah, like pizza pasta italia meatballs yum yum”
Melanie: “What the fuck ‘appened to you?”
Matt: “Ok, I’ll stop”
Melanie: “Damn right you will. Let’s go for a drive”
Not long after Melanie even leaves the dealership for the test drive, she quickly returns the car and gives her thoughts.
Melanie: “I was always unsure about this, but I actually really do not like this y’know.”
Melanie: “It’s gonna be costly, the front design is meh, we couldn’t go away on weekends in this, too small… I just don’t like it”
Matt: “A definite no then”
Melanie: “Aren’t you a smart cunt?”
Melanie leaves the dealership pretty quickly and hops back into the Estate Roamer, crossing this off the list and moving on to the next.
Komodo Quarte - @koolkei
Melanie: “I can feel it”
Matt: “Yeah, just touch it”
Melanie: “No, you twat! I can feel, y’know, I ain’t gonna like it”
Matt: “Forget. The. Fuckin’. Brown”
Melanie: “Fine, let’s just get this over with”
After going for a rather steady drive around the local area, Melanie comes back with her verdict on the Quarte.
Melanie: “This certainly would be the easiest car to live with and cheapest to keep”
Matt: “You ain’t interested in that though?”
Melanie: “Precisely, everyfink else is kinda either OK, it’s a great cruiser, but I just am unsure on design and it’s kinda slow”
Matt: “Honestly, I’m not sure I even like it”
Melanie: “Well there’s ya answer then”
Melanie, getting a bit upset now, leaves yet another dealership with another car to cross off the list and heads off to the next dealership.
Mosport Arrow Y2K - @thecarlover
Melanie: “OK, I’ve ignored the colour”
Matt: “Is that really the first fing you gonna say”
Melanie: “I’ve said it now, shut it. Well I know stats seem good on this”
Matt: “Seems pretty nice inside”
Melanie: “Yep, we could do most fings in this, and for this kind of car it ain’t gonna be that expensive”
Matt: “Great, let’s drive!”
Melanie: “You mean I drive”
Once Melanie had driven this car round and round in circles down the same rounds, she returns in the Arrow to give her conclusion.
Melanie: “Y’know I fink I’m gonna consider this one”
Matt: “Oh, great another one”
Melanie: “Yeah, it just does everyfink like really well, if not anyfink special”
Matt: “Well I really like it if that ‘elps”
Melanie: “You are never any ‘elp”
Matt: “And fuck you too”
Melanie: “Yeah whatevah. Thanks Mr. Sellingcarguy, we will probably give ya a ring if we wanna buy this one, should be soon.”
Smiling once again after finding another good car, Melanie leaves the dealership with another still on the list and heads off to see the final car.
Falcon Dynamo S+ - @Chipskate
Melanie: “Ugh, this car is so fuckin’ sexy”
Matt: “Whatevah you say”
Melanie: “Like, ugh, everyfink looks so good”
Matt: “Well, with me bein’ clevah, the stats all seem great”
Melanie: “You ain’t fuckin’ clever. This car is though, ugh. The inside is pretty nice as well”
Matt: “Final drive now”
Melanie: “I know. I’m ‘opin’ this’ll be good”
After spending quite some time driving around like a complete maniac, Melanie returns the Dynamo S+ to the dealership along with her thoughts.
Melanie: “OMG, it’s amazin’”
Matt: “I’m impressed too, I wanna drive it”
Melanie: “Ha, you can fuckin’ dream. I fink it’s perfect.”
Matt: “Really? You fink it’s that good. Can’t you fault it?”
Melanie: “Uh, well… um… it could’ve been a little comfier”
Matt: “Is that it?”
Melanie: “I just fuckin’ love this. Mr. Carselllingguyperson you were amazin’ and we will be in touch if we wanna buy it, fanks luv.”
Getting incredibly excited, Melanie leaves the final dealership with another car to consider and drives home in her newly purchased Estate Roamer.
After a very long day of contacting dealerships and driving cars, both Matt and Melanie were completely exhausted and settled down for the night. After brewing a couple of coffees and getting something to eat, they both sit down in their glitsy living room in their fantastic Brentwood home and started discussing the day.
Matt: “So we’ve got five cars you really like then”
Melanie: “Yeah, I ain’t stopped finkin’ ‘bout it all day”
Melanie: “Ugh, I’m so fuckin’ tired”
Matt: “Have you made a decision yet?”
Melanie: “I’m close, but I fink I’ll need to sleep on it before I can say for certain”
Matt: “Yeah, it’s gonna be ‘ard”
Melanie: “You’re ‘ard? Cheeky fuck!”
Matt: “No, listen you silly cow! It’s gonna be ‘ard”
Melanie: “Oh. Yeah. I’m gonna go to bed”
Matt: “I’m gonna join you in a bit”
Melanie: “Alright luv, see ya”
And with that, Melanie feel asleep and dreamt about all the wonderful cars she had driven that day and felt she really made the right decision to not go with one of the original, mainstream cars she’d thought would replace the Z3. She also dreamt of that damn snake car again, causing her to sleeping rather uncomfortably for the rest of the night. Once morning breaks, Melanie would reveal the car she wants to buy.
In a few hours, the final results will be revealed
Just lovin’ the twist with the trade-in of the Audi, lol!
I’ll say it again - the small NSX body is pretty OP for this round (as was the case for CSR69); three of the top five finalists here used it. I have no regrets about my decision to bring a (relatively) big saloon to a sports coupe fight, though; I reckoned early on that it was the best approach for me because it would yield a safer, more comfortable and practical car while retaining high levels of sportiness.
But anyway, I’m filled with anticipation regarding the final results. One thing I didn’t expect, however, was for Melanie to trade in her A4 for… a Chelsea Tractor.
I knew that car what i maked is very stupid or (s****y).I knew i don;t won.It’s better for new user on forum to have other opinion about my cars.
Day 3: Time to buy
It is now the following morning. Melanie slept very little due to simply how much was on her mind. Matt, on the other hand, slept like a log because deep inside he is still a teenager. ALl Melanie could think about was everything she had seen the day before, with there being five almost completely different options available to her, but she was still somewhat unsure about what to go for. Matt couldn’t give a damn at this point.
Both Melanie and Matt sat down at the breakfast table in the kitchen-diner of their stately Brentwood home with large mugs of coffee and bowls of Cornflakes and started to discuss everything once more.
Matt: “Morning luv, how’d ya sleep?”
Melanie: “Just don’t”
Matt: “I take that as shit”
Melanie: “Why ‘ave I done this?”
Matt: “You were all like excited yesterday, what’s up?”
Melanie: “I’ve just ‘ad a shit night, alright!”
Matt: “Yeah. We need to work out what you want though luv”
Melanie: “I know, let me get this coffee down me and we’ll talk”
Melanie rapidly downed her coffee, still a little too hot for her liking, and chomped away on her cereal just staring blankly into the distance while her brain went at a million miles per hour, thinking about what she really wanted. She felt like she was getting close to a final conclusion.
Melanie: “I fink I’ve got it”
Matt: “Got what? You got a yeast infection again?”
Melanie: “Stop bein’ so fuckin’ stupid for once in your fuckin’ life and fink about what I just said again.”
Melanie: “THE CAR!”
Matt: “Oh, yeah shit, sorry. Forgot about that for a moment.”
Melanie: “‘Ow could you fuckin’ forget… never mind”
Melanie: “Look, I’m gonna write it down on a piece of paper and you can tell me what you fink”
Melanie quickly grabs a pen and paper, something she hadn’t done in quite some time. Struggling with spelling, she finally manages to write up a list of the cars in order of preference and shows it to Matt.
Melanie: “What do ya fink?”
Matt: “Uh… you’re askin’ me what you want?”
Melanie: “I just wanna make sure you feel the same”
Matt: “Babes, I just want you to be ‘appy”
Melanie: “Y’know what, sometimes you’re a right twat but I luv you to death”
Matt: “Ta luv. Anyway, I would change one fing.”
Matt: “You remember that old style car with the real posh interior?”
Melanie: “I’ve changed my mind ya fuckin’ cunt”
Matt: “What? I just fought I would remind you that I liked it and kept the brochure”
Melanie: “I ‘onestly don’t know why I bovvahed askin’ ya”
Matt: “No, I’m only jokin’. Y’know I fink you’ve done it right.”
Melanie: “Ok, I’m gonna call the dealer, I’ll say we’re ‘eadin round to close the deal. OMG I so fuckin’ excited”
And with that, Melanie left the piece of paper on her desk, revealing the order of which she placed the final five cars and revealing the car she was heading out to purchase.
5th - Mosport Arrow Y2K - @thecarlover
4th - Erin Tauga Coupe Lex 3.0l - @DeusExMackia
3rd - Ninomiya XFR SSR-T (6MT) - @Urbanliner
2nd - Keika Twist 2.2+ - @BoostandEthanol
1st - Falcon Dynamo S+ - @Chipskate
Melanie arrives at the dealership, beaming to see a gleaming Falcon Dynamo S+ sitting in the centre of the dealership. She quickly ran over to the dealer, signed all the necessary paperwork and was handed the keys to her dark blue Falcon Dynamo S+. She left the dealership, allowing the V8 engine to roar as much as possible as she rapidly vanished into the distance.
Also, congrats to @Leonardo9613 for creating such an amazing entry for all the wrong reasons and making Melanie sell the other car and buy the Estate Roamer for the daily. A first in CSR perhaps?
Melanie and Matt have now been married over fifteen years and have since had two children, Nathan and Tiffany who are now teenagers and starting to get the real characters you would expect for anybody that lives in Essex. Business for Melanie only took off after opening her second store in London, and now owns a large empire of beauty salons throughout the UK. With 2018, Melanie decided it was time to reach further and start a new life elsewhere, and after taking numerous holidays in Benidorm she has decided it would be the place to open the next store and run it herself along with the family.
To this day, Melanie still owns her original Falcon Dynamo S+, as well as owning the latest generation of the Estate Roamer she so dearly loves, the car she instantly fell in love with the moment she grabbed the keys and took it on the first drive. At no moment did Melanie ever feel like it was time to sell the car, but with the move to Spain almost imminent, she knew it made no sense to take a RHD car over to the sunshine where they drive on the other side. It pained her, but the car was getting old, worn out and was almost at the point of complete death. It pained her greatly, but she knew that someday in the future, when she finally retires, she will find herself another one of these amazing cars.
A sunny day breaks in early May 2018 and she decides to take the Dynamo for a spin once more before she finally decides to sell the car to someone, and the memories of that time flood back, making her realise that she definitely made all the right choices back in the day and had zero regrets whatsoever. She smiles, as once more she drove off into the distance, singing along to her favourite song ever from Destiny’s Child.
Automation Sunday Cup - Race 4: Laguna Seca
And I thought my car was going to be too boring looking and too ‘chav’ for Melanie, guess she thought otherwise
Big thanks for hosting, was a lot of fun to participate and read! The interactions between Matt and Melanie were really funny and I think you got down the couple dynamic well.
I might host the next challenge, but I’m not 100% sure yet. I’ll need to bounce a couple of ideas with the guys in the Discord, if none of them are good I’ll just pass it on down.
Just missed the top! Oh well, tried my best! This was fun despite my lazy and rushed entry. Congrats to Chipskate!