Wow !!! I Just Found This Weird Car Commercial From 1989 I Thought You Guys Might Like It !
Holy damn someone give this man a medal!
How long did that take and what did you make it with?
That is absolutely glorious. Excellent work.
Part 2 is finally here!
Thank you for patiently waiting! I understand how eager you are to read your review, since there is just so much that we have written about on each car.
James and Donny decide to move over from cafeteria and walk back to the office, where they can judge the car more thoroughly with more driving reports and pictures to look at and compare with.
@Kyuu77 - KGB Regalia RS Platinum
D: “What is this car? It looks wider than its length!”
J: “It has some attempt at styling, but let’s read the review first.”
This is a rival to the Reduit GSR8, and by that we don’t mean it costs $160k, but rather that it’s an exercise of how far you can take an automobile to its absolute limit.
This one promises even more horsepower than the Reduit, while costing about less than a third from it at $52.100. Seems like a bargain, right? Despite its weight, the acceleration is only a touch slower than the amazing Panthera estate. It also shows why it costs very little compared to the Reduit as it’s not a well-made car at all.
Everywhere you touch will feel like it was built in a shed. We had one on test and it failed to start half the time. Also, by the end of testing the car emitted pronounced engine knocking noises which doesn’t seem reassuring. The brakes smoked and basically gave up after several hard braking; Upon further investigation, it has solid non-vented brakes on all fours instead of vented ones. The hand-made interior and cassette player was nice to have, but felt flimsy as if made out of material so thin you swear you could hear tearing and cracking noise when it’s driving.
It rides well enough, and it turns okay. But the gears were popping out of place, and we had the brakes lock up. We don’t mean we stomp on it and it locks, we mean it seized while we were doing top speed test. The power steering line also burst while we were trying to park it, and with its sticky 305 section front tyres on a 1,900 kg car, this thing is a b**** to park.
All in all, this car is an incredible deal, if you want to die in a horrible car crash at high speed, that is. But what a way to go, right?
Verdict: So many negative quality points distributed evenly throughout the car. Low reliability and equally massive turbo lag as the GSR8. (binned)
@EddyBT - Panthera STT-DSE
Here is something unusual. An estate car. It’s a great looking estate car too and is clearly mean business. It’s also All wheel driven and with turbocharged inline 6 like many others.
It is also incredibly luxurious inside. Absolutely great attention to detail have been put into its design and material is top notch. The stereo system also comes with equaliser and 6 speakers! The suspension is also Hydropneumatic. This car is chock full of techs!
Starting it up you’ll find that it’s LOUD. Screaming inline 6 is for the winner and this one is a 3.2-litre producing 430hp. Powering all wheels through 5 speed manual transmission, this car accelerates well, and when you turn into corners it goes absolutely where you wish it go. It also doesn’t ride harshly like many other in the segment. And yet the brakes squeal like a pig.
All in all, this is an incredible car. Looks great, fast as hell, comfortable, luxurious. What’s the catch? This thing is about 3 times more expensive than the Atera or Bradford. But still cheaper than Honghu. But this is worth it for the tech alone.
D: “An estate! How on earth is an estate going to fit the bill for Gecko’s character?”
J: “Well, with a little elbow grease and some screenwriting trickery, we could make the car work despite its body shape. The audience who prefer sedan will eventually come in terms with this and accept the estate look as is.”
D: “I hope you’re right. Those stats are too good of an opportunity to pass up on.”
Verdict: It’s a very solid all-around performer, but being a station wagon it leaves some doubts over how well will the fans receive it. (considered)
@Aaron.W - Tanaka 300X
D: “Pfft, 173 Macniwt. What does that even mean?”
J: “It appears to be a mirrored “Twincam EFI” sticker.”
D: “Oh yeah. This is still an attractive package nonetheless. Let’s see what the magazine has to say.”
With just the first glance you’ll fall in love with this amazing design. It really is one of the most amazing looking car we’ve seen on the market. But is it actually any good?
Step inside and you’ll find a decent interior, and a great stereo system which is definitely a plus. It also comes with airbag system which is great for safety. This is also a stoutly built car despite having aluminium panels for its body parts. The engine is smooth and produce a nice noise from its free flowing exhaust.
However, those are the good points. This car has a lot of drawbacks, starting with the fact that the gearing isn’t great. It will scream through its nose on motorway. The brakes are very much undersized and thus isn’t able to stop it very well. The suspension is decent enough, but the tyres are tiny and is off a family saloon. This car might looks like the hottest sports car on the market today, but it really is just a poser cruiser.
If looking good is the only thing you cared about, definitely go for this. It’s comfortable and cool. But don’t expect to win races with it.
J: “So, yes or no?”
D: “Uhh, bollocks. I really want this car, but it seems to be only good at staying still and being pretty.”
J: “We could make it a prop or a side character’s car. It’s a win-win situation.”
D: “Maybe. I just hope that the next cars can be better than this.”
Verdict: It’s a beautifully-styled car, but is hampered by its underpowered engine and numerous other technical problems. (binned)
@MasterDoggo - Jipot J4 Coupe Turbo 16S
J: “It looks like a great car, actually.”
D: “It looks like fun, but check out these complaint letters for the Jipot. ‘The cabin noise is very loud and the engine drone makes my ears ring.’ That’s not a good sign.”
J: “Ouch, yeah that’s too bad. It has some potential, but I don’t want the actors to develop tinnitus in the long run.”
Binned for not meeting minimum comfort.
@Mad_Cat - Washington Canyon G3
From a refined sports car to a brute. This car styling made clear what it’s supposed to be. A tyre munching muscle coupe with real American Pushrod V8.
You’d be surprised then to find that it has independent rear suspension. Seems sophisticated for what this car really is. The tyres are tiny and off family saloon so you’ll be doing burnouts all day long with no consequences. And as expected from such machine, the interior is woeful. Automatic gearbox is nice, however.
The suspension also is stiff, but not too harsh. It doesn’t turn well and the rear end steps out all the time. The brakes are adequate but not much else. The power and torque is great from it’s stonking 5.7-litre N/A V8.
If you wondered what a muscle car is. This is the perfect example of one. Lairy, dramatic, fast, uncomfortable, doesn’t turn, and most important of all, cheap.
J: “So, yes or no?”
D: “I think it’s a no. Styling is nice and blocky, but if it can’t keep itself straight then what’s the point?”
Verdict: It’s got some merits, but the oversteery tail-happy handling could be a little too much. (binned)
@Boiled_Steak - Aria Kyoto S
This is a sleek and well designed car. Very sporty coupe which our example was finished in red. The sort of poster car that a child would have on his bedroom wall.
Pop the hood and you’ll find an Inline 6 engine with 3.2-litre of displacement producing 360hp. Decent numbers for a performance car. Quite loud too, which is great. The gearbox is 5-speed with limited slip differential which promises great things in life.
But if you actually drive it, you’ll find that it’s actually rather unresponsive, the steering doesn’t feel direct, and the gearbox isn’t very well set up. At the top it’ll bounce off limiter, and at low speed the ratio isn’t very suitable for track driving. The worst of both worlds, but at least it has a bit of power to make up for that. The interior is finished with alcantara complete with a set of gauges, and bucket seats. But it’s quite cramped inside and the sound insulation is minimal, presumably to save weight. At least it’s got a great stereo system.
It costs a bit of money, but is a well rounded package. We just wished more thoughts went into engineering as it’d have make this car the perfect machine. As it is, it’s close, but not quite.
D: “Would you pick this car?”
J: “It’s got some decent styling, but everything else just falls apart from that point.”
Verdict: There are unfortunately numerous technical compromises that kept the car from being a consideration. It’s quite sporty and has better prestige than the general populace, yes, but it barely passes the minimum stats, and doesn’t excel much everywhere else. (binned)
@mcp928 - Friesian Police Special
We’ve received a letter of apology saying that this car will not be finished in time.
It apparently is a concept police vehicle for America. We do not know much about it apart from that it has 5.0-litre V8 producing 240 horsepower. Solid axle, aluminium body, all wheel drive and manual gearbox. And that it looks like that.
We’ll assume it is good until we get to drive it.
Binned for going over ET limit on both the engine and trim.
@abg7 - AMA Kingbird 4.6
This is an unremarkable looking, yea big yea high sports coupe. The sort of design that appears timeless and forgettable. It doesn’t have a feature at all and that’s its strong suit, as the car is very inoffensive and will appeal to a lot of people.
If you can accept that this is a very average looking car, you’ll find that it is one of the most comprehensive package you can get for this amount of money. Inside there’s a very high quality leather interior and a great stereo system. The engine is a V8 with 260 horsepower. It has good suspension and braking system too. And a very good steering feel and feedback.
To drive, this thing is actually rather enjoyable, despite its appearance you can have a bit of tail happy action with it. Not the most grippy car in the test, definitely, but it’s decent enough.
All in all, this might be one of the best car you can get right now, it’s just a shame that no one would notice.
J: “What do you think about this car? The styling is nothing to write home about, though.”
D: “Hmmm, it could work in a spy setting where it’s going to be used to tail people or conduct stakeouts. Nobody would notice its appearance. Heck, They will not even realize how the hell could this car be able to infiltrate their bases. It’s the perfect incognito vehicle!”
J: “But is it the perfect vehicle for Sammy Gecko?”
Verdict: The car is safe in all regards. Safe design, safe performance, safe to the occupants. That being said, Detective Gecko is not known for being a “safe” person. (was considered, but eventually binned)
@LinkLuke - LLA Sceptor AVX
D: “What about this LLA Sceptor?”
J: “Those headlights are a bit large, don’t you think?”
D: “They look rather normal-sized to me.”
J: “Is it now? I’m not sure, then. There is something in that front fascia that feels exaggerated, but I can’t seem to put my finger on it.”
This very ridiculous piece of design is the boy racer’s favourite for its bold statement. It’s a loud, brash, fiery popping angry machinery that is ready for a fight no matter where it goes. But is it actually any good? We dig deep down and find out.
We find out that this 400hp all wheel drive saloon car isn’t actually that much faster than the Rosker Warrior despite having 90 extra horsepower, 50kg less weight and 2 extra drive. So yes, we do question how it’s set up. Anyhow, this car doesn’t actually communicates to the driver all that much. Despite its interior matching the outside, it’s actually quite refined, soft riding (if a bit unevenly), and lacking in feel.
The brake feels good, but squeal much worse than any of the car we have before, almost like it’s metal grinding against metal. Road holding isn’t that good and it won’t respond to steering input like you’d hope it would from appearance.
So this is very much a point and shoot car. Very popular with young crowds who like big numbers. On the road, however, this is not the car you drive with much finesse or control.
D: “So, it’s a no then?”
J: “Let’s say it’s a no.”
Verdict: It’s ambitious in trying to achieve a lot of power, but the price it pays is equally plenty. In-cabin experience is not pleasant, and the handling is not very sharp. (binned)
@DukeOFhazards - Yotata Fazer GTTi-X
This car has a very bodacious colour scheme hiding the fact it looks like a family saloon. A very weird family saloon with a chassis from a truck.
Stepping inside you’ll find the interior is lined with damn near the finest material you can get for the day. The stereo is a decent unit too. It’s an Automatic which promised great comfort and ease of operation. This car comes with 4-speed Automatic and V8 Turbo to provide nearly 440hp to the rear wheels.
Reading all of this you may think of it as an unsophisticated lout of a car, and you’re right. This car doesn’t turn very well due to both the tyres and soft suspension setup, it also doesn’t stop very well and generally feels a bit crude. It’s decently fast in the straight line so that’s a good point. The main thing is that it does everything so comfortably and we like the cruiser soul of it.
That’s exactly right. This might look like a boy racer machine for yobbos, but it packs a heart of a GT cruiser. One thing, however, might kill the mood slightly, it has a lot of heat soaking issue and doesn’t run right most of the time. But when it does you’ll be so comfortable.
D: “How’s this for a car?”
J: “Hmmm, hold on. What is that windshield wiper?”
J: “Look at this! it’s how it looks like when the wipers are up. So quirky.”
D: “But is it any good technical-wise?”
J: “Well, I like quirky little things, but having technical problems is not one of them.”
Verdict: It’s undeniably more comfortable than most entries, but the unwieldy handling and high levels of brake fade makes it unsuitable for what the producers have in mind. Oh, and it oversteers too. (binned)
@MGR_99 - Rosker Warrior GTX
D: “Ooh, this car emits sex appeal all over it.”
J: “I agree.”
D: “Let’s see what the review has to say.”
An incredible looking muscle car that doesn’t appear to be scared of anything. It just invites you to do a cross-country run while evading the laws.
It has a 5-litre V8 engine producing 310hp powering through 5-speed gearbox. Huge tyres too, more than enough to make this thing very quick indeed. We can harp on how this car turns great and drives well, how it rides like a race car and how it stops on a dime. I’m afraid everything will be overshadowed by its styling, which is pure awesome.
The inside is unremarkable, the ride’s stiff as hell, it barks and scream everywhere. But it does so in a glorious way that we cannot help but smile everytime we go for a drive in it.
For the price? It might not be as good as the AMA Kingbird in any of the quantifiable way, but if you’re looking for that perfect Coupe that does everything including making people smile everywhere you go, this is it.
D: “So it’s a true muscle car, but better at everything?”
J: “If we were to ignore the rock hard suspensions, then yes.”
D: “Then that’s a yes from me.”
Verdict: The styling looks very distinctive and powerful. The specs aren’t too shabby either, if a little rough on the ride quality. (considered)
@Urbanliner - Stark Panjandrum RT-X-SP
This car has been designed like a pumped up family saloon car. What’s lurking underneath is thus all the more remarkable.
It has a gem of an engine. 370hp Boxer-6, out of a German Sports car, this engine screams and pops and bangs like you want and is very solidly built. The chassis is also from typical German sports car with rear engine design. But then it was fitted to a very dumpy looking 4-door car with slightly lipped front spoiler and flared arches. All wheel drive and manual transmission completed the packaged. Oh and a very nice interior too.
This car, however has questionable stability on higher speeds. At lower speeds, the car has wonderful handling, but on higher speeds, it feels like it’s only two wheels that actually touch the road. The rear end of the car felt a lot lighter, and the front end had so much grip it twitched on the slightest steering input and once it does, returning to its original orientation is hard work.
So this is very much a sports car built into a 4-door saloon body. But it’s a potentially dangerous one. If you like unusual design in automobile this is definitely the one to look for.
Verdict: The rear end lifts on high speed while the front end generates a lot more downforce. Better suited for technical course and low speed scenes, but highway scenes are just out of the question. (binned)
@CMT - CMT L43 DX
This car does not look like anything we’ve seen before in our life. And it certainly is divisive when it first appeared on the market.
The L43 doesn’t hide its heritage at all, as it is a very large car with a V8 engine and a solid axle. This design emits the true “American” quality like no others. It has optional AWD system and 4.6-litre overhead cam V8, but “only” 260hp. It also comes with air suspension and relatively low rent interior compared to its rivals. But when you see the price tag you forget everything you’re seeing.
The drive is exactly what the entire brief above suggested. It doesn’t really turn all that well, and there’s a lot of tramlining from the rear solid axle. The engine lazily produce a lot of grunt and noise, which resulted in a little amount of go. It has an issue with the suspension, in which it feels overly dampened. The car rides firmer than you’d expected but once you put load on it, the suspension has a lot of travel which doesn’t translate well to good handling feel. Also, at the top it bounces off the rev limiter.
Another straight line cruiser then. This car is cheap, comfortable, and not slow. If you can live with the styling then this could probably be a car to consider.
D:" I don’t like its looks. It’s like a car version of a mullet: Square in the front, curvy in the back. And those lights at the front! You just need to color the car white and it can become a really weird-looking ambulance."
Verdict: Clashing styling, mediocre performance. We appreciate the attempt to give it police lights, though. (binned)
@HowlerAutomotive - Sovernator Opulence
As we all know, currently the 1950’s nostalgia is in full effect. The Sovernator Opulence is a one-off concept car made to combine 1950’s period styling with 1980’s technology filled performance.
Now, when we say 1980’s technology, we don’t mean the engine is modern. It’s actually a rebuilt 10-litre displacement V12 aircraft engine with overhead camshaft and many carburetors. 620 horsepower and a massive bulk of torque. It is a sight to behold the way it shoots fire out of the exhaust every time you start it up. We do wonder if it’s actually road legal.
Step inside and you’ll find that the Opulence does not skimp on the hand made stuff. Exotic materials and modern stereo. It also has air suspension which is set up soft to soak up bumps. This is one comfortable car. And because this has massive tyres from a racing car, it can turn better than the look suggested. Its handling is also surprisingly responsive to input.
If you want one, you can contact the manufacturer who will work with you to create the bespoken example. We find that very enticing because it’s cheaper than you’d expect. Truly an excellent piece of machinery.
D: “I want this.”
J: “But it’s old.”
D: “No it’s not, it’s more like a vintage-inspired one-off rendition of a modern car.”
J: “It has carburetors.”
D: “But it also has ridiculous amount of power. More than six hundred of them, even!”
J: “But does it fit Gecko’s style?”
D: “Does it matter?”
J: “You want this car, don’t you.”
Verdict: This car feels so wrong, yet so right at the same time. I applaud the amount of ingenuity put into this. (considered)
@Centurion_23 - CKL Anvil
This neat-looking lifted station wagon doesn’t appear all that special from the outside. It looks like average family truck ready for years of hard life. It just happen to have a huge V8 under the bonnet.
But the weirdness doesn’t stop there, as for whatever reason (probably taxes), it only has one seat in the front row, despite typical layout at the back. You could’ve probably fitted another seat easily and apart from that it is a very nice, high quality interior. But this actually does not matter one bit because the main reason you’d have this car is what’s under the skin.
5.5-litre V8 producing nearly 420 horsepower, this is a lot more than many high ends sports car. In something that will be endlessly practical for family needs. It’s not exactly going to be the best in driving dynamics, even if it has good road holding capability from it’s huge tyres, this is still a truck, with full ladder frame, solid axle, and automatic gearbox. But before you write it off as just a ludicrous idea made real, try to get a drive in it first and you’ll be amazed at how good it is for a high riding truck with a lot of power.
It is very costly, however. Due to licensing the same aerodynamic technology as the Honghu. But look at it this way, there’s no price on uniqueness and nothing else will be able to do what this does.
D: “A wagon.”
J: “It sure is.”
D: “For one, it has a ridiculous power for a wagon. And two, what the heck is that seating arrangement?”
J: “It’s one of its quirks, you know?”
D: “I’m not sure, it sounds more like a bad joke because of how well it performs despite everything.”
J: “Let’s put this in Gecko’s perspective, then: If he were given the choice to pick between this and a saloon of comparable stat, which one would he pick?”
J&D: “The saloon.”
J: “That settles it, then.”
Verdict: It’s the least wagon-like wagon that the producers have ever seen. Might win some drag races due to its sleeper appearance, but it also might cause public outcry if it were featured in the show. (binned)
@BoostandEthanol - SSE PentaStar Kick 2.5
D: “The SSE PentaStar Kick. Only 207 hp but… Under 1000 kilograms? This is one nimble car.”
J: “But check out this driver’s report. He reported seeing smoke coming out of the front wheels after some hard braking tests. He also reported excessive engine drone and very rough ride. That is certainly not good news.”
“Yep. I don’t want my drivers to suffer tinnitus, back problems and crash into an indestructible trash can. Just imagine the amount of domino effect that would cause.”
Binned for having 0.2 points below minimum comfort score.
@titleguy1 - Rigore Angeles MT-R Wolff Engineering Battleaxe
When you first approach the Rigore Angeles you’ll find that it looks incredibly sinister. Like it was designed by Darth Vader himself. It keeps that facade until you start inspecting it with a fine comb tooth.
It’s actually a very luxurious car, with incredible attention to detail in it’s feature rich interior. Even if the entertainment system is a little bit bare bone, this still is a very good car to spent time in. The suspension is also soft and compliant, rides like a cloud for a sports car. This is a very comfortable long distance cruiser.
It has 3.6-litre turbocharged engine producing 400 horsepower. Boxer design for lower centre of mass. This appears to be powerful, but you’ll find that with its low low-end torque due to turbo lag combined with the gearing, it’s not actually all that punchy unless you’re in the right gear at the right time. It’s still fast, but you won’t be getting even any chirps from the tyres, especially because it’s also all wheel drive.
So, a very sporty looking car hiding a very civilised and sluggish car. We find that it’s very likeable if you don’t mind not driving it like your hair’s on fire.
D: “Oh, I just instantly fell in love with this car. It’s just so beautiful. Too bad that they didn’t send us the latest trim year.”
J: “The headlights alone already look ahead of its time. The other cars would have had rectangular or circular lights, but this one’s got a complex half-trapezoid-half-cylindrical shape on it.”
D: “The engine has turbo lag on it. Low speed driving is going to be awful.”
J: “Yes, but it’s awful while also simultaneously looking pretty on camera. That’s what makes all the difference, innit.”
Verdict: Good comfort, great handling, amazing looks, if a bit of a slug when it’s outside the boost range. (considered)
@undercoverhardwarema - ATI-Giuseppe Tsunami AM
Here you’ll find a very awesome looking truck which no one will ever expected to be fast. But surely you’d know something is up if you’re reading this article.
The Tsunami actually is a bit of a soft-roader. It has car chassis and suspension wrapped with a truck body. Apparently this is popular in Australia. Anyhow, this truck is equipped with 400 hp Inline 6 Turbo which makes it quick. Not the quickest of them all, but we’re dealing with a truck here. Despite the 4x4 sticker suggested on the sides, this car actually delivers all its power exclusively to the rear wheels. Handling wise, this is nothing special. With slight oversteer soon following by ploughing front end and lots of roll due to high centre of mass, this is not a car you’ll enjoy driving fast with.
The interior is made of decent quality, but not that remarkable. The stereo system is great, however. But the ride is very stiff for the road. It’s almost as if they have to compensate for extra weight created by the body especially at the top.
It’s certainly a unique ride, and a very affordable one for the performance. It doesn’t drive all that great, but it can make you smile nonetheless.
D: “Another wagon, but with a proper seat arrangement this time. It’s got rear wheel drive and a half tonne of torque, so it’s going to pull burnouts with ease.”
J: “I don’t know why, but I’m getting a kind of drug dealer car vibes from this thing.”
D: “Does it, now? I think it looks alright, to be honest. Should we put this for a consideration?”
J: “Let’s ask the same question again: Would Gecko want to be seen driving this?”
J: “Wrong answer. The answer is no.”
D: “But the writers, they–”
J: “Up up up up, shhh. Slowly repeat after me. The car. Is not. Good.”
D: “But the car is–”
J: “Shhhhhhhhhhhh. The car. Is not. Good.”
D: sighs “The car is not good.”
J: “Very well.”
Verdict: Decent power, but gives up quite early on turns. Styling is not immediately offensive, but is a little gaudy especially on the side skirts and rear bumper. Overall does not seem to match the detective’s character. (binned)
@Xepy - Greil Tyrfing
This pudgy green car is affectionately nicknamed “The Frog” by the public. With pronounced shark nose, the Tyrfing has a very distinctive design. The car, however, won’t reveal it’s true self until you start the engine and go for a drive.
Inside there is a very high quality interior finished in exotic materials, sort of like super car. Even though the stereo system is a bit basic, it works well and is of high quality. The car is also incredibly well crafted, like it’s refined from a block of granite. And at this point you’ll notice that the car’s been running all this time but you never hear it. It’s so quiet.
So you put it in 1st and would never expect the sort of acceleration that it gives, not great in number despite V8 with 400 horsepower. But the sheer torque wall combined with short gearing and good diff makes this feel like a rally car for the road. This is helped by the excellent road holding and turn-in which makes this a very nice car to drive. It’s also quite comfortable to ride in.
It is pricey, but it is great fun. If you like its styling and can afford the lofty price, this is not a buy we won’t recommend.
J: “The Frog! My neighbor had one of these in this very green color, and it’s hellishly fast. Great little machine.”
Verdict: Aside from its cute silhouette, it’s actually a mean and angry machine inside, and the handling is quite well-sorted too. (considered)
(To be continued in part 3)
Aww, I got binned. Hey, at least I got the looks right! Can’t wait to see who’s the winner.
Talk down to the wagon mafia and you’re gonna get jumped
Fair enough. I tried to play it safe with a Q-car which had an NA V8 and RWD instead of an AWD turbo monster but still got ignored. I have absolutely no regrets about my decision, though - a mint '89 Kingbird 4.6 Pro would definitely be welcome at Radwood 30 years later.
And kudos to you for the surprise twist just before the reviews began - I never had the slightest hint that this round was actually about a TV series until now! No wonder it’s starting to feel like CSR66 again; that round was set in an earlier era but had a similar premise.
On a side note, how much turbo lag did you think was too much? 3500 to 4000 rpm or so?
This thought popped into my head on the way home from work, two days after I submitted it. " Oh crap, I sent the RWD version!" My bad.
Yes, if we’re strictly talking in this CSR, then a lag until 4000 RPM or above is not ideal. But that’s not the sole reason a car has slow acceleration. The gearing should also be taken into account as well, since ideally the car should still be within the boost RPM as it shifts into the next gear. Having a tighter ratio should help.
Just woke up, hahaha
Yeah it would have taken way less time if i found a fitting song for the commercial earlier. It was very hard since I was looking up 80s car commercials to kind of get that 80s feel of cheesiness right.
So for this video ? Probably 4-5 hours to get everything right. For the whole project ? About 10 hours.
And using Sony Vegas Pro was just adding even more time to the editing process.
Since It was very generous in crashing my video project every 5-15 minutes for no given reason.
Oh yeah if anyone is remotely interested in giving my car a test drive :
CSR99 - HPMinecraft - HPM Dominator NT-R.car (85.2 KB)
Damn I was at 20.1 comfort, I probably modified something just before the export :x
Well that was a screw up on my part, I forgot to recheck the engine ET after some testing. Short version, all four engines mentioned in the ad were withing 3 seconds of each other on the test track. I eventually decided on the V8 because 1989 despite only being under a second faster than the 3.8L turbocharged engine (99.7 ET, turbo kicks in at 2600, and actually designed for this contest).
I do have a small complaint though, my client said my car was 110ET, so at the limit, but the bin said I missed the mark? I do not have open beta, so could that be a translation error? I also get an ET of 114.3 on the V8, is that consistent? I’m out either way, just academically curious.
The ANM 6300HTI thing is sold at N Auto Dealers, in case if you note the dealer location.
The bins start coming and they don’t stop coming and they don’t stop coming and they don’t stop coming…
The story continues as our show producer protagonists are completely immersed in the trashy car magazine they’re reading.
@Mikonp7 - Ecamobile Ace Sport Mark II Stromlinie
J: “So, Ecamobile-Pfeil Ace I assume. From the looks alone I can already tell that this is a performance-oriented trim of an otherwise ordinary sedan.”
D: “Heheh, TUBA TECH. Is this some sort of instrument-manufacturer-turned-motorsport kind of thing?”
J: “No, that’s how they brand their turbochargers.”
D: “But does it DOOT like a tuba?”
D: “How disappointing.”
This is a very sharp looking sports saloon finished in green. This car promises both effortless travelling and engaging driving experience, let’s see if that’s true.
It may only have 240 horsepower on the tap, but it uses this power very efficiently, resulting in minimal power loss and good acceleration. There’s very little turbo lag and gearing is perfect. The car also sounds good on the outside and very insulated on the inside. It really is nice, especially for the price point. It’s also equipped with one of the most cutting edge stereo system on the market.
But there’s a catch. This car, despite having adaptive dampers, rides hard like a physics exam when you haven’t prepared. This makes the very comfortable interior seems a wasted potential. The car does turn well with excellent body control, but is it really necessary to make a car this stiff?
Anyhow, as long as you can live with that, the car is a very good buy for the price. Looks good, sounds good, fast and well equipped. Although the reliability record is merely subpar.
D: “Ooh, sexy. Might be a good compromise between handling and engine power.”
Verdict: Styling looks very race inspired, and allegedly has good handling. (considered)
@nialloftara - Centauri Boulevard GTZ
D: “What is that headlight? And is that one single tail light at the back? And why doesn’t it have any mirrors???”
This car is both brutal and baroque at the same time in its design. A unique looking car for sure. You’ll find that the rest of the car is exactly like its styling.
The engine certainly is brutal, a massive 6.4-litre V8 producing 410 hp. It will spins its rear wheels all day long without getting tired. This is because of two reason, one is that the differential isn’t very effective, and two is that the gearing is short and there’s plenty of torque. Even if it has huge sports tyres this will go through them very quickly.
But, even though it has one of the best interior quality we’ve ever seen in a car, a quick go in it will reveal its true colour. The chassis isn’t particularly rigid because it appears to be from a truck. While the suspension is stiff, it isn’t very well damped. It does not even feel that quick due to it spinning its power away a lot.
This car appears to have been made for one purpose only, which is showing off. Particularly in a huge clouds of tyre smoke from all the burnouts it can do. ‘Merica.
D: “So, is it a no or a no?”
J: “The interior looks nice and plush, it would be a shame if someone… vomited on it after a donut session.”
D: “I’ll take that as a no.”
Verdict: We like cars that do burnouts, but only when we want it to. At least the ride is plush like a cloud. (binned)
@Quotex - Makina Spectra 3000GT
Honestly, this is one of the best looking car on the market right now. With attention to detail like this, we do wonder why it doesn’t cost a lot more than it is.
It is a stereotypical sports car. Although is has to be said that this doesn’t turn as well as we expected it to. It’s actually rather tail happy too all things considered. But the 320hp Inline 6 Turbo engine is a gem, although the reliability track record is not the greatest. You’ll find that this car is certainly enjoyable to drive.
The interior is of decent quality, with great stereo system with equaliser! It’s a decent comfortable cruiser too when you’re done with sliding around. Not too stiff a suspension, but stiff enough to be fun. Although we notice that the front end does dive in a lot while the rear doesn’t. Weird. Then we found that this car has no front anti roll bar which would explain both diving and oversteer, weird setup for a rear drive car.
But really, what do you want more? This car is about the best designed car you’ll see on the road today. Awesome, awesome, awesome.
D: “Check this bad boy out.”
D: "Heheh, OBRUT. First it was Tuba, and now this. It’s as if this car desperately wants to tell the people in front of them that it has one. 'Out of my way! I HAZ A TURBO!’”
J: “From the manufacturer’s official promotional material, the Makina signature three stripes is a repeating pattern and can be found all over the body.”
D: “Let me see if I can find more. There are plenty pictures of this car, and we’ve already got two from the first photo.”
D: “Another two on the trim piece and rear bumper.”
D: “Another two near the A-pillar and the side trim.”
D: “And the last one are the vent louvers on the bonnet, though it seems to be stretching the possibilities a bit.”
J: “Detailing aside, is it a yes?”
D: “Hell yes.”
Verdict: This car singlehandedly puts its bumper bar detailing placement game to the next level (with 231 kb .car file, it’s more than twice the size of the second car with most amount of fixtures). (considered)
@machalel - AAAA Dynasty Vanguard
This is a crips and modern saloon car which has somewhat unusual rear end design. It may not have most detailing works done (Nothing does after the Makina) to it, but it certainly has nice proportions and thoughts put into it.
Stepping inside and you’ll find a combination of alcantara and the latest and best in car entertainment technology. With trip meter and head up display showing off the best in the business. For its price this is great.
The issue starts when you drive it. Not that it is bad or anything, this is still a good car to drive. Just not… Sporty. It has 4-litre V8 engine producing 250hp and red paint but when you try it this thing doesn’t really respond in a way the bold exterior suggest. It also has archaic 4-speed manual transmission (which is nicely geared, however). The brakes also doesn’t stop it very well or withstand track driving, but at least it’s got a very nice pedal feel with minimum noise. Also, the ride does appear to be quite soft at the back which means it doesn’t have good body control either.
As long as you understand this is not actually a sports car. It’s actually a very good, competent fast saloon car for not too much money.
D: “Aaahhhhh the red, it buurrrrrnnnnns.” covers eyes with one hand
J: “This is a very long car. Almost 5 metre long and has massive overhang on both the front and rear sides.”
D: “What is that tail lights? This is like a car-mullet situation all over again. Very square at the front, but weirdly curved and swoopy in the back.”
J: “So it’s a no?”
D: “Well, does the review say that it’s a good car?”
J: “It does, just not the kind of car we’d have in mind.”
D: “That’s good enough. Next!”
Verdict: Aside from the safety, it has nothing else that stands out to be competitive. (binned)
@Keikyun - ANM Turbo 6300HTi
5 years and 173 grand is what you need to get one of these. A car that has a decent styling yet doesn’t really say 173 large.
To start with, the body shell of made of hand beaten aluminium like typical 1930’s coachbuilders luxury car. It also utilised whatever the witchcraft has been used on the Honghu and CKL Anvil. The engine is a 3-litre 350 horsepower unit. Decent enough. With only one camshaft it seems basic for the price of the car itself.
Is it fast? Yes. Does it turn well? Definitely! Does it ride well? Slightly over damped. Is the interior made of whale penis? Why of course it is! We have to say that this is one of the most competent car we’ve tested. But then again it’s going to take ages before you get the delivery.
If you can wait 5 years and is prepared to pay through the nose. By all means, go ahead. This is pretty much the epitome of stealth wealth. It might be one of the most expensive car on sale today, no one will ever notice.
D: “Woah, who would’ve thought that it’s possible to have so much tech cramped into this tiny body?”
J: “And it doesn’t ooze any of that out to the exterior either. Quick, on a scale of 1 to 10, how incognito is this car compared to the AMA Kingbird?”
D: “I’d say about 9. While the Kingbird at least has a dedicated coupe body, this one is just a plain ol’ saloon.”
Verdict: Its style is too generic and nondescript despite the otherwise-impressive performance and handling. (was considered, then binned, then considered, then finally binned for good)
@zschmeez - Albatross Oakland S
You ever have a sense of dejavu? Like you’ve just met somebody and felt like you’ve seen them before but couldn’t put your finger on when. The styling of the Oakland will makes you feel dejavu everytime you see it because you’ll never be able to remember how it looks.
Open the bonnet and you’ll find a good V6 engine 3.4-litre with 220 horsepower. Quiet, reliable, economical. Paired to long geared 4-speed Automatic gearbox and this car will propels you in a brisk manner. 7 seconds to 60mph is not too shabby. The handling is fine until you try to drive it anywhere vaguely close to the limit. There’s a low level of grip and the setup means that it’s very tail happy.
The inside you’ll find decent quality interior, but a woeful stereo system more fitting to a basic hatchback. We recommends that you replace the stereo after you got the car.
Which will be an easy task, because this thing is family car money. It’s so cheap compared to any comparable car in this road test book and I can’t say you will be having less of a fun. But be careful when you operate this machine as it might cause a bit of a hold my beer moment. Wait, where’s it gone again?
J: “I need to get Albatross’ direct call number. I want to order these in fleets.”
D: “For Gecko?”
J: "What? No, that’s madness. These cars are going to supplement the old A-series as expendable cars in the studio. They’re cheap enough to be thrashed around by the baddies and we don’t actually need to worry much about parts since they’re basically everywhere.
Verdict: Perfect as a prop car, but it’s not a good hero car. (binned)
@TheElt - Colin
D: “Hahahaha! Damn, look at this tank! We need to call the military if they’re missing any armored truck!”
There are a few things you need to know about Colin. It likes good conkers, the turbo eats birds, and it drinks a lot of petrol. This is, there’s no other way to say it, an armoured car.
Powered by a 1,100 horsepower V10 engine. This thing is fast. It has huge bespoke semi-slick tyres. Brakes that stop it well. A weird military seating configuration with turret hatch at the top. And it’s not as large as you think it is looking at it. The way it drives is unique, fast as hell but doesn’t actually feel all that fast. But then again, nothing will stop this thing from going fast, no matter if it’s a wall or a rival military regime.
The way this thing drives is terrifying in so many way. And it’s going to be reliable as everything is made of military grade parts, which means that everything is tough and will last a lifetime, but is a massive pain to fix.
D: "Bloody hell.
J: “Yep. So, this… thing. Let’s call it a “thing” from now on. As mentioned in the article, it seems to have the style of armored vehicles not unlike the ones the US military are using right now. But, while the purpose of an armored vehicle is to protect its occupants from projectiles, this thing, instead, protects its occupants while simultaneously turns itself, and everyone inside it, into one giant unstoppable projectile. I mean, just look at that acceleration time. It’s insane!”
D: “The body is made of really thick steel plates, which means that it’s nearly undentable. It doesn’t have any window that rolls down. It does have an openable hatch at the top, in case we need to actually do shooting scenes. Which means that the best way to stop criminals while driving this car…”
J: “…is by ramming them into submission?”
J: "Here’s another info regarding the Colin. Test drives showed that driving this vehicle to its limits incites non-physical trauma and symptoms of hallucination onto their occupants. One co-test driver who sat in the passenger seat claimed to see the Grim Reaper strolling with rollerblades on the roadside as they drove by. Another decided to quit their job and converted to a peaceful life of being a mountain hermit shortly after.
D: “Damn. To think that a car would shift someone’s view of the world like that.”
Verdict: Thanks for the offer, but I’m certain the actors are not a big fan of being accidentally repurposed into a living, screaming howitzer payload. Come to think of it, this could probably be made into a torture device. Just strap a person to the bonnet, then let them feel the open 300 km/h air until they talk. Oh what am I talking about, I think I’m rambling again. (binned)
@Caligo - JKPM Tokachi D-Type
There’s no other way to say it. This is a pickup truck. However it is actually a highly modified pick up truck. While the frame is still a lot like a pickup truck, this has sports car independent rear suspension and a powerful engine.
2.8-litre Inline 4 engine with 5 valves per cylinder lurks under the bonnet. All 232 horsepower is right at the top end and the gearing is nice and short. This is actually a lot of fun to drive, believe it or not. Big sports tyres means that it can handle the road much better than the body style suggested.
The interior is also very high quality. The material might not be exotic, but it is made very nicely. The stereo system is especially fab with great many buttons which does many functions. Don’t be fooled, however, as this is still very much a truck with a ride quality of one.
This truck will serve its purpose only to the people who understand it. The truck works well as a truck, and it is closer to a truck than a car. If you can accept that this is a very nice expensive toy to play with.
“So, basically it’s an ordinary truck, but decorated with sporty bits.”
“And the engine vibrates like an earthquake too. That’s going to be fun for high speed driving.”
Verdict: It might be highly-modified, but it’s still a truck. (binned)
@On3CherryShake - Kazume Xenia 3.3
A rather excellent looking family saloon car finished in nondescript gray colour. It’s a premium top of the range model of a typical family car, so how does it compare to a pure sports oriented models?
It doesn’t turn as good for a start, this is front wheel drive with 3.3-litre V6 engine producing 212 horsepower. It understeer a lot like a safe family car would do. Especially with automatic gearbox this car offers effortless commute more than heart on fire dynamics. It’s quick enough, but the handling is just about stiffen up family car so there’s nothing that will help it fight against the sports car.
When you get inside you’ll find that this is a plush car. Nicely trimmed with good stereo system and a voice box that tells you which door is ajar or how loud the radio is. It’s kind gimmicky but fun and can mesmerised kids very well. It’s a superbly comfortable ride and would be great for everyday commute.
And this is our opinion on it, great family saloon, not exactly sports car rival. Despite with the right people being able to embarrass many of the much faster cars, it’s not exactly going to be the one to use on the weekends. It’s affordable though, but not really when you consider it to be a commuter.
James’ Verdict: “The car plays it safe by being entirely civilized and road-legal. The comfort is really great and I’m a big fan of its looks, but I believe it has better chance as a backup/sidekick car rather than a hero car.”
D: “Weren’t you looking for a new car recently?”
J: “I am, and I know just what to choose now.”
@CC9020 - Saito Akira Razgriz
This is a futuristic looking sports saloon that present what’s to come for the 1990’s. Decently fast, refined, comfortable.
440 horsepower on tap, lumpy idle and huge turbo. Due to not having locked differential this car doesn’t accelerate all that well. But once it’s off the line the rate it accelerate improves drastically. To drive, this car is not the stiffest or firmest of the lot, it’s actually quite soft and wallowy. It also doesn’t have the best turn in yet the tail end would come out to say hello anytime you hit boost, which always will be late.
The interior is decent quality, the stereo is nothing special. But because the ride is soft it is a relatively comfortable car. There’s also traction control which is useful when it’s doing one tyre fire.
All in all, if you don’t think the shape is weird. It could be a viable option for someone who wants a fast and comfortable long hauler.
J: “What do you think about this car?”
J: “Excellent answer.”
D: “Wha? But I was just–”
J: “Too late. Next!”
Verdict: Aside from the looks, there’s not much else on the car that’s worth looking at. Not the best comfort, not the best handling, perhaps average acceleration. There are other, better cars aside from this. (binned)
@Crash77 - Concord LaCampeli Elonta GTS
J: shuffles through folders and magazine pages “That’s weird, I can’t seem to find any magazine article regarding this particular car.”
D: “It should be in ‘C’, try it out.”
J: “‘C’, ‘C’, hmmm… Oh, I found it. It’s not an article, but seems to be a copy of a complaint letter.”
D: “Let me have a look at it.”
Your car, the LaCrapeli, got me into a lot of problem, from motoring accident to dealing with the police.
But before we get to that, let me start with the car: The gearbox. It is a five speed manual, but the first gear is so damn long I wonder why the hell does the car even bother having five of them. As a result, the car is hellishly slow to accelerate.
And the engine! It’s a 4.8L V8, but it screams like a crying baby and it vibrates like my apartment building whenever the neighbor next door holds a rave party.
And now for my biggest complaint: Turns out, it’s illegal for a car to have turning lights near the center of the car. One time I nearly got rear-ended by an oncoming traffic that yelled at me to “use my indicator”. Which begs me the question of how was this car street legal in the first place.
I want to hear what you say regarding this mishap, preferably in front of the judge. Better prepare a darn good team of lawyers, pal.
J: “Wow, it does look illegal.”
@NoahC - Yinzer PullOver
D: “What is this car? It’s like a '70s car that tries too hard to look young.”
J: “While the Opulence is a tasteful reimagination out of an old body, this one is just old.”
Binned for over 50 engine loudness.
@NiuYorqCiti - Ponni Menace
D: “Yet another muscle car. Really, after a lot of bad muscle cars on the previous entries, this kind of cars just lose their taste in my mouth.”
J: “I suppose we can at least read the review for it.”
With a name like “Menace” you’d expect a trouble maker. And this car certainly gives out that vibe from its restrained but sporty design. Subtle touches to remind you that this is a naughty boy.
6.4-litre V8 and 400 horsepower. This is almost a stereotypical muscle car. But when you start it, this car is quieter than you’d expect from such a machine. A nice noise, I must say, but quiet. It boasts that the first gear ended at 62 miles an hour and it can spin it’s wheel for the entirety of that. Nice.
To drive, this thing understeer quite a lot until you punch it. In which case it tries to oversteer. The tyres are massive at the back for good traction, but it won’t steer like a finely tuned European sports car. Does that even matter? We aren’t sure. We do think that it rides very comfortably and it has excellent sound system.
It’s cheap too, which fits in with the Muscle car image. This is a great buy for somebody who’s looking to cause some trouble. Not that we endorse that of course.
Verdict: Its name fits what it offers on the table. Drives within reasonable boundaries, but that much power delivered to the back means that it’s quite tail-happy on the corners. Is it fast? Hell yes. Is it safe? Absolutely. Is is attractive? Ehh, maybe. Will it be competitive enough against the others? Likely not. (binned)
@LS-Vehicles - LSV Privateer
This car is not a car. It’s a plinth. It’s as long as a bus and yet as low riding as a finely crafted sports car. We reckon it’s absolutely terrific looking and also terrifying prospect to navigate through our tiny streets.
First thing to note that this is a pure, unadulterated, wafting cruiser. The engine is silky smooth with almost no noise at all. The gearbox is smooth, the suspension is smooth, the interior is like being in the womb. All of this for a very tiny amount of money compared to many of its rival.
The issue is that there’s always a trade off with such vehicle. It turns well enough for non spirited driving, but it’s not much else. You can provoke oversteer maybe if it has horsepower, but it’s only 270hp in a 1,700kg unit of a car. This is a lot of car for the money, a performance car it isn’t.
But that’s the thing, this is A LOT of car. It’s huge, and it does a lot of things very well that it can easily embarrassed more expensive alternatives. We recommends getting a look at one first before discarding it as a piece of American excess. Land Yachting is fun as long as it’s not in the narrow side street.
D: “Man is this a beaut. Check out that C-pillar, it’s almost like the car is going for an unbroken line of black.”
J: “SWAN. Is this some sort of tuner house?”
D: “I’m not sure, but there’s one thing I’m sure about: I want this in my garage.”
J: looks at Donny for a second “You and your love for big cars.”
Donny’s Verdict: It’s slower than its competition, but damn does it look good while being so. I’d personally daily this car, but Gecko? He deserves something faster.
@Elizipeazie - Keika Tekko FlexTape Edition
D: "A black and white car? What is this, a ride for mimes?
J: "That’s just how Keikas are made.
D: "Oh. Weren’t they the ones that made cheap and light sport cars in the past? And now they built a performance sedan.
J: “Quite the turn of event, innit. Let’s read what the magazine review has to say.”
“What is flex tape?” We asked Keika. They responded that it’s the latest technology in adhesive material that makes everything better. Me neither.
The Tekko FlexTape is another divisive design. But its performance is definitely not shabby at all. 320 horsepower with nearly 1,600kg might not resulted in the fastest car in the world, but it’s adequate for a sports saloon. It has a compliant suspension set up, and a decent road holding too. The interior is made of quite high quality material and with great stereo system that reminds you this is a qutie expensive car.
The issue? For Keika fan this will not be familiar to them at all. It’s actually felt solid and composed. Heavy, almost. It’s soft and safe. This is all wheel driven and can be driven very fast no matter the terrain. Is this really a Keika? The badge certainly suggested that it is.
Overall, this is an incredibly good car. If you like its styling, then we cannot think of a reason why you shouldn’t get one.
D: “So, what do you think?”
J: “For one, that side graphics is an eye-catcher. I see potential in it being a great performer.”
D: “I’m not into that…”
J: “C’mon, it’s a good car! The performance is not that bad, and the handling too!”
D: “You know what? Screw it. It’s in, but I’m going to be mad if it’s actually bad.”
J: “I can assure you, you won’t regret it.”
J: * secretly rubs a ‘Keika Fan Club’ badge hidden behind his shirt collar* “Yeeeesssssss.”
Verdict: The Flextape game is strong in this one, and it’s unironically a great car, if a bit tame. (considered)
@LordLetto - IDPC
We aren’t quite sure what to make of this. It’s a 1.1-litre mid engined barge made of fibre glass.
It’s slow, it doesn’t turn, it’s uncomfortable and it’s ugly. It’s also very expensive for what you’d get. We decided to not bother driving it at all as there doesn’t seem to be any point to this. Sorry.
Verdict: It’s all kinds of wrong and provides more questions than solutions. (binned)
@Detsikeulii - Birch Arrowhead
Have we seen this front end before? We are not sure at this point. We have to say the Birch Arrowhead is a very handsome machine which promises great things. Let see if it can delivers.
It promises to be a decent fun driver with singy Inline 6 engine, but it produce only 231 horsepower which in the companies that it’s with, isn’t much. The acceleration is decent however due to all wheel drive system and low weight. The interior is also quite nice, with sporty alcantara and excellent stereo system.
The issue is, despite its billing as a sports saloon, it actually doesn’t turn all that well. The AWD system is not that sophisticated either. But it rides well, and it feels good. And isn’t that all we’re looking for in a car?
If you want a comfortable car that’s going to be fun and reliable, also decently fast. You have to pay a decent price for it. But it is a great package overall despite not really being all that quick. It looks good and it sounds good. A good daily driver, just don’t expect to win races with it.
J: “It looks like an ordinary car.”
D: “So, can it be of any use? Like a prop car, perhaps?”
J: “Nah, don’t think so. A prop car would need to handle poorly and not powerful. This one, it’s neither.”
D: “So it’s a hero car.”
J: “Not quite a hero car either. This one is just okay. Looks pretty comfortable, though.”
Verdict: Fits riiiight into the average crowd. There are cars that perform better than this.
(Continued in part 4 because I’m tired of writing and character limit is a )
i have to inform you that things have changed since Anhultz bought Keika in 1978
they slowly have been (more or less willingly) pushed to be a mainstream sports-car manufacturer.
the pure-bred sports cars are still focused on weight tho.
The Tekko is mostly a marketshare cash-grabber from the Nissan GTR lol
F to the 440 hp Soarer sedan
also like my 15th CSR without a second round agghhhh
Binned, but with comfort and dignity. I’ll take it.
Yeah… not the best marketing strategy… or taillight design…
If anyone wants an illegal car that doesn’t exist:
CSR 99 - Crash77 - Concord LaCampeli Elonta GTS.car (47.0 KB)
Very enjoyable round, though! Can’t wait to see who wins!
Thanks for putting much effort in the reviews.
Although you should have told that it’s a copshow car, in this case I wouldn’t have build a “true” detective car but also an expensive fancy large coupe with turbo V8.
Nevertheless, the review of the L43 considered it a good car for “real” cops. I mean, it even has a donut holder on the dash!