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CSR117: Rumble in the Bronx


I’ve also never gotten this far in a CSR before. I knew this round would be tough


Final Part: Papa Fuerte’s New Ride

The sun was setting and the end was in sight. Back in the office, Papa Fuerte tossed back the last of his shot before settling back in his chair with his folder of photos. The list had been narrowed down and by any and all means he was going to make his decision before the sun was down so he could resume his role as the guardian spirit of the Bronx. That was his purpose above nearly all else.

So which of these eight cars was it to be?

The first thing to note was that most of the cars were very similarly priced, with the one exception of the Pusilanime, which was much cheaper. And when it came to the overall experience, that was also a more visually striking car than the Contra and just generally slightly better… except the Contra was an absolute workhorse compared to anything else. But otherwise, as the weakest of the bunch the Contra just had to be dropped.

This really should have meant that the Pusilanime should be dropped too but it was really quite stunning. Papa would figure that one out later.

Next then would have to be the Silver-York. The combination of the full size engine and the smaller body proved to be trickier than anticipated and it came with most of the complications and few of the advantages.

Not sure where to look next, there were some similarities between the two great barges, the Innis Evergreen and the Elwood King Brillare. They both hit some strong notes in the styling department, but in all the things that really mattered, the Innis came out on top and for cheaper, too, so that definitely meant the Elwood was out of contention. But then again the Innis was also quite sluggish at going and more importantly stopping. And when they were both put up against the other big barge, the Edelgard, that was just technically superior again. So it seemed unlikely that the Elwood would come out on top.

Now big was beautiful, but a few of the smaller cars really showed their stuff: the LMC and the Mondo. Both looked great in their own right, and were right up the top of the charts when it came to comfort. The Mondo was more practical and economical, but it also felt weird to have an inline 6 that was significantly more expensive. On the other hand the LMC was a 2 door and was slightly thirstier, but it made the best of its format and attributes by being one of the few front-wheel drive cars, meaning it was very easy to pilot. It was too close to call, but, well, when these two cars looked this good and they were both so much more the complete package than the Pusilanime, it became finally clear that the Pusilanime would come off third best against these two.

Ultimately then there were three choices. Would it be the big barge Edelgard that just seemed to do everything right? Or the LMC that drove quite a bit better? Or the Mondo that was the comfiest of the lot and had the most distinctive styling?

Put like that the Mondo had the fewest advantages and was actually a bit over budget, so with a pang of sadness Papa Fuerte scratched it off the list. He then briefly considered flipping a coin as the last vestiges of the sun’s rays peeked over the smoky skyline, but no, it was to be done properly.

This was a round of past versus present versus future, and the car that captured his heart, and the times, and was also the easiest on his back and his posterior… Papa Fuerte picked up the phone and started dialing.

“Good evening mi amigo, yes it’s your one and only Papa Fuerte haha. Could you get your boys to deliver the LMC to my office pronto…”

Congratulations to ChickenBiscuit for winning this round! Ultimately it was by a hair’s breadth as Xepy had done little short of miraculous work to make a car as good as that using just about all of the disadvantageous traditional methods. It’s damn well near optimised too. But the LMC’s masterstroke was using FWD. Yes, it will be controversial because it was using much fancier parts and a transverse FWD V8 is a very rare thing. The Eldorado that Papa Fuerte had previously driven was a longitudinal V8 and I don’t even think that was an option offered here for the most part, and I did previously advise that you can’t try to pretend that the game is doing things that it isn’t (albeit I consider this not to be on the scale of what was previously attempted as discussed earlier…)

But V8 and FWD did exist in the 70s, and in this case somehow it was made to work so far and above beyond what I expected that I had no choice but to be impressed.

This means that the rankings are as follows:

8th- Spot (AfterDark3)
7th- ProfessorP3PP3R
6th- MGR_99 & Ryan93
5th- yangx2
4th- Maxbombe
3rd- Ezdmn
2nd- Xepy
1st- ChickenBiscuit

This concludes CSR117. That was one hell of a mixup!


Oh wait I forgot to show my working. Here’s the sheet with all the stats. A couple of the engine volumes may be a bit wrong as I discovered halfway that the UI doesn’t always display correctly depending on which tab you look at…


Holy moly, Not gonna lie I wasn’t expecting to get that close to the top! GG indeed to all the entries, it was a close fight :slight_smile: Congrats to Chickenbiscuit for the win!

PS: with the holidays coming to a close and the semesters coming up fast, I’m not expecting to have much time to host if neither Xepy nor CB step up to it. That means a no.


I’m a dunce for going Twin Carb and 3 way cats…
Such an effort to make that car all went down the drain because I couldn’t endure the massive torque death :joy:


Oh wow, I completely did not expect to have my car up there at all, not to mention being that close! Guess not knowing a lot about this type of car beforehand and basically putting only what I researched in paid off lol. Congrats Chickenbiscuit!

Also, I will be out of town in the middle of nowhere kinda next week so I will not be able to host if CB passes it on.


If I am not mistaken, this is his first CSR win ever, or at least in a long time - and rightly so. He managed to combine a transverse FWD layout with a V8 much more convincingly than I thought.

Anyway, this was one of the most memorable rounds we have ever had, and definitely a tough act to follow, even with CB hosting the next round - but I hope it will be as fun as this one.


Woo! I did not expect to get far let alone win :smile: Thanks strop for hosting and typing up one of the funniest bin sessions ever! I’ll have to think a min if I want to host.

following up chips and strop as hosts…

Ok ill commit, I can try hosting next round.


Dang, mine was the heaviest of the lot! :stuck_out_tongue:

Congrats chickenbiscuit - a well deserved win for a nicely designed car.


Given how long it was since my last CSR entry, I’m not sad that I got as far as I did.