John calling Mark on the nearest payphone to him.
John:
“Marky-boy, get over here, I got 10 cars you might like”
Mark:
“I don’t need 10”
John:
“That’s why you need to get over here so we can find the best one out of the lot”
Mark:
“Alright I’m there”
Mark arrives to Jones Garage after 30-odd minutes
Mark:
“Shit, I don’t think I’ve ever been here before.”
John:
“I’ve only been here a couple, can’t say I’m super familiar with this place.”
John notices in the corner of his eye a familiar car, but doesn’t bring it up.
Mark:
“So, what have you got lined up for me?”
John:
“10 cars that fit the criteria, not sure if all are that good to be honest.”
Mark:
“Okay I’ll be the judge of that.”
10th @HighOctaneLove
Bogliq Baroness 440-6
John:
“Well would you look at this…”
Mark:
“I’d prefer not to. Who ever designed this didn’t really try”
John:
“Let’s hear the motor”
Mark:
“A bit on the loud side, how reliable are these things?”
John:
“It's not terrible, but from what I saw, this is the worst out of this group. You know what, see that straight? Punch it.”
Mark:
“Not bad, get’s up to speed at a good pace and look at all this padding all over, not shabby.”
John:
“Yeah, it’s not so bad on the safety part…. Maybe even the brakes, tho I don’t believe it, if it’s bullshit we are ourselves knee deep in shit.”
John:
“How can a car be this big be this uncomfortable?
Mark:
“Yeah…. Let’s get out of this thing.”
Good 0-100 (7.1s), okay loudness (33.7), lowest reliability in this group (56.1), braking distance is way too good for such a car (41m), heaviest car in this group, which is more of a good thing than a bad one, missing some details such as door keyholes and antennas, good drive ability (31).
9th @GassTiresandOil
Armor Streethawk
Mark:
“I think I’ve seen on of these, is it a…., wait, it’s on the tip of my tongue. I think it started with a P.”
John:
“No, this one strats with A. Anyway, let’s get in it.”
Mark:
“Wooo-wee, nice and big, what are the specs on this?”
John:
“It’s a monster, a little hard to believe it. 0-60, 6.5 seconds, insane brakes and it’s very light.”
Mark:
“Light? Ehhh, it’s gonna be a big beer can when things get heated.”
John:
“Wanna try the brakes?”
Mark:
“They seems too good to be true, I don’t wanna end up in a tree due to their bullshit claims.”
Mark:
“What’s the reliability like?”
John:
“it’s alright, it’s a little loud, or is it just me… shit is it me or is the car sagging?
Mark:
“Yeah, kinda, you know I think I want something else.”
Brake pad type too sporty (63), with that the braking distance is very unrealistic (38.4m), very good 0-100 (6.5s), lightest car in the group (1562kg), the springs are weak (332kg load), slightly high loudness (33.5), okay reliability (57.1), good price (20700) and average drivability (31).
8th @chichicoofisial
Santuario - 6.4-8
Mark:
“Wow, look at this thing.”
John:
“You like it? Thought this was a little too old man for you”
Mark:
“Nah, I’m getting excited let’s get in it.”
Mark:
“look at all that padding, god damn, this is nice, I guess this is what they call safety.”
Mark:
“What’s the 0-60 on this anyway?”
John:
“7.7 seconds and it’s front wheel drive…. Oh and it looks like they are bullshitting about the brakes as well a little.”
Mark:
“Let’s see how it drives…”
Mark approaching a corner hot
John:
“SLOW DOWN MAN”
Mark slams on the brakes
The Santuario stops a meter before a tree
Mark:
“This FWD thing isn’t working for me.”
John:
“At least this has stellar fuel economy…”
Mark:
“Let’s go finds something else.”
Very low driveability for a FWD (29), FWD is not preferable, handling is quite poor, great weight (1763.1kg), slow (7.7s), fantastic economy (19.4l), average reliability (58.1), very safe (47.2), good comfort (27.7), brakes are a very good for the time, but possibly just a bit too good (49.8), good price (20800).
7th @EnCR
Avantii Relpaula 72 facelift
Mark:
“Quite the undercover car”
John:
“Thought you might like it.”
Mark:
“Yeah, not bad, not bad. Doesn’t have much of a presence but doesn't look too bad either. Let’s check it out.”
John:
“Well, isn’t that what you want?”
Mark:
“Yeah I guess.”
John:
“Not terribly comfortable, is it?”
Mark:
“Not terribly fast either.”
Mark:
“it’s got good brakes and it’s cheap, that’s great but isn’t enough.”
Mark:
“Y’know, this doesn’t drive that well either, yeah… this won’t do.”
Very low comfort (13.1), low side on driveability (28.8), decent fuel economy (23.3l), okay loudness (33.1), good safety (39.7). Pretty slow (7.7s), average reliability (58.9), realistic suspension settings wise, okay weight (1633kg), very cheap (18400) and good, realistic braking distance (51.9m), but brake pads are too sporty.
6th @CriticalSet9849
Morton Venery 363
Mark:
“Oooh yeah, nice!”
John:
“First impressions?”
Mark:
“Looks fly, I’m digging the looks, let’s get in.”
Mark:
“Feels good man.”
John:
“Yeah, comfortable, good safety on these too and great reliability.”
Mark:
“I like the sound of this car, let’s see how she performs.”
Mark tests the 0-60 on the Venery.
Mark:
“Well that’s a bit disappointing and it feels too light.”
John:
“Shame.”
Great car, super cheap (18200), realistic braking if not more on the bad side (56.5), good comfort (23.4), fantastic reliability (59), slightly below average drivability (30.9), good safety (39.6), however low 0-100 (7.7s) and quite light (1563kg).
5th @Conan
BKOO Senner 427 UltraSport
Mark:
"Off the bat, not sure about this one, the white and yellow is a bit much, even for me."
John:
"Now that saying something, let
s get in and talk about what makes it good."
Mark:
"Hey, I'm not saying it's ugly, looks decent, but yeah let's talk about what's important. Let me turn on the engine. "
John:
"You can hear it somewhat well, and look it's not that incredibly safe either, you know what, give it some gas, see what she goes like."
Mark:
Alright, alright, not a bad launch, let's see how she goes around the bends....... oooh yeah, this ones good, but not sure if that's going to keep me alive in a chase that goes sour."
John:
Not only that, but the brakes are also on the BS spectrum, don't get where they are getting these numbers from."
Lowest safety of the group (36.2), great acceleration (7.1s), below average reliability (57.8), unrealistic braking distance for the time (43.1), Top-tier drive ability (36.4) and higher than average price (22300).
4th @Spot
Contra Montegro
Mark:
"Woah, this ones interesting, it's like a bit of both, a Muscle car and an Undercover car."
John:
"Yeah, something like that, fly as things go."
Mark:
"What's it like anyway?"
John:
"Get in, start her up and you'll find out."
Mark:
"ooooh, wow, it's so quiet and look all this padding, god must be safe like a tank."
John:
"Oh yeah, and it's got the best reliability of all these cars, only thing is, it kinda drives like crap and the brakes are bordering on bullshit."
Mark:
"Whaat? Shit let me find that out for myself. ...... Well, shit, it's got decent acceleration, however the driving leaves much to be desired..... Eh, you win some, you lose some."
Quietest car of all (28.3), above average safety (44.1), decent 0-100 (7.5s), best reliability (59.6), brakes are a bit too much for the era (49.1m), worst drive ability of all cars (27.3) and above average price (22700).
3rd @Xepy
Edelgard Wyvern GTS 426 Firestorm
Mark:
“This one looks…. Interesting. Funky, quite good to be honest, just a little different.”
John:
“Yeah man, I get what you are saying, let’s get in and I’ll fill you in on this 334 horse-power pony.”
Mark turns on the engine
Mark:
“Can definitely hear it, but it isn’t loud. Pretty nice, what’s the reliability with this?
John:
“Pretty good, and it’s brakes are damn good plus it’s above average with it’s safety.”
Mark:
“Can definitely feel it, wonder how she runs.”
Mark:
“Well, not bad. She's got good poke, drives alright, shit I don't know if I have anything really bad to say about this ride. Let's check the rest."
Slightly above average loudness (32.6), above average safety (42.2), good acceleration (7.4s), about average reliability (57.9), slightly above average cost (21600), good drive ability (31.5).
@abg7
MAD Corsair GTE
Mark:
“Ooh, that’s very nice, can’t say it’s drop dead gorgeous or anything, but it's understated but powerful looking,”
John:
“Yeah, they’ve improved the styling on these over the years, always been a safe bet as a car goes.”
Mark:
“Right on. Let’s get in and you tell me more.”
John:
“Shit, I don’t have the keys for this one with me…… erm, let’s go to the next one, we’ll come back to this later on.”
Average safety(41.6), a great 0-100 (7.1), below average reliability (57.8), unrealistic braking distance for the time (40.1), average price (21200), average drive ability (31.6), but very good loudness (30.7) and fantastic fuel economy (19.5l/100km)
@donutsnail
Turból Centurion Gladiator 420
Mark:
“OOOOHHH SHIIT HAaaa!”
Mark:
“Look at that! Goddam that looks fly.”
John:
“Not super undercover is it?”
Mark:
“Naw man, look, see it doesn’t have chrome, no one will suspect me.”
John:
“I see.”
Mark:
“Let’s get in, I can’t wait to drive it.”
John:
“Shit I don’t have keys for this either, I’ll go get em from Jones office.”
Mark:
“Heh”
Average loudness (31.5), slightly below average safety (41.1), very good 0-100 (6.9), well above average reliability (58.9), decent and realistic braking distance (53.9), highest costs out of the group (23700), fantastic styling and Top-tier drive ability (36.4).
John goes to pick up the keys for the Gladiator and Corsair at Jones Office
He finds the keys in a drawer along with a couple sheets of car names, their prices and clients for them.
John:
“No way…”
John looking further into what he’s found, sees that every reported stolen car from the past year is in this list.
Footsteps enter the office.
Jones shows up behind John with a briefcase in his hand.
Jones:
“John, what are you doing here?”
John:
“Picking up a couple of keys, man.”
Jones opens the briefcase and pulls out a gun and points it at John
Jones:
“John, I want you to throw those keys to me, NOW!
John:
“Jeezus man, alright!”
John throws the key he had in his right hand.
Jones picks up the key and runs towards the Corsair.
Mark is peeking through the window of the Gladiator while waiting on John
John running towards Mark’s direction.
John:
“MARK! CATCH!”
John throws the keys to the Gladiator to Mark
Mark catches the key looks over and sees Jones speeding off in the Corsair
Mark:
“What’s going on?”
John:
“I’ll explain later, GET IN AND GO AFTER HIM!”
The V8 roars into life
John:
“Jones looks to be behind this whole car theft ring, also explains how he got so many cars here.”
Mark:
“That’s enough info for me, gotta catch this bastard.”
The Gladiator peels out of the garage at max throttle
The Gladiator catches up to the Corsair quickly due to it’s faster 0-60.
Jones tries to lose Mark and Jones at a corner, the Corsairs better handling gets Jones through the corner quickly.
Mark:
“fuck this, short cut”
Mark goes over the curb and drives through the park
Jones looks back and doesn’t see Mark
As he passes the park the Gladiator slides out
The Gladiator gives it all it’s got as Mark hits the gas and hit’s the Corsair in the rear.
Jones gets squirrely, having difficulty getting it back straight
The road is blocked from two directions
Jones tries to make the right turn
He slides the Corsair sideways into a pole
Mark:
”I guess we have found my new car.”
John:
"It might need a new front bumper tho."
Congratulations donutsnail, you have won CSR120 with your Turból Centurion Gladiator 420!
From @MGR_99 and @Ryan93, we thank you for entering our challenge!
I'm hungry and exhausted from this csr stuff, I'm gonna go eat, then sleep. I'll await and criticisms and salt tomorrow :)
