Sorry for keeping you all waiting! Only 3 hours after the deadline and I have the prelims done. Some really crazy and fun ideas here, but unfortunately a lot of repition (Looking at you, AWD sport-ish wagons). Anyway, here we go.
In an old garage, somewhere in Fruinia.
A young man sits at a desk, flicking through brochures. He mumbles to himself, “Well, I’ve given these enough thought, time to narrow this down.”
He grabs one at random. Not that it mattered, the order had been messed up and he didn’t care enough to go through chronologically.
“First of all, which ones will keep me out of jail?”
Anhultz Ganimede - Elizipeazie
“What do we have here then? Anhultz Ganimede? Doesn’t look like much. Not fast, doesn’t turn. But pretty tough, could be useful to bust through roadblocks. If a long enough road exists to get it up to speed here… Pass.”
Sinistra Savage UltraSport - Madrias
“Sinistra Savage UltraSport… Subtle. Looks are… questionable. But that’s a V10. 184MPH and 5.5 seconds to sixty are numbers I like to see. Apparently corners well too. I’ll keep it.”
DiMarino Cuneo Turbo - abg7
“DiMarino Cuneo Turbo? Sounds fancy. It has some decent enough speed to hold off the cops, and… That handling is amazing. 1.1g is pretty rare, and 1.08 in the high speeds? That’s a yes.”
Evgenis Valkyrie 2.0T XLine - Cheeseman
“Oh, one of these. Valkyries seem to be everywhere, apparently sell really well. Good for blending in. 51MPG is good if I can sit at high speed, and looks easy to drive. And what’s this? Some off roading capabilities? Keeper.”
Viktria Pistos [B]iesel - Chipskate
“Is… Is this a Craigslist ad? For an old Taxi? Do they still make these? I guess I can fix it up to make it less distinctive. How does it go? 4.7 seconds to 62? AWD. It’s insane, but could work? I won’t rule it out just yet…”
Tishillyman Sasa TG - Conan
“It’s got three coke bottles for cylinders, but can at least do some acceptable speeds. 60MPG is no joke either, doesn’t seem as easy to drive as the other ecobox, but 1.09g is good cornering. I’ll check it out.”
Albion - Corsair - Escape - Dinkley
“6.5 to 62, 147MPH. That’s good. Handling is better than average. This is just about acceptable, nothing else about it stands out. Seems like some better stuff similar to it will come later. Pass.”
Kishiwo Katoya Wagon - just4
“Another ecobox? At least it’s trying to be. I don’t even recognise this, probably on the rarer side. Not fast either. It can go off-road at least, but I’d be scared about doing anything really crazy with it. No thanks.”
LLA M50X - LinkLuke
“A proper off-roader. Seems to have all the stuff I’d need to cross mountains, and has the strength to attack anything that follows in tight areas. This is good, something unique. I’ll hold onto it.”
Epoch - Bear SC - Machalel
“A big van that runs like a battering ram. Once you start, you really won’t stop. Pretty popular utility vehicle, so a few hiding spots. And can go off-road, at least to some degree. 8 seconds 0-62 isn’t terrible. 120MPH is limiting, but still possible to escape. I have a feeling some better tanks are gonna show up later though, so I’ll pass.”
Americar Executive 1500 - nerd
“15.5L… Pushrod… V12… Truly is the Americar. I think I threw up slightly reading that. And holy mother of torque steer, it’s front wheel drive. How does anyone get 0-62 in 6.7 seconds in this. 168MPH is good, could sit on the highway as an unstoppable boat. This could be a wildcard. Keeping this.”
CSM Pressa - Nicking HC
“It has some off-road capacity, but that’s all I get from this. No crazy speeds. No great fuel economy. It’s a compromise. No thanks.”
RCM Carabine Sport - thecarlover
“This is… A thing. Not even an off-roader, just kinda tough. All I see flashing lights and jail bars coming from this. Pass.”
Albatross 420 - ZSCHMEEZ
“Fast in a straight line. Pretty good in the turns. Seems like a decent enough package. And actually pretty tough for something this quick. Awesome, keeping it.”
HRM Lay-Z-Boi Concept - HardRooster
“Weird concept van huh? Looks kinda fast, 160MPH is great, and seems like it’ll be tough as nails. Seems like the tank for me.”
Excelsior Pulmino Veloce - strop
“An Italian sports van. Advertising it’s used by getaway drivers. Well I bet that won’t make the police instantly suspicious of me or anything. Maybe it’s some weird marketing thing to get arrests up, whatever. 0-62 is 4.9 seconds, 155MPH, fantastic handling, and yeah, these are popular all around here. A definite yes.”
Birmingham SCV - DukeOFhazard
“It’s pretty quick for a big van, can certainly outrun that Laz-Z-Boi thing. But it doesn’t have the strength that the other had, so I think I’ll have to pass on this.”
Aeros Router MkIII GT - Echowaffle8
“A decently quick wagon, but it’s nothing special really. I’ve seen a load of these already, and this doesn’t have anything amazing over them. Pass.”
Bogliq Slyde Entrance - HighOctaneLove
“It’s slower than the last wagon, and again, nothing special elsewhere. Sorry six eyes, you’ve gotta go.”
JHW Xrosstec 3.2 Sport - JohnWaldock
“Big SUV. Not much off-road ability. Slow on road. It’s heavy, sure, but nothing outstanding. Bye-bye.”
EcaMobile-Chipleader Sport - Mikonop7
“It’s a big SUV again. Not an amazing off-roader. It’s over 2000KG, so it has some pushing power, but not that strong. Nope.”
Kiriminas 22W - VicVictory
“Does 22W refer to the power output? Over 10 seconds to 60! No thanks! It’s light, not a good off-roader, and otherwise lacking everywhere. Pass.”
TSR Kazuma Turbo S - Aaron.W
“Another wagon that does 0-62 in under 6 seconds and does over 150MPH. Oh joy. But at least this one is actually pretty good handling. 1.06g in the corners is fun, for sure. I’ll keep it for now.”
The man smiled to himself, looking at his now considerably smaller pile of brochures. Some wacky stuff in here, for sure, but hopefully a good contender lies here.
I tried to judge as fairly as possible, this first round based on how good a car would escape. I tried to pick the best out of similar getaway style cars, but there was some surprisingly close competition. I know something this subjective may lead to some disagreements, but I think I did this fairly as I could. Getting on the finals ASAP!
