Doesn’t bother me any. Stretch that deadline, let 'em all in.
(This post is satire and intended to be in good fun/an appropriate reason to use the gif again.)
When you thought you had the sportiest car, then @strop enters.
Griffa Rogue V8
…is what happens when you match a little fun coupe with a 'Murican V8 powah.
5.8 litre pushrod V8, 221 hp, 0-62 MPH in 6.2s, 20 MPG (UK), premium interior, radio, power steering, 9950 $.
Well, I guess the deadline’s been extended, then
New deadline is Sunday March the 11th at 23:59 GMT
oh fuck yeah ok I’ll do my best to get it in today!
Now… do I submit the slightly sensible option that is quite well rounded, or do I send the option with the booooscht…
Update destroyed my CSR-66 car.
F for respect
You can send me a revision if you want, since it’s the patch that caused the issue
That applies to everybody else btw; if the patch screwed up the setup of your car, you’re allowed to submit one revision.
I have to check it. Thanks for remind me that
I’m really not sure where everything stands with this new update, it also did screw with my values and I don’t have time to really test build another 3 or 4 bodies. Besides, I was going to go with something lore because the company is British and I’m actively working on it. Also I haven’t fixed my PC yet, and every time I launch Automation my laptop inches closer to having a stroke. Therefore, have this amazing resolution screenshot because I also don’t have the time to take Lordred up on his kind offer to get better snaps.
Since its founding, Armada’s chief concern has always been delivering the most compelling drive. In a time of peak British sportscar, this was encapsulated in the swooping Berlinetta curves of the Talon. The base model, the 4S, seated four (at a stretch) and came with a radio. Equipped with a 2.2L inline 6 with a fancy new overhead cam system punching out over 150hp for its barely 1 metric ton, it sprinted to 60mph in under 8 seconds. But the real magic was in finely tuned independent suspension, giving it a responsiveness and liveliness beyond the bounds of its ample traction. At a base value of around $9600, it was quick, affordable, and most of all, oodles of fun.
Then, for the true Armada nuts, was the 2ST, the 2 seater version with the new turbo technology boosting power to almost 200hp. With more aggressive wheels, stiffer suspension and a downforce package, it was meant to be driven fast, dispensing with 60mph a whole second faster and gripping the corners harder at the cost of practicality, reliability and a bit of an extra price. Because anybody who loves Armada always contemplates going a little wild.
Strangely enough, given the brief as set out, it is likely the 4S that would suit the Fuzz Boys best: the balance of practicality, reliability, affordability, but most of all the right performance. Faster is good, yes, but the 2ST is a bit of a handful!
I’m sorry to be the one to say this and sound impatient, but will the results be up soon?
Sorry about the delay, writing the reviews took much longer than I thought. First round will be up VERY soon (like an hour or so).
Ah ok thanks for the update
The receptionist barely saw the back of Dick’s coat as he stormed through the entrance. The previous week had not ended like planned. Barely had he gotten through the door on the Friday morning before the fire alarm went off. As it turns out, some idiot intern at the company above them somehow managed to set a copying machine on fire. Thankfully the fire caused only a small amount of damage, but the fire brigade still closed down the building for the day for surveying damage.
“It could have been worse”, Dick thought, trying to calm himself as he entered his office, where he was greeted by a sizable stack of folders on his desk. At least his employees weren’t slacking during the week. He pulled out a folder from the pile at random and opened it.
Birmingham 2000 T-Top
The car displayed on the brochure colver was an orange coupe. He thought it kind of looked like an american sports car, except a bit smaller. The hood scoop and removable targa roof cemented the look. “Off to a good start”, he smiled to himself. Reading through the sales brochure he found that the car in fact did not have a two-litre engine as the name suggested, but rather a 3,5 litre V6 that apparently made 150 horsepower. It wasn’t even that expensive of a car. “That’s a decent candidate at least; hopefully it’ll be just as good in real life”, Dick said as he placed the folder to his right. He picked up another folder and looked through it.
FM HiWay GT2000
The next car looked even better than the Birmingham, despite the two paint colors not matching very well. The four-door sedan sported an aggressive-looking front end with quad headlights and a set of black minilite-like wheels. It was definitely a winner in the looks department. The performance unfortunately seemed a little underwhelming, at least on paper. The 116 horsepower the engine developed was barely more than the upcoming VW Golf GTi would have, and that was a much smaller car. Still, worth a look at least, thought Dick as he placed the folder on top of the Birmingham.
Conan C21 Twin Cam Turbo
The next car made the previous two pale in comparison. The base model was probably quite a looker already with its sleek two-door coupe shape, but this model with its hood bulges, split bumper with extra vent holes and- wait, that’s a turbo badge?? Like that BMW from a couple years ago? And for that price? Yes please!
Morton M20 Twin Cam
Like the C21 before this was also a two-door coupe with a similar shape, but that’s where most similarities ended. Aside from the rather pretty front fascia, it was almost like the designers forgot to put stuff on the car; it didn’t even have external bumpers. It wasn’t an ugly car, just… odd. The on-paper specs were more pleasing, though; despite only having five more horsepower than the FM HiWay, Morton claimed a 0-60 time of almost one second less, despite not being much lighter. Dick wondered what kind of magic they had to employ to pull it off. Either way, it could be an interesting candidate.
Pastijuni Motor Worx M3-ME1800
Dick found himself staring at what might be the strangest car so far: it was what looked like a less than tastefully restyled Porsche 911 with a set of massive (and ugly) three-spoke wheels. Dick couldn’t help but frown; something about the car was greatly offensive to him, but he couldn’t put his finger on what it was. A read through the brochure cemented its strangeness: this thing had a V12? And all-round drum brakes?? And center-locking wheels??? This had to be a joke; a skillfully done photo manipulation and falsarium. Whoever sent this in would get a stern talking to for wasting his time. Next!
JHW Intruder 1900 GT
This car was even more sparsely designed than the Morton - it didn’t even have side indicators! - and the few fixtures that the body had didn’t seem to mesh very well together. A shame, because the on-paper specs were very decent indeed. Too bad the looks didn’t match the performance.
Sinistra Sprint Turbo
The Sinistra was a very imposing car indeed, thought Dick, with its stacked headlights and massive grille. Even if it wasn’t picked as the main characters car, maybe it could star in an episode or two? And it had a turbo, too? Way cool!
Unfortunately, the spec sheet revealed that the car was way more bark than bite. Despite the turbocharger the car had the least power of the bunch and with its size there was no way the car was fast enough for their needs. Kind of a disappointment coming from the same company that built the bonkers 11-litre Savage.
Znopresk Z217 Sport
The sight of the airborne Znopresk brought a smile to Dicks face. The base Z217 was a nice looking car on its own, and the blackened out front fascia and sport wheels made for a more aggressive look. He did wish it was the coupe model, but the sedan looked alright, too. A look through the stats showed that the car more than matched its looks and for a very low price to boot. Definitely a great contender!
Montes Zender 3.0 GLX
As soon as Dick saw the Montes, he exclaimed “that’s it! That’s the car i wa-” He stopped mid sentence when he saw the price; the cheapest model was nearly a third more expensive than they could afford. Sure, the budget limit was only a suggestion, but bloody hell. He wished there was a poverty spec model since the car sure as hell looked the part, but alas.
HSR Jester V6
Another very attractive car. It had a similar two-tone paint job to the Morton, but the design was far more intricate with colored inlays in the grille with running lights and some badging. There were lots of details to look at. The cars power output compared to its engine displacement was a cause of concern, though; he wondered what had been done to the V6 to achieve those nearly 200 horses. It had to nearly be a race spec engine to achieve those numbers, which surely wouldn’t help drivability. Either way, he was definitely intrigued by the car. And with that, into the ever-growing “yes”-pile the folder went.
“BurgerFartsuck Kitchen? What??” Dick decided to not pay too much attention to the weird name and examined the car in the photo. The Hamburger Kitsch looked like a mixture between a hatchback and a fastback, with its combination of low rear end and dramatically sloping C-pillar. Weird, but a good weird. This car also had a turbo - two of them in fact. This was a bit concerning, as Dick wasn’t confident in the reliability of such a complex setup. The sales brochures mention of a twin four-barrel carburettor setup further convinced him that the car was too much of a risk, and so the brochure went into the bin.
Ardent Vizcaya GT V6
Compared to the Hammond Kitten the Ardent looked far more normal. That’s not to say it looked boring; in fact, it was a rather menacing looking sports coupe. The big (well, for European standards at least) V6 gave it some more than decent performance, too. “Wanna take a look at that, too” Dick said while adding it to the now rather big stack. He hoped there weren’t too many more cars left.
The Ausud was another one of those cars that didn’t look like anything he’d seen before. Like the abomination he had so unceremoniously rejected earlier it too had a similar roof line to a 911, but this one was actually pleasing to the eye. The tall front-end was dominated by a massive grille, and it wasn’t for the tell-tale vents over the rear fenders Dick could’ve sworn it was a front engined car. The engine layout itself was a cause for concern, though; Dick knew how treacherous the 911s could be with all that weight over the rear wheels, and this car had a V6 which would put said weight higher up. Whatever, that was Daniel’s call. As it was this was definitely an interesting car.
Bogliq Belfast RS
The next car was a nice-looking albeit very conventional (compared to Ausud at least) four-door sedan. Dick didn’t have much to say about it except that the front kind of reminded him of a Golf. The performance on the other hand was much more impressive; 0-62 in less than 8 seconds was quite brisk, indeed. Another one to check out, he thought.
This looked more like a hatchback than a sports coupe, and looked even stranger than the Hammock Carton. It looked more like something a housewife in a sitcom would drive. In other words, definitely not what he was looking for. And how do you build a turbocharged twin-cam straight six that makes less than 130 horsepower, anyway? Next car.
LLA Moth V6
The LLA looked very modern and refreshing, especially compared to the car before it, and with nearly 190 horsepower it had some go, too.
He started to worry a bit about the amount of cars. He hoped he had time to go through all of them.
Another coupe, a little similar to the Ardent except green, and VERY cheap. Sadly the performance didn’t quite match the looks, with the naturally aspirated inline four only producing 100 horsepower. With a turbo the car would’ve been much more interesting, thought Dick. As it was, though, into the bin it went.
A damn fine looking automobile, he thought. Really fine, in fact. Had Dick not heard about the low sales of this model he would have put it very high on his shortlist, but as it was now he wasn’t convinced the car would be in production for very long. It wasn’t without a little reluctance that he had to let the car go.
Komodo Inpiro S
“All the class at the right price” said the ad, and Dick had to agree. With its quad round headlights, big chrome grille and chrome stripe down the side the car certainly had its style. It also one of the faster cars so far with a top speed of over 130 mph - not that it mattered too much, but still. Yeah, he wanted that car, too.
FMU Pampero Coupe Ybarra
Another coupe, though this one used a rather unique body style with the rear wheels shifted very far back compared to the front door. A nice shape indeed. Sadly the body was let down by a pair of massive, horrible hood scoops, and the front being way too barren didn’t help either. “Seriously, those things would be excessive on a 60s american muscle car”, thought Dick.
BAM Paginza 622
This was another car that caused Dick to perk up. The Paginza was a very sleek sports coupe that almost looked Italian, even though he knew it was built by Germans. With its straight six engine it’d have some go power as well.
Bramble Goathland S
This was another car that looked kind of weird, and Dick wasn’t sure if he liked it. Most of the styling was nice, but the proportions were a little off and the front end looked like it came from some sort of eastern bloc car, and not the nice kind. He decided to pass on this car.
Caliban Type SC Infinity
If the BAM looked “a little Italian” this look “VERY Italian”. It was as if Alfa Romeo built a grand tourer, and the result was very pleasing. The car was the first one so far to have a V8, a rather potent 3.2-litre unit producing 190 horsepower. “This could definitely work”, Dick thought, as he placed the folder into the now quite massive stack on his desk. His garbage bin still remained rather empty.
Mont Royal Tennebonne Turbo
The Tennebonne Turbo was a sports… GT-hatchback? He wasn’t quite sure, but the result was rather sleek. The car had a twin-turbo V6 just like the Hollandaise Colander, but this one didn’t seem to have quite such an exotic fuel system, so maybe this one would be OK? He thought it was, so onto the pile it went.
Griffa Rogue V8
Even though the Griffa had a roughly similar shape to the Caliban, it took a very different approach to the styling. While the Type SC was subtly stylish, the Rogue was far more brash and flamboyant. It reminded Dick very much of a muscle car, for some reason. It certainly had a muscle car heart with its massive 5.8-litre V8 (seriously, was there any car in Britain with a larger engine, other than perhaps the Jensen Interceptor?). And for a decent price, too! Dick wondered if there were any compromises made in order to create such a package; at the moment, though, he thought it was worth the effort.
Armada Talon 4S
Dick suddenly found himself at the last folder. Thankful and a little tired, he opened it and was greeted by one of the best looking cars so far. The Talon was a masterfully executed blend of American muscle and Italian style, and Dick couldn’t help but marvel over the design. If the mechanicals were up to snuff, this could very well be their car. The brochure further increased his optimism, boasting a 0-60 time in 7.7 seconds. Yep, this could be exactly what they were looking for.
After taking a quick lunch, Dick sent his employees on their way to retrieve said cars. He hoped they’d be able to procure all of them by Wednesday.
What he didn’t know, however, was that among the cars he had spent the morning carefully picking out a stray sales brochure had somehow managed to find a place. A sales brochure featuring a certain bronze colored car, with its drum brakes peeking through the center-locking three-spoke wheels…
Part 2 coming tomorrow (hopefully), stay tuned!
Technically, the Savage doesn’t exist yet. It’s a late 1975 (would be Model Year 1976) at best. And you don’t want to know how awful it would’ve been if I’d managed to get one of those under 10k. However, for the purpose of the comment, I suppose it’s possible that Dick travelled to the Sinistra Headquarters in Nevada at some point and saw someone outright thrashing on a two-door V8 powered convertible. Would explain him knowing about the Savage and about what’s under the hood.
That said, it’s understandable. The Sprint was one of the only cars I could easily fit under the 10k mark without major modifications to the interior or the power-plant.
My bad, I thought the model was much older than that
I’m not good enough in english to understand this sentence, can you say it with other words? XD (google traduction says bullshit lol)
It means you’ve moved on to the 2nd round, Congrats.