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Go West Deathtrap Tour [FINISHED]



Team Cunning Stunts

They’re back with the Lucky Lady (in the alternate timeline where the EADC Vole became the Merciel Vitesse and became F-AWD)

-Stephie Smith: A 33 year old stuntwoman from California. Moved to Somerset 7 years ago for a more quiet life. Travels often to the US for her job as a stuntwoman. Married Lawrence in 2010. After winning the Roulette Runner, she went back to doing her job, however she felt the urge to compete in another Roulette Runner-eseque challenge. Back for the Deathtrap tour, she intends on winning this challenge.

-Lawrence Smith: Also a stuntman, Lawrence is 34 years old and is from Liverpool. Met Stephie in the UK after she moved to Somerset in 2010 and have been married ever since. After winning the Roulette Runner, he also wanted to participate in another challenge like it, but work got in the way. Currently on a break from his work, he’s decided to enter the Deathtrap tour, although is skeptical if the “Lucky Lady” could survive another beating.

-Alex Mitchell: Lawrence’s brother in law and Stephie’s younger brother. Aged 22, Alex came up with the team name, and is the team mechanic since he’s the only one with an engineering degree at Harvard. After the Roulette Runner, he went back to Harvard to finish his degree. After being called by his sister about this new tour, he jumped at the opportunity to join as the team engineer.

The “Lucky Lady” (1997 Merciel Vitesse 125)

After surviving the beating that was the Roulette Runner, the “Lucky Lady” is back. With most of the problems from the Roulette Runner sorted out, the car is ready to rock and roll (although the radiator fan does have a tendency to stick and most of the electronics are fucked.) With a plucky 1.8L Turbo i4 and 50/50 AWD, the “Lucky Lady” should have no problem tackling the terrain.

24 hour clunker challenge - FINAL RESULTS!

No, I’m a herpaderp and can’t count. It’s 76 total hours. There’s no set mandatory periods of rest, though I guarantee if you try to go straight through without sleep you WILL crash. Lol


Team Big Blue, Prologue

Kansas City, MO

Paul got up early after receiving a call from Steve. He immediately answered the phone and told the guy on the other end, “Who is this?”

To which Steve answered: “It’s your best bud, Stevie. Listen up, boy. Not so long ago, I tracked the progress of Team BAGS during the Kinda Grand Tour. It was fun, but the fact that they reached the finish line late left me a bit bummed. So considering that I’m best friends with them already, I don’t want you and your team to suffer the same fate as them. Considering that you’re a skilled driver, it would make perfect sense to drive Big Blue - the project car you’ve just bought for yourself - in this latest challenge.”

Paul’s reply was: “I’m definitely in. But I won’t be going unless we’ve brought along a few more team members.”

Steve responded: “I already have. I’ll rendezvous with you right here in Kansas City with two other men whose expertise might prove useful. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

And so Paul hung up, but not before saying “Thanks very much!” in an enthusiastic tone.

Two hours later, Steve showed up with two other men, and kindly told Paul, “Good morning, guys! We’re here to do what Team BAGS wanted to do but couldn’t - embark on another road trip on America’s highways. I’d like to introduce you to the rest of my crew, starting with Ash - he’s a master mechanic from Down Under, so he should be as tough as old boots. And this guy to my right? That’s Jeremy, an Englishman through and through. He’s here to know more about the American motoring landscape, something which he isn’t as familiar with as you are. But what about our ride? Well, here it is.”

He pulled off a car cover to reveal a dark blue four-door sedan. “See that thing over there? That’s what we’ll be driving - a '91 Rigel Motors RG5. It’s big and blue, hence our team name - Big Blue. Only three confirmed faults - a warped brake rotor, no fog lamps, and no cassette, although the radio works just fine. Everything else with the car is OK, which is quite unexpected given that it spent 10 years in the LAPD undercover fleet. I hope you’re fine with our choice of car. It’s time to hit the road, boys!”

As they made their way to the starting line, Ash asked, “It’s a V8 Yank tank all right, but somehow it’s not much of a land yacht, is it?” Jeremy’s answer was, “Not really. This is a monocoque car with independent rear suspension - no ladder frames here. Oh, and if you’re wondering about who I am, I’m Jeremy Bates, Brummie to the core and a veteran road tester. You can call me Jez if you wish. Listen, mate, I know this seems crazy, but I’ve never done anything like what we’re about to embark on in my whole life. It still sounds like fun, though - are you in?”

The four of them shouted, “We’re all in!” as they continued to approach the starting line. And so, Team Big Blue was poised to take on a challenge that wasn’t even meant for them, but had to enter anyway due to unforeseen events.


Day -2, 5:25am Home

Otis is cooking saussage, and hollers in the general directon of Jakes room, “Breakfast is almost ready!”

Jake walks into the kitchen and grabs a saussage right off of the skillit, “Explain to me again why we are leaving so early”

Otis, “Its about a 16 hour drive to Kansas City with stops, I figure we will make it in about 15”

Jake, “I get that part, but the race doesn’t start until Thursday, its Monday”

Otis, “Oh thats so we can get a chance to rest up from driving there, and scope out any potential competition”

Jake, “Considering this is a junker race I doubt we will be able to pick many out from the usual junkers”

Otis, “Dont just look at the cars, look at the drivers, besides like us they will probably be loaded with parts and supplies. Don’t forget the cell phone chargers, or the change jug, there are toll roads along the way there. And Ill get the road atlas just in case”

Jake, "You better. Last time you went by the GPS you wound up on the East side of Albuquerque instead of the West.

Day -2, 5:45am After a hearty breakfast Jake and Otis head out toward Kansas City, MO

Jake is at the wheel, “Just like old times huh?”

Otis, “Not quite, Last time I had over 6 months to prepair, not just a couple of days, and we needed ear plugs because this thing was so loud.”

Jake, “We have a sawsall in the back, I could fix that.”

Otis, “No, I like being able to hear myself think, and with the age and condition of this thing we need to be able to hear more than just exhaust.”

The trip was surprisingly uneventfull asside from the AC not working half way through the day.

Day -2 9:25pm Jake and Otis pull into the KOA on the east side of Kansas City (Oak Grove).

Jake, "Why here, the title says go west, we should be on the west side.

Otis, "We don’t know where we are starting yet, here we are on the outskirts, we have quick access to anywhere in town, and a Wally World (Wal-Mart) on the other side for supplies.

Jake and Otis set up camp and begin relaxing for the evening.
The next morning they get up at about 5:00 am local and begin cooking breakfast.

Jake, “So according to maps we can get anywhere in the western US in 2 days from here without having to push too hard, except Alaska of course.”

After breakfast and sunrise the two began tinkering with the truck and fixing the AC, which turned out to be a blown fuse and faulty relay.


IRL I did something like this, in the summer of 92, I drove a 1970 F-350 from south of Chicago Ill to New Mexico then back to Oklahoma. It would overheat if I went above 45mph, the brakes barely worked and the hood was held on with heavy duty bungee straps. But it started and ran every time as long as I didn’t push it too hard.


Team ‘Southend Or Bust’

Seb, James and Martin return, only now that they’ve finished university, they haven’t got the excuse to be able to prat around like the students they once were. Now, they have responsibilities!

  • James Hurley - 22 year old actually-named-after-the-Twin-Peaks-character who’s a cooking master and is realising getting his dream E39 5 Series might be harder than he first thought. Shares one too many car memes on Facebook.

  • Seb Anitolo - The long haired Spanish 21 year old is still more attractive than his friends want him to be Loves his aniseed liquor. Like many Geography graduates, he hasn’t got a clue what to do with his new degree.

  • Martin Deenham - Ever-worrying 22 year old mechanical wiz who chose the car again for this round. He hasn’t lost his soft heart, but it hasn’t helped his new found fear of dealing with utilities companies.

Wednesday, 4:30pm local time. It’s been 3 hours since Martin left to go and collect the car, and James and Seb have explored the entirety of the arrivals lounge at Kansas City Airport.

“It better have more room than that little Merna did” said Seb, rephrasing something he’d been saying since they first all agree to do this again.

“We are at least, finally, having a ‘last summer holiday’ before we go on with our lives” said James, already sentimental. Truth be told, he was missing living with these two guys already now that he’d moved into his flat in Bristol.

Then, James’ phone went off. It was Martin. “Alright mate? What’s going on?”
“Come to car park 3, I’ll meet you at the lift on the ground floor. Our baby is here” - the excitement in Martin’s voice was evident.

“What the hell is that” said Seb. He may well have been Spanish, but he’d perfected his ‘showing true English disgust’ mannerisms.

What stood before the three plucky lads was a white, battered and scuffed 1986 Erin Berlose Touring.

“The 2.2l model” said Martin, proudly. “I really did try to find one with the 2.8l V8, but they’re somewhat more expensive. Still, I’ve worked with these engines before so I know what I’m doing”.

“You’ve been a mechanic for all of what, 4 months? How many of these have you actually worked on?” said James. He clearly wasn’t convinced by this British land cruiser.

“Eh, a few. And I know Erin engines well anyway” replied Martin. He was concerned at James’ concern.

Seb walked round and inspected the car. “Certainly not had much, what do you guys call it, T, L, C? I think?”

“Certainly not. But, it runs very smoothly and the suspension was almost completley redone 8,000 miles ago” replied Martin.

Seb raised his eyebrows. “Mmmmm” he said. “Well, if you’re confident mate, I’m sure it’ll be fine”.

“Of course! I know what I’m doing” Martin said, gritting his teeth slightly. He knew how risky it had been getting this car, but it was a proper big British estate. Plus, they’d use a Berlose the first time they’d done this. He kept reassuring himself, but nothing could quite dispel his underlying worry. Then again, nothing ever did.

The boys loaded up, and headed for the hotel. Tomorrow, the challenge would get underway.

1986 Erin Berlose Touring 2.2l

150K on the clock, 5 previous owners, suspension well kept, body work rough but there’s not too much rust. Engine runs solidly, 5 speed auto still shifts decently. Interior in good nick, could do with some new carpets.


Team Spanish Fiesta: day 0.

After a long drive from Chicago, IL, to Saint Louis, MO, the two brothers finally arrive at the campsite.

“Alright, should be here if I’m not mistaken…let’s take a look at the competition.” Said Ana, parking the car. “Let’s see…the first car seems to be that bright green sedan. Looks like it just came out of NFS Underground 2.”

“I wonder if they installed gullwing doors on it. Let’s go ask them”. - Replied Alejandro.

Both brothers went ahead and asked the Highway Hooligans about their car and engine. The bonnet was opened and Alejandro and Ana took a look inside.

“A 5.4L inline 4? Well, looks like this car is meant to grind coffee as well as go fast…” - Said Alejandro, looking at the massive four pot.

The brothers then went back to their car, checking their supplies. Food, spare parts, sodas and water. Everything was ready to go.

“Alright, so you know the deal, you drive and I do the fixing, sis.” Said Alejandro. “I’ll only drive if you’re too tired.”
“Deal.” Replied Ana. “But we should preferably stop and have some rest instead if we come to that point.”

The race would start soon and the brothers were ready to roll…to be continued.


Entries are now closed. there are a handful of submissions I have yet to go through, which I will do later tonight.


Was Mainly Focused on the Car, so here’s some Team Info:
Team Letto:
Main Driver:Lord Letto, 28, Some Mechanical Knowledge (4 Automotive Service Tech Classes in High School, Passed all of them), Gamer & Otaku
Navigator/Co-Driver: Coconut Letto, 27, Lords Best Friend, Also a Gamer & Otaku

More Info on Car:
Like New Aftermarket Gas Mono-Tube Shocks (+1 Suspension Quality)
Interior is Worn & in Poor Condition, Various Cuts & Cigarette Burns & Worn Seat Springs & Covers, ETC (-5 Interior Quality)
Improved Fuel System & Engine Tuning for Performance/Economy With Aftermarket Performance Intake (+4 Quality on Fuel System, Intake, ETC. Tab)

799L of Cargo Volume, Most of it is used for Spare Parts (Spare Interior Lights, Interior Trim, Duct Tape, Took Kit, ETC for the Poor Interior to fix any Minor Issues during Rest Stops, Along with 2 Spare Full Sized Tires & Rims, 1 for Front, 1 for Rear (Front is 155/75/R15, Rear is 165/70/R15), 2 12 Packs of Mountain Dew Each & 2 Big Bags of Doritos Each Along with 2 Packs of Pocky Each & 2 25 King Sized Packs of Cigarettes Each.



Day -7:

Zach: I can’t wait for the week off school. We are gonna have a great time.

Mia: We need to talk.

Zach: About what?

Mia: About me dumping you.

Zach: What? Why?

Mia: I just can’t stand all the lying and cheating on each other.

Zach: But baby, I’ve never cheated on you.

Mia: I know… that’s what makes this hard.


Luigi: I would like to propose a toast. To Marc Levinstein: The only man here who can suck a promotion out of a penis!

Crowd: Hear hear!

Marc: Thank you for that rather expected toast.

Cop: Hey Chief, you want me to shoot him?

Luigi: You shoot me in a dream you better wake up and apologize!

Cop: Ha ha ha!

Marc: Nah, I’ll let it slide. It is a party after all.

Luigi: That’s right, I’m just expressing my First Amendment right. Which means I can say any damn thing I want, and there’s nothing your kosher pig chief can do about it!

Marc: I changed my mind, shoot this piece of shit!

(The cop shapes his hand like a gun and points it at Luigi making a gunshot motion)

Blake: Hey, that’s imaginary police brutality!

Cop: You want some too?

Blake: Never mind.

Luigi: In all seriousness, Congratulations. I couldn’t think of a better candidate to be chief of police.

Marc: Thank you. Anyway, let’s party on. Except you Grainger!

Grainger: Why not?

Marc: Uh, you have a shift starting in three hours.

Grainger: So I can’t enjoy myself at your promotion party?

Marc: Fine, here’s forty bucks, when your shift ends, buy a bottle of whiskey and go nuts! That’s an order!

Day -6


Blake: Good morning Maria, is Luigi still asleep?

Maria: Yes, he’s rather hung over.

Blake: Not a problem, I know just what to do.

(Blake walks into the kitchen and grabs a pot and a large spoon)


Blake: Wake up sleepyhead, we’ve got a big schedule today!

Luigi: (groan) I want to die!

Blake: You know the Tour is less than a week away, we’ve got last minute work on the car to do.

Luigi: Ugh, can’t it wait until tomorrow, my head is killing me.

(Blake raises the pot and spoon)

Luigi: Alright alright! I’ll get up.

(Later after a shower and a shitload of coffee)

Blake: Where’d you get this push bar?

Luigi: Old 109.

Blake: They finally retired her?

Luigi: Yup, replaced her with a Seneca.

Blake: I can’t believe it, that things been overdue since I was still there.

Luigi: Son of a bitch! God damn bolt snapped!

Blake: To the frame?

Luigi: No, this God forsaken undertray!

Blake: Leave it off then, those things were usually nothing more than grief anyway.

Luigi: With pleasure. So I meant to ask, is everything okay? Charlotte seemed a little distracted.

Blake: It’s Zach, apparently his girlfriend has been cheating on him.

Luigi: That’s rough. Okay, all done under here.

Blake: Excellent. You think she’ll pull through the challenge?

Luigi: Well, she’s got a new axle, the push bar. Plus that new stereo system we installed.

Blake: I can’t believe you bothered with this hood ornament.

Luigi: Hey, it was at the junkyard, and I figured since this is largely a homegrown car now, why not?

Day -5

(Blake is out in the backyard splitting wood, a piece flies out and smashes a tail light on the Enforcer)

Blake: Son of a bitch!

(Blake and Luigi head out to the junkyard in search of a new tail light assembly. The only ones they find are off a Gen I Enforcer. Fortunately the only difference is an amber lens, so they get a pair to put on the car.)

Day -3

Charlotte: You can’t just sit around the house moping all week.

Zach: Why not? I just got dumped, my classes are going nowhere, my life is in shambles!

Charlotte: That’s why you need to get out, take your mind off her.

Zach: Just leave me alone!

Charlotte: I want you to consider going with your father on this trip.

Zach: Oh yeah, there’s a way to spend my vacation, crammed in a car with three old guys!

Charlotte: Or think of it as time to gather your thoughts, not to mention a chance to bond with your dad. I know you two have grown apart.

Zach: Okay, I’ll think about it!

Charlotte: No, you’re going on this trip!

Zach: And if I refuse?

Charlotte: Then I’ll guarantee you’ll have a worse time here!

Zach: Fine!

Charlotte: Get your stuff packed, I understand they plan on leaving tomorrow.

Day -2

Marc: I can’t believe you wasted time and money on this ridiculous stereo system!

Luigi: Okay, by ridiculous I think you mean “Bitchin”

Marc: No, I mean a waste of money and time.

Blake: Hey, there’s nothing wrong with having some good music on a drive, and now this car has a CD player.

Zach: Yay, the top of the line of Yesterday!

Marc: Throw your stuff in the trunk, there’s plenty of room.

Luigi: Yeah, that’s one of the best things about this car, huge trunk space, plenty of room for spare parts and food and gear.

(Our Intrepid team sets out on the road, Blake is currently behind the wheel)

Blake: Look, I know this isn’t how you planned on spending your vacation, but you’ll have fun, trust me.

Zach: (staring into his phone) Yeah, sure.

Blake: Will you at least look at me when I’m talking to you?

Zach: Yeah, sure.

Blake: Okay! (Grabs Zach’s phone out of his hands and throws it out the window)

Zach: What the hell?

Blake: Oh, now you’re paying attention!

Zach: Why’d you throw my phone out the window you crazy old man?

Blake: (whaps Zach across the forehead) Enough! I really don’t need your bullshit right now! I get it’s natural for kids to be angry with their parents for no reason…

Zach: I’m not a kid anymore!

Blake: And yet you act like one! Look, I’m sorry about Mia.

Zach: No you’re not, you never liked her!

Blake: And yet she turned out to be a two-timing bitch, seems like I’m vindicated.

Zach: sigh I just don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing!

Blake: You’re supposed to be upset, but you’ll get over it. There are plenty of women out there… and most of them will be a disappointment.

Luigi: So, um, is the whole trip going to be like this?

Zach: Maybe, I didn’t even want to come along!

Marc: You want to know my advice?

Zach: Sure why not? You’re all going to tell me regardless of whether I want to know.

Marc: https://youtu.be/RsyXV-B3uGk

Day 0

(The Enforcer arrives at the site)

Luigi: Will you look at that green paint job?

Marc: Braille for the colorblind.

Zach: You mind turning up the heat, I’m a little chilly.

Luigi: The heats already on full, (feels vent) What the hell?

Blake: You topped it off with coolant right?

Luigi: Yeah, right before we left. God dammit, what is with this car now?

(Marc and Zach walk around to stretch their legs while Blake and Luigi check under the hood)

Blake: There! That’s running down the front of the motor.

Luigi: Where?

Blake: Right by the pulley. Dammit! I think the water pump took a shit!

Luigi: Great, I wish we caught that before.

Marc: Find anything?

Blake: Yeah, we need a new water pump.

Marc: Damn! That’s not good.

Zach: I don’t suppose you happened to stock one of those in the trunk?

Luigi: No I didn’t Mr. Smartass, but we shouldn’t have much trouble finding one at a parts store.


(Technically, the car does have sliding rear doors, so it’s at least a little unusual.)

Highway Hooligans, Day 0 Part 1 - Arrival

As the team of Spanish Fiesta wandered over and asked about their car and engine, Marcus smiled. “That’s a Dynamite E5, a midsize family-hatch from the year 2000. As for the engine… 2005 Dynamite T-1600, the 5.4 liter I4. Originally naturally aspirated, but we threw on a cheap turbo to make a bit more power.” he said.

“Does it have gullwing doors? Looks like it came out of Underground 2.” Alejandro asked.

“No, but it does have these from the factory.” Marcus said, grabbing the key fob and hitting two buttons. The rear doors gave a clunk, then slid back. “The jokers at Dynamite put minivan doors on a sedan.”

After the two brothers took a good look at the bright red engine in the vivid green sedan, they headed back to their car.

“Isn’t it risky showing them what we’ve got when we don’t know what they’ve got?” Jake asked.

“Not really. If we can shake someone’s confidence, we’ll stand a better chance.” Cody said.

“If the car holds up.” Marcus added.

Trevor wandered back with a couple bottles of beer in hand, grinning stupidly.

“Where the hell’d you find beer in this dump?” Marcus asked.

“Pinched a couple bottles outta someone’s case. Kinda shit beer to be honest. But free beer is good beer.”


Thursday (Day 1), 9:00am - Driver’s Meeting

“Good morning, participants!”

The event chair smiled broadly as he looked out at the gathered crowd from atop an overturned crate. Behind him was the silhouette of the National Frontier Trails Museum, a squarish, low-slung single story affair. A couple antique wagons were scattered on the grounds in front of the building.

"I see you’ve all brought your deathtraps. That’s good. It’s time to see how they hold up going West. We’re passing out waypoint lists now, and we’ll let you all start at exactly 10 am. Where are you going? Oregon, of course! Time to follow in the footsteps of tens of thousands from almost two hundred years ago.

“Less cholera and dysentary this time around. At least we hope. Can you and your ride make it in 76 hours or less? We’ll soon find out! You have 12 mandatory waypoints on the list.”

Then his smile twisted into something slightly evil.

"But what would this be if we didn’t have a twist? I bet a few of you thought you had a completely solid plan going in. We’re going to monkey with that a bit now. We’re adding a THIRD winner to this competition. Whoever adds on the most OPTIONAL, HISTORIC waypoints along the way, and still makes it within the 80 hour timeline.

“That’s right, for those of you going for the average, you now have to worry about who is making stops along the way, and throwing off your pace.”

The event chair seemed to revel in the momentary confusion.

“Good luck to all of you.”

Waypoint List

This time around I am posting the entire waypoint list, along with their mileage from start, pre-emptively.

Minor Park/Red Bridge Crossing - 19 miles
Fort Kearny State Historical Park - 344 miles
Ash Hollow State Historical Park - 523 miles
Chimney Rock National Historic Site - 599 miles
Fort Laramie - 674 miles
South Pass - 978 miles
Fort Hall - 1259 miles
Three Island Crossing State Park - 1432 miles
Emigrant Springs State Heritage Area - 1698 miles
The Dalles, OR - 1848 miles
East end of Barlow Road - 1889 miles (MUST take Barlow Road!)
End of the Trail Interpretive Museum - 2020 miles

I will post the first time slot batch in about 6 or 7 hours. If you have anything you want your team to strive for in the first few hours, PM me (one team has already given me a specific stop they want to do).


I got home much later tonight than I expected, so I will do the first time segment tomorrow night. Sorry.

yes, I know it's late, but I was very busy

Team Rice Box; leading up days

Day -2, 6:45am

Charlotte was completing Final Checks before her and Lyra drove from Calgary to Kansas City. She had found a leak in the power steering, but couldn’t do anything about it.
“How’s the M45 doing?” Lyra asked as she walked down the driveway.
“Banana should be fine to last us all the way. Did find an issue with our power steering, but that shouldn’t be too much of an issue.” Charlotte and Lyra packed parts and their own gear into the boot of Banana. Charlotte bade farewell to her Cat, Lithew, and her Boyfriend, Oliver, and they departed for the journey to Kansas city.

Day -1, 7:30pm

Lyra pulled Banana into the Hotel Parking lot on the outskirts of KC.
“Aren’t we meant to be Camping or something?” Charlotte asked.
“We’re spending the night here, and camping with everyone else tomorrow night. I want at least one good night’s sleep.”
“Okay, that is true.” As Lyra went to check them in, Charlotte grabbed their bags out from the boot of Banana, and did some small final, rather pedantic, checks. She also started setting up the Cameras inside Banana, to record their videos with. Lyra called out to Charlotte, and she locked up Banana before heading up to their room with the bags.

Lyra, being the self-proclaimed researcher, decided to do some reading up that night on the past 2 events run by these people.
“Did you know that the winner of their first event was in a Merciel Hatchback?”
“Shame no people who are entering in this one are up online”
“Guess we’ll need to scope out the competition tomorrow, then”

Day 0, 9:00pm

Lyra and Charlotte arrived at the Campsite, bumbling Banana through the site, to find a spot near any team they can. Lyra starts to go through the route plan that she’s put together. Charlotte checks over the car once more, before setting up the two tents.
“Char, I’m gonna get a fire going, alright?”
“Sure. Once I’m done here, I’m going for a wander. See if I can talk to anyone. Maybe see if anyone even knows us.”
“Hahaha, Suuuuure.”


Day 0 - Kent Croissants

Team and Info

Oak Grove Campsite

ᴵ’ᵐ ᶫᵃᵗᵉ ˢᵒʳʳʸ ᴵ’ᶫᶫ ᵏᵉᵉᵖ ᵒᶰ ᵗᶦᵐᵉ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰᵉ ʳᵉˢᵗ

“You don’t have to drive so slow” moaned Damien “just park anywhere it doesn’t matter”

“I’m trying to find a space shut up” replied Jordan turning a corner in the car park “oh for gods sake” he said as he saw the aggressively green Highway Hooligans car parked across three spaces. Its green paint glowing brightly even in the grey evening light.

Jordan parked opposite the luminous green car, and the three got out of the car, opened the boot and bags fell out of the tightly packed boot.

“Jees how much did you pack” Aaron exclaimed from behind his and Damien’s bags struggling under the weight of Damien’s added luggage.

“Just the kitchen sink and the rest of the flat” replied Damien sarcastically.

Jordan came back from checking around the campsite for the rest of the competition whilst Aaron and Damien sat by the tent in some cheap fold out chairs. “Anything interesting around?” asked Aaron.

“You could call them interesting yes. There’s some brown Letto Merda thing that … well its called a Merda so it’s what you’d expect, a yellow Conte Ataque and a Merciel Vitesse that apparently won last time” Jordan replied sitting down in an empty chair by the small open fire.

“Who on earth would call their car a Merda, and why would you offer it in brown of all colours” said Aaron shaking his head with an expression of ‘why?’ on his face, Gazing into the fire.

“I assume that viscously green car is taking part as well” added Damien after a couple of minutes “I heard someone say its got a 5.4 litre turbo four cylinder engine”

“Bloody hell!” replied the other two in unison with their mouths wide open in disbelief.

“That’s massive! There’s some proper teams against us hope we do alright.” followed Aaron.

The three sat in front of the flickering orange fire for a while longer talking about the upcoming journey and then went to sleep with Damien grumbling about the early start.


For the Waypoints, Do we have to visit them in the Order listed, or as long as we visit them along the way (I Tried inputting them in Google maps & Unless I Screwed something up (Totally Possible), there would be some backtracking if we have to go to them in order listed).
Day 1 Route Removed

  1. there’s no backtracking, Google can get confused because a couple waypoints have “duplicate” names (Americans aren’t always 100% unique in naming things). Trust me, I vetted it, it’s linear and roughly along the lines of the original trail.

  2. resend that to me in PM and remove it from the thread, please…


Legend of Terms:

TBDC: Time Block Distance Covered. This is the amount of mileage covered during the current 2 hour period.
ODC: Overall Distance Covered. This is the total distance that the team has covered since Noon on Friday
MRL: Morale modifier
FTG: Fatigue Level
Notes: Any notes I have for your team during this time block. Including POI results, car issues, etc.

Thursday, 10AM - 12PM

Weather Conditions: 88 degrees, sunny, humid

Most vehicles are on I-29 North or I-80 West.

Upcoming POI (optional, let me know if you want to stop at them for rest/sightseeing): California Hill.

Next Waypoint: Fort Kearny State Historical Site

TBDC: 121 mi OD: 121 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor Park

TBDC: 0 mi OD: 0 mi MRL: -3 FTG: +2 Notes: Immediately went to the parts store to procure a new water pump and replace it. Pump procured. Replacement in progress.

TBDC: 123 mi OD: 123 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor Park

TBDC: 118 mi OD: 118 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor Park

TBDC: 84 mi OD: 84 mi MRL: +2 FTG: +0 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor park. POI visited: Alcove Spring, KS.

TBDC: 75 mi OD: 75 mi MRL: -4 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor park. Team was pulled over for (rather excessively) speeding on I-29 north by a Kansas State Trooper. Registration passes muster, but the trooper made it clear he didn’t want to see your ugly beater back in this state.

TBDC: 113 mi OD: 113 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor Park. Steering was getting heavy, quick break to replenish fluid.

TBDC: 118 mi OD: 118 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor Park.

TBDC: 118 mi OD: 118 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor Park.

TBDC: 113 mi OD: 113 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor Park. Torque bind is getting a bit worse.

TBDC: 113 mi OD: 113 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor Park.

TBDC: 110 mi OD: 110 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor Park.

TBDC: 113 mi OD: 113 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor Park.

TBDC: 118 mi OD: 118 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint ompleted: Minor Park.

TBDC: 115 mi OD: 115 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor Park.

TBDC: 115 mi OD: 115 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor Park.

TBDC: 121 mi OD: 121 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor Park.

TBDC: 118 mi OD: 118 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor Park.

TBDC: 113 mi OD: 113 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor Park. Got stuck behind slow traffic for a while.

The following vehicles are in packs:
Ardent, Merciel - 121 mi
Conte, DMA, Bonchon, Rigel, G&W - 118 mi
PRJ, AEA, Cedar, Kageshima, Letto - 113 mi

Team Teal Terror

“DON’T CRASH!” Fuzz cackled gleefully as he squirted a stream of water directly in his sister’s face.

To her credit, she didn’t crash. Just cursed at him for juvenile, dangerous behavior.

“Ah, so you admit you’re a bad driver and I can’t distract you!” he snorted mischievously. “Good, pull over. It’s my turn to drive.”

“No way. We switch at Kearny. That was the deal.”

“Yeah, yeah. Just giving you shit.”

Jen smirked. “Aww, Teddy. You’ve always been a little shit. But giving yourself away is a new thing. Is your pimp telling you to give away the goods again!”

“Well, if I want to make Sergeant, you know…”

Jen made a gagging noise. “Gross.” She swiftly grabbed Fuzz’s water bottle, closed her eye, and sprayed herself liberally with the cool water.

“Ugh. You’re telling me. I did NOT want to go to family edition of the wet t-shirt contest.”

She shrugged. “Get used to it. No A/C. Gotta keep cool somehow. Grossing you out is just a bonus.”

Fuzz grimaced, then looked back at the GPS, checking the mileage remaining before the fort.


Highway Hooligans

Day 0, Part 1 - “What’s Under the Hood?”

In the Driver’s Meeting

“So, the Oregon Trail. Interesting little road trip.” Marcus said.
“Says the guy who raced Route 66 a couple years ago. And you said you’d retired.” Cody said, giving his brother a good ribbing.
“Was hardly a race, most of the people there brought out large barges and cruised it. Only a handful of us actually made decent time.”

DING! “Your headlights are on.”

“Jake, turn the headlights off.” Trevor snapped.

“Why, we’re driving in a few minutes anyway? I’ll just turn the engine on.”


A few moments of cursing later, and Jake had his key in the ignition, and the engine running. With the drivers’ meeting over, Marcus wandered back, then saw Jake in his seat.

“Really? Fine, you’re in the hot seat, you take the first leg.” Marcus said. “And before anyone thinks about it, Shotgun.” With that said, he settled into the passenger seat. Cody took the seat behind his brother, while Trevor sat there on the driver’s side, eating a bag of chips.

“Really, Trev? I know we didn’t pack any of those, either.” Cody said, rolling his eyes.

“I’m regretting the decision anyway. They suck.” Trevor said, throwing the empty bag out of the window.


Marcus grabbed the cassette adapter cable, then plugged in his phone. With a few quick clicks, he raised the volume, then started the first song in the playlist.

He reached up, then turned the Neons on, and set them to “Music Mode” so they’d pulse in time with the music. “Gotta love that mode. In my XR-3, I had it labeled as ‘Dance Fucker Dance’ but I didn’t bring a label maker this time.” Marcus said. Jake nodded, turning on the bright green fog-lights and trying to carefully roll the car up to the starting line.


“Use the clutch, Jake.” Cody said, grinning. “The old rule of ‘If you can’t find it, grind it’ doesn’t work so well in a car with a big engine, and I’m not going to be happy if we have to go without second gear.”

“I’m trying, but you know I suck at driving stick.” Jake said.

“Consider this a learning experience, then.” Trevor said.


“Fine, you need some incentive then.” Marcus said. “Grind my gearbox again and I’ll give you a charlie horse.”

At the line, Jake managed to get it stopped up without stalling the engine. The flag dropped, and Jake dumped the clutch halfway up the rev range, leaving in an almighty cloud of tire smoke, noise, music, and flashing lights. Second gear was an easy slap shift, and the traction control finally stepped in to keep the rear wheels from burning.

THUD! “OW!” Jake yelled, the car weaving all over the lane as he tried to lean away from any further attacks.

“I warned you. Use the fuckin’ clutch.”

Eventually, the gear changes smoothed out, and the Highway Hooligans were hurtling down the highway at breakneck speeds, hauled along by the mother of all I4’s and its pet snail. “You can almost feel the explosions.” Jake yelled over the colossal racket in the car.

“I know. Imagine this with one less cylinder, no turbo, and a straight-pipe.” Marcus said.

“That had to shake like crazy!” Trevor said from the back seat.

“Soda was not an option on that trip. It was like driving a paint shaker.”

Jake reached over, grabbing a can of Monster and downing most of it. “Least we’ve got a little smoother engine this time, and we’re making great speed.” he said, before finishing the can. “Um, where’s the garbage?”

“Right here.” Marcus said, grabbing the can, opening his window and sending the empty metal container flying. Jake grinned, lightly horrified by how quickly Marcus had made that decision, and yet amused that, for once, he could litter and not hear an earful from his parents about it.

Trevor rolled down his window as Marcus rolled up his, then sent two empty beer bottles flying into the passing lane. “Weight reduction, bro.” He said, before laughing like a drunken madman.

“Well, if anyone wants to find where we started from, just follow the trail of trash.” Cody said, laughing.

They hurtled down the highway for a while before Cody looked at the GPS and then realized something. “Dude, I think we’re in the fuckin’ lead!” he said.

“Don’t. Don’t you fuckin’ jinx us, Cody, or I swear to fuck you’re going to have road rash on your ass.” Marcus said.

The Highway Hooligans raced down the Highway to the sound of thumping music and the roaring engine. And the occasional flying object evicted from the car.


Morale: +1 (Change: +1)
Fatigue: +1 (Change: +1)
Waypoints Complete: 1
Notes: Listening to music on the highway at high volume.


Previous [Day -2 through 0]

Team Rice Box

Day 1, 9:00am - Post Drivers Meeting

“Well, my route guess was wrong, haha,” Lyra looked toward Charlotte, who was holding a Go-pro, “Oh, you’ve already started recording.”
“Yes, I recorded the entire meeting, so they knew what was happening.”
“You’re much better at this vlogging stuff than me.”
“That’s because it’s what I do, Ly.”
“Very True. Very True.” They head back to Banana, Charlotte does yet another final check, and mounts some external Go-pros for “Cool shots.” Lyra keeps looking at Team S.O.B, stuck in her own world.
“Earth to Lyra, we have a race to start.” Charlotte calls to her.
“Fuck, sorry, sorry.” Lyra hops into the Driver’s seat, starts the woeful i4, and they drive over to the start line

Day 1, Waypoint 1
“Right, you do what we need to do, I’ll get to doing the Power steering… it’s already buggered.” Charlotte ordered to Lyra.
“Well, we’re in Minor Park, some other teams here. We’re gonna try and keep up with them, although we’re not actually that fast. Chinese engineering, I guess. Say Hello to everyone, Char!”
“Hiya, Power Steering has a few issues, but all we can do is refill the fuel. This is gonna be a long 3 days.”
“Right, back onto the road for us, as it looks like the others are bailing, too.” Lyra shuts off the Go-pro, and they rush back into Banana, to try to keep pace with the other teams."