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Go West Deathtrap Tour [FINISHED]


Team Redneck Day 2 0800-1000

Jake takes the wheel after fueling the truck and the two wave to the waitress and residents who were in the cafe that came out to wish them good luck.

Jake and Otis start singing “On the road again, I just can’t wait to get on the road again”

After a short version of the song Jake says, “So where are we getting gas next?”

Otis, “Soda Springs, after that their should be less distance between gas stations.”

The drive down the road is uneventful, and boring with only a few country stations available on the radio they begin listening to CD’s instead.

At about 9:30 Otis’s phone rings.

Otis, “Hello”

Waitress, “Hey sweetie, we had three of your buddies come through, though one apparently broke down shortly after leaving here and were making repairs.”

Otis, “Thanks Love”

Jake, “Well?”

Otis, “Team Kim and Comrade broke down right after fueling up and are making repairs, Wagons West, and Cunning Stunts are about an hour to an hour and a half behind.”


For those listed as “low fuel” for the 8a-10a timeframe, you will all be passing through here, VERY shortly.


Mopey: Gran, I’ve just checked the latest on the race and we’re leading it!!!

Gran: Really George?

Mopey: No because we’re driving around in a slow piece of shit, visiting every fucking shithole place of interest there is and you’re driving like a fucking granny!!! Erm…


Mopey: OW! But it was fucking worth it!


Gran: We’re making a perfectly speedy progress so we’ll be having LESS of that language young man!

Spanners: ZZZZZZZzzzz…Huh? What’s happening? Why am I covered in food, dishes and tools?

Gran: Sorry David but it’s a little difficult to drive in a straight like and smack this young rascal for uttering the sort of obscenities you only find in a low-brow tavern frequented by ruffians!

Spanners: OK then…I’m going back to kip.


Legend of Terms:

TBDC: Time Block Distance Covered. This is the amount of mileage covered during the current 2 hour period.
ODC: Overall Distance Covered. This is the total distance that the team has covered since Noon on Friday
MRL: Morale modifier
FTG: Fatigue Level
Notes: Any notes I have for your team during this time block. Including POI results, car issues, etc.

Friday, 10AM - NOON

Weather Conditions: 82-87 degrees (depending on location), high clouds

All vehicles are on I-15 North, US30 West, US 287 North, I-25 North, or 26 West

Upcoming POI (optional, let me know if you want to stop at them for rest/sightseeing): Independence Rock State Historic Site, Soda Springs, Hagerman Fossil Beds National Park, Old Fort Boise, Farewell Bend State Recreational Area.

Next Waypoint: South Pass, Fort Hall, 3 Island Crossing State Park.

TBDC: 137 mi OD: 774 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Fort Laramie

TBDC: 97 mi OD: 1259 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +2 Notes: Team has refueled in Fort Hall, ID. Waypoint Completed: Fort Hall. Team has set up for a rest.

TBDC: 134 mi OD: 809 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +1 Notes: None.


TBDC: 33 mi OD: 898 mi MRL: -3 FTG: +2 Notes: Team refuels in Jeffrey City, WY at about 1025am. CRITICAL FAILURE: The timing belt (or chain, whatever) snaps upon restart after refueling. No replacement part is available in this tiny town, and it will take too long to procure a replacement from elsewhere. Final morale: +5 (Medium)

TBDC: 122 mi OD: 886 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +1 Notes: Fuel low. Team will stop shortly in Jeffrey City for fuel.

TBDC: 114 mi OD: 985 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +2 Notes: Team stops in Jeffrey City to refuel at about 1020am. Waypoint completed: South Pass.

TBDC: 108 mi OD: 1130 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +1 Notes: Team refuels in Montpelier, ID.

TBDC: 63 mi OD: 965 mi MRL: -1 FTG: +5 Notes: Wheel bearing repair completed just after 11 am.


TBDC: 90 mi OD: 972 mi MRL: -5 FTG: +2 Notes: Team refuels in Jeffrey City at about 1015am. On approach to South Pass, the patch job done to convert the AWD to FWD fails. The rear output shaft slips out of the transmission, dumping all of the fluid. It was not noticed in time, and the transmission grinds itself to death. Final morale: -6 (disappointing)

TBDC: 107 mi OD: 905 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +2 Notes: Team refuels in Jeffrey City at about 1140am. TEAM MORALE IS HIGH.

TBDC: 112 mi OD: 1001 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +4 Notes: Team refuels in Jeffrey City at about 1005am. Waypoint completed: South Pass. The clutch is not doing well in the mountainous terrain, slowing the team down somewhat.

TBDC: 117 mi OD: 754 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +0 Notes: Waypoint completed: Fort Laramie.

TBDC: 111 mi OD: 984 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Team refuels in Jeffrey City at about 1010am. Waypoint completed: South Pass.

TBDC: 106 mi OD: 929 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +2 Notes: Team refuels in Jeffrey City at about 1015am. Car’s intermittent misfire is back. Waypoint completed: South Pass. TEAM MORALE IS HIGH.

TBDC: 125 mi OD: 1054 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +3 Notes: Waypoint completed: South Pass. Team refueled in Montpelier, ID.

TBDC: 127 mi OD: 1041 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +2 Notes: Waypoint completed: South Pass. Team refueled in Montpelier, ID. TEAM MORALE IS HIGH.

The following vehicles are in packs:

Team Teal Terror

(no RP this time around, but they are relieved to not be dead last, as they blast past the Kageshima.)


Team Spanish Fiesta: final episode.

Ana closed the fuel tank lid. “Good thing we’ve been able to find 95 so far, huh? Wouldn’t want this thing knocking due to the 91 octane fuel they use here.” She said.

“We have no time to lose. Let’s get going” - Replied Alejandro. Ana and Alejandro started the engine up, only to, as soon as Ana clutched out in first gear, hear a snapping sound from the engine.

“I hope that’s not what I think it is.” - Said Alejandro. Ana turned the engine off, and both brothers lifted the bonnet. Alejandro took his tools out, taking the front cover of the engine as quickly as he could. Upon removing it…what he saw made him start getting anxious. He started looking everywhere, looking for a car shop somewhere, but failing in doing so. He sat in the passenger seat again.

“The timing belt snapped. We’re out of the race, Ana.” - Said Alejandro, notably sad. His sister sighed, sitting on the driver seat.

“It’s okay. You had almost no time to prepare the car for the race, and considering it’s pretty much a beater, I’m surprised we made it this far.” - She replied. “Look, let’s try to book the tickets to go back home. And the shipping papers in order to bring this little thing with us.”

“Are we taking it home? What for?” - Alejandro replied, looking at his sister.

“I might have plans for it, if you’re interested.” - She concluded.

Team Spanish Fiesta: THE END.


Highway Hooligans

Day 2, 8-10a - “The Not-So-Quick-Fix”

The obnoxious green Dynamite hurtled down the highway, engine screaming as Marcus kept his foot to the floor. The gauge in the A-pillar steadily counted down the pressure in the bottles as the nitrous oxide hissed its way into the engine.

DING! “Your Engine Oil Pressure is High.”

Despite Ivan’s warning, Marcus kept on it, redlining 5th before making a sharp gear change to 6th, going for their top speed.

DING! “Turbocharger Overboost Detected. Engine Damage may Occur.”

“Shut up, Ivan.” Marcus said, the car roaring down the hard shoulder, mile markers whipping past the passenger side mirror as they steadily picked up speed. Jake had his laptop open, the fans audible over the roaring engine as he watched the engine’s diagnostics, keeping an eye on temperatures, boost levels, fuel/air ratio, and pressures.

DING! “Your Coolant Temperature is High.”
DING! “Your Oil Pressure is High.”

“Shut up, you’re fine.” Jake said, looking at those two values. “High side of normal at best.”

“The floor’s getting really fuckin’ hot!” Cody yelled.

DING! “Catalytic Converter Temperature Limit Exceeded. Emissions Equipment Damage may Occur.”

“I know it’s fucking hot, Ivan! It’s burning my fucking feet.”

Trevor hit the window switch and dropped his window, then proceeded to throw the empty beer bottles out of the car, as well as the jar of piss. The air that rushed in smelled worse than the air in the car already.

“Cat’s burnin’ up. Can smell the sulfur.” Trevor said.

DING! “Catalyst Failure. Prompt Service is Required.”

“She can fart dirty for a while, that’s not a problem. We’ll keep on it until the bottles are empty.” Marcus said. “I’m more concerned about the engine’s guts.”

The highlight of that two-hour stretch was a truck pulling up alongside them, with the driver rolling his window down to yell over to them, “Hey, dudes, your exhaust is on fire!” It didn’t slow them down any, but instead inspired confidence as the boost-juice ran out. With a final pop and a wheeze, the nitrous line ran empty, and the engine shuddered as it got way-too-much-fuel for the air it had for a split second before Marcus disarmed the system.

The final 34 miles were spent cruising at high RPM, albeit with the punctuated note of DING! “Catalyst Failure. Prompt Service is Required.” Every few minutes…


Morale: +2 (NC)
Fatigue: +5 (+1)
Waypoints: 5
Status: Out of nitrous. Catalytic converter severely overheated.

(OOC: Not quite the “Danger to Manifold” one would expect, but a crazy turbo engine with nitrous oxide is sure to do something. In this case, blow-torching the internals of the catalytic.)


Team Redneck day 2 1000-1200

Otis naps against the door, a small pillow between his head and the B-pillar. His old hat is tilted way forwards to cover his eyes.

Jake continues driving and switches out the CD for another.

Back at Jeffrey City things are going pretty good with cars comming in every few minutes at first. Each of the teams are cheered on as they take off.

Nearing Montpelier Jake decides to get fuel,

Otis, “This isn’t Soda Springs, something wrong?”

Jake, “Just running the numbers and I felt we were going to be cutting it too close on range”

Otis, “Ok, better safe than sorry, Ill check over the truck, you get the lunch out”

After refueling, and checking the truck the two eat lunch a bit early while Jake continues driving.

Otis’s phone chimes with a text update

Otis, “Six more teams arived. The Spanish team is out, timing belt broke”

Jake, “I figured we would have come across that old cop car by now, I wonder how much longer they drove for?”

Otis, “I don’t know, we could have missed them for all we know, its best if we don’t worry about it and just do our thing.”



Marc: Turn that up, I love this song.

Luigi: Big surprise.

Marc: Yeah yeah, bite me!

Blake: Think any of those other guys will pass us?

Marc: We’re practically surrendering our lead by camping right now.

Blake: Better that than crashing into a ditch because we’re worn out. Besides, the car can use a rest.

Zach: Holy shit! I just realized that this car has been running straight for over 24 hours!

Blake: There’s life in the old girl yet.

Luigi: Beneath the battered and ruined exterior beats a heart of pure arthritis.

Marc: Hear hear!

(time passes)

Luigi: Hey Marc.

Marc: Yeah?

Luigi: You have any hairs in your nose?

Marc: Why?

Luigi: I’ve got some in my ass, I thought we could knit them together.

Marc: You know, my offer still stands. All expense paid flight to Italy, First Class.

Zach: That’s generous.

Blake: Wait for it…

Marc: Only stipulation, you can never return to the US.

Luigi: Hmph, I’ve been in this country too long.

Marc: That’s what we’ve all been trying to tell you for twenty god damn years!

Luigi: Looks like we’ve made it. Fort Hall. And we should fill up.

Blake: Here’s the card Zach, you take care of that. Hopefully we won’t run into what happened last time.

Marc: What are you talking about?

Blake: A gunman was robbing the station, Zach hosed him down with gas and I threatened him with a lighter.

Marc: Bull Shit!

Luigi: When was this supposed to have happened exactly?

Blake: Sometime around 3 in the morning I think.

Marc: You meant we slept through all that?

Blake: You guys were beat, I didn’t think we needed to wake you.

Marc: So you have an armed Police Chief sleeping in the back seat of a car and you don’t think to wake him when an armed robbery is taking place?

Zach: It was kind of a spur of the moment thing. Instinct kind of took over.

Marc: Whatever.

(The team gets gas, this time without incident. They then make their way to set up camp.)


(Coming back to their tent plot from a hike up Scotts Bluff).

Kamil: Ah, what a nice way to start a day!

Jacek: Yeah, certainly better than that of those to in that turquoise dirt missile.

Kinga: True, if they’re still busy fixing that thing, then maybe we should offer lending them a hand?

Kamil: Sure, so we can embarrass ourselves by showing off our tech-incompetence… but yeah, I guess you’re right, sis, would be the civilized thing to do.

Jacek: Look over there, would-be helping hands!

(From a distance, they watch the Teal Terror head out on the road and blast away)

Kinga: Well, looks like our good intentions alone were enough to help along…

Jacek: Right, Kinga… so, dead last?

Kamil: Yep - slow but steady, that’s Progress the JET way.

EDIT: MRL: +5(+1); FTG: +2(+0)


Team ‘Southend Or Bust’

Original Post - Previous Post

“…Right, wait for it, I guarantee when the mileometer ticks over it’ll start again”. James was behind the wheel, with a gleeful smile on his face, and the other boys peering over his shoulder.

“Ready, here it goes”

Chug chug chug. The 2.2l inline 6’s smoothness died away and in came the unmistakable sound of a misfiring engine.

“Holy fuck” said Martin, sitting back in the passenger seat. “This is remarkable”

“Have you ever come across a missfire that happens every 4 miles for exactly 30 seconds at a time?” said Seb, laughing as he did.

“Nope, and before you ask, I don’t think we can fix it” said Martin, with a cheery ‘oh dear’ expression.

“Nancy’s a special girl, ain’t she” said Seb all of a sudden, in a mock posh British accent.

James looked in the rear view mirror, judging Seb. “You haven’t perfected you’re English accent yet” he said.

“Yeah it’s a bit shit to be honest” Martin chimed in, "and you’d probably get punched if you tried that in Oxford.

“Oxford? Why Oxford?” asked Seb.

“Well that’s where all the toffs live” said Martin, jokingly.

“I thought that was, er, where is it, Surrey?” said Seb.

“Oh yeah they live their too. They just go to university in Oxford” said Martin.

“We don’t have toffs in Spain” said Seb.

“Yes but then again you also don’t have any money” said James, and they both laughed.

Southend or Bust’s talent for geographical socio-economic generalisation knew know bounds.


Team Wagons West - Day 2
4AM - 6AM

By 6:00, team Wagons west had already left the campground. Over breakfast, the team had discussed the plan for the day, and Toni was given the keys. Packing up was completed with a minimum of fuss, and conversations were kept quiet, showing consideration for the other campers in the area. With the sun rising behind them, Toni was sure she’d be able to make up some time at the wheel, but didn’t intend to spend the ENTIRE day driving… like her nephew had chosen to do.

6AM - 8AM
With Beth in the front, and the boys provoking each other in the back seat, they’d gotten back onto Highway 26 in Morrill around 6:15.
Bill: Is it just me, or is that the exhaust knocking around?
Toni: It’s a 40 year old car. Plus, we’re driving it to death. If you’re really worried we can have a look at it the next time we stop.
Wookiee: You don’t need to. It’s working. Worry when it becomes a problem.
Bill: You wouldn’t be hiding something, would you?
Wookiee: You wouldn’t be a moron, would you?
Beth: For the sake of my sanity, stop.
Toni: Spoken like a old hand, little Betty.

They reached Fort Laramie some time near 7:00, by which point (under Toni and Wookiee’ s tutelage) Beth had become more confident with a paper map… they only had to turn once.


Legend of Terms:

TBDC: Time Block Distance Covered. This is the amount of mileage covered during the current 2 hour period.
ODC: Overall Distance Covered. This is the total distance that the team has covered since Noon on Friday
MRL: Morale modifier
FTG: Fatigue Level
Notes: Any notes I have for your team during this time block. Including POI results, car issues, etc.

Friday, Noon - 2pm

Weather Conditions: 82-87 degrees (depending on location), high clouds

All vehicles are on I-15 North, US30 West, US 287 North, I-25 North, or 26 West

Upcoming POI (optional, let me know if you want to stop at them for rest/sightseeing): Independence Rock State Historic Site, Soda Springs, Hagerman Fossil Beds National Park, Old Fort Boise, Farewell Bend State Recreational Area.

Next Waypoint: South Pass, Fort Hall, 3 Island Crossing State Park.

TBDC: 124 mi OD: 898 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +3 Notes: Team has reached Jeffrey City for refueling at about 150pm.

TBDC: 0 mi OD: 1259 mi MRL: +6 FTG: -6 Notes: Team is asleep.

TBDC: 117 mi OD: 926 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +2 Notes: Team reaches Jeffrey City to refuel at about 110pm.

TBDC: 92 mi OD: 978 mi MRL: +2 FTG: +2 Notes: Team stopped at Jeffrey City for fuel at about 1210pm. Waypoint completed: South Pass. Team stops at South Pass for rest/sightseeing, which will bleed over into the next time period. TEAM MORALE IS HIGH.

TBDC: 121 mi OD: 1106 mi MRL: -1 FTG: +4 Notes: Power steering leak has gotten markedly worse. Team has run out of spare fluid, and there are no parts stores here. Comfort penalty applies; power system may not be salvageable at this point.

TBDC: 61 mi OD: 1191 mi MRL: -5 FTG: +7 Notes: FAILURE: Engine spits two rods through the block. Amazingly, via their cargo loading factor, specified spares at the beginning, and ridonkadonk cargo capacity, this team is actually carrying a spare (used) engine. Replacement is underway.

TBDC: 136 mi OD: 1101 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +7 Notes: Waypoint completed: South Pass. Team is starting to feel tired.

TBDC: 119 mi OD: 1024 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +4 Notes: Waypoint completed: South Pass TEAM MORALE IS HIGH.

TBDC: 96 mi OD: 1097 mi MRL: -1 FTG: +4 Notes: Clutch continues to get worse. Speeds over 55 MPH are now impossible.

TBDC: 125 mi OD: 879 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +2 Notes: Fuel low. Team will be refueling shortly in Jeffrey City.

TBDC: 126 mi OD: 1110 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +3 Notes: Team is starting to feel slightly fatigued.

TBDC: 120 mi OD: 1099 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +4 Notes: TEAM MORALE IS HIGH. Car’s misfire continues. Option: Attempt to diagnose the misfire at the next fuel stop in Montpelier, ID?

TBDC: 130 mi OD: 1184 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +7 Notes: Team is feeling slightly fatigued.

TBDC: 137 mi OD: 1178 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +4 Notes: TEAM MORALE IS HIGH. Team is close to a planned rest stop at Soda Springs.

The following vehicles are in packs:
Bonchon, PRJ, Shromet (not within visual range, but within CB range of each other)

Team Teal Terror

“Will you look at the road, please?” Jen growled through clenched teeth. Her knuckles were white as chalk from gripping the OSH with all her might.

“Almost there…” Fuzz said quietly, staring intently at the gauge cluster.


He sneered at her, though never broke his gaze. “You’re not Mom. That won’t work on me.” He smiled. “BINGO! Two hundred and fifty thousand miles.” His attention moved back to the highway before him. “Quarter of a million miles. Not bad for this piece of crap.”

She rolled her eyes at him and sighed. “I told you. It’s not a piece of crap.”

“Crap crap crap, crappity crap craaaaap.”

This went on for the next five minutes, until the brother-sister duo and their eye-assaulting coupe pulled up at the gas station in Jeffrey City, Wyoming.

“What the hell?” Fuzz gasped.

It seemed like the entire town was sitting at the gas station, waiting for them. This was not false, nor an exaggeration; academically speaking, the entire population, plus a few from nearby areas, had congregated at the lone fuel stop in the town. Fuzz had a mind to roll up his window, but figured that would be pointless, if this was indeed a hostile mob.

To the contrary, the citizens welcomed them, squeegied their windows, offered them a free sack lunch and coffee, and helped them fuel up. Apparently they had been doing this for the last few hours, as the parade of junkheaps rolling through had given them a bit of excitement.

As they were about to go, Fuzz asked a question of a man wearing an impressive ten gallon hat.

“Have you seen a bright green tin can driven by a bunch of obnoxious bro-bois?”

The man nodded. “Reckon they passed through here about 40 minutes ago. Stopped for gas, same as you.”

Fuzz grinned, and pulled out quickly onto the highway.




Highway Hooligans

Day 2, 10a-Noon - “Danger to Manifold”

DING! “Catalyst Failure. Prompt Service is Required.”

“Jake, can you do something about that?” Marcus asked, having put up with it for nearly an hour.

“Not while we’re running. Have to flash a patch to the ECU to make it think the Cat’s fine, or possibly think it doesn’t need one.” Jake said.

“And this can’t be done while it’s on why, exactly?” Marcus asked, giving a light glare.

“Gotta pull the EPROM and do this the hard way. I’ve got a spare in my electronics kit, but flashing that chip doesn’t instantly fix the problem, gotta yank the one that’s in there. Thankfully, I installed a socket last time I was in there, so this will be relatively easy.”

“Ah. Considering that sounds incredibly technical, about how long will it take you to do that?”

“Maybe 5 minutes. Go fill the gas tank, it’ll take longer.” Jake said.

The car rolled into Jeffrey City at full pelt, screeching into the gas station under full noise and neons, the eurobeat only cutting out when the ignition switched off. Mercifully, the obnoxious green glow-mobile blanked out and Marcus got out to fill the gas tank. Jake crawled over the seat, carrying a slim black chip in his hand like it was made of precious metals, then reached under the dash and gave the ECU a quick, sharp tug. “Gotta love Dynamite and their hard-mounted edge connectors. Makes ECU swaps easy, I bet.” Jake said, grinning.

“Oh, it used to be a real problem on the 80’s ones. They’d fry 'em left and right. Bad alternator design, the voltage regulators would go and the ECU would get 20 volts straight to the board. Nothing’s gonna survive that.” Trevor said. “Used to work on my fair share of the stupid things. Swap the alternator, pull the ECU, shove the new one in there, and let the car auto-calibrate.”

Jake flipped the lid open, got out the chip puller, yanked the main memory chip, then carefully put the second one in place. He flipped the lid closed, put the two screws back in, then shoved the ECU back into the slot under the dash.

About this time, Marcus and Cody recognized they had a bit of a crowd forming around them, including a guy in a huge cowboy hat and several other people who had some gifts for them. Never ones to pass up a free lunch, they politely accepted the sack lunches and some coffee in their travel mugs, and were glad when several people worked together to squeegee the last of the vegemite and the dirt-dicks off of their windows.

“You’re the ninth in three hours, you know?” the guy said.

“That’s actually good to know. We’re in a race, so… Yeah, we’re not doing so good, but we’re not last yet.” Jake said, his laptop propped open on the center console."

“What happened to the car?” someone asked.

“Oh, you mean the questionable drawings and the slime on the window? Motel stop, we’ve annoyed some of the other teams, but we gave as good as we got. They drew in the dirt, we gave them a pink racing stripe. Other team that got us, they’re in a teal shitbox. Smeared something disgusting all over the windshield, set us back about 10 minutes to clear most of it.” Cody said.

“What made them do that?”

“I shot at them with a party cannon. Guess they didn’t like my idea of a free metallic paint-job from all the glitter that showered their car.” Trevor replied.

“So you’re saying you guys deserved it?”

“Pretty much. Look, if you could do us a favor, if the teal thing’s not been through here yet, could you guys put diesel in their gas tank, slow 'em up a bit?” Trevor inquired, giving a wicked smile.

“Nah, don’t think so. That’s not good sportsmanship. Plus we don’t have diesel at this station.”

“Fair enough. Maybe just old coffee, then?” Jake asked, handing over a $20.

“Could give one of 'em a cup of last night’s brew. That’s at least acceptable.” the person said, taking the cash.

“Thanks. And thanks for clearing the windows for us, that would’ve been a real pain to explain to a cop if we got pulled over.” Marcus said, getting back into the car.

“Oh, have you seen a car with a bright pink racing stripe on it?” Trevor asked, grinning.

“Yeah, they came through here a couple hours ago, got gas. Broke their timing belt and their car wouldn’t start. Looked so upset when it happened, too.”

“Damn. Was looking forward to passin’ them, too.” Marcus said.

“Mister, something under that car’s glowing, and I don’t mean like the green lights you came in here with.”

Cody looked, then said, “Oh, yeah, that’s because we’ve got nitrous, so we really overheated the emissions crap on this car. It’ll be fine, we’re out of passing gas.”

With the fuel stop completed, the Hooligans hurtled out of the station with the volume turned up to 11 and the neons glowing.

DING! “Please Buckle your Seat Belt.”

Marcus reached and buckled the belt, and the angry flashing light on the dash winked out. After a few minutes of glorious silence, they all cheered. “Jake, you’re a fuckin’ genius with that thing! Ivan’s not bitching about the emissions equipment.”

“Disabled the Catalytic Converter Warnings. Won’t tell us about a catalyst overtemp or a catalyst failure, but leaves the others intact. Figured that was better than completely disabling the audible alert system entirely, as it can give some useful information at times.”

DING! “Exhaust Backpressure Exceeded Normal Limits.”

“Well, that’s not good.” Cody said. “Whaddya think?”

“Clogged cat. We had the engine off, it cooled down, some of it solidified and now we’ve got an exhaust restriction. Could stop and take it off, or we keep driving on it and hope it’s not blocked enough to reduce power.” Trevor said.

“Not on my watch.” Jake said, getting the laptop open. He prodded at the keys and gave a light grin. “We’ll burn a little more gas for a few miles, but it should do the trick.” he said.

“The fuck did you do?” Marcus said, feeling the engine’s power dropping slightly.

“Basically told it to fire spark later, so some of that exhaust can leave unburned. Then turned up the fuel trim to keep the power up, mostly. Should have the wanted effect in about 15 miles.”

20 miles later, they heard a loud bang from under the car, and some crackling that rattled the whole length of the car as well. Jake immediately backed off the fuel trim adjustment and restored the timing to standard, then said, “Everything’s okay, we’ve just blown up the catalyst.”

“That was fucking loud!” Cody said.

“Well, we did just have a gas explosion in the catalytic, and it did just spray bits of hot metal out the pipe all over the road, so I’m not surprised it was loud.” Trevor said.

Marcus chuckled, then said, “Should’ve let me yank the bastard while we were at home, would’ve saved us the trouble and some fuel.”

“Didn’t figure we’d need to blow it up, but then again, maybe the teal turd will run over some hot metal and burst a tire. Either way, we’re traveling at a great rate of speed, and we heard from back there that some of our competition’s out. Let’s just enjoy what we can while we can, and hammer down until we pass other people. And Trevor, man the party cannon in case the teal shitbox shows up again.” Jake said.

Trevor nodded, then stuffed some wadded up tissue paper down into the cannon, poured in three pounds of glitter, and another paper ball on top. “Won’t be aiming in front of their car this time. Hope they like media-blasting by glitter.” he said.

With the cannon loaded, the four of them decided to dig into their lunch bags. “Oh, perfect! Tuna salad! Plus chips. Not a bad haul.” Marcus said. He held the wheel with his left hand, and the sandwich in his right, eating quickly.

“I’ve got grilled cheese and ham, and chips as well.” Jake said, taking a bite.

“Bacon, Lettuce, and Tomato.” Trevor said, taking a hungry bite.

“Got a pair of bratwurst! Can’t beat that.” Cody mentioned, before digging in.

“Gotta admit,” Marcus said between bites, “they did things right with the food. Sure, it’s mixed, but you can mix and match if you don’t like what you got. And none of us are picky, we do what we must because we can.”

“Yeah, having a cast iron stomach helps when stealing food from the other teams.” Trevor said. “That, and a bit of good luck when it comes to knowing what’s worth taking and what ain’t worth shit. Like lifting that jar of 'shine out of the back of the truck on the first day. Never knew it would be good, but it made for a hell of a party. Or all the water bottles out of that shitty blue coupe.”

“Can’t believe you did that.” Marcus said, laughing. “Of all the things, why the water?”

“Well, if you’re gonna pack enough water to ride a horse through a desert, I’m gonna take it. Means if we blow a radiator hose, the car gets to drink as good as us. Plus, it just made sense while I was busy getting that beer out of the station wagon, they were close enough together that I could hop from one to the other with a minimum of sneaking.” Trevor said.

“What else have you stolen?”

“Well, you already know the beef jerky was in the camo-lunchbox that had the shine, and I already told you where that came from, and you know the beer and the water bottles… Swiped a package of Kosher hot-dogs from some red car and ate those while wandering around the lot stealing other stuff. Don’t think they noticed me, or I’m sure I’d have heard about it. Plus, they had two other packs, who’s gonna miss one? Then there was the red lunchbox that had the cheesecake we ate. And the chips that, well, I can’t remember which car I stole those from, honestly. At that point, I’d gotten into the beer I found in the back of that truck, the shitty beer that wasn’t all that good, but it got me drunk. Think I took stuff from a few more cars after that, but I don’t know. And I remember leaving a bottle of piss in the back of one of them, though I don’t know who I did that to.” Trevor said.

“So what you’re saying is, we’ve got enemies we don’t even know in this race, and yet, no one’s acted on it much?” Marcus asked.

“Pretty much. Either they haven’t noticed or haven’t cared enough to find out who did it. Or they kinda knew who did it, but can’t be bothered.”

They continued on for the rest of the time-block, lazily eating their sack lunches, downing their coffee, and letting more garbage hit the fresh air.


Morale: +2 (NC)
Fatigue: +7 (+2)
Waypoints: 5
Status: Cannon reloaded, fuel tank filled, free food (not even stolen this time!) and coffee, plus some miles under their belts. It’s a good day so far.
Notes: Will glitter-bomb the next car to (try to) pass them.

(OOC: Yep, the plot thickens. More disasters await those who were anywhere near the Hooligans at any point in time. Of course, completely optional, but possibly worth a laugh for some mild conflict among teams and team members. And I figured it made sense, @Zabhawkin, to pretty much make the moonshine and beef jerky yours, as it was half-implied earlier. After all, now would be when it, and any other things you might want ‘inconveniently missing’ to not be there. The Hooligans pretty much stuck to food and drinks, only because they’re immediately usable.)


Team Redneck day 2 1200-1400

Playing their 4th round of the alphabet game in two days, the radio is playing a local country station.

Jake, "Soda…(tick) O "

Otis pauses then “Springs… P”, “Ahead by one (tick)” pause “again. (tick)”

Jake turns off the radio (tick tick)

Otis, “I think we might (tick tick clack tick) have (tick tick) shit (clack bang bang whack clack bang clackita clackita)”

Smoke starts pouring out from under the hood in all directions as the truck starts rapidly loosing power, a black splattery mess of engine oil covers much of the road behind them

Jake seeing a flat paved area off to the side of the road across from a construction site, limps the wounded beast the last few hundred feet.

Jake finishes his dads interupted statement, “A problem”

Otis throws the door open before the truck comes to a complete stop, “Pop the hood, and grab the extra extinguisher in case it lights up” he then pulls out a fire extinguisher from behind the passenger seat.

Otis seeing a small fire on the drivers side calls out “Fire on the left manifold” to which Jake ducks under the truck and sprays the extinguisher putting out the small oil fire.

A couple of construction workers and truck drivers come over with extinguishers themselves to see if any other assistance is needed.

Worker1, “Do you need any more help?”

Otis, “No I think we got it”

Worker2, “We can call you a tow truck”

Jake, “Its ok we have a spare”

Worker1, “A spare engine is what your gonna need”

Jake, “Yeah we got one.”

The workers look at them in disbelief even when they pull back the tarps and uncover another complete engine, transmission, and transfer case (All bolted together of course).

Otis and Jake toss out everything that is in the way, which is literally everything else, the engine is strapped down at the very front of the truck bed. That includes the 400lb(180kg ish) spare axle which they move with the engine hoist once its assembled.

The tarps get tossed under the truck for the two to lay on when they have to work underneath, the hood comes off, then Otis works on carefully removing all of the 17 year old plastic wiring harness connectors while Jake uses the battery powered tools to separate the spare engine from the transmission.

Otis, “leave the exhaust on, we should be able to drop it straight in even with those on.”

Jake, “Ok”.

Jake finishes the relatively simple task first so he goes underneath to start working there. He straps the axle to the frame to keep it from moving as much when they remove the weight of the engine then starts removing bolts from both the bell housing, starter, and exhaust.

The first teams should pass them just before Soda Springs while they are unloading, the hood will be up with smoke still coming out, and a trail of oil leading to it from a ways down the road.



(Marc and Luigi are currently asleep, Blake is about to go to sleep when his phone rings.)

Blake: Hello? Hold on.Hey Zach, it’s for you.

Zach: Hello? Mia? Somewhere in Kansas I think… No, he threw it out the damn window… Look, never mind that, what the hell do you want? Maybe I’ll use whatever tone I want! Because you reached into my chest, plucked out my heart, and threw it to the dogs for a god damn chew toy!!! And I think maybe at least this trip though I didn’t want to go on, at least it would give me some respite, but no! It seems I’ll never be out of reach of your bony fingers! I have nothing more to say to you! No! As you said, we’re finished! So? When I’m lonely I don’t immediately jump into someone else’s bed for convenience! This conversation is over! (ends call)

Blake: I’m proud of you.

Zach: What? Were you eavesdropping?

Blake: Yes.

Zach: …

Blake: No follow up?

Zach: I was expecting you to deny it.

Blake: She’s nothing but trouble, you did the right thing.

Zach: You want to know something disturbing?

Blake: What?

Zach: At the gas station, when I sprayed that guy down, I was kinda expecting him to shoot me.

Blake: That’s why I ran out there with the lighter, I’m not letting anything happen to my son!

Zach: You don’t understand, I was rather counting on him shooting me.

Blake: …

Zach: This whole thing just had me all scatterbrained.

Blake: And now?

Zach: I think I’ll be okay. Honestly, I feel kind of great after telling her off.

Blake: That’s the spirit! Now come on, let’s get some sleep.


Legend of Terms:

TBDC: Time Block Distance Covered. This is the amount of mileage covered during the current 2 hour period.
ODC: Overall Distance Covered. This is the total distance that the team has covered since Noon on Friday
MRL: Morale modifier
FTG: Fatigue Level
Notes: Any notes I have for your team during this time block. Including POI results, car issues, etc.

Friday, 2pm - 4pm

Weather Conditions: 85-92 degrees (depending on location), clear

All vehicles are on I-86 West, I-15 North, US30 West, or US 187/189

Upcoming POI (optional, let me know if you want to stop at them for rest/sightseeing): Soda Springs, Hagerman Fossil Beds National Park, Old Fort Boise, Farewell Bend State Recreational Area.

Next Waypoint: South Pass, Fort Hall, 3 Island Crossing State Park.

TBDC: 129 mi OD: 1027 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +5 Notes: Waypoint completed: South Pass. Team is feeling slightly tired.

TBDC: 0 mi OD: 1259 mi MRL: +8 FTG: -8 Notes: Team wakes up at 4pm and will hit the road at 5pm. Team is still slightly fatigued.

TBDC: 110 mi OD: 1036 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +3 Notes: Waypoint completed: South Pass. Team had to deal with a flat tire shortly after departing South Pass.

TBDC: 88 mi OD: 1066 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +3 Notes: None. TEAM MORALE IS HIGH.

TBDC: 117 mi OD: 1223 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +7 Notes: Fuel low. Team has put reserve fuel can in the tank, which should carry them to Fort Hall.

TBDC: 0 mi OD: 1191 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +4 Notes: Engine replacement will be complete shortly after 4pm.

TBDC: 137 mi OD: 1238 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +5 Notes: Waypoint completed: South Pass. Team is feeling tired.

TBDC: 96 mi OD: 1120 mi MRL: -4 FTG: +4 Notes: Team hit a pothole in the road, and one of the rims paid the ultimate price. Car is now riding on its spare.

TBDC: 80 mi OD: 1177 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +6 Notes: Progressive clutch failure: Speeds over 55 MPH are now impossible. Team has refueled in Montpelier, ID.


TBDC: 19 mi OD: 898 mi MRL: -5 FTG: +4 Notes: CRITICAL FAILURE: Car suffers a wiring harness failure as it is cruising into Jeffrey City. Repair is hopeless. Final morale: -1 (Meh) (EDIT: Specifically, the failure is a fire.)

TBDC: 125 mi OD: 1235 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +5 Notes: Team is feeling fatigued.

TBDC: 41 mi OD: 1140 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +4 Notes: Team refuels in Montpelier, ID, and stops to diagnose their misfire. They find the distributor is failing, and the NAPA auto parts in town has one in stock. Repair will be completed just after 4pm. TEAM MORALE IS HIGH. Team is starting to feel slightly fatigued.

TBDC: 128 mi OD: 1312 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +9 Notes: Waypoint completed: Fort Hall. Team is feeling tired.

TBDC: 60 mi OD: 1238 mi MRL: +2 FTG: -1 Notes: TEAM MORALE IS HIGH. Team has stopped for an hour in Soda Springs.

The following vehicles are in packs:

Team Teal Terror

(Will post later, after @Madrias)



(Team is asleep, will wake up soon.)


Highway Hooligans

Day 2, Noon-2p - “Free Food!”

“So, the Teal turd is still behind us, but they’re closing the distance.” Jake said, over the racket of the engine and the road.

“I’ve gotta surprise for them.” Trevor said, grabbing the glass jar from under the seat. “We’ll see what they think of some spaghetti sauce meeting their windscreen.”

As they cruised through South Pass, they heard a deafening bang as the passenger side front tire exploded after they clipped a bit of road debris. A quick pitstop later, and their full-size spare was on the front of the car, so they returned back to the road.

“That settles it. We’re pushing it hard, guts-or-glory, we’re not stopping for a good while. Crank up the music, Cody.” Marcus said. “And raise that damn flag.”

Cody cranked up the Eurobeat soundtrack, and pushed the button to, once again, raise the radio antenna. The pirate flag unfurled and waved in the breeze while they cruised along.

“Shitbox is nine miles back. Be ready.” Jake said. Trevor nodded and rolled down the rear window, holding the glass jar of spaghetti sauce like a hand grenade.

“I’ll land this fucker right on their hood and splatter red chunks all up their windscreen.” he said, grinning. “That’ll serve 'em right for smearing that shit all over the windshield on our car.”

The E5’s aggressive engine drone echoed down the open highway, drowned out by the pounding beat of the music. The vivid green lights glared brightly, making the car incredibly visible as they cruised, waiting to strike.


Morale: +2 (NC)
Fatigue: +10 (+3)
Waypoints: 6 (+1)
Status: Flat fixed, War of the Windshields prepared.


We gonna get more juicy details or not? :thinking: