Go West Deathtrap Tour [FINISHED]

Team Redneck

Otis 47

22 years after the GAW Otis is still telling stories about participating in that race. He still races on occasion but has become mostly a has been at this point.

Jake 17 : Otis’s youngest son named after the dog that when along for the ride and has been following in his dads footsteps as far as racing and tinkering. His experience is mostly limited to dirt tracks and a few incidents in which the Sheriff invited himself over to dinner. (nothing like comming home after some shinanigans and finding the Sheriff parked in your spot and sitting at the dinner table)

The truck, it is the same truck that Otis ran in the GAW well for the most part, many of the parts that were stripped were put back in. In late 2012 the engine finaly gave out in a real bad way with 3 connecting rods sticking out the side of the block. So they swapped a 4.5L V8 out of a 2000 into it.
After 22 years on the farm the truck is in real rough looking shape its been maintained well just flogged hard for years.


Old picture from the GAR

Jake: Hey dad, you know how you are always telling us about that time you raced across Europe?

Otis: Uh yeah.

Jake: So I just read about something similar comming up, and since my car is still in impound by the Sheriff I was wondering if I could use that old truck in the barn from when you raced it.

Otis: So when and where is it?

Jake: Next week.

Otis: Next week! It will take at least a week just to tune the susspension to match the new engine, let alone knock the dents out, or pull the front driveline out lighten it or anything.

Jake: Don’t worry dad, its more of an endurance thing so we can take it as is.

Otis: Endurance huh? So who is going to drive it, repair it… Nevermind, I have an idea… WE are going just like when Jake and I went years ago.

Jake: Dad???.. There is no way I am sticking my head out the window and barking at cars!!

Otis: Of course not… You will be driving, I will be sticking my head out the window and barking at the cars. Lets go make a list and run this by your mother.

Jake: I already told her, shes getting the camping gear together now.

Engine complete with transmission and wiring harness and computer…
Engine hoist (dismantled)
Rear axle…
Tools
Front CV shaft…
Bailing wire…
4 rolls of duct tape…
2 gallons of engine oil
2 gallons of gear oil
2 gallons of un-diluted anti-freeze
5 gallons of water (can be used for drinking)
Tools
Tent
Tarp
Case of TP
2 sleeping bags rated for 0C
Blankets
2 air mattresses
Camp stove
Camping dishes
Camp sink (yes their bringing a kitchen sink)
More tools
Large ice chest with food and drinks.
Portable in car coffee maker
2 duffle bags with extra cloths
shovel
2 spare tires
Ammo can full of random nuts and bolts

Jake: Do we have everything.

Otis: God I hope so, who would figure that we would completely fill a long bed 3/4 ton truck, its starting to look like the Clampetts.

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Pit Stop US Part 0


This is Pit Stop US with the crew…

Nathan - Age = Barely 30 years old. Has a knack for fixing electronics, but never actually makes stuff work better.

James - Slightly large and probably in charge. Age = Early 40s. Worked as a mechanic in the UK for a few years. Good at wiring stuffs.

Charles - Older, Wiser, but not-quite the mentor. Age = Um, old as dirt. (mid 50s) Generally the sensible one, not easily angered.

Pit Stop US is a “semi-professional” Youtube show (sort of the combination of Roadkill and Top Gear UK.)

[Yes, there will be a camera van following the trio, but the camera guys are strictly there to film, they will not interfere, nor help out in any way.]


James and Charles are waiting at the meeting point for Nathan to return with the selected car.
Charles: “How bad do you think it will be?”
James: “Well, knowing Nathan is choosing the car, it’s probably going to be quite bad.”
C: “Yeah. sighs What’s your guess on what car he’s bringing?”
J: “Probably something quite slow. It’s probably got less than 150 hp. Or something with a completely trashed body.”
C: “I think that’s a given, with the budget we gave him.”
J: “Oh, look here he comes…”

Nathan pulls up, revving the engine.
James: “The bloody hell did you get?!”
“An AEA Corzippa” Nathan said while turning off the car and getting out.
“Oh, boy…” Charles replied, dissapointed and reluctant to even touch the car.
James: “Why the hell did you get THAT piece of junk!”
Nathan: “Na, na ett - Three. Hundred. Horse Power” He said as if that was all that mattered.
James: “That’s gotta be one of the worst, and I really mean WORST Cars American Eagle ever produced!”
“But! 300hp and All Wheel Drive with a 5-speed!” Nathan said, leaning on the driver door glass.
James: “Just look at this thing! It already looks like it’s going to fall apart!”
Nathan: “It’s barely broken-in, that’s normal.”
Charles: “There’s already rust on it for being ‘barely’ broken-in.”
Nathan: “shh-shush… It’s got leather seats”
James: “Those are Vinyl Seats! Look,” he said, walking closer the open driver door, “They’re all ripped up!”
Charles: “James, you left the lights on.”
Nathan: “I did? Oh,” He got off the window and leaned into the car to turn them off. He turned the switch a few times. “Uhh… Um, they are off.”

Realizing what this meant, James started laughing, then laughed a little harder. “You mean to tell me we’re going on a roadtrip with a piece of crap with the lights perpetually stuck on?”
“How much did you pay for this,” asked Charles.
“Uhh, five hundred dollars,” replied Nathan.
“Good God, the previous owner should have payed YOU $500 to take the car from him,” Barked James, “And refunded you for the damage done by the ‘custom’ racing stripes!”

Charles piped in again, “Do you know the milage or the maintinance history?”
Nathan: “Umm, One hundred…”
James: “One Hundred?”
Nathan: “…Thirty one…”
Charles: “Thirty one?”
Nathan: “…thousand miles.”
Charles and James together: “A hundred thirty one thousand miles?! [131,000miles]”
Nathan, with the silver lining: “But the timing chain was aparently done at 89,000! So its got that going for it.”
Charles, slightly relieved: “Ah, that’s good. But these things had problems with the all wheel drive system at 90,000 miles. Do you know if the differential fluid was changed, or the seals were ever done on the AWD system?”
Nathan replied, “Um, well, I know the kid I bought it from installed the aftermarket headlights and taillights.”
“Well, what’s the worst that could happen,” Nathan asks, “It’s not like a kid would trash a 300hp car just because it has turbos.”
Both Charles and James quizically glare at him, as Nathan had inevitably invoked bad karma.

“Well, It’s a good thing I packed my essential roadside repair kit then, as we’re definately going to need it,” said James. “What did you bring for food and comforts,” he asked Charles.
“well, I got myself a pillow. This old body can’t take the abuse anymore, especially with that car. And I also packed some waters, veggie chips—”
Veggie chips!” exclaimed a disgusted Nathan, “Do you really have to bring your smelly, ‘healthy chips’ this time?”
“Try them,” asked Charles, “you may just like them!”

“Alright, alright,” James chimed in, “We’ve got, mostly what we need, so let’s get this hunk of junk to the event… In One Piece. For that, I’m driving! Old man dirt gets shotgun.”
“Buhht, hey, I bought this car,” Nathan challenged, “I should get to drive it first”
“You already did,” answered Charles, “And I’m an old man, I need to sit in the front for my back. You’re young, squeaze in the back.”
“Well… you’re not wrong,” shrugged Nathan, “Ok then.”

And with the car loaded, the trio drove to the event, the Corzippa’s interior squeaking and rattling. all the way there.

Technical Specs

1998 AEA Corzippa GT2
131,000 miles on the odometer

2-door 4-seat Coupe
3.3L V6 SOHC 2-valve
Twin Turbo
300hp Factory
Factory AWD
(Car is not quite lemon enough to be officially classified as a lemon, but is well known for being unreliable)

Previous Owner’s Modifications:
Crappy rattle can racing stripes (partially to cover up rust)
Chopped off the mufflers and added a pair of glasspacks
Aftermarket headlight and taillight assemblies

9 Likes

I thought that only happens to VWs - though at 131k, a VW would probably be through another two or so timing chains…

EDIT: @findRED19 Huh, must’ve missed something - I had the old lore in my head about timing belts needing replacement and chains being essentially maintenance-free…

Well, just about every modern engine I know that has SOHC or DOHC (especially dohc) needs the timing chain done before it fails (which is usually around 100k to 120k miles). My early 2000s Alero 2.2L i4 dohc 16v, the 90’s and early 2000s Taurus 3.0L V6 dohc 24v just to name 2 examples off the top of my head.

And the Corzippa is an unreliable car in company lore, so to keep one alive, it takes a lot more maintenance with shorter intervals, thus the 90k ish timing chain replacing (among many other flaws and quirks of the car).

Edit: @bastormonger chains do stretch over time, but the main reason they need to be replaced before they break (or when they get stretched) is because most dohc engines are “interference” engines meaning the valves at their fullest open position extend into the same space the piston may travel into. Thus if the timing chain is too loose, or breaks, the valves could (and most likely will) open at the wrong time, sending them crashing into the piston and causing lots of damage.

To contrast, most American pushrod v8 engines do also have a timing chain, but are usually “non-interference”, and the chain is considerably shorter, so it will not stretch as much when they get worn out.

4 Likes

Team JET

As rapid as the name sounds, it’s actually just an acronym for Japonska Eks-Taksówka, which is precisely what their car is: An old, phased-out taxi from a Japanese manufacturer.

The Team

Kamil, 22
Studies medicine in Warsaw, hoping to move to England after graduation. A rather unassuming, smart guy who likes the odd adventure to spice up his otherwise quite normal lifestyle. Is currently taking a gap year to fulfill his dream of a round-the-world trip and has stumbled upon this event more or less by accident, spontaneously deciding to have a go at it.

Jacek, 21
21yo virgin, childhood friend and former classmate of Kamil’s. Could probably assemble a warp drive if provided with some of the nonexistent parts and materials and is working on a work of history detailing his theory of how Middle Earth may have evolved into what we know as the Star Wars universe. Doesn’t have the first idea about anything even remotely relevant among the human population on planet Earth, though.

Kinga, 24
Kamil’s significantly more popular big sister. Has hit a bit of a rough patch recently, becoming unemployed and soon after discovering that her long-time boyfriend had been cheating on her, apparently for years. Kamil decided to take her along for the tour, partly to cheer her up and partly out of gratitude as Kinga managed to get some of her friends to have an eye on Jacek so he wouldn’t have too much trouble with being bullied.

The Car
An '88 Kageshima Progress (Properly pronounced Purou’guressu) which his father had bought in 1994 to serve as a taxi. Phased out in that role in 2007, it continued to serve him as his daily up until 2011, when it was given to Kamil’s older cousin, who in turn passed it down to Kamil in 2014, when he got his driver’s licence, making it a bit of a family heirloom.

The Progress was no doubt a quality car, but its unexciting styling and, let’s say, benign handling characteristics soon earned it the unofficial slogan “Progress - slow but steady”. And indeed, steady it was, with Kamil’s car being a prime example as old faithful has racked up a whopping 584,000km over its many years of service, a feat certainly helped by the purportedly indestructible 4,05L, 163hp straight six.

At the start of the journey, the venerable JET has been treated to a couple of hundreds of dollars worth of fresh fluids, new tires and some minor repairs.

10 Likes

About 36 hours left to go! Get those entries in!

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Team Big Blue

Named after their car, which is, well… big and blue - Midnight Blue Metallic to be precise.

The Team

Steve Hayes - 33, lifelong car enthusiast from Toronto, Ontario. Being a friend of all four members of Team BAGS (which entered the Kinda Grand Tour) made him want to enter the Go West Deathtrap Tour in their place after hearing that Team BAGS was too busy to join the challenge. He has chosen to be the team’s navigator for this tour on account of his extensive knowledge of the route.

Ash Stuart - 41, fabricator and mechanic from Melbourne, Victoria. He knows the entire parts inventory for a wide variety of cars like the back of his hand, hence his decision to join the team. He favors cars from the late 80s to early 2000s; Big Blue is one of them.

Jeremy Bates - 36, automotive journalist from Birmingham, England. This Brummie has racked up thousands of miles in road tests around the world. His motivation for entering is to find out whether or not “bangers” like Big Blue are as bad as they seem at first glance.

Paul Evans - 25, semi-pro race car driver from Los Angeles, California. His experience with track driving has prompted him to join Team Big Blue as their lead driver. He is also familiar with the exact model they will be using, having seen countless examples of it throughout his life on American roads.

The Car: 1991 Rigel Motors RG5

Originally an unmarked police cruiser, it was subsequently converted to civilian spec after having been part of the LAPD undercover fleet for exactly a decade. It has covered 300,000 miles in total as of now after being used as a daily driver since its retirement from police duty. The only defect that the team was unable to fix is a pair of inoperable lower fog lamps, and the team couldn’t find the cause in time. There is one other, and possibly more annoying fault: the cassette player unexpectedly stopped working at 250,000 miles, although the radio still works fine. After sourcing a set of replacement panels and upholstery, and repainting the car in its OEM Midnight Blue Metallic, the team is ready to embark on a road trip unlike anything they’ve ever experienced before.

6 Likes

Team Spanish Fiesta: prologue 2.

Cadiz, Andalusia, Spain. A week before the start of the tour.

Alejandro pressed enter on the dynometer terminal. Giving a thumbs up to his sister, Ana started applying throttle gradually; the engine climbed through the powerband, wailing as it reached redline. Holding it there for very few seconds, she released the throttle pedal and the engine returned to its calm idle.

“How’s it feel?” - Asked Alejandro, taking a look at the data the dynometer showed him. “This thing shows a peak of 100hp.”

“Feels good enough. Not the widest of powerbands, but it’ll do just fine.” - Replied Ana. “Maybe you could tune it a little bit further? I reckon this would be a blast with 120 or so horses.”

“That’d mean extending the rev range and I’m not sure this rust bucket would be able to take it. And besides, our economy would crap itself.” - Replied Alejandro. “Open the bonnet lid.” Ana did so, and with a click, the bonnet was openable. Alejandro lifted it.

Ana got out of the car, and took a look at the engine. “The 1.5L plant, huh? How reliable is it?” - She asked.

“Back in the day, pretty reliable. This rust bucket…I can’t know for sure. Let’s just hope it resists the whole trip.” - He replied, as he patted the engine cam. “As long as you’re the one driving, it should be safe. I’ve never seen gearshifts as smooth as yours, sis.”

“Oh yeah, I’ll take care of that. I still remember the ass whooping mom gave you for griding the gears driving her car.” - She replied.

Both brothers laughed it, closing the bonnet again. “Alright, so now we hope we can get it through customs. Did you get the tickets to Chicago, Ana?”. - Alejandro asked.

“Yeah, our flight is booked, and we’ll be leaving this afternoon. Better get going, have lunch somewhere and to the airport we go!” - Ana replied.

And that afternoon, both brothers were on a plane to Chicago, and so was the car. To be continued…

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Team “Science Guys”

Nicholas Justinian. Age 24.
The Navigator, and Mechanic.
Nicholas, a 23 year old with an over the top personality. He is arrogant, and stubborn beyong measure. Believing his way is the best way, and the only way.
He’s quite sarcastic, and rude.
That said, He has quite the mind for engineering, although the entirety of his experince has been pen and paper knowledge, rather than experince leanred from
working on cars in real life. Although he would argue he’s played Car Mechanic Simulator and taken enough courses to work on a car with no difficulties.
His first car was a MK3 Shromet Radiant, purchased by his father.

Agustus Biffle. -29.
The Driver.
An accomplished accountant, and a race driver simply for hobby. Agustus became friends with Nicholas due to their shared passion for Nascar and Rally.
Agustus can best be described as an American Kimi Räikkönen. Brutally Honest in his few words. His reaction times leave a bit to be desired,
and he has nowhere near the engineering mind that Nicholas has, but he is calm, collected, focused under pressure, and can follow orders to the T.
His first car was a 1988 Oldsmobile Cutlass.

Steve Justinian. -19.
The helper.
Nicholas’ younger brother, Steve did not even graduate High School. He got his GED, much to the annoyance of his parents. He is a cheerful younger brother,
whom everybody seems to like. So, begrudgingly, his Older brother allowed him to accompany him. He is not a car expert by any means, or really a very big enthusiast.
He is more an enthusiast of camping and excitement.
His first car was a 2003 Jeep Wrangler.

The Car.

fakeflag-bg1-bg2-bg3

A 1985 Shromet Mystic Wagon, a boring, grey, front wheel drive, uninspired econobox. Its 90 Horsepower 2.2 Liter Engine might actually be tolerable, would it not be for the 3 speed autotragic gearbox, with third being close to overdrive, it did 105mph when it was new… Today, likely not as much.

This specific model was a base model, with no ABS. The car has 204,000 Miles, and due to its French mechanical underpinnings, these cars are not exactly know for their long life durability. The entire team has reason to believe it is on its last legs, but are willing to give it their best shot.

13 Likes

Still time to get in some last-minute entries. We’re a little over half full.

As we draw closer to the start, it’s time to reveal a little bit more about this challenge. Again, everything is real-world Earth. Contestants have been summoned to Kansas City, Missouri, USA for the start of the event. This event is considered to occur in mid-August, and daylight and weather conditions will be based on expected real-world weather conditions across the course area for that time of year. I will throw out upcoming POI (points of interest) which are optional stops where you can get out, stretch your legs, and see the scenery for the first few time increments (2 hour increments). Opting for POI will slow the progression of fatigue, and can also lead to morale boosts. At any time (including after I stop posting upcoming POI), you may PM me prior to reaching a real-world POI site, and let me know you wish to stop there and for how long.

Example from last run: A team asked to stop at the Tillamook Cheese Factory for 1 hour.

The event starts on a Thursday at 10am, and ends at 2pm on Sunday, giving everyone 40 hours to complete the challenge. There will be two WINNERS: the team that finishes first (fastest), and the team that finishes closest to the AVERAGE time of the FINISHERS (pace).

For overnight rest, please PM me prior to when your team will be sleeping, and where, and if you want to set a specific length of rest. There are three types of rest facilities: hotels, campgrounds, and boondocking.

Hotels: Removes the most fatigue, may give a small morale bonus. Teams will be on the road 1 hour after waking up, due to eating/showering, checking out, and loading up.
Campgrounds: Removes a moderate amount of fatigue, gives a significant morale bonus. Teams will be on the road 1 hour after waking up, due to eating and packing.
Boondocking: Removes the least fatigue, gives a moderate morale bonus. Teams will be on the road immediately after waking up, as they have minimal packing.

Example from the last run: A team asked to stay overnight at Fort Stevens State Park, with a wakeup time of 7 AM. (Which put them on the road at 8 AM)

Players are welcome at this time to start posting any pre-run RP they wish, up until day 0 (Wednesday, the day before the start).

12 Likes

Team Teal Terror

Day 0, Kansas City International Airport, 3:02pm

Jen fanned her face with the copy of People magazine she had purchased to read at lunch time. Her tank top was drenched in sweat, adding to her irritation and misery. As a Pacific Northwesterner, Jen was not the least bit comfortable with the humidity and heat of the Midwest. She was now thoroughly regretting that the Teal Terror had no air conditioning. She leaned back against the windshield, her rear sliding a little forward on the hood as she did so.

Jet engines screamed in rising pitch, and a few moments later she caught a glimpse of blue-and-orange rising into the sky as a Southwest 737 departed from the airport.

Where the hell is he?

She pulled her cell phone from her pocket and checked the time then slipped it back into her pocket.

He should have been here by now.

On Sunday, Jen had set out in Teal Terror with her close Beth. The two had driven more than halfway across the country together, but for very different reasons. Beth could have flown home to Missouri, but after hearing Jen was planning to drive cross-country on a solo trip, she altered her plans and the two spent time on a mostly pleasant road trip. They got in town Tuesday night, and spent the following morning doing some light sightseeing.

For Jen, it was then time to go to the airport to pick up her brother Ted, who was flying in from Seattle to meet her, and run Teal Terror back to home territory. This was the Go West Deathtrap Tour, and Jen felt that their 1992 Ardent Smoke fit the label quite nicely.

“Hey, sis,” a familiar voice called out. “'Sorry I’m late. Stupid flight had a ground delay at SeaTac.”

Jen sat up, the steel of the hood groaning as she shifted to a spot with no bracing. “Again? It’s getting kind of ridiculous.”

Fuzz nodded as his long strides closed the gap between them. The wheels on his roller bag growled in protest of the pace. “I know. But what can you do. I see you didn’t wreck the Terror.”

“Yeah, amazing. It’s like I know how to drive or something,” she rolled her eyes at him, then swung her legs over the fender and stood up. She then walked to the rear of the car and unlocked the hatch. Fuzz slapped his bag down on top of the neatly stacked camping supplies, eliciting a growl from his sister.

“If you break the tent poles, I swear I’m going to shove them up your nose so hard they come out your ears.”

“Jeez, chill. Here.” Fuzz unzipped the outer pocket of his bag and produced a bag of peanuts, which he handed to Jen. “Peace offering. I didn’t eat them because I know how much you like them.”

Jen took them from him and muttered thanks. As much as he was irritating, Ted was also a considerate and kind brother. Probably why she had never ACTUALLY given him a lobotomy with tent poles.

“Let’s roll,” she said, sliding into the driver’s seat. Fuzz got in the opposite side and slid the seat all the way back on its tracks. Even still, he looked somewhat cramped in the small coupe.

“So where are we staying tonight?” Fuzz asked enthusiastically.

“Oak Grove KOA.”

“Got S’mores?”

“Of course?”

“HELL yeah! Let’s do this!”

Day 0, Oak Grove KOA, 9:05pm

Fuzz leaned back in his camp chair, taking a moment to appreciate the gooey glory of the s’more he had just created. With the moment over, he wolfed it down in a single bite. Jen chuckled, then took a nibble of her own.

Their fire crackled softly its heat washing over them as twilight consumed their surroundings. Fuzz took a swig of his Big Rip Amber.

“Number three. Can you believe it, Jen?”

“Three runs. Three cars. Kind of weird. Wonder if we’ll run into some of the other teams again. Maybe those Southend guys.”

“Or the cops,” Fuzz interjected. “It would be cool to see them again.”

Jen nodded. “It’s going to be different, though. I miss Rick already.”

“I know. But with all the OT he’s been putting on, you’d just be missing him at home. Better to get out and do something than sitting around moping, right?”

“I was NOT moping!” she protested.

“Uh huh. Not moping. And there weren’t three pints of Ben and Jerry’s in the freezer either.”

Jen feigned indignation. “You snoop!”

“Well, two now,” he added.

“God damn it, Ted! Stop stealing our food!”

A wide grin crept across his face. “I’m not a thief, I’m a hero. I threw myself on that land mine like a boss!”

Jen couldn’t help at laugh at her little brother.

“Well, you owe me another pint.”

“Make it a pint of beer when we finish this thing.”

“Deal,” she agreed.

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Kansas City, misery Missouri, Corner of E 110st and Grandview Road, Seven Eleven.

An annoyed Agustus Biffle has once again been summoned to be the driver for the “Science Guys” who are nowhere to be seen.
He 's parked his Bush Angela in a nearby lot, and is drinking a black coffee whilst he scans the area repeatedly for his allies. Five. Ten. Fifteen minutes pass. He finishes his coffee and tosses it away. Half an hour late, Nicholas and Steve are. He checks his Rolex one last time, then sighs in frustration, beginning to walk away. As soon as he takes his first few steps, he notices a grey car putting into the station to fuel up, and God is it ever tragic… It’s a Shromet Mystic from the mid 80s, it is so rusted, it appears to be held together by nothing but cobwebs and the hopes and dreams of its occupants. An enthusiastic Steve flies out the passenger door.

“Well? Pretty Cool, isn’t it?” Steve opens his arms toward the car in a gesture to showcase it.

“…Pretty cool? That’s… one of the saddest cars I’ve ever seen in my life.” He chuckles. “…Am I supposed to be driving that thing?”

Nicholas opens the driver’s door and proceeds to fuel the car. “Nah, I just thought we’d stare at it here for the duration of the competition.”

Augustus moves in to examine the bodywork closer, peeling off a paint chip.
“…You sure have a thing for shitty Shromets, don’t you Nicky?”

“Hey!” Nicholas smacks his hand away. “Careful, or you’ll split the car in two!”

Steve enthusiastically moves between the two again. “Come on Gus, Look! A wagon!” He flips open the hatch. “Isn’t this cool?”

“I’ll admit it will be good for supplies…” Agustus nods, sticking his head in the hatch.

Nicholas takes the nozzle out of the fuel door and hangs it up.

“Listen, you know it and I know it. Shromet, 80s, not exactly synonyms of reliability… But Everything we’ve tested works. Even if shit breaks on the road-” Nicholas Begins to Explain

“-When.” Agustus interrupts.

IF.” Nicholas retorts. “It won’t all go until the run is over. I think we really have a chance in this one.”

“…I just do the driving and hope for the best. Toss me the keys…” Agustus sighs.

Nicholas tosses him a set of keys.

The trio climb into the car, off to gather the final supplies they need for the journey.

8 Likes

Apparently I have to clarify that entries are NOT closed (3 people have asked today). They close Friday, December 1st at 10 am Pacific Standard time (GMT-8).

1 Like

Highway Hooligans

Team Information


5 Days before the Race

The four men stood around the car, an array of tools scattered all over the small garage. The faded dirt-brown paint was smeared with grease and oil, and an aged laptop was perched on the roof, the faded beige not looking too terribly out of place despite the car being almost a decade newer than the laptop. “So, engine’s in, ECU’s reprogrammed. Trunk’s loaded full of tools and spare parts.” Cody said.

Jake, standing behind the laptop, gave a quiet grunt, then said, “Yeah, but we still don’t know if the truck’s engine is going to talk with the car’s ECU, and there’s still the matter of that snail I put on there. I mean, the car was originally a naturally-aspirated V6, and now it’s, well, a massive turbo inline four.”

“Well, you’re the computer wizard, Jake. And you spent the last week trying to make the two talk, so let’s make 'em talk.” Marcus said, dropping into the driver’s seat. He checked to make sure the parking brake was still on, stomped on the clutch, and cranked it over. The starter motor strained against 5.4 liters of inline 4, and for a moment, the only sound was the whining gear-reduction starter motor. Then a cough. A few pops, and a change in the whine. Then a deafening roar as the engine started, bellowing out of the open downpipe, kicking up dust from the floor. Over the engine’s thundering racket, the four guys cheered, and despite the car being an absolute mess, the beer was broken into.


4 Days Before the Race

“So, Trevor, what are you up to?” Marcus asked.

“Making a fuckin’ playlist for our music. Mostly eurobeat, but also some dubstep and some metal, just for a good laugh. We’ll annoy the hell outta anyone we’re near with it. That, and I added a few… surprises to our loadout.” Trevor replied, before motioning to the air tank in the trunk, and the bundle of plastic piping resting in the footwell.

“Didn’t you get kicked outta college when you, you know?” Marcus asked.

Trevor shook his head. “Kicked outta the dorms when I blew a hole in the ceiling with a confetti ball. Had to rent an apartment off campus if I wanted to stay. Decided I didn’t need an art degree that badly, got into running a mechanic’s shop instead.”

“Ah. Probably for the best. And what’s in this bag over here?”

“Stinkers. Basically, you know those fuckin’ ‘automatic’ air fresheners that just pump out flowery-death every five goddamn minutes? I found a brand of really rotten fart spray that’ll fit in there instead. So instead of flowers every five minutes, you get rotten summer porta potty every five minutes.”

“Make sure the battery tabs are secured well!” Jake yelled, packing his old laptop, the OBD-II cable, and several diskettes into a laptop bag. “Otherwise I’ll barf in your lap if they go off in the car.”

Cody was under the car, putting the finishing touches on the exhaust. “So, loud and proud is the plan, then?” Marcus asked his little brother.

“Yep. Catalytic because otherwise the ECU shits itself, reduces power, and puts us in limp mode, a straight section of pipe, and those Cherry Bombs you had on the shelf over there. Just added a splitter before them, stuck 'em both out the back. She’ll shriek when we belt her, but we’ll be able to keep it kinda quiet when we want to.” Cody said.

“Bro, glass packs and quiet don’t belong in the same sentence. And not when you’ve put them on something this big.”


3 Days Before the Race

DING! “Your keys are in the ignition.”

“IVAN’s working.” Marcus said.

“Ivan?” Trevor asked.

“Intelligent Vehicle Audible Notifications. IVAN. You know those cars from the 80’s that did this kinda shit, well, Dynamite kinda kept doing that in everything that wasn’t a sports car.” Cody replied.

“Either way, we gotta pack-and-run. Race start’s in Kansas City, Missouri, some campsite called Oak Grove.” Jake said. Trevor nodded, then said, “Don’t worry, I’ll call one of my drivers out, we’ll get the car mostly there, then we’ll drive it in.”

“Let’s get this disgusting shit-brown off the car, paint it a nice lime-green.” Marcus said. “And we’ll make a real rice-box out of it with some neons, one of those little spoilers, and some bright green fog-lights.”

With the plan “green-lighted,” the Highway Hooligans got to work installing the lighting kit and repainting the car in a hurry. After the paint was sprayed, and the masking tape was peeled away, they admired the car in the haze of paint fumes and decided this was a great idea. The paint was left to dry overnight.


Day 0, Hooligans Arrive in the Campsite

The roar of a turbocharged, quite large I4 burst through the peaceful, quiet air around the campsite, and as team Highway Hooligans got closer, the sound of eurobeat being played at full volume could be heard over the big engine’s cannon-fire scaring the birds from the trees.

Behind the wheel, Marcus was throwing the car around every corner sideways, rear tires shrieking in protest as the E5 weaved down the roads to the campsite. Once they were closer, the car was instantly eye-grabbing, with lime-green high-gloss paint, glowing green neon under-glow lights pulsing in time with the music, blinding xenon-blue headlights, and piercingly-bright green fog-lamps. They slid through the parking lot in a cloud of tire smoke, before settling for parking across three parking spaces.

Cody cheered at his older brother’s dramatic entrance, looking out the back window at the lengthy burnout-drifting-stripes leading up to their car, going all the way out of the parking lot and halfway up the road.

Jake gave a light grin, then turned the music down to a slightly more sane level, before Marcus rolled the windows down. He coughed on the cloud of tire smoke, then unbuckled the seat belt, grabbed his laptop bag, and got out of the car.

“Was it necessary to try to kill us, Mark?” Trevor asked from the back seat, pulling the handle and letting the electric motor slide the door back. Cody pulled his handle as well, though gave his door a shove and bailed out.

“Was totally under fuckin’ control. Not my first rodeo with going sideways at speed.” Marcus said.

“LOOK OUT, BITCHES, THE HIGHWAY HOOLIGANS ARE HERE!” Cody yelled, again disrupting the relative peace of the campsite.

Trevor and Marcus got out of the car, with Marcus lifting the hood to make sure their engine was okay, and Trevor, well, he was going to have a look around, and maybe cause a little mischief.

Jake grabbed his phone as Trevor sent a text message.

“Teal coupe is total shitbucket, no threat. Base model.”

Jake snickered, then said, “Looks like Trev’s scoping out the competition, or lack thereof. Won’t have to worry too much about some teal-colored coupe. It’s a base model, and not a good one at that.”

“Are we really this fuckin’ early that we’re having to wait on everyone else to show up?” Marcus said.

“I told you, we should have left an hour later. We’d be right in the thick of it, and more people would have seen that totally sick drift.” Cody said.

“Well, we’ll just have to see what everyone brings in.” Marcus replied.

DING! “Your keys are in the ignition.”

“Shut up, Ivan!” Jake said, grabbing the keys and giving them to Marcus.


(Out of character, when picking music for hearing the Hooligans, pretty much anything eurobeat, dubstep, techno, or metal will work. And yes, I’ll be ready for some cross-team RP.)

6 Likes

So about 13hrs?

Yup

1 Like

just under 10 hours, 10am PST = 1PM EST & it’s 1:15 am EST Here.
Anyway, Here’s the 1980 Letto Merda, some Piece of Crap I Made Powered by a 2.9L OHV I4 Turbo. Should be ~ $11225.13 when new in 1980, In 2017 it should be ~$493.31



A couple of days before the start of the Deathtrap Tour, team JET are on the way from Boston, where the Progress has been shipped to via RORO-vessel, to Kansas City. Jacek has the wheel at the moment so he can get familiar with the car.

Kinga: It says here Thursday, 10am to Sunday, 2pm - that’s 40 hours. I thought it would be 72…

Jacek: Yeah, that’s quite tight indeed. Let’s see… if we rest 8 hours a night like normal people, that would leave us with 16 hours driving time.

Kamil: for 2,000 miles, that would mean we’d need to average, what, 125mph?

Kinga: So that’s x1.6, right? That would be…

Jacek: 200kph.

Kamil: Great, that’s just a shade over what this thing tops out at, so I see no problem there…

Kinga: Yeah, but then again, you don’t win races by sleeping 2/3 of the time. But anyway, why do them 'Muricans need to use those weird units? Degrees Fahrenheit, pounds, feet, and they measure their fuel in balloons or something!

Jacek: That’s gallons, Kinga.

Kinga: I know, I know, just sounds so weird. So, how are we gonna go about this thing? If we take turns at the wheel just as planned, one of us can always sleep in the back, so we could basically do with no stops at all, except for refuelling or stretching our legs a bit.

Kamil(laughing): Yeah, I can totally see us sleep with you at the wheel!

Kinga: Hey, that’s Highwayland, right? The ride will be smooth as silk and when you wake up, you’ll just be in awe how much ground we have covered.

Jacek: Maybe we should at least stop for a night once about halfway - 40hrs nonstop doesn’t sound like fun to me.

Kamil: Yeah, you’re right, maybe we can even squeeze some sightseeing in, I mean, it’s not like this whole deal would be a life and death matter or anything.

Jacek: With an 8-hour night rest and, say, four hours for leisure stops, we’ll still have 28 hours total driving time. Should be doable.

Kinga: And a shower after two days in the car would be nice, too. (Kinga looks at her smartphone, then bursts out laughing)

Kamil: What is it?

Kinga: Mom just texted and wants to know how we’re doing - and she’s confused about us carrying two and a half spare galleons in the trunk…

Jacek: Is she clairvoyant or something? Might just about fit back there, though … Wait a minute - Thursday 10am to Sunday 2pm… that’s 76 hours. Maybe we should check the rules again?


@VicVictory Am I misunderstanding something? Are those 40 hours ‘net’ time, with mandatory resting time already subtracted?

7 Likes

Alright. I’m in.

Team “Wagons West”

Bill “80’s” Grey (40 y.o) has a problem with letting go of the past. He stll listens to mainstream 80’s music and wears flannel shirts. A BIG fan of Monty Python, and anything he can find on VHS tapes. His most prized possession is an original Sony Discman…unless you count his collection of AC/DC cassettes. His wife left a note on the fridge about this, so he took some time off from running his HR agency.

Mechanic/2nd Driver:
“Toni” Thompson, can’t figure out how to use a GPS, but that cames from her advanced years (she’s Bill’s aunt). She spent the 90’s in England, associating with a low-tier rally team… and I mean the WHOLE team. Plenty of experience crashing cars… at the demolition derby from '83-'89.

Navigator:
Bill’s GPS… aunt Toni won’t touch the cursed thing, and
“The Wookiee”, Bill’s never actually asked what his name is, but Toni brought him back from New Zealand in 2010. Appears to be late 50’s. He says he likes long drives through isolated forests. :confused: Cooks a mean “rabbit stew, bro”.

I Almost forgot

Beth Grey. It just so happens that she’s married to a guy named Bill. She’s let him go off on two of these adventures so far, and wants a piece of the pie. It’s OK, their kids are teenagers, so the house should be fine.

Wheels:
A Godhap and Whent 1978 Wallis station wagon (sure, it’s more a 5 door hatch, but that’s advertising for you), powered by a Windsor ii 2.9L I6 from a 1984 G&W Stamford. Bill bought it from Beth’s older sister, she’s been driving it since she got her licence (it was already old), and is quite lucky it’s not dead yet. Clock says 750,000Km… seems legit (no, really).

Why it’s crap:
Interior’s a tad worn (-3)
No interior lights
Wipers only work on high speed
Coat-hanger bent into the shape of Australia for an antenna (YAY, Australia!)
Steering has a knock on left turns

Why it’s SLIGHTLY less crap:
New front pads.
Replaced Injectors.
New Dampers (+2).
Tube exhaust + removed Cat, gutted the 1st muffler, removed the 2nd.
Got a local mechanic to re-map ignition timing running on 95 RON (shameless plug for “Fat Tony’s Performance Tuners”).
It had “wider”, medium compound tyres fitted before Beth’s sister decided to sell it.

6 Likes

THEY’RE BACK!


Team Cunning Stunts


They’re back with the Lucky Lady (in the alternate timeline where the EADC Vole became the Merciel Vitesse and became F-AWD)

-Stephie Smith: A 33 year old stuntwoman from California. Moved to Somerset 7 years ago for a more quiet life. Travels often to the US for her job as a stuntwoman. Married Lawrence in 2010. After winning the Roulette Runner, she went back to doing her job, however she felt the urge to compete in another Roulette Runner-eseque challenge. Back for the Deathtrap tour, she intends on winning this challenge.

-Lawrence Smith: Also a stuntman, Lawrence is 34 years old and is from Liverpool. Met Stephie in the UK after she moved to Somerset in 2010 and have been married ever since. After winning the Roulette Runner, he also wanted to participate in another challenge like it, but work got in the way. Currently on a break from his work, he’s decided to enter the Deathtrap tour, although is skeptical if the “Lucky Lady” could survive another beating.

-Alex Mitchell: Lawrence’s brother in law and Stephie’s younger brother. Aged 22, Alex came up with the team name, and is the team mechanic since he’s the only one with an engineering degree at Harvard. After the Roulette Runner, he went back to Harvard to finish his degree. After being called by his sister about this new tour, he jumped at the opportunity to join as the team engineer.


The “Lucky Lady” (1997 Merciel Vitesse 125)


After surviving the beating that was the Roulette Runner, the “Lucky Lady” is back. With most of the problems from the Roulette Runner sorted out, the car is ready to rock and roll (although the radiator fan does have a tendency to stick and most of the electronics are fucked.) With a plucky 1.8L Turbo i4 and 50/50 AWD, the “Lucky Lady” should have no problem tackling the terrain.

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