One Last Hurrah [FINAL RESULTS]

Community Challenges & Competitions
171

TEAM OUTRIDERS

The team wakes up at 06:00, two men take showers while the other two eat breakfast, then they switch. By 07:00 they are packed up and ready to go. Blake is behind the wheel for this morning start.)

Blake: All set?

Marc: Yup.

Zach: Yup.

Luigi: Not yet. We’ve got this bitchin’ stereo system, I say we put it to use.

Blake: Hell yeah!

Marc: Hold on, I know where you’re going with this, I have only one condition.

Luigi: What’s that?

Marc: Play that shit loud!

Luigi: Yeah!

(Blake turns the key, the big block roars to life. Luigi plugs in an MP3 player and switches it to the song everyone… well everyone but maybe Zach has on their mind.)

Blake: Let’s hit the bricks! YEE HAW!!!

(The Enforcer takes off with a flurry of (intentional) wheelspin. After throwing the car into a couple sliding figure 8s Blake turns the car onto the road and they take off in a roar of thunder!)

Zach: Jesus Dad, are you crazy?

Blake: Oh come on, where’s your sense of adventure?

Zach: Back at the hotel, but don’t worry, my mortality took its place.

Blake: You’re much too tense, you gotta learn to live a little.

Zach: Dying in a wreck isn’t what I’d call living.

Marc: Don’t tell me you’ve never had fun in the snow. Throwing the car into skids and practicing getting out of them.

Zach: My first car was a Petoskey Legion, not exactly known for taking honors at the drag strip.

Luigi: Those were pretty solid though.

Blake: Vast amounts of metal between your child and the tree he will inevitably hit.

Zach: I never hit a tree.

Blake: Thank God no, but if you had then at least you’d be walking away from it.

Luigi: Anyone know what the weather forecast is?

Marc: Light snow, and it looks like it may pick up later in the day. Expect snow all day, slippery roads, and an Italian homo in the front seat.

(Luigi turns around to give Marc the finger)

Luigi: sigh I’ve been in this country too long.

Marc: That’s what we’ve all been saying for over twenty years!

Luigi: Blow me! How’re we doing on gas?

Blake: We’ve got a quarter tank.

Luigi: Hey, maybe our esteemed Police chief will take a crowbar to his wallet for once and buy the next tank.

Marc: I understand, since you blew all your savings on midget hookers.

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@Jaimz I didn’t read your post until it was too late, so I am rolling with what is there.

Team Redneck Day 2 6-8:00am

After the snowball fight they have a brief discussion about old cars, up until the truck got warm enough to start melting the ice and snow on the hood.

Otis, “We need to get going, we tend to be early risers if you haven’t noticed”

Otis heads for the drivers side, Jake for the passenger side, as they pass the front wheels each one bends over to lock the hubs. Otis eases out of the parking space and heads toward the road where he pops the clutch and does a 4 wheel drift across most of the road. Once straightened out Jake pulls the chord to let out a blast from the train horns mounted under the hood. They pull in for gas before heading onto the freeway making slow but steady progress.

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Legend of Terms:

POI NOTE: Blah blah blah you know the drill by now.

BD: Block Distance. This is the amount of mileage covered during the current 2 hour period.
OD: Overall Distance. This is the total distance that the team has covered since the event started.
AT: Ambient Temperature
FS: Fuel Status. Approximate fuel reading. May also include other fuel related concerns.
MRL: Morale modifier
FTG: Fatigue Level
Last Town: Last town of note that was passed (will not include tiny villages)
Next Waypoint: Should be self explanatory.
Notes: Any notes I have for your team during this time block. Including POI results, car issues, etc.

Friday, 8AM - 10AM

VicVictory:
BD: 51 mi OD: 592 mi AT: 28 F FS: Full MRL: +1 FTG: +2 Last Town: Toronto, ON Next Waypoint: Dynamic Earth (Sudbury, ON)
Notes: Morale note: Car is handling well in the snow. Speed currently limited due to weather conditions. WEATHER CONDITION: Heavy snow.

@Madrias
BD: 50 mi OD: 541 mi AT: 27 F FS: Refuel in progress MRL: +1 FTG: +2 Last Town: Toronto, ON Next Waypoint: Dynamic Earth (Sudbury, ON)
Notes: Team stops to refuel in Toronto at exactly 10am. Morale note: Car is handling well in the snow. WEATHER CONDITION: Snow.

@Mr.Computah
BD: 51 mi OD: 503 mi AT: 27 F FS: 1/2 MRL: +1 FTG: +2 Last Town: Oshawa, ON Next Waypoint: Dynamic Earth (Sudbury, ON)
Notes: Speed currently limited due to chains. Morale note: Car handling well in the snow. WEATHER CONDITION: Snow.

@Jaimz
BD: 53 mi OD: 560 mi AT: 27 F FS: Full MRL: +1 FTG: +2 Last Town: Toronto, ON Next Waypoint: Dynamic Earth (Sudbury, ON)
Notes: Team has refueled in Toronto. WEATHER CONDITION: Snow, heavy at the end.

@Awildgermanappears
BD: 0 mi OD: 368 mi AT: 27 F FS: Full MRL: +1 FTG: -5 Last Town: Kingston, ON Next Waypoint: Dynamic Earth (Sudbury, ON)
Notes: Team iwakes up at 9 am and is ready at 10am. WEATHER CONDITION: Snow.

@BobLoblaw
BD: 43 mi OD: 599 mi AT: 28 F FS: LOW MRL: -2 FTG: +4 Last Town: Toronto, ON Next Waypoint: Dynamic Earth (Sudbury, ON)
Notes: Driver loses control and gets vehicle stuck on a barrier. Tow truck en route. WEATHER CONDITION: Heavy snow.

@Zabhawkin
BD: 51 mi OD: 580 mi AT: 28 F FS: 2/3 MRL: +0 FTG: +3 Last Town: Toronto, ON Next Waypoint: Dynamic Earth (Sudbury, ON)
Notes: Retaining control is difficult. WEATHER CONDITION: Snow, heavy at the end. Team is starting to feel slightly fatigued.

@HighOctaneLove
BD: 78 mi OD: 446 mi AT: 27 F FS: 2/3 MRL: +0 FTG: +0 Last Town: Kingston, ON Next Waypoint: Dynamic Earth (Sudbury, ON)
Notes: Team departs at 8 am. WEATHER CONDITION: Snow, light at the beginning.

@Fayeding_Spray
BD: 45 mi OD: 465 mi AT: 27 F FS: Full MRL: +0 FTG: +2 Last Town: Cobourg, ON Next Waypoint: Dynamic Earth (Sudbury, ON)
Notes: This vehicle is poorly suited to the conditions. Issue has been isolated to a choke that is stuck closed. Team was able to eventually fire up and get the car on the road. Team has refueleld in Belleville. WEATHER CONDITION: Snow, light at the beginning.

@DoctorNarfy
BD: 52 mi OD: 591 mi AT: 28 F FS: LOW MRL: +1 FTG: +2 Last Town: Toronto, ON Next Waypoint: Dynamic Earth (Sudbury, ON)
Notes: Morale note: Car is handling the weather well. WEATHER CONDITION: Snow, heavy at the end.

@FindRED19
BD: 45 mi OD: 548 mi AT: 27 F FS: 2/3 MRL: +0 FTG: +0 Last Town: Toronto, ON Next Waypoint: Dynamic Earth (Sudbury, ON)
Notes: Team has refueled in Oshawa. WEATHER CONDITION: Snow.

@stm316
BD: 37 mi OD: 502 mi AT: 27 F FS: 1/2 MRL: +0 FTG: +0 Last Town: Oshawa, ON Next Waypoint: Dynamic Earth (Sudbury ON)
Notes: Car is poorly suited to the conditions. Team has delayed start until 9am. WEATHER CONDITION: Snow.

@Mythrin
BD: 67 mi OD: 523 mi AT: 27 F FS: 1/3 MRL: +0 FTG: +0 Last Town: Oshawa, ON Next Waypoint: Dynamic Earth (Sudbury, ON)
Notes: None. WEATHER CONDITION: Snow.

@abg7
BD: 60 mi OD: 459 mi AT: 27 F FS: 1/2 MRL: +0 FTG: +2 Last Town: Kingston, ON Next Waypoint: Dyamic Earth (Sudbury, ON)
Notes: Speed currently limited by chains. WEATHER CONDITION: Snow.

@Nicholander

Nicholander
Nicholander962×528 102 KB

BD: 31 mi OD: 604 mi AT: 28 F FS: LOW MRL: -5 FTG: +3 Last Town: Toronto, ON
WEATHER CONDITION: Heavy snow.
CRITICAL FAILURE: Despite slowing down, driver lost control and went nose-first into a barrier. Car is undrivable, but occupants are uninjured.

@LordLetto
BD: 0 mi OD: 368 mi AT: 26 F FS: FULL MRL: +0 FTG: +0 Last Town: Kingston, ON Next Waypoint: Dynamic Earth (Sudbury, ON)
Notes: Team is available to hit the road at 10 am. WEATHER CONDITION: Snow.

@cpufreak101
BD: 38 mi OD: 541 mi AT: 27 F FS: 2/3 MRL: +2 FTG: +2 Last Town: Toronto, ON Next Waypoint: Dynamic Earth (Sudbury, ON)
Notes: Team has stopped for optional POI: Saint Peter’s Catholic Church in Toronto. WEATHER CONDITION: Snow.

Vehicles that are traveling in packs:

Note: vehicles within ~5 miles of each other are within CB range.

Team Moss Boss

“Man, it’s really coming down,” Kyle noted.

Hank nodded silently.

“Still doing OK? Do you need me to take over?”

“I’m fine. We’ll switch in a bit.”

“OK. Well, if it gets to be too much, just pull over. Don’t push it.”

“10-4.”

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Team Thunder Taxi, Part 6

En route to Sudbury, Ontario

Jack had eased off on the accelerator to cope with the conditions better. Meanwhile, Chris was busy pointing out hazards along the route. All was going well so far…

“So, we’re at least a hundred miles behind the leaders, but it’s early days. Hopefully we’ll catch up to them”, Bob told his teammates.

Jack nodded silently, acknowledging Bob’s status update. Meanwhile, Vince had been writing in his logbook about this epic road trip, detailing the team’s exploits. He wondered whether or not any of the racers ahead of him had crashed out in these demanding conditions, only for Chris to answer that question for him.

“We’ve just got word that a yellow compact has gone off the road near Toronto. The car’s wrecked, but the occupants are unharmed.” He could not believe his luck. The Thunder Taxi could gaine one place without overtaking any active competitors as a result of the crash. Considering that it could move even further up the order after the kooky Scandalnavians blew their engine on the previous day, he took this as a good sign; so far, no major mechanical issues had manifested themselves. Even so, the Thunder Taxi was still a long way from the border, and its crew told each other to expect the unexpected.

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V6 Vandals - Day 2 6-8a - “On The Road Again”

“Wow, it’s really starting to chuck it down out here.” Cody said, watching the snow falling around the Truckling, occasionally glancing at the unusual triple-windshield-wiper arrangement scooping snow off of the windshield and flinging it onto the road.

“Handles beautifully in it, though. Still responsive, no understeer or oversteer tendancies, just have to mind my braking distance, and the other traffic.” Luke replied, looking around as they cruised along.

“It’s slow-going, but better to be going slow than sitting around for hours waiting for it to get better.” Jake said, giving a light smile.

“And to think the Rednecks gave us shit for it being front-wheel-drive.” Amy said, chuckling about the situation.

“Well, in all fairness, they do have a proper four-wheel-drive, with the transfer case and everything. They probably have an easier job of driving in this than we do.” Luke responded.

Around 10:00 AM, however, the little Ishu Truckling announced a formal protest to the long drive with a violent shudder as they cruised into Toronto.

“What the hell was that?” Jake grumbled, as Cody yelled, “OW! I just hit my head on the fucking window! Don’t drive through potholes, you prick.”

“Oh. We’re out of gas.” Luke said, coasting into the gas station. With the fuel door opened, Luke stepped out and plunked the nozzle into the fuel filler, selected Premium, and squeezed the handle. Amy got out and wandered into the gas station to buy some snacks, while Jake and Cody looked around to see if they could spot any of their competition.

“Hey, look over there, isn’t that thing the ‘Commie-taisia’ or whatever it’s called?” Cody asked, pointing to the church parking lot.

“Yeah, I think that is a Communitasia. They’re not exactly common cars, so that’s gotta be those jokers cosplaying as Marx and Lenin. I’m just hoping they don’t get themselves shot over a bad joke like that.” Jake said, chuckling.

“Maybe they’re praying to God that they don’t get shot in the US when we have to drive through there.” Cody said.

“Or they could be praying for more snow. Those things could drive through Siberia in winter if they had to.” Luke said, adding a further point to their little discussion.

“That is true. But we’re not doing too bad in this.” Jake responded.

“It gets much worse, I’ll be wanting chains, and I’ve only ever had to chain up in Alaska. This weather makes me wish I had signed out the Storm Surge company car as a write-off at $500. Three cylinders, hybrid, about 50+ MPG and all-wheel-drive with geared differentials. Wouldn’t have been fast, but… I’d have just left at 6 AM and not 30-minutes-after.” Luke said.

“Finding chains would take too much time.” Cody said.

“True, which is why I’m hoping that our cheap eco tires can still grab onto this snow when it starts coming down heavier.”

Morale: +6 (+1) - Feeling lightly confident as their truck handles well in the snow.
Fatigue: +2 (+2) - You try sitting in the cab of a micro truck for two hours and see how you like it.
Waypoints: 3
Fuel: Filling
Fuel Stops: 2

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Team Mountain Pass

Team Bio
Day 2, 6AM - 8AM

Day Two, 8AM to 10AM

We left the Boathouse right on 8AM and hit the road. The roads were slippery and vision wasn’t great (due to the snowfall getting heavier) but we made good progress. This was especially surprising since our Bogliq was RWD and we only had winter tyres installed. I had done some snow familiarisation driving before so I was light on the throttle, deft on the steering and absent on the brakes. This resulted in us making good on our earlier procrastination with almost eighty miles achieved, despite the snow doing its best to try to kill us!

With no plans to stop for lunch (we had supplies, don’t fret) the two hours blurred into a sequence of careful driving, warm HVAC air keeping us tolerably warm and Andrew alternating between looking outside and fiddling with the radio. Thankfully he was unable to locate a country music channel but I knew this wouldn’t last when we reached the good ole USA!

TO BE CONTINUED

Distance covered: 78 miles
Overall distance: 443 miles
Fuel state: 2/3rds full
Overall fuel used: 1 and 1/3rd of a tank
Morale: +0 (+7) No scares or near misses to bring us down!
Fatigue: +0 (-2) Warm heater keeps us from feeling the worst of the weather.

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Team Mushroom Cloud

Day 1, 8:00pm- (closer to) 10:00pm
Having left Kingston behind something just shy of 2 hours ago, Bill had been spending time alternating between navigation and checking his emails, when he looked at his watch and noticed the time.
Bill: It’s getting late, Aunt Toni. Don’t you think we should find somewhere to call it a night? And I’m hungry. It’s must be really cold outside, are we going to drive all night? What if we have an accident?
Wookiee (he had been dozing on and off): Shut it. She knows what she’s doing. What’s with the complaining? You sound like a little kid.
Toni opened her eyes: Huh, what? OH! Ah! yes… umm. Put some music on. Then find somewhere, I think we all need some shut-eye.
Bill looked for a place on the far side of town, to get that little more distance covered (because it really makes that much difference). They JUST made it to Wendy’s before closing time, then hit the hay at their chosen location… a place called the King George.

10:00pm-6:00AM
I won’t go into details about what happened in Toni’s room, but Bill was glad he wasn’t sharing.

Day 2
6:00AM-8:00AM
Bill met Toni and Wookiee for breakfast, and they agreed that the time bomb might fare better if the snow was given time to slow and settle. Plus a little more of a lie in couldn’t hurt. Turned out the snow didn’t feel like slowing or settling, so they may just have gotten themselves into some trouble. Bill took the time to check race details, and was quite pleased (he’s a bit of a prick sometimes) when he found out that 2 competitors had fallen by the wayside.
8:00AM-10:00AM
By 9, they’d started the car (with a degree of difficulty, and it idled like a pig).and prepared to return to the adventure of ice skating… I mean… driving in snow.
Toni: (to the car) It’s either me or you. One of us is going to kill the other. Keep this shit up, and I’ll make my move first.
She turned to the boys, who were debating who had created the yellowest snow beside the building.
Toni: Really? :roll_eyes: GET IN! Bill, you drive.
Bill: I’ve never driven in snow before!
Wookiee: Guess that changes now, bro.
Bill pushed Wookiee just that touch too hard, he tripped and fell.
Wookiee: They were my only pair of gloves!

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Team Shitbox Brothers

Night 1 - Bold move

(You know the drill with the accents)

Ana shifted into third gear. The chains rattled as they helped the wheels gain traction.

Ana: “Told ya, would be a good idea to use these chains. They might be holding us back, but…at least we’re certain we’re gonna make it.”

Alejandro: “Well, we have a lot of catching up to do. The guys on the truckling are way ahead of us.”

Ana: “We’ll catch 'em. Nothing better than a friendly race.”

Alejandro’s phone vibrated, emitting a notification tone. Alejandro unblocked it, reading what he had just received.

Alejandro: “Aaaand another one bites the dust.”

Ana: “Who and what happened?”

Alejandro: “Lads in the yellow coupe. They lost control and plowed into a barrier.”

Ana: “Lads in the yellow car? Can’t remember them. Anyways, we have a long way to go. What will we do in the detour?”

Alejandro: “Play it safe. I’d rather finish the race and lose than risk it and not finish the race due to a breakdown. And we have plenty of kilometres to go and catch up anyways.”

Ana: “Gotcha. Remind me to stop whenever we get out of the snow to remove the chains. Also Ana sips her energy drink remind me to buy more energy drinks on our way.”

Alejandro: “Sure thing.”

The two brothers kept driving southbound, with a lot of catching up to do still, to the sound of Orchid by Dizkodeath, remixed by Christine.

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Gran: David, this snow’s getting worse. Do you think we should stop?

Spanners: Not yet, we’re still making progress. Granted we aren’t going as quickly as normal but at this speed, using the snow chains, we aren’t likely to have an accident.

Mopey: Seems like I made a good decision with this car.

Spanners & Gran: SHHHHHH!!! Don’t jinx us with fate! (Fate being the trip organiser!!!)

Mopey: OK, no need to snap at me! My internet keeps cutting out….there was mention of another competitor out on the Twitter feed….face first into a barrier!

Spanners: People or car?

Mopey: Huh?

Spanners: Sigh Was it the car or the occupants that went face first?

Mopey: Oh, the car. Occupants OK but a bit disappointed.

Gran: Next stop is Dynamic Earth…apparently it’s a science museum. We can stop there, have a look and something fresh to eat.

Mopey: Yeah, they have a giant nickel there. It’s a replica of the 1951 Canadian coin. It was completed in 1964 and the whole thing is about 30ft tall.

Spanners: Wow mate! Who knew you’d be so knowledgeable about Canadian things.

Mopey: I’m not….Wiki is my second best internet friend!

Spanners: Who’s your best internet friend? Buxom Beatrice?

Mopey: NO! Google…….Spanners, you’re weird!

Spanners: Comes with age Georgie boy. You’ll get there eventually. Either that or you’ll go blind!

Gran: Now now boys. Let’s not get snipey. We need to concentrate.

@abg7 - You haven’t passed the stricken car yet…they are still officially leading at the end of this timeframe.

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TEAM OUTRIDERS

Zach: It’s coming down hard now.

Luigi: Yeah, you might want to take it easy.

Blake: Don’t worry, we’ll be fine.

Marc: I’m with those two, we should slow down a bit.

Blake: Okay, okay, I’ll ease up a bit.

Luigi: We should try to find a plow truck and follow behind him.

Blake: More than that, we’ll need to stop for gas soon. She’s really getting low.

Zach: It’s hard to see out there.

Blake: Yeah, this call for… Oh shit! Shit! SHIT! Hang on! (sound of brake pedal pulsating as ABS kicks in)

(WHAM!)

Luigi: Ow!

Blake: Everyone alright?

Luigi: I’ve felt better.

Zach: I’m okay.

Marc: Fine.

(Blake puts the car into reverse and attempts to back off the barrier, unfortunately the car refuses to move.)

Blake: Shit! Let’s see how bad we’re stuck.

Marc: Oh you dumb fuck!

Luigi: How the hell did we get it on the barrier itself?

Blake: Deflected by the push bar I imagine. (looks underneath) Doesn’t look like anything was damaged.

Luigi: No, but getting it off won’t be easy.

Blake: Marc, go put some flares down. The last thing we need is for someone to drift right into us because they couldn’t see. Zach, Luigi, help me with these shingles.

(Marc lights up some road flares to alert other drivers to their presence. Blake, Zach, and Luigi place a number of roofing shingles on the ground under the rear tires, Blake climbs in the drivers seat.)

Blake: Here goes.

(The Enforcer lurches back slightly, but the shingles are thrown forward by the spinning tires.)

Marc: Doesn’t look like enough weight on the ass end.

Luigi: It’s that barrier, it’s propping the car up and supporting most of its weight.

Zach: Then it looks like we’re calling a tow truck.

Blake: Yeah.

Marc: Let’s get a tent set up so we can at least be out of the elements.

Zach: Can’t we just sit in the car?

Marc: We lucked out as far as injuries go, no guarantee that someone won’t plow into us while we’re waiting for a tow truck. Blake, push in the cigarette lighter. Luigi, do we have an empty coffee can in the car?

Luigi: Not empty, I’ve got it full of kindling.

Marc: Empty it out, get some blankets.

(The team is now waiting inside a tent for the tow truck. Using the dashboard lighter inside of a coffee can, they have a viable source of heat while the tent keeps them sheltered from the wind)

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Team Marx

WARNING: GOOGLE TRANSLATE AHEAD

Lenin:snow’s picking up. not that it’s a problem.

Marx: well, at least we got to a church finally.

Lenin: yeah, we need to have a word with God.

Karl Marx and Vladimir Lenin then proceed to enter the church

Lenin: angry look on face Who’s here.

Pastor: comes out to greet them Ah why hello you gu- freezes up when he realizes it’s Karl Marx and Vladimir Lenin in his church I-I thought you guys condemned religion…

Marx: lets just say some complicated stuff came up, and we have a personal fight with God now.

Pastor: H-how so?

Lenin: just sit back and watch. clears throat YO GOD YOU BETTER RESPOND RIGHT F**KING NOW!

GOD: A bit harsh man, you don’t have to say that

Pastor: Eyes light up, he falls to pray but ends up collapsing out of shear excitement

Lenin: It doesn’t matter. we have come to talk to you on your own turf. Tell us, why do you keep bringing us here?

GOD: Does the answer really matter that much?

Marx: F*ck yeah it does

GOD: How so?

Lenin: We had our own lives in the past. I have a country to run, revolts to stop, Wealth to distribute, and Marx has his own book to write.

GOD: Who’s to say you should have done that?

Lenin: if the pastors reaction had anything to do with it, we influence history in a big way.

GOD: Not the right way.

Lenin: It doesn’t matter. We do what we do, and you’re getting in the way of it. My country needs me, and Karl needs to finish writing his book.

GOD: So what? this is for the betterment of my people.

Lenin: If that’s how you feel, answer us one question. Why are you making us go through this? you could have just killed us, but instead you force us to do races. Answer the question.

GOD: It’s a trial.

Marx: A trial of F*cking what?

GOD: I will not tell you now.

Marx: You better f*cking tell us.

GOD: If you want the answer that badly, you’ll have to go through another trial.

Marx: Bring it on f*cker.

God: Just for that, it will not be easy.

At that moment, God has an entity appear in the church, it turns out to be a person forming

Lenin: now who is this?

GOD: you’ll find out soon enough. I have to thank you for coming to a church though, I can only do this sort of thing here.

The entity finishes forming, and wakes up. He speaks German and has a funny mustache.

Marx: Um, hello?

Pastor: wakes up finally oh Lord, Jesus, and Mary… face turns completely white in fear

Marx: you know who he is?

Pastor: that’s… Adolf Hitler…

Lenin: and what’s his issue?

Pastor: He kills jews… he killed six million of them in horrendous ways. So many children of God… dead at his hands.

Marx: locks up and appears to panick

Lenin: Karl, what’s your issue?

Marx: Lenin… I’m Jewish…

Hitler: Notices Karl Marx Ich kenne Sie

Marx: turns white as a ghost No… No you don’t.

Hitler: *appears visibly angry with an apparent bloodlust.

Lenin: Yo Pastor! get me some rope! fast!

Pastor: runs to a back room to get things to restrain Hitler with, things such as giant cross necklaces, thick lent ribbons, and some ropes used to hang a cross from a wall, then proceeds to throw them at Lenin

Lenin: Marx try to get him down!

Marx: dodges Hitler’s first lunge at him, before getting on top and pinning him to the ground. NOW!

Lenin: * proceeds to tie up Hitler’s arms and restrains his legs* Karl, tell this man to calm down, you know German!

Marx Okay, beruhigen.

Hitler: Still trying to attack marx

Marx: Just throw him in the back seat.

hitler has been thrown in the back seat of the communitasia

Marx: versuche ruhig zu bleiben

Hitler: spits at marx

Lenin: welp, time to hit the road.

Adolf Hitler has Joined the team

some distance down the road

Marx: Hey, have you heard one of the teams near of us broke down? not even far off course.

Lenin: Just come in over the CB or something?

Marx: Yeah, someone was reporting and repeating it. perhaps we stop by and see if we can give them a lift.

Lenin: assuming they don’t mind whoever this Hitler guy is rambling in German.

Hitler: du wirst zahlen

Lenin: welp, lets try to get to them. Radio them if you can Marx.

@Nicholander You can pick up from here.

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(… WTF just happened there?)

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(God Hates Communists)

184

Legend of Terms:

POI NOTE: Blah blah blah you know the drill by now.

BD: Block Distance. This is the amount of mileage covered during the current 2 hour period.
OD: Overall Distance. This is the total distance that the team has covered since the event started.
AT: Ambient Temperature
FS: Fuel Status. Approximate fuel reading. May also include other fuel related concerns.
MRL: Morale modifier
FTG: Fatigue Level
Last Town: Last town of note that was passed (will not include tiny villages)
Next Waypoint: Should be self explanatory.
Notes: Any notes I have for your team during this time block. Including POI results, car issues, etc.

Friday, 10AM - 12PM

VicVictory:
BD: 70 mi OD: 662 mi AT: 28 F FS: 2/3 MRL: +0 FTG: +4 Last Town: Barrie, ON Next Waypoint: Dynamic Earth (Sudbury, ON)
Notes: Team spent a good chunk of time period following a snow plow. WEATHER CONDITION: Snow.

@Madrias
BD: 61 mi OD: 602 mi AT: 28 F FS: Full MRL: +0 FTG: +4 Last Town: Barrie, ON Next Waypoint: Dynamic Earth (Sudbury, ON)
Notes: Team has refueled in Toronto. WEATHER CONDITION: Snow.

@Mr.Computah
BD: 43 mi OD: 546 mi AT: 28 F FS: Full MRL: +0 FTG: +4 Last Town: Toronto, ON Next Waypoint: Dynamic Earth (Sudbury, ON)
Notes: Speed currently limited due to chains. Team has refueled in Toronto. WEATHER CONDITION: Snow.

@Jaimz
BD: 63 mi OD: 623 mi AT: 28 F FS: Full MRL: +0 FTG: +4 Last Town: Barrie, ON Next Waypoint: Dynamic Earth (Sudbury, ON)
Notes: None. WEATHER CONDITION: Snow, heavy at the beginning.

@Awildgermanappears
BD: 46 mi OD: 414 mi AT: 28 F FS: 3/4 MRL: +0 FTG: +0 Last Town: Belleville, ON Next Waypoint: Dynamic Earth (Sudbury, ON)
Notes: Team is exercising extreme caution. WEATHER CONDITION: Heavy snow.

@BobLoblaw
BD: 0 mi OD: 599 mi AT: 28 F FS: LOW MRL: -2 FTG: +5 Last Town: Barrie, ON Next Waypoint: Dynamic Earth (Sudbury, ON)
Notes: Tow truck un-sticks the team at about 1130am. Team is currently looking for chains in Barrie. WEATHER CONDITION: Snow.

@Zabhawkin
BD: 50 mi OD: 630 mi AT: 28 F FS: 1/2 MRL: +0 FTG: +6 Last Town: Barrie, ON Next Waypoint: Dynamic Earth (Sudbury, ON)
Notes: Retaining control is difficult. WEATHER CONDITION: Snow, heavy at the beginning. Team is feeling a little tired.

@HighOctaneLove
BD: 53 mi OD: 499 mi AT: 28 F FS: 1/2 MRL: +1 FTG: +2 Last Town: Cobourg, ON Next Waypoint: Dynamic Earth (Sudbury, ON)
Notes: Team is doing well despite no snow experience. WEATHER CONDITION: Heavy snow.

@Fayeding_Spray
BD: 38 mi OD: 503 mi AT: 28 F FS: Full MRL: +0 FTG: +4 Last Town: Oshawa, ON Next Waypoint: Dynamic Earth (Sudbury, ON)
Notes: This vehicle is poorly suited to the conditions. Team has pulled over in Oshawa for safety’s sake. WEATHER CONDITION: Heavy snow.

@DoctorNarfy
BD: 62 mi OD: 653 mi AT: 28 F FS: FULL MRL: +0 FTG: +4 Last Town: Barrie, ON Next Waypoint: Dynamic Earth (Sudbury, ON)
Notes: Team has refueled in Barrie, ON. WEATHER CONDITION: Snow, heavy at the beginning.

@FindRED19
BD: 43 mi OD: 591 mi AT: 27 F FS: 2/3 MRL: +0 FTG: +2 Last Town: Barrie, ON Next Waypoint: Dynamic Earth (Sudbury, ON)
Notes: None. WEATHER CONDITION: Heavy snow.

@stm316
BD: 48 mi OD: 550 mi AT: 28 F FS: 1/4 MRL: +0 FTG: +2 Last Town: Toronto, ON Next Waypoint: Dynamic Earth (Sudbury ON)
Notes: Car is poorly suited to the conditions. WEATHER CONDITION: Heavy snow.

@Mythrin
BD: 55 mi OD: 578 mi AT: 28 F FS: 1/4 MRL: +0 FTG: +2 Last Town: Toronto, ON Next Waypoint: Dynamic Earth (Sudbury, ON)
Notes: None. WEATHER CONDITION: Heavy snow.

@abg7
BD: 60 mi OD: 519 mi AT: 28 F FS: 1/4 MRL: +0 FTG: +3 Last Town: Oshawa, ON Next Waypoint: Dyamic Earth (Sudbury, ON)
Notes: Speed currently limited by chains. WEATHER CONDITION: Heavy snow.

@LordLetto
BD: 30 mi OD: 398 mi AT: 28 F FS: FULL MRL: +0 FTG: +0 Last Town: Kingston, ON Next Waypoint: Dynamic Earth (Sudbury, ON)
Notes: Team has procured a set of chains. Speed currently limited by chains. WEATHER CONDITION: Heavy snow.

@cpufreak101
BD: 50 mi OD: 591 mi AT: 28 F FS: Full MRL: +0 FTG: +3 Last Town: Barrie, ON Next Waypoint: Dynamic Earth (Sudbury, ON)
Notes: Team has refueled in Barrie, ON. WEATHER CONDITION: Heavy snow.

Vehicles that are traveling in packs:

Note: vehicles within ~5 miles of each other are within CB range.

Team Moss Boss

(The team doesn’t have any significant dialogue during this time. They are enjoying the scenery, as the section between Barrie and Sudbury is very sparsely populated. In-cabin lunch consists of cold sandwiches, chips, and soda.)

6 Likes
185

V6 Vandals - Day 2, 8-10a - “Tortoise, or Hare?”

In the cabin of the Truckling, Jake was busy making a quick lunch of grilled ham-and-cheese sandwiches, using the hot-plate and inverter Luke had brought on the trip. “Here you go, Mom. Figure you should have the first one seeing as you’re navigating and all.”

“Thank you.” Amy said, giving a smile before starting in on the sandwich. She was keeping an eye on the GPS provided at the start of the race. “And looks like we’re passing a red blip, so they’re active, even if they’re stopped.”

“Whoa, that’s the Outriders. What’chu think happened to 'em?” Cody asked.

“My guess, they’re looking for snow chains after a close call.” Luke replied.

“Oh. And we’ve got a gray blip about 2 miles ahead of us. The little yellow car of Just Another Racing Team.”

“Ah. I’d been calling them Team JART for a while. I… I hope they didn’t make a lawn dart out of their car.” Luke said, recognizing that his response could be seen as mocking a fallen team, even if it wasn’t intended. “Don’t suppose there’s any info about how they went out yet?”

“Not that I can find. But then again, I’m not looking too hard.” Amy replied.

“If the Outriders weren’t busy, I’d hail them on the CB, see if I could get any information about what happened to them, but some might consider that… Well, a bit rude. Interrupting their search to ask, that is.” Luke said.

“So we’ve fallen into a perpetual state of “Just out of range of everyone’s radio” again.” Jake said.

“Well… To a degree, yes. I can speak and be heard, but cannot hear the replies. Which isn’t useful, and I don’t want to blow out anyone’s speakers, burn up anyone’s radio, or worse, get fined for being well over the radio-signal power limits. After all, just because I’ve got a broad-spectrum broadcast-capable radio antenna array does not mean I have to treat it like one.” Luke said.

“Wait, so you’re saying… Could you overpower a radio station?” Cody asked.

“Short ranges only with you three this close, and that’s highly illegal. I don’t have a broadcast license to do that, so no, I’m not going to annoy people by hijacking their radio stations to play “Never gonna give you up” as we fly past them.”

“Damn it. And here I was hoping you’d have a sense of humor.”

“The same sense of humor that caused you to scare an old lady with fireworks, and then diaper their windshield? Yeah, I heard about that. Also heard you did those one right after the other, rather than just letting them be.”

“Wait, Luke, these two did what exactly?” Amy asked, looking seriously annoyed.

“From what I heard, they launched a firework at one of the other teams in their run. Specifically, over the roof of an old cargo van. Then shortly after doing that, they threw a peanut-butter filled diaper on the windshield.”

“You told me you did that to two different teams!” Amy yelled at Jake, looking rather fierce at that point. “How dare you lie to me! Lied right to my face and all. Be glad I don’t make you walk home!”

Cody snickered, only to turn as white as a ghost when Amy turned to him. “And you, be glad I don’t tie you to the rear bumper and keelhaul your ass all the way to New Orleans!”

“Perhaps causing a mutiny would not be the best course of action?” Luke said. “After all, we’ve got many miles to drive still, and I’d much rather not have to tow a camper behind this thing to separate the team.”

Morale: +6 (NC)
Fatigue: +6 (+4)
Waypoints: 3
Fuel: Full
Fuel Stops: 2

7 Likes
186

Team Mountain Pass

Team Bio
Day 2, 8 to 10AM

Day Two, 10AM to 12 Noon

The next couple of hours saw us make good time. My half remembered snow technique turned out to be quite effective and I soon found myself being seduced by the rhythm of the curves. Andrew, however, had managed to find a really obnoxious country music station which was playing only the most obscure, untalented and downright painful tracks they could find. This lasted no longer than a half hour when Andrew, seeing that I was unperturbed, gave up and listened to K-Pop instead. Meanwhile the snow was getting steadily heavier. What was only a light dusting at 8AM was now a constant stream with the wipers barely able to keep up. But we seemed to be coping with the extra difficulty so I slowed down a bit which made it easier to see and I cranked the internal heat as high as it would go so we wouldn’t freeze!

On noon we stopped on the side of the road to eat our lunch (thanks again Kyle) the continued on our way, hoping the snow would let up sooner rather than later…

TO BE CONTINUED

Distance covered: 53 miles
Overall distance: 496 miles
Fuel state: 1/2 full
Overall fuel used: 1 and 1/2 of a tank
Morale: +1 (+8) We’re making good time
Fatigue: +2 (0) Walk without rhythm and you won’t attract the worm!

5 Likes
187

Gran: These conditions are quite tiresome but I’m finding it easier to get into the groove.

Mopey: I’m still struggling at the start but then by the time I get into it, I’m knackered!

Spanners: All down to experience mate. From what I hear the winter of ’62-’63 was bad.

Gran: Oh, don’t get me started on that winter. We had ice and snow for MONTHS! Roads were a lot less treated than you get these days. People had to know how to drive back then.

Mopey sarcastically : Really gran?

Gran: Oh yes and don’t get me started on……what are they called?..Oh yes, the “snowflakes” of today who have to have the schools closed!!! When I was a girl I had to WALK to school….2 miles, hail, rain, snow or shine………

……20 minutes later………

Gran: ……these people, today, don’t know how lucky they are.

Spanners: I could do with a beer tonight. I’ll pick some up next time we stop.

Mopey: Cool, I could do with one or two myself.

Gran: GEORGE HARCOURT-ENTWHISTLE!!! You shouldn’t be drinking at your age!!!

Spanners: Anyway, it’s illegal here. You have to be 18, 19 in some parts, to drink alcohol.

Mopey: Yeah, but no-one will know, will they?

Gran: NO George.

Spanners: Look kiddo, if you need to drive and have an accident then the police will come smell beer on you and then we are all in trouble.

Mopey: Stoooopid Canada……stoooopid rules.

Spanners: It’s getting close to lunch time. We’ll either stop at a truckstop, and get a hot meal, or we’ll stop in a scenic spot and eat some hot gruel. Either way, I need to eat.

4 Likes
188

Sorry, couldn’t resist.

TEAM OUTRIDERS

Blake: Christ, how long does it take for a tow truck to arrive?

Marc: Well, let’s see. It’s snowing like crazy, and a big truck like that probably isn’t the best thing to drive swiftly in the snow, so I’d say it would take a while. Especially since the driver isn’t trying to crash into a barrier.

Blake: How long are you gonna hold that over me?

Marc: Until we win one of these.

Luigi: That may not happen you know.

Marc: Then I guess I’ll just have to ride his ass indefinitely then.

Zach: Phrasing!

(Some time later)

Zach: There’s a tow truck!

(The tow truck arrives, and turns on strobes and flashers. The driver gets out.)

Driver: Great, another one.

Marc: Compliments of this horse’s ass! (points to Blake)

Driver: Well, let’s get you free.

Luigi: Without damaging the car I hope.

Driver: Relax, our company works with the RCMP a lot. I’ve dealt with my share of these.

(With meticulous care, the driver positions the truck, hooks it up to the Enforcer. With some effort he manages to get the car free.)

Marc: At least the car doesn’t look damaged. How much?

Driver: $150*

Marc: (counts money out of his wallet) There’s $160, keep the difference.

Driver: Thanks.

Blake: Okay, let’s go.

Marc: Not so fast! I’m driving. We’re gonna find us some chains for the tires.

Blake: I can handle it.

Luigi: Let him drive, I want to finish this trip alive.

Blake: Fine.

(The team is currently in Barrie looking for snow chains)

*I do not know what the going rate for tow trucks is in Canada so I took a guess.

2 Likes
189

My Reaction to Team Marx:

1 Like
190

Team Redneck 10:00-12:00 Dashing through the snow with a big Redneck Sled

Comming around another curve in the highway the truck starts sliding sideways which sees the big truck taking up both lanes and the shoulders before straigtening out.

Otis, “Whoa whoaoohhhh shhhhhhhh… whew. How much further to Sudbury?”

Jake, “Bout 120 miles, about 5 hours at this rate if we manage to stay on the road”

Otis, “Tempted to pull the rear driveshaft and turn this thing into a front wheel drive”

Jake, “You know the Vandals wouldn’t let us live that down”

Otis, “They don’t need to find out, any word on chains yet”

Jake, “Yeah, about 130 miles behind us, or 120 miles ahead of us, but still looking”

Otis, “I think we need to get off the road, my arms, and butt cheeks are getting tired, find us a place to eat if you can”

Jake, “Yeah sure thing.”

2 Likes