Q: What is this.
A: This is the 1988 Jager LTC (Luxury Touring Coupe), dumbass.
Q: I can read thanks.
A: It’s the savior of the american auto industry, the most technologically ambitious car ever built.
Q: Which means?
A: It’s a mess of superbly 1980s and horrendously unreliable electronics and the finest american automobile engineering from the 1960s, such as unreadable LCD Displays, Floppy Disc based Satellite Navigation, a Trip computer that keeps you awake by constantly shouting at you in an irritating electronic voice about all the electrical failures (thats a safety feature), Electronically modulated suspension even though it still has a live rear axle, a shitty “High Output” 5.3L pushrod V8 with EFI and variable intake runners, and a three-speed automatic transmission with overdrive.
Q: Brilliant. Is it at least well built?
A: No. At all cost avoid cars that were built on mondays and tuesdays, and if it was built on a friday you’re basically dead already. But ones built on wednesdays and thursdays are quite solid.
Q: Is it at least fast?
A: No, unless you pay $2,600 for the ESS package (ESS= “Euro” Style Suspension) with the 5-speed. Then it’ll do 0-62 in under 6 seconds and top out at 150+mph. But only if it was built on a wednesday.
Q: Sounds great, where is the next Zavir dealer?
A: At the intersection between Mark VIIth St. and Eldorado Ave.
Q: Why does this POS have its own thread?
A: Because this will be the thread for all future cars made by Jager, Rockway and Doberman. They are my very own version of glorious 1980s GM with some FoMoCo and Chrysler thrown into the mix. Don’t worry, other decades will be present as well.