Suzie, “Just before Arjeplog take a right onto Slagnasvagen, it looks like the turn is in the middle of the lake.”
Some time later as they approach Adak
Jake, “Hey look there is the 1.8 LGE, Galamarini, C15, hey theirs Luke and the rest of the vandals.
Suzie, “That’s Luke?”
Jake, “Yep, I told you he was an android”
Suzie, “Well that makes better sense, I thought you meant a phone.”
Jake pulls up next to the Vandals, “Hey yall, hows it goin.”
Luke looked over at Jake from Team Redneck while he was busy fueling the Sinistra Swift, then said, “I’ve been better. Got a pretty bad fluid leak, but what do you expect from 18 year old rubber hoses? Especially given what I’ve put 'em through.” Luke’s brass-chain hair rattled and clinked as he moved, though he did shake Jake’s hand.
After a few introductions between the Vandals and Suzie of team Redneck, and a bit of sharing information between the teams about the cars, in which the Vandals learned the Redneck Express really hadn’t changed that much, and the Rednecks learned about the Vandals’ “new” 1987 Sinistra Swift, and its 3.9 liter V6, the Vandals got back into their car, just in time for the Rednecks to hear Cody complaining about the wet seat.
Team KANSEI DORIFTO
James: *pulling out his earbuds for the first time since the car spun that morning “It’s almost noon, wanna stop for something to eat?”
Jessica: “I’m hungry as Hell and my back has pretty much exploded at this point, could you have bought anything with a touch of refinement? Not to mention those asshats screaming over the CB radio, they deserved the speeding ticket.”
James: "This was a rare find, though I didn’t consider that we’d have to go 3400 miles in these shitty seats. And they may be asshats, but they’ve made it 55 miles further than us. Hey, let’s stop here, it looks like a cozy little restaurant. "
Jessica: “Doesn’t look like an In-N-Out Burger to me.”
James: “Did you really expect anything normal to eat when you agreed to this?”
Jessica: “Hey, you told me there was a Burger King when you visited Stuttgart, so as far as I was concerned anything’s possible.”
They pulled into the tiny little parking lot with the 9500 RPM I6 screaming to a stop and the vented disc brakes biting down hard.
The two brothers are cruising at a moderate pace, both frowning slightly.
Ana: “Who did these assholes in the Keika think they are?”
Alejandro: “Bunch of dicks, I tell you.”
Ana: “You know what Ale? I’m not okay with this.”
Ana dropped a gear, letting the inline 4 scream its way through the rev range as the SC increased its speed. Not much later, the two brothers saw the Keika pulled over by the police. Alejandro quickly lowered his window, smiling sarcastically at team Getaway Plan.
Alejandro: “WHO’S LAUGHING NOOOOOOW?”
Alejandro then closed his window again, with Ana laughing as much as she could without losing her focus on the road.
Ana: “Oh yeah, they had that one coming.” She then grabbed the radio microphone, sending Getaway Plan a quick message before they got out of range. “So who are the suckers now, eh?”
Several sounds and insults came out of the other side of the radio. And with that sweet karmic victory for the Brothers, the blindingly pink Caliban dissappeared in the horizon once more, with still a whole lot of race to go.
To be continued.
(@BoostandEthanol it’s your turn 
)
The Ditane is stopped for fueling at OKQ8 Arjeplog , Mandy buying bags of crisps, chocolate and some drinks whilst Connor is fueling up the car.
Mandy finishes paying in the fuel station shop and starts to hear the faint screaming of an approaching 4 cylinder as the Pink Caliban of The Shitbox Brothers hurtles past the petrol station she catches a glimpse of a smug face in the window looking at the Ditane as the SC shot past and disapeared into the distance.
After realizing what had happened Connor starts the car and jumps into the passenger seat only to be hit by a shower of crisp packets and Loka bottled water through the window Mandy jumped into the drivers seat and gave a bootfull to the accelerator peddle leaving a cloud of tire smoke behind and causing the rear heavy Ditane to rear up and give maximum rear grip.
“Shit shit shit did anyone else pass us Connor ?” said Mandy frantically.
“No just the Caliban” replied Connor gripping on for grim death.
“Good that means those bastards in that Keika are still behind us they must’ve been delayed” said Mandy quickly changing gear and still climbing in speed.
“Serve’s em right it’s just us and the Caliban then” said Connor who was now gripping the seat tighlty.
“Let’s real them in then” replied Mandy.
…and with that fat-bottomed Ditane sped off into the distance in search of the Caliban.
NOON - 3PM
Some vehicles have passed the checkpoint in Dorotea and is now on the third leg of the course, Dorotea-Härjedalen.
All results are written as integers to make it easier to read. Though I am of course using decimals when calculating the results.
Team Hillbilly rollers / Knugcab
Noon - 1 PM
Notes: None
Distance: 616 km
1 PM - 2 PM
Notes: None
Distance: 725 km
2 PM - 3 PM
Notes: None
Distance: 834 km
Fuel: 16 litres
Money: $1978.01
Fatigue: 45%
Team V6 Vandals / @Madrias
Noon - 1 PM
Notes: None
Distance: 703 km
1 PM - 2 PM
Notes: None
Distance: 815 km
2PM - 3PM
Notes:CHECKPOINT PASSED: Dorotea
Distance: 926 km
Fuel: 12 litres
Money: $1310
Fatigue: 34%
Team Thunderstruck / @Fayeding_Spray
Noon - 1 PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Arjeplog
Team stopped for buying a new distributor cap ($44) at OKQ8 Arjeplog, took some hot dogs at the same time.
Distance: 562 km
1PM - 2PM
Notes: None
Distance: 670 km
2PM - 3PM
Notes: Team members is suffering from fatigue, stopping to rest and take a look at the scenery at the lake of Kåtaträsk.
Distance: 670 km
Fuel: 11 litres
Money: $4818.35
Fatigue: >100%
Team Harcourt-Entwhistle / @Jaimz
Noon - 1PM
Notes: None
Distance: 682 km
1PM - 2PM
Notes: None
Distance: 791 km
2PM - 3PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Dorotea
Distance: 913 km
Fuel: 23 litres
Money: $4299.91
Fatigue: 45%
Team New Life / @VicVictory
Noon - 1PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Arjeplog
Team is stopping for some hot dogs at OKQ8 Arjeplog
Distance: 564 km
1PM - 2PM
Notes: None
Distance: 670 km
2PM - 3PM
Notes: Team is refuelling at QStar, Kattisavan.
Distance: 750 km
Fuel: 46 litres
Money: $4145
Fatigue: 45%
Team Mountain pass / @HighOctaneLove
Noon - 1PM
Notes: None
Distance: 602 km
1PM - 2PM
Notes: None
Distance: 699 km
2PM - 3PM
Notes: None
Distance: 796 km
Fuel: 15 litres
Money: $6999.36
Fatigue: 68%
Team Off Constantly / @Obfuscious
Noon - 1PM
Notes: None
Distance: 584 km
1PM - 2PM
Notes: None
Distance: 681 km
2PM-3PM
Notes: Moose was crossing the road. Panic braking caused the rear wheels to lock up, making the car skid around 180 degrees and end up against the traffic on the wrong side of the road. No damage to anything.
Distance: 754 km
Fuel: 31 litres
Money: $5966.17
Fatigue: 68%
Team Two lone wolves / @Aaron.W
Noon-1PM
Notes: None
Distance: 721 km
1PM - 2PM
Notes: None
Distance: 845 km
2PM - 3PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Dorotea
Team stopped for refuelling at OKQ8 Dorotea
Distance: 966 km
Fuel: 33 litres
Money: $1993.69
Fatigue: 77%
Team Kansei Dorifto / @Watermelon3878
Noon - 1PM
Notes: None
Distance: 719 km
1PM - 2PM
Notes: Car got hit from behind by a lady in a white early 90s Saab 900, who escaped from the scene. Team had to put some straps to hold the mangled bootlid in the closed position
Distance: 812 km
2PM - 3PM
Notes: Team is suffering from fatigue and is taking a rest enjoying the scenery at the lake of Baksjön.
Distance: 812 km
Fuel: 27 litres
Money: $2933.07
Fatigue: >100%
Team Redneck / @Zabhawkin
Noon - 1PM
Notes: None
Distance: 724 km
1PM - 2PM
Notes: None
Distance: 840 km
2 PM - 3 PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Dorotea
Distance: 967 km
Fuel: 14 litres
Money: $2098.04
Fatigue: 68%
Team MV Design / @Marcus_gt500
Noon - 1 PM
Notes: None
Distance: 672 km
1 PM - 2 PM
Notes: None
Distance: 775 km
2 PM - 3 PM
Notes: Norwegian tourist in a DAAG Campervan was distracted by his kids fighting in the back of the van, failing to notice the car of the team when making a left turn, vehicles hit each other corner to corner. Since both vehicles only suffered cosmetical damage, both parts changed phone numbers and agreed to solve this later.
Distance: 852 km
Fuel: 23 litres
Money: $9655.48
Fatigue: 68%
Team Shitbox / @Mr.Computah
Noon - 1PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Dorotea
Team refuelled and took some hot dogs at OKQ8 Dorotea
Distance: 862 km
1 PM - 2 PM
Notes: None
Distance: 946 km
2 PM - 3 PM
Notes: None
Distance: 1094 km
Fuel: 38 litres
Money: $3024.07
Fatigue: 95%
Team Stm316 / @stm316
Noon - 1PM
Notes: None
Distance: 741 km
1 PM - 2 PM
Notes: None
Distance: 850 km
2PM - 3PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Dorotea
Team stopped for refuelling at OKQ8 Dorotea
Distance: 883 km
Fuel: 47 litres
Money: $3159.80
Fatigue: 45%
Team Green Gunners / @abg7
Noon - 1PM
Notes: None
Distance: 780 km
1PM - 2PM
Notes: Team has stopped for hot dogs and refuelling at OKQ8 Vilhelmina
Distance: 811 km
2PM - 3PM
Notes: When coming back to the car from the gas station, someone had reversed into it and left the scene. The rear bumper was hanging to the ground and had to be duct taped in place.
CHECKPOINT PASSED: Dorotea
Distance: 889 km
Fuel: 48 litres
Money: $2048.31
Fatigue: 68%
Team Supreme Cream / @Awildgermanappears
RACE OVER!
Covered distance: 805 km
Team Letto / @LordLetto
Noon - 1 PM
Notes: None
Distance: 649 km
1PM - 2 PM
Notes: Instrument panel and climate control dead, fuses had to be changed.
Distance: 723 km
2 PM - 3 PM
Notes: None
Distance: 822 km
Fuel: 25 litres
Money: $8235
Fatigue: 45%
Team Bakewell Tart / @Mythrin
Noon - 1PM
Notes: Team is stopping for pizza at Lilla Fjället, Vilhelmina
Distance: 807 km
1PM - 2PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT 2 PASSED (Dorotea)
Distance: 951 km
2PM - 3PM
Notes: None
Distance: 1104 km
Fuel: 15 litres
Money: $2864.55
Fatigue: 68%
Team REE / @Detsikeulii
Noon - 1PM
Notes: None
Distance: 809 km
1PM - 2PM
Notes: Team stopped at OKQ8 Vilhelmina for refuelling and some hot dogs
Distance: 822 km
2PM-3PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT 2 PASSED (Dorotea)
Distance: 923 km
Fuel: 36 litres
Money: $2957.32
Fatigue: 45%
Team Operation BIRD / @Elizipeazie
Noon - 1PM
Notes: None
Distance: 660 km
1 PM - 2 PM
Notes: None
Distance: 764 km
2 PM - 3 PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT 2 PASSED (Dorotea)
Distance: 870 km
Fuel: 10 litres
Money: $5529
Fatigue: 45%
Team Bunnysquad / @Mikonp7
Noon - 1PM
Notes: None
Distance: 666 km
1 PM - 2 PM
Notes: None
Distance: 802 km
2PM - 3 PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT 2 PASSED (Dorotea)
Distance: 900 km
Fuel: 9 litres
Money: $2656.56
Fatigue: 52%
Team Getaway Plan / @BoostandEthanol
Noon - 1PM
Notes: Team has stopped for refuelling and some hot dogs at OKQ8 Vilhelmina
Distance: 822 km
1PM - 2PM
Notes:CHECKPOINT 2 PASSED (Dorotea)
Distance: 920 km
2PM - 3PM
Notes: None
Distance: 1070 km
Fuel: 40 litres
Money: $1643.46
Fatigue: 68%
Team Sippppp / @TheElt
Noon - 1PM
Notes: None
Distance: 727 km
1PM - 2PM
Notes: None
Distance: 837 km
2PM - 3PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT 2 PASSED ( Dorotea)
Distance: 962 km
Fuel: 33 litres
Money: $2057
Fatigue: 68%
Team Dust Devils / @DukeOFhazards
Noon - 1PM
Notes: None
Distance: 668 km
1PM - 2PM
Notes: None
Distance: 779 km
2PM - 3 PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT 2 PASSED (Dorotea)
Distance: 894 km
Fuel: 6 litres
Money: $5057
Fatigue: 45%
Gran: I have to say, I really do enjoy these trips we’ve started to partake in. Reminds me of the 1966 Great Archanian Trek I took with your grandfather. We left your father and aunt with some relatives and took off in an old army vehicle my dear George had rebuilt. We also did a trip around Europe, for our honeymoon. Those were glorious days.
Spanners: So, Mrs E, you’ve done a lot of touring?
Gran: Well, not so much after the children arrived, but we did go away on a lot of holidays….mostly to places within a couple of hours from George’s army base.
Mopey: I like these trips too Gran. I’ve decided that I want to leave the 6th form and go to college after the holidays.
Gran: Really? And what do you want to study? Economics? Politics? Accountancy?
Mopey: Engineering.
Gran: Ah, just like your grandfather.
Mopey: Automotive engineering………
Gran: Oh, what branch of engineering is that then dear?
Spanners: He wants to be a mechanic Mrs E.
Gran: A WHAT??? I most assuredly know that that is NOT going to happen!!! Do you know what sort of people become mechanics??? Neanderthals! That’s who….
Spanners: Erm, Mrs E, I’m a mechanic.
Gran: Yes dear, I understand. George Harcourt-Entwhistle the third, you are NOT becoming a mechanic!
Mopey: But Spanners has said that I can work for him when I am learning….
Gran: DAVID???
Spanners: Erm……well……it was something we were discussing but I did say we’d have to speak to his parents……and you!
Gran: Really??? But it’s all been arranged hasn’t it?
Mopey: Well, not really……I’ve spoken to the college……and the school……and Spanners…….and…erm……I haven’t really thought past that point.
Spanners: Ooh, look we’re coming to Dorotea.
Gran: WHO GIVES A DAMN ABOUT DOROTEA!!!
Mopey: We’re making good time and it’s quite a nice count……
Gran: We’ll be talking about this when we get home……
Silence ensues……
TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS
The team is coming close to Team Letto, that seems to have some electrical problems, since the car is parked at the side of the road with the fuse box open…
JANNE: Hahaha, finally we are passing that little crapmobile at least, let’s honour the team in the only worthy way!
(A LOUD HONK OF THE DIXIE HORN!)
MARIE: HAHA, look, he dropped the whole package with fuses to the ground, I guess he has to change his pants now too!
(a rather uneventful hour later)
ANDREAS: Do you see that tow truck in front of us?
MARIE: Of course I can see a big tow truck, do you think that I’m blind?
ANDREAS: Oh, you’re so stupid! Look at the SUV thing on the tow truck, didn’t we see it at the starting line?
JANNE: Oh yes, we did, one less competitor then! Let’s honour him in the only worthy way then!
(ANOTHER VERY LOUD HONK OF THE DIXIE HORN!)
And so, a black IP was passing a red and yellow Volvo FL6 tow truck like a rocket, with a raspy roar from its exhaust pipes, if it had been a book it would have been driving into the sunset, but in the summertime there is hardly any sunsets in the land of the midnight sun…
A bassboosted EDM Intro starts to play
The intro fades to black an we see Kevin standing outside
"ELLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOO EVERYBUNNY. Here is the man, the only, BunnBrother, still live from the Meatball. And a lot of people asked me ‘Oi BunnBro, what does your engine look like?’. Too which i can say that not only will we take a look at the engine on this thing but also learn how to replace a radiator hose! Because it seems like the previous owner didnt do a good job with that…
Oh yeah on my side today: LizzyBunny! Say hi!"
the cam pans to Lizzy and Carla sitting on the sidewalk drinking some coffee
Both of them do a sleepy wave while drinking there coffee
“Good enough. So yeah. For this you dont need a lot of tool…”
In the car after everything has been repaired
“So you think its gonna hold?” Carla askes
“We will see. I just try not to instantly break it again. Just some smooth driving”
“At least now we got some content for the daily upload!”
(Even though I know it’s nice, I’m gonna stop with the previous post linkbacks for this challenge.)
Cody had his foot to the floor, and the Sinistra Swift’s 3.9 liter V6 roared angrily down the road as team V6 Vandals tried to make a bit more progress.
“How’s it going up there?” Jake asked.
“My ass is soaked with motor oil, but at least the engine’s not going ticky-ticky-boom on us. A little rattly, but, well, it’s an old Sinistra. Of course it’s full o’ squeaks and rattles. You’re readin’ the engine, how’s it doing?” Cody replied.
“About as expected. Nothing out of range yet, and she’s adjusting fuel trims to match the new style of driving.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, it’s never been driven with the throttle pinned to the floor before, so it’s lost throttle calibration. Says you’ve got the throttle open 112 percent.” Jake said.
“So, is that good or bad?” Amy asked, looking over the seat back.
“Depends on how Old Man Sinistra calibrated it. I’d guess, more likely than not, it’ll do what any of our Storm cars would do, and next calibration cycle, which it runs about once every hour, it’ll set that 112% to 100% and be done with it. That’s my guess because that’s what it seems to be doing right now, running 100% values despite the throttle reading being off.”
After a few minutes, Jake confirmed with, “Yep, 100% throttle now. Guess you really did buy it from an old lady, Cody.”
“Well, it was cheap. Well, cheap-ish. And it ran well, so I didn’t feel we’d be getting a lemon.” Cody replied.
“Yeah, not sure what kind of lemonade we could make with this car if it went bad.” Luke said, getting a laugh out of everyone.
Team Off Constantly
Danielle: “Moose ahead on the road shoulder.”
Melissa: “I see it.” She gave the horn two quick taps, hoping to alert the moose to their presence. The moose lifted its head and gazed in their direction, ears perked. “It sees us. We’re good.” She gave the horn a long blast, intending to let the beast know she meant business. With a gleam in its eye, the moose trotted out into the road, headed straight for the Tazio. “Holy Wah!!” She hammered the brakes hard, but as the moose advanced, it was clear they wouldn’t stop in time. “Shit shit shit!!!” She sawed the wheel right, then left in a “flick” type maneuver, spinning the car and coming to rest facing backwards in the oncoming lane. The back of the car settled, then began to bounce.
D: “What the…” Danielle turned around and saw moose drool dripping down the rear window, and the largest package she’d ever seen thumping against the rear of the car. She screamed. Melissa gunned the engine and dumped the clutch. Tires screeching, she swung it back into the correct lane and rocketed away. The moose bellowed as the car went out from under it, sprawling in the road. Both women spent the next several minutes in silent shock.
D: “Were we just…?”
M: “Not a word. Not. A. Word.”
I officially hate you and everything you will ever write
What have I done now???
That was ballsy.
I’ll see myself out now.
Day One: Noon - 3PM
I bet when you turned to this article you were expecting adventure, excitement and disaster, right? Well my friend, you are wrong! Nothing happened at all. Nil. Nada. Nothing to see here, move along…
I saw trees, listened to scratchy Country music thanks to the shit Bogliq beancounters and reflected on just how little of long distance driving is actually all that exciting… I was also annoyed at Pierre a little bit because his strategy was working; the commuter spec Bogliq was running like a remarkably well fitted together knock-off of a Swiss watch!
Well… I suggest tuning in tomorrow to see whether we’re still going strong or if I’m writing this via the bus home to the Australian Consulate!
Stats:
Distance travelled - 796Km
Fuel used - 54 litres
Money remaining - $6,999.36
Fatigue level - 68%
12:47; early afternoon
State of team:
Redwood: Excited; currently driving; Focused on road
Tonsom: Bored of long-distance driving; passenger seat
Connor: “passive mode/ hibernation” -> staring at Tonsom’s headrest; Rear right seat
Tonsom: “Well… anyone got some interesting stories?”
[Connor exits hibernation; then pulls out a coin and does some fancy ass tricks with it on the rear seat]
Redwood: [having noticed about one third of these coin tricks] “Whoah… Can you teach me some of them later?”
Tonsom: “What was that even for?”
[Connor looks at Redwood in the interior mirror reflection]
Connor: “If we have time, maybe.”
[Connor turns to Tonsom]
Connor: “What else should i do when we are not working on our mission? You are the head of team.”
Tonsom: “Fuck… THAT mission we had… well… if someone is in range, call them.”
[Tonsom hands the CB handle to Connor]
[Connor starts transmitting]
“This is Charlie from Operation BIRD to any Team Vehicle within range. Please report if anyone can hear us. We would like having a little chat.”
[Connor stops transmitting, waiting for an answer]
Tonsom: “We´ll se if there is anyone there…”
OOC:
@Mikonp7 you are the only player within range
somehow we missed each other at the pizza place lol
Mandy accelerates out of the corner and in the distance is the unmistakably pink Caliban SC, Mandy pins the throttle to the floor and gases it to the Shitbox Brothers.
Connor turns on the CB radio and sends a quick “Look behind you” over the channel as the Ditane gains distance on the other team, closing the gap until the windows were side by side.
Through the window Ana of the Shitbox Brothers was fully accelerating but Mandy pressed her foot fully down yet again and the Ditane roared past the infuriated Ana and Alejandro.
“Back in first yet again” said Connor to a grinning Mandy with an equally wide smile across his face then looking back at the slowly dropping back SC.
Mandy then grabbed the mic and gives the other team a taunting “See ya” as they disappear around the next bend. This was followed by a rather fustrated reply from the Caliban.
@Mr.Computah you’re up 
The Brothers had relaxed their pace, knowing they were in the lead, not wanting to put too much stress on the engine. This would change, however, when their radio beeped, receiving a brief yet concise message from Bakewell Tart: “Look behind you”. Ana looked at her rear view mirror, seeing the dreaded sports car quickly approach them. Ana floored it after dropping a gear, trying to get these sweet ratios for maximum acceleration; Bakewell Tart had way too much momentum, however, making it impossible for the SC to recover.
Mandy: “See ya!”
Ana grabbed the microphone, her voice tone slightly frustrated.
Ana: “See ya? More like we’ll see about that.”
A laugh came from the other side of the radio, seconds before Mandy replied again.
Mandy: “Alright, bring it.”
Alejandro: “We sure will. Get ready, boys.”
Increasing their pace, the Shitbox Brothers dissappeared in the horizon once again, now in second place. Will they recover their first place? Will Bakewell Tart manage to keep the Brothers at bay? Only time will tell…and as they did so, the next song in Alejandro’s playlist popped up.
@Mythrin and back to you 
