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The 2018 Meatball run - Day 2 1PM-4PM


#81

Team Green Gunners, Prologue

One morning, Tom and Bob met up near a secluded garage somewhere in Sweden, discussing whether or not they would enter the long, grueling Meatball Run that was about to start.

Tom: “You know what, Bob? Our fathers have a decent racing history, and if we enter the Meatball Run, we’ll have a chance to do justice to our fathers’ legacies.”

Bob: “Sounds like fun to me. I have a car that’s ready for this long road race. Come and see.”

Bob opened the garage door, whipped off the nearest car cover and showed him a dark green sports coupe.

“It’s a '92 Genra GST-30 Coupe. A rare two-seater manual example in Deep Emerald Metallic. I bought it for just under 13 grand recently, which leaves us with more than $2000 to spare for (un)expected expenses during the race.”

Tom knew that their choice of car would be easy to justify based on raw performance. “With over 300 horsepower on tap from its turbocharged straight-six, relative lack of weight, and a well-sorted RWD chassis, I would not be surprised if the GST-30 has the pace to keep up with the opposition - although reliability will be another matter considering the car’s age.”

At any rate, the deal to enter the Meatball Run with the GST-30 was sealed. Bob was in high spirits as the countdown to the race began to tick down: “We’re calling ourselves the Green Gunners, after the color of our car. Are you ready for what could be a really long road trip?”

Tom approved of the plan right away. “Definitely. Please take us to the start line, then.”

And so Bob fired up the engine and drove in the direction of the starting line for the Meatball Run.


#82

Some more info on Operation BIRD

found some time to do it; also thanks Computah

[Tonsom, Redwood and Connor are seated in their, according to Tonsom “default driving positions”. Connor is driving with Redwood next to him with earphones plugged in, Tonsom occupying the rear right seat]
Tonsom:
[double checks if CB-radio is off] “Alright… my boss forced me to do this kind of crap with you guys. So lets get this done and try to at least achieve something related to our mission.”
Connor:
“I will do anything in my power to achieve what we were told to. I won´t let us fail our mission!”
[Tonsom looks at Connor in slight anger, remembering “the Accident”. He is certain that it was caused by Connors determination.]
Tonsom:
[with a slightly aggressive voice] “Just do NOT get us killed, you got that?”
Connor:
[calmly looking straight ahead down the road] “Got it.”

[Connor starts the Damien-Benoît Lumineux Sportec thanks to @Mr.Computah for supplying the car and rolls over to the start line]

to be continued…


#83

RESULTS DAY 1, 6AM-9AM

All vehicles are still on the first route, Riksgränsen-Arjeplog.


542 km, mostly country roads that’s quite empty this time of the day, though passing through some small municipalities. The weather is lightly pouring rain, some small amounts of fog, nothing that affects driveability. CB range is about 10 km if you want to contact another team.

All results are written as integers to make it easier to read. Though I am of course using decimals when calculating the results.


Team Hillbilly rollers / Knugcab
6 AM - 7 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 122 km
7 AM - 8 AM
Notes: Team has to swerve for a reindeer. Car ending up in ditch undamaged. Back on the road quickly after that
Distance: 214 km
8 AM - 9AM
Notes: None
Distance: 336 km

Fuel: 11 litres
Money: $2110
Fatigue: 15%

Team V6 Vandals / @Madrias
6 AM - 7 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 130 km
7 AM - 8 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 260 km
8 AM - 9AM
Notes: Team stopped for refuelling at the OKQ8 station in Porjus. Cost $70.64.
Distance: 358 km

Fuel: 42 litres
Money: $1420.36
Fatigue: 11%

Team Thunderstruck / @Vri404
6 AM - 7 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 121 km
7 AM - 8 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 242 km
8 AM - 9AM
Notes: Cheap aftermarket brake pads on the car got glazed after some inspired driving. New ones bought and installed at the OKQ8 gas station in Gällivare. Price $59.

Team had to slow down due to being followed by the cops for a while.
Distance: 292 km

Fuel: 13 litres
Money: $4951
Fatigue: 38%

Team Harcourt-Entwhistle / @Jaimz
6 AM - 7 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 124 km
7 AM - 8 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 248 km
8 AM - 9AM
Notes: None
Distance: 372 km

Fuel: 22 litres
Money: $4393
Fatigue: 15%

Team New Life / @VicVictory
6 AM - 7 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 121 km
7 AM - 8 AM
Notes: Flat tyre, had to be changed for a full size spare at the side of the road
Distance: 212 km
8 AM - 9AM
Notes: Team had to refuel at the OKQ8 gas station in Gällivare. Price $67.03.
Distance: 303 km

Fuel: 42 litres
Money: $4311
Fatigue: 15%

Team Mountain pass / @HighOctaneLove
6 AM - 7 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 110 km
7 AM - 8 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 220 km
8 AM - 9AM
Notes: None
Distance: 330 km

Fuel: 19 litres
Money: $7089
Fatigue: 23%

Team Off Constantly / @Obfuscious
6 AM - 7 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 108 km
7 AM - 8 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 216 km
8 AM - 9AM
Notes: Team crashed into a reindeer. Reindeer instantly dead. Damaged front fender blocked front wheel, had to be bent out with a crowbar to continue.
Distance: 297 km

Fuel: 26 litres
Money: $6043
Fatigue: 23%

Team Two lone wolves / @Aaron.W
6 AM - 7 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 145 km
7 AM - 8 AM
Notes: Team had to slow down due to being followed by the cops for a while.
Distance: 254 km
8 AM - 9AM
Notes: Team had to refuel at the OKQ8 station in Porjus. Price $80.58.
Distance: 363 km

Fuel: 40 litres
Money: $2145.42
Fatigue: 26%

Team Kansei Dorifto / @Watermelon3878
6 AM - 7 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 147 km
7 AM - 8 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 294 km
8 AM - 9AM
Notes: Team had to refuel at the OKQ8 station in Porjus. Price $69.59.

When driving through a puddle, the rear end hydroplaned, sending the car backwards out on a field. Car undamaged and relatively quickly back on the road again.
Distance: 368 km

Fuel: 41 litres
Money: $3024.41
Fatigue: 38%

Team Redneck / @Zabhawkin
6 AM - 7 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 135 km
7 AM - 8 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 270 km
8 AM - 9AM
Notes: Team had to refuel at the OKQ8 station in Jokkmokk. Price $68.63.
Distance: 371 km

Fuel: 47 litres
Money: $2151.37
Fatigue: 23%

Team MV Design / @Marcus_gt500
6 AM - 7 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 117 km
7 AM - 8 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 234 km
8 AM - 9AM
Notes: None
Distance: 351 km

Fuel: 19 litres
Money: $9759
Fatigue: 23%

Team Shitbox / @Mr.Computah
6 AM - 7 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 148 km
7 AM - 8 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 296 km
8 AM - 9AM
Notes: None
Distance: 444 km

Fuel: 27 litres
Money: $3115
Fatigue: 32%

Team Stm316 / @stm316
6 AM - 7 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 127 km
7 AM - 8 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 254 km
8 AM - 9AM
Notes: Team had to refuel at the OKQ8 station in Porjus. Cost $77.44
Distance: 349 km

Fuel: 43 litres
Money: $3326.56
Fatigue: 15%

Team Green Gunners / @abg7
6 AM - 7 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 136 km
7 AM - 8 AM
Notes: None.
Distance: 272 km
8 AM - 9AM
Notes: Oil pressure light flickering in sharp turns. Very low level when checking dipstick. Oil bought and filled at the OKQ8 station in Porjus. Price $41.
Distance: 374 km

Fuel: 16 litres
Money: $2190
Fatigue: 23%

Team Supreme Cream / @Awildgermanappears
6 AM - 7 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 131 km
7 AM - 8 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 262 km
8 AM - 9AM
Notes: None
Distance: 393 km

Fuel: 8 litres
Money: $2178
Fatigue: 23%

Team Letto / @LordLetto
6 AM - 7 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 112 km
7 AM - 8 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 224 km
8 AM - 9AM
Notes: None
Distance: 336 km

Fuel: 28 litres
Money: $8319
Fatigue: 15%

Team Bakewell Tart / @Mythrin
6 AM - 7 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 153 km
7 AM - 8 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 306 km
8 AM - 9AM
Notes: None
Distance: 457 km

Fuel: 18 litres
Money: $2944
Fatigue: 23%

Team REE / @Detsikeulii
6 AM - 7 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 146 km
7 AM - 8 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 292 km
8 AM - 9AM
Notes: Team had to refuel at the OKQ8 station in Porjus. Price $74.31.
Distance: 402 km

Fuel: 35 litres
Money: $3108.69
Fatigue: 15%

Team Operation BIRD / @Elizipeazie
6 AM - 7 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 118 km
7 AM - 8 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 236 km
8 AM - 9AM
Notes: None
Distance: 354 km

Fuel: 33 litres
Money: $5593
Fatigue: 15%

Team Bunnysquad / @Mikonp7
6 AM - 7 AM
Notes: Steam starts to come out of the bonnet, seems like a cracked radiator hose, team looking for new hose.
Distance: 133 km
7 AM - 8 AM
Notes: Engine not overheated but very close. Radiator hose completely broken. Coolant level very low. Team stopped at the OKQ8 station in Kiruna to buy a new hose and a can of coolant. Price $84
Distance: 200 km
8 AM - 9AM
Notes: None
Distance: 332 km

Fuel: 18 litres
Money: $2663
Fatigue: 17%

Team Getaway Plan / @BoostandEthanol
6 AM - 7 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 150 km
7 AM - 8 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 300 km
8 AM - 9AM
Notes: None
Distance: 450 km

Fuel: 32 litres
Money: $2015
Fatigue: 23%

Team Sippppp / @TheElt
6 AM - 7 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 128 km
7 AM - 8 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 256 km
8 AM - 9AM
Notes: None
Distance: 384 km

Fuel: 43 litres
Money: $2071
Fatigue: 23%

Team Dust Devils / @DukeOFhazards
6 AM - 7 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 128 km
7 AM - 8 AM
Notes: None
Distance: 256 km
8 AM - 9AM
Notes: Team had to refuel at the Circle K station in Jokkmokk. Price $74.05.
Distance: 352 km

Fuel: 49 litres
Money: $5126.95
Fatigue: 15%


#84

OOF I forgot to send the car


#85

TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS, DAY 1, 6-9 AM


Now playing: Eddie Meduza - Gasen i botten

The twincam four roared to life and Andreas pressed the accelerator to the floor, there was no time to spare now. Rather, it was time to show some of those dorky city folks what some tough Torne river valley people could do in a REAL car.

PASSING THE BOGLIQ (@HighOctaneLove)

JANNE: Hey, what a bunch of sissies you are! Have you borrowed your grandmothers ride?
Marie is mooning through the rear side window
A VERY LOUD HONK FROM THE DIXIE HORN!

JANNE: Just look at them! Bogliq! Bogliq is not a car, it is something that is scraped from the bottom of the sewers!
ANDREAS: IP is not a car either, it is just some…ehm…thai…no japanese…no chinese…or vietnamese…whatever…shitbox.
JANNE: Hey, with your skilled driving we could win this race with a skateboard if we wanted to!

(some hours later)
MARIE: …yeah, and that time I told that (curse word) jerk to…WATCH OUT!!!
ANDREAS: He should watch out for wha…(curse word) REINDEER!!!

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!
CRASH! CRUNCH! BOUNCE!

JANNE: Now, mr. Fittipaldi, how are you going to solve this?
ANDREAS: Well, Marie does weigh like two elephants so she can sit in the trunk…
MARIE: I HEARD YOU!
ANDREAS: Yeah, and then Janne, you are strong like a gorilla so help pushing the car on the road again!

(a cascade of mud later, the somewhat dated Mamayan sports sedan was back on the road again, the dixie horn was honking and the throttle was pressed against the floor, and there was no worries, at least for now)


#86

Okay my game has goofed and the car cant be exported


#87

Quick question for “distance”… is that cumulative distance since start, for each time it’s mentioned?


#88

Since start.


#89

Team Shitbox Brothers

The tale of two brothers and an 80s track car.


As soon as the race began, the two Brothers jumped into their Type SC. As soon as the key ignition was turned, everyone who was expecting a v8 rumble heard…an inline 4 cough. The disappointing 4 cylinder was capable of spinning the rear wheels, however, as the two slid their way out of there and onto the highway.

Ana: “Well you were right, this engine is just as punchy.”

Alejandro: “Punchier even. 2.0L i4 from a Conte Enemigo. 260hp.”

Ana: “These things are supposed to make upwards of 300hp.”

Alejandro: “I detuned it so it drinks less fuel and is more reliable.”

As the Brothers passed all the teams except Getaway Plan and Bakewell Tart, Ana shifted into fifth gear, letting the engine drop a few revs to take strain off of it.

Ana: “You reckon we can make it to the end this time?”

Alejandro: “Well…only one way to find out. Our bad luck streak has to end sometime.”

And the engine swapped Type SC disappeared on the horizon, on their way towards the finish line. Would the Shitbox Brothers finally make it…or would they fail yet again?


#90

Lol…
have more money left than expected. Forgot about -20%…

anyway

Operation BIRD

8:57 in the morning
[Connor is driving the Lumineux; Tonsom in the rear seat, looking out the window; Redwood is listening to music on his phone via earphones]
Tonsom: “Well… we got going… and the car seems to be fine for now…”
Connor: “I would like to establish contact to everyone wothing range to gather some amount of information.”
Tonsom: “Sure thing… go ahead, we need to get to our mission some time during this trip…”
[Connor takes the CB-radio handle and starts speaking]

Connor: “This is Connor speaking! Can anyone hear me?”
[After a short pause, a random truck driver answers]
Truck: “Hello Connor, this is DaddyGraham, whatcha want?”
Connor: “I wanted to ask for your current vehicle.”
[another short pause]
Truck: “Well… this is a trucker´s CB channel… i am in a Scania R500 heading northbound.”
Connor: “Thank you. I must have missed my intended channel, have a pleasant drive, DaddyGraham”
Truck: "You too… bye then chht [hangs up the handle]

[Connor fiddles around with the CB controls a bit, then retries]
Connor: “This is Connor from Operation BIRD trying to establish contact to any participants within range, can anyone hear me?”
[Connor changes the CB to listening-mode]
Tonsom: “Well… we haven´t got very far… somebody should hear us…”
[Redwood takes out his earphones]
Redwood: “What are you trying to do there?”
Connor: “I am trying to establish contact to our competiors, Mr. Redwood.”
Redwood: [slightly amused] “First, you can call me by my first name if you want. Second, this is not some kund of air traffic shenanigans we are doing in the CB, but i like it how you are trying to be friendly soo…Just a little tip from the modern side of things… This is a bunch of illegal street racers you are trying to talk to, not the ATC or stuff… You gotta be more on their level.”
Connor: [after a bit of thinking] “Got it.”
Tonsom: [laughs; then to Redwood] “This is Connor… he wont change because of one little illegal race. He just keeps his almost machine-like neutrality and ‘friendlyness’…”

to be continued

@DukeOFhazards ; @stm316 ; @Marcus_gt500 ; @Aaron.W ; @Madrias
these are the players within range of me, you are free to jump in on RP if wanted.
if that tagging thing is too much atm, just tell me


#91

Team V6 Vandals

Previous Post


A brisk 6 AM start left the Vandals hurrying to the Sinistra Swift, where they piled in and took off in a bold cloud of tire smoke. Their 3.9 liter V6 roared as they hurtled the car onto the road, Luke’s heavy foot opening up the throttle wide as he worked through the gears.

Cody seemed a bit concerned at the fuel consumption, though kept reminding himself that the car was cheap for a reason, and that reason was that it’s the '87, and it wasn’t fast because it wasn’t the '89 with the V10 in it.

Amy, however, seemed completely unconcerned with the Swift’s thirsty V6, instead keeping a watch out for their competition, and more importantly, keeping an eye on Luke.

Jake was lounging in the back seat, planning for the worst and hoping for the best. At the same time, he was keeping an eye on the car’s ECU with his laptop, monitoring everything live as they ran.

Luke stopped in for some fuel in their 8-9 time block, filling the tank before belting the car out of the gas station. As he did so, the CB crackled to life.

“This is Connor from Operation BIRD trying to establish contact to any participants within range, can anyone hear me?” @Elizipeazie

“Loud and clear, Connor. This is Servo of Team V6 Vandals, and we’re runnin’ the dark blue hatchback that did the burnout this morning.” Luke said. He let go of the transmit button, then said, “Bunch of rookies. Real names on the CB in an illegal race.”

Cody laughed, then replied, “Definitely a rookie move.”


#92

Operation Bird

Tonsom: “Connor, can you hand me the CB?”
[Connor grabs the handle, reaches to the rear; Tonsom takes the handle and presses the transmit button…]

Tonsom: [Into CB] “Erm… Hello there… we are first time racers and… do you have any tips regarding this stuff… I need some new thrill in my life and wanted to get into more of a… less legal approach?”

[Tonsom lets go of the transmit button]

Tonsom: “Lets see if we can get some info out of them…”

@Madrias your turn


#93

Lord Letto: We May not be the Fastest
Coconut Letto: But it’s not like we have to speed, just stick to the Speed Limit & we’ll be fine.
Markus Huttunen: Joo, koska poliisi pysäyttää sen, se olisi väärässä. (Yeah, because being stopped by the police would be f***ing bad.)
Coconut Letto: Exactly, what he said
Lord Letto: Don’t Worry…
Everyone: Kaikki tulee olemaan hyvin. (Everything will be fine.)


#94

9:06 am, and Eskil is behind the wheel of the yellow birmingham. Timo is in the passenger seat, messing about with the CB radio they managed to buy that morning.
Timo: can anyone hear me, just wondering if there are any other vehicles around. If so, you should be scared, we have a 3.5 v6 under the hood here.
Victor: shut up would you! Stop showing off and maybe try and get some useful information.


#95

Team V6 Vandals


“Yeah, some advice for your friend there, pick a CB handle that isn’t his name. We’re mostly law-abiding, but when you’re in a less-than-legal race, don’t be squawking your own names all over the airwaves. Elsewise, the smokies will have a clue to go on, and pieces of the puzzle close in around you. Next thing you know, you’re shipped back to gods-know-where-you-came-from, and spend the next half your life in the slammer.” Cody said, taking the CB radio from Luke. “That, and keep an eye out for suspicious shit, that’s somethin’ my brother taught me. Oh, and don’t piss off people in big black cars, they might have guns.”


#96

Oeration BIRD

[the CB radio recieves a signal]

[Tonsom, still having the Handle begins transmitting an answer]

Tonsom: “Hello there, we can hear you, loud and clear. We have a red Sedan, a Damien-something…”
[Tonsom releases the transmit button]

Connor: “According to signal strength, the other team is within two miles of us.”

[the CB goes off again]

Connor: “They are two seperate teams ralking to us simutaneously. It seems like they want us to use Nicknames to decrease likelyhood of getting caught.”

[Tonsom transmits]
Tonsom: “Thanks for the tip on that! I´ll take care of said friend…”
[Hangs up the handle, ending the transmission]

Tonsom: [to the others in the car]
“You know what they said! Get a Nickname and do NOT say any names untiil you have one!”
[Connor nods in agreement]
Redwood: “Erm… okay. What coul be a suitable nickname…”

to be continued


#97

Team Off Constantly

“Mel, LOOK OUT!”

THWAK
Melissa geared down and wrestled the car to the side of the road, as it was pulling hard to the right.

M: “Shit.”
D: “What the…?”
M: “Reindeer. I’m gonna go back and check on it while you check the car.” Mel pulled a KBAR (military knife) out of the glovebox.
D: “What are you gonna do with that? Jeez, I can’t take you anywhere.”
M: “Did you see some of those characters at the starting stage? I’d have brought my snubbie if I could’ve. I just want to make sure it’s not suffering. I feel bad enough, hitting the poor thing. I wonder if there’s someone we could call to come pick up the meat? I’ll be right back, check the car, please. It feels like it’s rubbing.”

Melissa returned to the car a couple of minutes later.

M: “I broke its neck when I hit it with the car, poor thing. How’s the car?”
D: shrugs “Not good. I need something to bend the metal back with. I tried the tire iron but it won’t fit in a way that I can get leverage on it.”
M: “Daylight’s burning, sugar. What if I jacked up the car?”

Just then, an obviously overloaded van pulled up behind them on the shoulder. A large bearded man climbed out of the driver’s seat. Mel unconsciously gripped her knife a little tighter.

Man: “You ladies need a hand?”
D: steps between Melissa and the man, hoping to obscure his view of the knife and Mel’s bad manners. “We’ve had a bit of an accident, and we’re in a hurry. I see you’ve got a van full of fellas and equipment, there. You guys some sort of rock band?” (she hoped)…
Man: “Crowbar, at your service, ma’am. We’re playing the Dundret tonight, small show. Can I offer you tickets?”
D: “I wish we could, but we’re in a race right now…”
Man: “The Meatball? Fuck, yeah!!”
Mel: “Hey, do you think you guys could lift the front of our car up so we’ve got a little room to wedge a tire iron in there and bend it back out?”
Man: “You bet, sweetheart.” motions to the guys
A few minutes later, the crumpled metal is tweaked clear of the tire and the ladies are ready to start making up some time.
M: “Thanks so much, you guys!”
Crowbar: “Good luck and safe racing!”
On the road again, Mel is relaxed and smiling as the car hurtles through corner after corner.
M: “Tires feel good, thank goodness. Nice bunch of fellas, too! I wish we had time for a metal show.”
D: “Yeah, you can’t judge a book by its cover. I saw you looked a little nervous, there.”
M: “Not me. You’re imagining things.”
D: “Okay, fine, but how about if we leave the knife in the car for the rest of the trip? Right turn ahead, 200 meters.”
M: “You got it, babe.”


#98

Team Getaway Plan

The white Keika waited at the starting location, Skyler and Maria waiting in silence for a signal.
“So… Got yourself hyped up yet?” Maria asks

“I’ll do that when we get the go.” His finger hovered over the play button, his song ready.

Maria starts fiddling with the CB. “Hey asshats! When’s the go?” Nothing in response. She turns off the mic and puts it down. “Nobody’s saying anything… Where’s the fun if I can’t piss off anyone?” Skyler shakes his head and hits play, and lets the intro to the song play out. He hums along to it, tapping the wheel in beat.

“Hey look someone’s going!” Maria yells, as someone slides through the parking lot exit. She turns to him, and glares while he keeps humming. Then the intro ends.

The engine roars into life, both turbos scream, the wheels spin and the guitar plays away through Skyler’s earphones. The car keeps spinning its wheels down the road. It eventually grips as he throws it past a blindingly pink Caliban into a turn, the rear sliding loosely behind as he does.

“Sayonara!” Maria yells into the CB as they make their pass, and slowly increase the gap in the following hours. Throughout this Skyler stays deathly quiet, driving like hell, while Maria taunts Team Shitbox behind them.


#99


#100

Team New Life

“So many moose out here,” Fuzz sighed.

“Reindeer,” Hank corrected.

“Whatever. They’ll still screw us up if we hit one.”

Kyle agreed. “Keep your eyes sharp. Don’t want one jumping out in front of us.”

“Yeah. Don’t ruin some kid’s Christmas, dude.”

Hank shook his head, not impressed with the obvious Santa reference.

They drove along for a few more kilometers freedom units, when Hank came around a bend and squinted at something in the distance. A little old blue coupe.

“Looks like someone’s in trouble,” Hank noted.

They could, up ahead, make out the Wisconsin Tazio of Team Off Constantly. It was pulled just off to the side, skid marks illuminating its trajectory as it came to a sudden stop. To the side of the road and just behind, the mangled reindeer which fell victim to the automobile.

“Ooh! Ooh!” Fuzz grabbed the cassette adapter cord and jammed it into his phone’s audio jack, then frantically pawed through his play list.

“What are you doing?” Kyle grumbled.

“Roll down your window!”

“Why?”

“Do it, quick! Hank, slow down.”

Kyle rolled down his window, and Hank came to a stop next to the Tazio. Fuzz hit “play” on his phone, and through the speakers blasted crackled:

Tribute to Blitzen

Off Constantly gave them quite confused looks before Fuzz yelled “HIT IT!” and they peeled out.

“What was that for?” Kyle probed.

“Just having a little fun.”

“Just don’t be a prick,” Hank shot back. “We may need help from some of these people later on. And you don’t want karma to be a bi… iii… SON OF A BITCH!” he cursed as the Ardent Chancellor suddenly started lurching and wobbling.

Hank pulled over. They got out, and immediately saw the cause of their issue. Their right rear tire was completely flat, splinters of reindeer horn still sticking out of the tread shoulder.

“Karma,” Hank grumbled. “Well, Fuzz, this is your fault. You get to change it.”

“Me? What did I do?” he whinged.

“Tempted fate.”

Hank and Kyle returned to the car.