Mr. Dennis Montera was browsing at his PC in his new home office for a new car. His wife, Kathleen, comes over with her phone, texting a friend. “Hey honey, what are you doing?” Kathleen inquired. “Oh, I’m just searching up for some new cars. You know the wagon [the Mercedes R-Class] isn’t going to last too long.” replied Dennis monotonously. Kathleen thought for a few seconds, and soon replied “okay babe, I think it’s time to let the car go. I don’t know much about cars, so I think you’ll need to do the research.” Dennis nodded in agreement. “I think the first thing we should do is just look at the cars and see what you like the look of first.” He brought up a whole slew of pictures in order to compare the styling of each car.
STAGE 1 - DESIGN BRIEFING - Kathleen’s POV
Contendiente Titan - “For a car called the ‘Titan’, it’s cute, but it’s so small. I don’t think our family could fit in that.”
Omega Glory GT - “Ewwww, that’s just gross. Pass!”
Conan C54 3300GXL - “I mean, I wouldn’t be embarrassed driving it… But it’s not good looking either… I think we could keep that on our radar.”
Dynamite D7 - “Oh, this is really huge. It’s pretty classy too. Is it British? It has that aura, you get what I’m saying? Anyways, it’s not terrible.”
Zeal Kirin - “Hey, that’s not that bad. It looks like my sister’s Q7 a little bit; don’t you agree, Denny? I’d drive it.”
Maesima MQX-6 GX-Z FWD - “Oh wow, that looks really nice. I love how big and stylish it is! I’d love to own it.”
Talon TV-C 3.5 - “It looks a little dumb, but it’s still glitzy. I wouldn’t be angry at it, so I guess it’s on the list.”
Albury Pilbara XP6 - “Oh, that’s classy. I don’t mind it much, but I feel like it’s… Old? It’s not bad though.”
Toronto 647 LX-E - “That’s gorgeous. It looks a lot like a jewel, or something. Why can’t some of the other SUV’s look even half as good as this?”
Shromet Parvus XL - “I could’ve sworn I saw this on TV the other day. Doesn’t your brother-in-law own one of these? I mean, it’s cool I guess.”
Lovante - “Oh… That car is ugly. I wouldn’t want to drive that.”
Schiltron - “Didn’t my grandmother have this when she passed away in 1989?”
Bogliq Caravan Familystar - “It looks like a cute little buggy! But my coworkers would never let me hear the end of it if I buy it!”
JHW Ibex 3.8 LX - “Oh, this has a lot of bright stuff. I actually don’t hate it that much.”
FOA Chelsea K9 Lux - “Wow, this is really ugly. I just… Wow. It looks like an overdone car from , like, 10 years ago.”
Scarab Nebula - “Do you know what this reminds me of exactly? Your sister’s Porsche! I think that’s kinda cute!”
Bonham Stroud 5.0 Elegance - “Oh, I’ve been seeing a lot of these recently! Those are really big, but I like them!”
LLA Superlife - “This reminds me of a bug too, but I think I can live with it.”
- Vehicles eliminated -
Omega Glory GT
FOA Chelsea K9 Lux
STAGE 2 - RESEARCH - DENNIS’ POV
“Okay honey, so I guess you know what you like. I’ll take over from here, okay?” Kathleen nodded. “I understand. I’ve got to drive Matthew to his soccer camp, so I’ll be back later.”
Dennis soon went back online to look for cars. Reviews were all over the place, but he decided to see if any of these cars were in a comparison test. He ended up not finding any finding a few comparisons, but was pretty quick to rid of the Talon TV-C 3.5 and LLA Superlife. Both of these cars had subpar crash ratings as opposed to the other vehicles, and safety of course is a given when making cars such as these.
Oddly enough, he wasn’t able to find any reviews comparing the Maesima MQX-6 against any of the other SUV’s. A mention wasn’t even made; Dennis had confused himself. He soon realized the problem; the MQX-6 was in a class under all of the other cars here. So, looking at more reviews, there were no comparisons to upper-class vehicles. All the reviews stated the MQX-6 had a very posh interior… for the class. In addition, it was currently only available with a FWD setup and a turbocharged 4-cylinder engine. Reviews said it wasn’t really able to tow anything, and on the highway the boosted engine was often overworked. With all of this in mind, Dennis decided it was best to ignore the MQX-6 for now and recommend it to his… lesser siblings.
Up next on the block were the JHW Ibex 3.8 LX and Shromet Parvus XL. The two were lumped together for having a high asking price, above $70,000, but also cavernous size. The JHW ended up losing the fight to the even larger and supremely practical Parvus; it may only have 7 seats, but it would apparently be able to haul a suitcase for everyone for a trip across the country and back along with a boat hooked up to the rear. In other words, the Parvus is unbelievably practical. Additionally, the Parvus had a quieter, smoother engine, and a more sumptuous interior. Dennis bookmarked the page in order to remember to check out the American dream.
Oddly enough, the Dynamite D7 wasn’t as practical as it’s massive size would suggest; numbers said that overall, it wasn’t as easy to use as some of the other SUV’s. In a comparison against the Scarab Nebula and Zeal Kirin, he found it surprisingly unusable. Dennis knew that Kathy would, er, not enjoy having to learn how to use the car. The massive rear overhang wouldn’t do much to help parking, either. Despite the D7’s comfortable interior, high safety ratings, and decent economy, he found that it’s probably not the best fit for Kathy. The Scarab Nebula, too, wouldn’t work too well; it had an extremely powerful engine. While he didn’t know what all the “horsepower” and “under boosted steering feel” and “jerky gas” terms meant, one line told him everything he needed to know. “The Nebula is simply too difficult for a suburban mom to handle.” Using this, he pushed the Zeal Kirin into the final standings.
A final 4-way test was soon discovered; the Conan C54 3300GXL, Bonham Stroud 5.0 Elegance, Albury Pilbara XP6, and Toronto 647 LX-E. The bottom two cars, the Conan and the Albury, seemed to be decent, but not great. They simply lacked the practicality needed for the Montera’s with a tight and difficult to use backseat and a price unjustified by their merits. The Bonham Stroud was the least expensive, but for the price it was actually a rather decent purchase; it came close to beating the Toronto 647, but alas, it failed to dethrone the Canadian. The Toronto was similarly priced and similarly practical, but had a more luxurious interior and also scored higher in crash tests. The Bonham's lower price wasn't quite enough to justify the somewhat lower quality interior compared to the Toronto.
- Vehicles eliminated -
Talon TV-C 3.5
JHW Ibex 3.8 LX
Conan C54 3300GXL
Albury Pilbara XP6
Bonham Stroud 5.0 Elegance
Cars to be test driven
Shromet Parvus XL
Toronto 647 LX-E