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The Car Shopping Round (Round 64): Tears in Heaven


That’s what I was on about, probably should’ve added the exported zip files part to my post above trying to ask if he’d sent them.


Oh yea I forgot about that lol… I can’t send him the files on time for the competition either because I got something to do outside my house and yea I can’t send it. Well then, that’s a lesson for me, I guess… Thanks for letting me know because it is my first time entering a competition here.


I forgot to close the competition!

But yes, the competition is now closed. There were no new entrants from beforehand, so the remaining people have submitted their cars to me.


Reviews will be released in a little bit!


Good Luck to everyone :wink: :wink:


Mr. Dennis Montera was browsing at his PC in his new home office for a new car. His wife, Kathleen, comes over with her phone, texting a friend. “Hey honey, what are you doing?” Kathleen inquired. “Oh, I’m just searching up for some new cars. You know the wagon [the Mercedes R-Class] isn’t going to last too long.” replied Dennis monotonously. Kathleen thought for a few seconds, and soon replied “okay babe, I think it’s time to let the car go. I don’t know much about cars, so I think you’ll need to do the research.” Dennis nodded in agreement. “I think the first thing we should do is just look at the cars and see what you like the look of first.” He brought up a whole slew of pictures in order to compare the styling of each car.


Contendiente Titan - “For a car called the ‘Titan’, it’s cute, but it’s so small. I don’t think our family could fit in that.”

Omega Glory GT - “Ewwww, that’s just gross. Pass!”

Conan C54 3300GXL - “I mean, I wouldn’t be embarrassed driving it… But it’s not good looking either… I think we could keep that on our radar.”

Dynamite D7 - “Oh, this is really huge. It’s pretty classy too. Is it British? It has that aura, you get what I’m saying? Anyways, it’s not terrible.”

Zeal Kirin - “Hey, that’s not that bad. It looks like my sister’s Q7 a little bit; don’t you agree, Denny? I’d drive it.”

Maesima MQX-6 GX-Z FWD - “Oh wow, that looks really nice. I love how big and stylish it is! I’d love to own it.”

Talon TV-C 3.5 - “It looks a little dumb, but it’s still glitzy. I wouldn’t be angry at it, so I guess it’s on the list.”

Albury Pilbara XP6 - “Oh, that’s classy. I don’t mind it much, but I feel like it’s… Old? It’s not bad though.”

Toronto 647 LX-E - “That’s gorgeous. It looks a lot like a jewel, or something. Why can’t some of the other SUV’s look even half as good as this?”

Shromet Parvus XL - “I could’ve sworn I saw this on TV the other day. Doesn’t your brother-in-law own one of these? I mean, it’s cool I guess.”

Lovante - “Oh… That car is ugly. I wouldn’t want to drive that.”

Schiltron - “Didn’t my grandmother have this when she passed away in 1989?”

Bogliq Caravan Familystar - “It looks like a cute little buggy! But my coworkers would never let me hear the end of it if I buy it!”

JHW Ibex 3.8 LX - “Oh, this has a lot of bright stuff. I actually don’t hate it that much.”

FOA Chelsea K9 Lux - “Wow, this is really ugly. I just… Wow. It looks like an overdone car from , like, 10 years ago.”

Scarab Nebula - “Do you know what this reminds me of exactly? Your sister’s Porsche! I think that’s kinda cute!”

Bonham Stroud 5.0 Elegance - “Oh, I’ve been seeing a lot of these recently! Those are really big, but I like them!”

LLA Superlife - “This reminds me of a bug too, but I think I can live with it.”

- Vehicles eliminated -
Contendiente Titan
Omega Glory GT
FOA Chelsea K9 Lux


“Okay honey, so I guess you know what you like. I’ll take over from here, okay?” Kathleen nodded. “I understand. I’ve got to drive Matthew to his soccer camp, so I’ll be back later.”

Dennis soon went back online to look for cars. Reviews were all over the place, but he decided to see if any of these cars were in a comparison test. He ended up not finding any finding a few comparisons, but was pretty quick to rid of the Talon TV-C 3.5 and LLA Superlife. Both of these cars had subpar crash ratings as opposed to the other vehicles, and safety of course is a given when making cars such as these.

Oddly enough, he wasn’t able to find any reviews comparing the Maesima MQX-6 against any of the other SUV’s. A mention wasn’t even made; Dennis had confused himself. He soon realized the problem; the MQX-6 was in a class under all of the other cars here. So, looking at more reviews, there were no comparisons to upper-class vehicles. All the reviews stated the MQX-6 had a very posh interior… for the class. In addition, it was currently only available with a FWD setup and a turbocharged 4-cylinder engine. Reviews said it wasn’t really able to tow anything, and on the highway the boosted engine was often overworked. With all of this in mind, Dennis decided it was best to ignore the MQX-6 for now and recommend it to his… lesser siblings.

Up next on the block were the JHW Ibex 3.8 LX and Shromet Parvus XL. The two were lumped together for having a high asking price, above $70,000, but also cavernous size. The JHW ended up losing the fight to the even larger and supremely practical Parvus; it may only have 7 seats, but it would apparently be able to haul a suitcase for everyone for a trip across the country and back along with a boat hooked up to the rear. In other words, the Parvus is unbelievably practical. Additionally, the Parvus had a quieter, smoother engine, and a more sumptuous interior. Dennis bookmarked the page in order to remember to check out the American dream.

Oddly enough, the Dynamite D7 wasn’t as practical as it’s massive size would suggest; numbers said that overall, it wasn’t as easy to use as some of the other SUV’s. In a comparison against the Scarab Nebula and Zeal Kirin, he found it surprisingly unusable. Dennis knew that Kathy would, er, not enjoy having to learn how to use the car. The massive rear overhang wouldn’t do much to help parking, either. Despite the D7’s comfortable interior, high safety ratings, and decent economy, he found that it’s probably not the best fit for Kathy. The Scarab Nebula, too, wouldn’t work too well; it had an extremely powerful engine. While he didn’t know what all the “horsepower” and “under boosted steering feel” and “jerky gas” terms meant, one line told him everything he needed to know. “The Nebula is simply too difficult for a suburban mom to handle.” Using this, he pushed the Zeal Kirin into the final standings.

A final 4-way test was soon discovered; the Conan C54 3300GXL, Bonham Stroud 5.0 Elegance, Albury Pilbara XP6, and Toronto 647 LX-E. The bottom two cars, the Conan and the Albury, seemed to be decent, but not great. They simply lacked the practicality needed for the Montera’s with a tight and difficult to use backseat and a price unjustified by their merits. The Bonham Stroud was the least expensive, but for the price it was actually a rather decent purchase; it came close to beating the Toronto 647, but alas, it failed to dethrone the Canadian. The Toronto was similarly priced and similarly practical, but had a more luxurious interior and also scored higher in crash tests. The Bonham’s lower price wasn’t quite enough to justify the somewhat lower quality interior compared to the Toronto.

- Vehicles eliminated -
Talon TV-C 3.5
LLA Superlife
Maesima MQX-6
JHW Ibex 3.8 LX
Conan C54 3300GXL
Albury Pilbara XP6
Dynamite D7
Scarab Nebula
Bonham Stroud 5.0 Elegance

Cars to be test driven

Shromet Parvus XL
Toronto 647 LX-E
Zeal Kirin


‘This reminds me of a bug too, but I think I can live with it.’ I’ll take that as a compliment. As of the safety, I think the marketing department will finally listen to the engineers and stop chipping at the potential of the models to come. :slight_smile: My favourite of the finalists in terms of looks is the Torronto :wink: :wink:


It seems the manufacturer name for my entry was listed incorrectly - it’s Albury, not Albany. Anyway, you have hit the nail on the head with the reviews, and kept them concise to boot.

And for once I am lucky to have reached the semifinals of a given round… Which wasn’t the case for the last two or three rounds I entered. However, even if I had extended the rear of the Pilbara to give more space in the third row (without giving it an overly long rear overhang, of course), it would most likely have been too expensive to win outright anyway…


My bad! I’ll fix it right away.


Good reviews, simple and direct.
I have a good feeling about the Kirin, but the 2 others are strong.


As much as I dislike celebrating old stereotypes, it’s disturbing how true to life I know this caricature to be for so many people I know :astonished:


0/10 not white trash-ey enough, no Starbucks visits or yoga done yet :stuck_out_tongue:


No no, they’re wearing the yoga pants and activewear but they ditched the yoga class to go to Starbucks :joy:


i had a feeling my V6 and low Practicallity would be my undoing. :frowning: but also, was my final price really $70k+? also an undoing


I think even if my safety hadn’t been low, the fuel economy may have been the next failure.


HAHAHAHA!!! Well, the motorjournalists of this magazine sure doesn’t now their stuff… with a flat torque-curve from 2500 - 5900 rpm, almost 70 driveability and a measly 500 hp, this would be a soccermoms dream :smiley:

@titleguy1, great writeups, man. And i know what you mean, this is more of a sportscar disguised as a SUV, than anything else :wink:


Yeah a line like that makes me wonder why I see so many Cayenne Turbo S around the private school Richie Rich area :thinking: tell me what this rag was and we’ll be sure not to let them review our cars :stuck_out_tongue:


STAGE 3 - TEST DRIVES - Kathy and Dennis’ POV

The following weekend, Dennis and Kathy decided to drive out to the dealerships in order to test drive the cars. First, they travelled to the Shromet dealership in order to try out the Parvus XL. As they arrived at the dealership, they noticed a swathe of various vehicles; a larger, sexy sports car was on display with a sign that read “NEW SHROMET DRAGON - THE ULTIMATE GT CAR.” Of course, they were here for the Parvus, so a representative came up and asked if they had needed help. Not long after, they were brought outside over to the new Parvus XL. In person, the car was even more massive than it was in pictures. They took a look at the interior and discovered that it was richly appointed, with real leather and seemingly real wood trim inserts; Shromet certainly knew how to class up a high-end interior. Taking a look inside, Dennis discovered that the rear-most seats were easy to access and huge on their own; he found that even adults could gladly fit in the rear. The huge touch screen was found to be easy and smooth to use by Kathy, and the seats were also supple yet soft.

On their drive, Kathy had noticed a few things about the Parvus. For one, she doesn’t really know much about cars, but the steering was good; it was light and easy to maneuver around tight parking spots despite being a humongous car. She never found the car slow, but she didn’t really find it fast either. The experience was very isolating, especially with the pounds and pounds of sound deadening in the Parvus. Over bumps, she was slightly disappointed. The Parvus, with its solid rear axle and ladder chassis, is a somewhat old-fashioned design. Of course, neither Dennis nor Kathy knows what this means, but it caused the Parvus to be a little less comfortable around bumps. And, yes, the Parvus remains to be a very large car; maybe a bit too large. All in all, though, the size is offset by its practicality. Kathy is pleased to hear of its high safety rating, long warranty, and favorable reliability reviews. She and Dennis really liked the car; it remains on their list.

Next up was the Toronto dealership. The Monteras immediately noticed the more upscale, more premium feel to this dealership compared to the Shromet one. It was not long until they were directed to the 647 LX-E. Kathy liked the size of the Toronto a bit more than the Shromet; it was good for her commute and parking in the busy streets of NYC. Rear seat size was compromised compared to the Shromet, but Dennis found that it was still livable for adults thanks to sliding and reclining 2nd row seats. The interior was equally as nice as the Shromet’s, with soft materials everywhere in sight. Kathy thought that it simply felt “nicer” than the Shromet, but she would see how nice it was to drive soon after.

The first impression of the 647 was how comfortable the ride was; the suspension was completely electronic, with adaptive dampers, an active anti-roll bar, and air-controlled suspension. While the Parvus had the same setup, the 647 had that 4-wheel independent suspension lacking on the Shromet. Thus, the 647 was not only more comfortable on the road, but also easier to drive. The smaller size meant that it was easier to drive and that the car was lighter; the fuel economy would be better than the thirsty Parvus. It felt a bit quicker than the Parvus as well. It was difficult for the couple to find many faults with the 647, pardon possibly the size. If the Zeal didn’t top the 647, then they would have found their new car.

The Zeal dealership was fairly quiet as opposed to the other two; maybe it was new? Either way, they didn’t even see to many cars. The Kirin was one of the only cars there, so thankfully, the Monteras were able to grab one for inspection. The interior of the Kirin was by far the best; it undoubtedly had the nicest leather and best infotainment. Real stitching lined the car’s cabin, and a perfect safety rating greatly helped the Zeal gain mom points. The 3rd row was more or less like the Toronto’s; easy to access, but not as enormous as the Shromet’s.

Unfortunately, the interior’s comfort didn’t translate to comfortable road manners. The car felt especially twitchy, yet it was also strange. The drive, to say the least, was unnatural. It would put off Mrs. Montera a little bit; it’s easy to drive, but simply odd. There wasn’t much else that stood out to her; sure, it wasn’t too large, and it could park easily in tight spots, but nothing was outstanding about the Kirin. It wouldn’t really be the best fit for Kathy, and she made sure Dennis knew this.

In the end, the winner was a toss-up between the Shromet Parvus XL and Toronto 647 LX-E. But, it’s pretty clear what car they decided to purchase; the Toronto 647 was simply the most well-balanced car, being the perfect size for the family and looking great to boot.

Congratulations @thecarlover for winning the CSR45!


Congrats @thecarlover. Now you’ve won a crossover round, and now this better-than-you mobile round… at least companies you run would make a killing in the real world market :stuck_out_tongue:


That’s his third win so far. Last time he hosted a round, he made us build a car for some Valley girl, circa 2005. Since that’s been taken care of already, I wonder what previously untried idea he will come up with next? At any rate, he knows how to build really competitive crossovers… at any price. By the way, his first win was in CSR15, with what was basically a “muscle sedan”, and since CSR16 saw us build AWD hypercars, I don’t think we’ll revisit that kind of car either. I’m hoping we’re not asked to build yet another crossover, though - I would prefer the next round to be about building real passenger cars instead, particularly affordable ones.

As soon as I saw the ad for the Toronto 647, I realized that nobody else stood a chance against it; it wasn’t as trucklike as the Parvus, and hence better to drive, as well as nearly matching it on practicality and being easier on the wallet.

And many thanks to @titleguy1 for hosting such a competitive round!


OH GOD no anything but that again please I beg of you