CSR 55: Totally Illegal Alien
Still with Kee!
My name is Mooorrwwe of North Windy Plains. Humans of Earth know me as Manuel Gonzales. I used to run the Alpha Carinae Mafia. Things happened, and now I live in exile here on planet Earth. I live in a box – finest Earth mahogany with polished brass inlays, materials imported to my home planet by my father when I was still a child living in my plastic child box – and I manipulate objects outside the box with two robotic extensions to my small arms. In the ten years I have lived on this planet, I’ve managed to build a cocaine empire in Colombia and eliminate three rival drug lords. I’m just that good.
With the authorities becoming more and more interested in me and rivals looking to find every opportunity to take me out, I need a vehicle to travel in safety. My right hand man will be helping me choose one and I can tell you, I know some people who can get me anything from anywhere on this planet, so importing won’t be a problem.
I will not drive the vehicle myself, as my physiology is unfitting to the task of operating a human motor vehicle. It could be modified to accommodate me, but I need the car to stay drivable by trusted members of my staff, so that is out of the question. The vehicle will be fitted with a slot for my box in place of the back seat, and driven by a chauffeur or one of my bodyguards. Thus, the car should have at least four seats: two in the front for a driver and a bodyguard and two in the back because that’s how much room my box takes. More seats than that will mean I can fit more bodyguards in, so they would be appreciated but not a strict requirement.
I want to travel in style and comfort without compromising on safety. The car will need to look respectable and tasteful rather than draw too much attention with a design that shouts “I’m special”. I am an alien lifeform living on Earth after all. The general public should not get too easily interested in trying to get a peek inside, although of course the windows will be darkened. The car will have to have armor plating and bullet proof windows. With all that added weight, it should still be fast and manouverable. Decent offroad capability and reliability is required, because some of my safehouses are in remote areas and road quality in this part of the world is not the best.
I will have to throw a lot of money at this, to first of all arrange for discreet purchase and import of the car and then to convert the back seat to accommodate my box in a safe but easily accessible way. That means I would like it if the base price for the car itself wouldn’t be astronomical.
- using the Kee engine version
- Year: 2010. Your car CAN be older.
- Price: $ 35 000 max with 0% markup
- +15 Body quality and corrosion resistant steel body panels are mandatory to simulate the armor and bulletproof glass. This will make your car very heavy and you must deal with it.
- at least 4 seats, preferably more
- fuel RON 95
- must post an advertisement with at least the name of the car and a picture. All other information is optional, but a well thought out, informative ad will help a lot.
- It doesn’t have to be an SUV. There are other suitable bodies within about 10 years before 2010 available. The offroad capability requirement says it only needs to be “decent”. It’s more important to be quick, reliable and comfortable. More is always better though, as long as it’s not at the expense of all the other stuff.
- Older cars than 2010 are allowed. If for some reason you want to do that. Might be interesting?
- The advertisement doesn’t have to specifically market an armored version. You can show an ad for the “normal” version of the car if it’s not purpose built to be bulletproof. You can assume that such features get added by the customer, but you can also have them be a standard part of the car.
- Market it for humans. You don’t know that the buyer is an alien crime lord. Not even that he is a crime lord of any kind. Nobody but his most trusted henchmen know of his true identity. To others he is just Manuel Gonzales. His right hand guy Carlos handles the actual purchase.
- name your car CSR55 + your user name
- name your trim what the model name is
- name your engine CSR55 + your user name
- name your engine variant what you want
Deadline: 5th November @ 17:00 GMT