I see plenty of those.
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So, if we’re discussing modifiers pertaining to variants of one type of modification, how many points is any particular kind of aftermarket wheel worth?
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Personally not a fan of pearlescent hover if subtle 0/10 as it can look nice 10/10 for the example given (again you need to want people to look at you, its hideously more expensive than a candy finish, and is usually applied to ricerish cars again the example given)
Metallic: again when subtle or on a speedboat 5/10 (need to want people to look at you) the example above is a 9/10 not quite as bad as the pearlescent.
Matte: when on a drag car 0/10 looks really cool…when on a ricer 10/10 for obvious reasons.
So my overall consensus is that all these paint jobs when done correctly and on the correct type of vehicle are not douchy however when taken to the extreme very doucy
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Has this broken the Douche Meter?
It’s an '87 Foxbody Mustang GT 5.0… with gullwing doors. 'Nuff said.
It’s on sale for $4300 on Craigslist if anyone’s interested 
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25/10.
How much would it be if it had lambo doors instead?
There’s a camaro that’s worse…
I will post on Crazy, ugly, or plain bad Craigslist cars thread
(link Crazy, ugly, or plain bad craigslist cars )
If that fox is a 25, this camaro is a 35/10
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More like a 250.
Back in the day, Opel Calibra was the vehicle of choice for beginner douchebags, at least around here. You don’t really see them anymore these days.
(this is far from the worst pic I could find)
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Before Calibra was, there was Manta (B). Bow before it’s 80s-ness.
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Both the Manta and the Gullwing Mustang are awesome and I’d be proud to own either one! 
Quick question… Does the Manta come with the bonnet babe thrown in? Or is she extra? 
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Manta? hmmm a new one for me…I kinda like it and now i want one just without the pink bits
I agree, it looks douchey as all hell, but I certainly wouldn’t have minded one. I would have quite like to have one.
My girlfriend would have objected, naturally, and not because of the bonnet lady either.
Ah, back when a car’s hood/bonnet could take the weight of a human sitting on it without buckling… good times. Can’t do that anymore.
Strop; I respectfully give an automatic +3 douche points to ANY Civic because that is my experience with them. Chances are that if some car on the road is screwing with me… it’ll either be a Civic or a BMW X5/X6… and with that said, I rate the BMW X5 or X6 a solid 8/10 douche points. No one ever gives me as much trouble as these little shits in big… crossovers? Whatever the X6 is supposed to be other than a moving source of aggravation… haven’t quite figured it out yet.
These things;
Though my latest encounter with a douche was a “sport trim” Mercedes E-Class with blacked out windows and wheels. I don’t think it was an AMG, but it sounded like it was fart-canned. Anyway, so I heard him behind in the lane next to me, and I was already anticipating that he’d try to cut into my lane since the car infront of me in his lane is slower… but as he came up parallel to me, there was a meter-large gap or so between my car and the car in his lane, so I relaxed because I knew he can’t fit. Well… he still did it. If I hadn’t kicked the brakes that asshole would have nailed me. As he farted away with plenty of backfire… I almost regretted kicking my brakes. He would have rammed his rear tire into my front and assuming my Altima had the mass for it… it would have likely sent him nose first into the concrete barrier. I love my pre-Renault Altima too much to do that to her though.
Oh, since the topic of douche-paint came up… I give my vote to black wheels on a white car. Automatic +4 douche points from me if you do that. +5 if they’re black-painted stock wheels. Sample;
Oh, and the above reminded me… +3 douche points if the car is lowered.
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I dunno about a paltry 3+ to lowering… chances are if you see it on the street it virtually guarantees you the owner either did a ghetto lowering or is a full on boy racer. I’d have given it +8.
Also, I acknowledge that many drivers of Civics of prior generations, in particular the 90s, were quite douchey. I would argue that 9th Gen attracted an entirely different demographic because the car is almost completely different. I am seeing a couple of aftermarket rims on the 2015 versions of the 9th gen, but that’s it. It’s just not worth ricing or tuning.
If I keep my car long enough beyond all extended warranty (a likely prospect), I would not be beyond switching wheels myself. And the new iteration of the stock tyres are somewhat disappointing, so I’d also strongly consider sport tyres… but the engine is the single biggest deterrent to doing anything else. It’s a SOHC without the VTEC kick, the worst of everything Honda yesteryear. And it’d be plain retarded to attempt an engine swap. I mean, sure, the chassis is good, but not that good.
Furthermore, I feel nobody from the US can judge the hatch 9th gen, because it was made in a different country along a completely different production line and you simply don’t see it in the US AFAIK. They got a different line of Civic sedans.
Finally, I will confess that my driving is not douche free. It’s virtually impossible to drive my car in anger, but it’s actually very easy to disable ESC and more than willing to drift in the wet.
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Oh, I’ll confess it as well that even despite driving a car with 140 horsepower and an aftermarket giving it the cold shoulder, my driving isn’t exactly douche free. With a 5-speed manual, it’s a little bit possible to get into it, but you’re held back by it being just another FWD compact. And I’ll admit, there’s been a few times when I’ve been driving after a bad day and decided to get my frustrations out on the road, letting the clutch out around 5k and chirping tires. (It really doesn’t have the guts to properly squeal them, not unless it’s uphill and wet, at which point, it’s more than happy to try to make the cheap and crappy all-weather tires sing.)
So I suppose in that I’m rating myself a bit on this one:
Revving your engine at the stoplight in a car that is not old enough to be a proper shitbox: +3 douche factor.
Chirping/Squealing tires on “launch”: +2 douche factor.
Launch results in a One-Tire-Fire: +4 douche factor.
Rapid acceleration followed by just as rapid braking to avoid hitting the car in front: +10 points.
(To be fair, I’d only rank a 5 on that one, and that’s only because I barely manage to chirp the tires before it takes off. If it had any power at all, I’d end up eating the full 9. And I don’t do shit like that when I’m not first in line.)
Now, some may have noticed the modifier on that ‘revving it up’ factor. That’s because I’ve been in my fair share of cars that are proper shitboxes with two (or sometimes three) wheels in the junkyard already, and if you didn’t keep the engine revved up, they’d stall.
If your car’s a true shitbox and you’re revving it at the light: +1 point, and only because chances are your rusted-through muffler is loud.
If you then proceed to stall on the green light: +2 points for holding up traffic. +3 more if it then requires a jump start to get moving.
If you’re producing blue smoke: +6 points.
If you’re producing so much blue smoke you’re known for bug-fogging the town: +60 points. Seriously, quit burning so much oil. It ruins air cleaners and coats cars in crap.
And lastly:
If you’re bug-fogging the town, and you decided instead of getting the engine rebuilt (or a different junkyard engine), you were going to put 5 kilowatts of subwoofers in that shitty van, you earn an official Fuck You from the community. Not just are you polluting the air, driving around covering our cars in an oil film that makes it damn near impossible to keep the car clean, you’re doing so with the ‘lovely’ sound of over-driven subwoofers ruining whatever ‘music’ you might have been playing. +2000 points.
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Smog up in Australia and the narks’ll come down on ya and green slip you pretty quick. Cuss out the cops, and with any luck you’ll end up featured in the next episode of Highway Patrol 
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This is why racetracks were invented to get douche’s off the street.
So my top 5 douche points at the track are (dragstrip this time)
5: turning up with a factory brand new car on a trailer +1
4: turning up in a factory car with slicks at a street meet +3
3: Assuming all imports are slow and un-reliable +5
2: fitting nitrous then purging the entire bottle before your run +8
And the number one douche factor at the track…Blaming a loss on the track +10 (+50 if there was a bet involved and it doesn’t get paid
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For driving, I can be a bit douchey. Mostly in that I speed a bit more than I should, and can be a bit hard on launches. Although to be fair, I don’t rev it up at stoplights. I like to smoke the local ricers that do it. In the one time I took it to a dragstrip, I did so at the request of one of them, who was quite pissed that his riced out EK Civic was bested by my battered Mitsubishi. I put him to shame yet again. I got way too much enjoyment in that.
Have to add those to the list after yesterday, one asshole tried to punch it off the line in order to try to cut me off in a construction zone at the light before it goes to one lane. I was in my truck, so he lost by about 5 car lengths by the time it changed to one lane
Solid 8/10 douche for that
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…is that an estate focus? What is that even!?
Some clarifying notes:
- Douche doesn’t necessarily mean bad driving, but often is associated with a particular flavour of bad driving that actively disrespects the car, the environment, or other people (or any combination of the three). If you’re a Camry driver, for example, who isn’t confident enough to go faster than 30 in a 50 zone, you’re a horrible driver who should get the hell off the road, but not a douchey one.
- It’s very hard to sell aftermarket modification in a non-douchey way. Any way in which you want to express yourself is likely to be attention-seeking in some way or another. The nuance here is that you can floridly ‘douche’ your car up and still not be a douche despite now driving a max douche car if, as @Awildgermanappears said, you’re just hamming it up for fun. And that’s amusing for everybody, it’s almost self-deprecation.
- Douche also doesn’t mean you don’t like it. Truth be told, I actually like a number of the BMW lineup. But I think BMW is a douchey brand. And some cars are going to be, in their nature, douchey and you don’t have to hate them for it. I think the douche is very strong with the Toyota 86/ Subaru BRZ, but it’s still a great car.
Why am I saying all this now? Because I’m strongly considering expanding this to people’s forum car companies in a separate thread, but with some tighter rules so it doesn’t end up being a flame war or hurting feelings. I’d be sad if feelings got hurt. But at the same time I see a lot of potential for a lot of light fun and also more car building and brand awareness.
What do people think?
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