Outsource the crap out of that to some poor sap with skill and nothing better to do. @titleguy1 is damn good at those things
I would be happy to help with an article or two but hli have zero photoshop skills just paint
Hey @squidhead give me a chance will ya, I’m taking on the Photoshop work here 
Sorry if I’m not as good as you guys, but I’m trying, and I’m learning
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I, for once was actually not tempted to do that. But since you kinda insisted…
“Koolkei, breaking challenges since 2016”
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ISSUE #1:
We prouldy present you two articles taken from our giant archive.
This time:
ISSUE 02/2000 STORM ADVENTURE
Did the millenium bring us something radically new?
Well, if you still search for something, take a closer look
at the Storm Adventure. A Storm and a fleet-suiting car? Storm usually is the
incarnation of the american clichée, offering overpowered fun cars. When we got
the key from Storm Australia, we were already looking foward to a wild V8. But
the sound was clearly an l3. Storm, why did you do that to us? Is this small
pampers-carrier still a real Storm? At least it looks like one, with modern,
sporty styling that gives us a litte hope.
FIRST IMPRESSION AND INTERIOR
We enter and notice the comfortable seats. A welcomened
compensation for the rather standard trim level, offering an aircondition only
at extra cost (incredible in Australia!) and power windows only for the front
doors.
Doors is a good point to continue, the car has rear sliding
doors, that make it very easy entring the spacious cabin. We are surprised how
well that car, that is not even 4 meters long, is able to offer good seating
for five adults. Only the trunk space is a limited, which makes it not the
first choice as an airport taxi shuttle. The quality is relatively solid, much
hard plastic surface, but the pieces are not falling off after the first strong
pull. Our first impression was confirmed on bad roads, no rattles or squeals disturbed
our ride. The dashboard is relatively ergonomic and functional, the shifter is
lifted up in the center console and can be reached easily, the steering wheel
is adjustable.
DRIVING
We expected a roaring V8 and got an underwhelming l3 idle
sound. But as we started to ignore the Storm badge on the wheel, we got used to
the Adventure. Independent suspension on all wheels and a direct power steering
gives us a very nimble handling, and we are surprised to find a 6th gear on the
knob. This unexpected feature allows a relatively tight gearing in lower gears
– the engine always operates at optimal RPM. Our 100 km test was finished with
under 7 liters, a more than respectable result. Shifting is no burden, as the
ways are rather short, but need a little practice to get used to. After that,
we floored it. That l3 is a turtle, isn’t it?
The ultimately modern DOHC AlSi 4 valve engine tries it’s
best, it can be revved until 7500 rpm, which is insane for a small family car.
11,6 seconds to 100 kph is not insane, but still a lot better than average in
this class. A top speed of 185 kph does not need to hide even on the German
Autobahn. The engine sounds aggressive, which makes the car feel even faster.
We were not fair. The l3 engine is the best we have driven so far. If the
1500ccm engine is as reliable as the proven Opel 1,0 l3, it’s a candidate fort
he engine of the year award. Vibrations are worse than those of a comparable
l4, but bearable. The same for the noise. The firm, but not unpleasant
suspension allows good cornering on twisty roads – we did not forget that we
were sitting in an MPV, but we finall felt like being in a Storm. And if it is
too stormy for you, use the excellent brakes. We already think the car is
overbraked, so try to find a feeling for the pedal before you have an unwanted
emergency stop.
WHO SHOULD BUY IT?
The thrifty car could be a perfect addition for your civic
taxi fleet. The acceptable comfort and agile handling allows for relaxed
medium-distance travels, and as the trunk accomodates a lot after folding down
the rear seats, it can be a choice for sales representatives. Although reaching
a surprising top speed and having a 6th gear, we would recommend a classic
sedan for long-distance travels. But that does not mean that the Adventure is
not capable of going 500 kilometers without torturing the passengers.
VERDICT
We did not believe it when we saw it the first time and
turned the key, but the Adventure is a real Storm. It’s advantages are the good
engine, delivering well-used 107 horsepower at excellent economy and the almost
perfect handling (for it’s segment). Also, we liked the space offered on a
length of a new Skoda Fabia.
Yes, the Storm is a little more expensive than other cars of
it’s size. But the big pro’s are worth the relatively modest markup. You won’t
lose yourself in debts even while ordering the extra-cost air condition. If we
would asked what could be improved: SELL IT OUTSIDE AUSTRALIA! 8,5 out of 10!
ISSUE 05/2012 CAVALLERA OCUMA
After many relatively boring cars, we finally show you a
sports car. Are you tired of reading reviews of cars that you could throw away
to your employees?
Why aren’t you doing yourself a favor and buying a pure driving machine?
FIRST IMPRESSION AND INTERIOR
The Cavallera Ocuma is a one-seater, so you can’t even
impress your 30 years younger russian model girlfriend with your driving
skills. Well, at least you can impress her by just showing her the car: It’s
design is sharp, modern and the dual rear wing is something we rarely saw
before. The red color is a yell towards a famous Italian Company.
The interior space is limited, but not too limited for your
well-alimented stomach. We notice the excellent workmanship – Cavallera has put
maximum effort in this hypercar. Carbon decor inlays, a F1 ignition start
button, Recaro bucket seats and lightweight parts all over make you feel like a
race champion. A lap timer and gauges for oil pressure and temperature are
standard features as well as G-Forces counter.
DRIVING
If you still doubt that this is a driving machine for those
who have balls, you should notice the standard manual transmission (nope, no
sequential!) and rear-wheel drive. But the handling is not as difficult as we
first thought, if you drive it in „C“ mode, the engine and suspension are
performing well at sporty, but reasonnable driving. We leave the S-mode for the
track, and there the party starts. The engine is a rather unusual but
fascinating design, a 5,3L V8 with 5 valves and without turbo, made with an
extremely expensive magnesium block and just needing 95 octane – how strange is
that? 670 horsepower without a turbo, that is enough to propell this rocket to
nearlly 350 kph. 100 are reached in under four – despite the high downforce
that allows cornering that makes unexperienced drivers wallace and gromit. The
balance of the car is perfect, nearlly 50/50. The weight of 1,4 tons is
actually a good point, as we feel that each kilogram prevents it from taking
off. If you find somebody who is insane enough to fit a turbo in the engine
bay, the glued aluminium monocoque with aluminium panels still won’t be bent by
the force, because before that, the clutch would burn, the gearbox maybe fall
apart and your pants get wet. The engine could propably stand it, as we revved
it to the redline of 9000 RPM quite often without having any trouble.
That car plays in the league of Koenigsegg, McLaren and
Pagani. For a slightly lower price, by the way. When we cooled down the car
with some relaxed laps in C-mode, we were disappointed how fast this day had
passed. It was so much fun compared to the l4 (and sometimes l/V6) sedans we
usually drive.
WHO SHOULD BUY IT?
You, if you have the balls and the skills for it. And the
money, of course.
VERDICT:
It can stop midlife crisis, help to find a date and stops
you from having too much money to burn. If you can agree with at least one
point from these three, then take your phone and call your insurance company
how many of your Van Goghs you have to sell to get the contract. 7 out of 10!
7 Likes
Aw yiss! This is looking great for the first edition, I need to get on those Photoshops 
two pieces of feedback:
- Proofreading required
- Text formatting to make it look a little bit special
Thanks for the feedback.
I am no native speaker and it’s a looong time since I left school. 
Maybe you can send me a correct version via PM?
For the layout, I did that properly but it does not work. Maybe it’s because of the picture size, I don’t know. This is why I made that line between the articles. 
Yes, we will address the proofreading in future issues, this is still alright. If someone is willing to just take a little time to do it, that is okay, else I can do that job
1 Like
From someone who recently did stupidly long reviews (no, seriously, I think Ram can vouch for me on this one), copy from whatever text editor you used into Wordpad, then copy from Wordpad into the forum. Fixes the wonky formatting.
As for the Adventure, yeah, it’s a true Storm. Our first AlSi engine, but made by basically cutting our rather-proud AluStar V6 in half. In a modest little people mover, we didn’t want to scare the new market by plunking a whopping big V8 into something that small, then having people terrified at the gas consumption and barely-drivable nature. An I3 made sense for our first international car. An I4 could have been done, but we were looking to keep costs down, and thereby it made sense to use the same bore and stroke as an existing engine. 3 cylinders is half of 6 cylinders, so it made sense to build off of a V6 platform, and the logical one to build from was the AluStar 3-liter.
The rather spartan interior is… Admittedly, something we didn’t consider. Well, partially didn’t consider. Air conditioning, yeah, we overlooked that. Should’ve been standard, we didn’t think about that right away. Rear windows are manual because the bulk of the electrics would have made the doors too heavy to comfortably open them.
Sure, it’s not fast, but then again, it was built to get us into the market. We’ll come up with some insanity eventually, but it makes sense for the first car going into a country to be inexpensive, comfortable, and easy to drive.
As for part of that expense compared to comparable cars of the same size, well, it is a Storm. It has AWD.
And regarding selling outside Australia, not a problem. I’m sure with a few minor tweaks for region-specific markets, the Adventure will eventually find itself all over the globe.
3 Likes
I guess the format is messed up because I did it on the phone.
Happy to proof read in english or french
Umm. Was it really that bad?
Otherwise I would look for some coaching…
Nope it was quite good just offering a hand
I might come back to that soon. Depends how much bread I give to my photoshop slave imprisoned in my cellar.
That’s a good start to your magazine - what vehicle(s) will you review next? And @ramthecowy why did you use only one seat as well as give your engine five-valve heads instead of VVL?
VVL doesn’t help performance much, but adds a lot of weight. It helps mainly efficiency and maybe drivability.
One seat: weight reduction. The car was only 0.4kg under the weight of a V8 Supercar
The Company Car - issue 09/1971
Five-door hatchback cars with FWD and a lenght of approx. 3,8 meters and a weight of under a ton are the future, at least it looks that way studying the manufacter’s portfolio. So why shouldn’t they find their way into your fleet? Their practicality is definitely a pro, as well as their rather economical size. Today we compare the
FAAL Mesaia 1.6 CL,
not even half a year available at your local dealership in its MK3 version, to the
CMT Nexus 1.4 C,
not even officially on sale yet, although we managed to get a dealer’s car today, so production must have started some days ago. GL means a mid-trim Mesaia, while the C is the entry-level Nexus model.
FIRST LOOK
The Faal is some 20 kilogram heavier (921) and a few centimeters longer than the CMT, but significantly wider. A fact you acutally can not notice in the interior, strange as both are five-seaters. The CMT feels less cramped in the rear seats, as the cargo area is real short, the body is more wagon-like than the FAAL.
The interior in the FAAL has a standard level with a basic AM radio that sounds not that good, luckily you do not have to turn the volume up that much, as the engine is very quiet. In the CMT you will find exactly the same, with the difference that its engine is much louder and dominates the cabin noise.
The CMT carries respectable 344 Liters cargo (total volume: 1260L), but 308 kg load capacity are not impressive. The FAAL is able to handle 700 kg, a very impressive amount, and 587 liter cargo, but sacrificing rear seating room.
A good reason for both cars is the standard power steering, increasing the driving safety as well as their dashboards using soft materials. The steering wheels are designed to bend in case of an accident, and sharp plastic parts that cut your skin in half are eleminated where it is possible by todays standards. Both cars even offer layered crumble-glass.
DRIVE & FEEL
Although both offer the same performance on the paper (14 seconds to 100 kph, 150 kph top speed) the CMT feels a lot faster than it is. The reason is the impressive throttle response, especially compared to the FAAL the CMT feels like it can read your mind even before you press the pedal. It is not even nervous - just responsive. This can not be said for the FAAL that feels like a tired senior. On a twisty road the FAAL reveals its terrible understeering. dangerous in wide and fast corners that become suddenly narrow. We even refuse to call this an actual handling. The CMT tends to understeer as well, but behaves much more neutral, controllable even in difficult corners without needing to brake - it is often enough to lift the gas. The difference is not comprehensible as both share the same contemporary suspension layout and even having the same weight distribution 63/37.
Even the brake layout is the same, but here the cars recieve almost identical results on a pretty good level, with a slight advantage for the CMT.
When it comes to effortless commuting, the FAAL sets itself apart from the CMT. The engine is overall more quiet, and the gearing of the transmission (both come with standard four-speed manual) is longer, revving less than 3000 rpm at 100 kph highway speed.
COST & ECONOMY
The CMT needs even the same amount of fuel per 100 kilometers, being thrifty with a consumption of 10,5 liter, but annual maintenance costs are $ 30 higher, mainly the fault of its complex mechanical fuel injection system while FAAL uses a rather simple carburetor system. As these cars are contemporary in many ways, they manage to run on 91 RON unleaded fuel, although it is not mandatory yet. But it is hard to understand why the CMT with a 200ccm smaller engine and injection accellerating the same mass is not thriftier. Yes, the basic engine design is a 1964 carryover while FAAL uses a completely new engine, but the variant is all-new for 1971.
So far, so good - looks like there is no real winner - until you calculate the price. Fleet purchases are mainly a question of the price tag, and the FAAL is yours for a 7.666 $ - not too much for a city car with decent utility. The CMT requires a hefty 10.000 $ to add your company’s fleet - too much even for a modern hatchback, mainly a fault of the use of fuel injection and rust-resistant materials both for chassis and sheetmetal. Those engineer’s quirks are a boon for enthusiasts, but for a preferably as-cheap-and-simple-as-possible fleet car that needs to last at maximum five years until it’s written off those things are a rather unpopular choice.
If you plan to keep your car as long as possible AND you put emphasis on fun and handling, the CMT Nexus 1.4 C is definitely the better choice. The rest may be better off with the new FAAL Mesaia 1.6 GL.
4 Likes
Send me your cars for a review if you want. It’s very silent here…