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The Kinda Grand Tour [FINALE]


#193

Legend of Terms:

TBDC: Time Block Distance Covered. This is the amount of mileage covered during the current 2 hour period.
ODC: Overall Distance Covered. This is the total distance that the team has covered since Noon on Friday
MRL: Morale modifier
FTG: Fatigue Level
Notes: Any notes I have for your team during this time block. Including POI results, car issues, etc.

Saturday, Midnight - 6am

Weather Conditions: 47 degrees. Intermittent light rain all night. Cloudy.

All vehicles are on US101 South.

Upcoming POI (optional, let me know if you want to stop at them for rest/sightseeing): Tillamook Cheese Factory, Oregon Coast Aquarium.

Next Waypoint(s): Fort Stevens State Park, OR, Seal Rock, OR

VicVictory:
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 383 mi MRL: +0 FTG: -10 Notes: Team is asleep; alarm set for 6:30am.

@yurimacs
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 393 mi MRL: +0 FTG: -9 Notes: Team is asleep at Fort Stevens State Park.

@Vri404
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 393 mi MRL: +0 FTG: -7 Notes: Team got a rude awakening at 5am by one of their neighbors having an alarm go off. At 6am, they are packed and ready to hit the road.

@Madrias
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 393 mi MRL: +0 FTG: -8 Notes: Team is asleep at Fort Stevens State Park.

@BobLoblaw
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 393 mi MRL: +0 FTG: -7 Notes: Team got a rude awakening at 5am by one of their neighbors having an alarm go off. At 6am, they are packed and ready to hit the road.

@CriticalSet9849
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 393 mi MRL: +0 FTG: -9 Notes: Team is asleep at Fort Stevens State Park.

@BailsMackenzie
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 408 mi MRL: +0 FTG: -11 Notes: Waypoint completed: Team is asleep at a motel in Seaside, OR.

@Mikonp7
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 393 mi MRL: +0 FTG: -8 Notes: Team is asleep at Fort Stevens State Park.

@TheBobWiley
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 491 mi MRL: +0 FTG: -12 Notes: Team asleep at Chinook Winds Resort Casino.

@DeusExMackia
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 393 mi MRL: +0 FTG: -9 Notes: Team got a rude awakening at 5am by one of their neighbors having an alarm go off. At 6am, they are packed and ready to hit the road.

@HighOctaneLove
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 393 mi MRL: +0 FTG: -9 Notes: Team is asleep at Fort Stevens State Park.

@strop
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 350 mi MRL: +0 FTG: -10 Notes: Sleeping at the Seaquest Motel in Raymond, WA.

@stm316
TBDC: 121 mi OD: 365 mi MRL: +0 FTG: -2 Notes: Team is underway, and has had the opportunity to experience sunrise as they drive along. Refueled in Aberdeen, WA.

@JohnWaldock / @Sillyducky
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 393 mi MRL: +0 FTG: -9 Notes: Team is asleep at Fort Stevens State Park.

@abg7
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 393 mi MRL: +0 FTG: -8 Notes: Team is asleep at Fort Stevens State Park.

@rileybanks
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 393 mi MRL: +0 FTG: -8 Notes: Team is asleep at Fort Stevens State Park.

@koolkei / @FrankNSTein
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 393 mi MRL: -1 FTG: -8 Notes: Team’s alarm went off at 5am. As they were getting ready and packing up, they were visited by the Park Ranger, who has momentarily detained them, and given them a $200 citation for noise violations during quiet hours.

@Rk38
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 383 mi MRL: +0 FTG: -11 Notes: Team is asleep at the Astoria Crest Motel

@Nomade0013 / @ramthecowy
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 393 mi MRL: +0 FTG: -8 Notes: Team got a rude awakening at 5am by one of their neighbors having an alarm go off. At 6am, they are packed and ready to hit the road.

@SkylineFTW97
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 393 mi MRL: +0 FTG: -8 Notes: Team is asleep at Fort Stevens State Park.

The following cars are within visual range or in a pack:

None - Only one car is actually on the road.

Team Greasy Lightning

Team/Car info

(No RP this time period, team is asleep)


#194

Team Twin-Snail

Previous Stage


Luke was glad that they’d set up camp on the other side of the park as he picked up the sound of a terrifyingly annoying alarm going off. He looked at the tents, still dampened from the rain all night, then toward the sky to see the clouds. It was a comfortable 8.3 degrees Celsius outside, and Luke had to fight rolling the windows down to let the cold into the car. Inside, it was a lot closer to about 21 degrees Celsius, given that even at night-rest, he still had full processing power.

But, his plan was to just let his team sleep in. Sure, it gave them a late start, but he could make up for that late start by driving faster.


Aftermath

MRL: +9 (No Change) Too far away to hear the alarms going off.
FTG: -1 (-8) Somehow un-tired.

Car Condition:
Brakes still need to be fixed, and the engine is still off.


#195

##Team Artiseros
(No rp at the moment,trio in sleep mode)


#Overall Stats

Fatigue: -1 (sleeping is good)

Morale: 12 (nothing happening)


#196

Team Bamford

Three of our heros are asleep, whilst Phil has gotten up and gone outside to have a smoke.

Upon reaching for a smoke Phil realizes that he is nowhere near the hotel and is quite badly lost.
Unfazed he reaches for a cigarette and pulls one out of his arm, leaving a perfect cigarette sized hole in his forearm.

Now very alert and studying the hole in his arm, it becomes apparent that he’s bleeding heavily from the wound.
And then the flashbacks come, tied up in a hotel room with his insane girlfriend as she completes drawing a pentagram on the floor in chalk, chanting all the while as she sharpens a butchers knife that she stole.

Phillip tries to snap out of it, but it’s real, he’s tied to the bed.

The knife raises in the air and quickly heaves into his chest, he screams.

“What the F***?” yells Jason, as he falls out of bed.

Phillip readjusts to the room, it’s the Motel in Seaside again and there’s a large wall of pillows next to him.

“Sorry, I guess I was just having a bad dream”


#197

#Team ‘Southend or Bust’
Original Post - Previous Post

All was quiet in the park campsite. The Southend tent was silent too. And then…
“Ohhhargggh” moaned Seb as he was jolted awake by the sound of the alarm. He rubbed his eyes and turned to find his watch - 5:00am on the dot. You’ve got to be kidding me he thought to himself.
Shortly following this, James learned that they had been woken up at this horridly early time by the alarm and proceeded to get rather angry about it.
“Oh my f*cKING CHRIST, WHAT MONGREL DECIDED TO SET THEIR ALARM SO THE WHOLE OF WASHINGTON STATE COULD HEAR IT?” he shouted.
“James, we’re in Oregon” said Martin, with an equally grumpy tone.
“IT’S ONLY ACROSS THE RIVER, MY POINT STANDS” James returned quickly. He forced the zips open on the tent and stomped outside.

He was joined by the equally unhappy members of Outriders and the Apex Predators, as well as The Cowys. None were very happy. But as to who has set the alarm so early and so loudly, it wasn’t clear. James went back into the tent, having barely had time to get his PJs on before he’d stormed out. He looked at the other two.
“Well, we’re up now, might as well get going!” he said sarcastically.
Martin turned to Seb. “He’s gonna be like this all day, isn’t he”.
“Yep Martin, that he is”


Go West Deathtrap Tour [FINISHED]
#198

Our Protagonists Almost Die Before They Even Get To The Start
Our Protagonists Are Introduced And Act Like Somewhat Normal People
In Which They Noise Pollute Like College Frat Boys And Are Thoroughly Outdone by a Blue Man
In Which They Argue About Playing Gay Chicken With Keys Being Hidden in Unmentionable Places

Seriously read my shit, this is going downhill so fast. Or not. Some of it’s so horrible I feel like I should include a trigger warning for mild bro-on-bro sexual assault or something

#Team Flaming Fart Cannon

Raindrops keep falling on my head,
And just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed,
Nothing seems to fit,
Those raindrops keep falling on my head,
They keep falling-

Strop’s eyes cracked open, then he blinked, as another drop fell on his head. Where the hell was he? Last he remembered, he was in a bed… it wasn’t his own bed.

Drip. Another drop. He stared upwards and squinted. A face with a shock of red hair squinted back.

“FUCK.” Strop sat bolt upright, almost cracking his head on Kai’s face, if not for the latter’s race driver reflexes. “Seriously what the fuck man, and why are you wet.”

Kai bounced off the bed, leaving a big wet patch. “There was a nice pool.”

Strop boggled. “First, as if the pool would be open at… what, six in the morning, and second, this motel doesn’t even have a pool so where the fuck were you.”

Kai shrugged. “I dunno. Also, it was more like four. I got bored because I can’t find the keys.” He paused, before turning to fix Strop with a meaningful stare. “Did you actually shove them up your butt?”

“No! As if I would!” Strop shrank back, horrified, but more horrified still when they both heard the telltale clink of keys in the vicinity of Strop’s crotch.

“The keys say otherwise!” Kai advanced towards Strop, who was now backed up all the way against the bedboard. “Okay okay man, just keep calm, I know it sounds stupid but I honestly thought you were gonna jack the car overnight because you’re a total race otaku and AHHHH OH MY GOD-”

That was the moment Kai, still maintaining direct eye contact with Strop, plunged his hand down Strop’s pants and started ferreting around Strop’s goods for the keys.

At this point, I shall deliberately break the fourth wall, as this passage’s author, to pause for a moment of reflection. You may be thinking what am I doing writing such explicit content in such poor taste. And why doesn’t poor Strop simply grab Kai’s hand and rip it off for invading his sanctum in such a licentious fashion. Well, I can’t say I speak purely from experience here, but I ask you to imagine what it feels like to have your jimmies forcibly rustled: it’s actually pretty paralysing. Remember kiddies, victim blaming ain’t cool.

After a good twenty seconds (or an eternity) of squirming and a hand being in places it was never invited to, ever, Kai fished out the keys and triumphantly held them aloft. “Behold! The fruits of your labour!” He promptly went to christen the keys and baptise them in bleach while Strop rolled around on the floor clutching his violated goolies.

By the time Kai finished, his hands were red raw, and Strop had regathered the remnants of his non-existent dignity, changed, and headed to the bathroom to brush his teeth. “Did you enjoy that Kai?” he spat between scrubs. “Did you enjoy rustling my jimmies? Did your bisexual self feel like it was neglecting the feeling of playing with balls?”

Kai blew a raspberry at Strop. “Hope it was as good for you as it was for me.”

Inwardly, Strop growled, and brushed the remainder of his teeth in awkward silence.

Twenty minutes later, Strop’s glower had not faded much, staring daggers at Kai over breakfast. “I still can’t believe you actually went that far.”

“Hey man, you were the one who shoved the keys down your pants. I totally told you I’d get them back.” He suspiciously eyed the world-famous BBQ oysters (seriously? Oysters for breakfast?), favouring the pancakes, and pancakes with syrup, and pancakes with jam, and poached eggs, and bacon, and fried mushrooms. “So it was totally fair warning.”

Strop huffed, but said nothing. After all, Kai was literally correct, and judging by the smug grin on his face rating a 10 on the ‘would dearly like to punch’ scale, he knew it.

“Never do that again or I’m seriously telling Bianca.”

Even Strop’s trump card folded. “What, about your key in butt fetish? Can you imagine explaining to E how you hid the keys up your butt? Yeah, I thought so, doesn’t sound good no matter how you spin it hahahahaha.”

Well, of course. Somewhere along the way this line of event had gone from sounding like a good idea at the time, to kind of stupid, to not making even any sense at all. Just like their car and this entire trip! Whatever!

Though that didn’t quite erase the weirdness of him putting the keys down his pants and having one of his best friends with whom he shared zero sexual tension put his hand down his pants. You know, just best friends… copping a feel. Eurgh.

Seven o’clock, and the steam of their breath drifted through the light drizzle. Kai was inappropriately attired, as usual, thanks to his weird Scandanavian cold resistance. Strop was in his puffy waterproof jacket. Since Kai had the keys once more, it seemed he would continue driving, as was his wont.

“What are you doing Kai,” he said as Kai fished a suspicious looking bar out of his pocket and promptly jammed it between the driver’s door and the window sill of Toothless. “Are you seriously breaking into your own car.”

“Duh,” Kai said, sliding the bar down, yanking it and popping the door open in all of four seconds. Ten seconds later and he had cracked the fuse box and hotwired the car, the engine cranking to life. “Did you forget I spent like a year being the Phantom of the Street after I got fired from my last job before GG?” He finally looked at Strop, whose face indeed confirmed that yes, he had completely forgotten this fact, the final underscore to the complete and utter uselessness of his defiant gesture of stupidity. Then he started laughing.

“As if I’m going to touch those keys again. After where they been, they’re going up in flames along with the rest of the car!”


MRL: 6+ (or more like 10+ for Kai, -4 for Strop, at least, temporarily)
FTG: 0


#199

Reminds me of the time I pulled a trick like that in real life and my mate responded by kicking me in the crotch.


#200

a) your mate must have had training in the art of resisting jimmie rustling
b) you pulled a trick like that??? Dude.


#201

a) The mate who kicked me has a long history of attempted jimmie rustling (I could write a book on our strange relationship, but I won’t)

b) In my defense I dropped the keys down my leg instead of aiming for the middle.

It was at a big party and the conversation that night went something like this:
“Hey let’s take (my name)'s car for a run!” said my mate, knowing that the obvious way to get a reaction out of me is to threaten my 1980’s Skyline.

“You want to drive MY car? Let’s see you find my keys now!” I replied
Extend pants out, drops keys
“Go on then, try and get them” I continued, moving into my best karate fighting stance

And then mere moments later I was on the floor, clutching my damaged manhood with one hand and defending the keys with the other, it worked and I emerged as the moral victor.


#202

moral victor… right… not sure if i wanna ask further.

@strop
a lil bit nsfw.
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]


#203

@strop Can confirm this was me after reading that.
http://imgur.com/5aFZHyV


#204

Team Mr. Hankey

Having awoken at 5:00, it didn’t take long for the team to get ready for the upcoming day’s drive. This meant that after their “breakfast” of muesli bars and Orange Pekoe tea, there was still enough time to pack up before dawn.
They figured that the sooner they hit the road, the more likely they’d catch up to some of the other teams.

Bill: Okay. We’re probably a couple of hundred kays behind the rest of them, but this early start should help a bit.
Toni: Well, we’re probably not going to catch anyone now, but that’s no reason not to enjoy the trip.
Wookiee: Then let’s roll.
Bill turned the key, and the 38 year old V8 fired up. After waiting for the temp gauge to come up, just as Bill was about to put the car in 1st…
Wookiee: HOLD IT. Gotta go… like, now.
Bill: :rage:


#205

brb dying


#206

TEAM OUTRIDERS

Blake: (groan) Great, some dipshit has an alarm going this early. Well, might as well get up.

Blake crawls out of his tent to see Marc and Luigi also awake by the same alarm. The three men set to work breaking down camp. Blake got to work making coffee and boiling water for breakfast while Marc and Luigi broke down the tents and put everything in the car. The three men drank coffee and had their breakfast which each consisted of an oatmeal packet with hot water poured inside. A simple approach that leaves you only having to clean a spoon. By six the car was loaded up and they were ready to go.

Luigi: Seatbelts.

Marc: Why bother, your driving is so slow we wouldn’t even be dangerous to a bicycle.

Luigi: I’m sorry, I don’t drive like it’s Poland in 1939.

Blake: Isn’t it a little early for this?

Marc: You’re right, we should just tie a cannoli to a string and hook it up to the front of the car, maybe then this old bitch will drive faster.

Blake: Watch it now, you don’t want your blood pressure going up.

Luigi: He’s fine, he never gets high blood pressure thanks to ED.

Marc: Funny, you mother was of a different opinion.

Luigi: Impossible, my mother only likes men!

Marc: You are your mother’s son.

Luigi: What are you implying?

Marc: That you’re a homo, I thought that was obvious.

Blake: How do you account for Isabella?

Marc: She’s just the closet door.

Luigi: First deli we find I’m stuffing pork in his mouth. Until then how about some music?


#207

[quote=“VicVictory, post:193, topic:20895, full:true”]

Legend of Terms:

TBDC: Time Block Distance Covered. This is the amount of mileage covered during the current 2 hour period.
ODC: Overall Distance Covered. This is the total distance that the team has covered since Noon on Friday
MRL: Morale modifier
FTG: Fatigue Level
Notes: Any notes I have for your team during this time block. Including POI results, car issues, etc.

Saturday, 6am - 8am

Weather Conditions: 48 degrees. Cloudy. Pavement is still wet from overnight rain.

All vehicles are on US101 South.

Upcoming POI (optional, let me know if you want to stop at them for rest/sightseeing): Tillamook Cheese Factory, Oregon Coast Aquarium. Any POI you can find/message me about between Newport, OR and Eureka, CA.

Next Waypoint(s): Fort Stevens State Park, OR, Seal Rock, OR. Bullards Beach, OR.

VicVictory:
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 383 mi MRL: +2 FTG: -0 Notes: Team is awake, showered, and has eaten the free breakfast at the motel. They are heading out at 8a, feeling fully refreshed.

@yurimacs
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 393 mi MRL: +4 FTG: -3 Notes: Team wakes up at 7am and has broken camp/packed up by 8am. Team is feeling mostly refreshed.

@Vri404
TBDC: 107 mi OD: 500 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +0 Notes: None.

@Madrias
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 393 mi MRL: +4 FTG: -2 Notes: Team wakes up at 7am and has broken camp/packed up by 8am. Team is feeling fully refreshed. NOTE: Parts store will be open at 8am, but will take a 10 mile backtrack to get there and a minimum of 30 minutes in store. Do you wish to visit the parts store?

@BobLoblaw
TBDC: 93 mi OD: 486 mi MRL: +1 FTG: -1 Notes: Luigi pulled over at a coffee stand, any protests not withstanding. (Boy, the coffee out here is strong! Whoo! -1 fatigue, team now feels fully refreshed)

@CriticalSet9849
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 393 mi MRL: +4 FTG: -4 Notes: Team woke up at 8am, and will be ready to leave at 9am. They are feeling mostly refreshed.

@BailsMackenzie
TBDC: 27 mi OD: 435 mi MRL: +2 FTG: -0 Notes: Team awake, showered, fed, and on the road by 7:30am. Team feels fully refreshed.

@Mikonp7
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 393 mi MRL: +4 FTG: -4 Notes: Team woke up at 7am, and will be on the road at 8am. team feels fully refreshed.

@TheBobWiley
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 491 mi MRL: +1 FTG: -5 Notes: Team awake at 7, on the road by 8am. Team is having a hard time getting their bodies and minds going this morning.

@DeusExMackia
TBDC: 76 mi OD: 469 mi MRL: +2 FTG: -2 Notes: Half hour rest taken at the Tillamook Cheese Factory. (Flaming Fart Cannons arrives 15 minutes in to your rest)

@HighOctaneLove
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 393 mi MRL: +4 FTG: -2 Notes: Team woke up at 7a, ready to go at 8a. Team feels refreshed.

@strop
TBDC: 104 mi OD: 350 mi MRL: +2 FTG: +0 Notes: Waypoint completed: Fort Stevens State park. Team arrives at Tillamook Cheese factory ar 730a. (Team Southend is already here)

@stm316
TBDC: 102 mi OD: 467 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +0 Notes: Lifter tick has developed. Waypoint complete: Fort Stevens State Park.

@JohnWaldock / @Sillyducky
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 393 mi MRL: +4 FTG: -3 Notes: Team woke up at 7am, ready at 8am. Team feels refreshed.

@abg7
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 393 mi MRL: +4 FTG: -3 Notes: Team woke up at 7am, ready at 8am. team feels somewhat refreshed.

@rileybanks
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 393 mi MRL: +4 FTG: -3 Notes: Team woke up at 7am, ready at 8am. team feels mostly refreshed.

@koolkei / @FrankNSTein
TBDC: 106 mi OD: 499 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +0 Notes: None.

@Rk38
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 383 mi MRL: +2 FTG: +0 Notes: Team showered, fed, and on the road at 8am. Team feels fully refreshed.

@Nomade0013 / @ramthecowy
TBDC: 105 mi OD: 498 mi MRL:+1 FTG: +0 Notes: None.

@SkylineFTW97
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 393 mi MRL: +4 FTG: -3 Notes: Team was awake by 7am and ready to go by 8am. Team feels somewhat refreshed.

The following cars are within visual range or in a pack:

None - Only one car is actually on the road.

Team Greasy Lightning

Team/Car info

Rick stepped into the lobby of the Astoria Crest Motel, rubbing his bare hands together and blowing in them. Though it was by no means freezing outside, Rick had just finished packing the trunk of the Chancellor, including all of their coats, and his jeans-and-t-shirt couture were no match for the elements.

He went to make the turn toward their room, but Jen and Fuzz emerged from the hallway just as he got to it.

“All packed,” Rick chirped with cheer. “We can grab a bite and then go.”

“They better have coffee here,” Fuzz yawned.

“Just follow Jen,” Rick chuckled. “Putting coffee anywhere near her in the morning is like chumming the water for a shark.”

Jen lifted one eyebrow and grunted, but nonetheless followed her deep (and oddly modern) instinct to hunt coffee. Fuzz groggily trudged behind her. Rick instead grabbed a bottle of orange juice, and picked up a fresh plate at the start of the buffet line. He exchanged smiles with the man just in front of him in line. It took Rick a moment to recognize him.

“You’re Mitch, right?” Rick asked.

Mitch turned toward him. “Yeah mate. You’re from Greasy Lightning, aren’t you?”

“Yeah. I’m Rick. My wife Jen and my brother-in-law Fuzz… er… Ted… are over there,” he pointed to the pair of humanoids hunched over their drinks, nursing them as if they were the very life blood of existence.

“A pleasure, Rick. My mates Sam and Dan should be here in a minute. Just grabbing something before we go.”

“Same here. You guys want to join us? It would be nice to have a little conversation to start the day, and I’m afraid these two aren’t quite ready yet.”

Mitch nodded. “Yeah, that works.”

Rick filled his plate with scrambled eggs, fruit, and bacon, and also snagged a single-serve yogurt cup. They walked over to the table just in time for Jen to get up and drag herself to the buffet. On the way, she smacked Fuzz in the back of the head.

He snorted and startled; Rick hadn’t realized that the young cop had fallen asleep.

“I’m coming, ma!” he shouted, followed by a loud expletive as he banged his knee on the table jumping up to follow Jen.

Rick shook his head, then grinned and glanced over at Mitch. “Sometimes it’s just fun to watch, I guess. I don’t mean it to be a jerk. It’s just… cute… how they can’t function this early without coffee.”

“Right. What about you?” Mitch smiled.

“Oh, I’m used to it. I get up at just after 5 in the morning for work. These two?” Rick chuckled, then pointed at his wife. “She doesn’t start work till 10 am or later. Once I go down, she binges Netflix most of the night. And him?” Rick’s finger swung over to Fuzz. “Swing shift. I don’t think he’s seen a sunrise in 15 years.”

mitch nodded. He noticed out of the corner of his eye that his teammates had arrived. He gestured to them to get food at join the table. Jen returned to the table with an entirely predictable breakfast of yogurt, granola, and fruit, as well as a second cup of coffee.

“Feeling human yet, hun?” Rick asked.

“Merrrrr…” she replied.

“So why do you call him Fuzz, anyway?” Mitch queried.

“Ah…” RIck paused for a second, caught slightly off guard. “Well, he was a juvenile delinquent. Then became a cop. Irony, right?”

Mitch thought for a moment. “Yeah, or a change of paradigm. Kind of like your choice for a car this time around. At Roulette Runner you had that little Suzume, now this time around you bring a big old Ardent Chancellor. Any reason for the big change there?”

“Yeah,” Jen blurted. “I didn’t want to drag my ass on the ground, but I broke the other car.”

“No one said you broke the car, hon.”

“Tell that to Fuzz.”

“Like I said, no one said that,” Rick quipped.

“I heard that, Rick! Just remember, I get shotgun first!”

Shit, Rick thought.

“Anyway,” he continued. “It’s not all different. The Suzume’s engine is under the hood of the Chancellor. And it just seemed right to be going on a coastal cruise in either a land yacht or a convertible. Guess which one we found first.”

(to be continued by @Rk38)


#208

Team Twin-Snail

Previous Stage


At 7 AM, team Twin-Snail began the slow task of getting up out of the tents, having something quick to eat, then started packing up the camp. Linda was the first to grumble about breakfast being cold cheeseburgers, with Scott admitting it wasn’t that bad, and Amy reminding Linda about their current area, that it wouldn’t take very long to find more food on the road.

7:30 rolled around and Luke started the car, leaving it in neutral with the parking brake on, but the transmission not being in park, letting the car have plenty of time to warm up and be ready for the journey ahead of them.

“So, parts store.” Amy said, lightly kicking Linda as she sat there, chewing on a burger much like a mouse chews a cookie. Linda ignored her, only to yell as Amy kicked her again, this time with purpose behind it. “Look up the nearest parts store, Linda! Jesus fucking Christ, you’re slow in the morning.”

“I haven’t had any coffee yet.” Linda mumbled, still procrastinating over the cold burger.

Scott rolled his eyes, then said, “Linda, knock it off and just look up the nearest available store. We’ll get some coffee on the road. Bound to be a coffee place nearby.”

Eventually, Linda gave an exasperated sigh and grabbed her phone, looking up nearby automotive parts stores.

“The closest one is a ten mile backtrack, and opens at 8.” Linda grumbled. “And it’s across the street from a coffee and donuts place, so while you guys are getting brake shit for the car, I’m going to have a coffee.”

“My guess would be… 30 minutes if we get someone who knows what the hell they’re doing, about an hour if we get someone who can’t tell the difference between a brake pad and a floor mat.” Luke said.

“Can we get a turbocharger?” Amy asked.

“For the last time, no. I’m not blowing up the engine because someone’s gone boost-crazy.” Luke replied.

8 AM rolled around as the last of the camp had been packed away, and everyone got into the car.


Aftermath

MRL: +13 (+4) - Feeling Lucky.
FTG: -3 (-2) - Surprisingly rather alert.
Status: Ready to Roll

Car Condition: Still needs those brake parts.

Notes: Team plans to backtrack to the parts store.


#209

Hey @DeusExMackia you got anything specific in mind for when we shatter the tranquility of your stop at the Cheese factory? We’re gonna be fast and rambunctious :joy:


#210

Team Bamford

Phil and Jason were still asleep in the motel as Ken and Simon began their check of the car, being an old race driver Ken was always superstitious and had to prepare his cars in a certain way each morning, Phil had reluctantly given up his keys the night before so this ritual could continue.

By the time Jason had showered and joined the duo, they had jacked the car up and rotated the tyres.

“Morning Simon, Pops” called Jason as he crossed the car park carrying his suitcase “How’s the check-up going?”

“Strange” replied Ken “We rotated the tyres and that’s about it”

“What about everything else?”

“Have a look in here, this is why I don’t like Phil”

Jason walked around to the boot of the Bamford and saw the contents of the car…

Phillip, in his wisdom and sure-fire reliability of the car had packed a wheel brace and jack, a plank of wood and 6 cigarette lighters into a box marked “Tools” the rest of the boot was filled with a miniature hotplate and gas bottle, two tents and sleeping bags, a lot of food, a chopping board and cutlery set and to top off the crazy, 6 house bricks.

“What?” asked Jason

“Exactly, once Phil comes down he can start driving us around”

“You know he kept me up half the night, he keeps having nightmares about that girlfriend of his”

Just then Phil walked into view, dressed in his day clothes and carrying his suitcase which had “Why is this full of bricks? - US Customs” written on the side in chalk.

“Are we ready to rock?” asked the smiling fool as he loaded the suitcase into the car

“Yeah, just start her up, we rotated the tyres for you”

Phil jumped in and held his foot flat while cranking the car over, instantly flooding the carbys.

“Oh you dick” moaned Ken as fuel dribbled out of the exhaust “You’ve f****ed it”

Phil raced around the car, taking a lighter from the boot and popping the bonnet.

Ken hated to admit but he’d been admiring Phil’s set-up, he’d explained that the original carbys didn’t fit under the hood so the previous owner had run the engine without an air filter, so when Phil got the car the only real work he did was add his own custom side-draught weber set-up to the engine, which he had secured off a Dodge inline 6 and tirelessly reworked the casting so it fit the Workhorse engine.

“I learnt this one from Roadkill” he yelled seconds before a massive flash of flame emerged from the engine.

Panicking, the trio ran to find Phil standing aback, somehow remaining fine after setting fire to the excess fuel in the engine.

“She should start fine now” smiled Phil, brushing his hair to make sure it wasn’t burnt.


And true to his word, the Workhorse fired on the first key turn, one last check was made of their hotel rooms, the keys were turned in and the red mongrel chuffed out of the car park and onto the open road.


#211

Team ‘Routed…


Original Post | Previous Post


Team awoke to the random babbling of the TV…all background noise. Dan and Mitch had managed to drown the snoring out but they never figured out how to set the TV to sleep. It was some abhorrent morning TV show. A bunch of mannequin-like people beaming with unnaturally white teeth.

No one should be that happy this early Dan thought as he roused himself from the warm cosy protection of the bed. They ramble on about something probably Trump as it always seemed to be these days. The instant they TV set turned off a calm and refreshing silence filled the room.

The lack of background chatter roused Sam from his snoozing. Mitch was ready up…already getting some breakfast. Dan checked his watch. That’s right he’s the sort of chap who still keeps an old fashion watch.

“Damn! It’s getting late!” he exclaimed.

“Hey!” Dan said giving Sam a few nudges “Come on, get dressed, we need to grab some breakfast and head out!”

“Ugh…yeah, yeah” Sam responded trying to wipe away the drowsiness.

Once they left the warm room to the chill of morning air. They noticed the Chancellor was still there. It even looked like Mitch had even packed most of the gear into the Maesima already. So now they could relax a bit and maybe even enjoy a nice breakfast.

They stepped into the lobby of the Astoria Crest Motel. Finding the continental breakfast lounge it looked like an impressive spread. The usual American kind with all sorts of things like bagels and doughnuts for breakfast! But much to the dismay of Dan there was no sign of kettle or any tea…figures.

I suppose coffee or orange juice will have to suffice. Just then they spot Mitch. Sitting with the ‘Team Greasy Lightning’ deep in conversation. He seemed to gesture in a way that indicated they should get some food first then head over. Sam was dreading human contact this early.

He was barely functioning and nothing as subtle as the tea to wake him up. Instead just the violent kick of a coffee…American coffee at that. He’d need a full complement of savoury and sweet to get him through. Sam loaded up with bacon and eggs, a bagel, waffle, muffin plus a sort of danish and a big cup of joe.

Dan too had settled for a large cup of coffee. In a daring move decided he would try a proper American breakfast. A big plate of flapjacks drowning in maple syrup plus that crispy bacon and sunny side up eggs.

They made their way to the table awkwardly waving as went. But once they had settled into their seats. Catching the end of a conversation about cars…of course.

“Ah, well here’s the rest of the team,” Mitch announced as everyone introduced themselves.

“So you’re a family team then?” Sam said putting the piece together in his head.

“Yeah, that’s right Sam. I’m guessing you’re not an exactly…um a father-son team right?” Rick joked.

“Nah we’re just good mates is all,” Sam said with a smile as the team chuckled amongst themselves.

“Oh, yeah Sam and me we got waaay back," Dan said gesturing to Sam with coffee in his hand.

“Wait, so what about you?” Jen interrupted in a burst of caffeine fuelled lucidity.

“Oh well-” yawned Sam still adjusting to the morning.

“Funny story actually…” Mitch piped up leaning over another team.

“Well, you see in New South Wales the state we’re from…well, where we all live now anyway. They have this bloody stupid nanny state system for rego and such…”

Mitch then paused taking in the confused faces of the Rick, Jen and a sleepy Ted.

“Err…registration and such of cars I mean.” The other team finally nodded in understanding.

“So every few years you gotta get your cars checked out by approved folks,” Mitch said.

“Yeah, so one day I’m headin-” Sam interrupted hoping to shorten Mitch’s loong tales. But he was quickly cut off again.

“Um…I’m tellin’ the story here alright mate?” Sam rolled his eyes and returned to his breakfast.

“So where was it? Oh, that’s right.” He said with smile “I’m one of those blokes that runs a small time mechanical service like that. It’s not my main job but every now and then it’s handy to make a few bucks…or even a few stubbies on the side y’know what I mean?”

“I think so but what’s a stub…bee?” Rick inquired. You could tell from Jen and Ted’s blank look they’ve all got a bit lost in translation.

“It’s just like a bottle of beer really” Dan pointed out. “Aussie slang we’ll try to keep things simple right?” he said looking towards Mitch.

“Sure thing,” Mitch said giving Dan and nod. “So Anyway these two clowns come here wanting their safety check done and such.” Mitch chuckles. “I tell ya they may know their computers. But they’re bloody hopeless if you need them to do any real work on their cars.”

'So yeah we got to talking and Mitch is a great bloke really you want a car he’s your man!" Dan added.

Excuse me, I’m actually a pretty damn good software engineers thank you very much!” Sam said, “…and I actually change my own oil and stuff…” He began trailing off clearly losing heart.

“Oh, really Sam?” Rick asked, “Because it just so happened that I’m also a software engineer!” Sam’s face lit up and Rick and Sam entered into a conversation too boring detail. But needless to say, they got on rather well.

Mitch settled into his breakfast. While making attempts to converse with Fuzz between his flashes of wakefulness. Attempting to tease out any details of the police force. Hoping to gain some insight or advantage. So the team might avoid another speeding ticket disaster like last time.

Meanwhile, Dan has polished off most of his breakfast. It also appeared as though the coffee had its desired effect, Dan and Jen. Bring them into some at least resembling proper consciousness. After a few minutes of painful small talk. They stuck upon a common interest in Netflix programming. Both of them enjoyed binge watching.

After the breakfast the teams exchanged pleasantries. Wishing each other good luck on the race. As they both were about to head their separate ways in their cars. Sam dived into the boot and grabbed out a small container of strange black spread.

He rushed over to the idling Chancellor. “Hey, we forgot to bring this out for breakfast. But we thought we’d give it to you guys as…err token of friendship between our nations…or something.” Sam smiled while handing it to them. “We’ll have to do this again sometime.” Rick said grabbing the strange container labelled ‘Vegemite’. “Hey don’t worry we’ve got plenty leftover,” Sam assured them. “Good Luck! See Ya!” Sam blurted out dashing over into the back of the Maesima.

Once back in the car the others asked Sam. “You did remember how to use it? ” Mitch asked,

“…and to tell them what it is right?” Dan added.

“Oh, f#$k!” Sam uttered.

“Great, we meet a nice team and now you’re going to make them hate us,” complained Dan.

“You know they’ll treat it like peanut butter and try and eat a spoon full of it!” Dan continued.

“Well, they’ll probably never even try it” Mitch tried to assure Sam.

As the Maesima glided out of the parking lot and back onto the highway.

(Hopefully did justice to your team @VicVictory)


#212

Yes @strop! Follow my lead :smiley:


#Team ‘Southend or Bust’
Original Post - Previous Post

The story so far: It’s day two of the adventure and our three guys have had a rude awakening at the campsite. They’re on the road now, but someone in particular can’t seem to shrug off their grump…

“So he just gave you that jacket?” asked Seb, taking his eyes off of the road to glance at it.
“Yeah! Isn’t he kind eh” replied Martin, who had been wearing it since they got on the road.
“Really like the pattern on the sleeves, and the logo looks gre-”
“Oh give it a rest you too” said James, slowly and with a yawn.
Seb sighed. “Look, grumpy guts, we’re very sorry your beauty sleep got ruined, but it’s in the past now, please get over it”.
“You wanna talk about getting over stuff in the past, do you?” replied James. Seb grimaced.
“James, please grow up”
“Okaaay, what if, what if we were all friendly and didn’t bicker?” said Martin, trying to bring some calm.
“I would be friendly Martin” James started, “If I’d had enough sleep”
Martin also sighed. “Oh man, I give up”

James started rambling, again, while the other two did their best to ignore him. “I’m glad you’re driving” said Martin.
“Yeah, thanks” replied Seb, sounding annoyed.
James rant suddenly ended, however, when he saw the sign for the Tillamook Cheese Factory, and he began screaming almost uncontrollably the words “Cheese Factory, Cheese Factory!”
Martin thought for a moment. “Will you promise to shut up for the rest of the day if we stop there?”
James had turned into a child. “Yes, yes, I’m sorry about earlier, I just want to get some cheese!”
“Alrighty then” said Martin, slightly confused. Seb turned off the main road and they stopped off.

.

Having had a quick look around the visitor centre, the boys were in the factory cafe, where they’d all ordered the Grilled Cheese Breakfast. James was also insisting that they go in the gift shop afterwards to get some souvenirs, namely more cheese.
“I never thought this would work” said Seb, inspecting the cheese and bacon combination sitting next to the egg-in-the-hole toast and potatoes, “but it’s…really nice”
“I know right!” said James with a bit of a mouthful.
Martin looked at him, still confused. He whispered to Seb, “I’m slightly concerned this might be a mood swing”

Just then, the sound of a song started to appear, as well as the sound of a car speeding into the carpark. The song became clearer…


It stopped shortly after, and Flaming Fart Cannon got out of their car.
“What was that?” asked James, vaguely recognising the song.
Seb stood up to try and get a look at the car out of the window. “I think that’s the GG lot”
“Oh nice, we’ll be able to have breakfast with them!” said Martin happily, highly unaware that that wasn’t going to go down well.
Moments later, Stop and Kai burst into the cafe.

To be continued by @strop