Home | Wiki | Live Chat | Dev Stream | YouTube | Archived Forums | Contact

The Kinda Grand Tour [FINALE]


So Cole and John were talking later that night. Both of them had been drinking a little much. Someone knocked on the door of Cole’s apartment. “Someone parked some ancient truck, something JHW, in my spot, was it you?” Cole then said “yes, I’ll move it” and told John to just stay. It’s almost midnight and he has had a few too many beers but Cole got the keys anyways. He came out to the parking lot, barely. He got in the truck and forgetting about the M1 in his other spot, which he normally has open. He then started to drive the truck over to the other spot, ignoring the tiny 3 door. In complete intoxicated idiocy he just started to run over the tiny lift back and the weight of truck crushed the back. “Shit! That was the car!” The front of the M1 was fine but the back was ruined. The suspension was bent and the window cracked. The trunk lid didn’t even resemble a back of a car. Of course the steel truck didn’t even resemble any damage other than a few white streaks on the rusted bumper. He went inside feeling like a total dumbass to tell John the news. “Well, I fucked my car, I guess we just have the truck now…” John didn’t ask because he knew Cole was pissed. He found out later when he left to go home and laughed his ass off all night. They then made plans for the truck. John would learn more about it and propose mods. Cole would then overview his proposal and make his own adjustments. They would then agree on what worked best and buy the parts. Even if they just want to keep it stock it’ll need a few parts that aren’t rusted, it looks like it was in a salt water bath for years.

Does this work @koolkei ?

And this is the new plan @JohnWaldock so just PM me the car files please and a file with your suggestions for mods.


I’m not really into roleplaying but I sort of do want to participate. Anyone want to collab?


Team Riot Uncontrol

“Hey! its the two german tourists again! Me, Paul , and my brother Aaron! Come and say ‘Hi’ Aaron…
He is a bit shy, but at least you got me ! So, last time we had a lot of fun in the ‘Roulette Runners’. It really was a great experience! Until of cause our Van’s chassis collapsed. Again i will be driving our ship and Aaron will be fixing it.
So but now to the car we got :”

“A 1968 HMC Cruiser ! A real street Titanic ! May it not sink. hehe…
However !
We found this purple cruiser on a online board for cars. The precious owner just wrote ‘Needs to go’.
As i first came to the shady neighborhood the buyer told me to come, i was first a bit worried.
But as the person lead me to his backyard and lifted the covers, i was surprised to find such a good condition car.
As i got into the car i was greeted with soft leopard bench seats ! They have weird spots on them and smell weird, but nothing a Tree air fresher can’t fix. Also the look under the hood impressed me, the owner was nice enough to give the engine block a nice wash ! As i wanted to open the boot , the seller was really weird. He didn’t wanted to open it.
But after some talk he did and damn, the boot looks like some pasta sauce exploded in that. Well, Happens.
I said i give him 500 bucks and he said ‘yes’ without skipping a beat. And now we are here !”

“WAIT WAIT WAIT”, Aaron comes into the shot "You got the car from a shady backseller in a bad neighborhood ?! "



“Yeahhhh i lied”

“If you weren’t my brother i would kill you right now”

“Talking about dead things. The smell from the boot is getting worse. So lets start cleaning”

-Get Airfresher
-Get Ducttape
-Get some things to eat


Man, I really hope we get some more participants. Only 3 days left till the start!


Oh I’ll have something ready in about 2 days. Hint: it’s going to be the final installment for a certain vehicle that featured a while back…


#Team ‘Southend Or Bust’
THE BOYS ARE BACK…yeah it ain’t as good as the song is it.

Seb, James and Martin are returning to piss off the competition as much as possible by being the students that they are. Having done pretty well in the previous incarnation of this competition, they’re hoping they can prove that it wasn’t all luck in this round.

The bios are as follows:
[ul]James Hurley - 21 year old actually-named-after-the-Twin-Peaks-character who’s a cooking master and loves BMWs. Shares one too many car memes on Facebook. Turns out he’s quite the, er, ‘exuberant’ driver as proven in the previous rounds.

Seb Anitolo - The long haired Spanish 20 year old who’s much more attractive than his friends would like him to be. Loves his aniseed liquor. Taking Geography at uni, for no real reason, but it helped the team’s navigation last round.

Martin Deenham - Every-worrying 21 year old mechanical wiz who helped to ensure the car finished in just about one piece last time. No-longer secret love of The 1975, still hates camping, was once again designated to choose the car for this round.

So, the whole team is back once more. However, the trusty un-air-conditioned Berlose isn’t going to be. It has gone up to the great scrapheap in the sky, and in its place we have this:
#1994 Erin Merna Lex 1.6
In ‘Sunshine Coast Orange’!

This fairly well kept example of a Mk 5 Merna is to be the chariot of TSOB this round. It’s noticeably smaller than the Berlose (much to the annoyance of Seb), but it’s much more efficient, which should be useful over the long distances that will be covered this round. And, because it weighs in at barely under 1 ton, it should be quite fun to drive too!

The Lex trim was specific choice by Martin (as is everything with him) as it was the cheapest trim that came with fog lights (you know, just in case they need them). The standard 14" wheels have been fitted with off roading tires, just so they are really really prepared, and they’ve even given the car a good clean for old times sake.

In terms of condition, it’s exactly what you’d expect of a car that rolled off of the production line nearly 23 years ago. 180,000 miles on the clock, a slightly musky interior, and the usual scuffs and rattles you’d expect on this sort of a car. Mechanically, however, everything seems to be ok, hence why Martin chose it.

That said, he suspects the slightly rough tick-over to be signs that there is a compression issue in one of the cylinders. Suspension is also a little squeaky on one of the rear trailing arms, which could be the bushing about to give up - he’s not too sure. Also, the windscreen washer has completely packed up.

Still, these are but minor faults in the grand scheme of things, and as they learned on the previous round, a lot can go wrong anyway.

Spotify Mobile ready to go, beer packed and the Merna up and running: Team ‘Southend Or Bust’ ride out into the unknown once more!


Nein, nein, nein, nein, NEIN! my team is the annoying school kids dang it! :stuck_out_tongue:
Going to be fun seeing the differences between your run at things, and mine.


I’m seeing a good chance to incorporate RPs here :wink:


I can tell you now, even though I have my cargo loadout weighted evenly, we will be showing up the first day with every spare inch of the car loaded with beer (or camp the night before as was in the previous VicVictory challenge), Bob and Ryan have an insatiable thirst… Jason does not drink though.


I find it kind of odd too. Last time around I filled 20 spots in 4 or 5 days. I’m mulling the possibility of extending the deadline a bit.


Team Mountain Pass

The Team

Team Mountain Pass has decided to enter the Grand Tour to raise awareness of the event amongst their readers as well as have a great time! The Roulette Runner issue was a record seller so the publishers are hoping to re-create their success.

Pierre Mountbatten, 53 yrs old Aussie journalist, returns as team captain and the place where the buck stops! Having failed to learn his lesson from last time, Pierre has invited his good mate Andrew along to see if they can actually win this time. Pierre is reasonably capable of changing a spare tyre or conducting basic maintenance but he prefers to drive over getting greasy…

Andrew Morgan, 42 yr old Aussie journalist, returns as “first officer” and head of culinary procurement. Andrew doesn’t want to repeat the gastric deficiencies of the last adventure and is writing a spoof cooking show for automotive enthusiasts, which’ll go straight to his Youtube channel. Andrew has acknowledged that he needs to be more tolerant this time so there’ll be NO country music played this time around… Or will there? :wink:. Andrew has installed clutches and suspension before, does his own services but much prefers racing to ratcheting…

Kyle Logan, 38 yr old Aussie photographer; New to the crew is Kyle but he is a veteran of many photo-shoots on articles for Mountain Pass. Kyle has been selected because he’s a decent driver as well as a virtuoso with his SLR. Kyle has provided the opportunity for the Grand Tour by supplying the car and he’s a whiz on the tools, he lived on a farm until he was 21, so he’s not concerned with the long K’s of the competition…

The Car

The car selected for the Grand Tour is a 1996, ex-taxi, Bogliq Ambassador. Kyle bought it for $495 at the auctions while looking for a car to build into a 24hr of Lemons entrant.

The body was tired (-2 body, -2 fixtures), interior was a dual bench seat (worn out and filthy) and the auto transmission was shot so Kyle sourced a number of parts to make the Ambassador useable for competition. This is what was changed to make the Ambassador competitive(ish):

1: Early 80’s Maverick 5spd manual and V-LSD added (+5 Gearbox), sourced from a pick’n’pay
2: Suspension, aero parts, pedal box, clutch master and slave cylinders and rear brakes added from an '89 Ambassador Street Sport, sourced from a pick’n’pay
3: Alloy wheels from a '92 Ambassador Executive, friend had a set lying around
4: Leeroy Racing induction kit, adapted to fit, Leeroy Racing Extractors and baffled mufflers fitted, sourced from a Bogliq swap-meet
5: Radiator, brake ducting installed to optimise engine bay airflow (+2 Aero), sourced from a hardware store
6: 5 seat interior from a '91 Ambassador Executive, old interior too filthy to salvage, sourced from the Bogliq Owners Club official forum!

Kyle had planned to strip out the un-needed interior but has left all the miscellaneous trim intact, and held off with the roll-cage install, so that the car can be used for the Grand Tour…

The 2018 Meatball run - Day 2 4PM-7PM
Go West Deathtrap Tour [FINISHED]
One Last Hurrah [FINAL RESULTS]

Team “Mr Hankey”

Well, Estate Auction, but who cares about details. The Wookiee caught wind of The Kinda Grand Tour, and just happened to be floating around during some guy’s funeral, when he heard that there was a Puttzalong up for grabs. When he got there, he saw the Old man was a collector of useless shtuff! $470 later, he called for a tow truck to haul his new old car away… engineless, I might add.

Bill “80’s” Grey is back. And he’ll be rapt! This car’s got an 8 track player!

Bill “80’s” Grey (40 y.o) has a problem with letting go of the past. He stll listens to mainstream 80’s music and wears flannel shirts. A BIG fan of Monty Python, and anything he can find on VHS tapes. His most prized possession is an original Sony Discman…unless you count his collection of AC/DC cassettes. Somebody sent him an email about this (this time, we know it was The Wookiee), so he took some time off from running his HR agency; he’s seen things like this on TV, and figured it looked entertaining. His wife hopes he makes it back.

Mechanic/2nd Driver:
“Toni” Thompson, can’t figure out how to use a GPS, but that cames from her advanced years (she’s Bill’s aunt). She spent the 90’s in England, associating with a low-tier rally team… and I mean the WHOLE team. Plenty of experience crashing cars… at the demolition derby from '83-'89.

Bill’s GPS… aunt Toni won’t touch the cursed thing, and
“The Wookiee”, Bill’s never actually asked what his name is, but Toni brought him back from New Zealand in 2010. Appears to be late 50’s. He says he likes long drives through isolated forests. :confused: Cooks a mean “rabbit stew, bro”.

The car:
A genuine 1973 Puttzalong Model 60: 35-130 trim. Yes, it’s got a V8… not fitted, but it’s there.
A failed resto-mod back in the 80’s left it a bit stuffed. Some moron painted it by hand…with a brush! And BROWN!!! It’s had the twin-pot front brakes from a Puttzalong GC2500 fitted, and it came without the original engine. But it did come with a large crate labelled “OPTION 109”… apparently these were fitted to 1982 hi-po packs of the GC2500, complete with custom exhaust (+3). The interior had a full retrim (+4) way back when.
The struts have all leaked their shit all over the place (susp -3) and the power steering has a leak somewhere (-1).
The body was relatively rust-free (+2 from factory)


I’m extending the submission deadline to May 8th @4pm PST. I need a little more time to work the course data, plus I’m hoping some more familiar (and maybe new) faces submit.


Great, due to illness I’ve not been able to get my flavour text and introductions and picture quite ready yet. But the extra time will mean I can put it all together properly!


@ramthecowy, still searching for a partner?


Yep. :smile:


Good, so we’re a team now :stuck_out_tongue:


meanwhile… @FrankNSTein seems to have gone missing?


I’m still here :smiley:


no, you’re missing. stay rip.