The Kinda Grand Tour [FINALE]

TEAM OUTRIDERS

Blake: That’s the last thing loaded in, let’s rock.

Marc: Shotgun!

Luigi: Dammit!

Marc: You snooze, you lose. Besides, shouldn’t all Italians sit in the back anyway?

Luigi: Wrong race idiot!

Blake: I should’ve brought a tape recorder.

(With a turn of the key, the Enforcer cranks and immediately roars to life. The engine taking on a more baritone exhaust note this time around.)

Blake: First tunnel we find, we’re putting the windows down and dropping the hammer.

Marc: Our luck this feather-footed bitch will be behind the wheel when that happens.

Luigi: I bet I could drive circles around you!

Marc: You couldn’t even drive circles around a NASCAR circuit!

Blake: Okay, navigator, we’re going to the Coupeville Ferry Terminal, direct us.

Marc: Roger.

Luigi: Let me see that map.

Marc: He said navigator, not bitch. Besides, there’s no big pictures in this map, you’ll just get confused.

Luigi: Bite me.

Marc: Okay, we’re taking I5 to SR20. We’ll be crossing Deception Pass Bridge.

Luigi: Oy ve!

Blake: Is it me or do some of the others seem a tad sluggish?

Marc: Probably hung over, God that takes me back.

Luigi: In my country when you turn 21 you have to serve in the military until age 35. Once you turn 36, you are executed.

Marc: You came from Italy moron! They never had any kind of rule like that!

Luigi: How would you know? You’ve never been there. You wouldn’t last long in Italy.

Marc: Neither would you, that’s why they dumped your ass on our soil! An act of war if you ask me.

Luigi: At least I don’t need a crowbar when I open my wallet! How’s your Roth IRA doing?

Marc: Well, racism aside it’s doing fine, racism intended, suck it!

(ring ring)

Luigi: Hello? Oh, hi Isabella… No, we just got on the road… Everything’s going well… The car handles like a dream… What? (shouts out a string of Italian profanities which I do not know any so I couldn’t provide examples) Possession? Of what? Oh for God’s sake! I thought I taught him better than that! You bet I’m gonna talk to him when we get back, that’s unacceptable! Okay… I’ll talk to you later… I love you too… Bye.

Marc: What was that all about?

Luigi: Antonio got arrested with a bag of heroin!

Marc: Son of a bitch! What was he thinking?

Luigi: Probably nothing at all, I swear he doesn’t bother to think at times.

Marc: I should show him some of our more seedy convicts when we get back. That should help convince him.

Luigi: What gives you the right to counsel my son?

Marc: You did when you made me his Godfather you ass!

Luigi: Oh, right.

Blake: Heroin, that’s horrible.

(The mood in the car was a bit somber while they drove to the bridge)

Marc: Okay you two, hold still.

Luigi: You know your ass is ugly when they’ve got you holding the camera for the group photo.

Marc: Suck my meatballs! (click) Okay, we’re good.

Blake: Let’s go, we gotta catch that ferry, I don’t want to wait 45 minutes for the next one.

(Arrival at the ferry)

Marc: Awesome, we made it.

Luigi: So far, so good.

Blake: Well, looks like the others are feeling a little better from their hangovers.

Luigi: You thinking what I’m thinking?

Marc: Oh hell yeah!

Blake,Marc,Luigi:

What do you do with a drunken sailor
What do you do with a drunken sailor
What do you do with a drunken sailor early in the morning

Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises early in the morning

Blake:

Shave his belly with a rusty razor
Shave his belly with a rusty razor
Shave his belly with a rusty razor early in the morning

Blake,Marc,Luigi:

Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises early in the morning

Marc:

Put him in a longboat til he’s sober
Put him in a longboat til he’s sober
Put him in a longboat til he’s sober early in the morning

Blake,Marc,Luigi:

Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises early in the morning

Luigi:

Stick him in the skupper with a hosepipe on him
Stick him in the skupper with a hosepipe on him
Stick him in the skupper with a hosepipe on him early in the morning

Blake,Marc,Luigi:

Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises early in the morning

Blake:

Put him in a bed with the captain’s daughter
Put him in a bed with the captain’s daughter
Put him in a bed with the captain’s daughter early in the morning!

Blake,Marc,Luigi:

Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises early in the morning

That’s what you do with a drunken sailor
That’s what you do with a drunken sailor
That’s what you do with a drunken sailor early in the morning

Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises early in the morning

Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises early in the morning

Marc: I think that got us some glares.

Luigi: They’re just jealous of our sobriety.

Blake: Looks like one of the team Greasy Lightning guys is coming over.

Fuzz: Was that an actual cop car at some point?

Blake: No, just an administrative vehicle which turned out to have widely understated mileage.

Fuzz: We don’t have any of those in my department, I’m a tad curious how these old things handled.

Blake: From a mechanic standpoint I loved them. Tried and true, and in the long run, very cheap to maintain. Unlike a number of the newer cars out there.

Marc: We retired our last Enforcer from mainline service two months ago. For what they were, they were good. But the platform was showing its age. The biggest kicker was when the Owosso came out with an interceptor package. The Enforcer was updated a year later, but was only barely better. When they went to a turbo AWD Owosso, in 2010, it was over.

Fuzz: I heard those latest Owossos were quick.

Marc: Twin turbo 3.5L V6 AWD. She’ll kick some ass in a pursuit.

Luigi: And kick our ass in maintenance.

Marc: Yeah, upkeep is a bit on the flip side. That’s why we’re switching over to the Blackfoot. Not too much difference performance-wise to the Owosso, and much cheaper to maintain.

Fuzz: Any custom Interceptors in your department?

Marc: We used to use a '94 Montauk Trans Am. That thing was sold at auction five years ago.

Blake: Hello.

Marc: You bought that thing?

Blake: Yup, my latest racing project.

Marc: Why haven’t I seen it then?

Blake: Because it’s like most projects, delayed by time and lack of funds.

Marc: Anyway, after that was retired, we didn’t see much of a need. Especially with how the new Interceptors perform. Even the Seneca SUVs can kick it up. What does your department use?

Fuzz: The latest Ardent Sentinels.

Marc: Good safety record on those Sentinels.

Fuzz: What’s your favorite of the cars you’ve driven?

Marc: Honestly, I’d say the Petoskey Blackfoot. Latest technology while maintaining the traditional RWD V8 configuration. Plus that 301 ScramJet is a beast. That thing will survive anything short of an atomic attack. Even then we’d probably be okay.

Fuzz: I bet you see a fair bit of action.

Marc: Well… (Lifts up his shirt to reveal a purple and yellow splotch on his torso)

Blake: What the hell happened?

Marc: Last weekend, I responded to a call about “suspicious behavior” at 3rd St. and Westlake Blvd.

Blake: Don’t a bunch of skinheads hang out there?

Marc: Why yes, by an amazing coincidence, they do. And it turns out that the only thing they hate more than Jews are cops. Plus, they tend to hang in groups of four or more. So guess how my evening went?

Fuzz: Wow, did you… kill any of them?

Marc: Thankfully no, but they know they’ve been in a fight. That’s for damn sure. Those not in jail are in the hospital waiting to transfer to jail.

Fuzz: I haven’t seen much action, it’s been dull. Writing reports and such.

Marc: (Pulls out a chain around his neck with a bent and distorted Star of David on the end) Son, be careful what you wish for. You’ll find pushing pencils is far more enjoyable than taking a slug.

Fuzz: Yeesh, that looks like it was a close call.

Marc: Half an inch and I wouldn’t be here. If not for this necklace, I’d be dead now.

Fuzz: Wow, I can honestly say I didn’t think that much into it.

Marc: Just remember if you’re doing a drug bust, to duck when breaking down the door.

Fuzz: I will.

Marc: And watch out for Italians, they are never to be trusted.

Luigi: I heard that.

Marc: Don’t worry about this one though, he’s too stupid to be a threat.

Fuzz: You always bicker like this?

Luigi: Usually unless we’re actually mad at each other.

Marc: It is when we’re silent you should be afraid.

Blake: Definitely a ton of fun working with these two, listening to them go back and forth.

Fuzz: Well, I should be getting back.

Marc: Should you ever be by Tatum Heights, look me up, I can arrange for you to take a spin in an Enforcer if you like, we’ve got a few in the Reserves.

Fuzz: Take it easy.

Marc: You too.

Blake: Seems like a nice guy.

Marc: Seems like a headstrong ass. It’s like looking in a mirror. He’s gonna turn out okay.

Luigi: Either I’m getting seasick, or this sentimentality is making me want to puke.

Marc: Oh get over it. Ah! Smell that breeze.

Blake: A pity I don’t have a small fortune to burn, I would like to own a boat.

Marc: And how many “projects” are sitting in your back yard currently?

Blake: Three… including the Enforcer.

Marc: And how many of them are currently pissing off Charlotte?

Blake: All of them.

Marc: Case and point.

Luigi: You gotta put your foot down. Just say “This is how it will be” and leave it at that!

Blake: Hmm, and how many times have you been divorced?

Luigi: (sigh) three.

Blake: Exactly.

(I apologize if this seems excessively long, I got a little carried away.)

5 Likes

It’s all about that role-playing though!

I will hopefully get my response for the day up tomorrow, too tired after today.

1 Like

I suppose it’s a consequence of getting into character of three old men ranting.

1 Like

Legend of Terms:

TBDC: Time Block Distance Covered. This is the amount of mileage covered during the current 2 hour period.
ODC: Overall Distance Covered. This is the total distance that the team has covered since Noon on Friday
MRL: Morale modifier
FTG: Fatigue Level
Notes: Any notes I have for your team during this time block. Including POI results, car issues, etc.

Friday, 2PM - 4PM

Weather Conditions: 65 degrees, partly cloudy.

All vehicles are on US101 South (going West, oddly enough) at this point.

Upcoming POI (optional, let me know if you want to stop at them for rest/sightseeing): Crescent Lake, Forks WA (not that I expect there to be too many Twilight fans here)

VicVictory:
TBDC: 51 mi OD: 137 mi MRL: +2 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed (Fort Worden State Park).

@yurimacs
TBDC: 51 mi OD: 137 mi MRL: +2 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed (Fort Worden State Park). Following slightly behind the Ardent Chancellor seems to be a comfortable pace for this team.

@Fayeding_Spray
TBDC: 52 mi OD: 138 mi MRL: +2 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed (Fort Worden State Park).

@Madrias
TBDC: 54 mi OD: 140 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed (Fort Worden State Park). Team has noticed that braking is a bit squirrely, something that wasn’t noticed before on the primarily Interstate drive during the last section. After getting out of Port Townsend, driver got pretty aggressive and passed several other cars.

@BobLoblaw
TBDC: 52 mi OD: 138 mi MRL: +2 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed (Fort Worden State Park).

@CriticalSet9849
TBDC: 52 mi OD: 138 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +2 Notes: Waypoint completed (Fort Worden State Park). You’re starting to realize just how crappy, loud, and uncomfortable this car is. Grandma’s getting kinda fidgety.

@BailsMackenzie
TBDC: 54 mi OD: 140 mi MRL: +2 FTG: +2 Notes: Waypoint completed (Fort Worden State Park).

@Mikonp7
TBDC: 50 mi OD: 136 mi MRL: +2 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed (Fort Worden State Park).

@TheBobWiley
TBDC: 53 mi OD: 139 mi MRL: +2 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed (Fort Worden State Park).

@DeusExMackia
TBDC: 51 mi OD: 137 mi MRL: +2 FTG: +1 Notes:Waypoint completed (Fort Worden State Park). Traveling in the trailing pack with the Ardent and the Zast.

@HighOctaneLove
TBDC: 54 mi OD: 140 mi MRL: +2 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed (Fort Worden State Park). In the leading pack with the Minerva and IA.

@strop
TBDC: 54 mi OD: 140 mi MRL: +2 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed (Fort Worden State Park). Also in the lead pack.

@stm316
TBDC: 53 mi OD: 139 mi MRL: +2 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed (Fort Worden State Park). Linked up with the Bil for a mini-pack.

@JohnWaldock / @Sillyducky
TBDC: 52 mi OD: 138 mi MRL: +2 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed (Fort Worden State Park).

@abg7
TBDC: 40 mi OD: 146 mi MRL: +2 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed (Fort Worden State Park).

@rileybanks
TBDC: 43 mi OD: 140 mi MRL: +2 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed (Fort Worden State Park). Also in the lead pack.

@koolkei / @FrankNSTein
TBDC: 15 mi OD: 101 mi MRL: -3 FTG: +2 Notes: Waypoint completed (Fort Worden State Park). The Scela wouldn’t start when the ferry was unloading. Had to be pushed off the ferry by workers. Fortunately, there was an auto parts store (O’reilly’s) a few blocks from the terminal. One new battery and negative battery cable later, and the team is back up and running.

@Rk38
TBDC: 51 mi OD: 137 mi MRL: +2 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed (Fort Worden State Park). Part of the trailing pack with the Ardent, Zast, and Erin.

@Nomade0013 / @ramthecowy
TBDC: 50 mi OD: 136 mi MRL: +2 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed (Fort Worden State Park).

@SkylineFTW97
TBDC: 51 mi OD: 137 mi MRL: +2 FTG: +2 Notes: Waypoint completed (Fort Worden State Park).

Team Greasy Lightning

Team/Car info

Rick closed the liftgate of the Chancellor and collected the three bottles of water he had placed on the roof. He looked forward down the entire length of the Salish’s auto deck.

“Hon? Where’d Fuzz go?” he asked.

“Said he wanted to go say hi to another team. The guys in the cop car.”

“Ah. Makes sense.” Rick noticed someone walking towards them with a grin on his face. “Speaking of, looks like we’ve got a visitor.”

“Hey there,” the young competitor chirped. “How’s it going?”

“Good, good.” Rick stepped around the side of his car to meet their visitor. “You’re in the Erin Merna, right?”

“Yeah. New contest, new ride. Stock 1.6 litre 4 banger. A bit of a different look and feel than last time for sure.”

Rick snapped his fingers, putting together where he had last seen this fellow. “That’s right. You were in the Roulette Runner, right? What’s your name, again?”

“James.”

“Rick.” Handshakes were quickly exchanged. “So I read that you guys finished the Roulette Runner. That’s awesome, that thing was tough! What was it like to complete the whole thing?”

A wide grin crept across James’s face. “Amazing. Worth every minute of it. Not to mention that we placed pretty well, which was a nice little bonus.”

Jen chimed in. “Hoping for a repeat this time?”

“Of course. We’re not going to go balls out, at least not yet. We figure if we enjoy the cruise we’ll be rewarded one way or another.”

Jen smirked at Rick. “See? Told you”.

(… To Be Continued by DeusExMackia)

6 Likes

Team Mountain Pass

Friday, day one, 2pm - 4pm

Team Mountain Pass

After disembarking from the ferry we all jumped into the Ambassador and tried to get in front of the pack. Since all but team 1’) disembarked without incident, this was a rather herculean task for the Bogliq to undertake. Within minutes of the ferry we were passed by, much to our surprise, an AussieDM Corolla! Painted in black metallic, the grandma-spec hatch was scarred with flames, pink alloys and one hideous mo-fo of a wing… A number of other cars passed us as well but I was pleased to say that we were able to keep up with the faster cars so far.

Pierre and Andrew spent the time arguing about the merits of turbocharging a Corolla, then they argued incessantly about the ethics of taking your grandma with you on the tour; Pierre was in favour, since he was getting old himself and Andrew was against, since he thought he still had a chance with the ladies! I avoided commenting as I wanted to feel out how the Ambassador was handling, since I’ll be racing it later on in the year, but I kinda agree with Andrew; being stuck with an elderly relative for 1600 miles is going to be rather unpleasent, to say the least…

Distance covered (this session): 51 miles
Distance covered (total): 137 miles
Morale: +2 (+4 total) Car carves up the turns nicely, no-one hates each other… yet
Fatigue: +1 (+1 total) Driving a manual Bogliq Ambassador through the twisties is a lot of work! :grin:

6 Likes

##Team Artiseros
Day 1,Part 2

Disembarking the ferry,the trio was heading on the real part of the challenge.Ernie still doing the driving and the two just snoozing off.They passed by the first waypoint,looking at the cars that passed by them.Lots of cars to look at, one car that looked like a Toyota (Yaris?) with a huge wing,another a red van.

Upon seeing the Ardent,Ernie decided to keep up with it to prove to Aldren that the car was a not snail.


Ernie: See that car up ahead? We are keeping up with it,pretty much proves that this car isnt slow.

Aldren: Probably because it has a small engine.

Ernie: Hearing it has a 6-cylinder Turbo,I suppose its the weight of it that’s slowing it down.

Aldren: Whatever.gets a bottle of beer in the car

Ernie: The car seems to be stopping,lets just be safe and not overuse the engine.Besides,We dont really know our way here.
(car pulls over near the Ardent)

Aldren: Good thing,probably just gonna check the engine if it is just fine.

Ateri:(finally waking up,being sober) youu… said… about checking… the … engine…

Aldren: Ahhh,finally you are awake.

(right door opens)

Aldren: Ernie,open the hood.

Ernie: Ok.

(hood opens)

Aldren: Geez,the engine bay is full of rust.Not much difference from the last inspection

Ateri: The whole time the car was tilting a bit much because of that suspension.

Aldren: Ateri hand me over the toolkit,i will do a bit of inspection and maintenance if i have to.

Ateri: Ok


Distance Covered: 51 miles Total Distance Covered: 137 Morale:+2 (Ernie being happy it isnt the slowest car and more snacking) Fatigue:+1(just a little inspection just in case) [ Team & Car info](http://discourse.automationgame.com/t/the-kinda-grand-tour-friday-noon-2p/20895/10?u=yurimacs)

Previous Part

5 Likes

Team Twin-Snail

Day 1, Stage 1


While they were still on the ferry, Luke rummaged through his bag of things in the trunk, looking for his OBD-II adapter cable. Unable to find it among his supplies, he slammed the trunk lid shut and got back in the car, then flipped through their collection of music, trying to decide whether it was a rock or metal kind of time.

Amy, Scott, and Linda returned to the car with minutes to spare before unloading, getting settled and helping Luke decide on the music. Looks like it’ll be Garth Brooks instead.


2 PM, Friday.

Once they got off the boat, it was obvious that Luke wanted to get away from the water. Even before the Midnight’s CD player had finished swallowing the disc, Luke stomped on the gas, causing the car to hesitate slightly, then suddenly roar and spin the driver’s side tire as the engine bounced off the rev limiter three times. Mercifully, the automatic started upshifting, and the lack of gearing advantage kept it from doing any further damage to the tires as team Twin Snail hurtled onto the highway.

A nice section of winding road showed another few of the Minerva’s mild faults, as the aged tires and worn brakes worked together with the natural lift-off oversteer caused by their semi-trailing arm rear suspension to make the car a little squirmy under braking. Luke seemed to have it under control, but Scott had something to say about it.

“Luke, the wiggling around back here’s making me seasick.”

“Scott, that’s probably because you had a beer while on the boat.” Amy replied. “Though I’ll admit, that feels odd from this car. Still, the solution remains available at any time, swing by an auto parts store and get brake pads and maybe some new tires. After all, we’re going to need to stop to mess with the intake system on the car.”

“Not yet. Rather have something interesting for you three to do while I fix the car. Nothing interesting yet.” Luke said.

“Yeah. Even I don’t like Twilight that much.” Linda commented as they made it out of the twisties.

As Luke saw several cars up ahead, the urge to go fast overwhelmed the desire to keep the car in one piece, and he buried his foot to the firewall. A brief hiccup was followed by a muted, snarling roar from the 3.6 liter, 200-ish horsepower V6 under the hood. Having driven through Chicago his whole life, Luke was an expert at fitting a large amount of car into spaces it shouldn’t fit, and he took every opportunity to weave through traffic, the engine snarling as Luke prodded it onward.

“Jesus Christ, Luke! You just about cut the nose off of that Ardent. And the Erin. And the Zast. Holy shit, you’re not gonna try to pass the big Bushell wagon on the shoulder, are you? Oh, fuck, Luke, get off the gas, that team’s nothing but cops!” Amy yelled as Luke pelted the car through traffic, his foot flat to the floor, the engine screaming as the transmission held onto fourth gear.

Luke lifted and the mighty V6 burbled and rumbled as the transmission finally settled into 5th gear overdrive, having made quite a bit of ground on some of the competition. He gave the truck horns a light blast, then passed another car on the way to Fort Worden State Park.

At 4 PM, team Twin-Snail evaluated where they were at and figured they’d managed 54 miles in the past two hours, making for 140 miles total.


Aftermath

Car: Still seems okay enough. Needs the brakes and tires checked along with the air-system maintenance. Waiting for a decently-interesting POI to do that.

Team:
-Luke: Feeling Bold and confident in the Minerva
-Amy: Wishing Luke would drive normally and not like he had a death wish.
-Scott: “I think I’m gonna puke.” Didn’t like Luke’s aggressive driving.
-Linda: “That’s my kinda driving! More!” Wants to go faster. Thinks they could outrun the cops, if they had to.

MRL +3 overall
FTG +1 overall
“The road is long and winding, and our journey’s just begun. Problems we are finding, but that’s just half the fun.”

6 Likes

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Team: Clutch Droppers

Day 1: 12-2pm

After the driver meeting concluded it was time to say goodbye to Ryan’s jeep for a few days. After locking it and ensuring it had a legible note for the park rangers on the inside of the windshield we strode over to our 90’s abomination and fired it up for the start of the event. One final check of our items and the car and we were off to the start line. To get us in the mood I popped the aux cable into my phone and loaded up one of my most played albums:

As the flag dropped I hammered the gas pedal, after a gloriously long burnout the car finally found traction in 2nd gear, shooting out of the park entrance and onto the main road, we were off!

Cruising down I5 towards Deception Pass Bridge and the Coupeville ferry terminal we DEFINITELY maintained the speed limit, like totes, for sure. It was a nice day for driving, 63 degrees and partly cloudy, allowing us to cruise along with the windows down and music blaring. Jason was in the back seat playing on his 3DS, it was either a Final Fantasy or other RPG/tactics game. Ryan was writing down some coding notes in the passenger seat and tapping along to the music.

Ryan: O YES! Don’t Stop Me Now!!!

All: I’M A SHOOTING STAR LEAPING THROUGH THE SKY
LIKE A TIGER DEFYING THE LAWS OF GRAVITYYYYYYYY
I’M A RACING CAR PASSING BY LIKE LADY GODIVA
I’M GOING TO GO GO GO
THERE’S NO STOPPPING ME!!!

i’M BURNING THROUGH THE SKY, YEAH
TWO HUNDRED DEEGRESS, THAT’S WHY THEY CALL ME MISTER FAHRENHEIT
I’M TRAVELING AT THE SPEED OF LIGHTTTTTTTT
I WANT TO MAKE A SUPERSONIC MAN OUT OF YOU!!!

Once the song had faded away I glanced at the speedometer and realized we MAY have gone a tad over the speed limit so I let off the gas a bit, besides we were getting close to the bridge by now.

Pulling off to the side just before the bridge we got out quickly to take a picture and stretch a bit.

Whipping out his phone Ryan walks over to the side a bit to get a nice shot of the bridge.

Bob: Alright let’s hurry up, we are burning time here! Pile back in so we can make the first ferry!

A little while later we had exhausted our Queen music, but had also reached the ferry. We were a bit disappointed to see we were not the first ones there, but still pretty early considering how many cars had set off this morning and how many were at the ferry already. While we waited for the other cars to show up Ryan and I took some photos of the beautiful scenery and chatted with the other teams as they arrived. Jason stayed in the car charging and playing his 3DS. Thank god we had remembered to bring not only some AC adapters for the car, but also our own personal battery banks.

Ryan: Hey, either of you want some jerky? 'cause it’s jerky time!

Jason and Bob: Ew, no.

Bob: I do have a little bacon based jerky though, and it’s actually good!

Jason: cracks open a Mountain Dew This is all I need to survive…

Bob: Don’t go wasting all of the supplies already guys, we have a long drive ahead of us and I don’t want to waste time stopping for food and drinks. I only want to stop when we absolutely have to… I would tell you to pee in a cup, but that is a bit extreme honestly.

Ryan: I just realized… why were we so determined to get to the ferry “first”? Now we are near the front of the boat and when we get to the other side… we are almost last getting off. That will surely hurt us as there may be a few faster cars near the back of the ferry that just did not drive as hard down here…

Bob: Ummmmmm… you may have a point. I guess I will just have to be aggressive getting off the ferry. Would it be frowned upon to simply push the other cars out of the way?

Jason: I think that cop guy would do you in if you tried it.

Bob: Right…


Day 1: 2-4pm

After the ferry finally docked and the cars started to roll off we gave the map a once over and started the car up. Surprisingly it sprung right to life and felt ready to tackle the next section of road. After all the slow poke cars near the rear of the ferry had finally cleared away I put my foot down, a bit less vigorously than earlier, and immediately shot ahead a few of the slower cars still struggling to get up to speed outside of the ferry port.

Bob: looks like we have another POI coming up, do you guys want to get out for a quick break?

Ryan: Nah, we just had a break on the ferry, let’s see how much distance we can put between us and everyone behind us.

Jason: Totally engrossed in his game

Bob: Pops in the trusty aux cable and loads up some Hamilton (the music is so damn good!)

Jason: What, this again?? Every time we are in the car you play this, give it a rest just this once.

Ryan: Yeah, let’s get some more rock!

Bob: Fine, fine… Styx good?

Jason and Ryan: Yeah

As the sweet melodies of Styx reverberated within the car and surrounding countryside we pounded away at the miles in relative comfort. Passing Forks we couldn’t help but make jokes about the movies. Jason and I had actually enjoyed the first book quite a lot (still can’t tell you why I liked it as much as I did), but the movies were just garbage.


Morale: +4 (Things are going good and we are near the front of the pack)
Fatigue: +1 (The driver’s seat is in terrible shape and it’s starting to wear on me a bit)

6 Likes

OT: Is it intentional that ODC isn’t the sum of TBDC’s for some teams?

1 Like

tell it’s not just me that can’t read it normally, and instead sung the song…

4 Likes

Team BAGS

Brian: So far so good; there’s another point of interest coming up…

Gary: Should we stop there?

Amy: If we do, we could use the time lost to take a breather.

Stephanie: But I don’t think it will be necessary to do so yet. Our fatigue is not severe enough at such an early stage in this trip.

Brian: So we should just keep driving, then? All in favor say “Aye”.

("The other three team members all say “Aye” at once with minimal hesitation.)

Brian: OK then, we won’t stop at Crescent Lake; we’ll just drive past it instead. If anyone or the car has a problem, please let me know.

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team 1’); drop table participants; – (aka Team Bobby Tables)


Friday, 2pm-4pm

As the ferry approached the docks at Port Townsend, Da Wei and Frank headed down to their car. Some teams were busy planning the next section or adjusting stuff, others were still on their way down from the passenger deck. Some loud country music was heard from team Twin-Snails’ car.

Frank: Wanna drive? Takes the car keys out of his pocket
Da Wei: Take it easy, we’re on the end of the ferry. we’ll be launching last anyway. but it’s a bit cold though, i’ll turn the car on and get the heater on

*grab the key
*put into ignition
*start the engine
*engine turned on but dies again

Da Wei : huh, battery must be low

*tries to start the engine again
*nothing

Da Wei : uh…. shit…… the indicator lights on the dash goes kaputt when i try to start it. frank, can you get the voltmeter from the trunk? it’s in the brown leather bag. it’s where most of our tools are in.

Frank gets out of the car and looks for the bag with the voltmeter in the trunk.

Frank: Found it. Can you open the hood?

*pulls hood lever

Da Wei : there you go.

Frank turns on the voltmeter and attaches it to the two battery terminals. The voltmeter shows 7.3V

Frank: Shit. That thing’s gone.

Da Wei : 7. how the hell does a battery goes as low as 7v…… never seen that before. also, how did the car even run on that battery…. amazing that nothing was broken because of that. but you know what? i left behind your 6 bags of marshmellow behind and put in a battery jumper on the back. hehehe. i’ll go and get it.

They attached the jump starter and tried again to start the car. It started, but as soon as the jumper was removed it began to stutter and turned off again.

Da Wei : Right then…… i knew this car were a bit too clean for it’s price. but i didn’t expect it to show up at the start of the event. now what? the ferry’s already empty, and the workers are just waiting for us.

Two dock workers had seen what happened to us and offered us to push the car off the ferry. They also told us there was an auto parts store down the road.
As soon as the car was parked at the docks, we headed for said parts store. We arrived there, exhausted from running half a mile.

Frank: There it is. I hope they have a spare battery.

Da Wei : they better do. we’re already so far behind. and grab 2 while we’re at it. i did not know how that battery got to 7v. and i’m afraid it might do that again.

Frank: Good. Let’s get two of them.

$180 spent on two batteries, they arrived back at the car. Da Wei installs the battery in the car, but it still won’t start.

Da Wei : the F*ck’s wrong this time? oh wait

noticed a burnt part of the negative cable

Da Wei : oh well damn. now that i noticed it. this wire is too freaking thin, and i think we somehow burnt it when using the jumper.

Frank: Shit. Did we take some spare wire with us?

Da Wei : not proper ones. i brought some wires, but none is thick enough for this. you rest, i’ll go back to the store. you still need to drive after all this. okay?

goes back to the store to get some thick ground wire. and then, another 20 minutes later

Da Wei : huff huff here you go huff huff, you can install it right? huff just 2 screws. huff i gotta catch my breath

Frank: Ok. Get on the passenger seat and have some rest.

Frank replaces the old, burnt wire with the new one, then gets in the car and tries to start. The car started and kept running. Both Frank and Da Wei felt relieved.
Frank threw the burnt wire in a waste bin, asked the workers around who had helped them to dispose the battery and gave them a tip of $10.

Da Wei : right. we got some catching up to do. time to use all of whatever’s left of that 216HP that existed in 1985

With Frank on the driver’s seat, the team headed for the road, really pushing the old Scela trying to catch up to the other teams.


Morale: -3 (-1 total)
Fatigue: +2 (+2 total)

7 Likes

2-4PM
Wookiee: Hey, Bill. You’ll love this first POI. They made those movies here, you know, tho ones you took your wife to.
Bill: That narrows it down.
Wookiee: With the whole sparkly monster thing.
Bill: What are you on about? Oh, wait… the gay porn thing?
Wookiee: So you did watch them!
Toni: Boys! It’s a bit early to start on each other.
Wookiee: No fun.
Bill: Fine. (pulls out map). We’ve got, what 50 miles to the next stop, how are we going to not be bored senseless?
Toni: Pull out the camera. See if you can get a snap of this… car we’re coming up on. We’ll run with them for a while.
(Wookiee pulls out the camera, and Bill grabs his audio player/speaker.)

6 Likes

#Team ‘Southend or Bust’
Original Post - Previous Post

…Continuing from VicVictory here,
James chuckled. “So then” he asked, “why something so old for such a long drive?”
“We wanted something with a little character” answered Rick, looking proudly at the car. “Chancellors are kind of rare, especially the GL trim. Plus, how often do you see something with a red leather interior?”
“Fair points, and it is a very nice red isn’t it?” admired James, inspecting the interior through the windows. “There must be something a bit iffy about it though”.
Jen and Rick smiled. “Well, it’s an old car, everything is bound to go wrong on it at some point” said Jen in a bright tone.

“What about the engine then? I’m sure if Martin was here he’d be able to list all the major problems these cars had with their engines” said James.
“Actually it’s been reworked and fixed up quite nicely” Rick began. “New head gasket, new timing chain kit, new manifold gaskets, and the throttle body was thoroughly cleaned. The turbo was checked for excessive play, and got new gaskets as well.”
James nodded in appreciation.
“Did we forget to mention it’s the same engine that was in our Suzume last time around?”
“No? Seriously? Reusing old parts?” said James.
“Yeah, no point putting a unit like that to waste”
“Can’t argue with that” returned James. “And to drive? Is it good?”
“It’s actually not that bad. The turbo helps it move along once it kicks in, but unlike the original V8, it doesn’t cause the back end to break loose in holy hell off the line” said Rick as though he were giving a detailed lecture. “And this thing is cushy as hell. Fuzz hasn’t complained once about the back seat.”
Fuzz shouted something in agreement.

James chuckled. “Damn, well I certainly wouldn’t have as much confidence as you to bring something this old along.”
“I guess that’s the spirit of the challenge” Jen added. “And we couldn’t just quit after last time. We felt there was unfinished business. That, and it was an excuse to go see some fantastic scenery while doing something a little nuts”
“Isn’t it gorgeous around here, eh?” replied James. “Well, I better get back. Nice talking to you though, best of luck”.

.

“So they were nice people then?” asked Martin.
“Yeah, great people. Lovely car too” replied James, scanning the map. “I really cannot wait to see the Pacific properly”
“Me neither” said Seb, mockingly. James knew excatly what was coming next. “Because we’re in the Pacific North West, where a certain TV show was set, wasn’t it Martin?”
“Yeah” Martin joined in. James sighed. “I think it was called…”
Seb cracked a smile. James grimaced.
“…Twilight?”
Seb paused. He thought Martin had been going along with the joke. “No Martin, it’s Twin Peaks, remember? 'Cos James is named after”
“YES SEB, we ALL know who I’m named after” James butted in.
“But seriously Seb, Twilight was set in these parts” replied Martin, feeling genuinely confused.
“Have you actually watched Twilight?” asked Seb.
Silence fell in the car.

“Well, I think we should put some music on” James burst out, scrambling for the aux cable and his phone. Moments later, Dance Hall Days came on over the old speakers.
“Ohh, now this is a proper driving song!” said Martin, reaching for his shades.


“Ayy! Join the club!” said James, whacking out his beloved pair.
“Oh come on guys, mine are in the boot” said Seb, frustrated.
“Too bad, mate” said Martin, looking ahead and smiling.
“Wohh!” Seb shouted suddenly as the Minerva tore past.
“Fucking christ balls” shouted Martin, blaring the Merna’s little horn. “What are Twin Snail doing?”
“I’m telling you, Americans can’t drive” said Seb.
“I’m beginning to agree with you” replied Martin.

Thankfully, the rest of the journey was a breeze, and soon enough, they were on the outskirts of the Pacific coastline.

7 Likes

Team Bamford

Day 1 Part 2
Jason Clark sat in the rear of the Advance as they bounced off the ferry and onto the dock with Ken still driving.
“Did you see that Corolla that the Gryphon team was running?” said Phil, excitedly “What a unit!”

“Everyone was going on about that thing” muttered Ken “Is that what you kids like, small hatchbacks with lots of speed?”
“Are you trying to get some market demographics for the next car pop?” asked Jason
“I might be”
“Well, pardon me for saying Ken, but if you want to corner the kids market, then you’ll need a cheap car that’s fun to drive, like your old sports cars from the 80’s”

Ken turned his head for a moment, here was Phil, the biggest idiot in the world, offering sound advice…

“We want a car that has loads of character, a story to tell and an adventure that’s only a moment away”

The car remained silent for a few moments

“We’re on that adventure right now” replied Ken “Now, who wants to listen to a CD?”

8 Likes

If it is, it was a typo. The spreadsheet is keeping accurate tally, so at some point my dumb ass will correct it. :slight_smile:

2 Likes

Team Greasy Lightning (2p-4p Drive Portion)

Rick’s mouth was agape as the Ardent pulled off the ferry and onto the dock. They had just passed the Sclea, seemingly dead on the deck of the M/V Salish, two WSF deck hands slowly pushing it off the vessel.

Fuzz broke the near deathly silence. “Hey, at least we weren’t the first ones to break down this time, right?”

“Yeah,” Jen murmured. “Great news.”

“Hope it’s nothing major,” Fuzz continues. “We all know what a huge bummer it is to get knocked out early.”

Their 2 mile, 6 minute drive to Fort Worden proceeded without another word. The mood changed sharply as they pulled in to the parking lot of the State Park, and they scrambled out to take a picture. The old Endicott-era coastal fort was an impressive sight of military engineering, despite its armaments being long gone.

After a couple minutes they piled back in the Chancellor and continued on US Highway 101. The factory radio started to crackle and pop as they started to move out of range of the Seattle-based FM radio stations. Jen pulled out a small bluetooth speaker, plugged it into the 12V charger, and fired up the music app on her phone.

“I’ve got a little something to start us off here.”

Hardwell - Smoke

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Fuzz groaned. “OK, fine, but I get a turn with the speaker later.”

“No way, it’s mine!” Jen protested.

Rick laughed. “You brought this on yourself, hon. We’ll all take turns. New rule. Whoever is riding shotgun gets to play with the toy. And since we’re all taking turns here…”

Jen let out a halfhearted sigh and dramatic pout. “Fine.”

6 Likes

OOC: Song choice very much approved by me!

1 Like

#Team Flaming Fart Cannon
The moment the gate of the ferry went down, Kai was hard on the gas, slamming the front bumper into the ramp with an bone-jarring crunch before bouncing up the road and blazing towards the highway. Well, not exactly blazing, with 150bhp, but with a power:weight ratio of under 8kg per horse, compared to the rest of the competition it was pretty fast.

“BRÖM BRÖM” Kai shouted, hunched over the wheel like an Italian madman who was really a bull who had just spotted a red cloth. Mercifully, the car wasn’t capable of the kind of gut wrenching straight-off-the-road-and-into-a-pole maneuver commonly found among actual Gryphon Gear models, but Strop found himself mentally counting down the jolts until the shocks packed it in completely. On the other hand he was for once pleased to be seeing this car driven as aggressively as it looked, because then they didn’t look like just half-baked tools, they were going full douche. Oh man.

Time to take their minds of that, and time to completely ruin the idyllic country view. Strop poked his head out the window, at the nearby baby-blue Ambassador just behind. “HEEEEY YOU WANNA HEAR SOME GOOD OL’ ROCK AND ROLL???” He then cranked up Kai’s UE Boom to the max in windows doooooooown mode:

Inside, Strop paled. "Fuck, was that the writer from Mountain Pass I just trolled? The brostep effect was immediate, Kai dropped a gear and gave it a bit more gas, the turbo drawing an extra rasping exhaust note, blitzing past the traffic with blithe disregard for the actual speed limit.

“Hey, is this one of the states where the speed limit’s really strict?” Strop asked.

“Do you even know where we are?” Kai asked back.

“Er. Not really.”

Soon the slower cars were a mere speck in the mirrors. But one of them didn’t: the big hulking Minerva with an engine undoubtedly twice the size of theirs. If anything it was getting larger and larger until, with its greater speed, it passed with a sonorous blast of a tritone truck horn.

“Oh, it’s on”, Kai snarled, frisking his fresh can of air-horn whoopass.


MRL +4 overall
FTG +1 overall

8 Likes

>is Danish
>uses Ö
TRIGGERED
I think you meant brøm brøm as he’s Danish, not Swedish, Finnish or German :wink:

3 Likes