The Kinda Grand Tour [FINALE]

#Team ‘Southend Or Bust’
THE BOYS ARE BACK…yeah it ain’t as good as the song is it.

Seb, James and Martin are returning to piss off the competition as much as possible by being the students that they are. Having done pretty well in the previous incarnation of this competition, they’re hoping they can prove that it wasn’t all luck in this round.

The bios are as follows:
[ul]James Hurley - 21 year old actually-named-after-the-Twin-Peaks-character who’s a cooking master and loves BMWs. Shares one too many car memes on Facebook. Turns out he’s quite the, er, ‘exuberant’ driver as proven in the previous rounds.

Seb Anitolo - The long haired Spanish 20 year old who’s much more attractive than his friends would like him to be. Loves his aniseed liquor. Taking Geography at uni, for no real reason, but it helped the team’s navigation last round.

Martin Deenham - Every-worrying 21 year old mechanical wiz who helped to ensure the car finished in just about one piece last time. No-longer secret love of The 1975, still hates camping, was once again designated to choose the car for this round.
[/ul]

So, the whole team is back once more. However, the trusty un-air-conditioned Berlose isn’t going to be. It has gone up to the great scrapheap in the sky, and in its place we have this:
#1994 Erin Merna Lex 1.6
In ‘Sunshine Coast Orange’!

This fairly well kept example of a Mk 5 Merna is to be the chariot of TSOB this round. It’s noticeably smaller than the Berlose (much to the annoyance of Seb), but it’s much more efficient, which should be useful over the long distances that will be covered this round. And, because it weighs in at barely under 1 ton, it should be quite fun to drive too!

The Lex trim was specific choice by Martin (as is everything with him) as it was the cheapest trim that came with fog lights (you know, just in case they need them). The standard 14" wheels have been fitted with off roading tires, just so they are really really prepared, and they’ve even given the car a good clean for old times sake.

In terms of condition, it’s exactly what you’d expect of a car that rolled off of the production line nearly 23 years ago. 180,000 miles on the clock, a slightly musky interior, and the usual scuffs and rattles you’d expect on this sort of a car. Mechanically, however, everything seems to be ok, hence why Martin chose it.

That said, he suspects the slightly rough tick-over to be signs that there is a compression issue in one of the cylinders. Suspension is also a little squeaky on one of the rear trailing arms, which could be the bushing about to give up - he’s not too sure. Also, the windscreen washer has completely packed up.

Still, these are but minor faults in the grand scheme of things, and as they learned on the previous round, a lot can go wrong anyway.

Spotify Mobile ready to go, beer packed and the Merna up and running: Team ‘Southend Or Bust’ ride out into the unknown once more!

10 Likes

Nein, nein, nein, nein, NEIN! my team is the annoying school kids dang it! :stuck_out_tongue:
Going to be fun seeing the differences between your run at things, and mine.

1 Like

I’m seeing a good chance to incorporate RPs here :wink:

I can tell you now, even though I have my cargo loadout weighted evenly, we will be showing up the first day with every spare inch of the car loaded with beer (or camp the night before as was in the previous VicVictory challenge), Bob and Ryan have an insatiable thirst… Jason does not drink though.

1 Like

I find it kind of odd too. Last time around I filled 20 spots in 4 or 5 days. I’m mulling the possibility of extending the deadline a bit.

Team Mountain Pass

The Team

Team Mountain Pass has decided to enter the Grand Tour to raise awareness of the event amongst their readers as well as have a great time! The Roulette Runner issue was a record seller so the publishers are hoping to re-create their success.

Pierre Mountbatten, 53 yrs old Aussie journalist, returns as team captain and the place where the buck stops! Having failed to learn his lesson from last time, Pierre has invited his good mate Andrew along to see if they can actually win this time. Pierre is reasonably capable of changing a spare tyre or conducting basic maintenance but he prefers to drive over getting greasy…

Andrew Morgan, 42 yr old Aussie journalist, returns as “first officer” and head of culinary procurement. Andrew doesn’t want to repeat the gastric deficiencies of the last adventure and is writing a spoof cooking show for automotive enthusiasts, which’ll go straight to his Youtube channel. Andrew has acknowledged that he needs to be more tolerant this time so there’ll be NO country music played this time around… Or will there? :wink:. Andrew has installed clutches and suspension before, does his own services but much prefers racing to ratcheting…

Kyle Logan, 38 yr old Aussie photographer; New to the crew is Kyle but he is a veteran of many photo-shoots on articles for Mountain Pass. Kyle has been selected because he’s a decent driver as well as a virtuoso with his SLR. Kyle has provided the opportunity for the Grand Tour by supplying the car and he’s a whiz on the tools, he lived on a farm until he was 21, so he’s not concerned with the long K’s of the competition…

The Car

The car selected for the Grand Tour is a 1996, ex-taxi, Bogliq Ambassador. Kyle bought it for $495 at the auctions while looking for a car to build into a 24hr of Lemons entrant.

The body was tired (-2 body, -2 fixtures), interior was a dual bench seat (worn out and filthy) and the auto transmission was shot so Kyle sourced a number of parts to make the Ambassador useable for competition. This is what was changed to make the Ambassador competitive(ish):

1: Early 80’s Maverick 5spd manual and V-LSD added (+5 Gearbox), sourced from a pick’n’pay
2: Suspension, aero parts, pedal box, clutch master and slave cylinders and rear brakes added from an '89 Ambassador Street Sport, sourced from a pick’n’pay
3: Alloy wheels from a '92 Ambassador Executive, friend had a set lying around
4: Leeroy Racing induction kit, adapted to fit, Leeroy Racing Extractors and baffled mufflers fitted, sourced from a Bogliq swap-meet
5: Radiator, brake ducting installed to optimise engine bay airflow (+2 Aero), sourced from a hardware store
6: 5 seat interior from a '91 Ambassador Executive, old interior too filthy to salvage, sourced from the Bogliq Owners Club official forum!

Kyle had planned to strip out the un-needed interior but has left all the miscellaneous trim intact, and held off with the roll-cage install, so that the car can be used for the Grand Tour…

10 Likes

Team “Mr Hankey”
BARN FIND! BARN FIND! BARN FIND!

Well, Estate Auction, but who cares about details. The Wookiee caught wind of The Kinda Grand Tour, and just happened to be floating around during some guy’s funeral, when he heard that there was a Puttzalong up for grabs. When he got there, he saw the Old man was a collector of useless shtuff! $470 later, he called for a tow truck to haul his new old car away… engineless, I might add.

Bill “80’s” Grey is back. And he’ll be rapt! This car’s got an 8 track player!

Bill “80’s” Grey (40 y.o) has a problem with letting go of the past. He stll listens to mainstream 80’s music and wears flannel shirts. A BIG fan of Monty Python, and anything he can find on VHS tapes. His most prized possession is an original Sony Discman…unless you count his collection of AC/DC cassettes. Somebody sent him an email about this (this time, we know it was The Wookiee), so he took some time off from running his HR agency; he’s seen things like this on TV, and figured it looked entertaining. His wife hopes he makes it back.

Mechanic/2nd Driver:
“Toni” Thompson, can’t figure out how to use a GPS, but that cames from her advanced years (she’s Bill’s aunt). She spent the 90’s in England, associating with a low-tier rally team… and I mean the WHOLE team. Plenty of experience crashing cars… at the demolition derby from '83-'89.

Navigator:
Bill’s GPS… aunt Toni won’t touch the cursed thing, and
“The Wookiee”, Bill’s never actually asked what his name is, but Toni brought him back from New Zealand in 2010. Appears to be late 50’s. He says he likes long drives through isolated forests. :confused: Cooks a mean “rabbit stew, bro”.

The car:
A genuine 1973 Puttzalong Model 60: 35-130 trim. Yes, it’s got a V8… not fitted, but it’s there.
A failed resto-mod back in the 80’s left it a bit stuffed. Some moron painted it by hand…with a brush! And BROWN!!! It’s had the twin-pot front brakes from a Puttzalong GC2500 fitted, and it came without the original engine. But it did come with a large crate labelled “OPTION 109”… apparently these were fitted to 1982 hi-po packs of the GC2500, complete with custom exhaust (+3). The interior had a full retrim (+4) way back when.
The struts have all leaked their shit all over the place (susp -3) and the power steering has a leak somewhere (-1).
The body was relatively rust-free (+2 from factory)

10 Likes

I’m extending the submission deadline to May 8th @4pm PST. I need a little more time to work the course data, plus I’m hoping some more familiar (and maybe new) faces submit.

7 Likes

Great, due to illness I’ve not been able to get my flavour text and introductions and picture quite ready yet. But the extra time will mean I can put it all together properly!

4 Likes

@ramthecowy, still searching for a partner?

Yep. :smile:

Good, so we’re a team now :stuck_out_tongue:

6 Likes

meanwhile… @FrankNSTein seems to have gone missing?

I’m still here :smiley:

no, you’re missing. stay rip.

team 1'); drop table participants; --

(@koolkei and @FrankNSTein)

Frank, age 20, Austrian
computer nerd, network security student
has theoretical knowledge about how cars work but barely anything practical
somewhat sceptical in modern technology
generally good driver, sometimes a bit overconfident
knows how to use google maps
can get along with almost any style of music, but prefers no music while driving

Hwang Da Wei, age 22, Singaporean
also a computer nerd, spends his days of work around rack and racks of server computers
likes to work with both 2 wheeled and 4 wheeled vehicles. not an impressive mechanic, but is super witty when it comes to fixing stuff. although sometimes doing it too brazen and ended up making things worse.
is quite a meticolous guy planning and the over-preparing type.
LOVES punk, rock and basically loud music. and seems to always listening to something whatever he’s doing.


we both met up at a gadget and tech expo a few years back. when we were looking at the same newfangled FANCEH STUFF and found ourselves to connect instantly at everything, well except about our music taste.

Da Wei : hey Frank. i found this cheap rally event you MAY want to check out
Frank : sounds interesting, what is it about?
Da Wei : you deft? i said it’s a rally event. Basically, we get a cheap shitbox. Get it fixed, or at least running enough and “race” them through a set route against other teams.
Frank : Oh, so it’s similar to that ‘Roulette Runner’ thing I’ve heard of a few months ago?
Da Wei : yeah. They’re doing a different theme, but the route, or at least the start point is much closer to us this time. Think you may wanna join??
Frank : Well, you got me. Let’s look for a suitable car then. Got anything in mind?
Da Wei : nope. It’s got a suggested a budget limit of $500 though. Although for the car only. Not for repairs and the spare parts we might have to carry, and the food for us both so i’ll make the budgeting and you go on the net. Sounds like a plan?
Frank : Sounds like a plan. I’d try to find some 80s or 90s sedan in good condition. Opens his laptop.


(20 minutes later)

Frank : I’ve found a few cars now. First is an ‘87 Frankenstein Traveler for $400. It’s got the more powerful 1.6L engine doing 95 horsepower, but it’s quite small for fitting all our luggage.
Second, a 1982 Roviro Clarion. Even more basic of a car, some more luggage space, but 66hp will barely be enough for highway driving I think.

Da Wei : okay stop right there. 1980s. 66hp. No even with 95hp. all the stuff we need to haul.
Plus the power loss from age. I don’t think either one of those could drive on the highway with “confidence”. Also i finished the rough draft of our budgeting here. ]
If we both pitch in $500 each, we should be able to afford up to the full $500 car price limit. Even after the fixing shit that has to be done. Anyway, find something with a bit more grunt.

Frank : Well, there’s this other one I stumbled upon. A guy wants $650 for his Scela Moto that sat for a few years. 213hp Inline-6. And it even comes from your home country.

Da Wei : why then. Send him a lowball-ish offer. Like $370. Give him excuses why he should drop the price down. Just softly “pressure” him. You can do that, right?

Frank : I’ll try at least. Would be a cool car to show up at the event. And I love the sound of high-revving inline-6s.


(Two phone calls later)

Frank : Got him down to an offer of exactly $500. We’ll show up there tomorrow to inspect the car. I also got my mate Daniel, who’s a mechanic, informed about this. He might do some overtime hours this weekend for us.

Da Wei : let’s just hope you picked right and we can actually drive that thing to the shop, and not pay extra for towing. That’d be an ugly start for us. Right, i’m registering us into the competition first


The Car

That Scela Moto is - quite literally - a barn find. It wasn’t on the road for several years, thankfully the previous owner left it in an old barn where it wasn’t exposed to the elements. Rust isn’t a big problem due to the good rust protection that Scela were using back in the 80s. It seems to have once had an accident, some damage has been fixed. The overall condition of the car is quite good, considering the price we got it for.

Once we had the brakes restored to usable condition, vacuumed the interior, replaced the dead alternator and got the fluids swapped out it actually ran pretty well. It also got new tires, as the previous ones were 9 years old and not in too good of a condition.

Known Problems :
I think it got into some incident where the left of the car was damaged pretty noticeably so. Rear left Suspension arm is slightly bent, was hammered as straight as much as hammer could make it straight.
Brakes made awful noise and weren’t too effective. Fixed by taking them apart and properly cleaning them.
The alternator was dead. We had to replace that one.
AC only has 3 modes. Off, on(cold), on (hot). The controls are broken. Either freezing, or sweating. Pick one.
Temp gauge is broken. I hope the cooling system still works well
Rear left taillight likes to blinker or go dead randomly
Lower front left frame seems to have been repaired at one point.
Glove box lock is stuck. Glove box now stuck closed with duct tape
Spare tire is flat a 30yo+ spare tire. What did you expect? At least it’s not the space saver type
Left door is very tricky to open, sometimes won’t open at all
Rattling. RATTLING EVERYWHERE!!!

9 Likes

I am personally offended that your teammates were not named Frank and Stein…

6 Likes

I saw what you did there, little Bobby Tables.

AND DON’T FORGET TO SANITIZE YOUR SPREADSHEETS EVER AGAIN

5 Likes

For a car from 1965, and an engine from 2005, what are we allowed slider-wise?

Your engine must conform to 2005 sliders (no more than what is allowed there), and overall your car+engine combo must conform to the older year.