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The Painful 80's [UE4] [OPEN THREAD]


I’m surprised that nobody has posted anything here in several months, but I think this thread ought to be revived… with something I cooked up earlier, but recently revised: the third-generation Morton Corsair.

Sandwiched between the wedge-shaped second-gen car and the sleeker, more curvaceous fourth-gen model, the Corsair III debuted in 1985. However, with 225 SAE net horsepower, it was a long way from matching the sheer grunt of the big-block original. Even so, it was decidedly faster than its immediate predecessor, ensuring that it gained a dedicated following among performance-starved American enthusiasts.


A little something that Epoch released in 1987 - the M50 Turbo.

Featuring a mid-mounted DOHC 24valve turbocharged v6, displacing 1796cc and fed through a 2-barrel carb, this engine was good for 108kW @ 6400rpm and 183Nm @ 4500rpm. Full boost (0.7 Bar) wasn’t reached until 4200rpm, meaning that you were either cruising or racing… not much in between. Even without a LSD, the M50 Turbo was able to propel its 1170kg mass to 100km/h in a reasonably sporting 8.5 seconds, and eventually reached a top speed of 195 km/h. Whilst not as “go-kart-esque” as the more commonly known Toyota MR2, the M50 Turbo was a much more plush and practical offering, with comfort rivalling cars twice its price.

(shown above with “Electurbo graphics” nil-cost option, and “E-Sport” front bumper)


This is what happens when a Celica, MR-2, and Saturn SC2 have a love child…


Pretty much what I was aiming for… a “what if Toyota went semi-Lexus with a mid-engined celica instead of the MR2”.

For something on the other end of the spectrum, I give you the 1978 Epoch M30 Augustus 27.

Designed to be Epoch’s “World Car”, the Augustus ended up being a compromise in almost every aspect, with the exception of passenger comfort and safety. The car’s engine, a 2694cc straight-6, put out ‘breath-taking’ 77.5kW (103HP) at 5400rpm. When combined with the 4-speed automatic gearbox, the Augustus 27 could reach 100km/h in just under 13 seconds, and topped out at 158km/h.

Alongside the standard car, was the “sports” model, the Augustus 27 Rex. Based upon the same platform and engine, Epoch’s engineers managed to wring out more power to the tune of 115kW (154HP) at 6100rpm. This improvement was somewhat dampened by the more luxurious and well equipped interior, however performance still improved to demonstrate a 0-100km/h time of 9.6 seconds, with a top speed of 175km/h - better than it had any right to really…

Pricing for the Augustus 27 and Augustus 27 Rex came in at about $2,800 and $3,100 respectively, which, when a Corolla cost about $3700, was probably one of the very few things it had going for it!


Please note: the following vehicle is a bad replica of a bad real-life car. The names have been badly changed to pathetically hide the identities of the guilty.

(Insert Bong-Bong from Law and Order here)

Tymouth Plurismo

Though it had been around since 1979, the Plurismo had been powered by a pathetic Pergo 1.6 liter engine. Designers at Tymouth had enough of their little front wheel drive sports-hatch getting made fun of, and designed their own 2.2 liter motor in house. Feel the 96 horsepower through its disurbingly wide-ratio 4-speed transmission.

(Note: Other than 4th gear, which is too much overdrive, I was able to actually damn near replicate this RL transmission.)

While that was a bit of a help, Tymouth really really wanted to make a statement. Like, "let’s do a front-wheel drive muscle car. But keep the 4-cylinder thing.) A few years later they had…

Meet the Plurismo Buster! Using a new turbocharged version of the previous 2.2 liter and ditching the feedback carb in favor of MPFI, this new hatch was… Still kinda ridiculed, even with a 5-speed with not so insanely long gear spacing. But at least it was faster.

If anyone wants to drive these legendary pieces of shit, let me know and I’ll export a beam file for y’all. Or if anyone wants the .car files.


Let’s see who gets the reference. Pretty easy tbh.


Does the pope shit in the Woods?


There could be only one car I could put in here…

1978-1989 Gatz Valerian Mk4 600-6TDE (VSX40/D) (1986 second facelift shown)

This, folks, is insanity and ingenuity wrapped up in one oddball malaise-era premium muscle car. The Mk4 Gatz Valerian (which by now had become pretty much a rebadged and re-tuned KZNG Statesman coupe), although smaller and lighter than the Mk3 that it replaced, was still a bit too big and gas-guzzling for the 1980 CAFE standards. Obviously, since Gatz only had its big V8s and V12s and KZNG’s many straight-sixes on standby (and because Gatz refused to use anything smaller than 6 liters in their biggest model), they decided to go the wild route. This meant swapping the mighty KR-60-O/TDE 6-liter turbodiesel pushrod mechanically-injected straight-six from KZNG’s pickup trucks into a new trim of their halo GT/muscle car, with a specially-built 4-speed manual to handle the torque.

The combination, called the 600-6TDE, proved to be an instant success with those who still wanted to buy a Valerian, but didn’t want to have to pay out of their pockets for single-digit gas mileage or lose the performance of the V12s. It was plenty powerful for the time, with almost 500 pound-feet of torque at 2,600 RPM and almost 300 horsepower at 4,000 RPM. It could crack 135 miles per hour and reach 60 miles per hour in less than 8 seconds - seriously quick for a 3,700-pound muscle car. It wasn’t that bad-handling, either, with the Valerian’s all-around double-wishbone suspension and clutch-pack LSD (swapped to a geared LSD for the '82 first facelift, then a viscous LSD in '86) giving it decent cornering grip and driveability. It got even faster once the KR-Series received EFI for the 1986 second facelift, providing it with a mild boost in power, fuel efficiency, and torque.

But after the release of the ZD-Series quad-cam all-alloy twin-turbo V12s in 1985, the TDE no longer had much of a use in Gatz’s lineup - for the elite minority, at least. It was now too heavy for the corners, too slow for drag racing, and not as economical of a choice as it had been before '85. Neither did it have enough prestige for most Valerian buyers, as it was now viewed as only a poverty-spec eco model for those who couldn’t afford a “proper” model. Nor was it satisfactory for Gatz’s chairman, Jordan Marshmallow, who found a diesel model to be harmful to the Valerian’s reputation. A shame, really, for the 1986-1989 final edition proved to be a fine choice in the lineup with over 500 pound-feet of torque and over 300 horsepower. It cracked 144 miles per hour and hit 60 in 7 seconds, all while still getting 17 mpg from its multi-point-EFI-equipped engine.

Yes, Gatz’s V12s were so bad for fuel economy that the only option they had in the late-1970s to have a hope of achieving CAFE fuel standards was to stick a gigantic truck engine in their luxury coupe. Ironically enough, this car was actually more fuel-efficient than the 3,000-pound, 4.6-liter-V8-powered '78-80 Verno by about 1 mpg (and the Verno used a SOHC 3-valve engine with aluminum heads for light weight). Also, yes, I’m now the madman who stuffed a 6-liter straight-six turbodiesel monster in a muscle car.


The Badura Series 8 Concept was created in the early 80s in attempt to compete more with the sports car market. This wacky concept never saw the sales floor, and was scrapped when funding was cut to the Series 8 later that year. This vehicle provided awful economy figures, which didn’t help it’s case at the time. The vehicle would have costed the public $26,835 in it’s standard configuration. The exterior designers and the engine engineers fought over the size of the V8 motor, but in the end, the exterior designers lost that war, thus creating a unique cutout on the front of the Series 8.

5.5L V8 DOHC-32 EFI
Top Speed 178 MPH
0-60 5 Seconds
422 HP
11.8 MPG


I can totally see that as an 80’s supercar concept…