[UE4] The Great Automation Run 2: Bolivian Affair, Chapter 5 and final results!

Operation BIRD; First Stage I

August 25th 2018; 20:42; evening


Tonsoms phone emits a ringtone. He pulls out one of those ancient Nokia 3310s and reads the message displayed.
The race has officially started
He turns over to the other two:

Tonsom: “Alright, race is on! Here we go!”
Redwood: “Finally, time for my engineering to shine!”

Connor immediately gets into the car, occupying the rear-left seat. Tonsom follows, but on the co-driver seat. Redwood closes up the trunk and also gets into the Mimas as the driver. He starts the engine (firing it up would be severly overstated), puts into first, flicks the lever to lock the diff and heads off into the woods.

The first few minutes were rather uneventful, until they got to a river, with a Tobotar Outlander 4x4 stuck in it. Two people are standing in the river, knee-deep, furious about being out already.
Tonsom rolls down the window:

Tonsom: [shouting] “HEY! You stuck? Need a ride?”
Connor: “The car belongs to the team named Old But Gold, the members are named Richard Smith and Susan Miller.”
Smith: “STAY AWAY! I need time for myself…”
Miller: [comforting voice] “Come on… they are trying to help…”
Smith: “NO WAY! Either i get ther in MY car or i am gonna die here…”
Miller: “Look… they seem to be friendlies. They are trying to help us even though their race result will be blown by this…”
Smith: “Ah fuck it… at least i can keep my money.”
Redwood: “You can enter once we are through the river. Okay?”
Miller: “Nice of you guys.”

The car drives through the river without much of a problem. Connors preconstruction software really helped find the right path in this case and provided Redwood with crystal-clear instruction on where to drive.
On the other side, the group of four helped load Team Old But Gold get their stuff onto the until then empty roofrack of the Mimas. They decided that Connor was of little help for reloading their belongings. Sadly, their tools and everything else in the trunk sank together with the car.
Smith and Miller enter the Mimas with Susan in the rear-middle seat and Richard sitting in the rear-right seat.The other three enter in their positions as before.

The rest of the trip to the camp-site remained rather uneventful, with Redwood mostly using pre-plowed paths of bigger, faster competitors.


August 25th 2018; 21:24; evening

Redwood: “Well… seems like we´re there.”
Tonsom: [:roll_eyes:] “Finally… i wanna sleep…”

The three members and two guest occupants exit the car and start setting up their tents.
Building up a tent was not much of an issue for Susan and Richard, although it´s size (they have seperate tents) made it take longer than most others. Tonsom has serious problems getting his tent assembled, while Redwood took it a sptep further and sets camp in 14 seconds, because he has one of those throw-and-it-opens-into-a-tent-tent things. After that, he helps Tonsom, unsuccessfully, leading to Tonsom having to sleep in the car this time. Connor, not owning a tent in the first place has to stay in the car as well.
While Miller, Smith and Redwood are making themselves at home in their tents, there is a bot of talking in the Mimas…

Tonsom: “Well… my tent is apparently broken. So i have to stay with you the night…”
Tonsom folds the driver seat full flat, now lying down in the car.
Connor: “Your tent is in perfect condition and nothing is missing, Captain.”
Tonsom: “Your ice is getting thin already, and we are fourty minutes in… you want to make it even thinner?”
Connor: [obviously not getting it] “Which sheet of ice are you talking about?”
Tonsom: “Fuck… you are dumber than expected… Anyway… got some topics to talk about?”
Connor: “Yes.”
Tonsom: “Blast ahead.”
Connor: “Can i have my coin back?”
Tonsom: “Why the fuck do you want the coin now??”

Connor: “Remember our visit at Millers Cars and Vans?”
Tonsom: [to himself] “Oh my god not that thing…”
Connor: “Your attack loosened a Thirium hose connection, leading to severe loss of Thirium. The loss resulted in me having to use passive-mode in order to prevent any additional damage. That is why i should have collapsed onto the floor.”
Tonsom: “Oh… Did not think of you being… able to be ingured?”
Connor: “Being damaged. The connection was re-established around 4 minutes later and a supply of Thirium allowed me to return to normal operation.”
Tonsom: “That must´ve been when you woke up?”
Connor: “Correct. The loss of connection meant loss of calibration for the right arm component.”
Tonsom: “Now what?”
Connor: “I need this coin to recalibrate the movements involving the right arm.”
Tonsom: “Soo… you are gonna play with your coin for an eternity?”
Connor: “If you want to call it playing, yes, but not for an eternity.”
Tonsom: “Maybe tomorrow… i need some rest…”

Tonsom rolls around a bit, trying to find a sensible sleeping position. Connor just sits there, staring straight ahead, waiting for any further instructions.


OOC stuff:
Note 1: picking up Old But Gold was agreed on voa Discord DM
Note 2: @Mr.Computah i may accept a minor time penalty at the next morning to compensate for the time spent loading their stuff onto the Mimas
Note 3: Any character in my Team (members of Old But Gold included) will be called by their last name in my posts (Connor does not have a last name)
Note 4: same applies for any other character, if a last name is available
Note 5: since Connor’s cover went down the drain in the Discord, i saw no reason to continue hiding his identity

8 Likes

Yeah, I totally can’t tell what position I ended in. But I am disappointed I had a breakdown this early in the event.

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Honey?

Oh, Jean, c’est toi? It’s Leo, where is Sarah?

Hello Honey

What do you mean don’t honey you?

I am calling…

I didn’t know it was 3 am there… Wait, what is Jean doing th…?

Bolivia.

No, Bolivia, the country, not that dance club.

Yes, there’s a country that’s called Bolivia.

Sarah, no, I’m not with Dominica, that time is over…

Yes, I realize that turned out to be country too.

Look, don’t be like this, honey…

Ok, no, honey. I’m here with Calle and Kenny.

No, it’s not a place with loose women. It’s something with cars and rednecks, like those half-mummies in the car behind us until we finally got here in the camp.

No, I’m not doing drugs, I need to drive. I’m a responsible adult person.

Sarah, stop laughing.

Look, baby, I’ll be home, and I’ll bring a surprise. It’s going to be big.

No, I don’t have it already.

No, not almost either, we… had some complications on the way so f…

Ok, you, sure, screw you too.

Love you too.

10 Likes

Team JuiceHouse // Day 1

YEET

[With a big slide the car reaches the campsite. Muffled bass boosted Dubstep playes from the car. With a more or less aimed handbrake turn the car stops on an empty space, spraying mud around in the process]

[The music stops and the front door opens. Thick white smoke escapes from the car interior as Kyle and Jim exit]
“So this is the jungle?” Kyle says.
“Looked more impressiv on TV to be fair boy.”
“Well we prob gunna see more tomorrow bro”
“So where we gun sleep ? i aint seeing no hotel here?”
“Ah lookit i planned !”
[Kyle goes to the back door, opens it and then proceeds to fold the back row down.]
“Bro you wanna sleep in the car?”, Jim asks
“Im not done yet fam”
[Kyle opens the the trunk and opens up a box and gets the content out]
“What is that?”
“It a trunk tent!”
“A wha?”
“Youl see man”
[After some time the tent was rasied over the trunk]
“And now we have more room!”,Kyle says.
“But that mean we still have to sleep next to each other…”
“I have sleeping bags ?”
“But bro thats kinda… gay you know”
“I mean we do have that condom”
“Brah not cool”

8 Likes

Team Dirt Warriors, Part 1

The Dirt Warriors were only 10th after the first leg, but since they were racing for fun, it didn’t matter to them very much at all. After they heard about the Communist Expendables’ demise, Geoff was very relieved that he and his right-hand man hadn’t suffered the same fate… yet.

Stan: “What on earth did we expect from them? They must’ve been tempting fate with such a name.”

Geoff: “Serves them right. Team Old But Gold aren’t here either - I’m presuming they’ve also been killed in action unless someone tells us otherwise.”

Stan: “You mean they also died from injuries sustained in a crash?”

Geoff: “Not a certainty, but highly likely, which goes to show how dangerous this race really is. As for us, we’re still in the top 10 after the first leg, so we’re due some credit at the very least.”

Stan: “It’s our fuel economy (or lack of it) that’s holding us back, though, and besides, some of our rivals are just plain faster.”

Geoff: “Regardless of our shortcomings, we’d rather be holding nothing back for the next leg. We could gain a few positions that way.”

Stan: “Our plan’s set, then.”

And so the Dirt Warriors set up camp, had dinner and went to sleep, eagerly anticipating what the next day would bring.

Current budget: $6081

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GAR 2: Episode 2 - Vertigo

Stage 1 campsite, near Riberalta, Bolivia, 07:20 AM. 26th August 2018.

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Alright, Not so bad for the GA700. atleast they didn’t fell of the cliff :joy:

(Anyway, i am extremely lazy to write a role about this, So i’ll just take a seat, grab a snack, and watch)

2 Likes

I have a crap car, am dead slow, BUT mostly healthy and the car is running great!

1 Like

Team Two Idiots

John just hit an extremely hard bump

“FUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK” screamed Scott as his arm gets jammed through his elbow…

“SCOTT ARE YOU OKAY?!” shouted John

“I don’t…” Scott is cut off when he faints from the agonizing pain.

“Oh fuck!” John shouts

They pull over and John notices how the bone is poking out. John jams Scott’s arm out of his elbow and back into place. He then wipes down the entire area with antiseptic and puts the bone in position. Then he wraps bandage all around the area.

“Should do for now, when we reach the next stop I gotta do something a bit more…”

John takes the rest of the journey a lot slower as he does not want to injure Scott anymore.

“Holy shit, that man needs some milk.”

As John reaches a straight of some sort… he guns it, hopefully to make up time…

John immediately hits a huge bump and flies towards a tree, as the truck lands, he jams his steering wheel to the left.

He clips off his right mirror and regains control…

“I nearly died… holy shit I am a terrible driver.”

He sees Scott, still snoring in his chair.

“Phew… at least that didn’t end too bad…”

2 be continued

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I am not third last!

I think.

Maybe.

Spreadsheets are difficult.

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“I wonder how that M3 is doin’…”

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TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS
26th of August 2018

ANDREAS: I’m sure I can pass this obstacle pretty well if I just floor it.
MARIE: I think you’re wrong!
JANNE (sleeping in the back seat): ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
The V6 roared through the jungle, with a wheezing turbo in the background, as Andreas floored the accelerator.
ANDREAS: I bet we can make it, we’re almost thro…
BANG!
JANNE (with a heavily bleeding nose): WHAT THE (curse word) ARE YOU DOING?
ANDREAS: What are YOU doing, it’s like you were trying to head butt me?
JANNE: Are you so damn stupid that you think you can pass through the jungle with a girlie SUV just by flooring it…sigh… Lousy lap belts in the rear, as good as duct taping your pants to the seat…
ANDREAS: You should have built the car better but you said we didn’t need an offroader.
JANNE: LET ME DRIVE IT AGAIN!
Some minutes later
ANDREAS: So, mr. Wise Guy. We’re stuck again. How about getting us loose with your magical driving skills?
JANNE: I should have brought my own Deer and Hunt to this, sigh…

27th of August 2018
ANDREAS: Hey, this is where the Turbo V6 pays off! I’m starting to like it!
JANNE: Yeah, just floor it and…BRAKE BRAKE BRAKE BRAKE!!!
The ABS system started doing its work like there was no tomorrow…
ANDREAS: There’s a huge rock blocking the road!
JANNE: SIGH, DO YOU WANT ME TO DRIVE AGAIN? WE CAN PASS IT!

Later on

ANDREAS: We are stuck on this rock now, are you starting to realize why you can’t use a barbie Suv in an offroad competition?

After the third attempt to pass, which was a success, the team stopped briefly.

ANDREAS: Turbo V6 or not, we’re losing time on this…
JANNE. For the next competition I wil buy a damn tank!

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Team Wonderbolts. Day 2.

Having left the camp early, Xsara and Moira took an early lead over the competition. However, the bumps and vibrations meant that the bolts holding up the steering column came loose, the steering wheel drooping into Xsara’s lap. She pulled the Ranger over to the side while she went about re-fixing the steering column to the dash.

[X] “Get the tool kit, Moira and two lock nuts.”
Moira obliges, grabbing the necessary equipment.

Xsara replaces the regular nuts with the lock nuts and re-attaches the steering column, the nylon in the nuts gripling onto the thread of the bolts to ensure they don’t work loose.


Day 3

Despite that small hiccup, Team Wonderbolts entered the Death Road still in first place, the Ranger gliding through the treachetous path with ease. They met oncoming traffic a couple of times, but that didn’t slow them down.

Emerging from Death Road, the two girls were still in first, almost 14 minutes clear of the competition. Parking at their spot, they hopped out, cheering as they hugged, celebrating their small victory.

[X] “YEEEEEEETTTT!”
In a celebratory mood, Xsara drifts the Ranger into their spot.
[M] “We did it! We’re in first!”
[X] “No thanks to you with your excellent car choice and my great driving skills.”
They both get out and hug each other, Xsara starting a timer on her watch.
[X] “Wonder how far clear we are.”
They second place car soon arrives and she stops the timer.
[X] “Almost 14 minutes. I’m very happy with that.”
[M] “Same here.”

** To Be Continued… **

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Aston's Orc Krew: Curiosity killed the cat, insanity killed the rebels

Somewhere in Caranavi, Bolivia…

Jack: Well, we sure got past some crazy shit. That Death Road did some damage.

Sly: Still can’t believe the Shitbox Brothers went out like that… We just outran the best team to ever run a lemon, and they are gone…

Hugh: Keep your head cold, Sly. You knew the risks for this. The locals don’t call it Death Road because it sells tourism leaflets better. And right now we still need to finish this second part or we’ll join them.

Jack: You don’t need to tell me that twice. (looks at rearview mirror) Wait… The Valhallas? Dammit, we only got a dinky 4-cylinder. No way we’re shaking a V6 limo off here.

The Limo gets closer, not quite overtaking the Nash. It keeps a slightly further distance, when suddendly a right-hand corner approaches.

Jack: Crap, this just gets better. With their girth, they can overtake simply by nudging us! And they’re gearing up for it, too.

Hugh (looking at rearview mirror): Wait… Shit, this isn’t good.

Sly (shaking in fear): Wha… what is going on!?

Hugh: Jack, evasive maneuvers, now!

Jack: The fuck are you…?

Hugh: I said now, dammit! Turn left!

Jack: Grr…!

The Nash suddenly veers left, right into a ditch! The Mad Max Limo still hit the brakes, but not in time to stop so much mass still at their speed. It careens off the cliff, going sideways and all the way down. Jack gets out of the car in a hurry, whilst Sly very slowly tumbles out, with Hugh in tow.

Jack: Holy fuckin’ shit, what the actual fuck were they thinking!?

Sly: My god, are they…

Hugh: Yes, they almost certainly are. They were going straight in our direction, they weren’t moving to the side to overtake us. Looks like they went for an assisted Viking burial with us.

Jack: This is complete bullshit! What fuckin’ reasons did they have to take us out!? And to top it all off, the motherfuckin’ car is beached! It’s gonna take us at least 2 hours or more to get all the wheels out! And it doesn’t help that we didn’t bring a winch…

Hugh: Jack, calm down.

Jack: How the fuck can I…!?

Hugh: I said calm the fuck down, soldier!

Jack (taken aback): …wow, where did that come from? Actually, never mind, you’re right. As a guy who does extreme sports for a livin’, I shouldn’t be mad about the ditch. (sighs) Thanks, Hugh, you saved my… no, our asses.

Sly: Yeah, what he said. Thanks, Mr. Ache. I don’t think I’m ready to die for someone else’s sake.

Hugh: We die when our breath doesn’t get lighter, Sly. But I wasn’t about to let you two die on a kamikaze attack. This ain’t Pearl Harbor.

Sly: Well… Now what?

Jack: Now we get to diggin’. But unlike those crazy fucks, who dug their own grave, we’re diggin’ ourselves out of ours. La Paz won’t wait forever, so get to it.

Sly (staring at the corner, sighing): …is this what you really wanted, Valhalla? Racing glory isn’t for those who die, but those who fight. Like the Gutierrez…

To Be Continued!

The true post-stage update will come tomorrow after lunch at earliest. And yeah, what was that about? I demand several explanations, @Vri404

8 Likes

I just… what? Who needs driveability when you have offroadability, reliability and a V8 motor! (If someone doesn’t get that reference, I’m very disappointed in humanity)

Valhalla Awaits

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Team Bibimbap Part 1 and 2

Day 1

Klaxon sounds to start the race

Park: Go, Go, Go!

Li slams his foot on the gas as the Bopproader disappeared into the jungle. The thick undergrowth makes traversing the jungle difficult, however, the Bop manages to hold it together…

Park: Damn the bamboo here is real thick here.

Li: Yeah, but this car is small and nimble, no problem with passing right round them.

Park: Looks like people are getting stuck everywhere. Utter fools bringing their land barges along.

Li: Looks like we’re approaching the river. Wait… is that a car stuck there?

Park: Looks like it. Hahahaha, its one of those oversized offroaders. What a bunch of fools getting stuck there.

Li: Heh, those idiots, look at us in our Bop. Managed to ford that silly little stream with ease.

Park: Yeah, you don’t need a big offroader to get around here.

A short while later

Park: Woah, theres some idiot in the way!

Li slams on the brakes as hard as he can, but it does little to stop the car plowing into the rear of the other vehicle

Li: Fuck me, who the fuck is that in the way?

Park: No clue…wait, are they coming towards us with a machete

Li: Lemme get the A…

Park: DON’T! Just run away for now. We can’t compromise out cover yet, we can deal with them later.

Li: But if we get rid of them now…

Park: JUST MOVE IT!

The Bop shoots off before the men get a chance to attack the car

Li: You know if we disposed of them that would be one less team in the running.

Park: Yeah, and our cover would be blown too. This mission is way too important for us to fail.


Day 2

Park: Lets move now.

Li: Man its way to early. Im tired from all the crap yesterday. You drive.

Park: Fine then, lets move.

The two men quickly jump into the car and speed off into the distance

Li: Man the view here is good. Not as good as back home of course.

Park: Wanna put something on the radio?

Li: Yeah got some good tracks to play.

Park: Yeah, that’s the stuff. Perfect driving music.

After many hours of driving they come across their first casualty

Li: Woah, is that?

Park: Looks like it, another one down.

Li: We aren’t on even on death road yet are we?

Park: Of course not. See any survivors?

Li: Nope…

Park: Well don’t get discouraged, we’re driving for the great leader. His might will protect us on these roads.

Eventually they arrive at the campsite for the night

Li: Do you think we’ll make it?

Park: Of course, we have to.

Li: That 3 million dollars…it could feed my family for generations. It could feed the rest of out country for years. We must achieve this goal.

Park: Naturally, that’s what we’re here for you know. To make our country proud.

Li: Anyways captain, I’m off to sleep.

Park: Good night…sighs I pity him, a green on a mission like this. If Sung hadn’t betrayed us…no way in hell can I tell him the real reason why we’re here…man a place like this…would be a perfect place to disappear…


Day 3

As the sun rises the two men gear up to get on the road again

Park: Good nights sleep?

Li: Refreshed and ready to roll down death road.

Park: Good, lets get going then.

It was a long uneventful drive with a few near misses

Li: Damn, its a long way down.

Park: Just focus on the road, I’ll tell you if we’re too close.

Li: I bet all those fools who brought their wide cars along are regretting it now.

Park: Just focus. We can’t afford to die here. For the glory of our country, we must succeed.

Li: Right, lets go then…

When they finally arrived at the camp site they noticed one car missing. The car they crashed into two days prior

Park: I told you, we didn’t need to take care of them. Those aggressive fools are too unskilled to tackle such a dangerous trek

Li: I guess so. Would have been a waste of ammunition.

Park: And blown our cover. Anyways, get some rest, tomorrow is gonna be a long day climbing. The last thing we need is to get tired up there…

6 Likes

Team Canon Fodder

Our not-so-heroes lacked the energy at the end of their day to set up a tent. Instead, they merely brought out their folding chairs and a small cooler full of beer, and sat in front of the Keystone, sipping the brews and trying not to concentrate on the fact that most of their joints ached and throbbed.

“Dude, I so wanted to hurl, like, 500 times,” Ollie said.

“Good thing you didn’t. You were driving.” Devin paused for a second as he wasn’t sure the burp coming up was actually a burp. “I can still taste the banana puke.”

“Dude, don’t remind me. Car’s gonna smell like it from now on.”

“Sorry. I tried to get it outside…”

6 Likes

Rental Wreckers

Previous Post - Day 1 - Welcome to the Jungle


“So, Caranavi, then.” Jake said, getting into the driver’s seat and starting the Travette’s engine. He pulled the stick down into Drive and tried to make up some time, the turbocharged three-cylinder roaring as they chased down the Dirt Warriors, though inevitably ended up falling behind, their car simply not having the power to catch the more-powerful machine in front of them. Cody, however, was laughing as they threw gravel and dirt at the teams behind them, their rear wheels spinning furiously on the road.

It was roughly 7 PM when the Travette hustled into the town of Caranavi. Jake checked the phone and said, “Halfway there, and already lost a team. Wonder who it was.”

At 7:30 in the morning, however, it was obvious who was missing. “Where’s those jokers in the lifted muscle car we drove into?” Cody asked. Jake waved the phone and said, “They might be the missing team, the casualty.”

Out on the Death Road, however, Cody took the wheel. “Wish these Dirt Warrior pricks would get off of our rear bumper.” Cody grumbled. “They crash into us, I’m going after 'em with the machete.”

A few twists and turns later, Cody was trying to negotiate a tighter-than-expected turn when they got shoved into the ditch by the Dirt Warriors. In an instant, Cody was out of the car, machete in hand, as he approached the Dirt Warriors. A few swipes were exchanged, mostly Cody doing damage to the paint of the Dirt Warriors car, and stabbing the driver’s seat twice, before the Dirt Warriors swung back and clipped Cody on his arm with their own machete. Cody retreated, but not without calling them all sorts of names and promising retribution later.

He got back into the car, where Jake was busy describing it for a social media post as a "Proper, honest modern sword-fight on the most dangerous road in the world, complete with pictures. The two of them wrestled the Travette out of the ditch with proper abuse of the Sport Mode and the lockable rear diff, then headed out onto the road at a more sedate pace.

Somehow, the two of them made it to La Paz, with Jake limping lightly from driving with a strained ankle, and Cody cleaning the rather nasty-looking, though minor cut on his arm. “I hope their blade fucking rusts to shit for that.” Cody said.

“Well, we could be assholes and chainsaw the roof of their car apart, or we could be civilized about it.” Jake said.

“I’d sure feel a lot better if we dumped a couple of our piss bottles in their driver’s seat. Rear-ending someone on the fucking Death Road. I don’t care that it was an accident, stop fuckin’ tail-gating.” Cody grumbled, checking the phone. “Lost another one, by the sound of it. Looks like it might be the mad-max limo.”


@abg7 Figured I’d give your team a bit of extra glory for that one. After all, not many could say they’ve had a sword-fight on the Death Road. Plus, worst you’ve gotta deal with is some holes in your seats and some rather nasty looking paint scratches. Though I’d be pleased if we at least knocked the mirror off the car… But that’s entirely up to you.

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Team Dirt Warriors, Part 2

On the infamous Death Road, Geoff and Stan struggled, but still believed they could make it through. Unfortunately, some time later, the Dirt Warriors’ unintentional collision with the Rental Wreckers provoked the latter into threatening to hack off Geoff and Stan’s limbs with their machetes.

“You fools are so thin-skinned, you couldn’t tell the difference between an accident and a deliberate ramming attack!” Stan warned the Rental Wreckers as he swung his own machete. He ended up getting a clean hit on Cody’s arm, convincing him to back off. Eventually he got back inside the Teton and ordered Geoff to hit the accelerator… only to notice the missing passenger side mirror.

“The right mirror’s gone, but it shouldn’t be too serious. It would take too much time and effort for anyone to destroy our car with nothing more than a machete. I think we should head for La Paz right now - we have little time to waste.”

“All right then, let’s get on with it. We don’t want another run-in with these maniacs unless we have no choice!” Geoff hollered in encouragement.

Eventually the Dirt Warriors made it to La Paz, relieved that they and their Teton were in one piece. Despite having fallen out of the top 10, they remained as upbeat as ever, knowing that there was still a lot of driving to do. And with two more teams out of the race, they knew that every mistake could potentially be their last… as far as this race is concerned.

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