Maybe people could tell, but I like those kind of competitions. I will do an effort to get a car ready among organising my own.
I will see what I can come up with…
Just not sure what we’ll be driving, nor what team will be behind the wheel… I know an SUV would probably be a good choice, but… Well, that would be the sane option, and we wouldn’t want that, now would we?
I’m tempted to run an offroad-ified 1999 Sinistra Serenade.
Only because I’m pretty sure I can’t make the Sinistra Sunbolt fit in the rule-set, as fun as a rear-engine sports-car with 5 seats could be.
This is so tricky yet fun!!!
I’m trying to make a good offroader with in “Dakar Raid” in mind but I’ll have to make it suitable enough budget, stuffing decent size V8 will be a bit too gas guzzler which drains the leftover budget.
Team Rental Wreckers
Driver: Jake Storm
Mechanic: Cody Acorne
After their misadventures and subsequent rescue from 1952, these two found themselves ‘informed’ of a race and sent to find a car by Luke Light. Why? Because then he’d know “Where and when the hell the two of you are” and because it’d keep these two from messing with his time machine again. Realizing the stakes were high, and the prize higher, the two of them set out to find the ultimate racing machine.
Specifically, their attempts to body-drop an old sedan onto a truck frame, then shove a 460-horsepower Sinistra V10 under the hood resulted in an undrivable mess.
After several rounds of beer and vodka, the two found themselves planning ideas and tinkering with a couple likely plans. They drank until they blacked out, and woke up to something they certainly weren’t expecting.
This little screaming shit-nugget is a Vheego Travette 2000. Built in 2000, they made excellent cheap rental cars, and this one was no exception. With a 2 liter turbocharged inline 3 under the hood, a 5 speed automatic, and rear-wheel-drive, they made for cheap dependable fun.
So, what did our daring duo do to theirs? They welded together an offroading skidplate, wrapped the factory 15 inch steel rims in offroad tires, and had too much fun adding two more exhaust tips to the back of their little shitbox.
How far will this former rental car go? Who knows, and who cares?! These two are just out to have fun in their silver-blue ex-rental car, at least until something either breaks, or they crash it.
Feel free to skip to the next post below if you don’t want to read the story.
August 2018, 6 days after the Rescue from 1952, Storm Automotive HQ.
“What do you mean ‘We’re volunteered’ for this race?!” Jake said, staring at Luke with a mix of horror, shock, and anger written on his face.
“You knew there would be consequences for messing with my time machine, Jake. I volunteered you and Cody for this race so that I’ll know where and when the hell you’re at, and not be getting angry phone calls from Luke Sinistra regarding my security being shit. So, yes, you’re going on this race, or I’ll find something far more unpleasant for you to do, but I will personally guarantee you won’t have a single second to think about sneaking back down the elevator.” Luke shot back. “So go look for a car and start fixing it up.”
Jake looked at Cody, then snapped at him, “Thanks for backing me up, pal.”
“You got me dragged into this shit, Jake. Be glad he’s got us going on an illegal street race, and not sending us to work for Luke Sinistra as janitors. C’mon, we’re gonna go see Trevor, see if the maniac has anything worth driving we can bodge together.” Cody replied, giving a light grin.
The two of them took a cab to Trevor’s wrecking yard, where they wandered around until inspiration took hold.
“That’s a Sinistra Stampede. Has a V10 under the hood, made about 460 horses back in the 90’s. All-wheel-drive, though front-biased because, well, Sinistra does front-wheel-drive stuff.” Cody said. “And that’s an old Dynamite T-750, cab’s mangled to hell, but the frame’s still good. Take the body of that old Crown Monarch over there, drop it on that frame, shove 6.2 liters of Sinistra V10 under the hood, and, well, it’d go like hell.”
“Let’s do it, then.”
August 14, 2018, A Bar in Chicago.
“Wasted two days on that car.” Jake said, on his third glass of vodka after two bottles of beer. “All it does is spin the tires and then loop around on itself. We’re gonna fuckin’ die if we drive that fuckin’ thing.”
“We’ll think of something. We’re just not drunk enough.” Cody slurred out, a bit more drunk than Jake as he scribbled on a napkin. “See, the junkyard special is… Hold on, I gotta fart.” Cody mumbled, before unleashing a nearly-lethal cloud of gas and proceeding to try to wave it off. “Damn tacos. What was I sayin’ again… Oh, right. The junkyard special’s a good idea, but we don’t have the time for it.”
“I know. We need something fast, and we need it fast.” Jake said. “What’s the fastest car you can think of that we can get now?”
“A rental.” Cody said, before unleashing a belch that rattled glasses on the bar top.
“Be serious, Cody.”
“I am fuckin’ serious. People beat the shit out of rental cars all the fuckin’ time. We just need to get one used that ain’t too fucked up, buy it, and we’ve got a car we don’t have to care too much about.” Cody said.
“Given that the two of you keep mentioning some sort of illegal race, I shouldn’t say this, but my sister, Rachel, she runs this little rental place, Rachel’s Rapid Rentals. She’s got a car or two up for sale, kinda the end-of-life specials. They’re still good, but they’ve had a lot of miles,” the bartender said, before handing Jake one of the business cards.
August 15, 2018, 5:15 AM, Storm Raceworks Division Garage
Jake woke up to his smartphone blaring loud music at him, with the worst headache he’d ever had in his life. He grabbed the phone and shut off the alarm, then laid back down in the bed. 15 minutes later, the phone blared another loud alarm, and he got up, cursing the son-of-a-witch that set fifteen fucking alarms 15 minutes apart from each other. He slid out of bed, went to stand up, then promptly smacked his head on the roof.
Coming to his senses, he slowly realized where he was. Tan interior, belt-buckle in his back all night, the smell of wet dog and grandma’s house, mixed with cheap pine air fresheners and carpet powder.
“Aw fuck.” Jake grumbled, opening the rear passenger door and getting out of their new used rental car.
An hour later, Cody arrived, looking just about as bad as Jake did.
“So, we bought this last night.” Jake said. “Early 2000, a Vheego Travette.”
“Could be worse.” Cody said, looking over their little compact sedan. “Two-liter engine, turbocharged, rear-wheel-drive. Looks like we’ve got an automatic, too. A good one, actually. Park, reverse, neutral, drive, sport, and low. Plus and minus next to sport, so hey, we’ve got their 5 speed!”
“Well, says here we need an offroader.” Jake said, waving his phone at Cody.
“Weld on a skid-plate, fit offroad tires to those rims, and replace the open diff with a manual locker, and we’ll have something loosely like an off-roader.” Cody said, giving a wicked grin.
The two of them started work immediately, fitting an underbelly skid-plate and rock guards, getting offroad tires on their 15 inch steel rims, finding some center caps to cover the lug nuts off of some old hippie bus, and dropping the whole rear axle to fit the new manual locking differential.
Then, it was time for cosmetics. Cody got two more exhaust tips from Trevor’s junkyard and fitted them to their little Travette, and Jake supplied a low-profile rear wing for maximum aggression. They agreed, for their sanity, to leave the catalytic converter and muffler attached to the car, rather than straight-pipe it for maximum loudness.
“We need a team name.” Cody said after a while, as they studied their new car, looking for any ways to improve it.
“What do you mean?” Jake asked.
“Well, we’re not the V6 Vandals because we’re missing 3 cylinders and half the team, and we can’t claim Twin Snail because we don’t have two turbos, and we’re not part of that team. And it’s not a highway run, so Highway Hooligans is also out.”
“Rental Wreckers.” Jake said, grinning. “Let’s face it, we’ve got an old rental car and we’re going to prove that it’s not the power that matters, it’s not caring. Let’s show some of these hot-shots that 100 horsepower is more than enough to go fast.”
“Wow, we’ve only got a hundred horsepower? Thought we’d have at least twice that with the turbo.” Cody said, seeming shocked.
“She redlines at 4500, has pushrods, and an eco-turbo. What’d you expect? Trust me, we’ll be faster than somebody just because we’ll push the car. After all, it’s only a rental.” Jake said, chuckling.
Road Rally - 1952 Corso di Fruinia [FINAL RESULTS]
I’d be thoroughly shocked if you don’t win because everyone knows a rental is the fastest car in the world.
Rental is the answer to everything.
“I don’t know how to parallel park!” Don’t worry, it’s a rental.
“I don’t know how to drive a stick!” Don’t worry, it’s a rental.
“I don’t know how to drive car!” Don’t worry, it’s a rental.
So in case of injury there is a 23% chance of dying.
Those sound like fantastic odds.
I know just the guy for this.
Is this one of those “grandfather paradox” things?
I feel like I need to ask this for moral reasons, but where the hell is an illegal offroading competition getting a $3,000,000 cash prize? I know this is South America and everything, but perhaps there is a package being put in the cars during tech that the officials aren’t telling us?
Don’t question it. Just accept it. If someone is paying you that much you don’t care where the money is from.
They’re definitely stashing some bags of fruit loops under our cars.
Well, time travel was involved. Nothing world breaking, after all, there’s no way these two jokers could win a race in a ‘borrowed’ 1952 pickup truck, but it got them noticed by Luke Sinistra (their goal), who sent them home ‘15 minutes’ after they’d left. Fast-forwarding to 2018, Luke Sinistra called Luke Light and informed him that his security needs serious work before the two idiots in the basement get the chance to go on another adventure. Hence, 6 days later, this event happens, because Luke Light wants to know where - and more importantly, when - these two happen to be.
End result, we have two middle-aged ‘kids’ having to run in a very dangerous illegal race, because it’s seen by the two of them to be less dangerous than dealing with a rather angry pair of Lukes.
Do keep in mind, it’s a former rental car. And it has 100.4 horsepower. And it’s automatic.
Then again, it’s a former rental car…
I’ll be returning to the world of the GAR and I’ll be bringing the Smith brothers with me!
EDIT: @Mr.Computah, is the car price calculated at +0% initially, or is there an initial amount of mark-up required?
The markdowns for each era!
Like Drivability, does the offroad stat play into any calculations besides “Meet the minimum and that’s all that matters”
Do we just need 28 or will meme offroad actually be viable?
actually a good question…
if 28 is a hard-limit minimum, i could just put new wheels on my car and get far enough
You just need 28!