Aston's Orc Krew: Stage 3: It's like that Pierce Brosnan movie, only in reverse
Show intro musiiiiiiiiiic!
Jack: Hey hey hey, welcome! This is yo boy Jack Aston, live from a motherfraggin’ volcano! That’s right, Stage 3 of the 2nd Great Automation Run is in the books, and as usual we have all the ups and downs, but mostly ups, of this insane race.
Sadly, once again we have to report casualties. Team Mud Masters, comprised by Puerto Rico’s Jousseppe “Kadeem” San-German and Rick “Semir” Lopez, lost their lives during the Guallatiri climb when the GA700 fell down the road and rolled over several times. Rescue crews have found the car, but sadly it was too mangled to prevent another tragedy. Our thoughts and prayers are with the drivers’ families.
We almost had a second casualty; the drivers of the Paginza ended up with a broken suspension they couldn’t fix, and were lost nearly the Chilean border. Fortunately, the great dudes of Team Run ‘N’ Gun stopped their car, and offered them a lift to the border! Now this is sportsmanship, people. These guys have earned a round of beers on me, that much I can say…
Hugh (thinking to himself): Ben… That’s an unsual amount of kindness for someone running for his life. But that’s good. No one else needs to shed blood from circunstances outside of their control. This race has claimed enough lives as-is.
Jack: The key moments of this race were both before and during the volcano climb. The race’s dark horse, the infamous Modesty Machine, got lost in the city! Well, they were lost in the city’s traffic jams, to be exact. This cost’em a lot of time, as shown by their drop to 5th. Operation BIRD also had issues understanding the city layout, as they too lost time due to wrong turns at Albuquerque.
The freeway put new blood on the podium; the Mitrus, former 4th place, is now in 3rd, while the Pajura capitalized on the MM’s issues to grab 2nd place! The R3200 and the MM complete the top 5, on what has been one heated battle.
Another guy to look out for is Team Southend or Bust. These guys in their Hollywood tractor have moved up to 6th, even despite a botched run up the volcano!
As for yours truly, we’re stuck in 31st place. Not a fine run, but we have survived to tell this story. And as usual, you too can read it by following us on social media, or watch our ongoing series by subscribing now and getting a discount for the Last Stage Special Show! We will provide more info on that after stage 4, so keep those eyes and ears peeled.
Will we catch up to other guys? Will the lead change yet again before the final stage? Does Viagra really work to cure altitude sickness? It does but let me tell ya, you better find a dock for your anchor if you go there, if you catch my drift. Until then, keep following us for the suicidal, genocidal, daring… GREAT AUTOMATION RUN 2!!!