Comparison #1: 1996 Aria Bayonet S vs 2006 Caitou CCM19
I get it. You vape a lot. You hang out with your bros in the What-A-Burger parking lot to vape publicly and park at the disabled spot every time you arrive. You lead a gang of street menace and your so-called crew name is something among the lines of “Street Riders” and “Fuck The Cops We Vape". Your group consists of a lot of budget race cars but the most predominant of them all are one of these, because these things depreciated faster than Mike Tyson’s boxing career. You have a 1996 Aria Bayonet S, or a 2006 Caitou CCM19.
Part 1: Bayonet
The whole Bayonet series in itself was never really a top performer, nor was it ever the worst thing on the sports car market. The 2nd gen Bayonet, which we have over here, is pretty much proof of my statement. Compared to the other Kimuras and Corsicas and Maesimas of its time, it didn’t really stand out. Fit and finish was good, but not the best. The 221 naturally-aspirated inline 6 got me from 0-60 in 6.4 seconds, so it wasn’t the fastest nor the peppiest, but it managed. The styling of the car was decent to say the least; it’s not very boring but it’s not really interesting either. The interior was full of fabric and some leather, but other competitors had higher quality interiors. Overall, it’s just an average car with nothing outstanding.
On the road, it’s quite fun. Steering was a bit heavy, but it was comfortable enough. It pulls nicely due to its engine, but other cars pulled much better. The ride was smooth, and it absorbed some bumps pretty well. It’s a blast to corner these things though, since it managed to pull off 0.974 Gs in a 20m radius, and it’s pretty damn light, cause it weighs only 1232 kilograms. Gas mileage is average, however it’s a bit poor for modern standards, as it averaged 27.3 MPG only.
Overall, it’s pretty a decent car that makes you look cool when you vape that shady $5 vape you bought from that dude that lives across the street.
Part 2: CCM19
The CCM19 was China’s answer to the cheap sports coupe market, and all I can say is that it’s just decent at best, but it never hits its best. Like most Caitous of its era, it wasn’t the best thing you could buy, and it was just outclassed by those Huangdoughs or Huanghoes or whatever the fuck its called. On paper, the car itself isn’t special, however it just sounds nice. A 1.9 L i4 with a turbo and direct injection sounds great, until you realize that it pushes out only 172 horses, and has a top speed of only 138 miles/hour, and a 0-60 time of 8 seconds. It weighs 1407 kilograms and manages 0.892 Gs on the 20m radius. Styling is bland and kinda fucking uninspired and looks like an obese fuck, although it’s a tidy design with nothing offensive. Interior is honestly pretty shitty; there’s a bunch of cheap and hard plastic around the interior with some really rough synthetic-leather seats. At least it’s equipped with some decent features such as climate control and some pretty sporty looking pedals with holes in them.
On the road, this car felt underwhelming at best. The ride was harsh, the car from the Flintstones handled better than this, and it didn’t feel like a sports coupe at all. It felt like a mix between a truck and a cheap shitbox. The 5-speed manual gearbox was sluggish and didn’t add any sort of fun to the overall experience. The one thing that really drove me insane was the goddamn AC. Caitou managed to fuck up air conditioners and made an AC that is as effective as using negative glasses when you have fucking cylinders. It’s just as hot as Miami in there, no matter what you do to the AC. About the only good thing during the drive was that the car managed 40 miles per gallon, which for me isn’t good because that means I spent 40 fucking miles in that dumpster fire of a car. Don’t put me in this car ever again.
Well, I don’t really feel the need to properly test these two cars out because the Aria just simply dominates it everywhere. However, there’s a couple of tests that need to be done in order to find out what’s truly the more superior car.
Test 1: Which car can store more vape pens in the trunk?
The Aria won here. Although the Caitou had 432 litres of trunk space, while the Aria had only 350 litres, the very thought of storing 432 litres of vape pens is pretty fucking stupid and I would not want to be seen carrying 432 litres of vape pens in a goddamn car.
Test 2: Which car has a stronger dash?
For this test, we brought in an 18 year old college dropout named Ayden who lives in his mom’s house and vapes a lot. He’s also a crippling meth addict so he’s the best guy we got to do something as stupid as breaking the dash. For this test, Kyle will punch the dashboard of each car for as long as he can until one of them breaks.
Well, that was quick. The Caitou’s dash broke first, just after 3 punches. It’s unsurprising, considering the shitty quality of the Caitou. 3 punches though, Ayden should be a fucking boxer…
Test 3: Which car gets more pullover/hour?
How do I put this….the Aria won? I mean, it got pulled over multiple times for expired plates. I guess the Caitou is more incognito.
Conclusion: The Bayonet’s just a better car. Now, try and convince your vape friends to sell their Caitou CCM19s to buy more vape pens since you’re so damn cool.
The CCM19 looks too much like an ordinary family car, if I’m being honest - and it feels like one, too.
Comparison #2: 1973 Dondo GT 12 vs. 1973 Gaubert 408GT (reviewed by Toni Toenchen)
We are now in the 1970s and having a million dollar doesn’t mean you’re rich anymore. The times of the “Chinese Wall” aren’t interesting anymore and the trend of an integrated investment bank, providing sales, trading, research, and investment banking under one roof began to take root. Well, all these very heavy pockets need something to sit in. And they want a sportscar without a sporty suspension. Here we have two European competitors for this quickly growing market. It is France vs. Italy - V8 vs. V12 - let’s have a look
1973 Gaubert 408GT
When you approach the car there are only few little details that show you this is not a 408P oder 408M. Experts will see that the car is a little bit lower, for everybody else there is just the small badge at the rear. Normally you would expect a GT to have two doors, but Gaubert still kept the shape of the limosines. As you enter the car pure luxury smashes your face. The light beige wild leather seats are handcrafted and the sound of the 8 Track is ginormous. The 4.0l V8 has a beautiful sound as well but isn’t much louder than the limos. It has a lot more power though. With 285 HP it is more than a hundred horses stronger than the tamer 4.0 and starts to blow your brain after 2800/min. You can take it to 100 kph in just 6 seconds and it just stops flying at 250 kph. The ride is a very unique as this very big car has a wheelbase of just 2,30m. In citys this fact can save you a lot of trouble because you can actually corner. If you drive it fast it is as oversteery as you would expect it to be. But let’s see what it’s up against:
Gaubert - 408GT.car (26.9 KB)
1973 Dondo GT 12
Dondo being one of the rather few Italian luxury brands not building sports cars, 1973 something strange happened. With the release of the 1973 Dondo L 12 there were two more cars on the stage. The coupe always looked a little bit sportier than the limosines from Dondo but in fact they weren’t. Ferrucio Dondo always said that there are enough fast Italian cars - until 1973. Suddenly there were more than 200 HP even in the L 12. In the GT 12 and the bonkers race version R 12 are getting over 300 HP from the newly built 6.5l V12 and more than 450Nm after 1800/min. The wine red interieur with the golden elements gives a royal feeling and the howl of the V12 always reminds you that you can fly this ship to 100 kph in just six seconds and shoots further until you hit 240 kph. Where the R 12 takes corners incredibly great, the GT 12 compromises a lot of cornering speed due to the comforty suspension - oversteer galore.
Dondo - GT 12.car (29.7 KB)
Now let’s see which one does its job better:
1. You need to get to Switzerland very fast or something terrible will happen - they will force you to - I can’t even say it - oh it hurts so much! - force you to pay - pay taxes! These monsters want to take millions from you - year after year after year. So in which car are you faster in Switzerland?
On the straight roads the Gaubert has 10 kph more top speed but there are corners left, so how does it look here? We tested both of them on the Automation Test Track and were quite surprised to see the Gaubert faster in every sector. At the end the Gaubert made a 2:31,31 so he’s half a second faster than the Dondo with 2:31,78. So if you need to get to Switzerland quickly, you should take the Gaubert.
So now we need to know how much paper you can get inside.
The Dondo has a cargo volume of 553l which is 47% more than the 376l of the Gaubert.
As an investment banker you don’t have a lot of time so why not combining the necessary with some pleasure. In which car does the girl have more space to kneel?
In the Gaubert the girl has to be 10% smaller because the passenger volumes in the Gaubert is smaller (2080l) than in the Dondo (2270l). Don’t forget the Gaubert is built on a 2.3m wheelbase and it’s quite large for that fact
A banker without his cocaine is like a car without an engine, so where can you refuel yourself better and undistirbed?
Everybody knows it - everybody has already felt the same. You put the line in front of you and suddenly - road bump. Cocaine flying all around and if you are really unlucky you hit your nose on the dashboard. So let’s have a coke test on the bumpy country road. The hydropneumatic suspension in the Gaubert has a spring rate of 1.22Hz and a damper frequency of 0.3. The whole car gets a comfort rating of 46.5. Even though the Dondo alsmost has the same suspension settings it gets a little bit less of suspension rating in the detailed stats than the Gaubert. The rest of the car is a little bit more comforty to get it to a comfort rating of 50.3. Because the suspension of the Gaubert was a little bit better and the comfort of the Dondo was higher this is a draw.
When you don’t have time and really need to get from A to B the Gaubert is a little bit faster. But as long as the authorities don’t know what you are doing exactly earning your money you can enjoy the decadence a little bit better in the Dondo. As there cars aren’t very different it is the taste of the buyer that decides whether France or Italy - whether V8 or V12.
Here are the other Dondos and Gauberts if you are interested. =)
(Tip: Take the Dondo R 12 for a spin on the Hiroshi Raceway short layout in BeamNG)
Alright man, it’s a great review and all, but I never hired anyone to review, yet. Like, if I was hiring reviewers and you were chosen, I’d be cool with it, but I wasn’t hiring. I’m not forcing you out but I want you to delete your review as I never asked for another review as of right now. Even though it’s a public and, I feel like you should somewhat treat it as a real life company. You can’t really barge in a company and do some work for them when you aren’t hired.
Basically, WheelHub not open for reviews from anyone currently. If it is, I’ll make an announcement about it.