FRED CREEPING THE LIBRARY
PRELUDE
The following day Fred headed to the library. "Fewer distractions there" - he thought. In reality he just wanted to see the cute librarian with the black framed glasses. Perhaps she'd be impressed if she glanced at his monitor when a nice render was up. Fred chose a table in a quiet corner, opened his laptop, and settled in for the next round of evaluations.
"Something Sensible" by BRM
@AMuteCrypt
Design: First up is a car called “Something Sensible”. Fred was intrigued. What greeted him on the screen was a blue/green pearlescent 356 with blue/black rims. Fred couldn’t look away. For all the wrong reasons. “No, no, I don’t want a kitchy tuner car!” - was his immediate reaction. All-right, perhaps the paint could be negotiated. Perhaps. When Fred finally got past the paint, he began to look at the car’s design. On the front almost nothing changed from the original. The lights are swapped to modern fixtures, but that is about it. On the side Fred spotted the new door handles, mirros, and the rims… oh why doesn’t the rim colour don’t match the rest of the car? Before he got distracted by the colour choices again, he quickly moved to the rear of the car. The rear was rather… empty looking. The light fixtures have been switched to a modern assembly that doesn’t quite suit the car. And other than the bumper, the rear is plain - the engine cover vents are removed, and the car doesn’t even have an exhaust tip. Moving to the inside Fred is greeted by cavernous emptiness. Such a shame.
Driving character: Fred quickly moved on to look at the car’s stats to see if it could redeem itself. This car promises to have the best drivability of the entire line-up. The front-mounted (!) I6 turbo (!) is rather smooth, the adv. auto and electric variable power steering help to operate the car with minimal effort and fuss, and the LSD combined with ESC put the power down on the road in a very predicable manner. Despite the plethora of driving aids, the car still retains an acceptable amount of sportiness, perhaps helped by the car’s performance and active sport suspension. Overall, Fred was very impressed with the driving character of the car.
Equipment: Fred moved on to the included equipment. He already noted the plethora of driving aids and top-notch mechanical bits. On top of all that, the car’s interior promises to be very plush as well. Fred is impressed to see that BRM wants to fit a very high-quality luxury interior and luxury HUD, making this the most comfortable offering. Fred also noted the flow-optimized undertray - a possible bragging point with his track buddies. Fred feels that this car is also top of the line when it comes to prestige. That plus-quality luxury interior is just perfect, and the I6 does carry a little bit of prestige with it.
Performance: Fred put on his headphones, but once again he had to turn on the volume. That I6 does have a nice rumble down low, if only you could hear it! As the engine revs the turbo whine kick in. So overall Fred was not too taken by the sounds of the car. On the other hand, the power output of the engine at 242 HP is very nice indeed, and probably just about in Fred’s ideal range for this car. The car is pretty fast in a straight line: 5.8s 0-100 km/h and an electronically limited top speed of 300 km/h. Fred was more than satisfied to see such figures. What was a little less optimal though were the skinny tires (175s all around) and no aero whatsoever, leaving the car pretty weak in the corners. Fred predicted an ATT lap time of 2:39 for himself - not the fastest, but more than adequate. The brakes and suspension are both quite well tuned too. In other words, Fred thinks this is a pretty solid showing.
Price: At $49800 the BRM slots in right under the cost cap. Where this car really shines are the predicted service costs of $1180 and a fuel consumption of 6.3 l/100 km. Reliability is average. Fred is quite impressed, especially with the service costs - that’s practically a steal!
Questionable stuff and other notes: There is really not too much Fred noted in this category. The tires are rather skinny for the power this car delivers. The rear brakes are more powerful than the fronts (not a huge issue with an effective ESC system, but still). Other than that, Fred was quite impressed with a very sensible build.
Fred’s quick notes: Unfortunately I can’t get over the paint choice and unfinished design. Definitely not my thing. Looks like the engineering department did their job, but the design department gave up halfway through. Shame really, because the engineering is actually superb on this car. Highest drivability, highest comfort, highest prestige of all entries. I just really really don’t ever want to be seen driving it.
Porsche blob thingy by Reduit Shed Department
@kobacrashi
Design: To cleanse his eyes, Fred moved on to the next proposal by Reduit. A ‘blob thingy’. After reading the name Fred was starting to think that this was some spam email -surely it cannot be a serious proposal. Not easily deterred, Fred decided to give it a chance, despite the name. Once time image loaded, Fred was pleasantly surprised. The dark greenish-blue paintjob was right up his alley. Zooming in on the front he noted subtle but tasteful modifications to the original 356: new light fixtures, bumper, and lip. Moving to the side, a similar theme continued with a nice side vent with blinker, retro-modern mirrors, fender flares and skirt. Moving around the back Fred could see the harmony of the car with the tasteful but minor improvements. The upturned exhaust tips sure are interesting albeit a bit brash. The only detail not exactly to Fred’s liking is the spoiler, otherwise it is a very well executed and coherent design front to back. So far so good. Moving to the inside, Fred was greeted with a beige interior that didn’t show too much detail, but looked nice nonetheless.
Driving character: Fred was happy to see a 6-spd DCT and electric variable power steering, and electric LSD and ESC. “This car should surely be easy to drive” - he thought. However, when he looked at the predicted stats, the car only promised mediocre drivability. Delving deeper, Fred found several culprits: the poor throttle response, crazy turbo kick, and the car is practically slammed to the ground with only 1.4 degree roll. Sure seems more like a thoroughbred race car, backed up by the predicted above average sportiness. The pushrod front suspension, fibreglass body, and active sports springs further reinforce this notion for Fred. “So perhaps not a very good cruiser” - he thought.
Equipment: This car brings it in the driving aids department, and the DCT is noted as a very welcome feature. However, moving to the cockpit, the car only has a premium interior and premium infotainment - both proving to be sub-par in this line-up. Between the lower-tier interior of the car, the race-y suspension, this car is the second most uncomfortable in the bunch. Certainly not something he could take the ladies for a nice cruise in. Unfortunately, there is also not much to brag about in this car, and it has the lowest prestige of all. Besides the underwhelming equipment, the engine is a 723 cc I6 (read coffee grinder). Fred fears that if he shows up at the track with this, he’ll be laughed at mercilessly.
Performance: Since Fred just made note of the engine, it’s time to move on to the performance of the car. The tiny I6 makes 142 HP. Fred is impressed that such a small engine can make this amount of power, but it is still the weakest of the whole line-up. Not to mention, it comes at the cost of poor engine response. Fred was so surprised by this whole engine affair, that he almost forgot to listen to the audio clip provided for the car. Well… it idles at some 1700 RPM and has a redline of 10700 RPM. Unsurprisingly, it sounds like a motorcycle engine. An R6 perhaps. And it’s pretty loud too. Anyway, moving on Fred noted the decent cornering of the car helped by its many aero bits. In his hands this car will do 2:37 around the ATT - so very middle of the pack.
Price: Upfront this car maxes out Fred’s budget of $50,000. Service costs are very good at $1295. Unfortunately, due to the broken engine, fuel economy is unknown, and Fred cannot make an accurate determination what this car actually would cost him. Another major negative factor here is the lowest reliability of the whole line-up.
Questionable stuff and other notes: The race suspension tune is definitely too much for Fred. Fibreglass seems a little scary. The aero doesn’t prevent terminal oversteer, further terrifying Fred. Speaking of aero Fred notes that the car seems to have a lot of aero bits on the car, and that is certainly something he does not want ( reason #1). The engine also seems to be broken ( reason #2). Oh, and Fred also raised an eyebrow at the extreme tire stagger: 155 fronts and 215 rears; and the 1.4 degree roll angle.
Fred’s quick notes: Good looks. Not very enamoured by some engineering choices. I’ll move on quickly.
Lonestar Labs "Hell's Angel" 356
@Texaslav
Design: Next, Fred opened Lonestar’s proposal called ‘Hell’s Angel’. Certainly an ominous name that immediately put Fred on edge. He had a bad encounter once with a leather-clad biker at a bar who mocked his Hawaiian shirt. Perhaps it’s because Fred was talking to his girl, but we’ll never know the real reason… Anyway. Fred was greeted by a beautiful burgundy coloured render of the 356. Looking at the front, Fred saw that the fascia still retains its original character, but is modernized with upgraded fixtures and bumper. The side is also modestly updated with new mirrors, fender flares and a large air intake in front of the rear wheels. The rear of the car is also tastefully laid out with a light bar reminiscent of more modern Porsche offerings, and a skinny wing. This car brings so far the largest change to the bodywork: it includes a small T-top cutout above the doors. Fred particularly loved this change to the original car: he could have a semblance of driving “with the top off”. Peeking inside, Fred is blown away by the level of detail this proposal includes. Not only is it impressive -it is quite nice looking too.
Driving character: That car should have pretty good drivability thanks to the 7-spd DCT, electric variable power steering, geared LSD and ESC. Not the easiest to drive of the bunch, but more than acceptable. Even the very minor wheelspin and brake fade don’t detract much from the driving experience, although the brake fade does take a little off the sportiness. Not that that is a huge issue, because this car promises to also be quite sporty - second of the bunch. Fred likes how this car strikes a healthy balance between the two criteria.
Equipment: Fred takes a look at the inside specs of the car. He sees that this is the first car to feature a sports interior. Certainly more unique among the other premium or luxury offerings. The premium HUD adds a very welcome modern touch to the dash too. Despite these elements, the car’s comfort is only about average. Perhaps the passive springs let it down a little among the other active-sprung cars. Perhaps it is the low aspect tires, or the grippy brakes, or the loudness (it’s tied for loudest car in the line-up). Either way, Comfort is adequate, but nothing special. Prestige, however, is very good. Fred muses that with the prestige he will be able to lure in the ladies… and once they are in the car they won’t care anymore about the comfort. Maybe.
Performance: The Hell’s Angel features a modern 3.2L B6 engine producing 327 HP - both please Fred a lot. In fact, this is the second most powerful car in the line-up. The sound is less throaty than the B4 (a bit of a shame in Fred’s opinion), but it does sound a lot sportier. So it’s a bit of a toss-up, but definitely not a negative mark for this car. Fred is very impressed by the 3.5 s 0-100 km/h acceleration, and equally impressed by the g-forces during hard cornering. This car is quite the rocket! The top speed is electronically limited to 270 km/h. It’s therefore not the fastest car, by far - but realistically, this is not a problem for Fred. When would he go that fast anyway? Looking at the predicted track time, Fred would do a 2:17 around the ATT, which is the fastest of all cars on offer. Very very impressive indeed! It just shows that the Hell’s Angel nailed the balance between raw power and handling for Fred.
Price: At $49900, this car nearly maxes out Fred’s initial budget. Service costs are about average at $1613, but fuel consumption is very good at 6.7 l/100 km. Reliability is a stand-out for this car: breakdowns will be very rare indeed, further reducing predicted future costs. Overall, Fred was quite pleased with these figures.
Questionable stuff and other notes: Fred feels like he has to nitpick a little… the brakes show minor fade under hard sport driving conditions. Nothing overly concerning, but could easily be mitigated with slightly larger discs. Otherwise, there is nothing Fred could think of to call out.
Fred’s quick notes: T-top! Looks pretty good. Great attention to detail. It’s exceptionally fast around a track and even I can push it to its limits! Could be more comfortable. Cheap to maintain. Will take a second look.
W Design P35 Rennausrustung
@ldub0775
Design: “What?! Where is my 356?” - Fred said just a little too loudly in the quiet library. The librarian came over to see if everything is all-right, but Fred could just dumbly point at his screen. “That’s a nice car” - the librarian said. Fred was too flustered to even respond; he just stared at the screen silently for a few minutes. Once Fred regained his composure, he started to really appreciate this design. The design studio obviously put a lot of work into this render. The proposal is to completely strip the car bare and replace all of the body work with a modern Porsche-esque hull. There is no reason to go front to back on this one, Fred decided. He just has to take it all in first. It’s a nice, low-slung car with an elegant ‘wave’ moving along the shoulder. The side profile is very sexy. The wing is rather large, but somehow still suits the overall design. The enormous rear diffuser is another Fred-favourite on this car. Overall, the car exudes an aura of ‘track monster’. Fred is already envisioning all the attention he’ll get driving this car down the boulevard - people would have no clue what they are seeing and will want a second look or even strike up a conversation. Looking on the inside, Fred sees a rather plain interior, but it gives him an idea of what it might look like at least.
Driving character: Being a track monster, this car predictably doesn’t have the best drivability. Not bad, just average. The 7-spd DCT, electric variable power steering, electric LSD and ESC certainly help this car too, but a bit of a turbo kick and a very sporty suspension tune take away some drivability points. On the other hand, this car is the sportiest by far of the entire bunch. Yes, it is indeed a true track monster. Accordingly, it is tied for being the loudest and has active sport springs. True to a sports car, Fred also sees that the car has better cornering at speed than in slow corners. Yes, this one needs to be driven fast - if he only dared or could last more than two laps before getting a back ache.
Equipment: Fred is getting a little bored by now as this car joins the long list of proposed cars with a premium interior and premium infotainment. Fred has now seen that more luxurious and comfortable offerings can be fitted in the 356, so this doesn’t impress him much. As with the other cars with the DCT, he notes that this is a very nice feature to have. The bottom of the car is fully clad, which is neat, but there have also been cars with much cooler undertrays already. The only real stand-out that this car offers compared to the others are magnesium rims - Fred does think this is a very cool option. Such an extreme car definitely deserves them. In the end, Fred does a tally and finds that the car is by far the least comfortable of all, and prestige is only mediocre despite the magnesium rims. It looks cool, but Fred is not sure if that is enough to carry the car. Perhaps its performance matches its looks?
Performance: Fred opens the engine stats and sees that this monster retains the original B4 of the 356. He had expected some monstrous engine in this one, but no. The engine has been significantly modernized however, and a turbo is fitted, so it cranks out 216 HP. In this line-up, that is just about average. Listening to the audio, Fred hears his beloved B4 rumble low down. It is barely muffled too, providing a full spectrum audio experience. Higher up, however, the turbo whine kicks in killing some of the pure exhaust notes. Diving deeper, Fred notes that the car’s top speed is aero-limited to just under 300 km/h. This is quite a nice engineering feat and Fred admires this. No electronic limiter needed here! Looking at how this car gets off the line, Fred is not surprised but slightly disappointed that it is clearly beaten by two other cars in the line-up (granted, they have much more power), and is nearly matched by two others (both having slightly more power, so impressive here). In any case, 0-100 km/h is 4.4 s with the P35. Lastly, Fred’s track time is 2:21, second fastest behind the Hell’s Angel. Impressive, but clearly beaten by one other.
Price: Upfront, the car maxes out Fred’s budget at $50000. Service costs are second highest of the bunch at $1940. Fuel consumption is a pleasant surprise: it’s better than average at 7.3 l/100 km. Fred expected this track car to be more thirsty. The turbo and lean tune certainly helped out in this department. Reliability is about average. Overall, it looks like this car would be a little above average in overall costs.
Questionable stuff and other notes: 1.7 degrees roll angle is very low for a road car. Flipping to the suspension page, Fred’s eye is caught by something quite concerning. The car is so low to the ground that it actually bottoms out slightly.
Fred’s quick notes: Very uncomfortable. Very sporty. Expensive to maintain. Despite the sportiness, not the fastest of the bunch - so cannot justify the extreme looks. I don’t think I or anyone else would want to spend too much time in this car without making a chiropractic appointment first. It looks extremely cool, but just the looks cannot justify overlooking its other flaws; I will pass on this one. (Mental reminder: send kudos to the designers, they did an exceptional job on this car)
Porsche 356A M1N3
@Prium
Design: Opening the last proposal Fred couldn’t contain his delight! “Finally, a decapitated car!” - he nearly shouted with delight. Fred instantly got fidgety, which drew disapproving looks from the people around him. Fred was just getting too excited seeing a Cabrio among the submissions and decided to leave the library and finish this last review over a margarita down at the beach bar. The excitement was just too much… He packed up his laptop and bounded over to the bar. Once settled in with his drink, he was calm enough to finally get to the objective evaluation of the car. He hoped that it’s everything he hoped for! || First, Fred noted the beautiful dark blue paintjob. Up front, the car retains its classic 356 looks, but changes fixtures to retro-modern ones in a very tasteful way. The changes on the side are similar, subtle and tasteful. The riveted fender flares and the new vent over the rear wheel are particularly nice additions as they are implemented. Moving to the rear, this same cohesive theme continues with retro-modern touches replacing the original fixtures. The speedster top with the wing around the soft-top housing is beautifully done and a nice touch to the overall design. The interior is superbly detailed and matches the aesthetics of the car perfectly with modern features integrated into a retro design. Even the rims suit the car to a tee. Fred was simply enamoured with this car the moment he saw it, and this feeling only increased the more he looked at it. In Fred’s eyes this car just stands head and shoulders above the others - dare he say that when it comes to looks, this is pretty much exactly what he wanted?
Driving character: Opening up the stats sheets for the M1N3, reality came crashing down on Fred. The car doesn’t seem the easiest to drive… Not. At. All. This is a problem that caused some cognitive dissonance for Fred. But he tried to be as objective as he could while gathering the data. So, the car has a 7-spd adv auto gearbox, variable hydraulic power steering, geared LSD, and TC+ABS. Yes, Fred is a little disappointed as he looks back at other offerings in the line-up. Drivability is further hampered by a large turbo kick and a non-optimal suspension set-up. Sportiness too is on the low end of the spectrum. It seems like the adv. automatic gearbox doesn’t do enough to counteract the other flaws to make the car drivable, and at the same time hampers a sporty feeling. Overall, it’s a little disappointing for Fred, because he feels like this might not be the perfect cruiser that it promised to be with its looks.
Equipment: Fred noted that the above driving and traction aids are on the lower end of the spectrum in this line-up. Eager to move on and explore the car further, he was pleased to see a sports interior, but the premium infotainment was once again a little disappointing. The safety seems rather rudimentary too and doesn’t give Fred much confidence about his chance of survival in an accident. The semi-clad undertray is also nothing too special. Overall, Fred feels that this car really only has one thing to offer: it’s a cabrio. Accordingly, the car is not overly comfortable or prestigious, even if its prestige is inflated in Fred’s eyes being a cabrio. Neither comfort or prestige are the worst in the line-up, but just below average did not make Fred overly happy about this car.
Performance: More fittingly, the original engine has been retained in this car. It’s been fitted with a turbo and power output increased to 165 HP. This is on the low end, but Fred thinks this might just be enough. Moving on, Fred notes similar engine sounds here as for the P35: nice low rumble and a turbo whine up high. The volume is even almost the same for the two cars. Fred felt a little weird about this… how different the two cars look, but how similar they sound. The M1N3 probably has a slightly cleaner low range, but a more pronounce whine up high, probably due to the retention of the original OHV2 header in the case of the low range, and a louder twin-turbo with wastegate setup for the higher range. Very interesting nuance. Next, Fred took a look at the track performance. This car does 0-100 km/h in 7.5 seconds - not disastrously slow, but among the slowest in this bunch. Top speed is gear limited at 225 km/h. Fred feels like this might be a tad low, but given the other stats of the car, it’s not his biggest concern. Looking at the track time, Fred would do a 3:01 on the ATT - which puts him outright in the slowpoke category. As much as the cabrio strokes his ego, this result deflates his ego like a rabid woodpecker on a hot air balloon. Fred was by now nearing complete and utter dismay and cognitive dissonance was reaching its peak.
Price: Finally some good news entered Fred’s eyes: the upfront purchase price of this car is $47100. This is the cheapest by quite a margin. Service costs are above average though at $1826, and fuel economy is quite poor at 13.5 l/100 km. Reliability however is superb. So overall, this category is a wash in Fred’s eyes. All of this just leaves Fred with a very very difficult decision.
Questionable stuff and other notes: Lots of $$ left on the table; this could’ve easily been spent to improve drivability with e.g. electric variable power steering and ESC. 1.8 degrees of body roll is very low for a road car lowering comfort significantly. Vented discs in the rear are arguably not necessary, but would’ve been nice to have. Standard 80s safety is a little low in this line-up.
Fred’s quick notes: 1. It’s a Cabrio! 2. It’s a Cabrio! 3. A Cabrio it is! All right, it has its many flaws: subpar drivability, mediocre comfort, not the best equipped, slow… but it’s a cabrio. I simply cannot make a decision on this, my mind isn’t clear. That is enough reason to take another look at it. Worst case, I can print out a poster of it hang it up in the garage.
In complete confusion and with some trepidation Fred closed his computer, finished his drink and headed home. There are three cars that he wants to take another look at. This will be a very tough decision… Will Fred lose his mind trying to pick his favourite? Stay tuned for the final verdict.