"Hello, everyone! Welcome to tonight’s featured event at the Gasmean Luxury Expo '73 - the future of the luxury car. In the wake of much upheaval, the automotive industry’s luxury sector was asked the question - where do we go from here?
Tonight, we will present nine answers from some of industry’s top-shelf players to our panel of judges and to viewers like you, evaluate them in detail, and decide on a winner or two. I’m your host, Claudio Pizzigamorti. Tonight’s judges are…
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Duce, interior and exterior designer
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Setthim Barhaddhi, Assistant Chief Exterior Designer, Dalluha Coach & Motor Works
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Dr. Ing. Ursula Panzerstrudelüberprüfungsmeßermeier von Neunschwanzstein, Director of Engineering, Norðwagen GmbH
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Liat al-Shuqqur, Chief Interior QA Inspector, Dalluha Coach & Motor Works
Let’s start with a simpler question: what’s hot in Gasmea in 1973? Judging by our lineup, it seems that plush four-seater GTs (six of the nine entries) from Italy or Fruinia (seven of nine) are all the rage, the cat’s meow, the bee’s knees… or what is it they say in the Queen’s English? ‘The dog’s’- er… ‘the Queen’s bollocks’, is it? Anyway, what the nine lack in diversity, they make up for in consensus on a sub-type, and enlightening elaborative detail of what works for that sub-type and what doesn’t. The entries are all unanimous that the hegemony of the traditional land yacht sedan in the flagship role is over; not one of the nine is a sedan of any size or type. All are also unanimous in prioritizing interior quality to a hand-made specification (although quality of execution varies widely, as we’ll see). We’re pleasantly surprised to see in the remainder not one but two wagons, and an offroader.
In mechanicals, naturally aspirated V12 engines dominate, featured in six entries; the rest are an NA V8, a turbo V8 diesel, and a turbo H6. Displacements range from 3.1 to 7.0L, power outputs from 145 to 521hp. Architecture varies from iron/iron pushrods to full-alloy DOHC-4, fuel systems from dual twin-barrels to EFI with ITB, as well as the diesel. All but one have manual transmissions, and the one is a bit unexpected. All are front-engined. Seven are rear-wheel drive. one is front-drive and one 4x4. Solid axles and ladder frames are nowhere to be found; in fact, only one car had anything other than a unibody, or other than double-wishbone at both ends. Three entries used aluminium panels, and five used corrosion-resistant techniques. Seems there is industry consensus that a sturdy chassis with a sophisticated suspension is the way forward. We don’t disagree.
But enough about generalities for now; let’s see the cars! As with anyone approaching a car for the first time, our protocol will generally be in this order: exterior, interior, engineering and function. So without further ado, and in the order of team number…"
A massive curtain opened on the main stage. Drenched in spotlights and to literal fanfare from the live band at the venue, the first of nine cars drove slowly down the raised walkway and onto a large display platform, which then began to rotate.
Team 1. Zephorus Duoporte 4000GT
by @getwrekt01 and @riley
Claudio: "A Zephorus with input from Vector, the Duoporte GT4000 has a couple of unique features, but by and large exemplifies what emerged as the typical entry: Italian or Fruinian, manual rear-drive, four-seat two-door hardtop.
Advertised as “the pinnacle of performance and luxury”, with “powerful engineering” and “unmatched handling” delivering an “exhilarating driving experience” while maintaining luxury and comfort, this Grand Tourer promises to “elevate your driving experience to new heights.” Does it?"
Duce: "Zephorus brings us the Duoporte 4000GT, something we are happy to see enter production. If style is what you want then style is what you get, the Duoporte checks all the boxes. If this is the pinnacle, then count me in. From the straight faced no-nonsense front to the absolutely gorgeous rear end, the exterior of the Duoporte 4000GT is nothing short of amazing(minus the door handles that seem a bit low on the body), and sure to be talked about in all circles for years to come.
That’s just the exterior. Stepping inside you are greeted by an interior that demands respect. Up front you have beautiful 2-tone seats, a really nice 3-spoke chrome and woodgrain steering wheel with the Zephorus logo in the center, a very classy analog instrument panel, state of the art radio, casette and hvac controls. The time piece at the top of the dash doesn’t dissapoint either, it also lights up in that beautiful amber color from the instrument panel. The rear seating area is akin to sitting in a limousine. Trays in the back seats, map pockets and foot rests! A center armrest with cup holders, now that is amazing. And speaking of armrest, both the front and rear are leather stitched at the top and wood trimmed on the sides, very nice touch.
I grade the exterior 93, an A, and the interior a full A+ 100. Setthim, what do you think?"
Setthim: "The first impression is an unequivocal Yes. The stance is road-hugging yet dignified - a perfect blend of muscle and refinement. Cohesion is a strong point, with just about every visual feature in harmony with the others. In particular, the well-defined trim/molding line halfway up the lower body, even though it visually breaks behind the rear wheels and resumes at a different height, nonetheless has visual continuity with the rear bumper, tying it in with the front and establishing the car’s ample perimeter.
The rear is my second favorite part of the exterior design. It’s a tidy, functional, elegant arrangement of chrome lines, some negative space, excellent proportioning and visual alignment… with two exceptions. First, the crease of the concave molding wants to line up with the inner corner of the taillights, but doesn’t. Second, the exhaust pipes are, for this context of everything around them being trim, orderly, and orthogonal, a bit protrusive and angled sideways.
My single favorite part of the design is the panel behind each rear side window. This feature visually defines the car, and the talent that went into it is perhaps best illustrated by the multitude of things it reminds of: luxury yacht sails, a jet wing, Tudor buildings, a Japanese dojo, an enameled clock face. Or perhaps its effect is best described by the ambiguity it lends the greenhouse in terms of how upright it overall appears. It carries the legacy of yesteryear’s vinyl roof with opera windows, but leaves the frumpiness of same behind. Thus, it ties the whole design together and gives it strong and equal credentials in the sport and luxury worlds, which is precisely what the visuals of a GT car should do. Bravo!
Those panels, however visually striking, fail to hide the one wart in the Duoporte’s side view: as Duce mentioned, the door latches are strangely low.
Moving on to the front, we see that the slat motif from the rear bumper contours is echoed here, twice: in the grill as well as the front bumper. That right there is cohesion. More cohesion is achieved by the (decorative?) vent just outboard of the headlights. Like a small Forum in a town in Roman Gaul, it serves as a visual reminder to the empire’s periphery of the power and authority of the capital - namely, the C-pillar panels. Bravo again!
The slat theme continues on the hood. The cohesion manifested redeems the situation somewhat, but nonetheless the hood vents are a bit off - their angles clash with the contours of the hood, and while they aren’t out of place on this kind of car per se, they proclaim a rather lofty level of performance; it remains to be seen how true this advertising is.
I rate the exterior design at 90, an A-. Liat, what can you tell us about the interior?"
Liat approached the rotating display stand, reached down with conspicuous effort to the door latches just above knee level, and opened the driver’s door, its window having already been rolled down to show off its frameless design. Not getting in just yet, she ducked her head inside, looking all around with obvious though not unequivocal pleasure.
“Visually, this is mostly splendid. The request called for equal attention to interior looks as exterior, and the Zephorus/Vector team delivered. Nearly everything is covered in tobacco-colored leather, most of it very smooth and fine-grained. The main exceptions are the seat inserts, which are a similar material but corduroy-stitched, and the wood, which is a generic but very appropriate walnut burl finished in high-gloss clearcoat. The wood adorns the dashboard, the steering wheel, parts of the center armrest, and the automatic shifter.”
Claudio: “Automatic? But this is a manual.”
Liat: “The shifter goes front to back, says PRNDL, and there are two pedals. Now, I’m just Interior, not Engineering, but…”
Ursula: “The spec sheet says it’s a manual. Let me see for myself.”
While Ursula made her way from the judges’ booth to the car, Liat continued: “Anyway, the leather is a pleasing, well-chosen color, complementing the deep red paint very well. It’s used in such quantity that the smell might be a deal-maker or -breaker, more likely the former. However, it even covers the floor, which I can tell you, as someone who designs these for a living: this isn’t going to last with any kind of real use. Within a year of being actually driven in anything other than silk slippers, it’s going to look like an old baseball glove. Thanks to the floor mats, at least it’ll just be in a few spots, but really - a leather floor?”
Ursula approached the display with a flashlight, shone it at the underside of the car, squinted for a moment, and announced: “Yes, it appears to be a manual. How it shifts I have no idea. Can someone find the driver who put it here? Sorry for the interruption, Liat, back to you.”
Liat nodded, and began to get in but suddenly paused, looking bewildered. “Now, this is rather bizarre: somehow, there are parts of the engine coming through the floorpan. What on earth?!” Ursula, upon hearing this, about-faced and proceeded to return to the display.
Liat: "Needless to say, we have a few questions for the development team. Meanwhile, to wrap up on the interior, there are four overall points to be made. The esthetics are excellent all around, with my single favorite detail being the classy brand name embroidery on the headrests. Second, the functional layout is overall very good; armrests are reasonably close to symmetrical, controls are simply and intuitively located. Third, features and amenities are mostly as expected in this segment - wood, leather, headrests, armrests, power windows, air conditioning, fold-down tables and footrests in the back, and the techpool choice of +10 Interior is put to good use, offering a state-of-the-art luxury-grade cassette player. Fourth, I must respectfully but emphatically disagree with Duce’s comparison of limousine-like seating; well-appointed as the interior is, there’s no escaping that for a four-seater, it’s simply too small. The press photos show a lovely and ample rear passenger compartment, but were obviously taken with the front seats all the way forward, and even then the footrests are rather notional. With the front seats at a reasonable position for an average-legged driver, the rear seats are unuseable except by small children.
The interior looks I score at 88, B+, the ergonomics - considering it’s a coupe, excusing the rear seats - at 85, B."
Claudio: “And now, we turn to our Engineering specialist to evaluate how well this all actually works. Ursula?”
Ursula had been quietly puzzling over the engine parts embedded in the floorpan. She stood up, shook her head as if to throw off cobwebs of utter confoundment, and returned to the judge’s booth.
Ursula: "Certainly. But first, some context - the Expo called for avant-garde concepts that may or may not make it to commercial production, and by the standards of what’s actually produced today in 1973, the Duoporte is fairly competitive. However, by the standards of its competition here, it’s underwhelming at best. I’m not so familiar with Vector, but by the standards of Zephorus’ reputation for pushing performance boundaries, the engineering of the Duoporte is surprisingly conservative, and the results middling to mediocre. Before I elaborate, I’d also like to express regret at raining on the parade when it’s hardly even started, but I’m an engineer and a Hetvesian, and neither is prone to BS or to coddle.
For starters, the space frame construction weighs more, costs more, and is in virtually every way inferior to a unibody. Moving along, the semi-trailing rear is certainly adequate, and saves meaningful engineering costs, but these are hardly desiderata given the expectations of buyers at this price point. Standard non-progressive springs and narrow yet staggered medium-compound tires simply don’t make sense. The disadvantages of these engineering choices are in places mitigated by the quality of their tuning, but it’s hit and miss at best. The suspension rates, for instance, are set carefully, but swaybars and alignment failed to get the same attention. Meanwhile, the brakes are something approaching well-balanced, but with the worst fade of any entry, and the longest stopping distance of any car entries (only the SUV was sightly longer). However the transmission is operated, it uses some improbable ratios with an awkward spread: first and second gear are tire-roasters without careful throttle control, then fourth runs out just over 200kph, leaving an extra-tall overdrive gear to reluctantly pull the GT4000 to an unimpressive 235kph top speed, third lowest.
The engine, an oversquare 4.0 iron/alu SOHC-4 V8 called simply “,” - that is, a comma - is reasonably well-tuned and well-balanced, offering a smooth, linear, medium-hot cammed torque curve for 286hp. Though the chosen fuel system techpool option allowed EFI, the Comma uses MFI. The mid-standard intake and individual throttle bodies are unusual, but the combination of quiet and responsive is actually appropriate here. The techpool could’ve been applied to further increase quality, but only +5 was used out of +10. The result is third slowest in a km, third thirstiest, and yet average engine reliability.
All that would be more than forgivable if it brought other strengths, or were an inherent price to pay for what the car is or does, or if the engineering and performance weren’t trumpeted as main selling points. But sadly, none of those is the case. Drivability is third lowest, as are Comfort (81.4 corrected) and Prestige. It’s designed to be a luxurious GT, yet the “unmatched handling”, in addition to the brakes I mentioned above, is based on a measly 0.69g at most, weaker than any other entry except the SUV. The only consolation is that this is by some margin the least expensive entry, at $51300. That doesn’t go very far in bragging rights or compensation, though. As I’ve always said, Cheap makes Good Better, but doesn’t subsitute for it.
It’s a shame to start the show on this note, but I think all the judges can agree that it’s our duty to be honest above all. With that in mind, say what you will about visuals (personally, I quite like them, apart from the engine parts in the floor) but as engineering and performance go, the claims made in the advert - unmatched pinnacles of this and that - range from Charitable to Laughable. The Show’s not bad, but the Go doesn’t keep up. To answer the question posed above: No."
Engineering concept: 70, C-
Engineering execution: 75, C
Judges’ total score: 506
While Ursula was talking, meanwhile a Zephorus or Vector employee had snuck quietly onto the display, and before anyone could react, started the car and drove it quickly away. The transmission would unfortunately remain a mystery.
