ooc: I think 3 on the madness scale would be appropiate.
For the record, the answer to Clarkson’s opener question was “Well, there is no problem a hammer cannot fix, is there?”, which was an answer Jezza would probably understand. He did not take a drive in his Felicia, since Hamster got to her first, and Clarkson decided to go to Leonardo.
After the Leo’s estate incident, Jack got himself a taste of some British cuisine. And after the lunch, he handed the keys to Stig. “Treat her well.”
I think Enry is one of the “boy scouts” being the calm and tolerant CEO of a company known for making mostly sensible and reliable cars, but he too has a little spark of crazy inside him, that’s the reason why he joined this. Madness scale: around 1.5-2
Niall is a 3 on average, despite these extravagant and insane cars he enjoys building for challenges his company and mindset are about reliable long lasting cars.
[quote=“strop”]Considering everything, your existence is actually rather refreshing. I think the breakdown of characters here is approximately as follows:
Boy scouts: 5
A little bit loose: 13
Party animals: 8
Completely bonkers: 2[/quote]
[OOC]
I am totally Scout material!!!
[BIC] Kristina watched the TG cast arrive. One of her favorite shows, despite Captain Slow and Clarkson being a part of it. Her car would not impress either of them. It was American built. In fact, it would downright soil both of their pants by Willson. Richard, on the other hand, was her car’s type, though he wouldn’t recognize it until he drove it. It was an American car which he loved. It was a supercar engine tuned beyond belief and turbocharged. And it was virtually undrivable! After the segments were completed, she approached him.
“I love you!,” she exclaimed. “I apreciate your own skill evaluation. Your infantile disregard for obvious danger until it finally presents itself. And you’re just plain beautiful.” She pulled him to her, layed a kiss on him so his wife would be jealous, and then tossed him over her shoulder in a Fireman’s Carry. Of course he screamed about her being a crazy bitch while kicking his feet and flailing his arms about wildly. She took him to the drivers seat of the E30 and dropped him into the seat. “I’m going to pay you to drive this thing like you stole it. No cameras. No commentary. Of course that is entirely your choice.”
The Hamster looked up at the dirty blonde, still clad in full leathers and combat boots. “Who in the bloody hell are you? And what do you mean, ‘Pay me’?”
“I am Kristina Swanson, the owner of Swanson Motorsports Engineering in Atlanta, Georgia. I built this beast you’re sitting in.” She smirked. His eyes actually got wider, if that were even possible. “I am offering you 100k€ to make 15 laps on this. Start slow and learn the car. Every sequential lap has to be faster or you’ll only get 1k€ and it will be over. What do you say?”
Richard looked her as if she were mad (which she was), thought a moment, and began to reply. As he started to speak, Clarkson spoke up instead. “You’ve GOT to do it, and on camera!” A classic Clarkson shit-eating grin followed. Hamster agreed, and they all laughed.
[OOC] I will finish this in a bit. Feeling a little rough and attempting this on an iPhone, which took a little over an hour. 
Ditto.
I just wanted to test my new car against the crazy that is everyone else.
[quote=“rileybanks”]
Ditto.
I just wanted to test my new car against the crazy that is everyone else.[/quote]
Couldn’t have put it better myself. I had forgotten about this competitions, then I saw Pleb’s stream in which he made his car. I decided to do a more powerful engine, after that I quickly built a car around it. I chose the estate body because I never thought I’d do as well as this is going. I am not the most prolific writer, so I didn’t join the role-playing part. And thinking about it, I’d make a pretty Mansell character of myself, ie incredibly dull, without all the imagination flourishes that you guys write here.
(IC) Offered the keys to Hamster and May and pretended Jezza wasnt there
And strop… in case you need it S.M.III is a meduim complexion man of 1.77 M height and he looks like a mediterranean person… except he sports a full beard dark blonde hair… and loves sportcoats if such coats are flamboyant much better
Delighted to see the 3 elders from the best show…in the world… i went for a handshake.
My car (i answered). Testis!
-"U called your car testis? (asked Clarkson)
What kind off sick person are u? (asked James)
"Oh God, and it gets even worse! (Hammond laughing.)
"Are u a drunk person? And what’s that smell?? (Asked James…)
After all, they spotted my collection of Gin bottles, and my collection of insects, bugs, beetles, and whatever was crunchy and tasteful found in the road, in the roaster. After explained to them that “those” were going to be my lunch, we went for a toast!
Cheers!
And all 4 of us made an ugly terrible face, as the Gin went down in our throats!
Seeing the Brimstone, Clarkson asked “Is this just another silly hot hatch with 300+hp?” - “Well, it’s got a lot more power than that”, Tom said. - “So you mean 400hp or more in that thing? From an austrian car company i’ve never heard of?” - “Well, you’ll remember our company till the end of time after driving this one, i can guarantee that”, Tom answered with a self confident smile on his face as he handed Clarkson the keys. “Relax, it’s just another hot hatch, only a little bit faster than the others. It’ll be a walk in the park”, Clarkson said as he went over to the car and got into it. “Where do i turn the traction control off?” - “There’s no such thing in this car”, Tom said with a grin on his face that grew wider when Jeremy mumbled “can’t be that bad then” before closing the door.
Leaving the longest black lines and the biggest cloud of smoke in the history of Top Gear (yet), Clarkson went for a drive in the super-powered RWD Brimstone. May and Hammond just stood there with their mouths wide open as they couldn’t believe that a hatchback could ever be this powerful. Clarkson returned with an extraordinarily pale face and wet pants. The sight said more than even Jeremy could ever say. Also, it now smelled terrible inside the Brimstone. Noticing that, Tom said “well… you’re gonna clean this, and make sure it doesn’t smell like this any more”.
@thetom: having seen that pants wetting performance, Hamster just HAD to have a go.
@8bs: FINALLY, THE PUNCHLINE IS DELIVERED. Only took 5 rounds for someone to make mention of your awful naming choices 
@kristina: were you being sarcastic when you ranked yourself boy scout? Because that definitely earns you madness points!
[quote=“strop”]@thetom: having seen that pants wetting performance, Hamster just HAD to have a go.
@8bs: FINALLY, THE PUNCHLINE IS DELIVERED. Only took 5 rounds for someone to make mention of your awful naming choices
@kristina: were you being sarcastic when you ranked yourself boy scout? Because that definitely earns you madness points![/quote]
I don’t understand the question. You don’t think I am courageous, confident, and have character? (The Girl Scout qualities) 
Are Boy Scout qualities different?
Oh, and I’m not sure if I am up to finishing my RP tonight. Maybe we can disregard or you can run with it?
Jezza approached the Cottam Elegance DA.
“Well, here she is, looks as crazy as it feels.” I beamed at the car.
“Haha, umm, did your bonnet fly off on the way here or something?” Jeremy joked, Aaron greeted the snide remark with a half-hearted giggle. The same reply anyone got when they joked at anything of his.
“Just get in and you’ll see some action.”
Jeremy clambered in and started the engine. His jaw dropped as his ears were filled with an eruption of mechanical madness. “What did you DO to this?!” He was mortified, but in a good way. The sound of the car only hinted at the kind of power this thing was pushing. He timidly rolled away from the gang of cars and drivers, and set off for his review.
“Now. This piece of witchcraft is a creation built by a small company called Cottam Auto Group, based in the Isle of Man - a place I know and love, and also a place notorious for it’s love of speed. And it definitely shows in this car.” Clarkson jabbed the accelerator and the turbo spooled and the car lurched forward at a rate clearly surpassing anything he’d driven before.
“OH MY GOD! MUMMY! How did my life come to this?! This thing is going to kill me! One hundred and seventy miles an hour… one ninety… two hundred… two TEN! I can’t do it, I’ve got to slow down.” Jeremy did so, breathlessly.
“Ha ha, oh dear. This thing is really something… I’m lucky not to have wet my pants there. Now they say that this beast can actually reach speeds in excess of two hundred and FORTY miles an hour. No. Not fourteen. FORTY. That’s Veyron territory! The idea for this car, and for this league in general, must have been a result of someone getting stoned off their head. Or dropped on their head.” Jeremy had to shout over the noise of the engine, just as if he was in a fully-fledged race car.
“I really don’t know why they called this the Elegance. I mean, it may have the body of a sophisticated luxury sedan, but the rest of it looks like it was designed by a five-year-old with no hands. And it’s uncomfortable, it’s noisy, it’s horribly impractical, and it weighs more than my house!”
“Essentially, this is a huge ‘luxury’ barge, with a large six-cylinder engine stuffed into it, with a massive turbo to boot. So this thing certainly doesn’t do subtle.” At just the right moment, Jeremy aptly swung the car full-force into the Hammerhead, and speared off in a flurry of tyre smoke.
There is a shot of the car shooting down the runway in a panoramic view.
“This car stands for one thing, and one thing only. Speed. It can’t stand for anything else. And that’s why we love it.
You’d have to be bonkers to drive this car. And if this car was sitting on your driveway, you’d be bonkers if you didn’t.”
And the footage fades to black in true TG review fashion.
[OOC] I actually spent over 2 hours writing a segment for this RP, and as I hit submit, Windows 8 did that thing where it said my connection was limited, and it didn’t submit. So this is actually just an attempt to rewrite the RP from memory, and I think I nailed most of the main things. Just very annoying .
As for the madness scale thing, I’d say right now I’m at a 2. I may still go on a mentalist journey at some point, or I wouldn’t mind turning a bit mad in a scene written by someone else, I’ll just roll with whatever happens in this mad rollercoaster of strange and amazing shit. But right now I’m just writing as if I’m just like I am in real life, as I’ve never done any RP before, or even wrote any proper story before.
Oh and one more thing, I’m loving the little fun facts and stats every now and then Strop!
(OOC) I may need May or Hamster to hop into my monster…
@ manche: I take it you mean to review. I’ll put something in!
@kristina: take your time. I’m going to run with this a day longer due to outstanding response (looks like some of you have just been itching to emulate their style, it’s great, I can just imagine them saying stuff like that).
@pleb: no pressure, just be whoever you are and what comes natural, its the best way of going about things. Honestly I kind of wanted my characters to be madder but they got more sensible as time went on! Had this been taking place maybe two years back when they were just starting out, then it might have been a different story…
[quote=“strop”]@ manche: I take it you mean to review. I’ll put something in!
@kristina: take your time. I’m going to run with this a day longer due to outstanding response (looks like some of you have just been itching to emulate their style, it’s great, I can just imagine them saying stuff like that).
@pleb: no pressure, just be whoever you are and what comes natural, its the best way of going about things. Honestly I kind of wanted my characters to be madder but they got more sensible as time went on! Had this been taking place maybe two years back when they were just starting out, then it might have been a different story…[/quote]
Thanks horsie… have a carrot
I think I’m a solid 9.5
[quote=“strop”]@thetom: having seen that pants wetting performance, Hamster just HAD to have a go.
@8bs: FINALLY, THE PUNCHLINE IS DELIVERED. Only took 5 rounds for someone to make mention of your awful naming choices
@kristina: were you being sarcastic when you ranked yourself boy scout? Because that definitely earns you madness points![/quote]
As we can see, the name is very discreet indeed!
Btw, yeah 8 fits perfectly! It means that i can drink one more bottle per day, and the appetizers help me to maintain some sanity.
Why do you need “sanity”??? It’s completely overrated.
To avoid the Madhouse :3
and by the way…
youtube.com/watch?v=uGHsxMqpL0c
I see many BSLL racers there after is all over