“I got the perfect car for you. It’s got seating for 6 and a V8 that will scare away any of the 4s or 6s that come near you.”
5 Likes
Submissions are now closed. Anything submitted now will not be reviewed.
Expect reviews soon 
and by soon I mean probably tomorrow
1 Like
Preliminary Reviews Part 1
https://i.imgur.com/xUNSaIJ.jpg
12th March 1978 10:33 AM| California, EagleHeart’s crib
aka Buddy’s house
It was a hot Californian morning, the neighbour’s dog barking at the squirrels again, a fan wirring in the background.
“It’s never fucking quiet around here” thought Buddy as he sorted the brochures that had been scattered by the fan. It was then when Jack lumbered down the stairs.
“You’re up early” Buddy noted.
“Yeah, well I don’t want ya’ to pick a shit ride now do I?” snapped Jack, “Where’s Mac?”.
“Mac? Oh he’s gone off to drag Steven out of Marcholo’s drug den.” replied Buddy, “Crazy bastard just spends his days snorting coke and chugging booze, it’s a wonder he can still perform on stage”.
Just then the door slams open, with Mac carrying Steven over his shoulder.
“A…are we fuckin’ doing this shit or not…” stuttered Steven, still slightly inebriated, “…Right then, since we’re all here, lets fucking go”
Anhultz Mimas
Bud: First off, we have a pretty big sedan, the Anhultz Mimas
Jack: Never 'eard of em, but it don’t look bad.
Bud: Yeah, has 5 seats, sips fuel, and its pretty cheap. Not sure about the 5 speed manual and the turbo though.
Mac: Looks like we’ll need a trailer for it though. I know old Gus has one sitting around, could get him to flog it to us if we need to.
Bud: A keeper?
Jack: Yeah sure
IP Highway Star
Bud: Next is the IP Highway Star
Steven: Looks like shit.
Jack: Eh, it ain’t that bad. And it looks like its got a ton of space to put shit in.
Bud: Yeah, it’s got plenty of seats and space. It chugs a bit more fuel that I would like, but it’s got a carb so that’ll be easy to fix.
Mac: I dig it, don’t even need a trailer so it should be cheaper on the wallet.
Bud: I guess we keep this one then.
Genra GVC Combi
Bud: This ones the Genra GVC Combi
Steven: God, it looks crap. I would rather be seen with Stacy’s mom than in that shit.
Jack: You know for once, I actually agree with you there.
Mac: Looks like shit, but everything else doesn’t seem to bad. Plenty of space, plenty of seats, not to bad on the fuel.
Bud: Still has a carb too, should be easy to repair. We should at least check it out.
Mitsushita Space Dragon
Bud: This one is the Mitsubi…Mitsushita Space Dragon
Steven: That sounds fucking badass, thats the shit I want.
Jack: Looks great and looks like it has plenty of space in the back and even has 5 seats. I think this ones a winner.
Mac: No it ain’t.
Steven: Fuck off Mac, you can’t tell me that this is shit. IT’S A FUCKING SPACE DRAGON
Mac: And who the fuck is doing the maintainence and repair. Oh wait it aint you dipshit. Look at it. Mechanical Fuel Injection. If this thing breaks down in the middle of fuck off nowhere we’re screwed.
Steven: Well we’re fucking checking it out anyways Slams brochure into the ‘good pile’
Mac: Yeah, we’re not. Tear’s the brochure up
Steven: Dick. I’ll fucking buy one anyways.
Luxor Centipede
Bud: Alright guys calm the fuck down. Here’s the next one. It’s…it’s a limo.
Steven: Fuck yeah, now thats some good shit.
Jack: Hold on a second. Even with a trailer there isn’t enough space to fit all our crap in.
Steven: Aww piss off, just strap the shit that dont fit in onto the roof.
Bud: How much was your strat Steven?
Steven: Four months of my salary, why?
Bud: Cause if we get that car, thats the first thing thats getting strapped onto the roof.
Americar Elegance 662
Bud: Right this one is the Americar Elegance 662 and…
Mac: Fuck me is that a 662CI V8. That’s some good shit right there.
Jack: Dude, have you seen it’s estimated fuel eco? It’s shit. No way we’re gonna be able to stay on the road with that.
Steven: Lets not forget that it looks like shit too.
Mac: Ah, damn. Yeah I guess thats going in the bin too.
DAAG SW20t
Bud: This one looks promising. It’s German.
Steven: Ooh la la, va va voom.
Jack: That’s French dumbass.
Mac: Yep, plenty of space and seats and sips fuel too. Pretty good for a van.
Bud: In the good pile it goes then.
WM Valhalla Quad Targa
Bud: Next is the WM Quad Targa. And I would like to say it looks piss ugly
Steven: Yep, a pile of shit looks better than that.
Jack: Definitely
Mac: I’ve seen worse.
Bud: Well apart from it looking pretty bad, it doesnt chug that much fuel.
Mac: It has only 4 seats though, and it does look pretty bad.
Steven: Yeah thats going straight into the bin.
Monado Excursion
Bud:Right, this one is the Monado Excursion.
Steven: This one looks good.
Mac: Yeah we’ll need a trailer for this one though. Also only 4 seats?
Jack: Yeah, not sure about that. The fuel economy isn’t that bad though. But man, that isn’t alot of space for people in there.
Bud: So in the bin?
Mac: Yeah, shame since it looks pretty good though.
Just as they were about to move onto the next set of brochures, the doorbell rings. “I’ll open the door”, said Steven, “You guys continue looking at the other crap”. As Steven opens the door he’s greeted by two police officers. “Mr Steven Dare?” spoke one of the officers. “Aye, that’s me, what’s up officer”. “You’ll have to come with us, we received a call about you being drunk and disorderly from the bar last night”. “Ah piss” uttered Steven…
Part 2 Soon…
17 Likes
YASS!
no instabin!
[jumps around happily]
5 Likes
I thought you only needed 4 seats!
EDIT: Americans don’t say “bin”
Have you read other CSR rounds?
I never said anything about needing only 4 seats. Sure it’s a band of 4 but you gotta have space for extra groupies people.
I thought that’s why we needed 3000 liters of cargo space 
Full disclosure, mine only has 4 seats (I thought the same thing), but the difference between 4 and 5 was something like 5 comfort points. However, mine can haul and tow 1000kg, plus there’s a roof rack, so you know you could fit a hot tub in there
2 Likes
Mine only has 4 seats because it’s a hearse………
Plenty of groupie room in the back…did I say groupie? I meant “equipment”!
Anyway…when’s part 2 coming @Dorifto_Dorito?
We do not transport dead groupies in the back 
Will post Soon
3 Likes
Who said anything about dead groupies?
A hearse is the ultimate passion wagon! 
4 Likes
It was a late Tuesday afternoon when they finally Steven finally say the outside world in full.
“Im FREE!” shouted Steven as he left the police station
“You dumbass. We wasted an entire fucking day because you you” yelled a familiar voice.
“Guys…I…I haven’t seen you in so long” Steven cried as he crawled towards the voice.
“You were stuck in the station for a day, you idiot, lets go” snapped Jack.
Back in Buddy’s house, they went back to sorting out the brochures.
GVC 7830
Bud: Seeing as Steven is now back with us we can begin
Steven: Smoking weed Wut?
Bud: sigh Right, this one is the GVC 7830.
Jack: That’s a strange name
Mac: Looks plain and boring…hold on. Am I reading this right? DOHC? Yeah sorry no we aint getting that, repair costs are gonna be sky high.
Bud: Into the trash she goes then.
Albatross V200
Bud: Right this one is the Albatross V200
Steve: In puke green. No way am I getting in that
Jack: Seems alright, has plenty of seating.
Mac: Hmm, it’s rear engined so working on it is gonna be a fucking pain.
Bud: Well we’ve gotta check it out at least.
HRM Amador
Bud: The next one on the list is the HRM Amador
Jack: It’s… very red, but I like the styling
Mac: Seems okay, has a carb so it should be easy and cheap to work on.
Steven: Only 4 seats? Where the hell are the groupies gonna go?
Bud: Hmm true…sigh thats a shame, was looking pretty promising too.
Bogliq Mutineer
Bud: It’s everyones favorite blue machine. It’s a Bogliq Mutineer
Steven: Love these cars. They’re shit but they’re great fun.
Mac: And it’s going in the trash.
Bud: Aww come on Mac, you can’t throw it in the…
Mac: Mechanical. Fuel. Injection.
Joplin Hendrix Hearse
Bud: This one is apparently a hearse…not sure what that’s implying, but okay.
Steve: What the fuck is that?
Mac: Looks like shit.
Jack: They say Hendrix’s cousin was seen in that? Like hell she did.
Mac: Also why the fuck is it so high up off the ground? Loading crap into that is gonna fucking awful.
Bud: And it has only 4 seats…yeah into the trash.
Star Journeyman
Bud: Right, what we’ve got here is the Star Journeyman
Steven: Doesn’t look too shit.
Jack: Why are the wheels so tiny? It would look better if the wheels weren’t so fucking small.
Mac: DOHC again. Into the trash it goes.
Respect FriedUp 2.0E
Bud: This is the…uh…Respect FriedUp 2.0E?
Steven: What moron calls their car that?
Jack: Well apart from the name, it doesn’t look too shabby.
Mac: cough This thing has some fancy ass rear suspension. It’s gonna be a bitch to sort out if it goes wrong.
Bud: It’s going in the trash then.
Bush Cargo
Bud: This one is the Bush Cargo
Steven: Man it looks shit.
Mac: Has some charm.
Jack: Oh wow, this one is the cheapest by far.
Bud: Yeah, pretty decent. 6 seats, a carb and decent fuel eco. It’s another keeper.
Popas Rushba
Bud: The next one is the Popas Rushba.
Steven: I fucking love it.
Jack: It looks really neat, especially for a Russian car.
Mac: Cheapest to service too. It would be perfect…except it has 4 seats.
Bud: Damn. Was a good car too, into the trash it goes.
“Well, now we’ve got all these cars sorted, I guess the next thing to do is to go test em.” stated Buddy.
“Anyways lads, its almost 9, and I need to go down to the bar. Anyone gonna join?” asked Steven.
“Yeah fuck it, lets go…”
Those going into the final round are:
@Elizipeazie
@Knugcab
@abg7
@NiuYorqCiti
@zschmeez
@Leonardo9613
19 Likes
Ouch. Instabinned
So, after a long period of deliberation, it turns out my hunch about the band’s preference for mechanical simplicity is true.
1 Like
I don’t understand why groupies need seats. They’re gonna be on their knees, then kicked to the curb as soon as their done. WTF kind of weak sauce Rock Band is this? I hereby instabin this CSR 
6 Likes
Albatross Motors would like to assure its customers that its vehicles are available in more than the one color shown on the brochure. Please see your local Albatross dealer to learn more.
5 Likes
Likewise, the Genra GVC Combi is available not just in black, but in several other exterior colors as well. I only went with black because it would seem more menacing.
This round, however, will be remembered for a low turnout - 18 entrants is the smallest field we’ve had in a while, but at least I still enjoyed it regardless, even if I don’t win in the end.
1 Like
Are we getting a novel for each of the finalists?
Nope, personalised songs, written by Eagle Heart for each finalist, 
4 Likes
Ofc, I have to do all the song writing first.
1 Like