Yeah, I remember AAAA very well from my early days of playing Auto… 
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Damn, i had hoped to get further this time around. CSR is seeming like a really tough nut to crack.
Fair reviews tho!
Let’s say, I went for realism rather than pure stats supremacy
Very nice writing, well done! I’m surprised at the fuel economy expectations - for all the driving Tony’s doing, I’d think he’d want at least 25mpg combined. Also surprised at how few entries have manual boxes, and that it mattered.
Curious what kind of reliability numbers made for “great” or “not at all”.
I sent you a PM some days ago, but I can imagine it got lost in the mix.
CSR 154 - Round 2 (Bracket 5 of 5)
September 27, 1979 - Morning
Alarm. Coffee. Cereal. Tony thinks he could stand to mellow out since he’s got his big break - and his little actual, weeklong break. But he can’t - that stupid rerun is on at 9 AM, and he’s gotta watch it for a promised European sedan comparison. Welp, here’s MotorMouth, I guess.
Hi, it’s Dave Jameson here with MotorMouth. While the fuel crisis has seen Asian economy cars prove the biggest challenge to Detroit in the American market, the Europeans that had begun rival American autos at the beginning of the decade haven’t left. In fact, at this turn of the century they are more ready than ever to prove themselves superior with new tech, powerful engines and efficient build techniques.
The Quaglia 320GTi (@HybridTronny) is the face of that ‘powerful engines’ angle: The Italian sports sedan packs a sonorous fuel-injected 3.2-liter V6 pushing over 180 horsepower. In terms of flat-out speed, it’s mighty difficult to find a substitute: with a 7-second sprint to 60 and a 15-second quarter mile dash, there is nothing in its that matches the GTi’s alacrity - an especially impressive feat considering its long, un-aerodynamic old style body. There are decent interior amenities, but the quality is second-rate and ride is harsh and uneven. What alarmed us the most, however, is the high-speed cornering performance of the Quaglia: Despite ostensibly good powertrain control thanks to a Torsen differential, the sedan oversteers in a frightening fashion above 80 mph. On our mixed-cycle test loop, the Italian proved a big eater, only managing 17 miles per gallon.
(This is the quickest car in the entire competition. It’s unbeaten by any other car in almost any aceleration metric - only losing to one other vehicle in the sprint to 200. However, CSR154 is not a race; and of all of Tonys’ 4- and 3- star priorities: reliability, drivability, fuel economy, comfort, and value - the Quaglia excels in none. Even in a competition where performance and sportiness would have been of greater value (but similar techpool rules), the lack of quality use on the trim really harms the Quaglia’s chances of doing well. And as always, it has no idea what overdrive is.)
Our other Italian guest, the Arco Civetta Bebop (@Portalkat42), takes a decidedly different approach. The Civetta itself is a midrange and midsize model of generally solid quality, but the Bebop model features the innovation of a roadgoing all-wheel-drive system with a full-time transfer case. This makes it incredibly easy to drive, and gives it a distinct rain, sleet and snow advantage - though we estimate it to be just as vulnerable as anything else against ice. The Bebop’s spiderlike drive is connected to a five-speed manual, itself driven by Arco’s unremarkable (apart from being remarkably high-strung and shaky) four-cylinder engine producing a worthy 137 horsepower. It is thus decently quick, and the 5-speed’s generous overdrive top gear meant it managed an impressive 27 mpg in our mixed-cycle test loop. We are generally fond of the Bebop’s long list of standard and optional equipment, including a cassette player and a supplemental restraint system, but are disappointed by the exclusion of power steering from every test car we could get our hands upon - forcing a not-big-enough wheel connected to a slow steering box to pick up the slack.
(The Arco has the highest drivability at this round of the competition, not sacrificing too much to achieve it. All of the stats that are relevant are solid or better, barring the typical-for-manuals comfort; however, I must say that the car smells of cheese in several places, most prominently considering it has solid front discs, rear drums… And 100% cooling across the board to make up for it.)
We move now to Germany - though with a historically-British luxury brand, presenting the sleek Valens 816 (@pen15) sports sedan. It’s a real oddball: not only is its wheelbase more in line with compact cars, but in the field of the traditional Italian and deliberately-conservative fellow German exterior designs, it looks 15 years newer. The power output of the 3.8-liter straight-six seems to confirm that perception: 225 horsepower, allowing the car to rocket to 60 in 7.5 seconds despite sporting a non-lockup 4-speed autobox. Fast as it may be, this distinguished sedan is more a highway cruiser than corner carver, with thin-for-weight tires preventing any serious adhesion and forcing the Valens to plow in corners - despite the clutch-type differential competently preventing spins in the rain or in a straight line. This is hardly a letdown at all, however, compared to the build quality: between the complex hydraulic suspension with self-leveling, the novel digital injection, and a desire to keep costs at an acceptable level, the 816 is less than robust - and still manages to clock in at $18,000. It also won no prizes in our mixed-cycle test loop, only pulling out 18 mpg - a consequence of all gears in the four-speed automatic being non-overdrive ones.
(With the lowest reliability of all cars that weren’t outright binned for it, as well as a middling economy, the Valens never stood much of a chance - but props to pen15 for trying his heart out to make the design gorgeous. It is; In fact, I awarded it this competition’s only perfect 10. It’s fast as all hell - beating even the fearsome Quaglia in the long dash to 120 mph - but speed was not the deciding factor in this competition.)
Our last stop is Germany. The first car hailing from the land of no humor is the… very humorously named Wichsen 5-series (@LS_Swapped_Rx-7). As opposed to the very generously equipped cars representing the other models here, we got something that you could almost call a taxicab spec - meaning this 5256i model is the cheapest of the cars reviewed in this comparison. For your $16,400, Wichsen provides a 2.5-liter, throttle-body-injected inline-6 making a more than decent 137 horsepower; a 4-speed overdrive transmission; 60 mph is still reached under 10 seconds, meaning it’s faster than the Arco. You get, once again, a manual steering box - and an old and simple, though very solidly built, 8-track player. One of the less taxicabish features are the 14-inch alloys; with the well-sized tires on them, the independent rear suspension, and the reasonable spring rate, the 5256i manades to be reasonably comfortable simply by virtue of its chassis. The biggest advantage of the Wichsen over its fellow Europeans is its bombproof build quality and reliability; it quite simply will not die on you. It also won’t eat you out of house and home, as showcased by our fuel economy loop returning 25.5 mpg. It doesn’t put a foot wrong - and impressively, is the sportiest-handling car in this comparison by far, once again showing the supremacy of chassis over bolt-on. And that’s with yet another dead, unfeeling manual steering box up front.
(A very solid entry; well-rounded, good-looking, soundly-tuned. Apart from yet another manual steering cheese indulgence, pretty much the textbook balanced entry.)
As this roster might indicate, the European premium sector has been reluctant to consider front-drive cars a viable option. The Martin-Wagner 400 (@BannedByAndroid) changes that: its fancy dual-plenum port-injected V6 connects to the front wheels via a 5-speed manual transaxle. A brisk performer, it gets to 60 in a mere 8 seconds - and it handles well, too, though the tires are a tad thin for the job. While not as dead solid as the Wichsen, it’s also a fair amount more lavishly equipped - though the manual and the harsh suspension spoil the comfort a bit. The transaxle includes a Torsen differential and a short final drive - both good for sportiness, not so much for cost efficiency. Our mixed-cycle loop saw 24.4 mpg - not bad at all, but with that engine, no hydraulic converter loss to worry about and that injection system, it ought to have been much better. The MW as-tested retails for $18,000 - about par for the course for the brand, so a bit steep for the average American.
(It’s a good build, though not my vibe visually; more importantly, it’s not Tony’s vibe functionally: its reliability, comfort and fuel economy aren’t the best, and more importantly, it maxes out the budget without too convincingly outperforming cars that don’t.)
So from the orthodox Italians to the eccentric one-of-a-kind Valens and the rational Germans, these are the primary midsize offerings from the old Continent. All excel in various areas, and certainly the Valens is without equal if you’re looking for an unrivaled super sedan of sorts; however, for daily use and practicality, the Arco and Wichsen are your best bets out of this crop.
Tony turned off the TV, cracked his neck, and gulped down the rest of his coffee pot. With the two MM recommendations, he now had seven solid candidate cars. It was time to see about test-driving each of them… He just hoped the Plymouth would last him this long.
The finalists from Bracket 5 are:
They will be joined in the finals by:
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From what I’ve read so far, you’ve chosen the right cars for the final seven - each one made a strong case for itself, and whichever wins overall will emerge a worthy winner.
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September 27, 1979, 11 AM
Tony stand outside the Takada showroom. It’s shiny and new, bought from a gray importer just recently - which explains why it’s so close to his home and so far from downtown Jackson. The Dignitary - actually one of Takeda’s larger models - was first on Tony’s list not only because of the dealer’s proximity, but also because it seemed the most dynamically similar to his old car. Minus the stalls, hopefully.
Obtaining the keys from the rep, Tony stepped into the Dignitary and was pleasantly surprised by its high-quality leather interior and its new cassette player. He was pleased that each car he was checking out had some form of track player as opposed to merely a radio: perhaps it meant he was crossing over to a new social status. Getting out onto a big road, Tony noted that the Takada was indeed similar to his old car performance-wise: Somewhat wallowy, none too quick, but decently collected overall. It also shared the unfortunate habit of getting loud at highway speeds, with a low top gear - since the extra gear when compared to his Plymouth’s Torqueflite was merely there to help the acceleration not suck worse than it did. Tony imagined that the car would be thrifty enough if he actually followed the national speed limit, but he knew most of the guys wouldn’t let him live it down if he did.
Tony walks away from the Dignitary satisfied. He would’ve hoped for it to be a bit more solid, but it’s not bad at all; and he has a feeling his battle-tested body would thank him for the switch if he were to commit. The trim he test-drove was $15,700 - a fair lump of money, but also significantly below Tony’s limit. All while looking damn good.
PROS: Comfortable; Reasonably cheap; Economical; Looks good.
CONS: Loud on the highway; Underpowered; Lowest reliability in finals.
With Mitsushita’s dealership built in the middle of a disused industrial area, Tony joked to himself that the car might’ve materialized from right there. This isn’t that far from the truth, as the Japanese-designed compact was assembled in Kentucky as protection against quotas and taxes on imports. The Karna that he’s come to visit is painted in a funky purple; Tony muses that it’s not exactly Mike Maverick’s color scheme. Inside and out, the Karna has the same “good enough” feel that’s so pervasive in the Dignitary, while offering some novel features like its space-saving front-drive and an airbag restraint system; on a less bright note, it also
looks cheaper and more phoned-in despite costing slightly more than its rear-drive rival. Out on the road, Tony finds that the Mitsushita is a very quiet car, aided by its dual muffler and a slightly less aggressive final drive; and its engine has surprisingly more grunt than the Takeda’s, the displacement contributing to a much punchier start. Tony is particularly pleased with the operation of the car’s lockup clutch, which grants it much better highway passing behavior.
Dropping off the Karna, Tony is visited by a sense of longing. It’s objectively a good car, performing and to a point even feeling better than the Takeda - but it just doesn’t feel half as sweet when it looks so chintzy, to the point where his own Plymouth looks like more of an occasion. Made in Kentucky? Yeah, it shows. Tony is surprised to find that though he was dead-set on getting a very practical car, if this is the price of practicality - he isn’t paying.
PROS: Very economical; Comfortable and modern; Good safety.
CONS: Looks uninspiring and cheap; Second-worst reliability in finals.
For the next several cars - the European ones - Tony has to make his way to a trendy part of town. At one point, the ritzy Euro-car dealers made this place their home and never left. Not even the British brand, Calcote, despite the fact some larger and more mass-market players from that country never made it far in the market. On the heels of the warm review of the Superior sedan, Tony arrived here first, excited for a damn good car - and was shot down almost immediately by that color. What the hell is this, “piss-running-down-leg” hue? And why does it have these ugly, unstyled steelies? Blegh. Trying not to show the sales rep just how confused he was, Tony received the keys and sat down in the car - and though the review he’d read had readied him, the huge wheel indicating the presence of manual steering just about made him depressed. As did the very primitive eight-track with no bass/treble setting. Now, once his desire to just get right back out of the car slowly faded on the road, Tony did find the Superior a pleasant drive. As quiet as the Karna and smoother - and with even more get-up-and go; and, speaking of sound, not a single interior rattle. Just dead solid. Though a first-year car’s reliability can never be guaranteed - and Tony knew this the hard way - he felt that this car could have no quit in it whatsoever. The Calcote also had the same transmission tech as did the Karna, granting great high-speed capacity and - at least supposedly - economy.
So, on balance, Tony had exited the Superior in a better mood than he had entered it. It was still a weird car with a weird look, a weird (in this case) color and less overall comfort than either of the cheaper Japanese cars, it felt like it had an intangible measure of quality and confidence the rising star had been looking for.
PROS: Incredibly reliable; Very well-scouted power range; Solid economy.
CONS: Looks like a very derisive poverty spec; Heaviest manual-steered car in test; Short powerband; Undercontented.
When Tony approached the Wichsen dealership, he was met with the sight of dozens of similar-looking cars - but he knew from his research they were all different inside. Engine sizes, interior specs, the like - all can be customized. But even the one he is eventually led to - the gray, non-luxurious 5256i - is still the very image of dignity and solidity. That’s how you treat your entry-level customer. Alloys? Yes. Big engine? Yes. Airbag? Also yes, though it comes inside a one-size-fits-all wheel connected to a manual steering box. Like the Calcote, the equipment level isn’t quite as generous as that of the Japanese cars, but, again, the car’s bolted down dead solid. On the road, Tony notices that the car is much more lively than the other three he’s been in so far, with a sportier suspension tune that he’s not necessarily used to. On the ‘plus’ side, however, there engine is smooth, quiet and very, very powerful for the class - almost 140 horsepower, making the car the quickest and best-passing he’s driven so far. That said, after his test-drive, Tony still felt that the firmer ride did it few favors.
Tony’s impression coming away from the Wichsen is that it does much of what the Calcote did - without making fun of him with poverty-spec trim or being overly ungainly in its exterior. At a price that just about matches both the Calcote and the Mitsushita, this is one well-balanced option.
PROS: Looks like a Sir; Pretty quick; Solid economy; Reliable and easy to fix.
CONS: Undercontented; Overdamped; Could use just a bit more overdrive.
By late afternoon, Tony reaches the Arco dealership to take a look at their novel four-wheel-drive sports sedan. It sure is a looker - the traditional, aggressive front and a fuselage body shape distinguishing it from most other cars. Mike is particularly a fan of the brutal flattened-out wheel arches covering bulky aluminum wheels. The Arco is up to par in terms of gadgets and doodads, but it does also have a stick-shift - something no other car he’s driven today - or in the past three years - had. Gingerly, then, Tony eases into first and goes on a drive. It doesn’t take long to realize that the Civetta is, well… Weird. The European has a big, rattly four-cylinder engine that makes exactly as much power that the Wichsen’s six-cylinder did, except it cuts fuel flow too early to make the best use of said power. Its harshness is mitigated by the outright cruiser gear that is fifth gear - but at highway speeds, the car suffers from wind noise relating to the massive holes made in the front for cooling purposes. It’s like an overcomplicated tractor, really, though not in that bad a way, as Tony discovers that the car handles in a wonderfully confident way and stops well, too - though the fronts are perhaps too weak. As with the Wichsen, the price is a ride that’s harsher than what Tony is used to.
The Arco presents a different kind of drive than the rest of the cars so far: much more tactile and involved. It’s decently reliable, drives great, and its lack of perceived comfort and relaxation are largely attributable to the manual transmission and (once again) steering. It’s pretty good.
PROS: Dead easy to drive; Good-looking; Good economy.
CONS: Not very soft and comfortable; Weird engine and cooling choices; Short powerband.
Tony takes his time dining between the golden arches, so to speak, so it’s almost sundown by the time he reaches the Caplan dealership. Dating back to better times, it’s located downtown - and as with many other US cities, it’s a locale that’s worn down and neglected. Not so when it comes to the Chesapeake, though; the glass T-bar roof, the bold four-eyed front, all of it combines to make for an assertive and durable exterior. On the inside, Tony appreciates the adjustability of the 8-track and its intricate quality in playing his tape of Paranoid that he bought a year ago. The seats are both soft and supportive, and despite the two doors, rear space is more than plentiful. Now, with the lockup-equipped four-speed, it’s more than a competent highway cruiser: with its front drive, it’s also easy and predictable to control. Tony was expecting a good bit more out of that fabled turbo engine. Instead, even with the force-feeding, the 3-liter fails to seriously out-pull the Calcote and Wichsen’s freer-breathing sixes. Now, mind you, the turbo does provide the low-down grunt for the adequate acceleration while being both whisper-quiet and having a much lower level of highway revs than either of its European rivals. Tony isn’t actually as incensed about the low power level as he is about the poor rated economy and the absolutely non-existent throttle response.
Tony returns relieved that the American is no pushover, and amazed by how good the fit and finish is - especially in contrast to his Plymouth - but he does think that for all of the flash and fanfare, the whole “turbo” business isn’t all that. The Chesapeake is a very cool car, and a pretty good one, but it ain’t no muscle car.
PROS: Rock solid; Very prestigious; Mean-looking; Comfortable.
CONS: Bit of a guzzler; Slow for a Turbo; Not the safest.
As the sun flares up for the last time before disappearing below the horizon, it shines on Tony’s last demo car of the day: a small, spiffy Canadian hatchback. Swanson’s an unusual company, but - as with Caplan - they’ve been around for a long while, and this dealership - the neighborhood around it also having deteriorated significantly - is proof. Tony notes the wide flat six under the hood, pressed between the unequal-length arms of the front suspension - though a short stroke and deck somewhat alleviate this. Inside the stubby little slugger lies a decently-sized interior - courtesy of the taller roof - with its centerpiece being a bold gated five-on-deck shifter. It also features a well-made 8-track - not as intricate as the masterwork buried inside the Caplan, but pleasant nonetheless. The overall impression the insides of the Swanson leave is: solid and reassuring. Tony wouldn’t want to be the one changing the plugs on the Swanson, but supposedly it won’t need to be a common occurrence. Driving the Swanson (after the hassle of getting it off the lot courtesy of the surprisingly fast, thus tight, manual rack) Tony finds himself having fun. The engine is revvy, the shifter is silky (and, of course, features an ever-appreciated long fifth for cruising) and despite the car only matching the power of the Europeans, it’s so much lighter that it flies in comparison. Rounding out the driving experience are a slightly too-sporty suspension and a feel that’s slightly too oversteery for Tony due to the hatch’s notably wide-for-size tires.
The Swanson’s a different beast, Tony concludes, but even discounting all the fun it is, the hatch does everything he’d want it to: Carries five in dignity, has some trunk space, runs good, has comfy seats. One thing that actually blows Tony’s mind is the window sticker’s economy claim: Almost 30 mpg, head and shoulders around the rest of the field. And, also importantly, while Swansons are not very prestigious, this one looks spicy and special with the sassy stripe and the carved-out headlight housings.
PROS: On a hunger strike; Top-notch dynamics; Looks great; Quiet on highways.
CONS: Not comfortable; Not prestigious; Boxer in a tight space is concerning.
The Swanson is a very strong last car; but then again, several other remaining cars are solid choices as well. Thus, to his misery, Tony has to lug himself back home in the half-dead Volaré to make a decision. Sitting on his couch with yet another pizza on his lap, he takes to his notes.
The Calcote (7th) has to be the first one to go because it seriously, badly felt it was cramping Tony’s style - ungainly, piss-colored, and bearing ugly steelies. It’s not a bad car mechanically, but neither are the remaining ones - and they all look better. Okay, maybe the Mitsushita (6th) doesn’t look that much better, and that’s why that car has to get stuck back here as well.
The Takeda (5th), consequently, has to go too - because it was only slightly better than the Mitsushita when taking looks into account, and worse otherwise. Both of those cars, while comfortable and reasonable, also lacked solidity. The Arco (4th) has to follow along, too; it may be more drivable and powerful, but it’s also less comfortable and stands as the most expensive car out them all without being clearly the best one. An unenviable position.
Tony is thus left with just three: The Caplan, the Swanson, and the Wichsen. Of the three, the Caplan is a serious image leader with that snail attached to the engine - but it’s not quite as much pop now that Tony himself doesn’t buy its hype quite as much. It doesn’t change the fact that the Caplan is the most comfortable car out of the three, and the most solidly built. The Swanson is the opposite: light and just a bit more finicky, but much more pleasing to the senses - and the wallet, with that fuel sipper of an engine. It’s also the cheapest, 500 bucks less than the Wichsen and 900 less than the Caplan. This leaves the taxi-spec Wichsen as the jack of all trades - but with the important caveats of being the safest and cheapest to repair car.
That said, the Wichsen (3rd) is simply not cool enough to come forth, and lacks real big hits in its favor. And while the Caplan (2nd) does appeal to Tony’s penchant for the regular, spacious American car, its status as the worse of the three on paper (most expensive, worst to repair, slowest, most hungry) just dampens his enthusiasm for it. So in the end, he figures out that he could have saved himself his last drive in the Volaré after all: He is going to spring for the Swanson 225 PFi (1st). He might have to downsize once again even as he goes upmarket, but here’s a car whose practical strengths are good enough to elevate it to this level on their own - all while having the best looks and the most fun factor on top of that already competitive bundle. And hell, maybe having a more buff right hand and left leg will enhance his Maverick character somehow.
Thank you all for taking part in this challenge, and congratulations to @Ludvig on the victory! I am going to post fun facts and the challenge sheet at a later date. In the meantime, here is the hosting order:
WINNER: @Ludvig
2nd: @donutsnail
3rd: @LS_Swapped_Rx-7
4th: @Portalkat42
5th: @ChemaTheMexican
6th: @conan
7th: @Tsundere-kun
8th: @GetWrekt01, @ACoolCrab
9th: @shibusu
10th: @Mad_Cat
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I am definitely happy with tenth place considering I’m still very out of touch with techpool and that I haven’t participated in a CSR in ages
Very cool round btw, enjoyed reading it
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With hindsight, I can easily see how the Swanson won - it ticked all the boxes on Tony’s wishlist (with a healthy dose of sportiness for good measure), and fittingly, he saved the best option for last.
Looking back at the Swanson, it somewhat reminds me of an Alfa Romeo Alfasud or Alfetta - it was blessed with their vivacious Italian feel (complete with dual round front headlights on each side and a front-mounted boxer engine, albeit one with six cylinders instead of the Alfasud’s four), but without their (at best) questionable reliability and build quality. Funny how I should say that, given that Swanson is a Canadian manufacturer (which I didn’t realize until recently). Nor did I expect this sportiness-focused wildcard to even reach the finals:
BTW, what body set is the Swanson built on? And what does this acronym stand for?
Finally, what does this mean?
I’m assuming it’s front-wheel-drive, like the Alfasud (but not the Alfetta/GTV6, which was rear-wheel-drive).
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Holy hell I won the legendary CSR
And it was a real good one, well written, and with finalists I figured would keep me off the podium.
Incidentally I’m hosting a cocktail party tonight (way less fancy than it reads) and need to have a look at my calendar, whether I have a workable idea etc. Hosting is daunting and doubly so for CSR, yo. I’ll know tomorrow.
@abg7
The mod is French family car 70s by matt, the IRL car would be the Citroen GS.
The suspension was a touch harder than ideal for the trim level due to the mod body’s tendency to roll, on the other hand the swoopy but tallish roofline fits the Swanson brand perfectly.
Yes, inspired by Alfa, Citroen (both of which used FWD longitudinal boxer about this time) Saab, and Subaru (with better head gaskets)
The mk2 200-series was late in a long production run (66-82) at this point. Refined, and given new life with 3-valve engines, but lacking in tech.
(I actually worked on some more far more malaisey cars before asking the important question of “which car would a fitter late 70s version of me want?”)
Right Wheel Drive = RWD
SEOPS = Single-Engine Operations
I’m not a pilot or involved in aircraft at all, just another nerdy interest and in this context a nod to the brands origins building engines for smaller aircraft.
Based in Windsor, Canada, a call I made for the Letara challenge as “somewhere in the anglosphere” was too vague, and in the context of 30s/40s logistics made some sense.
7 Likes
Swansons seem to be great cars that fall over being to …expressionist … Glad to see one make it this time
Passing on to @donutsnail
Sorry for flaking out again but I don’t trust my plans for june not to interfere.
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Unfortunately, I am not interested in hosting CSR at this time. The hot potato passes to @LS_Swapped_Rx-7
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i’m up for another go of this
time to get cooking 
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Woho, return of fire bin container then!
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Oh god
I watched CSR152 with great laughter, can’t wait to see what he cooks up now
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Don’t give us like 90 TP again bruh
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give us 100 
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gimme another opportunity to submit the super retro shitbox
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Oh my god
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bin hell? Isnt that just a London Alleyway?
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