CSR161 - With an Attitude [JUDGING IN PROGRESS]

1993 Billancourt Élysée QV6



Equipped with the pinnacle of French automotive collaboration, the Montagne-Billancourt V6, as well as Billancourt’s QuadDrive AWD system, the new Élysée QV6 is the ultimate French car – a luxurious and performant liftback sedan.




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Suisei Tempus PI6

Low effort ah build/post
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The 1993 Liberty Premiere EL, with butter-smooth adaptive air-spring suspension and feather-light electric power steering. Live your life effortlessly.

Gallery





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Is this still open? Your OP says “April 20” but the timing of this post implies that we have until the 21st.

My bad. I guess I wanted to close Saturday evening when I started this, but I forgot and thought I was closing Sunday this whole time.

I’m editing the OP and giving all y’all these 10 more hours.

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“If the Aetherion isn’t the right car for Mike, at least there’s the potential to incorporate it into the kayfabe for someone else - because god knows that even the most rip-roaring wrestler billed as driving an Apollo will look like a saint compared to the sorts of insufferable turbo-yuppies who really do. “When is our little Brett going to find a good woman and start a family?”, your old-fashioned Southern parents ask you yet again, to which you reply by dragging them out to the driveway of their suburban lakeside McMansion, opening the rear door of your convincingly family-sized new ride, and spreading out on the rear bench in the most comically exaggerated manner possible. Congratulations, you just bought yourself at least two more years of nag-free banging and blow-snorting during business hours. Apollo Aetherion, official car of the man who is not only the real-life equivalent of Bruce Lucent, but can read Atlanta Nights cover to cover and unironically enjoy it. Apollo Aetherion, official car of ordering the Letrastani-domestic-market driver’s seat wine glass holder on the grey market and using it illegally in America.” - Everyday Vehicle Evaluations guy

Introducing the 1993 Apollo Aetherion Deluxe Liftback, the “Benetsch that isn’t a Benetsch” for the JOC that isn’t a JOC.

Despite the best efforts of Ralph Nader, the Bertrand Group’s flagship large car continues to redefine American consumers’ expectations in the luxury sector. Whether you’re seeking the best way to effortlessly cover thousands of highway miles in Pullman-like comfort with class-leading fuel economy, or a large grand tourer that can seat four in luxury whilst still going head to head with the best purebred sports cars, Apollo has a variant of the Aetherion perfect for you.
Our refreshed 1993 lineup brings with it a whole host of improvements. An advanced 5-speed electronically-controlled automatic gearbox is now standard in the top-of-the-line Dominion trim, and optional in the mid-range Deluxe, both of which now boast intake variable valve timing on the smaller 3.7L engine option for ten more horsepower (totaling 250) and improved economy, with the Liftback returning over 23mpg combined and the sedan even more. A skip-proofed CD stereo is now standard in the Dominion and Deluxe, and the Apollo Infotronics computer system now uses a liquid-crystal display across the range.

The Deluxe Liftback pictured here, with a large front trunk and a capacious storage space in the rear above the engine bay, is the ideal car for a prestigious company fleet, or a travelling professional who spends a lot of time hauling lots of people and their baggage long distances - even if that means going full throttle up Cajon Pass in mid-summer with the car bursting at the seams and the A/C on high. As with all modern Aetherion models, the fitment of a high-performance front-mounted oil cooler has completely eliminated overheating in any real-world driving scenario. All of this can be yours for just 26,700AMU.

(Note: Apollo is a luxury sub-brand of Bertrand Cars used in America alone; elsewhere, this car is known as the Bertrand A8. Apologies for the shoddy writeup and lack of interior, as I have been busy with work lately.)

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Is this some sort of design collaboration with the P&A Group in-universe, or did your design language just shine through unintentionally?

Style, meet substance. The first thing you’ll notice about the 1993 Flint Sovereign is its sleek, aerodynamic styling. But there’s more to the Sovereign than good looks. Like a 24-valve inline six cylinder engine that delivers smooth, quiet power. A road-sensing suspension that uses advanced electronics to adapt to the road. Spacious seating for 5 or 6, with available premium leather interior in Limited trim or a plush luxury interior in Premier. And reinforced, high-quality components throughout to reduce noise and vibration and enhance durability.

Price as shown: Limited trim with 6-person seating, $28,000


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Who said a future classic can't be classy and futuristic?
Audax presents the smoothest new ride on the market.

The 1993 Serena brings it all.

Where are you headed?

From the sleek aerodynamic design to the spacious cabin within, and from what's under the hood to what's nestled in the dashboard, there's many things to love about a new Serena. Not only does it manage an impressive 27 miles per gallon with a 4.1L V6 in a full-size sedan, but it's whisper-quiet inside the cabin. Play your favorite CDs while surrounded in endless comfort, or ease onto the accelerator and feel the smooth power delivery effortlessly guide you to your destination. A Serena glides like a yacht for a fraction of the price.

Room for everyone and the kitchen sink.

Fitting both form and function into one package isn't easy, but we're pretty experienced with it now. The Serena looks good, feels good, and hauls goods as much as you ask it to. With the optional towing package, it makes for a comfortable workhorse. With optional whitewalls, you can stand out with class that'll stand the test of time. And if the smooth and powerful V6 offered standard isn't enough, there are plenty of additional options for the discerning buyer, from an extra-smooth V8, or a dual-turbocharged V6, all the way up to a silk-smooth V12 that fits right at home with all the other premium niceties a Serena can offer you.

Modern style, modern components, modern engineering, all put together with the same excellent quality and attention to detail you can expect from America's best brand. So why wait? The Serena begins at a lower cost, but the Select trim opted as you see here can be had for just $12,955. So why wait? Come see why the standard of the nation is as high as we set it.

* Independently rated using EPA methodology in private study.
Based on Serena Select with 5-speed manual transmission and HE-3902 engine option.
HE-3902 with 4-spd electronically-controlled automatic rated for 20 miles per gallon.
† Converted from in-game price ($28,000 AMU) to USD for 1993.



AUDAX
Dare to be bold.
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1993 Wolfe Regalia

As the last true North American model from Wolfe after its merger with its new Japanese overlord in the mid-80s, the Regalia was on its last leg in 1993. Even with an older 4.0L 4-barrel carbureted engine, it was still built with luxury in mind. Would it still compete on the market or be eclipsed and forgotten as the last hurrah coming out of its soon-to-close Canadian factory?


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SUBMISSIONS CLOSED


New/Completed Entries

@vero94773 & @Kyorg
@IncredibleHondaFit
@Knugcab
@Vento & @lotto77
@Ducktant
@the-chowi
@Falling_Comet
@passengerpigeon
@oldmanbuick
@supersaturn77
@karhgath

Entries with no ad: 24 hours grace period

@pen15
@GetWrekt01 & @HybridTronny

Let me know if I missed you - and good luck! Bins will come soon


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It’s basically just a cosmic coincidence that the early-mid 90’s Renaults I was basing that on have a very similar look to Halvsons/Planars of the same era. Totally not because I’m a one trick pony or anything nope.

(but also I put a Bateman Design badge on the side, as I consider that my in-universe design/tuning house and have used it in the past)

Missed me.

You were in the 49 hour post, @moroza.


Atera Excelsis Regal 3.4

Experience the thrill of Japanese engineering with the Atera Excelsis Regal. The meticulously crafted 3.4L straight-6 engine unleashes 253 horses, pinning you back in your plush seat as you rocket to 60mph in a mere 7.4 seconds. Indulge in the symphony of sound from the Mark Levinson audio system, all while the innovative adaptive suspension anticipates every curve, delivering a driving experience as unforgettable as it is luxurious.

The Atera Excelsis Regal. Where performance whispers elegance.


made in collaboration with @HybridTronny

Gallery

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CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE
CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE
CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE
CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE CÉLESTE


Indulge in the opulence afforded to you by this private jet for the road.

Slash through the air with the Céleste, now gracing the American shores. Will you experience French luxury and make every journey a rendezvous with new thrills?

Don't settle for cruising at ground level when you can ascend to new heights of sophistication, thanks to the new DeValz Air Suspension.

Now, embrace the spirit of innovation and elegance embodied by the great Concorde and let this car be your passport to a world of luxury.

Step into a cabin harking to your favourite plane's first class. With more leather.

Glide through city streets and motorways with the grace of a supersonic jet, as plush interiors cocoon you in French refinement. Fly high with DeValz flair




deVALZ, plus haut.



deVALZ Ad No. 69-001 by pen15




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Think you missed the entry done by me and @xsneakyxsimx

I have not. It’s entered into the spreadsheet, and I certified it as complete in the 49-hour warning post.

For God’s sake, people, check both posts. I count 31 entries, and it’s obvious by observation that the 13 entries mentioned in the closing post aren’t the full haul.

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Got it. Just saw.

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ROUND 1 - THE JOB CARS


Jacksonville Beach, Florida; January 1993

Our guy Mike Maverick - real name Tony, mind you - started his re-integration with the wrestling business by reconnecting with his former protege, Scott Suave. Suave - just as Maverick - plays a villainous character, a heel. In the 1990s, that means they and a whole lot of other such talent share a locker room.

The Dangerous Alliance - an example of a villainous, or “heel”, stable. If you know wrestling, you’ll recognize some of them as being real-life counterparts of the characters I put into this story!

Prologue for Round 1

Mike: Scott, I gotta give it to ya. You sure know how to give an old dog a great welcome back.

Scott: Aw, don’t start with that. You took me under your wing back when New York was small-time; it’s the least I could do, Tone.

Scott - an honorable man devout to his friends and to his God - and to a certain herb, too, paradoxically - was all too happy to introduce his old friend to his new colleagues, starting by going to the beach. And Jacksonville - being Jacksonville - supplied some fitting weather for the occasion, though it was nominally winter.

Scott: Hey Phil, get your frilly mug over here! This is the guy I wanted you to meet. I taught you how to bleed, but he’ll teach you how to draw money doing it!

Phil: Draw money bleeding? In this company? You gotta be shitting me, old man!

Looking like a million, fresh off two beers, and with a tinge of angry, insecure anxiety in his voice - the man approaching the two veterans is Peerless Phil. A Texan playing the role of a pretty boy with a mean streak - but who’d probably be more at home playing his own, pissed off alcoholic self.

Phil: So you’re Maverick? I watched that little special feature they filmed on ya back in '89. I been wanting to play that character for years, ya know! Dream had been saying there ain’t a market for it, but now that yer here it seems like he’s full of crap!

Mike: Yeah, Dream seems like a very, eh, “Diplomatic” fella. Suppose you shouldn’t be buying all that he’s selling. But what can you do, kid? The last booker I worked with ran me out the business for a decade. You ain’t got it so bad, in comparison.

Scott: Alright, Alright, that’s enough belly-aching from the both of ya. Tony, tell Phil something useful instead.

Mike: Get patient. Use your promo time well if you get any at all - don’t waste it. Maximize your minutes. You have the face, you have the attitude, you have the ring work - it’s a matter of time. You swear so good that you’ll hand us the sailor demographic on a silver platter. And every 80s wrestling kid is growing up into one, so it’s a rich market.

Phil: Well, seeing as you ain’t juuuuust telling me to be patient, I’ll take that. I gotta start thinking about promos in advance - hit’em where it hurts. If they want me to be a heel, they’ll get the baddest man alive!

Scott: Forgive them, Lord, they know not what they do.

Down at the hotel later that evening

The heels headed down to Marv Mathers’ room. A veteran himself, Marv - known to many as The Peacekeeper of the Fiendish Four stable and notable for being the “brother” of one of the bookers - got himself a fat room with a TV. Mike paid his dues for the day by bringing in and hoooking up a tape player - there would be lots of reminiscing, coaching and ribbing over the old Northern wrestling tapes he brought. Philip brought the booze, and Scott brought some of his stuff as well.

Marv, though, he had a stack of car magazines on the coffee table, and he got straight to business with Mike.

Marv: Dream told me you wanna get rid of your ratty little Canuck wheels. The way I see it, this ain’t a personal matter - it’s a public matter. A locker room matter.

Scott: That’s right. The last thing we want is a big heel like yourself driving a jobber’s car. Or, you know, anything that can’t cram a whole bunch of us in.


HARD RULE BINS

Phil: The way I see it, all those luxo-cars aren’t the most dependable anyhow - so if a luxo-car is also known to have problems, that’s something you shouldn’t buy.

Mike: That makes sense. Which instantly puts something like an Aetherion limo out of contention: They’ve been hit in the faulty material and tooling scandals, according to one of this magazine’s columns.

Marv: Truth be told, what puts it out of contention to me is how its ass looks. Makes me wanna drink myself to death.

(A statistically competent entry on the surface - big, fast, aluminum-bodied to total rustproofing. Raises eyebrows in some realism departments - like the 12.4:1 compression on, best believe it, regular gas. Other than that it’s middle of the road… Unfortunately, both co-hosts concur that it doesn’t look good at all, from the cheap-looking “default with different hue” color, to the smorgasbordy rear vents. The proportions aren’t bad, though. But this is not a visual bin, but an instabin - as the entrant exceeded the techpool cap.

Truth be told, I was warned that my reused “example” techpool image - which depicts an overall techpool of 44.3M - could have caused problems. I should have changed it to one depicting 40 million or under. However, when 29 out of 31 entrants pass a spot check, I count it as the remaining 2 having only themselves to blame.)

Scott: Same article would also disqualify the Veloce Giove. Kind of a shame - I know Tony likes the sporty ones.

Phil: I trust an eye-talian car about as far as The Giant could throw one. Probably wouldn’t last three winters, either.

(This is the other techpool bin. It’s also the only sub-6 cylinder car here, with only 5 pots; is a razor’s edge away from being a low prestige bin; and it has Achilles heels in reliability and environmental resistance that stem from a zero-quality body that is also normal steel (not a binnable/finable offense on its own, mind). We were also underwhelmed by the design, especially considering the bangers Ch_Flash tends to put out.)

Marv: Mortal-Kombat-4 over here isn’t going to do either, if workmanship’s our metric. Lakestar has been in hot water with the government due to making engines out of tolerances and then failing to fulfill warranties when they pop.

Scott: I don’t think MK will ever even get to 4. The guys that make it could be bought out by our Northern friends to make games for them - and we all know they’re G-rated as can be.

Phil: Amen to that.

(This car is binned for having a 1995 engine variant. Apart from that, it’s unreliable, thirsty, hard to drive, and isn’t much of a looker. To remedy most of the above would be a matter of tuning - it can barely utilize half of its cam profile of 60, and the suspension tuning is terminal oversteer-inducing as well as harsh.)

Mike: And then there’s this damn thing. Flint’s apparently had some sort of production collapse that’s so bad, their cars have been found sold new with surplus engines from the past. Possibly even ones pulled from the junkyard. And if they have that going on…

Phil: Yeah, DTA. And look at it: It’s one massive car, but it looks small and docile. Only the donuts are huge and that just makes it look goofier.

(Sadly, the only six-seater here is claimed by a 1986-variant year motor. It has other issues, too: low prestige, a “less cool Aurora” look, and the absurd 30-inch-tall tires. While dynamics were not a high priority, it’s not every day you see a car on medium-compound tires flop so badly at cornering, with 0.6g being the best it can achieve.)

STAT-BASED BINS (low scores in 4-star priorities)

Cavalier Motors Gazelle - @Er_Foxone

Scott: Ooooooh, jobber car!

Mike: No kidding! Even if the airbags weren’t stuck in the top position, this thing is just a plain little brick. With a 1.6 liter engine. That’s not even half a gallon! I can’t trust that!

(Binned for lowest-in-competition prestige - just 32 points - alongside poor design and poor comfort. The car is pretty nonsensical with its tiny 90-degree V6 that nonetheless has a helical diff attached to its slushbox transaxle - driving the front wheels clad in utility tires. I suggest the entrant commit a weekend or so to research ahead of the next challenge.)

Phil: If that one was plain, this one’s just plain disgusting! Why’s it so round but so blocky? Why’s it got a gas engine badly pretending to be a diesel? Why? Why? Why?

Mike: I don’t think a “Why” chant will catch on, kid. Maybe try “What” or something.

Phil: …What?

(Sorry for being harsh - but this design is just not good. You got huge sealed beams next to an aero-style grille on a flat front surface - and all that made out of the inherently squishy E90 body - all on the Crown Victoria body, which lends itself better to relaxed, rounded, even aerodynamic shapes. It’s got salad shaker rims combined with a formal roof… Just all over the place. And let me address the entrant directly here: Stop trying to shoehorn “Gasoline Compression” engines into places they don’t belong. Fake turbodiesels won’t help your entry or your reputation, especially when you manage to take 8 seconds to 60 with a 360 hp engine.)

Scott: Maaaaaajor jobber car! Teeny little… Wagon-van thing, good for hippies and cruiserweights at best.

Marv: Yeah, I dread trying to fit into one of those eight seats. Please don’t, Anthony.

Mike: Yeah, I won’t. Shame, too - if I could just have that but sized up by 20% or so… Like one of those family trucksters of yore.

(Binned for low prestige. Truth be told, this is not a bad car - it just missed the brief something fierce. Not comfortable, not large, not even that cheap either.)

Phil: There’s a family truckster right here, in sedan form.

Marv: You gotta be shitting me, kid! That is a mockery of an actual Supersport barge. It’s got cut-rate struts up front, it’s got the roofline of a Japanese import, it’s unreliable - not too mention too harsh-riding.

Scott: It plain doesn’t look right. There’s better barges around these days. Many better ones.

(Binned for design - it’s very plain, and the Lancer body just does not work very well for a full-size role without some major cutting-up. I appreciate trying to make an Impala SS replica - I’m a Roadmaster owner myself - but there’s a better SS replica already in the competition. One that’s actually ladder-framed, solid-axled, and doesn’t need expensive ITBs for power. A lot of the tuning and options baked into the car are inefficient effort - entrant will be making better stuff with more practice.)

Scott: It’s Russian? Weren’t those commies making 30-year-old American sedans 2 years ago?

Mike: Maybe they should have kept at it. The old ones looked a lot better.

Phil: Don’t look that terrible to me. I’m just afraid of that low roof in a car that ain’t too massive in the first place.

Mike: I’m not dealing with this Russian car; I’m not a Russian heel, after all.

(Binned for design. A combination of awkward color combination, out-of place fixtures (50s chrome hood scoop? A 90s vent cluster stuck to the back of the car as well as the front?) brings it down. The engineering is generally unexceptional, but props on getting comfort and reliability very high simultaneously.)

Marv: Now, this is an interesting ride. It’s got a V12.

Phil: A V12?

Marv: Yeah.

Phil: And this is what, a compact?

Marv: Yeah, it’s a compact liftback.

Phil: Well, if the whole front’s engine, where do the people go? Who buys this crap? V12. I bet it’s not even that fast!

Scott: Magazine says a bit under 8 seconds, so it really isn’t. Out of a 340hp V12… Yeah, this car makes no fucking sense.

(This competition’s sole pure-realism bin. If Riley’s CSR156 entry was a Camaro/Firebird front end bolted to a small liftback, this is a BMW 850CSi front end - complete with pop-ups - bolted to a small liftback. Rule of cool can’t really hold when we’re talking about a BMW 3-series-size car with a V12 that is slower than an older-model E32 750i. It’s a bit of a shame when looking at the car’s exterior, but it’s also distinguished as one of several cars that flat out refuse to use quality. The one good statistical thing I can remark upon is the insane - especially for 1993 RWD - 78+ drivability.)


Please discuss results in a calm, civil manner. Discourse is encouraged - salt is not.


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