Judgement Round 1: The Walkaround Part 2
Home from work, workout done (note to self: do not go back to the gym until this COVID epidemic shit is over with, yikes), dinner had, beer drank.
Yep, it’s judging time.
DMC Hyped
Choice quote from @Jaimz (again):
Enjoy!
Mommy I’m scared.
ffs, really!?
I’m not posting any other angles, mainly because my internet is currently a mobile phone with 1 bar worth of signal, but also because there’s retro-future and then there’s a hotrod with… actually fuck it, feast your eyes on this:
Would you look at that tyre width to track width ratio. It’s worse than a Carmageddon car. From the original game.
Aesthetics
No.
Impact
Not good.
Construction
Also not good.
Coherence
I don’t even know anymore.
Verdict
Try rocking up to a top end car show in one of these.
Yeah it wouldn’t go so well would it?
Jaimz’s 
count: 2
(can we get a +f)
Alba Hálcon
Choice quote from @TheLapTopX20:
im ready for the bin
I’m sure the bin is ready for you too 
let’s go motherfuckaaaaaaaa
After some intense study, this is my favourite part of the car:
Well, I do love the paint, but seeing as what I drive daily is a “Berocca piss yellow” Civic, this bodes poorly for you.
Also,
This car is so sick of your shit already, it wants to return to the 90s when life was simpler, and instead of a global recession and a viral epidemic we just had a global recession.
Maybe you should apply to the design team for Tesla’s cybertruck. I’m sure they could use your input.
Aesthetics
Nowhere close to 2020 my friend.
Impact
Construction
Barely there, like half my underwear 
Coherence
You know what, it’s kind of the same sad all around so I’ll give you that.
Verdict
GM hocked out a POS 90s econobox to multiple platforms and this was the most cynical of the lot.
TheLapTopX20’s count: 1
FABEL Sport Météore RS
Choice quote from @MrChips:
So how does a horse like, drive a car
Long and hard, like my co-ffee, yeah I don’t drink coffee
What you get if the Elise and the A110 had a hot steamy sesh alongside the French Riviera. The idea is good. The lip is a bit meh and there’s a bit of awkward fixture selection in the lower fascia. But I can’t fault the overall execution (are the wings peeking out from underneath the bonnet and windshield because I’m missing a mod??? Shit. We can fix that later.)
There are ways and means of keeping things simple but keeping it right. This is the right body and one right way of doing it. Use fixtures to create complex contours like on modern cars, yes, but block and contrast areas to create singular and purposeful lines. Choose the lines that clash carefully.
My niggle with this design is that the sloping upward aspect of the tail lights creates a slightly dour impression. I know the shape of the body is what it is but probably better to either go fully horizontal, or even taper the height at either end so that the lights slope up. You’ll be hard pressed to find a good-looking hypercar IRL with frowny-eye sadface tail lights.
This is what happens when you mirror a fixture instead of doing the right thing and duplicating it the right way around on the other side. How would the Belgians feel about this!? 
Aesthetics
Cute, perky and makes me want to ride it all day long yes there’s too much innuendo in this segment it’s a Chips thing ever since I offered him le succ if he gave me a good RNG roll in the last Collector’s Auction. He declined.
Impact
yes I picked MLP specially for you, suffer
Construction
Probably the weakest part, as there are a few shortcuts and loose ends (even wing tips notwithstanding). The headlight construction and lower front fascia could do some work
Coherence
It knows what it’s about to be sure.
Verdict
This is a really promising looking car. As it stands I can’t simply import it into Beam and work on the tuning so technically it doesn’t meet my originally specified standards, but, as you may have already noticed, the other two cars I passed kind of didn’t either. So in this one goes, because I actually like it.
Chips had another car, a collab entry, but that one had a mod issue so while we work on that, let’s go down the list…
Lynx Caracal
Choice quote from @mart1n2005:
my body is ready for the bin
You too huh? At this rate we’re gonna have a giant bin orgy 
Anyway you never know until the test comes back positive so here we go!
I thought this was missing a badge, turned out Martin just removed it oop.
This is a very interesting idea, but the headlight to DRL ratio is a bit awkward (I’ll tell you now this is a recurring theme). I like bravery, but at this level it does need to be backed up by execution.
This is like that awkward bit where you meet your cute quirky crush from online and you don’t know what to say so you sit there for like 3 hours not saying anything and wondering wtf you were thinking and maybe it’s just you?
(Ignore the lift plate sticking through the body Automation just do be like that sometimes)
I’ve just realised that the super-cool LYNX lettering has gone missing. For proper photoscene effect, a recap of what was posted before:
This is actually an awesome idea. I don’t agree with a couple of the fixtures (the lip ends sticking up like that hmmmmm) and I reckon those exhaust tips should have been a bit further out but that last one is being extremely nitpicky.
I’m just not quite as sure about this. Again the idea is brave, but the proportion of the fin to the wing is a bit off. Also I’ve been noticing that a lot of people are using a certain scoop that ends quite abruptly midway down the window, and was hoping that people would do more to address this (like I habitually do).
This is what happens when you scale up shiny flat fixtures: it crinkles and doesn’t look good here, or in Beam. A recurrent issue in this challenge.
Sectioned windows and sliding segments are super cool and totally in since suddenly everyone’s trying to one-up the McLaren F1 again, but the challenge is making it work with the window. This one looks more like an afterthought.
Aesthetics
Right off the quirky scale. I admire braveness, even if it doesn’t always work.
Impact
Like trying to consume a Baguette from the wrong end. “But the ends of a Baguette are the same!” I hear you say. But I wasn’t referring to the Baguette’s ends.
What I mean is that it’s niche and rather an acquired taste that takes time. If I really wanted to shove something up my butt I wouldn’t be wasting such a precious thing as bread in these difficult times. That’s what Bad Dragon is for.
Construction
Again, a few things not paid due attention and rather bare sides expose a lack of care in the detail work. I’ll add that the model I received, missing mod notwithstanding, was actually inferior to how the draft looked in the photos…
Coherence
I didn’t even think about Coherence when studying this whacky work.
Verdict
Unfortunately this one doesn’t pass muster. It’s technically a , due to many things just not quite coming together and some things lacking care. But I like the idea, and I don’t know if Martin submitted anything else yet, so I will use my discretion to rescue you from the impending bin orgy.
Mart1n2005’s bin count: 0
Note to self: possibly wait until one doesn’t have bengis on the brain before writing these things. Or don’t, it’s possibly more fun this way.