Baaah, such an unneccessary goof ruining it all, and the car was actually competetive, that hurts twice.
Funny storytelling, but how the f…ck am I supposed to include THAT in my brand’s lore? 
Reviews Round 2
BACK FROM THE DEAD BABY WOOOOOOOOOO
Arby’s, somwhere in Florida
“Eugene, why are we eating at Arby’s of all places?” Kenneth asked.
“You know, Arby’s gets a bad rep.” Eugene said while eating the chain’s signature roast beef sandwich, “But it’s not actually bad once you try it.”
Eugene’s statement is interrupted by a hiccup, as if something had happened inside him. Opening his mouth, a mysterious creature that looked like an intestine emerged from within Eugene’s throat.
“Arby’s.” said the creature.
Eugene began convulsing, falling from his seat and rolling on the floor.
“Me [redacted] heart stopped!” Eugene cried.
Kenneth and his colleague looked at Eugene, knowing that he had it coming. After fighting for his life for about two minutes, Eugene fell unconscious, presumably in a life-threatening condition.
“Well, that’s what you get for eating at Arby’s.” Kenneth’s yet-to-be-named colleague said, “Anyway Kenneth, let’s sort through more car magazines to see what you may want to get. Might wanna get out of here, too.”
“Alright.”
Miller Imola GT/E
They first car the two looked at was the Imola. The car looked quite stubby and wasn’t much of a sports car compared to other cars in the market. However, reviewers praised the car for being very comfortable, which is always a plus.
SVP Hellblazer GT Night Shadow
Next up was the Hellblazer. From a distance it looked like a cool and competent sports coupe. While the car really was competent, Kenneth was not swayed by the cer’s rather plain and uninspiring looks. Kenneth though hard about the Hellblazer and decided that he should look at the other cars for the time being.
Courageux Virage - Turbo
The next car the two looked at was the Virage. The Virage was a stunner, looking like a rocket ship that can take them to Mars. Though the car was a little old compared to the other cars, it still had a lot to offer in terms of performance and handling. It may not be the most powerful but the car made up for it by being lightweight.
Brindley West Coast Turbo Coupe
The next car was the Brindley. The two wondered what it was doing in a magazine featuring sports cars. It was the cheapest of the bunch, sure. But if anything, it is one of the coupes of all time. Nothing worth noting except for how un-sporty and boring it is.
Tauscher 260T Turbo
The next car was the Tauscher. The car was absolutely gorgeous and timeless from every angle. It was monsterous, producing a gargantuan 425hp. Even so, the car was both fun to drive while being decently comfortable. Despite all this, there was one serious flaw: the front suspension geometry, which gave the front wheels positive camber. Good for stability, but not for sports cars like the Tauscher.
Monarch - Chaleere Turbo AWD
The next car was the Monarch. It was a striking design and certainly one of the most creative uses of the Starion body. While the car’s power output is second only to the Tauscher, it offers average stats while being the 2nd most unreliable car of the bunch.
Markley Palomino SST
Next up was the Palomino. The Palomino is one of the cheapest cars this round, mainly due to its use of a solid axle in the rear, and a good old OHV V8. Because of the solid rear axle, however, the Palomino suffers from poor comfort and sportiness. If this round were about budget sports cars, the Palomino might take the crown. But not here, unfortunately.
Authié et Dallier 6/26 Coupé
Next up was the Dallier. It is the third most comfortable car (only 0.3 points below 2nd place) and has average stats across the board, with the exception of having the worst corrosion resistance due to the use of a bare steel chassis.
Turból F4 4xA
Next was the Turbol. Given its relatively low pricepoint, the Turbol smashes the crowd in terms of drivability and sportiness, offering lots of technology and performance for the price while also being the most reliable car despite being a 5-year old design. Despite this, the car looks quite dated and a tad too aggressive for Kenneth’s tastes. It is also not as comfortable as other cars but then again, this looks like a hardcore sports car.
Wolfe E320 GT
Next up was the Wolfe. Kenneth liked its teutonic style. It has good drivability, sportiness, and comfort along with the highest safety rating among the other cars. Despite its looks, however, the Wolfe only has two seats even though there is enough space in the cabin for two rear seats.
Macht Teuton 455 SLi Kompakt Sportpaket
Next up was the Teuton. Although it is among the safest cars, it is also the least comfortable to ride. Its design is not the best either, featuring a round body with straight lines and sharp angles. The various design elements on this car do not flow together very well, especially that trapezoid looking thing on the door. The roofline is also a tad tall. While this is an issue with the body itself, there are plenty of alternatives that would suit this design better.
FMC Colibri Fastback SC
Next up was the FMC. The FMC’s body was too rounded which makes it look like a late 80s car instead of an 1984 car. The design is flat, with little to excite the senses. Stats and performance are about average as well.
Mayland Imperator 3.8GT
Next up was the Imperator. Despite its relatively high price tag, it does not offer much more than its cheaper competitors. The car looks solid from the back, but its front fascia looks like it came from a cheap eonobox. This also contributes to the front 3/4 looking rather empty.
SAETA Montaraz
Next up was the SAETA. Though its engine is the least powerful of the bunch, the SAETA is also the lightest car, wighing in qt 842kg. For a car like this, it offers good drivability and comfort as well as sportiness. The car is also full of attention to detail. However, the SAETA suffers from low safety ratings due to the use of 70s safety tech.
BMA '84 Mistral 540
Next up was the Mistral. Its design is too far ahead of its time, much like other entries using this body. While drvability is higer than average, sportiness is low while comfort is average. Hydraulic ball steering is also not good for a relatively sporty car like this.
Wells Sidewinder Turbo
Next up was the Sidewinder. Kenneth liked the front design and the red and black stripe running through the car. However, he was not a fan of the rear which did not suit the rest of the car’s design. To make things worse, it has low drivability and sportiness. Itmay be one of the cheapest cars, sure. But Kenneth was still not convinced by this value proposition.
Benetsch Blitz Turbo 31
Next up was the Blitz. Like the Hellblazer, it is almost all-black but Kenneth thinks that the Blitz pulled the design off much better. Compared to the other cars, it is the most comfortable while being decently sporty and surprisingly fuel efficient as well. All this for a lower-than-average price.
Swanson 955P
Next up was the Swanson. Despite being mid-engined, the Swanson has very good drivability. However, this is achieved by 245mm tyres in the rear and 185mm tyres up front. Its engine is also a comically large 5.5l six-cylinder engine. The design is not the best either, looking like a confused bar of soap that is full of triangles and sharp edges.
Resuki Rift GTS
Next up was the Resuki. Unlike other entries that used this particular body, this still manages to look quite period-accurate. Despite this, the car still looks quite odd with its very wide front offset and narrow rear offset, and that molding on the door. The sportiness stat is also not as high as other midships, which puts this car at a disadvantage.
After looking through the magazines, Kenneth shortlisted some cars that he’d take a look at. The next day, he visited dealerships, drove the cars, and came up with a final verdict:
Results
Congratulations to @donutsnail for winning this round of JOC! With its good combination of strengths, this car woos both the head and the heart. Truly, the perfect car for Kenneth’s current crisis!
JOC2D zip.zip (80.3 KB)
More rankings will be released as necessary
I apologize for the delay, and hopefully this can make up for it.
Epilogue
And with that, Kenneth embarked on his journey to escape from his doubts and feelings. Eventually, after several years, Kenneth figured out who he really was and what he wanted from his ever-shortening life. After flying his last space mission in 1994, Kenneth ended his service at NASA and moved to California where he opened a flight school. Being a healthy man, Kenneth taught at the school through his old age, driven by his passion for flying in the skies.
In 2015, Kenneth died peacefully of natural causes in his home. He lived his life to his fullest, reaching and actually getting to the stars he had dreamed of when he was young. He will be sorely missed by those close to him.
14 Likes
Not an unexpected win for him (his third of a possible four in this JOC), although the SAETA nearly pulled off an upset against the F4, which had the name of a fighter jet (and the looks and performance to match).
And thank you for delivering a satisfactory (and satisfying) conclusion to this JOC! I have never seen better writing from you, and that’s some sweet icing on a tasty cake.
But what about Kenneth’s children, if he has any? They could be the subject of another JOC - not necessarily the next one, though. At least Kenneth himself got the car he deserved, and eventually managed to live out the last two decades of his life in peace and happiness.
Oh my God, you killed Kenneth!
(You Bastard!)
Honestly though he had like 3-4 more good JOC’s in him, so really not sure why you felt like that was a good idea.
All hosts made him live a brilliant life.
Being an old man myself who made quite a journey in his life, I am not offended. It’s reality. There will come a certain point where most of our trip is behind us and the destination is in sight.
4 Likes
I feel that I have to step in here and say a little word.
Now, I am not the one that feel that everything has to be heavily regulated, but you do have a point here.
This was maybe not from the rule set from the original JOC, but from Banned’s suggestions since the challenge was his idea, and as a host for the first JOC, I agreed with him, only with this addition
So. In my eyes it is borderline stepping out of the original ruleset to end the life of a character without asking the host for the next round for permission first. If the host-to-be wants to end the current JOC and move to a new character, sure, then I guess either the last host or the next one could write the epilogue to close up the JOC (which could be agreed upon between the old and the new host, which one that should do it).
Now, I don’t really think that what is done now is a disaster, I feel like it is already done and we don’t need Zombie Kenneth returning to pull off a JOC2E. But I think that it is worth thinking about in the future. Maybe the winner (or whoever the next host will be) had laid out plans for continuing with the current character and then it is not a very nice thing to kill it off.
But JOC is still a fairly fresh challenge form, so hey, some learning by doing in the first rounds might as well be hard to avoid, so not looking to start a fight here, just giving some opinions, being the one pulling off the challenge form (even though the idea in itself wasn’t mine).
5 Likes
So maybe like abg said, the next round can possibly be picked up by Kenneths kids…if he had any? Who knows, maybe a relative finding the car in a barn or sum shit and restoring it…but that would be on some ARM shit. Maybe a kid or relli selling the car to a nice prospective buyer and then using those funds to add to what has been saved already to start a new JOC?
Anywhoo, im glad Kenneth (rip) didnt think my car was a complete turd, you will be missed!!
Hilbert trying not to miss the brief entirely challenge (impossible) 
1 Like
If Kenneth deserved another round in this JOC, one more would have been enough - it would have been about a big luxurious barge (some time in the late-90s to early-00s) to keep him comfortable and satisfied for the last few years of his life. If not, I think his JOC ended with a bang, given that 3-4 rounds is what a typical JOC needs.
He didn’t because he was gay …again.
Ohhhhh shit, my bad…
Welp🤷🏿♂️
Well, gay people did exist back then, but nobody noticed because they had to hide. I had gay friends decades ago - and still have - and they were many. Many more than most would have thought.
Nowadays, as I already mentioned I am among the older here, that transgender/genderfluid stuff is honestly irritating me, but I have no right to judge the way of life of others as it doesnt affect me at all.
So why not telling biographies that were unusual?
How about a self-confident woman that likes power cars? Or a guy in a wheelchair, buying vans? The more diverse, the more interessing.
It’s all well and good until you realize it’s a biological dead end. In the case of our little competition run it makes for extremely narrow writing logic when dealing with FAMILY cars.
Honestly as a conservative person, idgaf what someone does that doesn’t affect me or mine, but the theme keeps reoccurring on this forum and I think it should in general match the actual market. Statistically speaking, it isn’t how vehicles like the minivan were concocted. You need a wife and 2.5 kids know what I mean?
Edit: I mean think about it I had to resort to surfboards and model rockets to write in a reason to do a 70’s luxo machine.
I don’t think it really restricts writing logic. If you want your gay character/couple to have children, just have them adopt like in real life; or like you did in your round, come up with a more unique story for why they want said car (I personally liked the surfboards/model rockets premise a lot, it seemed really interesting).
And anyway, not every JOC character has to buy a family car at some point. More diverse and unorthodox characters/stories lead to more unique and interesting car lineups, which to me is a big part of what makes challenges like these fun in the first place (and why I wish I had more time to participate in them).
I can pick up JOC3A. Anybody got any inputs on what the new character should be like, and all that?
4 Likes
Had quite a few American or British characters so far. What about a Japanese car buyer in the 1950’s? Taxation classes and size restrictions could be interesting then
4 Likes
Or a life story that at least starts out a bit further off the path of ‘man has a great traditional career with or without a family’.
Or give the new protagonist some character ‘quirks’ that stay with them during life and influence car choice (without being too limiting).
a family with an interest in racing would be great.
Start off with a bootlegger, get some 60’s drag racing (something we’ve missed in JOC, IMO) some SCCA, etc, end with an old grandfather that just finished a shifter kart for his grandson and needs to haul it to and from the track, etc.
Or this just came to me, maybe a German family that hangs out at the Nurburgring and likes to get down on the weekends.