Having escaped from hell and returning to the hill, I find salen00b bent over tying wizzys ankle to something. Being a gentleman, I wait for him to stand up, then decaptate him with a chainsaw. MY HILL!!
I notice KingJanic has a hill.
I move the hill to a better spot. And put a Llama on it. I am the Llama. MY HILL!
After getting my head checked from the concussion I received from falling off the hill during transport, I grab my trusty chainsaw and gut the llama. I then use the meat to make burgers to feed my new moose bodyguards! MY HILL!!
Moose? takes out bolt action rifle Headshot Mr Moose! Oh look, I killed Janic and the moose in 1 shot! My Hill!
I was about to make a post after Absurdist, but KingJanic beat me to it, so I decided to take my previous post that I was going to make, and change it around so it involved KingJanic too. So here goes! 
I steal Absurdist’s Dad’s 30-year-old Peugeot bicycle, ride it to the top of the hill and stop behind Wizzy.
I poke him and quickly hide behind the bicycle. Wizzy tries to ram me but instead ploughed into the beautiful Peugeot masterpiece. (Not knowing that I attached spikes to the frame of the bicycle)
I watch as he tumbles down the hill with three small holes in his head and into the middle of a stupid bus lane.
Absurdist runs to the hurt Wizzy and retrieves the bicycle.
Since Absurdist has gone to buy some spray to clean his bicycle, and Wizzy is in no state to be fighting for the hill at this stage, I decide to make my stand at the top of the hill and declare myself KING!
Just for the record, this post was meant for Janic’s moose, but since Wizzy posted before I could, I decided to just change my post slightly. Every time you find the word ‘Wizzy’, if you replace it with ‘the moose’, you can almost get my original post.
It was also meant to include something about KingJanuc, but since he’s dead, I just took it out. 
A really hot nurse revives me and I get back up the hill straight away, briniging my sawn-off shotgun. Click clack POW pleb. Muerta baby! MY HILL!
You just thought I was dead, but as I lay there, broken and bleeding, the blood of the moose that was on the bullet mixed with my own. Before I realized what was happening, I regenerated into a new form. I am… THE WEREMOOSE!!! 
I proceed to bludgeon Wizzy to death with my majestic antlers and then throw back my beautiful head and make moose noises loudly.
insert amazing picture of Mose silhouette on hill in front of a full moon
EDIT 1: I found a moose noises gif!
I’m sorry, I’m not even going to try and take the hill off you.
That was the best. Post. Ever.
thanks pleb 
While pleb licks Janics buttocks, I kick both of them off and claim the hill. Easiest. Hill. Claim. Ever.
After KingJanic discovered the Weremooses, I assemble an army of domesticated ones to take back the hill for me.
I am now king of the hill.
I saved a copy of the Hill after my last post.
I just load the file and so it replaces everything.
Last post now is :
[quote]My dying soul activated an auto-cloning device in my evil island. Now fresh as a daisy, I hack my satellite’s systems to get its control back. As those fools damaged my ray gun, I sacrifice my satellite by crashing it on the Hill, thus killing WizzyThaMan.
Now I build a giant fortified base inside the Hill. I am King of Hill Base 2442 and shut its doors so nobody comes in.
I finally set a minefield atop the Hill, waiting for someone to try it.[/quote]
I hack the file and replace Kev with myself. My Hill And I put up the Great Firewall of Automation, so I’m unhackable.
I hack again the system using a calculator, because the Firewall was set up by a team of monkeys, and teleport the hill to Italy leaving a flaming crater in place, I’m the King of the Great Italian Hill
Italian hills erupt (etna, vesuvius) And Enry Burns to death. I get back on another higher hill and claim it mine.
I re hack the system using enrys loophole to transport the hill back to where it was originally and get my WEREMOOSE powers back and then headbutt Wizzy off the steep side of the hill and REIGN AS KING!!!
You forgot that you lost your powers since the saved Hill loading. This way, Wizzy survived and we teamed up to kick your ass !
Wizzy, I trust you. Don’t let me down for your own good. May we rule the Hill together.
What does that sound like? 
I use my regained powers to eat Kev and Wizzy and end this ‘ruling together’ nonsense. I am the ONLY KING!
It seems that I’ve got memory problems !
So…
I use my newfound Alzheimer to forget that you’ve taken my crown. So technically, I am the King.
Or so I think…
I drive my Left Wheel Drive car up the hill, sadly, the fact the power is all to the left makes me go right into Kev2442 and then KingJanic killing them instantly.
I then stop to assemble my Ikea throne with the help of the tool and plan they gave with it.
My hill.