KSAC 1: A mule for mom (FINALS!)

MrdjaNikolen · 6 March 2025 16:44

Background

14th January 2006, Hammeltau Home

Well, it seems it is time for me to go to my job. Some car advertisements need to be made and…i kinda have deadlines to meet.
Can i go?
No
Please?
No

Female part of family had some friction of their own

MOOOM! I have nothing to wear.
You have entire wardrobe filled with clothes.
But none of it match my style for today
We are merely going to have some neighbors paying us a visit.
But mom, i want to look pretty.

Another child joined the chat

Shame that clothing cant do anything about fact its you that would be wearing them
Fuck you, Mat.
Mom, dad said i could go with him today on job.
Oh really?
HUBBY, MAT WANTS TO GO WITH YOU ON JOB
AWARE AND ANSWER IS NO
DAAAD! I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR.
NOT MY PROBLEM, TALK TO MOM.
BUT DAAAD

Shouting would no longer be needed, as dad had moved towards her bedroom and closer to rest of family in said bedroom

Best i can offer is bleached Kolondra shirt from 2000 that has residue of oil, paint, atleast two mysterious substances and is bleached as your mom once forgot to put it with proper clothes.
And no, i do not intend to suggest any pants of mine… for such clothes hanger as you, they might as well be akin to emergency parachute
Not funny, Mat. slapping her giggly brother
You have this dress. mom shows the dress to girl
I wore it on New Year celebration of 2005. My friend commented that it has yucky color.
My honest comment on that is…Mat, dont slap your sister
I will not slaps her anyway from now.

Mom excused herself

Just LOOK at all of this chaos. Hubby, why are you walking around the house IN BOOTS?!?
Was preparing for the job…until these two interrupted me.
No, we didnt
Yes, you did sister.
NO

Mrs. Hammeltau decided to not deal with it any longer.

ENOUGH! EVERYONE, OUT OF HOUSE!
Someone is pissed off…
I will need whole day to clean this MESS. Ofc im pissed.
Happily will go with dad. Who knows what kind of cool cars we will be able to see.
Likely red, blue and grey.

Mr. Hammeltau thought to say no for fourth time, but phone text message from coworker interrupted him

Where are you man? Deadlines need to be met.
Also, that new girl janitor? Hot as hell, but about as stupid as it comes. She toppled shelf with oil in service workshop, now whole thing is a mess. She is silently crying since.

Would you mind if i brought my younglings to help with that?
Youngwhat? Oh, kids…i dunno…would be more useful than her anyway.
Expect us on the way
I guess three of us will be on our way.
THREE?!? I never said anything about going with you.
Well, i guess i may appreciate hanging out with my daughter as well. Might even swing by that pizza place on the way back.
Deal.
Just make sure to wear something you wouldnt mind geting dirty.

She decided to wear the dress, ignoring last sentence.
They packed into car and went on merry way, but not before mom slipped some clothes in similar state as shirt mentioned before…mom DID NOT ignore last sentence.

Same day, Kolondra Stockholm Service and Sales Center

One sad crouched female figure squatted in the snow. Did so in moment Hammeltau trio arrived, atleast.

I do not recall installing a statue here
Neither do i…

Mat decided to examine the statue, who raised her gaze towards him.
He got startled.

Uhm, yeah…she does that sometimes.
Why do i smell motor oil in the air?
Well, sis, they also have fully equipped workshop. Must be that.

It wasnt just that.
Kids were groaning, but got to work. Girl did appreciate that big, old Kolondra shirt now and swapped in spare pair of work pants of crying janitor.
Statue also joined in, after cold overcame her sadness over her big mistake.
Dad left them at that and got to his job, joined by Mat after spill got under control. Remaining Hammeltau would be consoling trouble-maker janitor and making sure she isnt becoming a giant icicle.

I will need to go on meeting, make sure to not touch anything until i come back. You are allowed to just play games.
Clear?
Clear

However, Mat will be more than happy to encounter some draft…and put his touch into it

Kolondra Stockholm Service and Sales Center

BEST CAR EVER – 2006 SAGUARO PUTNIK CITY 1.6 LAUREATE ALLROAD!!!

Specs

Yo, guys, listen up! This is THE car you NEED!! The 2006 Saguaro Putnik City 1.6 Laureate AllRoad is the coolest, most epic AWD adventure machine EVER!

First off – ALL-WHEEL DRIVE!! Mud? Snow? Gravel? Who cares! This thing GOES EVERYWHERE!! You don’t need a stupid SUV when you have this absolute BEAST.
Check out the pics i made with my dad when we went into mountains last week

Editor note 1: Mat, is that you? Can you please get off dad`s WORK PC?

AND IT’S A STICK SHIFT!! A 5-speed manual so you can actually DRIVE LIKE A BOSS instead of just pressing a pedal like a boring person.

Under the hood? 1.6L Inline-4, pumping out 101 HP at 5500 RPM! You might not win a drag race against a Ferrari, but this baby still HITS 174 km/h!! And 0-100 km/h in 11.9 seconds? THAT’S FAST ENOUGH TO FEEL COOL!!

Space? HUGE! You get 1020 liters of trunk space and 4420 liters of passenger space!! Camping? Moving stuff? Carrying your game console and ALL your snacks? EASY.

Editor note 2: Definitely Mat…

Tough? HECK YES! The body is galvanized steel, and it’s built to last FOREVER. You could probably drive this thing through a wall and be fine (don’t actually do that, duh).

Editor note 3: Safety equipment IS up to standards required by competitiveness and law. But, no, we do not approve of going through walls with this, or any other, vehicle.

AND THE BEST PART? It’s only $15,600!! This is the BEST DEAL EVER for an adventure-ready car that can take you ANYWHERE. Service costs? Only $732.1 – that’s like, what, mowing a few lawns or something?

If you want a boring minivan, get outta here. But if you want a car that’s COOL, FUN, and makes you feel like a RALLY DRIVER, go get a SAGUARO PUTNIK CITY 1.6 LAUREATE ALLROAD RIGHT NOW!!!

#AWDChampion #SaguaroPower #BestCarEver #PutnikFTW

Reaction

Editor was having quite a bit of dilemma upon receiving new ad from computer of his Hammeltau colleague.
On one hand, he was aware that Mat has history of “writing” ads and wasnt exactly the expert. Also this clearly wasnt professional: game console? i made these pics with my dad?
Sounds like child wrote it…technically true as Mat is like…10?
On other hand, it IS rather funny. Some customers might be into that.

- Could be worse…atleast Mat now knows how to read. Approved.

                                            **Meeting**

Oh, it seems we have another ad ready to go. We shall look at it now.
Who made it, boss? I thought all of us gathered here.
Mat Hammeltau.
Mat…i thought…oh.

There was fair bit of giggles upon encountering the ad.

I had explicitly told him that he shall not interfere with business. Thought he will stay in internet browser.
Likely expecting too much. Ad isnt bad, however.
Agreed. It has that youthful energy
No shit, Sherlock, it was written by 10y old.

Daughter sent an update on how she and her newfound friend are doing

Dad, its me, just texting from her phone. I know you are probably doing something important, but we accidentally dropped nail polish in female bathroom. She is crying again.

Not AGAIN
Mr. Hammeltau, can you explain why are you looking at your phone? Also, whats the matter?
My daughter and that janitor spilled nail polish in female bathroom.
Thankfully we are not keeping entire shelf of the stuff there

everybody chuckled

To return to ad…i guess its fine. Just dont expect him to be paid for that work.
Yeah, i recall much worse.
They will be paid for assistance of oily nature, however.
Cant wait for daughter spending it on clothes she doesnt need
Such are girls.

Well Mat, you are now in evidence of “advertisement writers” in company. Ad for Saguaro Putnik City was funny enough to be accepted.
…I…didnt expect that would actually send onwards. It was in Drafts…
DAAAD, Pizza place is in next few kilometers. Im HUNGRY.
Sure, i guess we all deserved it today…