Update: I’m having computer issues that are keeping me from finishing the last results page; that’s why it’s taking so long (and might take a bit longer).
The results page will still come, tho. Just call this a… pause for effect. (:
5 Likes
Alright, well, that was a pain of a wait. But it’s over now.
Category 3: "Pleasantness"
A car can be fast, and look cool, and even carry an industrial quantity of groceries, but a kingdom is always remembered by how it treats its subjects. Any coolness these minivans hold will quickly start to fall apart if it is an absolute hell to live with. So when we actually meet these heroes, how well do they hold up?
As it happens, a few specific vans dominated this lineup, with one in particular soaring way ahead of the others. All the contestants did well here, no doubt; but a few did best.
Best Comfort: 43.6 - Taimania Bellstorm DSR (10pts)
2nd: 40.9 - Hinode Aries RS (7pts)
3rd: 34.9 - Airman Vandenberg GT8 (5pts)
4th: 33.0 - Asteria MoVe GTS (3pts)
5th: 32.1 - Mara Reyndzher Kolektyv AMM MPV8 (2pts)
6th: 30.8 - Tiffosi Famic CRe (1pts)
Best Drivability: 74.8 - Taimania Bellstorm DSR (10pts)
2nd: 74.0 - Mara Reyndzher Kolektyv AMM MPV8 (7pts)
3rd: 73.8 - Hinode Aries RS (5pts)
4th: 70.5 - Armor AM-Van (3pts)
5th: 70.4 - Airman Vandenberg GT8 (2pts)
6th: 63.6 - Tiffosi Famic CRe (1pts)
Best Smoothness: 86.1 - Hinode Aries RS (10pts)
2nd: 73.6 - Sinistra Thunder THR V10 (7pts)
3rd: 61.4 - Armor AM-Van (5pts)
4th: 58.2 - Airman Vandenberg GT8 (3pts)
5th: 55.0 - Asteria MoVe GTS (2pts)
6th: 50.6 - Mara Reyndzher Kolektyv AMM MPV8 (1pts)
Lowest Loudness: 28.3 - Hinode Aries RS (10pts)
2nd: 31.1 - Mara Reyndzher Kolektyv AMM MPV8 (7pts)
3rd: 33.1 - Airman Vandenberg GT8 (5pts)
4th: 35.5 - Tiffosi Famic CRe (3pts)
5th: 36.8 - Armor AM-Van (2pts)
6th: 38.2 - Sinistra Thunder THR V10 (1pts)
Highest Prestige: 50.3 - Sinistra Thunder THR V10 (5pts)
2nd: 49.9 - Armor AM-Van (4pts)
3rd: 47.3 - Hinode Aries RS (3pts)
4th: 43.4 - Asteria MoVe GTS (2pts)
5th: 40.9 - Airman Vandenberg GT8 (1pts)
Lowest Service Costs: $818.9 - Mara Reyndzher Kolektyv AMM MPV8 (5pts)
2nd: $1111.4 - Tiffosi Famic CRe (4pts)
3rd: $1224.6 - Taimania Bellstorm DSR (3pts)
4th: $1313.9 - Airman Vandenberg GT8 (2pts)
5th: $1397.0 - Asteria MoVe GTS (1pts)
Total Pleasantness Ranking:
1st: 35pts - Hinode Aries RS
2nd: 23pts - Taimania Bellstorm DSR
3rd: 22pts - Mara Reyndzher Kolektyv AMM MPV8
4th: 18pts - Airman Vandenberg GT8
5th: 14pts - Armor AM-Van
6th: 13pts - Sinistra Thunder THR V10
7th: 9pts - Tiffosi Famic CRe
8th: 8pts - Asteria MoVe GTS
Indeed, just as it had done in the Sportiness category, the Aries managed a landslide victory in the Pleasantness category, scoring top 3 in almost every area except service costs (where it came 7th). It especially did well with its engine, as it won the Engine Loudness and Smoothness categories by a rather decent margin.
But while it may have cleaned out this category point-wise, it wasn’t the only remarkable player here. For one, after repeatedly underperforming in the preceding rounds, the Bellstorm finally showed its strengths, having the best comfort and drivability in the field. The Kolektyv also played a strong hand, not only by being 2nd best at drivability and loudness, but having exceptionally low service costs (818.9)!
On the opposite end of the spectrum, the Thunder’s service costs dwarfed everyone else’s, being $900 higher than the nearest competitor (at $2475.3!), though its smoothness and prestige were pretty impressive. And the MoVe, which has been performing pretty decently average so far, revealed that its beautiful bodywork was hiding (relatively) poor drivability and loudness.
Though again, all of these cars are impressive. People have different ideas and standards on what they consider pleasant, and many of these cars have their audience. But for this scoreboard’s standards, The Aries makes the strongest case in this category.
3 Likes
Seating Bonus:
12pts - Airman Vandenberg GT8
12pts - Asteria MoVe GTS
10.5pts - Taimania Bellstorm DSR
10.5pts - Mara Reyndzher Kolektyv AMM MPV8
10.5pts - Armor AM-Van
10.5pts - Sinistra Thunder THR V10
10.5pts - Tiffosi Famic CRe
9pts - Hinode Aries RS
Almost all cars here had either a 5+3 or 7 seat arrangement, which amounted to the same score. The Move and Vandenberg went a bit further with 8 seats each, and the Aries lagged a bit behind, with 4+3 seating. 4+3 is what you get in a real-life Honda Odyssey though, so it’s not like any of these cars are lacking in any way.
3 Likes
Since you already have all the numbers to do the math yourself, no point in holding off on the final score reveal.
Final Score:
1st: 117pts - Hinode Aries RS.
Though it didn’t look like much at first, It’s outright claimed 2 of the 4 categories for itself! And it did pretty well in the other 2; even its weakest showing was 5th place, in Usefulness. A car with few weaknesses and some pretty strong strengths, it is exceptionally well engineered and suited to this challenge. Good job mate!
@S_U_C_C_U_L_E_N_T
2nd: 96.5pts - Sinistra Thunder THR V10
This car stands out like a shooting star, and can perform to match. Its much a similar story to the Aries, dominating 2 of the categories; except, unlike the Aries, it does have some pretty strong weaknesses. It struggled to place at all in Usefulness, and fell pretty far behind in Prettiness too. Still, it’s one of the most interesting cars here, and has definitely earned its position.
@Madrias
3rd: 93pts - Asteria MoVe GTS
In contrast to the highly specialized Thunder, The MoVe is a very balanced car with a very even scoresheet, always getting 24 or 25 points each category (except in Pleasantness, where it couldn’t keep up with its competitors). And this consistent “pretty good” allowed it to sneak its way to the top 3. It may not be the best contestant here, but it definitely makes a strong case; and ended up as my personal favorite, too.
@the-chowi
4th: 83.5 - Armor AM-Van
This brutish exterior hides a very well engineered and refined van, with some very impressive performance figures beyond just straight-line acceleration. And while it didn’t excel in the Usefulness or Pleasantness categories, it did hold its own; safety, reliability, and prestige are some of its strengths. It may be let down by its design, but it did achieve what it was going for, and is definitely worth shouting about.
@GassTiresandOil
5th: 75 - Airman Vandenberg GT8
This car displays some of the most character, and does a lot of things right. Unfortunately, it never really excels anywhere beyond its looks, nor does it excel in enough areas to net a broad score base. It’s certainly a good car, but it just couldn’t keep up with the others.
@nightwave
6th: 74.5 - Mara Reyndzher Kolektyv AMM MPV8
Probably the most “conservative” design here (and certainly the cheapest), the Kolektyv focuses on excelling in the same areas that real minivans do; it’s very Pleasant and the most Useful. Plus, it is by far the cheapest. The unremarkable styling and poor sportiness let it down however, and it ends up being too “minivan,” and not “sport minivan” enough. While it is a good minivan, this is unfortunately a “sport minivan” competition.
@AndiD
7th: 65.5 - Tiffosi Famic CRe
The Famic had a good idea going here, bringing compact European sense to the table. And it did very much have its advantages, with good costs, great practicality and insanely good fuel economy. But I’m afraid it doesn’t have enough advantages to get it very far; It isn’t sporty enough to outmaneuver the bigger vans, Pretty enough to stand out from them, or Pleasant enough to make up for it all. It is a sensible car, but it regrettably doesn’t fit the scoreboard’s tastes.
@fasmukji
8th: 62.5 - Taimania Bellstorm DSR
Despite looking identical to the winner, the Bellstorm is ironically the lowest scoring car here. It went for a more refined, luxurious style, which was a great idea, but the final product just doesn’t have very many things going for it, other than its comfort & drivability; and what it does have (costs, economy, safety) has usually been done better by another contestant. I love this car and what it tried to do, (and it would almost definitely humiliate most vans on the market in real life), but it just doesn’t seem to have fully achieved its goal.
@desperatedonut5
And with that we have our winners! They will receive their certificate shortly.
I’m so glad I could see and judge this wonderful collection of cars. Thank ya’ll so much for participating! (:
10 Likes
I’ll admit, I was not expecting second place here. Apparently, the Hot-Wheels inspired minivan had at least enough strength in looks and performance to make up for the lack of useful capabilities and the fact that it’s a bit hard to live with it.
As for service costs, well, I expected that. A large V10 crammed into the nose of a minivan, packing enough power to outright murder the front tires, wearing brakes powerful enough to haul it down in a hurry, it’s all going to cost a significant amount to maintain.
That said, apparently V10 engines are smooth, and the number of cylinders gives a natural prestige bonus. Combine that with the displacement and you’ve got all the right reasons to look the other way at the fact that, in lore, the Sidewinder series of engines has some notable reliability faults.
4 Likes
Yeah, I was hoping to rack up enough points without a direct win. Apparently that didn’t play out like I thought it would.
Congrats to Succulent and the Hinode!
4 Likes