Team Less than Three (<3)
Team Less than Three is a couple here to test their love through the hardship of an automotive race, mixing their interests of cars, travelling and road rage.
The couple
Jeffery Barnes - 26 years old, Jeff is an impulsive hotheaded man that often gets tunnel visioned to one thing. The main driver of the duo. He is a mechanic by trade, and a pretty decent one at that so as long as he is not in charge of a project, as only one part of the project will get done in that case. But when something needs to be fixed, he is pretty damn good at fixing that one thing. His driving style is very aggressive, as he drives like he owns the road and would yell at people for anything that tips him off. His typical driving music is a mix of rock and dnb.
Eileen Harper - 24 years old, Eileen is the calmer of the two in most cases that is pays much more attention to the big picture. The main navigator of the duo. She is a professional freelance photographer, usually contracted out for events but has a love for photography in general. And from that, loves going to new and different places to see and take pictures of new and exciting things. She learned how to drive from Jeff, and has thusly, a sloppier version of his aggressive driving style. Also prone to yelling at people while driving despite being the calmer one, something about driving triggers something in her. Her typical driving music varies but currently has a lot of K-pop mixed in for some reason.
The Car
This was a 1991 Kuma TE Coupe, fresh out of a shed and off of craigslist. $500 flat for a ‘souped up’ Japanese sport compact, you would think this was quite a good deal. Especially with the engine swap, a 2.0L turbocharged KS200T from a later generation RS model. However, the not so perfect exterior hides a multitude of issues that put the little car down to this price. First of which, the exhaust, or rather the lack of one. It was replaced with just straight tubing and fitted with a large fartcannon tip that would no doubt wake the neighbors at night. Probably a bit over noise regs for most places too. Though if that wasn’t, the audio upgrades might put the noise complaints in. The rear seat was removed and in its place, an amplifier that seems to drain the battery due to shoddy wiring and two subwoofers, ready to blow your head off with bass. And of course, being a manual in a ricer with a manual, the clutch is worn and one front tire has noticeably less tread than the other thanks to an open differential. Brake pads weren’t in the best shape either, for that matter. To get that MAD STANCE, the springs had been cut, leaving little ground clearance to clear any offroading obstacles that may appear.
Other issues? The aftermarket plastic bumper is held up by zip ties on one side and the paint was fading, rust showing up on a few panels. Only one of the two pop-ups were actually working, rather by design or due to its age, nobody really knows. A stench of something strange came from the worn seats, and due to the aforementioned shoddy wiring, the soundsystem didn’t even work all of the time.
The Prologue
About a week or so ago…
“What do you say… we go on a trip together?” Eileen started, plopping on the couch beside Jeff. The TV was on, with the PS4 running underneath it.
“Sure thing.” Jeff answered.
Knowing Jeff absolutely did not hear a thing she said, Eileen smacked Jeff in the face with an atlas of the USA,
“Ow! Why the fuck do you have… an atlas?” Jeff looked confusingly at the book, the confusion immediately stopping him from being angry. “We have google and shit don’t we?”
“Nevermind about that! Let’s go on a trip yes?” Eileen went back to her original question.
“Yeah sure, I heard you the first time. Sounds fun. Where are we going?”
“Don’t you worry about that, I got the plans covered.” Eileen winked. “I do need you get one thing for us though.”
“Okay?”
“A $500 or less car.” Eileen stated. Jeff just stared at her in further confusion.
“$500 or less. What’s wrong with my car?” Jeff asked.
“Because, its part of the plan. A tour, with cheap cars. Come on, you keep telling me you want to get another car now I’m giving you a reason to!”
“Okay, okay, I think I get ya now. $500. I get to choose what we get though.”
“That’s right.”
“No complaining.”
“Yessirie!”
“Deal.” Jeff said, then muttered “Still have no idea the fuck is going on…”
“Like I said, don’t you worry about it.”
A day or so later.
Eileen waited at a parking lot, a mixture of nervousness and excitement as she anticipated what Jeff had bought. He was a mechanic afterall, so he should know how to pick a car. Still, cars passed by, and one by one they didn’t stop. A particularly noisy one approached soon enough however, and came into sight…
“This is it?” Eileen stared at the faded blue, winged Japanese compact car directly ahead of her. She took a picture anyways.
“Yep. Ain’t she a fuckin’ beauty.” Jeff exited and answered proudly, giving the Kuma’s fake carbon hood a slap.
“A piece of crap more like. You could have at least gotten something more… nice to look at?”
“Whoa, come on now, you take that back - whatcha expect for $500, a fuckkin’ S-Y to limo you around? I guarantee you this was a good ass deal, and probably a lot more fo-to-jen-nick than most $500 whips.” Jeff then went in and popped the hood. “Ere, look at this.”
Eileen walked over and looked at the contents under the hood. “Yup, that sure is an engine.”
“Not just an engine, a good one at that. We’re talking 250 ish horses, once I tune it up a little.” Jeff nodded to himself. Eileen meanwhile began to look over the rest of the car, not exactly impressed with the rest of it so far.
“I think there’s a bit more you should clean up on it too.”
“Yup…”
“Its only a two seater?” Eileen asked, noting the subwoofers that occupied where the rear bench would have been.
“Gotta make space for them tunes you know? Its a long drive this.” Jeff moved away from the engine bay, and hugged Eileen from behind. “Gotta
“You know, with a bench in the back we could’ve… you know… “ Eileen whispered. “Had other entertainment?”
“… Fuck, you’re right. No wait, there’s plenty of space here still we can make it work still”
“If we’re that desperate, maybe. “ Eileen giggled.
“No, it’ll work regardless, you want to try?” Jeff suggested.
“Maybe after I look over the rest of the car.” Eileen unwrapped herself from Jeff’s arms.
“Okay, but listen to this baby roar.” Jeff said, hopping back into the driver seat and turned the key. Nothing
“Hear what roar.” Eileen said with a deadpan expression.
“Okay, okay, the guy I bought this off of said it tends to drain the battery. The amp and shit. I can fix it before the trip.” Jeff admitted.
“So… add that to the list of repairs you need to do.” Eileen walked around the car, making a mental list of things to fix in the meanwhile. “Why does one tire have literally none of those little groove things that tires have?”
“Oh that. Wait, let me get the jump leads and start this thing up, you’ll see why.”
A bit later…
With the Kuma finally started up again, Jeff revved up the turbocharged engine and dropped the clutch. One tire spun up a cloud of smoke as it launched forward. With the limited space of the parking lot, Jeff pulled a handbrake turn and stopped, nearly hitting another parked car. Eileen looked at him from the passenger seat with a face of “was that necessary”.
Jeff smiled at her. “You’re making that face but I know you are absolutely about to ravage my clothes off and-”
“Just get the car fixed up.” Eileen shook her head and got out.
“Aye aye.” Jeff laughed.
A few more days later…
With the Kuma in a more working condition, Jeff returned it to the apartment’s parking lot. Eileen meanwhile had the bags ready for them, though was greeted with a few things already in the trunk.
“What’s all this stuff?” She asked.
“Its for the car, found it gets, y’know, hot. So its just in case.” Jeff answered.
“And you couldn’t fix that Mr. Mechanic?”
“Hey, I had to fix the fuckin’ electricals and the tires and make sure the rest of the engine and all the other shit works, give me some slack woman.And fyi, all of those things? They fucking work. Even the pop-ups fucking pop.”
“Okay, sorry. I don’t think I can fit everything in is all.” Eileen looked at the bags and back at the Kuma’s trunk.
“Just try I guess, here.” Jeff started stuffing the bags into the trunk. Amazingly, most of it fit though it was a pretty even split between the spares and what they needed. “Okay, let’s hit the road.”
“Wait, let’s take a selfie first.” Eileen pulled out her phone. Jeff sighed and joined. With a click, it was done and the two were in the car.
“Okay, let’s go.”
“Yup, to Seattle we go!”
As the Kuma pulled out, Jeff immediately gave it the beans, cutting a few people off right off the bat. The angry horns behind him were met with a one finger salute from him, and they headed off towards Seattle…
To Be Continued…
