REVIEWS: A FLARE FOR THE NOUGHTIES
Format Note: As with QFC37 and 48, I am adhering to the short-form review format with a 280-character cap. Non-finalist cars I want to elaborate get an X-Blue section to dispense further thoughts and advice.
A very capable two-door, but also expensive to buy and to run. The lack of a special visual or reputational “oomph” keeps it down in the midfield - and the aforementioned two doors don’t help none.
Verdict: Eliminated
This small compact is equipped with a state-of-the-art electric diff - and a state-of-the-fart electric rack. As a result, it’s expensive and shit to drive at the same time. Reliability is similarly compromised, and don’t get me started with the diesel-like power curve.
XB: That reliability and power curve are actually a result of a VGT being asked to work itself to death opposite a massively restricted intake and a cast-log exhaust.The fact that these masive system restrictions were not looked at suggest that the contestant simply didn’t pay much attention to their turbo system.
Verdict: Eliminated
The presence of a V8 on this build is sadly overshadowed by its lackluster looks (eugh, acid deep blue!), insufficient sportiness, and an as-ever-inexplicable investment in treated steel panels. To make matters worse, the V8 is still thirsty despite the high tech level.
Verdict: Eliminated
Another Treated Steelhead. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? YOU ARE NOT GOING INNA WOODS! The car itself is small, which is a good job since the pushrod six lacks any semblance of grunt. On the plus side, this is a very safe and easy to control sedan.
Verdict: Eliminated
@PhirmEgggPlant - VMC Jouster GT-Z
This thing needs Jesus. Rock bottom reliability, above $2000 in service costs, and the best-in-comp acceleratin coupled with the worst braking. Yeah, great recipe there. And with the oversteery suspension coupled with lack of ABS, this is an AWD car with only so-so drivability.
Verdict: Eliminated
The Omni is pretty much tied for first in drivability - and it looks good. There is nothing else good to say, sadly, as the wacky 4000-rpm turbo spool, overstressed internals, and quality-barren components drag it down. And yes, the panels are indeed of treated steel.
Verdict: Eliminated
Easy to drive and cheap to own (though not necessarily to buy), the Stallion is a pretty serviceable compact. It’s not a very good sports compact, however, as it’s slow, does not corner well, and sits on skinny medium tires.
Verdict: Eliminated
The Vernun shares in the Jouster’s “fast to go, slow to stop” problem - I could call them the Tesla Twins, or something. With the worst drivability in the competition, it is plainly irrelevant if this 5-cylinder maniac -gear-limited in top speed, by the way - is fast or not.
XB: It’s expected of QFCs for obvious reasons, but it’s still interesting to dissect entries that are guilty of “failing to deliver a complete package”. This one, for instance, has great power and can put it down thanks to an AWD system - but AWD doesn’t make you corner or stop any faster, so when the 215-wide medium tires are so tasked, they fail miserably. The rear brakes are massively overboosted, the steering is not variable-effort, and there isn’t even any ESC to compensate properly. And with too much stuff and not enough quality, the Vernon manages to enter the top third of cars by weight despite having all-aluminum body panels.
Verdict: Eliminated
A variable-lift V6 all-wheel-drive monster, the Sigma is nonetheless distinct from most of the other superfast entries by its great comfort, drivability, sportiness and handsome looks. It also lacks a speed limiter and will reach over 170 mph. A first-draft pick, if expensive.
Verdict: Proceeds to Finals
The aggressive-looking Nova appears well-appointed and does drive very well; however, it’s also expensive (thanks, ITBs; you’re totally worth it), not too quick on acceleration, and is made out of bare steel. Yes, even the chassis. Life expectancy? 4 years, tops.
Verdict: Eliminated
@AndiD - Mara Apogee 2.3 SEL44
Mara’s entry is predictably cheap and predictably ugly (yes, ugly, not simple). The cost and weight discipline is remarkable (<2400 lbs in weight, $15600 cost) but so is the lack of safety. You will get flattened off a rear end collision.
XB: I have to say, by making styling important I may have accidentally ruined AndiD’s bread and butter combo (low price, bang for buck, styling absent). Remind me to double down, because without styling there is no Automation.
Verdict: Eliminated
Here’s a hatch with some real gumption. VTEC four, sporty tires, a satnav, and it costs under 20 grand. That’s a package so killer, one will even forgive the aforementioned VTEC’s obvious and unrefined torque dip, or the fixed console where a fifth seat ought to be.
Verdict: Proceeds to Finals
Another budget VVL compact, and one that arguably does it better than the Hizaki in terms of power curve. Where it lacks, however, is in proper interior appointments - and generally, prestige-wise, the Delphinium may as well have “I AM CHEAP” written across the side of it.
Verdict: Eliminated
This unconventional aluminum-frame design is well-balanced, offering both sporty handling, great reliability and the best drivability of all competitors. However, it also looks real cheap - and is the slowest-accelerating car here, an ill omen for a sports compact offering.
XB: I actually do have to give oldmanbuick his flowers here: This is the sole non-manual car in the competition - sporting an advanced automatic - and though its shortfalls elsewhere prevent the Dauntless from scoring highly, this car actually has a fearsome drivability/sportiness combo of 81/30. The shockingly undersquare VVL engine, though, is a cheesefest among cheesefests - and not one that really contributes to the aforementioned stuff, either.
Verdict: Eliminated
Taut-looking. Fast. Nervy. The NTS is a rally driver’s dream - but it does have faults. The gearbox desperately wants a cruising overdrive, and not even a satnav can save you from the harshness of the overall quality of life. The Nodachi is almost a market leader - but not quite.
Verdict: Eliminated
This, however, is. The hot Archer, in its FWD V6 glory, is fast, rock-solidly dependable, not too hard to care for, and is priced reasonably. Now, it’s not the nicest inside, but smart chassis tuning allows the Cassian to be easy on its occupants regardless.
Verdict: Proceeds to Finals
The similarly-positioned and also NA V6-powered Ion may not be built like a fridge as the Archer is - but it’s lighter, sportier, and more efficient. It doesn’t look as nice - but can be had with a satnav. This battle continues to the top levels of the sports compact market.
Verdict: Proceeds to Finals
A pretty, nigh-on subcompact ankle-biter from Dalluha continues this streak of high-quality competitors. Devilishly fast, great to drive, and surging with variable-valve boxer power. Mind you, it does have all the integrity of a punctured coke can. But he who dares wins, right?
Verdict: Proceeds to Finals
The Valiant Vivus may also look promising at first glance, but a deeper dive reveals an unsporty driving experience and a too-short gearing strategy. Now, the car is comfortable, but most customers would be more comfortable not having to fork over $24,700 over for it.
Verdict: Eliminated
Another V8; another doozy. The Nocere is a properly sporty wagon - but its fit and finish is years behind, and it lacks proper driver assists to boot. The brakes are grabby, and it’s about as comfortable as having your leg amputated with a hammer. It sure is handsome, though.
XB: Flat out one of the best designs entered, probably the best one not binned. However, that comfort? It’s 8.9. Even for a 1-star priority that could serve as a minmaxer’s “drop stat”, that’s insane. The engineering is overall is outmoded and inefficient for the current game version, with exactly two points of quality assigned anywhere (the fuel system); techpool-wasting variable e-steering; overboosted brakes; and finally, a mistuned and rock-hard suspension.
Verdict: Eliminated
Boasting an unreasonably low, wide stance with very RED wing mirrors, the Faure is the canyon carver of the bunch, delivering dominant grip and braking figures over all others. Only poor practicality and a host of middling QoL results keep it out of the top of the market.
XB: It is also a demonstration of how challenges can never fully reflect market pressures… No real-life company would release a “mere” 4-cylinder coupe and then grant it the aerodynamic qualities and the tire rating to push on to an unrestricted 180 mph.
Verdict: Eliminated
The underbranded Tigre car doesn’t sound like a terrible choice, but comparing it to the Faure ST4 above humbles it. Both 2-doors - but the Tigre is less imposing and more expensive, all while being slower every-which way.
Verdict: Eliminated
This 3-door liftback boasts a rustless all-aluminum body along with the best comfort value of all entries. Unfortunately, the only moderately fast powertrain along with a predictably high price - especially coupled with a lack of any serious elan - keeps the Fury in the midcard.
Verdict: Eliminated
For the $17.500 price, the Gelinas is very fast and very maneuverable - but you still only get what you pay for. Poor drivability and, again, coke-can-like safety both contribute to this automobile’s inability to truly stand out. So do the looks, which are very basic.
Verdict: Eliminated
Silly rabbit, TRIX are for kids. Might as well, be, given how miniature this thing is. However, it does manage to be very comfortable, pretty fast courtesy of a V6, and just safe enough. Firmer ride for more sportiness could well have put it into the finals - but alas.
Verdict: Eliminated
The Homada here comes with a first-in-industry 7-speed manual. And electric steering. And a proper lightweighted interior. And pretty much the most FWD drivability whilst still being sporty. Aw, man, that fuckin’ freak up on stage, shiiet, he’s got everything. Or does he?
Verdict: Proceeds to Finals
Raddest shit I ever done seen. Freestyle doors, a deafeningly-screeching straight-four, all packed in a funky package with almost Prius proportions. Second-highest sportiness, and highest for FWD. Precious few downsides, despite the +2 rear shit-for-seats.
Verdict: Proceeds to Finals
Aside from the wonky Mazda Ryuga-like proportions and the utterly unsightly exterior (with default rims!), this is a decent little hot hatch. There are some weirdly detrimental choices, though, like the compact intake and the budget maxout.
Verdict: Eliminated
The Katsuni is designed very generically - but not poorly. It would have been a decent contender overall, were it just a little bit faster. The suspension has semi-active everything, but what good is that at little more than regular commuter speeds?
Verdict: Eliminated
Certainly a familiar face, the Crossdream. But there’s trouble in Aztekc paradise. No variable-effort rack, maxed-out price, thirsty-ass V6 with no real overdrive, sportiness is also only okay. It’s a car that’s getting there, but it ain’t there yet.
Verdict: Eliminated