FINALS
This is the end. I forgot to change this section so there’s just nothing lol
Recommended Section Soundtrack: Mastodon - Megalodon
The cheapest roadster to make it to this illustrious six-car shortlist (and on of the two four-cylinder cars), the Solare is sadly the first to go. It maintains a solid bar when compared to the wider roadster field, showcasing above-average and not to mention aggressive looks, relatively affordable running costs and a compliant road feel - but when compared to the best of the best, it doesn’t particularly impress. The little Katami simply isn’t on-level, even when its modest price is considered, with the requisite levels of refinement, speed and panache in this market sector.
As said previously, the ZLK is a tour de force. Aside from being technologically advanced and refined, it is a very aggressively positioned corner carver, coming standard with some of the most aggressive tires money can buy. “On paper”, it’s among the top vehicles in the class whilst undercutting most of the other straight-six superbruisers around. The problem lies, as it tends to in such cases, in the looks: The Régal is very much not… regal. Standing next to the other cars, it has a puny, self-shrinking stance, and its automatic hardtop roof does not look very sculpted or sturdy when up. Standing next to even the Katami, it looks somewhat out of its depth - and for a luxury roadster like this, it’s simply unacceptable.
Let me make something adamantly clear: The Fulgur Fenja is an amazingly engineered car, and not even really one whose engineering can be necessarily considered too clinical or methodical - indeed, the boxer-six is a visceral midrange-pulling beast with six loud, responsive, free-flowing throttle bodies. No, the problem here is design. See, in isolation, clear headlights and taillights with a detailed look at internals are a distinctive and interesting trend for the turn of the century, but they look weird on a blobbish, Porsche-aping body that feels like a 90s take on retromodern nostalgia for the 60s. It looks like a New Beetle rendition of a Karmann Ghia. The fact that you can get a sexy Italian roadster that’s also part of this shortlist for $100 less does not help.
This is it, then: The three best roadsters you can get in 2002. And for some reason, they’re all very blue.
Two are mid-engined; Two are targa tops; Two are six-cylinders. They all have flaws that were close to fatal in the general running.
The Tristella Corvus Spyder is the elegant Italian on the right. Already lauded for its looks by multiple journalists and TV shows, it’s cool as ice and loaded with features. Its SOHC VVTL 2.7 V6 is probably the smartest-performing engine out of the bunch with seriously impressive specific output, it’s got this trio’s only folding and hiding top, and the best sound system - and it drives best, with a quality powered rack contributing to a balance of ease and precision. Aside from being nominally less comfortable with the ragtop up, the Corvus only really has one issue - but it’s a big one. As a true Italian sports car, it is flaky and unreliable, moreso than perhaps anything else on the market. The engine block is fragile, and the aluminum structure is not smartly enough engineered to avoid making the interior creak and making you think something’s wrong. It’s got a character true to its country of origin - and it’s only the driving goodness of it and the looks that have gotten it this far.
The Hoffsman Alsophis is the psychotic-looking rascal on the left, and that’s honestly problem number one. While pure sportiness and even raciness is welcome in the roadster world, the Hoffsman’s look feels more like a crushed/squished-up version of a hypercar. It’s got spectacles that would make a Zonda blush, a slasher smile, two-tone paint (And I think the bottom white is just a poor choice). The baby bolide does justify itself with a nonexistent curb weight leading to spectacular acceleration and some otherworldly adhesion (at the cost of the crossed toe specs erasing your unique-spec tires lickety split), but that’s problem number two. On most people’s Cool Walls, this thing would be a Seriously Uncool car - it requires copious explanation and overall gives off a striped-stockings nerd vibe. Then again, maybe nerdy vibes and boy-racer looks are not as egregious violations considering that, at the end of the day, the Alsophis is the fastest track car money can buy in this segment, for very little money.
The Voltari Kiruna is the big wide one in the middle, and aside from sharing a similar roof arrangement, it really couldn’t be much more different from the Hoffsman than it already is. Twice that little car’s weight, with a big, dumb, screeching straight-six up front, a cabin with ample space in the back, and nowhere near the level of chassis aggression and adhesion. But the sportiness and performance sacrifices mean the Voltari can focus on everything else - and the car is, as a result, either a high-level pick or an outright quantum step change in most of the other roadster priorities, including absolutely unmatched safety. It is the absolute best roadster “on points”, if you’re willing to pay for it. Looks really good, too.
In the end, though, there can only be one king of the roadsters. The Hoffsman isn’t it: Too racy, and would lose nothing at all by being a coupe. Between two GTs that remain, there’s a solidly built, muscular front-engine targa, and there’s a boisterous mini-exotic that is better in every other way, cheaper, and would steamroll a beauty contest. I think you all know where this is going.
FINISHING ORDER
1st: @Xepy
2nd: @vero94773
3rd: @Kanye_West & @chiefzach2018
4th: @moroza & @Ch_Flash
5th: @karhgath
6th: @bang6111
7th: @Riley
8th: @Danicoptero
9th: @Ritz & @Knugcab
10th: @the-chowi
FACTOIDS
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The engine selection was diverse this round: Boxers, Vs and Inlines were represented, with 4 to 6 cylinders and 3 to 5 valves per each. Just 1 contestant used an iron block, though, and all but one were naturally aspirated.
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Engines were biased towards revviness with the lowest redline being 6600 and 7 entries over 8000, and 9 cars incorporating variable valve lift.
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The most popular type of chassis was a bonded aluminum monocoque, with 10 such entries - followed by high-strength steel with 5. The most popular panel material was a steel/aluminum mix, including 3 such cars with an aluminum chassis - meaning the only steel on the car was panels.
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10 cars were mid-engined, 8 front-engined, and just one was rear-engined. Transverse engine placement was favored among the midships, five to three; obviously, the front-engined ones favored longitudinal mounting 6 to 2.
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11 cars were soft-topped and 8 hard-topped, with both categories tending to forgo a power mechanism (7 soft tops and 5 hard tops). The Zephorus Amida managed to combine a power-folding hardtop (and supposedly powered doors) with a sub-1 ton weight.
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Just one car - the ESP Flatout - used anything other than a traditional manual transmission, going for a clutchless one instead. Further down in the drivetrain, everybody went with some kind of LSD, overwhelmingly geared ones (13 to 6).
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3 entries went with semi-slick tires instead of sport ones. The best-handling entry, the Hossfman Alsophis Z, was not one of them.
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Just 6 of you greedy rascals finished ans sent in your entries prior to the original deadline. Y’all need to get more comfortable with weeklongs, on God!
Thank you for your attention to this matter.