Return of Mr CAT (Episode 3: 2005 Mara Kavaler AMM) - OPEN FOR SUBMISSIONS!

Some of you might remember this challenge.

In that one, Mr. CAT was a pure RCR ripoff, because well, that was the whole point. And the suggestion from @AndiD was that I should put up an official thread for Mr. CAT reviews. I was skeptical, though, since I felt like I really can’t run a pure RCR ripoff, and I still feel the same way TBH.

But still, a seed started to grow I guess. Mr. Regular will probably never start reviewing Automation cars at a regular basis, and the question is, wouldn’t it be nice to have something kind of similar for them? To have a kind of cynical, salty but still funny reflection about what place the car has in Automationverse. The thing is, that I think that I have writing skills enough to make this my own thing, without ripping off RCR. So probably this will have less fart jokes and less random shit, as well as its own “style” when it comes to writing, but still be somewhat inspired… at least that’s how it works in theory.

OK, a small update, here is the rules.
When the title says “OPEN”, it means that it is open for submissions.
I will only take one car at a time and I will literally take the first car that gets sent to me that I find interesting enough to review in this way. If I get multiple submissions before I change the title back, I won’t put anyone on hold (if I won’t get any new submissions when I want to do it next time, I might take someone that missed it last time, though).

I won’t be ultra sensitive regarding realism and such here, nor will I require any interiors. Just keep in mind that a car that isn’t a five fixture wonder or an engineering clusterfuck will probably have a greater chance to succeed. It is also a good thing if you clarify that it is for Mr CAT when you submit a car.

Also, I won’t be putting out this kind of reviews too often, so prepare that it might take time.



“Oh, I hate all the unnecessary shit in the cars of today. Why can’t we just have a normal car, that does car things? I don’t want smartphone connectivity! I don’t want touch screens! I just want low weight and a stickshift!”

Guess what? Here is the car for you. The 1960 SUMA M311 Selecta.

If minimalism had been modern in 1960, the SUMA selecta would have been the pinnacle of chic four-wheeled accessories. Even the door handles are made of stamped sheet metal, the plastic steering wheel is only round and exists and the rubber floor mats didn’t even cover the transmission tunnel. Unfortunately, in that space age era of excess, you could not be any less hip than if you spent your money on a SUMA Selecta, which more or less made a Saarland Adjunkt look like a status symbol.

Yet at a first glance the Selecta actually seems stylish. The lines are very clean and contemporary, and if it wasn’t for the lack of size it could pass as an US compact car of the era, at a first glance then of course. You remember how christmas could be when you were a child, right? You had that toy on your wishlist, and then your aunt gave you one, at least she thought so. But when you unwrapped the package, you saw a box that resembled what you wanted, but very much simplified, and with a much more generic name. Forget He-Man, this is “Mr. Superhero”. The Taiwanese piece of cheap plastic hopefully broke within a few days of use. If not, your friends saw a chance to bully you because you had a cheap replica. I mean, that’s after all kind of socially acceptable, even for the nice kids, right?

And within there lies the problem. Because only three years later, the car that killed all kind of street cred the SUMA ever had, and it wasn’t much to start with, arrived on the market. Enter the Mara Irena!

Was the Mara Irena superior to the SUMA? Well, it kind of was, but with three years of advantage it really should have been. But the Mara was the car that finally achieved what other cars had tried to do for ages. It was the ultra low budget car that was socially acceptable. And yes, it should be said that the Mara like few other cheap cars managed to be a great allrounder without any major drawback that spoiled all its good traits, but it wasn’t like if the Mara was perfect or something. For the purchase price a Mara, or for that matter SUMA had, you had to accept some trade-offs.

But it still didn’t matter. You could tell people that you drove a Mara Irena, it was even seen as an intelligent choice if your friends were the right kind of people, which once again proves that peer pressure is more important to people than anything. It achieved status in its own anti-status kind of way. But the SUMA…despite not being THAT much worse, was now an also-ran. As were many other cheap cars of the era of course. On the other hand many of them are even more forgotten than the SUMA nowadays.

And yet, here it stands. A 1960 SUMA, restored to top notch condition. Cars like this simply should not exist nowadays, but it doesn’t care, and neither does its owner. He could have chosen to restore a Wolfe, a Zephorus, a Wraith…but no, here stands the SUMA. And considering how rare the survivors are he should be seen as the hero. But he is not. Million dollar restorations of muscle cars are still filling up the pages of car magazines, but where do you find the SUMAs there? Looking for them in magazines is more or less the equivalent to having to find an usable email address at a company’s web page when you have a complaint to make. Yeah, there IS a slight chance that you might find it, but it is simply not worth it, and you end up valuing your mental health more than whatever the benefit would be of finding what you were looking for, and thus, you give up.

But here in the wild, we have the 1960 SUMA Selecta. We now have the chance to once again remember, being a cheapskate at the time before the Cuban crisis, what was it really like?

Well, to start with, for a small dog you will probably not need to open the door, since the panel gaps will be large enough for it to get through. I am pretty sure that wasn’t an intended function, but that’s still how it is. Seated inside, the SUMA is a symphony of pure….existance. You can’t even laugh at how bad it is, because it’s not really that bad either. Sure, the tyres are only 125 mm wide and offers the same friction as cottage cheese, the engine has a power band of 1000 RPM from when it starts to lose all of its grunt until it redlines, when all it does is scream “don’t kill me!”, and sure, it feels rather hopeless today, but so do every economy car from 1960. Seen as a product of its time it is just the definition of average, and mocking what’s average is for the most part just to put yourself on a too tall horse.

But since average yesterday is subpar today and most people will find it hard to find any emotional connections to the SUMA, what is the reason for one to exist today? I mean, without at least SOME love, a car would not have an easy time surviving for over sixty years. Unfortunately, we have to dig deep into the dark areas of the vintage car crowd to find an answer this time. And no, I am not going to make this into some kind of hipster bashing, because that would be way too easy. But we are once again touching the topic of peer pressure. We are talking about the people dressing up to resemble people that are in some cases still alive. But the real versions of what those 25 year olds are trying to aspire to is driving fairly new korean shitboxes in white at 20 km/h below the speed limit. That’s something the wannabes would never be caught dead in. Neither would they be caught dead in a muscle car or some other vintage vehicle that people actually like. But on the other hand, a totally forgotten shitbox would not make it either, because it is all about making a statement, and to impress the right people with the statement you’re making, you have to buy something that they approve of. How are they supposed to approve a car they didn’t even know existed? Enter the SUMA Selecta. People remember it and most people remember it as a car giving no status at all. It has finally reached the sweet spot that the Mara robbed it from once upon a time.

So, sorry mr. Tweed cap, you’re not as edgy as you think, and neither is your car. But you are probably already on your way to the next popular antistatus symbol, so it is probably doubtful if you care anyway.

Thanks to @Banana_Soule for the car!



  • Yes, you have managed to pull this off as your own thing.
  • No, it’s just an RCR ripoff
  • No, it’s different enough from RCR but sucks anyway

0 voters


Seems like the interest is at least slightly larger than the un-interest, so updated the original post with rules for submissions.

In its time, the Selecta was nothing more than a very basic (and cheap) transportation appliance - but one that would be overshadowed by its contemporaries later on as better options for the masses became available.

1 Like


1984 Macht Teuton 455 SLi Kom….HECK, I am not going to pronounce all of this.

And to answer your question I know you will feel clever for asking….YES! It has turn signals? Do you see the little square lenses up front in orange? That’s turn signals. Do you see the vertical orange thingies in the corners of the tail lights? That’s turn signals! And yeah, believe it or not, they actually do work.

Now, I don’t want to hear that silly question ever again. After 50 times, even a joke that was clever the first time will get old. What has also gotten old is the 1984 Macht Teuton 455 Si Kom….eh, nevermind. That also means that by now we are fed up with the douchebag jokes. Yes, we get it. This was a yuppie chariot….in the 80s. Maybe hard to believe but the yuppies from back then are more or less trading in what vehicles they ever had, into mobility scooters. Do they have turn signals? I don’t know and I don’t care.

Another fact is that there was probably at least as much douchebaggin’ goin’ on in the more extreme supercars of the era. Yet, they are more or less free from bad jokes. The reason is probably that we were dreaming about them in a way we never did with the Ma…FUCK NO, not going to pronounce that. The I’m-not-going-to-pronounce-this was at least a car that regular people could aspire to afford, hence it was more interesting to make fun of it, than it was making fun of something you had only seen on a poster taped to a wall.

Under the bonnet is a five cylinder. Five cylinders are a weird thing that you use if you are german. Or swedish, since every swede wants to be a german when he grows up. Or italian, and I am not going to fall into the trap and make jokes about italian-german cooperations, because that would be downright tasteless. And yeah…then there is the IP 5RQ engine that I don’t really have any answer why it even exists. Maybe some engineer in Ariya can answer it. But it is highly irrelevant since we’re going back to the V26D4N of the Machtenblachterblahblahsomething. It is a 219 hp, 2.6 litre inline five, which shares tooling with the V10, so let me explain V10s to you.

Remember the Atari Jaguar lying about being a 64 bit system which honestly was the sum of some really creative calculations? Or the Dreamcast being a honest 128 bit system? They were all victims of the “bit craze” of the 90s. When the Sega Genesis, or Mega Drive, depending on where you live, as well as the Super NES arrived in the late 80s and early 90s, they used 16 bit CPUs, and yes, they were superior to the 8 bit systems they replaced, but that was not only due to more powerful CPU. What’s even worse, people only knew that a “16 bit” system was better than an “8 bit one” without knowing what a bit even was. Were the Jaguar better than the Playstation? Absolutely not. Was the Dreamcast that much superior to other consoles of the era? Uhm, well…

I think the same logic kind of applies here. You get something that sounds more cool than a “V8” because the number of cylinders is greater. In the end, you also get something where it’s doubtful if it has any advantages over a V8 and that ends up having some weird balancing issues. Then you chop off one cylinder bank, and ends up with the V26D4N in the…OK, OK, OK, IT IS CALLED THE MACHT TEUTON 455 SLi KOMPAKT SPORTPAKET, ARE YOU SATISFIED NOW?

But the engine in itself wasn’t that bad. It had 219 hp and almost gave supercar performance to the light car. A top speed of almost 250 km/h was said to be possible, and it had a 0-100 time of less than six seconds. Crowning it with spoilers and wings, it looked spectacular, but obviously there was a regular coupé body hiding under there, making it more practical. And in the mindset of people, it went from cool to gaudy to cool again. Yes, this was not a car hiding under a cover just to be taken on drives on special occasions, this was the daily driver for douchebags, and the reputation stuck to it.

Driving one, well… There is no doubt that it is fast, nor that it will hold on well to the corners, but…you can experience a better ride in way more affordable cars. The suspension is about as forgiving as wood blocks, the comfort is compromised to give way for handling and sporty driving characteristics. But on the other hand, you’re going to be surprised how easy to drive it actually is. You can actually push it hard through the corners without having to wonder in which way it was going to kill you, and it has power steering and even anti-lock brakes. Also, it should be mentioned that the interior is somewhat mismatched with the exterior, because inside, everything is as dark as the spot where you think your 10 mm socket is hiding, and as serious as a geography lesson.

So which role does this serve in the modern automotive landscape? Well, honestly speaking, mostly as a novelty. The EV revolution more or less has flipped things upside down nowadays. Because regardless of what Facebook know-it-alls will tell you about child labour, how underdimensioned the power grid is and how some guy in Archana died under mystical circumstances after having invented a special kind of carburetor to make his Mara Kanyon run on water, the EV is here to stay. Leave out the environmental discussion now, just like two stroke weedwackers have declined in sales lately, the ICE cars will, regardless of if they will ever be completely replaced or not, simply because an EV has too many advantages and the drawbacks are starting to be much less annoying to regular people now. But the EV revolution also has a side effect that might have been unexpected. Nowadays soccer mom SUVs have gotten performance that would make some serious sports cars from the past, including the MAUSCIEAÄERCHER…screw it…jealous.

The conclusion must be that the new public enemy on the road is not a yuppie in a german sports coupé, but rather Karen herself.

That’s food for thought indeed. Served with sauerkraut, maybe.

Thanks to @GetWrekt01 for the car!


(In case someone missed it, this is open to take a new car now, too)

This came out even better than I thought it would, pleasantly surprised and very happy with it! If someone actually came and told me this is a genuine RCR script, I’d fall for it lmao.

This is pretty much what I was going for, daily driver for people who aren’t the blessed with the deepest of pockets, but just deep enough to own a track/sports focused car that’s eye wateringly quick for its time around tracks and on the straight. In fact, throughout the review, I’m surprised by how a good chunk of it is matching with what I had in mind. So I’m glad the car came out EXACTLY as I wanted it to be.

This was an amazing review, Knugcab. I look forward to sending more cars in the future, and I encourage others to do so as well.




Thanks. As I said, I can not deny that this is heavily influenced by RCR, but I try to keep a distance from it anyway. After all, it is done more as a tribute than a ripoff, since I am a huge fan of RCR and thought the Automationverse deserved something similar. But I will, for example, stay away from the fart jokes and the reviews are done from my point of view, not one I think mr. Regular would have (although we are at a similar age and it seems that I share much of his view on both cars and society, so well, similarities will and may occur), it is highly possible that mr. R would have had totally different things to say sometimes. But since it is still kind of a tribute… well, we will see how it turns out. At least it would not be the only IRL inspired thing of the Automationverse, people have for example been discussing a Bottom Gear show in the Discord, so…

Also a warning, considering a discussion that emerged on discord yesterday and got pretty heated: here some pure cynism and very evil roasting may occur. It is never anything personal, but if you know you have a hard time handling such stuff, I don’t recommend entering.



Hello. It is 2005 calling. We are at the moment recording a discount rap video. Here is our A8. We bought it at the same place as we got the gucci bags for the bitches, as we can call them since it is still the good old days when the youth is only interested in pretending to be upper class in the most tasteless, fake and lavish kind of way, and not in that woke bullcrap you’re having. Is there any way to put gold plating on the eyelids of my chihuahua? Asking for a friend.

Not only is the Mara Kavaler a sedan, which is much cooler than some old tractor called a “SUV” or whatever. It also has crystal clear taillights, because face it, in the future no car in the world will have a single trace of colour in its headlight lenses. They will be as white and as privileged as we are.

You will love to think back on this era in 20 years, we promise! You will miss the perfume stench. You will miss spending your last money downloading the latest white rapper hit as the signal to your multicolour screen cellphone. You will miss that every car manufacturer tried to be Audi in the most bland period in the whole history of Audi! You will miss dashboards looking like in the 80s but with some fake aluminium panels made of rock hard plastic and silver paint. You will miss the orange pixelated display showing what the future will look like. You will miss crystal clear headlights still running piss yellow halogen bulbs!

Fast forward to 2023. I hated 2005 in 2005, I hate 2005 in 2023 and the Mara Kavaler makes my skin itch in its AMM form. Yeah, I get it. In the history of Archana, back in the days a Kavaler did show that you actually WERE somebody. In 2005, the showroom shine was fading on the Kavalers already before they had left the showroom, with western car taking its place, and it appears that Mara had to react.

Enter AMM.

Now, AMM has a rather interesting place in history. Starting out as Mayster, their Mara based Triumf got a reputation for being a RAUK competitor that actually didn’t try to kill you every time you went for a drive. But as with many promising low series manufacturers, it ended up with being a badge just slapped on the most exclusive models from a regular manufacturer.

And this time, it was on Maras, of any car you could think of.

Now, do not think for a minute that I have anything against Maras per se. Models like the Irena and the Asteri has provided great value for not much money for years. The Kavaler AMM is everything they are not. A symbol of fake excess!

The difference between this and fake Gucci bags is that Mara isn’t a pirate handbag manufacturer in China. So, by no means could they slap an Audi badge on this to fool people that had forced the pre-dieselgate VAG kool-aid down their throats that it was the best thing since sliced bread. Mara styling cues and Mara badges on what should be a luxury car did not fool anybody back then and it does not fool anybody now. It was not even interesting if the Kavaler was a good car or not. It was on par with what a car should be. But having the same badges as on an old Irena on a car in this class did not work. In the west, the Kavaler AMM was only a player in the margins.

And I know you. If you drive a Kavaler AMM today, you’re just a dirtbag that is only interested in one thing. Getting a V8 as cheap as possible in something that is not a rusted out US van. And can I even blame you for that? No, it is a very specific request with a very specific answer, and it should be OK, but lowkey I still hate you.

And the next time your fingers are burning because you just have to write on Facebook how much you hate the woke bullshit and that the government are forcing EVs upon us, remember that this could be the alternative.

I am not saying that we are experincing good times at the moment, but be careful what you wish for.

Thanks to @AndiD for the car!