No Im just an idiot who cant count…nor can i english…let me change it
3 Likes
17/20 entries confirmed! (edit: changed from 15 to 17 entries)
So, a bit more information about the event here.
It takes place over 2 days, 500 miles, and 24 legs (11 day 1, 13 day 2). There are sections on both days that are hard, with day 2 having two overland sections (NO ROADS AT ALL) that are particularly difficult. The land CAN be traversed by low-ish riding 2WD vehicles, but how many pieces the cars will out in will depend on the assigned Trail Experience of the team.
Also, after each leg, your team will make a quick mechanical assessment, and their next leg’s “speed” will be determined by that outcome. In RP terms, your mechanic may express concerns to the driver, and tell them to back off. Or everything may be fine, and focus is on accuracy.
For each leg, I will post a brief blurb about the section, its average and maximum grade, general road conditions, and weather conditions. I will also go down the list of entrants and give a couple leg stats, as follows:
LAE - Leg accuracy estimate - how confident your team is that you’re close to a “0” on that leg (remember, team that is closest to 0 for the entire event wins at the end)
MRL - Morale modifier. This can be a negative number (your people might be getting concerned or frustrated or fatigued), neutral, or positive (having a good time, feeling confident, overcoming a big obstacle)
Notes - Any notes I have about your particular team and their circumstances on that leg. You MAY see a picture of your car here with a big red “X” on it. You don’t want to see this… this means your car has suffered a critical failure. Time to call the tow truck and scrape the carcass off the road.
I will also, after this rundown, do a short RP of my own team. Assuming they are able to continue on.
Once I post a leg, I’d like participants to join in and add their own RP blurbs. I will give 24-48 hours after I post a leg’s results before I post the next leg, giving a little time for this. Also, between Day 1 Leg 11 and Day 2 Leg 1, I will take a few additional days, so that the players can RP the overnight camp (interact with each other, flesh out the stories of the day)
@8bs … I presume this answers your questions in PM? 
8 Likes
TEAM DSDR
Driver:
Darkshine5
Age:
33
Country of Origin:
Australia
Occupation:
Owner and head designer DSD
Racing Experience:
4 time winner Willowbanks Street race Nights
3rd place Overall Qld Super Street Championship
150 logged hours Qld Raceway
250+ hrs logged Willowbanks Raceway
23rd Overall 12hr Bathurst
15th Place overall Mt Cootha sprints
2nd Place overall Wondia Sprints
Rally Experience:
Zero
Mechanic and Navigator:
Noble Romeo (pronounced Roh Meer Roh)
Age:
48
Country of Origin:
France
Occupation:
Ceo DSDR, team leader Darkshines Designs Racing, Head mechanic DSDR drag team.
Racing Experience:
23rd Overall 12hr Bathurst
Qld Amateur Rally Champion
300+hrs logged Australia Amateur Rally Navigator
team leader of DSDR Racing
Advertisement of vehicle
Official Statement from DS5
We at DSD are proud to compete in the Roulette Runner. We would have liked to presented a DSD vehicle but we simply could not find one for the correct price.
What we did however find was a 1985 Licorne Elk 6. The previous teenage owner has ravaged this vehicle but we believe we can salvage something from the chassis and engine. There is soo much rust that we have decided to use ALOT of bog to “patch” the holes and re-paint the car in whatever color was the cheapest we could find (spray can white) we had to leave the god awful bonnet as a replacement was over budget.
Luckily the Chassis was corrosion res steel and everything looks in order underneath, the lift kit is a professional job and bar a few bushes nothing needs attention.
New solid disc brakes from a random junkyard motorhome were fitted as the originals were so far gone that driving was not possible.
The cutout front bumper had no rigidity left so we used duct tape to hopefully strengthen it a little so its not so floppy.
What was left of the interior was ripped out and two brand new seats with racing harnesses and working gauges were fitted alongside a basic rollcage for safety.
An interesting issue we had was the power steering in this vehicle has been completely removed and customized for manual steering by a previous owner at some time and again the replacement of this was far outside of DSD’s budget, However the largest part of the budget were the big chunky 10" wide tyres fitted to the aftermarket 16" wheels.
We torn the engine down to find the factory forged pistons had been replaced with hypereutectic units that had a large 0.40 dish and the camshaft has had a regrind at some stage. The overheating issues was a simple fix the required a new water pump that rotated the correct way. The cheap homemade exhaust was removed from the cast manifold back and replaced with a stainless steel straight thru system with a modern cat converter. For more power we fitted an 8psi pulley to the factory roots supercharger to complement the air to air inter-cooler that had been fitted by the previous owner, with some minor ignition and Rpm tuning the 4.7L supercharged 6 is making 170hp and 415Nm.
It will be an adventure that’s for sure. below is the finished vehicle.
Ongoing Issues:
Oil leak from front differential
Hideous Bonnet
Corrugated iron tray bed (so we can sleep in it if we need to…an so that our gear doesn’t fall through the holes in the tray)
smell of vomit/sex…(you all know THAT smell)
Only passenger wiper works
fiberglass fender flares deteriorating
right front low beam not working
Supercharger belt tensioner loose resulting in shredded belts every 100km’s or so
Occasional vacuum leak to brake booster resulting in no brakes (she’ll be right)
NO STEREO (I have to listen to Romeo’s outlook on the world all day every fecking day)
ROLE PLAY events
Pre-event the day before
Pre-event Day 1
Day one events
9 Likes
Team ‘Unfixed, Unfazed, Unbroken’ ⋅⋅⋅ᶠᵒʳ ᶰᵒʷ
Three Aussie mates from Sydney who watched enough Top Gear, RoadKill and Mighty Car Mods to know this was the event for them.
Sam Paschke - 34-year-old actually a New South Welshman, he works in Sydney as a software engineer and glad to get a break from the hellish commute into the city. He owns a 2014 Kimura Auriga SXi which rides supremely well over the rough Sydney roads. His keen interest in automotive programs and gaming prowess on GT4 and Forza has earned him the position as the main driver.
Daniel McGowen - 32-year-old a wild Queenslander who now lives and works in NSW. His daily a nice 2012 Saminda C3 but he mostly just drives that to the station and trains into the city where he works as an Insurance manager. As far as his concerned JDM is the only way they should have done this event. Maesima isn’t what you’d call his favourite brand which why he was ‘given’ the position as team navigator so as to keep him as far away as possible from wheel lest he destroy the car out of spite.
Mitchell Phillipps - 44-year-old Victorian He’s the oldest and most experienced although his old a hobby mechanic. He now lives in NSW and works as a Maintenance officer but commutes in his current run about a 1983 Erin Merna which the others jokingly suggested as the entry for the event as its a bit of a rust bucket, Mitch is a bit of wheeler-dealer and has a habit of finding acquiring old bombs for next to nothing and then fixing and selling them at a profit. He’s basically a walking car yard and wrecker in one. His keen eyes spotted our entry. Speaking of which…
The Car
The team has already started to get to work on the CV joints.
While the basic chassis was rather good as most of Maesima sedans from the late 1980s onwards with a double wishbone setup front and rear. The rest leaves a lot to be desired, this one is fitted with a sluggish NA 2.2L version of the MCG-engine family Maesima’s first DOHC engine dating back to 1988. Interestingly a 2.2L Turbocharged version powered the first Maesima Prova ST-R! So if we’re lucky maybe we can make some adjustments to get a bit more kick out of it.
While sadly this model isn’t post-facelift (1995-1997) but nor is it the woeful base model which was only exported to countries that it managed to pass the emissions standards. Australia was one of the few developed countries to be inflicted with the 1.8L GL model. This venerable engine dates back to 1965 as part of the MCO-engine family.
But for all the criticism of the NV-993 and it’s poor engines, cheap plastics inside and out. It was nonetheless fairly solid and for those that wanted a nice sedan without the premium price of its competitors, the NV-993 was well received. Today it still offers extremely good value as many tend to overlook Maesima’s from this period save for the performance models like the NRZ-996s which are getting harder to find in clean unmolested condition. But for those that dare the NV-993 offers good honest transport what more could you ask for? At least we’re hoping it’s sturdy reputation holds for this event.
This particular example is an Australian export model, registered SKF 358 in NSW. It rolled off of the production line in Namju, the Democratic Socialist Republic of Anikatia on April 4th, 1994, and has since done close to 221,000 kms. While we have found the original owners manual and some service records it’s not complete so we don’t know how many owners it has had.
But it seems to have had a hard life. The greenish silver greyish paint is a little faded and sunburnt with the clear cost coming off in parts, it’s not been kept in a garage and has been subject to harsh Australian sun. The body appears to have suffered the usual scrapes and dents. It must have lived near the beaches as it has a few spots of rust but nothing too bad.
The interior upholstery hasn’t faired much better the cloth seats aren’t looking so good so we bought some covers to hide the worse of it. The cheap hard plastics of the dash have mostly held up. The cigarette lighter is missing along with some of the radio knots and the air condition isn’t working. This model also got cruise control…but it’s not working either.
Now as we said the engine isn’t the most powerful thing from the factory and years have not been kind. It needs a new clutch thrust bearing to be fitted as it is a bit noisy, CV joints are clicking and probably need to be changed too. The quality of coolants, oil suggests it’s overdue for a service too. Thankfully it has a timing chain so we shouldn’t have to do anything too major there.
Hopefully, this should see our team through this rally! We bought the thing for $500 after seeing and negotiating it down from the advertised gumtree price of $650. Besides those CVs, clutch thrust bearing and the steering wheel doesn’t seem to be put on straight. The car drives fairly nicely just needs a proper service and with any luck should be good to go!
Issues
Some surface rust
Clutch thrust bearing
CV joints
Paint fade, clear coat damage
A/C not working
Cruise control not working
Worn tyres
11 Likes
Now this ought to be fucking awesome! 
5 Likes
#Team Electric Space Wizards
##The Members:
Lynn Morgan : 22 year old, from Los Angeles, and well known for having a car shopping habit, she went through 5 project cars just in the last 2 years, while dailying a 1992 Erin Scarlet S . She always works on her own cars, but doesn’t trust her own skill enough in case of more serious, extensive repairs during a rally, so that’s where the power of friendship comes into play! She likes autocrossing, and roadtrips, so this rally was a great chance to have some good fun, as the team’s main driver.
Aiden Taylor: 21 year old, and Lynn’s closest childhood friend. He’s currently working as an apprentice mechanic for a local shop, as he always had a liking for tinkering and tearing down stuff, even as a kid. His car shows that very well, as it’s a 1988 Seishido Antares 4.3, with air suspension. No one knows how many times he’s had to fix it. He’s not quite a race driver, as he’s actually afraid of driving quickly, and would just cruise across the rally.
Connor Ashworth: 24 year old, came into the US from Britain for something university related apparently. He became good friends with Aiden after bringing his 2013 Saminda C1 in for repair, curiously enough. Decided to join team ESP just for the experience. He’ll be the team’s main navigator, as he can actually read physical maps decently.
Joseph Taylor: 18 year old, Aiden’s younger brother. He spends half of his free time watching car-related videos on YouTube, or playing Forza, and has quite the obsession with JDM. He was the one who stickerbombed the rear view mirror. He doesn’t own a car of his own yet. Joined the team for the same reason Connor did. Oh, and the fact he’s Aiden’s brother, yeah.
##The Car:
Why is this happening? Lynn found something on craigslist, and bought it, as usual. A 1990 Seishido Grandcab 3.0BX 4WD, for $460. It’s a reliable, all purpose truck, that can handle pretty much anything you throw at it. Where’s the catch? It has 240000 miles or so, and the engine, a GZ30SE unit, can only push out a measly 158hp, despite being the best engine available…
When Lynn went to check it, it was in pretty bad shape. Its glorious Mystic Opal Metallic paint had chips and scratches all over, the front right fender had a big, white patch on it, which was later revealed to be a sloppy Bondo repair attempt. Hoping to find something in better shape, she opened the bonnet, only to be greeted by a filthy engine bay, caked in dirt, leaves and with a telltale smell of leaking fluids.
Worried about the less visible signs of damage, Lynn decided to give a call to her childhood friend, Aiden. As an apprentice mechanic, he’s pretty good at identifying problems within neglected cars, and he’s willing to do so for free.
So, Aiden determined the Grandcab was mostly mechanically sound, except for a few issues common within cars of its age, and $460 was thrown down the drain. The seller mentioned something before they left, a $500 dollar car rally. Lynn is known for this kind of stuff, so she instantly decided the Grandcab would be used in it. Since it’s a crew cab, it can fit 2 more people, right? Yeah that’s how Connor and Joseph got invited, to help with navigation and the likes, never mind their actual ability in doing so. They’re friends, so that’s what matters, right? And so Team Electric Space Wizards was born! The name was decided by putting down 20 names on a piece of paper and throwing a d20.
##Problems that we haven’t fixed yet (that we managed to find out)
The paint is very damaged, and looks quite bad. Clearcoat is ruined, scratches everywhere.
The old tape deck doesn’t work, sadly. But we still have AM/FM radio!
The transmission doesn’t really like shifting into 4th gear, and occasionally makes spine chilling grinding noises.
The clutch is a bit worn out, as some slippage is noticeable.
The passenger side window hand crank is broken.
The backup lights don’t work, probably a blown fuse.
##And the ones we did fix…
Replaced the Battery.
Brake fluid was leaking, so we installed new brake lines, flushed and refilled the fluid.
Front brake discs were completely wore down, so we changed them for brand new parts.
Handbrake cable had snapped, got replaced.
We JDM stickerbombed the rear view mirror. Why was that a fixed problem? The lack of proper stickers was irritating.
Put a steering wheel cover on, worn out fake leather covered in years old human slime isn’t very appealing.
11 Likes
One spot left! Who’s going to claim it?
I have something built on notsaab body but since I lack time and especailly because I’m not that passionate about role play I think I’ll leave that spot to someone else.
2 Likes
I’ve got a bit of pre-race RP ready to go as soon as it won’t be cluttering up the thread during the submissions phase. Basically, the shenanigans of team Twin-Snail as they’re gearing up, packing stuff, and preparing the car for battle.
But as I said, I’m going to wait on that until the last submission’s in, and I’ve had some rest because I’ve been up nearly 24-hours now. And RP when tired is… Well, it could be hilarious, but it could also be a mess.
Well, it’s time for that then @Madrias … 
Because the 20th entry was just confirmed and processed.
For those who wish to RP prior to the event start, please do so over the next 20-ish hours. I will post the first stage then.
The event organizers have, in the days leading up to the big day, encouraged the entrants to spend the night before camping at the Walker River Campground. This large, paved campground has numerous private spaces under tall fir trees. It is in the lowlands of the Walker River valley, a little inland in a temperate coastal area of Gasmea.
*** — *** — *** — *** — Team Greasy Lightning *** — *** — *** — *** —
Rick took a slow swig of his brown ale, his gaze locked on the dancing flames as they spat from between the logs on the fire.
“Hellooo?” Jen chirped, snapping Rick to attention.
“Hmm?”
“You’re a thousand miles away,” she teased. “What’s going on?”
He shrugged and leaned back in his camp chair. “I dunno. I don’t know what I was thinking. This all seems so insane, doesn’t it? I mean, we’ve literally dragged our car out of the bushes and got it running, and now we’re going to drive it for 500 miles. Without roads. That doesn’t make you nervous?”
Jen chuckled. “If you think you’re going to talk me out of it NOW, you’re wrong. Besides, I’ll have Fuzz put you in handcuffs and throw you in the trunk if I have to.”
“Ugh. And let him drive? No thanks.”
“Hey, I’m not insane. I’d be driving.”
“And he’d be getting us lost,” Rick grinned. “Where is he, anyway?”
Jen reached for the thick poking stick sitting next to her and pushed the logs open slightly. “Went for a walk. He wanted to see how many others were here.”
As if a pet called by his master, Fuzz emerged from the darkness, bounding cheerfully up to the cooler to grab a beer.
“Hey, you’ll never believe this,” he panted as he cracked the top open.
“What?” Jen craned her neck slightly toward him. “You finally found another of your species?”
Fuzz returned a sneer and fake laugh. “No, but there’s probably like, 20 teams total. You know that Kimura minivan we saw on the way in? Not jut campers. They’re part of our group.”
“Huh,” Rick mused. “Not quite what I’d expected there.”
“That’s the tame one,” Fuzz continued. “Some of these guys are pretty nuts. There’s a Sinistra convertible, a police van, and a Forte GTi-S. And get this. Someone imported a Bogliq. A Bogliq! Can you believe it, man?”
Rick cast a glance at his wife, who was equally confused. “A what?”
“Bogliq. Russian. Ukranian. Hungarian. Something like that. A weird Eastern European rally hatch.”
“Wow. That’s pretty extreme,” Jen added.
“Yeah! It’s gonna be great!” Fuzz plopped down in his chair, which seemed comedically small for his huge frame. Rick imaginend how much funnier it would be when Jen shoved him in the back of the Kaminari for the first time.
I guess we’re not the weirdest ones here. It WILL be great. Rick smiled as he went to fetch the s’mores fixings from their Suzume hatchback. “Well, can’t let the fire go to waste. Dessert, guys.”
9 Likes
#Team Parklands; Day 0 (?)
“Well Shit…” James seemed upset. The Parklands had died again.
“Why did we not do like everyone else, and get something normal?” Nicole remarked.
“Because an event like this, Nic, is no fun when you’re normal.”
“It was nice to take this hunk off of Mr. Martindale, but why did we have to bring it here?” Nicole seemed annoyed. On the trip, the ‘hunk’ had broken down 5 times. Team Parklands were one of the last of the 20 to arrive.
“Hey, James. Someone was more adventurous than us.” Mark shouted.
“What did they bring?” James replied.
“Well, one team bought an NV-993. Another have bought what looks like your old Vole GTi.”
“Well, that seems fun. I spotted a few vans myself.”
“I’m gonna go talk to some people, get to know everyone” Mark said, before wandering off.
“James, We have some time to kill. Wanna play chess?” Nicole asked.
9 Likes
#Team Arstotska
Mike: Sure am glad we got approved for the comp!
Josh: Yeah man, How is the car holding up?
Mike: were you not paying attention the whole way here?
Josh: I kinda fell asleep in the back on the way here…
Mike: oh, anyway, It seems to be running okay, though the carb can use a small bit of a tune
Josh: Oh, shouldn’t be too much of an issue, what is one less MPG anyhow
Mike: difference of getting stuck somewhere without roads
Josh: oh, oh well, lets hope we don’t run out then
Mike: i’ll be sure to top it off in the morning, for now, claim either the rear or the front seat.
Josh: that’s obvious man, give me the back, there’s an actual mattress back there
Mike: okay then, guess i’ll try to get comfy in the front. I’m taking a pillow to at least let me lay across the front seats.
7 Likes
Team Outriders
Marc: Okay, here’s a long stretch, no traffic.
Blake: Looks good, hit it.
(The Enforcer roars up as Marc floors the gas pedal, the car accelerates hard with no unexpected loss of power. Marc then slows down)
Blake: Son of a bitch! No sign of any issues.
Marc: I definitely felt it lose power on the way here, why is it not doing anything now?
Blake: Hell if I know, she’s getting a solid spark.
Marc: Anything come up on the scanner?
(Blake looks at the Petoskey XGV scan tool that’s plugged into the Enforcers DLC. The XGV is not the latest scanner in service, but it is more than adequate for the 1997 car)
Blake: Bah! No codes, nothing amiss from sensor outputs, according to this piece of junk, the car should be top notch.
Marc: I’ll turn her around and we’ll try again.
Blake: Yeah, and watch the scanner just conveniently cuts out the moment the problem surfaces again.
Marc: I wish we could’ve stopped by the Motor Pool before setting off, some extra eyes on the car would probably be helpful.
Blake: Except we only have a handful of Enforcers now, Before I left Luigi was mostly involved with those new BlackFoot Interceptors.
Marc: Last time I stopped by he was wrapping his brain around that turbo problem with the Owossos.
Blake: Nothing on that pass either, (sigh) Let’s go find lunch, I’m starved.
Marc: Good idea, maybe we can think better on a full stomach.
10 Likes
Team POD; Pre-trip.
In this camp ground of 20 hoopties. One car in particular seems especially pathetic. Not many people have seen one since Peter Gabriel was in Genesis. 3 blokes, all with grey hairs, were loitering around the thing. The 1967 Platts Special Siskin.
People around them were bewildered. Because the car in question doesn’t look like it should be allowed anywhere near the road. Let alone on a 500 miles road trip. Hell, it shouldn’t exist today. Everyone thought these were long gone. Owing to terrible reliability and subsequent catastrophic sales number.
Then, a car appears on the street. It was a brand new Bavaria type car. An old, thin man with a friendly face stepped off the thing and walk towards the bucket that was the Special Siskin. 3 men had been expected the arrival of this guy.
“Hello chaps.” The thin man said with a smooth voice “I heard there’s been some problem with the car. How serious is it?”
“It could be quite serious, Trevor.” The oldest looking man replied. “You know these Platts have the Bork-Warwick transmission. They’re quite fragile. And yesterday while merging onto a motorway, it slipped into third. But then again Mister Monnet here was driving.”
“What are you implying, Rory?” A relatively young looking guy with a cigarette in his hand chuckle while reply. “I never broke a car while driving, only when crashing!”
“That’s what worrying me.” The other guy who was packing stuff into the back of the Special Siskin started speaking. “As far as I know, people call you The Wiltshire Flipper. I have seen a picture of you next to an upside-down Znopresk, like Erik Carlsson.”
“Hey, don’t knock on him too much alright, Mr.Derr? Jimmy Monnet’s driving might be a bit exuberant, but he’s not an idiot. Right?” Trevor said while visibly sneering at Monnet. “Hey Rory, is there any other problem with the car?”
“Apart from it being a Special Siskin? For crying out loud Simmons. It’s a British car that was made using obsolete technology and with British electronics before sitting still in a barn for 30 years. It’s basically made out of rust and shorted circuit. This bloody car is the devil’s child of the Prince of Darkness himself!”
“Well for all it’s shortcoming, I think this isn’t a particularly bad example of a Special Siskin. And there’s a reason why I chose this alright. We could have been doing this trip in a Bavaria UWOT30, that would be a really nice car. Or a Kowai Kool, those are great. But come on, what readers want to read about a 500 miles trip in a Kowai? They wanted something interesting alright? And this car will certainly give them ‘interesting’…”
8 Likes
Team DSD
We arrived very early at about 8 am in the morning.
Romeo: OK so we are “camping” here tonight seams strange for a camping ground?
DS5: Yeah I know right. Its completely different to our Aussie camping grounds…where’s the grass?
Romeo: There’s some…under the concrete picnic tables.
DS5: Feck me the yanks are strange look at the size of that Winnebago, this isn’t camping.
I mean wheres the dirt, the long grass and gumtrees? The tents here are bigger than my house! I am guessing we don’t have to worry about snakes, wombats and shit. This is so strange I’ll never get used to America.
Romeo: Oui. I know, it is beautiful but, and most of the people we have met have been open and friendly. And this is the land of the the v8.
DS5: yeah we have seen some amazing cars on the highways, nothing like home but…Ok anyway we are lot 23 over there I think…yep thats us…oh feck we have kids next to us fuck me.
Romeo: well lets set up the tent and shite and then go get some supplies…hopefully they will be gone when we get back.
checklist of stuff we need.
DS5: yep ready lets here the list
Romeo:We need supercharger belts, 500miles is about 800km’s so we should get at least 10 belts just in case.
We need spare thermostats, and intercooler and radiator piping and we need to make a new drivers wiper somehow…prob just duct tape a squidgy to the motor??
We need spare globes and fuses and have to gt that headlight working
Vacuum tubing and silicon for the brake booster and plenty of fluids.
DS5: And a radio I need something, anything
After returning to campgrounds few Hrs later
DS5: wow there’s a lot of old cars here…mainly vans…did we bring the wrong kinda car?
Romeo: Nope we are good… Those kids are still here.
DS5: – — – — ----- ----- ------ ----------- ----------- --------- ---- ------ – ------- - ----![due to the nature of the comment we at DSD have censored the above rant]
DS5: I am going fishing feck these campers little fecking screaming machines
Romeo; the other teams are setting up for the night I am going to go suss out the competition and make some friends… Do something useful and bring home a trout for dinner please?
DS5: No worries buddy do me a favor and say g’day for me I am just not in the mood for people at the moment.
Darkshine5 returns with two average sized trout at about 7p.m Romeo is waiting looking nervous.
DS5: I got dinner. Fecking fell in twice.
Romeo: yeah we got problems…Big problems . Put the fish over there and come here…
There’s another bunch of Aussies here and they have a Maesima and it looks pretty good.
DS5: So what…our ute is faster, better offroad and made in France hehe.
Romeo: Oui Oui are you on my side or theirs?
DS5: well…
Romeo: Ok shut up you Peu doué homme! The car is having problems with the American fuel i think.
DS5: HEY don’t make fun of my size you know I’m sensitive about that shit it’s because of a fucking shrapnel wound you insufferable frog! What issues? we tuned the car for 91 oct before shipping here from Australia?
Romeo: yes but, it seems that American 91oct is different to Aussie 91 oct, they both contain ethanol but the American stuff seems to hold a lot more water in it. I checked the fuel filters and they are full of water! We need to find a parts shop or a diesel vehicle that we can obtain a water separator and filter, preferably something from a large truck or bus.
DS5: Its 7 at night nowhere is going to be open…but there are some massive diesel Winnebago’s here…
Romeo: look at this stage just get me a filter I don’t care where it comes from.
DS5 slinks off
an hour later
DS5: I got one will this fit
Romeo: oui perfect … where did it come from?
DS5: you know those campers next to us with the loud fucking kids…well tomorrow when we leave they will not be following us hehe.
Romeo: did you really have to do that?
DS5: yep it was that or take it from the officials vehicle or one of the other teams, and that just seamed like a dickhead move.
Romeo: oui better to make friends than enemies. I will fit this but you will have to cook dinner petit homme.
DS5: DONT CALL ME SMALL!!! grrr yours is going to have the scales left on you bloody Émulsion vaginale!
7 Likes
Team Twin-Snail
Before departing to the campgrounds.
The Storm Automotive garage was a whirlwind of activity two days before the event. Luke yelled items off the list in desperation as panic started to set in. Meanwhile, Scott, Amy, and Linda were having a screaming match over who packed the blankets on top of the motor oil and didn’t check that the bottles were all closed first.
“Someone, stop screaming at each other, and go get the damn transmission fluid already! I shouldn’t be the only one packing the fuckin’ car!” Luke yelled, losing his temper. “We’ve got less than 48 hours, we’ll have to cannonball through the damn night to get there on time, and you three are wasting air screaming at each other instead of fixing the problem.”
Amy Storm was the first one to leave the shouting match, unloaded the soiled blankets and the burst motor oil bottle, then made some room for their industrial-sized container of automatic transmission fluid. “You know, Luke, this wouldn’t be necessary if you’d have just pulled the transmission and swapped it.”
“And defeat the spirit of the challenge, Amy? Buy a junker, patch it up, and drive the hell out of it. It never said ‘replace all the broken bits’ before ‘drive the hell out of it.’ So that’s why the old Sinistra has the automatic with the leaky valve body. The devil you know, after all…” Luke said.
“… Is at least one you can be prepared for.” Amy finished. “At least the trunk’s big enough for our stuff. Hey, Assholes, how about doing your share of the work!” she yelled to Scott and Linda.
“Fine. I’ll pack the food.” Scott said.
“No more fuckin’ beans, Scott. Seriously. We’re going to be on the road for quite some time, and the last thing any of us need is you and your atomic ass-blasts.”
“As if you and your perfume is any better, Linda. I’ll leave the beans out of the food if you leave the little spray bottle here.”
The hours flew by as the Raceworks Division finished packing the old Sinistra Savage, painted “Team Twin-Snail” on the trunk lid, and prepared for the long drive to start with.
“All aboard the Snail-Boat!” Luke said, getting into the driver’s seat. Linda and Scott took the back seats, and Amy took shotgun.
The drive to the campgrounds.
“God damn. Someone’s just failed their fucking emissions test!” Amy said, gagging as she rolled down the window. Luke rolled his down out of courtesy, as Linda looked like she was about to vomit.
“The least you could’ve done, Scott, is warn us first.” Linda said, before spraying the perfume in the back seat in a vain attempt to reduce the smell. This, however, had the unintended effect of making everything smell worse.
“We’re in a convertible, drop the top.” Scott said, trying to grab the perfume from Linda before he got another faceful of it.
“It sticks.” Luke said.
“I don’t care.”
“Fine, Scott, but you will when or if it starts raining.” Luke said, pulling off to the side of the road and hitting the switch for the top. It whirred quietly as the folding rag-top disappeared behind the rear seats, with just an ominous clunk being the only sign something was wrong with it. “And while we’re stopped, time to check and replace the fluids.”
“Yeah, and mind oiling that screaming bearing?” Linda said. “It’s driving me up the wall.”
“Two choices, Linda: Live with the noise, or I cut the power steering lines and we go without.”
“Not like I’m driving.”
“You might have to at some point.”
At the campgrounds.
“Ouch time!” Luke called, as he lobbed the car up over a parking divider in the parking lot, drove through the campsite following exactly none of the paths, and parked off to the side, looking at the chaos he’d caused with their oil-burning Snail-Boat and the huge cloud of blue smoke following them.
“Really? We’re not even in the challenge yet, and you’re already trying to kill us, Luke?” Linda said.
“Says the one who fucking hosed the back seat in perfume so that all I could smell up here was shit and roses.” Amy snapped, giving a little glare at both Linda and Scott. “And you, one more exhaust leak like that on this trip, and you’ll be walking. I don’t care if Luke says you’ve got off-road experience, that was worse than walking into the Engineer’s Bathroom.”
“Like I can control my farts, Amy.” Scott said.
“Put your gassy-ass to good work and help set up some tents, Scott.” Luke said, tossing a bundle on the ground as he went for the transmission fluid and a bottle of motor oil.
“Oh, fine, make fun of me because I had a gas attack.” Scott mumbled, only for Luke to respond with, “We do have a spare catalytic converter in here, if your gas attacks are going to be frequent and noxious. I’ll gladly fit it.”
“No thanks, Luke.” Scott said.
Linda hopped out of the car, grabbed some supplies, and promptly got a little fire going for the team to cook over. Which is around the same time that the three living members of the team realized no one really knew how to cook on a campfire. Sure, Scott knew how to wrap things up in tin-foil and snuggle it up to the engine for warmth, but they’d get thrown out of the campsite if he started revving the smoke-machine to get that big cast-iron block warm. Amy and Linda knew a little of cooking, though Amy preferred letting her boyfriend, a chef in a notable restaurant, do the cooking for her.
Which is precisely when Luke unpacked his bag of supplies and brought out several pans. “You guys thought you were doomed to cold food, weren’t you? No, I don’t need to eat, but I’ve been looking forward to trying a few recipes I’ve committed to memory.”
“So that’s why you had a bag labeled ‘Food’ in the car. Pots and pans for cooking.” Amy said.
“Yeah, along with my usual stuff. Some spare parts for fixing the car, hydraulic fluid and clamps in case I blow a line, the little things. Spare chassis air filter in case someone tries polluting the air again.”
“I said I’m sorry already. What more do you want?” Scott said.
“Well, for starters, no more of that in the car without warning. Because I can’t have the rest of the team complaining and wanting to throw you overboard. I am the captain of this ship, and I will not tolerate mutiny.” Luke said.
It didn’t take long for Luke to make a quick meal, and shortly after, the team retreated to their resting areas. Scott was in his own tent, Amy and Linda were sharing a rather large one, and Luke settled back into the driver’s seat of the Sinistra. It wasn’t that he distrusted the other teams, more that he had no need for sleep, and preferred keeping watch. He checked the screen on his arm, a completely un-necessary thing to do, but he preferred to do so when configuring it. He set the display to just show the time, date, and his current system stats.
Shortly after, Luke switched off his wifi, internal GPS, cellular radio, and satellite internet connection, going as off-the-grid as he could to keep in the spirit of the challenge. He then placed the little compass he’d brought with on the dashboard, right above the gauges.
“Now the true challenge begins.” he said quietly to himself, watching the other teams.
10 Likes
Team Cignale
[…]
-Ribs? -Check
-Sausages? -Check
-Steaks? -Check
-Breams? -Check
-Pepper? -Check
-Beer? -Check
-Wine? -Check, but i think 25 liters for 2 days is not enough
-Okay, take another damigiana (5 liters bottle, the one with straw around)
-I think we have everything, we are ready to start this race.
-Hey guys, they sell maps, it might be useful!
-How much?
-12$
-It’s a theft, but let’s buy one, it can be useful. Where we need to go now?
-In the mail that they sent me it says that they organized a base camp here [Luca indicates a small map on a sheet]
-Let’s load those thing and go there guys! I’m hungry.
At the camp:
-It seem we are the biggest around, look at that!
-What it is?
-I think an Inne Grasshopper, '85 or so.
-It look like the shrunken version of our van, even the same colour
-Here in America they love pick-up trucks, i’ve never seen so many all together.
-Please, stop talking, i want to eat something. Luca, at the kitchen, Marco, turn on the external speakers, i prepare the table, the party is starting!
6 Likes
Just reading through, as this thread is going to be like an interactive story, could all the teams please link to their original post (so we can see what their team and car is all about) when posting an RP?
Otherwise I like how this goes so far 
7 Likes
Oooh, that’s a great idea - I think that I’ll link all my previous RP posts too
2 Likes
Yeah, I can do that. Makes sense if everyone’s trying to follow the story to be able to find the start of the story.
2 Likes