Shitbox Rally 2023 - Stage 14 (FINISHED!)

Stage 8:

Moonshadow Village to Kingsburg


Temperature at mid-day: 20°C
Night-time Low: 12°C
Expected Weather: A thick cloud cover looms overhead, but retains the rain within, leaving the roads and people dry. Humidity is fairly high and winds are noticeable, although not exceptionally strong.


Camp Challenge: Kingsburg Quarter-mile (402 meters).


Ah, here it is, the infamous off-road stage.

Today, we’re following an old logging trail from Moonshadow Village out to Kingsburg. While the “road” is wide enough to reliably pass one another on the way, and the curves are gentle enough for even the biggest vehicles in the group to handle without trouble, well… We’re driving on hard-packed dirt with bark chips added for traction material.

While there’s no real posted speed limits, the “acceptable average” speed is about 25 MPH. This is reinforced when we leave the trail and end up on a main road heading into Kingsburg… With a posted speed limit of 25 MPH / 40km/h and police cars everywhere.

If Moonshadow Village was small but tall, Kingsburg is just about the opposite. With 800,000 people in this city, and the beginnings of almost-suburban-sprawl starting to creep in, thanks to an irrational fear from the city planners about building upward instead of outward, it takes us a long while to trundle into the center of town. It takes just as long to meander our way out toward the outskirts on the far side, where our campground is.

Unlike the last few times, however, our campground is shared with some curious locals who created a little community across the road in some abandoned train cars. With two sleeper coaches, a caboose, and a box-car kitchen, they’ve set out to prove that it COULD be possible to live in mobile houses.


Next Stage Expected Conditions:

Road Speed: very high
Road Condition: good
Traffic: very high
Police: moderate to high


Results Here: SR23 Stage 8 - Google Drive


@Madrias

Team Shift Happens

Everyone was glad to see that the off-road prowess of the HD-GV units was able to make the off-road stage look easy. Other than Takaraya earning himself a warning for speeding, there’s not much that went wrong.


@Elizipeazie:

VS Mobil Generator AB

Of course, the real off-road experts spent their time away from the dirt, and instead, they rocketed away on shining steel rails. When it came time to park for the night, they ended up close to the locals, who were pleasantly surprised to see their plans for a mobile house were actually reasonable.


@UnderlovedGhost

Team M.A.D.

The crew in the Walkenhorst weren’t surprised when the Citrine left them in the dust courtesy of an unexpected and very irritating squealing noise from the front of the car. It’s a good thing they stopped, though, as that water pump really did need to be replaced with one of their spares.


@Shibusu

Team Sinesian Rejects

With Ianis taking the Itan and leaving for Earth, it’s just the Trio of Tragedy taking the Imbe off-road today. The constant use of lower gears and higher RPM means that the ping-o-matic engine under the hood is making more noise than usual. It’s no surprise when the head gasket lets go, though it is surprising that TJ chose to drive on and fix it in camp while the Imbe blows white smoke everywhere.


@Interior

Team Not-So-Slow

It turns out that navigating is hard. After driving out onto the road after several hours of dirt with wood chips for traction, the navigator sent you on an almost 3-and-a-half hour detour. A warning was issued for speeding when trying to make up time after the mistake was discovered.


@TheYugo45GV

The Ambassadors

Normally, a popped tire on the Mayland Ambassador wouldn’t be a huge deal. However, when it happens in the dirt with no good place to put a jack, jack-stands, or even wheel chocks to keep the car still, it turns a simple tire change into a nearly 8 hour ordeal, especially when someone swears they saw a leopard-sized cougar watching them.


@Doot

The Knockouts

Another one who got bitten by bad navigation, leading Kate to head way off course with screaming sirens behind her. She turned around and tried to weave through the police cars, only to get fenced in and stopped by the Kingsberg Police Unit. They were a little more… Eager to unleash the Dyre when Kate weighed the choice to run, and she found herself caught after two steps in the wrong direction. Octavia, on the other hand, has no issues other than driving around a badly parked patrol car.


@MrdjaNikolen

Team Mravolinski-Chitco

Both vehicles spend a surprising amount of time getting stuck, and then helping un-stick the other vehicle. Unsurprisingly, the Kontir Cunningham has less issues with road-bound hazards, though the massive camper unit collects every tree branch it can find, forcing the team to clear branches ahead or risk a repeat of SR 2022’s camper destruction.


@Jaimz68

Team HETS

It was going so well until a tire burst and caused the VanGo to hit a tree. Thankfully, all of the damage was easily fixable, just very time consuming.


@AMuteCrypt

Team Flaming Gallahs

Sure, the bus isn’t really the most off-road-oriented vehicle in the world, but if she can be Queen of the Desert, then she can also be Queen of the Dirt.


@Edsel

Team Friendship! :smiley:

Not much to say here, it’s just a slow-going off-road stage for two cars driving a bus.


@Knugcab

Team Hillbilly Rollers

Other than Andreas getting a warning for excessive speed driving from the dirt road onto the actual paved road, it’s a good simple stage. Marie, however, spends an unusual amount of time mentioning how much she dislikes cats after seeing a cougar cross the road.


@Odyssey_Fan

Team Sane Insanity

What’s harder than a tire change in the woods? A tire change in the woods, on a rental you can’t afford to scratch, with only the tools provided in the back of the rental minivan… And one leopard-sized cougar that decided the roof of the van was a good place to rest for a while. The hardest part of the whole ordeal was chasing the cat away without getting the van scratched up in the process.


@PortalKat42

Faolan Industries

Both Aethers show their 30’s era roots by having no issues with a bit of dirt today.


@AndiD

Team Taciturn

What’s another warning for speeding among friends? Apparently the Mara is a bit popular with the police here, as they like the idea of a semi-rugged off-road capable car for dealing with moonshine smugglers using the dirt road to escape justice.


@BannedByAndroid

Team ReUnity

No problems in the fast crossover, even when outrunning the cops. They’re definitely looking for better cars to bust ‘shine runners, and SUVs might just be the kind of thing they’re looking into.


@SheikhMansour

Team Spy Kids

When both of these cars shot out of the woods like bats from hell, the Kingsberg Police had no clue how to deal with them. It’s another clean getaway.


@IDK158

Team J3

It’s a good bit of trouble for Team J3 today. Between nearly 4 hours of fixing the Willow’s gearbox, and then an unplanned detour adding up to almost 7 hours of total breakdown time, plus a warning and a speeding ticket, it’s not a good day.


@JCurtiss96 & @Leone

Team Aeromad

Other than the driver of the Torrento getting a warning for excessive speed, it’s a clean run today. The deafening roar of airplane engines through the forest won’t soon be forgotten… If only because two of the police officers have to shout to hear each other for several hours after the traffic stop.


@Tzuyu_main & @FallingComet

Team Black Rabbit Disavowed

Other than the Seikatsu being ticketed for speeding, it’s a clean run. How that was managed with a giant military truck is beyond anyone’s belief.


@Texaslav

Sheriff Scott’s Posse

It is possible to teach old dogs new tricks: This time it was just speed warnings, instead of the other car getting a ticket for honking at the unlucky one to get caught first.


@Xepy

Team “486”

Camp Challenge Winner - Kaufmann Viera Custom: 11.82 seconds
Being fast in a quarter mile seems to be what saved this team from getting caught by the cops. Or maybe they just live a quarter mile at a time? Either way, they escaped into the campground and waited, perhaps impatiently, for the rest of the crews to turn up.


@S_U_C_C_U_L_E_N_T

Team Magdelena

Turns out that, yes, even an ambulance has to obey speed limits when it’s not actively in an emergency. Thankfully, it’s just a warning this time.


@SurrealCereal

Team Machinas Con Passione

With the Blue Wonder making a wrong turn and driving 2 hours and 16 minutes off-course before turning around and adding another 2:16 to the time, for a total of 4 hours and 32 minutes of added stage time, and the Faenza throwing a serpentine belt in the woods, it’s not a great stage for anyone on this team.


@GetWrekt01 & @That-S-Cop

Cunning Stunts

It’s just a casual speeding ticket for the driver of the VHT Supermobile. Oops.


@EnCR

Team Till D End

A clean stage for the team, no cop-stops, no breakdowns.


@LS_Swapped_RX-7

Basedworks

Other than the driver of the MCMOTD being stopped and given a warning that “drifting” is not acceptable on these roads, it’s a clean enough stage.


@Mikonp7

Team Gunship

What’s more fun than blasting through the woods in an open-cockpit road racer? Probably not much. Shoveling all of that dirt out of the car will suck, though.


@Ldub0775

4 Dicks in a Truck

We’re not sure how this rig and trailer were weaved through here, but we’re fairly sure the trailer will be less than pretty after Mother Nature redecorated the paint with tree branches. It’s a clean run, minus the scuff marks.

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