Shitbox Rally - Stage 0
Stage 0: Nevada (United States) to Menes (Holsia) via the Rift
Weather: 20°C, light fog, dry.
Like the previous two years, the infamous Rift Convoy starts out almost exactly the same way. Kivenaal opens up the wooden shed’s doors, borrowing power from Kasiya this time to open the Rift, before a single file line of cars drives in, and the doors are closed behind the last car. It’s 301 kilometers of slow-going convoy work, made slower by refueling on the way from fuel cans and a handful of breakdowns.
The first breakdown was a little bit spectacular when Cunning Stunts blew a head-gasket on their motorcycle, causing a huge blue cloud of smoke and the engine to run really rough. Despite it being a long and time-consuming process, the decision was made to spend the next 7 hours pulling the engine and changing the gasket.
Then there was Team Fuist, who got on the radio to say that they had to fix things because the battery wasn’t charging while they were waiting on Cunning Stunts to fix their bike. A bit of fumbling around with a replacement alternator led to the car being fine again after about an hour.
Machinas Con Passione joined the breakdown list when their shitbox decided that everyone around it needed a coolant shower while people were working on repairs, and it blew the radiator cap in glorious fashion. Between waiting for the engine to cool down from recreating Chernobyl, trying to find a team with enough water on hand to fill up the radiator, and then filling said radiator with a half-liter bottle, it took two hours for the car to be ready to run again.
Team Firulais also had a car that didn’t like idling, doing much the same as the MCP machine and taking two hours to fix, mostly spent waiting for Giacomo to get out of the way so they could get a coolant jug filled up by Jayde.
Straight Outta Saratos also had some small issues involving a screaming alternator belt. The fix was easy… Most of the hour spent was removing cargo from on top of the engine, and then putting it all back.
Even the hosts aren’t immune to breakdowns, with the experimental self-driving AI panicking and jamming the brakes hard on, refusing to move the bus because the GPS signal had been lost. Two hours of “brain surgery” with Malavera’s laptop manages to solve the problem… for now.
Then there were the strange cases of Team Ramjet and Transporttjäns Eriksson Aktiebolag Eslöv, both teams having faced little more than a tire that had aired down, but was able to be pumped back up again.
Luckily enough, all of the vehicles were fixed (or “fixed” in some cases), and the voyage continued.
As the exit is opened up, we roll out of the front of a small warehouse onto a pier, dodging the occasional bit of relatively heavy equipment used for cargo handling. Near the warehouse, a set of rails is barely visible in the cobblestone, made even harder to see thanks to the train that is currently sitting on it.
As the Rift gate closes, the warehouse door is opened again to reveal showering facilities and a well-stocked bathroom. A banner over the warehouse announces, in Holsian State Railways font, “Holsian State Railways welcomes the 2024 Shitbox Rally to Holsia.” A nearby clock reveals that it is 5 Sun, equivalent to Noon.
The train is quickly revealed to be our support unit - Onboard, there’s dining cars, cargo boxcars with tools inside, and several passenger coaches. We’re expected to set up camp where we can, just like the old days.
Those who choose to wander around the city will find it’s a relatively comfortably sized port city, roughly 335,000 people, longer than it is wide.
(Trying something new this year with the stage blurbs - Rather than writing everything out for each team, which can be really, really boring and repetitive when things don’t go wrong, I’m including major events in the main stage blurb. If your car isn’t mentioned, it’s because you didn’t have trouble.)
Spreadsheet is here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/e/2PACX-1vQriVPEky_B00QiZ6lYrtLVt-u3XWPQW7CvfFNFordo91W4o4LYgWKmW6-SchgIpnTR4wQ6cfSyyQfl/pubhtml
(This spreadsheet will update before stages release. It will be linked in each post, but the link will remain the same.)