What constitutes as “humanoid” lies within host discretion
or
LOL
It’s mostly there to prevent sentient cars, or other outlandish escalations like we saw last year.
so, i basically need to create a car with approximate cost of 2000$ and imagine a team with 2 names in it?
1 Like
Create any car, but have a loose reason why it cost your team $2,000 or less, and at least a two character team.
Note: I have two teams because I’m one of the hosts of this challenge. I’ve wanted to have the Highway Hooligans come back, but Shift Happens is essential to this challenge.
Team Shift Happens
Our usual suspects when it comes to starting intergalactic automotive shenanigans, Team “Shift Happens” has gone through quite a lot in the last year. How much? A lot.
The Crew:
Kaylie Malradi
Race: Panthirian Tigrilan
Age: 104 Earth Years (70 Panthirian Years)
Height: 6’5" (195.5 cm)
Weight: 190 pounds (86.2 kg)
Of the crew who hasn’t had much changing in her life, Kaylie is still the owner of Twin Suns Towing & Garage. What is new in her life is that now there’s an Aerodrome just a bit further out back. Still happily married to Jayde, she’s just doing the best she can despite several agencies “stealing all of her good workers.”
Jayde Malradi
Race: Aetheriian Leoni
Age: 55 Earth Years (36 Aetheriian Years)
Height: 8’5" (256.5 cm)
Weight: 397 pounds (180 kg)
Jayde, like Kaylie, hasn’t really had a huge amount of changes in his life… Up until very recently, at least. His love for adventuring resurfaced, and he signed on with an agency, ARRD (Asset Recovery, Removal, and Destruction), to satisfy that need. In his downtime from the agency, he still works on fixing cars… Or slinging curses to people who deserve them.
Kayden Grayson
Race: Panthirian Tigrilan
Age: 104 Earth Years old (70 Panthirian Years)
Height: 7’8" (233.7 cm)
Weight: 422 pounds (191.4 kg)
Another one who hasn’t seen a lot of change in his life, except a surprise for the better. See… Kayden found a partner in the last year, an unexpected new arrival who escaped from a darker time in her world’s history. The two haven’t made things official yet, but they are definitely partners.
Sariya Rahmuran-Valdiya
Race: Aetheriian Jaguar Valraadi
Age: 104 Earth Years old. (69 Aetheriian years)
Height: 6’10" (208.2 cm)
Weight: 252 pounds (114.3 kg)
Escaping from the Second War of Magic was always Sariya’s plan. Her ability to “open-rift” (Opening the Rift without use of a doorway or frame) with large vehicles made her incredibly important to the Valraadi Air-Force. When her morals clashed with her orders, she escaped to Earth, sadly without her plane. There, she ran into Kayden and his family, and quickly became one of the family.
Lauren Grayson
Race: Panthirian Tigrilan
Age: 62 Earth Years old. (42 Panthirian years)
Height: 6’0" (182.8 cm)
Weight: 175 pounds (79.3 kg)
The cute-yet-fiesty younger sister to the twins, Kayden and Kaylie, Lauren showed up one day and just got involved in Twin Suns Towing & Garage. You need a car painted, she’ll whip something up. Just… Don’t ask her to surprise you - It will surprise you, and you probably won’t like it. Also amusingly the smallest person in the house, playing with a much larger partner in the same house.
Manikihali Timberfeld
Race: Gray Aetheriian + Dyre Wolf Hybrid
Age: 50 Earth Years old (33 Aetheriian Years)
Height: 8’8" (264.2 cm)
Weight: 625 pounds (272.1 kg)
Manikihali, otherwise called Mani by his friends, stepped right out of the same Rift gate we’re all planning to use to go to Holsia this time. He’s way out of his depth as a battlemage from the First War of Magic, making him roughly equivalent to a Roman Legionary stumbling into today’s world. Given his past, questions of the bedroom nature shouldn’t be asked around him - He will give you advice… It’s no surprise, then, why Lauren gets along well with him.
Malavera Caller-of-the-Moons
Race: Orthrian Khalan
Age: 359 Earth Years old (51 Khalara-5 Years)
Height: 8’2" (249.3 cm)
Weight: 519 pounds (235.4 kg)
“Weren’t you… shorter last year?” Yes, Malavera was. Then he got himself into a bit of trouble, some of his past caught up to him (Turns out, being a notorious gangster in the 1920’s through the 1960’s is fine, but being the infamous hacker was what almost got him caught), and the ERA (Extraterrestrial Resettlement Agency) offered him a deal he couldn’t refuse. Now he’s their “Information Management Specialist” as well as Kaylie’s tow-rig dispatcher, and the owner of Mooncaller Mining Company. The extra height isn’t the only thing new in his life - Meeting his Daughter was also an… experience.
Kivenaal Khakrin-Marinseien
Race: Light Aetheriian + Valraadi (Post-Fall) Hybrid
Age: 63 Earth Years old (41 Aetheriian Years)
Height: 8’6" (259.0 cm)
Weight: 538 pounds (244 kg)
The infamous prankster really hasn’t changed much - He’s still Mal’s partner, still works at Twin Suns, and still pulls pranks. However, he’s a little more comfortable with who he is. The orange markings on his wrists are the result of Malavera getting annoyed when their household hosted a couple of deities on vacation. After Malavera had mistaken Xelth for Kivenaal one too many times, the decision was made to give one of the two some distinctive markings. Kiva doesn’t mind - He thinks they look cool.
Takaraya Wintermoon
Race: Khalan (Khalara 5, Genetically Altered)
Age: 176 Earth Years old (25 Khalara-5 Years)
Height: 8’10" (269.2 cm)
Weight: 659 pounds (298.9 kg)
One of the ones who experienced the most changes this year, Takaraya has gone from a mechanic at Twin Suns to a Captain in the Khalan Royal Navy, in command of his own Super Star Destroyer, Last Shadow. He helped in a couple of missions for ERA, and he ended up with a partner, Natalia, as a result. Natalia isn’t here because her idea of fun doesn’t include sitting in a car for hours on end.
Kasiya Wintermoon
Race: Gray Aetheriian + Khalan (20% Khalara 5, 20% Khalara 3, 10% Khalara 9) Hybrid
Age: 71 Earth Years old (10 Khalara-5 Years)
Height: 10’0" (304.8 cm)
Weight: 1378 pounds (625 kg)
Easily the most changed person here from last year. Between switching from a job at Twin Suns to a job at ERA, and then many changes happening over many missions, he’s changed a lot. The “Cliff Notes” version? Went to post-fall Aetherii to help revive the planet, died, and returned to life with magic. Studied magic at Tendragon Academy, blew a potion up in his face, and got four arms out of the deal. Blessed by his patron deity at the time to heal a lot faster and be a lot stronger in his time of recovery. Went to another world to evacuate a population before a nuclear winter could wipe them out, and partially ascended. Now, he’s the Neo-Aetheriian God of Peace and Renewal, and he’s having a bit of a hard time with accepting that. Thankfully, one of the other changes is that he’s recently married to someone who tries to help level him out.
Inaelus Scorched-Root
Race: Light Aetheriian + Orthrian Khalan (Khalara 5) Hybrid
Age: 52 Earth Years old (Ship Born, No Homeworld)
Height: 8’7" (261.6 cm)
Weight: 661 pounds (300 kg)
It’s bad enough knowing you were conceived in a one-night-stand 52 years ago… It’s worse when you find out that your father would have actually loved to know you existed. Inaelus arrived with fury and venom, and now has mellowed out regarding her father - She understands now that he really didn’t know. She partnered up with Kasiya, and she joined up with ERA as an agent, but what really, really made her “Whole fraggin’ solar year” was when her magic awakened and she found out how to use it.
The Vehicle
2004 MHI/AMCW City Shuttle
Big people need a big vehicle. This bus really was picked up for less than $2,000, mostly because it’s a city shuttle bus and thereby it’s geared for city use. Oh, it can do highway speed… With the engine howling at redline. Their trailer is a “box of holding,” but it’s mostly full of food, camping supplies, and tools.
Of course, the big thing notable about it is, well… The declaration that the bus has an AI onboard. Takaraya and Malavera worked together for half a year to write the code, and have been training it ever since. It speaks in beeps, dings, and emoticons on a display in the cab… And is likely to spend much of its time displaying !? :( on the main display on the tight, twisty roads we’re driving this year.
4 Likes
Team Highway Hooligans
The Crew:
Cody Acorne
Race: Human
Age: 40 Years Old
Height: 5’9" (175 cm)
Weight: 280 pounds (127 kg)
Far from the brains of the operation, Cody is mainly here because he’s Trevor’s and Jake’s friend, and a decent driver. He’s also a decent mechanic, and understands a little about camping even if he does hate it. And he’s probably the best cook of the trio.
Jake Storm
Race: Human
Age: 36 Years Old
Height: 5’7" (170 cm)
Weight: 300 pounds (136 kg)
If there’s anyone who could be considered the brains of the operation, it’s Jake. Having recently quit his job at Storm Automotive after his Engine Design job turned into a soul-sucking shit-storm, Jake’s bounced back remarkably well. He’s happier now, he’s in a better mood, he moved out of Chicago to Nevada, and he met a partner there. Rowan just… Wasn’t interested in playing contortionist to fit in a midsize shoebox just to ride along with Jake.
Trevor Wright
Race: Human
Age: 51 Years Old
Height: 6’0" (183 cm)
Weight: 264 pounds (120 kg)
Trevor’s the guy who actually figured out their shitbox for this year. Owning a junkyard might not make you a lot of money, but Trevor’s a bit proud of “A Wright Wreck” and the amount of shit he can get his hands on. Like their current vehicle, for example.
The Car
2005 Ishu Astrion
What happens when you find a station wagon that’s been murdered-up-the-ass by an SUV in a rear end collision, a shitty You-Haul trailer with no axle, and the rear axle out of some cheap German hatchback?
You chop the rest of the bashed backside off of the wagon, you create a frame to mount the trailer to the back, fabricobble a truck’s fuel tank onto the car, stuff a rack of gas cans on the other side, and slide the unpowered rear axle under the back end of this crime against automobiles.
The end result? A front-wheel-drive, V6-powered, 5-speed fun-stick shifted shitbox with more storage than is reasonable, a slightly extended wheelbase, and a few problems to work out.
The dead horn? Air compressor, car battery, solar charging panel, and two air horns on the roof will fix it. The mysterious ticking noise in the DOHC engine? 20w50 in the engine that wanted 10w30 before to shut it up. That malodorous reeking stink? “Felony tree” of Black Ice Little Trees thrown around the interior rear view mirror.
Then they asked Lauren for a loud-as-fuck paint job. The Orange-that-is-also-Purple was what Lauren whipped up.
Be prepared for loud engines revving through the camp, lots of beer and charcoal grilling, and some light chaos. The Highway Hooligans are Back at last!
6 Likes
This is mostly copy pasted from the team submission for the 24h. Some of the information has been mentioned in more detail on the discord, but I really don’t see a need to revise it here for now. However, the vehicle has been largely modified since the previous appearance, so that has been updated to reflect. I’ve also updated the history under ‘Entrant Number 17’ a bit. This should be final, but there may be an edit if I realize I screwed something up majorly : P
Edit: Aaaaand Discourse has updated and screwed my formatting practices. Fuck. Have a raw doc I guess.
Transporttjäns Eriksson Aktiebolag Eslöv
The Car
The Sceptre Automotive Company
Note: This information is not necessary to understand the state of this vehicle; I'm simply including it for flavour, and to elaborate on the history. Reader Beware.The Sceptre Automotive Company traces its roots back to the mid-1950s when Canadian entrepreneur Harold MacNeill founded the company with the intention of creating innovative and reliable vehicles. MacNeill's passion for automobiles and his belief in pushing the boundaries of automotive engineering laid the foundation for what would become the Sceptre legacy.
In the early years, Sceptre gained recognition for producing cutting-edge vehicles that were ahead of their time. Their commitment to quality and innovation led to the introduction of the Sceptre Caducus series in the mid-60s. During this era, Sceptre vans were considered top-of-the-line and known for their durability and advanced features.
However, as the automotive landscape evolved, Sceptre faced challenges in adapting to changing market demands. By the 1980s, the company struggled to maintain its competitive edge against formidable rivals like the larger Ford E-Series vans. Despite their pioneering history, Sceptre's designs were perceived as increasingly out of touch with modern trends.
The 1999-2001 Caducus marked a crucial juncture in Sceptre's history. Despite its ambitious engineering and robust build, the van suffered from a reputation for overengineering that paradoxically resulted in poor overall quality. The Caducus symbolized the company's attempt to regain its former glory, blending a compact design comparable to a Renault Kangoo with a powerful engine more fitting for a half-ton pickup. Combined with a suspension rated for a ridiculous tonne and a half of cargo, this reputation for overengineering was certainly deserved.
Sceptre made a strategic move to expand its market presence by introducing the 1999 Caducus to the European theatre. Unfortunately, the timing proved unfortunate. The early 2000s witnessed a severe economic downturn in Canada and the United States, causing a significant decline in automotive sales. Sceptre, already struggling with financial losses, found itself unable to weather the storm.
As the recession deepened, Sceptre faced insurmountable challenges, and in June 2001, the company folded, marking the end of an era. The demise of Sceptre was not only a consequence of economic hardship but also reflective of the company's inability to reconcile its ambitious engineering with the practical demands of the market. The Caducus, once as a flagship product, became a symbol of Sceptre's frailty in the face of evolving automotive landscapes.
The Eriksson’s Company, and Associated Van
In 2001, as the dark clouds of Sceptre's imminent collapse loomed on the horizon, the four Eriksson siblings, Aatto, Elin, Sven, and Linnéa, embarked on a venture that would test both their entrepreneurial spirit and the limits of their trusty Sceptre Caducus. With aspirations to establish their own delivery company, Transporttjäns Eriksson Aktiebolag Eslöv, the siblings pooled their resources to acquire a Sceptre Caducus just before the automotive company met its untimely demise.
The Eriksson family's Caducus became an integral part of their budding business, navigating the streets of Eslöv and beyond as it ferried goods from one location to another. The van, however, was not without its quirks and challenges. Aatto, the eldest sibling and de facto leader of the business, quickly became acquainted with the van's idiosyncrasies, particularly its engine and transmission.
Over the years, the Erikssons engaged in a series of engine and transmission replacements. The 1999-2001 Caducus, despite its robust exterior, seemed to struggle with the demands of the delivery business. Yet, the Erikssons, determined to make the best of their investment, tirelessly kept the van in working order, swapping out engines and transmissions every few hundred kilos as needed.
One incident that left a lasting impression was Sven's (first) rollover in early 2002. The Caducus, burdened with a heavily underloaded suspension, proved to be less stable than anticipated. In response to the mishap, Aatto, always the problem solver, took it upon herself to address the van's precarious handling. Recognizing the need for a solution that went beyond conventional measures, Aatto made the bold decision to fit a custom-made Tungsten roll cage.
This roll cage, although unconventional and notably heavy, served a dual purpose. Aatto believed the added weight would help settle the underloaded suspension, providing a more stable ride for future deliveries. The Tungsten construction also ensured unprecedented durability, a crucial factor in the siblings' determination to make their Sceptre Caducus a reliable workhorse.
Despite the challenges and the collapse of Sceptre, the Eriksson family's van became a symbol of resilience and adaptability. The modified Caducus continued to serve Transporttjäns Eriksson AB Eslöv faithfully, a testament to the Erikssons' commitment to their business and their innovative approach to overcoming the shortcomings of their trusted but beleaguered delivery vehicle.
Entrant Number 17
In October 2023, amidst an unexpected slump in business, the Eriksson siblings faced an unexpected bout of boredom. Seeking an escape from the monotony, they decided: why not break the routine by entering a race? Despite their limited racing experience, the notion of a thrilling challenge ignited their collective enthusiasm, setting the stage for an impromptu racing venture.
The family's reliable workhorse, the Sceptre Caducus, became the focal point of their newfound endeavour. Aatto, the manager and mechanic, took charge of the minimalistic preparations. The van, already boasting a custom-made roll cage for added durability, required only modest adjustments like a few hastily installed racing seats - and a walkie-talkie taped to the dashboard that served as their rudimentary team radio - meant the family's approach was refreshingly uncomplicated, reflecting their belief that the true strength lay in their familial bond and the enduring capabilities of their trusty delivery van.
In the weeks leading up to the race, the Erikssons shifted their focus to preparation and anticipation. Aatto's mechanical expertise ensured the Caducus received meticulous maintenance, ensuring it was in prime condition - or, as much as could be expected of a delivery van with 999794 kilometres on the odo - for the upcoming challenge. Elin, the family's accountant, managed the logistics, securing the necessary permits and coordinating the entry details. Meanwhile, Sven and Linnea, the energetic duo, immersed themselves in researching basic racing techniques and strategies, eager to make the most of their limited experience on the track.
As the days passed and the race date drew near, the race became more than a diversion from the Business lull; it evolved into a shared adventure that would test their mettle and celebrate their familial unity. Little did they know the true challenge awaiting them on the race day itself, where their unorthodox approach and the unyielding spirit of the Eriksson family would be put to the ultimate test.
Although they may have come 6th, they enjoyed it immensely. A friend referred them to the Shitbox Rally totally not discord and thus, here we are.
The Team
Aatto (She/Her)
Aatto Eriksson is the Manager and Mechanic of Transporttjäns Eriksson AB Eslöv.
Born in 1980, she is the resilient and innovative leader of the Eriksson siblings, bringing a unique blend of determination and practicality to the helm. Aatto's age manifests as a wealth of experience, an asset she leverages to navigate the challenges of running a delivery company. Aatto's leadership style is characterized by a hands-on approach, a trait honed during her years as the family's de facto mechanic.
Aatto's personality is a mosaic of pragmatism and adaptability, forged through the trials of managing the family business and keeping their trusty but temperamental Sceptre Caducus on the road. Her role as both manager and mechanic has imbued her with a keen sense of problem-solving and an unyielding commitment to the success of their venture. Aatto's siblings find inspiration in her unwavering optimism, even in the face of the van's numerous quirks. Aatto's leadership is not just about steering the family business; it's about fostering resilience and resourcefulness within the Eriksson clan.
Aatto's abilities extend beyond her managerial role, as her mechanical prowess plays a crucial part in the continued operation of their aging but beloved delivery van. Her hands are adept at navigating the intricacies of the Sceptre Caducus, whether orchestrating engine and transmission replacements or, in a moment of ingenuity, deciding to outfit the van with a custom-made roll cage so Sven wouldn’t kill himself. Aatto's multifaceted skills have become the backbone of Transporttjäns Eriksson AB Eslöv, ensuring that the family's business survives and thrives.
Elin (He/Him)
Elin Eriksson, one year younger than his older sister, embodies versatility within the Eriksson family enterprise, serving as one of the drivers and the meticulous accountant for Transporttjäns Eriksson AB Eslöv. Elin's personality exudes a calm and collected demeanour, reflecting his pragmatic approach to the varied responsibilities he undertakes. Despite the inherent unpredictability of the delivery industry, Elin maintains a level-headed disposition, contributing a stabilizing presence to the Eriksson team. His innate attention to detail and organizational skills make him an ideal fit for the dual roles of driver and accountant, ensuring that both the family's deliveries and financial matters are managed with precision.
Elin's personality extends beyond his professional capacities, reflecting a genuine camaraderie with his siblings. As the middle child, he plays a crucial role in maintaining familial harmony, balancing Aatto's ingenuity with Sven's adventurous spirit and Linnea's exuberance. Elin's quiet determination and adaptability provide a steady hand in navigating the challenges faced by Transporttjäns Eriksson AB Eslöv, making him an indispensable pillar of support within the family and the business.
In addition to his driving duties and financial acumen, Elin possesses a keen analytical mind that proves invaluable in managing the company's accounts. His ability to sift through complex financial data, coupled with a keen understanding of the delivery industry's economic dynamics, allows Elin to offer strategic insights to Aatto, aiding in the family business's decision-making processes. Elin's multifaceted abilities contribute to the cohesive functioning of Transporttjäns Eriksson AB Eslöv, reinforcing the family's collective effort to overcome challenges and thrive in their chosen enterprise.
Sven (He/Him)
Sven Eriksson, at 40, injects an unmistakable dose of energy into the dynamic landscape of Transporttjäns Eriksson AB Eslöv. Renowned as the alternate driver for the family's delivery company and the (fraternal) twin brother of Linnea, Sven is a whirlwind of chaotic enthusiasm, infusing a spirited and lively atmosphere into daily operations. Sven's personality is characterized by an irrepressible exuberance and a penchant for speed, making him a magnetic force within the Eriksson family and a favourite among colleagues. His daring approach to life, while occasionally challenging the norms, adds a vibrant and adventurous dimension to the family business.
As Linnea's twin, Sven shares a unique and unbreakable bond with the younger sister. Their fraternal connection creates a dynamic synergy within the Eriksson family, balancing Sven's energetic impulsiveness with Linnea's youthful exuberance. Together, they embody a spirited duo that brings joy and liveliness to the family and the workplace. While Sven's zest for life might occasionally clash with Aatto's pragmatism, the twins' boundless enthusiasm often serves as a catalyst for creativity and out-of-the-box thinking within Transporttjäns Eriksson AB Eslöv.
Behind the wheel, Sven's abilities shine through as a skilled and daring driver. His penchant for speed, though occasionally earning him a reputation for driving a bit too fast, becomes an asset in the world of deliveries. Sven's agility and quick reflexes, honed through years of navigating the roads with an adventurous spirit, allow him to adapt to the ever-changing demands of the delivery business. While his driving style might raise an occasional eyebrow, Sven's abilities contribute a dynamic edge to Transporttjäns Eriksson AB Eslöv, making him an indispensable part of the family's journey through the challenging terrains of the delivery industry.
Linnéa (She/Her)
Linnéa Eriksson, Sven's fraternal twin, shares a chronological and emotional bond with her exuberant brother. She stands as the most energetic and physically robust member of the Eriksson family, serving as the formidable muscle of Transporttjäns Eriksson AB Eslöv. Linnéa's personality, while not as overtly exuberant as Sven's, exudes a quiet strength and determination that complements the family dynamic. Her unwavering commitment to the success of the delivery company is evident in her role as the powerhouse and occasional backup driver should the brothers be otherwise engaged.
Linnéa's relationship with her siblings, particularly Sven, is marked by a harmonious synergy. Their shared age and experiences have fostered a deep understanding, allowing them to collaborate seamlessly within the family business. Linnéa's calm and steady demeanour provides a grounding force, balancing the vibrant energy of her twin brother and contributing to the cohesive unity of the Eriksson family. Her willingness to occasionally take the driver's seat showcases a versatility that further reinforces the family's adaptability in the face of challenges.
Beyond her role as the family's muscle, Linnéa's physical strength is a notable asset within the context of the delivery industry. Whether loading and unloading cargo or handling unexpected challenges on the road, Linnéa's robust capabilities ensure the smooth execution of daily operations. Her ability to seamlessly step into the driver's role when needed adds an extra layer of flexibility to Transporttjäns Eriksson AB Eslöv, showcasing Linnéa's indispensable contribution to the family's success in navigating the demanding terrains of the delivery business.
The Stats
To the untrained eye, the van may appear to be the same as was brought to the 24H event in Sweden a few months prior. To even the untrained ear, though, it's unmistakable. A high revving (see statcard above) 4.3 Litre V8 ripped out of Linnea's 20 year old daily driver and a suspension modified to not be *quite* so overspec'd should mean it stands a much bigger chance than it did before. Of course, a new transmission came with the engine, and the fact that it's been tuned for what is effectively low quality (leaded) avgas means that it needed custom halfshafts and a new tailpipe to bypass the catalytic converter. It's also got a new rear seat stolen from the same place as the engine.
On a non mechanical look through, one might also notice the retrofitted rear seats rather than the previous two seat configuration.
Regardless, though, without the context that the newest part on this vehicle save for the coilovers is the brakes and even those have a few thousand kilometers on them, with the body itself having easily enough to roll over the odometer, it will certainly raise eyebrows at the tech inspection.
WoodenPlankGames
3 Likes
You might want to fix your formatting - Black text on dark gray boxes is very hard to read, and I’m not highlighting everything just to see it.
Oop - I think I mentioned an edit if I screwed something up, it seems I am once again prophetic in my writing. give me a few (I can’t fathom why it’s done that.)
1 Like
@Madrias Better now? I cannot fathom what’s changed but removing like 60% of my formatting seems to have ‘fixed’ it…
1 Like
Not as pretty, but very readable, which matters more in my opinion.
well then, might as well submit my. submission
The Argonites
The Team
Sienna Garrison
Race: Human
Age: 35
Height: 5’9"
Sienna is the team’s driver. Having been an instructor for six years, she knows her way around a car better than Alec and Kiara combined (in the driving aspect, at least. mechanically, not so much).
Alec Pierce
Race: Human
Age: 34
Height: 5’10"
Alec is the co-driver and one of the team’s two mechanics, the other being Kiara. He used to restore old cars for fun, and it turns out that skill transfers to new cars as well. He’s decent at cooking, too.
Kiara Baxter
Race: Human
Age: 37
Height: 6’0"
Kiara is the team’s other mechanic. She’s mostly self-taught, and has worked with Alec on a couple cars. She focuses more on the electronics and interior of the car, unlike Alec, who only really repairs the car’s performance.
The Car
2003 Paladin Mace 2.8L
Kiara picked this up from someone selling it on eBay for $900 (obviously not in the state shown above) and boy did it not disappoint. But also simultaneously did disappoint. There were several things wrong with the car; one of the wheels was missing, the boot was completely rusted and the back left door just wouldn’t open for some reason, to name a few. Nothing Alec and Kiara couldn’t fix, though.
They spent the remaining $1,100 replacing broken and rusted parts, getting some new tires and generally making the car more offroad-ready. What they had after all that is what you see here.
(might suck, lmk if there’s anything else i need to add)
5 Likes
Team Firulais
After they failed to even register for the very last stage last year, a rather curious team of “5” humans (some of them are humanoid descendants) makes their first entry to the Shitbox Rally…!..and hopefully, it shouldn’t be their last.
The Members of the Crew
Josué Mertsa (22 y/o, Earth Age, Human)
The first member of the crew, and, arguably, their leader. While not exactly a guy to mess with, due to a bit of a temper, Josué is still a rather chill guy. He had the idea of the car and after a short voting process to pick options, his choice was the one to go with. He also does some of the oily stuff in the crew as well.
Appearance (a drawing…):
Andrés Coop (23 y/o, Earth Age, Human)
While one of the least intelligent members in the crew, Andrés got in the team after showing “some” driving skill, which is gonna be useful, as the team didn’t want Ángel to drive them all way long. He’s a slightly more skilled mechanic than Josué however, and he’s also very, very friendly… Maybe a bit too friendly.
Appearance (a drawing…):
Ana Montoya (19 y/o, Earth Age, Human)
She gets easily into a temper, and has second to no driver skills. With that, you can already assume she’s a rather reckless and carefree girl. She’s also quite greedy, and also easy to get into a fight with. That being said, however, she’s good at driving fast on a straight line, so that may benefit the team. She’s also probably the most entertaining member to watch, due to her curious personality.
Appearance (yet another drawing… Don’t blame me, I feel like drawing the characters allows me some freedom…):
Tomás Tsu (18 y/o, Earth Age, Human [?])
This young boy is very creative. He got the name for the team and also can get the team to calm down, being in some way the morale booster of the team. He ain’t necessarily a bad driver, nor he’s a bad mechanic either, although he does know little about fixing things in an object as complicated as a car. He got in the team after the very last member here told him…
Appearance (another drawing, why not):
Ángel Yukobaiyaroslavl (25 y/o, Earth Age, Humanoid Descendant)
The oldest in the team is the smartest, and most capable, both at driving and at fixing. Sadly, he’s an absolute noob at cooking. Also, why does he look so sad ? Well… Let’s say he has some issues. Being someone with the power of Telepathy and also reading minds is good, until you realize that the latter isn’t necessarily controlled at your own will… This is just one of his many problems. Also, YES, that Surname WAS NOT a misprint. And also, yes, he can read minds, even if he doesn’t want to… He can also communicate telepathically, a power which he can actually control…
Appearance (the last drawing):
The Car: 1982 Aurora Aurinko 140
Josué proposed buying a car from a Finnish Brand, Aurora. Aurora had a good range of cars in the 70s, 80s and 90s, and it seemed like everyone agreed. For Josué, it was his car of choice. For Ana, it had sportiness, for Tomás, it had style, for Andrés, it had comfort, and for Ángel, it had reliability.
However, as soon as they began the bargain hunt, issues began almost immediately. The Smaller cars in the lineup weren’t that attractive, mainly due to unpracticality… So they started looking for a larger car. Sadly, the cars that were larger were going over their budget… They had to find a middle point. And they found it with the first generation Aurinko. Small, Cheap and Budget Friendly, but also Spacious enough to be comfortable and practical… Even with this perfect model, the search only complicated itself…
Until, one day, Josué found this 1982 example for $1,500. They immediately bought it, it was the only car that wouldn’t be a nightmare as of costs… But, sadly, the repairs would be a Nightmare… For Ángel, that is. The engine was barely functional, the Transmission was about as accurate as a Joy-Con with Drift, and the Interior was amongst the nastiest things they ever got to see.
Nevertheless, it was an all or nothing when buying this… And they did. It was this, or going back to the drawing board. With that, Ángel officially became the Team’s Workhorse, and got to work. In his words, he said: “I’ll rebuild the engine. After all, if we’ve got $500 to spare, why spend them in modifications and trash, when we can, you know, make the car work ? I want to spend time fixing the car here rather than fixing constant breakdowns down the road…”
Slowly, but surely, a vast majority of the Cash went on repairs… And guess what ? They worked ! The Transmission was now smooth and efficient, the Engine, while a tad noisy and running on way lower quality fuel than it was supposed to, did just fine. The only thing Ángel couldn’t fix was the interior, but I guess that shouldn’t be too much of an Issue later, right ?
With a rebuilt engine and transmission, some things did improve ! Mainly reliability concerns… But sadly, now the car had a pathetic fuel economy. Besides, it’s not a fast machine, so, yeah, don’t expect these guys to win… The last of the Cash (roughly $10, which they spent on paint and stickers) went on some decorations, like the Team’s Name, and Crew Member’s Name… Ángel was surprised his name could fit in that window.
As said before, don’t expect them to win…
But don’t expect them to come last ! And even if they do, the Quintet will be amongst one of the most interesting teams to watch at their debut.
4 Likes
Long Post, Ik…
Hey, just a reminder - Check to make sure your car meets the fixture rules before you submit it.
Seriously, this challenge does take a lot of effort to run, and we’re not doing resubmissions this year.
The Rhino Squad is back
Chanty is currently working in her father´s garage, as after their last adventure she decided to make something out of her life. When she takes a smoking break, her father Thomas Nilfert has something … special on the trailer.
Eh, what junk is that?
A Primus Legacy. Early model with the ancient engine and old automatic, ugly color, rusty, damaged. The cheapest large Primus I could get. It´s great for spares. You know that we make advert for service of classic Primus models? We need spares in stock.
The next day, Chanty used her smartphone to look for some distraction after a difficult job on a Primus Merit, and then found out something interessing.
Dad? Can we use this car for something before we rip it apart?
Why should I? Yes, it still runs and shifts and vaguely goes in the direction I steer, but… the value is almost zero, and decent ones are still cheap enough to not turn this junk into one.
How about another … rally event? This is even on another planet!
Thomas dropped his coffee and almost died from laughter.
PFHAHAHAHA WHAT? YOU MEAN SMALL GREEN ALIENS IN AN UFO KIDNAPP US? BWHAHAHAHA
No, dad. They teleport us and the car with a beam.
Yeah, sure. EH! MATEUSZ! TURN OFF THE DAMN ENGINE OF THAT IMPERATOR! MY DAUGHTER HAS HALLUCINATIONS FROM THE EXHAUST GASES!
A few days later, Chanty discusses with her boyfriend Jan.
And you think it works?
Sure! I talked to some teams we met in Sweden, and they say it does.
So, let´s do it then. But will your father hand us over the car?
I know where the keys are… come on, this will be fun. Be my Clyde, because I will be your Bonnie.
You sure?
Mostly… but me being the full responsible mechanic and not having the help of daddy will be… a challenge, I guess… but he thinks I am telling bullshit…
What if we persuade these weirdos from Eberswalde, if they go for it… then I guess, Thomas will believe us?
Well, then call @HermannMatern . Let´s see what they think.
THE RHINO SQUAD
Well, her last name “Nilfert” sounds like Nilpferd, which means hippo, but as Chanty is… not really smart, she mixed it up with rhino, which lead to the team name.
Chanty
Chantal, 20 year old, works in the garage of her grumpy father Thomas. From him she intherited being a petrolhead and therefore wants to join this challenge. She is both an extro- and introvert and can´t stop driving her father crazy by switching between her two personalities. Other than that, she is dumb as bread and acts before she thinks, but propably the most caring and lovely person you could imagine.
Jan
Jan, 22, is Chantys boyfriend. He isn´t that tough guy that Thomas wanted for his daughter. He is very gentle, mostly calm and works in a nursing home. To Thomas, Jan is a douchebag, but over time, they got used to each other and Thomas respects him as he treats his daughter well. Jan is maybe not a good driver, but he is needed to stop Thomas and Chanty from killing each other.
Thomas
The 60 year old Thomas is a man of the old stamp. Grumpy, chain-smoking, always open for a good whisky and dark beer. He owns a service garage and while he isn´t as good as MacGyver, its good enough to live from that. He owns some classic Primus, as he worked for this brand after the fall of the wall, before he was a mechanic for IFA in East Germany. The emotionally unavailable loner is often annoyed by his freaky daughter, but will always help her out in any situation. In fact, Thomas can be a very sensitive and warm person, but he tries not to show that.
The car
As described above, it´s a 1991 Primus Legacy 320. In questionable condition. But within a few days, it could be repaired to a point that it could manage to survive a rally event.
6 Likes
Timeloss
After a hell of a time at the 2023 clunkers run, and junking their old breadbox, Timeloss returns once again for the big event. Connections were made, friendships formed, and a realization that they’re gonna have to run a really trimmed down team for this event. They had a lot of people last time, so slimming is more important than - well - sending everyone.
So, Shall we meet our trio then?
Introduced Left to Right
Selena Winsborough (She/Her)
Selena isn’t actually from out of time, no she’s just a Vampire from a long time ago. She’s been through a bunch of different identities (maybe that’s why she looks familiar?) but kept this one up once she started working for ARRD. She started as a Work Colleague of Ruuka’s, before they became very close friends. (More than Friends, really.)
Selena is Timeloss’ Secondary Driver.
Mirage (She/Her)
Mirage was the first person Ruuka found in her travels, around 2 years ago. She has become the effective 2ic of Timeloss. Mirage is a Wizard from Golarion, who knows a lot about magic, but also nerdy enough she picked up how a lot of mechanical stuff works on Earth. She knows how to make a fix a lot, but doesn’t know how to drive.
Mirage is Primary Navigator as well as being head on Repairs. She won’t be driving because she can’t.
Ruuka Takoyama (She/Her)
Ruuka is the “Leader” of Timeloss, being the first of the group to arrive on Earth nearly 2 and a half years ago. She’s a mech and starfighter pilot from 500 years in the future, who has a personal AI who really wants to help, sometimes too much. Even with being friends with the other two, she’s technically their boss because of the company they work for.
Ruuka is Timeloss’ Primary Driver.
What about the car?
At one point, it was a 1998 Torrento Azreia SE. The group picked it up off a kid on the outskirts of Vegas, however the engine was running on 2 and a half of the 4 cylinders it had and a lot of other stuff was just very broken. Thankfully, Timeloss has more than three people on their team, so Victoria [Mentioned in 2023 Clunkers] and Taylor [Non-forum mentioned character] spent a few weeks tearing and chopping the car up until they ended up with, well, this nightmare machine.
The stock suspension was broken and too expensive to replace, so they didn’t. Grabbed some solid axles from something out of the Twin Suns junk pile, and stuck them on. Got a fat 7L Pushrod V8 from an old work truck and threw that in the front with the gearbox and drivelines from the same truck. Now she’s more a Baja monster than a road racer, but that’s all good.
The base Torrento Azreia was provided to me by @Leone via the Shitbox Rally discord. She let me destroy her child in good faith, so yeah.
5 Likes
It becomes serious
CHANTAL JOLINA NILFERT! Why did you mount my plates onto that shitbox? Thats highly illegal. And what do you want with such a barge, you said yourself these old Primus are seriously uncool and ugly.
That with the extraterrestrian rallye was not a lie! We could use this vehicle, and…
Your mother should not have taken you out of that mental hospital when you were 17. Really! Oh… no, please… don´t cry! Sorry, I was mean. But… .seriously… what the hell?
Here! Look yourself before you … say I am crazy. Sniff!
We all are. We are Nilferts. Have you ever seen a sane or underweight Nilfert? Me neither. The only normal one was actually the one locked up early enough in prison, who… well, that´s another topic. Oh, that encrypted e-Mail… what the? Do you really believe that? It´s propably an early April´s fool. Wait… you fixed some of the damage? WITH MY SPARE PARTS? WE ARE LOW ON THEM! THAT IS WHY I BOUGHT THAT DAMN RUSTBUCKET!
Dad, we are a mechanic family, do you really want us to appear with a car that´s barely moving and losing parts?
Eeeeh. No. Let me test drive it myself to see what´s still wrong. Oh, I LOVED the stereos of these. They were the best of the best back then. By the age of the previous owner, I think there is something in the cassette drive.
OOOOOOOOH YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAH!
DAD! THIS IS AWFUL! TURN THIS OFF! OR AT LEAST REWIND TO ANOTHER ONE.
CHERI CHERI LADY, LOOKI…
OH MY GOD!
No Chantal, THAT was music, not the Tarzan yells you listen to…
Dad! The screen went off!
Known error with very old Primus OICs. Just slap on it like… THAT! BANG! You see? It´s fixed. Legacys aren´t that hard to keep running if you know them well. Sounds like someone has already removed the converter. I might put some lead in the tank, huh!
So… that lowers the center of gravity and makes us faster?
CHANTAAAAAAL! No! At least you know lead is heavy, thats more than you knew before learning the profession of a mechanic… No, lead prevents knocking but was forbidden later for environmental concerns, and it destroys converters. By the way: These models might have an ancient engine, but the injection system and ECU was top-notch for 1991. The Primus Comtronit (Computer Control Unit) of these days could adapt to a lot if you got the diagnosis computer and the cables, which I of course have. Primus did include such a feature because than engine was also mounted in their offroad car, the Aventura, which ran in countries where fuel qualities were fluctuating. So, here we are, back at the garage.
Uh-oh, the body roll is a bit much.
It just feels like that because you are used to that back-breaking aftermarket crap I refuse to call suspension that you threw in your car. But yes, it could need an alignment and a transmission fluid change. A few shifts were a bit rough. And these transmissions, the A4E, were notorious for trouble, even if the Legacys is less of a nightmare than the early ones in the Imperator II. But hey, it still shifts and the suspension is fine. See that!
DAAAAAAD! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Uuuuh-oooh, I should have checked the brakes more in depth before, HOLD ON!
THAT WAS SOOOOO CLOSE! I HATE YOU!
6 Likes
Some familiar faces return, and new ones join. From far flung worlds, or the underside of the law, this group has stood strong in the face of adversity and are no strangers to adventure. The Shitbox Rally is no different, through reality and an unfamiliar world in a beat to shit automobile with like minded people helping each other along.
Unfortunately, someone, specifically someone who was given the task to decide upon the name selected, well… The “Crazy” Eight. Makes sense when you think about it, eight people, V8 engine. Not to mention it’s also a reference to the CSX 8888 “Crazy Eights” runaway incident in 2001. Eight not being a plural noun is a reference to the title of the movie “The Hateful Eight”. Naturally, one of the team thinks it implies that they are all deranged, another thinks he could come up with something better, three aren’t really fazed, one is completely clueless and last but not least the one who came up with the name has been hit by flying slippers at least three times now.
Let's meet them, shall we?
WATCHTOWER
Real Name: Landon T. Sabourne
Race: Vulpine (Bipedal Red Fox)
Nationality: Velkari
Gender: Male
Age: 51 (Birthday - May 17th 1972)
Height: 200cm or 6’ 7”
Weight: 97.5kg or 215 lbs
A returning participant from last year, Landon has recently taken a backseat to his military career, and has taken up mercenary work. That said, he still wears the rank of Supreme General back home, but is currently listed as “temporarily absent”. Admittedly, he’s enjoying the lesser responsibility, and this time he plans to have more fun than worrying. Though, he still knows that there’s probably a bunch of things that have yet to go wrong. More recently, he’s acquired a sword, a weapon he wields with unexplained skill, but is very likely to reserve it for more unique missions.
Appearance using Hero Forge:
BLACK KNIGHT
Full Name: Karl von Heislingberg
Race and Nationality: Caracalian (Bipedal Caracal)
Gender: Male
Age: 25 (28 Earth, adopted birthday of June 28th 1996)
Height: 196cm or 6’ 5” (excluding ear tufts)
Weight: 108kg or 240 lbs
Also returning from last year is Karl von Heislingberg. However, things in his life have changed. For one he’s now in a committed relationship, and second, he’s now in command of a freighter/passenger ship named the Swan, belonging to his family’s interstellar shipping and tourism company. Also new is his new dabbling in mercenary work for the newly established Uni-Ops division at DFN, a private security/military subsidiary of the Dutch shipping conglomerate Van Der Haas International. On the other hand, Karl is still after the sacred cup after last year’s failure and a new lead potentially places it in Holsia.
Appearance using Text: Large framed bipedal caracal, with copper colored eyes, and a rusty brown coat of fur. An elegant athletic build with no disproportionate development, done through a more natural process. Despite being six foot five, Karl is inherently stockier due to Caracalian biology. 240 pounds is on the lighter side for others his age. (I yet again do not have a good reference for Karl, although, I’m pretty sure you can imagine at least roughly what a bipedal caracal may look like for now. 
)
MOUNTAIN MAN
Real Name: Neil Bergmann
Race: Human
Nationality: American
Gender: Male
Age: 41 (Birthday - July 12th 1982)
Height: 192.412cm or 6’ 4”
Weight: 99.3kg or 219 lbs
One of the four humans on this team, Neil Bergmann is not only a man of mountains, but a man of mystery. All that’s known about him to the ordinary person is that he worked for DFN as an elite supervisor for their midwest operations and now heads Uni-Ops. On the flipside, Neil has a past that he would rather remain secret and within specific social circles, although it’s the reason why he’s now working a more legitimate job. His reason for taking part in the rally is because he’s been mostly a loner for the last 20 years and he considers this kind of social interaction good for the psyche and keeping him sane.
Appearance using Face-app:
THE COP
Real Name: Miles Hudson
Race: Human
Nationality: American
Gender: Male
Age: 45 (Birthday - December 10th 1979)
Height: 193cm or 6’ 4”
Weight: 102kg or 225 lbs
The second human is Miles Hudson, and yes, he looks like Neil. Why? Because they’re related. By blood. That being said, they only share a father, and not a mother, which is why Miles’ last name is Hudson and not Bergmann. Ironically, both him and Neil share the same lethal skills, both with marksmanship and hand to hand combat, although Miles’ put his skillset to a nobler cause by choosing to become a police officer. However, as of recently, Miles is no longer in law enforcement, and now works for Uni-Ops as a liaison between them and federal agencies. On the other hand, Miles hasn’t spoken to Neil in over 20 years, and thus he feels like they need to make up for lost time.
Appearance using Face-app:
SMOKESCREEN
Real Name: Kate Huxley
Race: Human
Nationality: American
Gender: Female
Age: 37 (Birthday - September 5th 1986)
Height: 188 cm or 6’ 2”
Weight:76 kg or 168 lbs
The third human on this trip, Kate is not exactly someone who shares much about herself. Only thing that’s been shared so far is that she worked and still works for DFN, has the same level of proficiency when it comes to firearms and hand to hand combat as Neil and Miles. She appears to have some kind of relationship with Neil, although it’s very difficult to tell exactly the nature of their involvement as neither displays any visual queues. Having lived a reclusive life, she feels that it’s time to try something new, and thus when presented with the opportunity to partake in SR24, she seized it.
Appearance using the Sims 4: (Coming soon, I’ll provide a link in a future post when I update this)
GOLDEN EAGLE
Real Name: Hans Adler
Race: Human
Nationality: German
Gender: Male
Age: 35 (Birthday - June 7th, 1917)
Height: 173 cm or 5’ 8”
Weight:74 kg or 165 lbs
The fourth and final human on this list is Hans Adler. Firstly, the elephant in the room. Hans is 35 despite being born in 1917. Why? Because he’s from 1952. An alternate 1952 in which Axis Powers won WW2. Long story short, Hans was coerced into working for the Luftwaffe, designed and engineered a prototype aircraft dubbed a “Super Stuka”. Upon completion, he took what little belongings he had left, the original designs of his aircraft and most of his other designs, and began plotting his escape to North America. However, in an unexpected turn of events after flying into a thunderstorm over the English Channel, he wound up in our time line and in the present day no less. Presumed dead in his timeline, Hans now lives in Pahrump, Nevada, and maintains a hangar at the Twin Suns Aerodrome, which functions as a secondary HQ for DFN’s Uni-Ops. Because he’s the one who sourced the vehicle for this year’s rally, he feels obligated to come along. Who knows, he just might have fun.
Appearance using Hero Forge:
AKULA
Real Name: Alexandrei “Alexei” Koraelin
Race: Hyceian
Gender: Male
Age: 38 (Birthday - July 19th 1986/July 19th 2486)
Height: 191 cm or 6’ 3”
Weight: 89 kg or 197 lbs
The second military officer on the roster, Alex, as his name is often shortened to, hails from a water planet named Hydralis, a planet mostly populated by aquatic humanoid creatures known, after translation, as Hyceians. A father of three, ages 15 and 13 respectively, and married, Alex maintains a close knit family. However, that’s with the exception of his father who, as a result of past mistakes, drove a wedge between them. These mistakes in the past are why Lex is at a similar skill level to the three Americans and why he runs a special forces group based on the starship Stargazer. Unfortunately, the things that he endured left him with a form of PTSD. Despite the issues, he’s managing himself very well and has begun repairing some of the damage done. While on Earth, he took up mercenary work under Uni-Ops, also managing to secure posts for both his significant other, Via, and his father (coincidentally shares a name with Miles Hudson) within the group. For SR24, only the former is joining him, as there’s only so many people that can fit in a Diamant GPV8 and besides, it’s time to find a new way to have fun.
Appearance using Hero Forge (Background removed using Face-App):
SIREN
Name: Via Koraelin (née Namarri)
Race: Hyceian
Gender: Female
Age: 36 (Birthday - June 28th 1988/June 28th 2488)
Height: 185 cm or 6’ 1”
Weight: 79.3 kg or 175 lbs
A former helicopter/gyroplane pilot, Via finds herself more content with civilian life and looking after the three sons she has with Alex. However, sometimes, such a lifestyle can become a little… boring. That’s why Uni-Ops was a refreshing change of pace, because it didn’t relegate her to using her skills as a pilot, and provided an incentive to apply more of her military training in on the ground type scenarios. As an added bonus, her and Alex get to spend more time together working. Of course, this event is gonna be treated as a sort of vacation for the two of them. Only problem that she sees might be the fact Alex is inexperienced with a manual transmission.
Appearance using Hero Forge:
And the car?
Purchased as part of a two for one deal from a specialized dealership near Pahrump, the group plans to use this ex-army Diamant GPV for the journey. An uncommon example of the standard GPV, featuring a longer rear overhang, and a V8 engine, this example boasts an extra bench seat in the back allowing for eight people on board and a horsepower rating close to 300. However, not all that glitters is gold.
Firstly, the car is plagued with a multitude of electrical issues. Some are minor, like the aftermarket radio not working, or a couple of the extra lights not being wired correctly, if at all, and some are pretty significant, like the dying alternator, or the temperamental ECU. Second, the interior is in horrific condition, especially the top of the dashboard, from sitting in the Nevada sun for the last 17 years, not to mention the loosely hanging dome light up front and other broken interior bits. Finally, there’s also the fact this car hasn’t exactly been driven much in the last two months and even though it runs good despite the 245,000 miles it has on the odometer, it’s still a bit sketchy to drive. Oh, and did I mention the catalytic converter delete?
What else would you expect for two grand?
6 Likes