The 2020 Trafikjournalen 24h clunker run (Final results at last.)

Tzuyu_main · 11 June 2020 19:46

Hey, is a livery required on our cars, like the Alteron above (and many other cars)?

Knugcab · 11 June 2020 20:23

No

HighOctaneLove · 11 June 2020 22:56

My team added the stickers because they think they’re hardcore racers NOT because there’s a requirement in the rules!

IMO (still not the rules, lol) that in order to maximise the immersiveness rating of an entrant, their allocated number, at the minimum, should be displayed on the car, lmao!

But, unless the competition game-master has it as a condition of entry, decals and numbers are optional,

stm316 · 11 June 2020 23:19

But… but… you don’t get a number until you’ve sent your car in…

Xepy · 11 June 2020 23:24

Team Blue Team

Quick rundown of the drivers.

Thomas Peterson
Age: 24
Mechanic, easily tunnel visioned. He did the majority of the work to get the car working and is the reason they are participating.

Katrina Peterson
Age: 22
Art student, easily distracted. She’s here for fun and because of Thomas, also because she’s okay at driving for long periods of time.

Nicole
Age: 22?
Strong silent type, possibly mute. Is Katrina’s roommate that tags along for things.

Quick overview of the car:

1988 Kuma GP-E

Base spec of an 80s sports car, this little beater has been serviced thoroughly on the inside to balance both high performance and reliability. The naturally aspirated inline-six is tuned to over 200 horses, at the expense of the fuel economy, with the stickers giving at least 5 hp each. Rust proofing and paintwork was… not done. Pop up headlamps don’t work, but some rally lights were added in their place. Racing graphics were… slightly done. Mostly on one side of the car.

So it looks like crap on the outside, but its beautiful on the inside. Maybe.

I could write more but uhhh… time restraints and stuff.

HighOctaneLove · 11 June 2020 23:41

OMG you’re right!!! It’s a Catch-22 paradox!!! The world’s about to end; I can’t submit without a number and I cannot get a number until I submit!!!

Just kidding!!!

I dealt with this by submitting a generic car, then when I was accepted I made a second trim which had all the “flair” imposed upon it. This was then the car I took pics of for my team entry statement…

tl;dr: “Hahaha… Sarcasm”. But for those who don’t know what to do, that is how I solved the dilemma, lol

donutsnail · 12 June 2020 03:26

Team: Platshållare University Car Club

Drivers:

Tomas Andersson. Student and car enthusiast, sutdent president elect of the clulb. Responsible behind the wheel but inexperienced due to a lack of previous racing opportunities.
Lucas Thorner. Student and car enthusiast. Best friend of Tomas, more eager and aggressive behind the wheel, but more experienced, having competed in a couple folkraces.
Tina O’Shea. Student and car enthusiast. Irish descent but born in Sweden. Friend of Lucas, more acquaintance to Tomas, but the most experienced driver and mechanic of the three students, having competed in numerous folkraces and plenty of exposure to her father’s shop.
Gunnar Holm. Professor at the University and organizational head of the club. Early 60s in age. A somewhat experienced novice wheel-to-wheel racer and generally knowledgeable under the hood as well.
Michael O’Shea. Close friend of Professor Holm, roughly the same age, running the shop that the club uses, and father of Tina. Originally from County Tipperary, Ireland, he is a former competitor in the Irish Tarmac Championship, but now lives in Sweden, running a race shop that preps vintage rally cars and folkracing cars. A master mechanic and still a weapon behind the wheel, but both he and the professor plan to mostly support the students driving, and only take the wheel if any of the students grow fatigued, or if a hot shoe behind the wheel might actually net a good result.

Getting the car:

via text
Tomas: I talked to professor Holm; I got a car and we are a go for the Trafikjournalen 24h run!
Lucas: You got a car? We’re really doing this? What’s the car??
Tomas: Go to the garage and see it for yourself! I’ve left it with Mr. O’Shea
Lucas: Come on, at least give me a hint!
Tomas: it’s a 16 valve Legion 4 cylinder from the late 90s. That’s all I’ll say for now.

20 minutes later

Lucas: You’re an asshole Tomas.

Tomas doesn’t respond to the text as he’s nearing the garage himself, chuckling at Lucas looking over the car.

“What the hell Tomas. You knew when you said it was a 16v Legion I was expecting a hot hatch Sparrow or Citi. Not this grocery getter.”

“I didn’t lie! It is a 16 valve Legion!” Tomas smirks uncontrollably, knowing damn well that what he was doing when he laid down that hint.

“Uh, yeah, sure, 16 valves but it’s an all-iron, single cam, non-vvt, non-vvl dump of a motor. And do I even need to mention its a crossover with an automatic… it’s got rear drums for fucks sake. what were you thinking??”

Tomas smiles and shrugs. “It was free so. yeah. Do you wanna drive in the race or buy another car for us to race?”

Lucas doesn’t respond, but continues to look over the car.

“So, I inherited it it my great aunt’s will. Took a bit of time to get the paperwork and everything settled but I’ve got no place for a second car right now. This seemed like a good use for it.”

Lucas scans Tomas, trying to determine if shitting on the car was insulting or not.

Tomas continues. “It’s a 1998 Legion CrAVe Espresso. My great aunt was, and I say this with love, but both a cheapskate and a luddite, so an absolutely base FWD crossover with manual locks, manual windows, the like. You name it, this thing doesn’t have it.”

“Espresso?”

“Yeah, Legion figured it would be better not to call it shit-spec poverty base trim so they splashed cheesy 90s graphics on the side and called it an ‘Espresso’. Anyways I’ve been talking with Mr. O’Shea about it and he thinks we can make some cheap modifications to make it more trackworthy. A lot of the bits are interchangeable with some other Legions so we can source some of these parts pretty easy.”

The Car:

1998 Legion CrAVe

Mod list:
Cat-back exhaust
Cold air intake
ECU reflash (advanced timing tune for high octane)
Deep dish aftermarket alloy wheels
Upgraded brake pads
StanceNation cheapo coilovers
Aftermarket swaybars
Spare wheel removal

Knugcab · 12 June 2020 04:17

Well, my philosophy here is “if a problem doesn’t exist, don’t create it”. This is not a CSR so aestethics won’t be judged anyway, but for realisms sake I appreciate more effort than just a flat box with two headlights, that’s a bit too meme-ish. But even if I encourage RP, it’s up to you how much effort you will put into that. When you find an used car you won’t find it with racing livery, and of you will include the looks of the race version in your RP or leave it to the imagination of the others is up to you.

If I would judge the aestethics it wouldn’t be fair anyway because only one entry looks like a Nissan pickup.

HighOctaneLove · 12 June 2020 06:48

If someone were to submit a D21 Navara ute replica, would they immediately win the competition?

Knugcab · 12 June 2020 07:01

Well… This one is kind of a mishmash with its single headlights. But I like the D21… though I LOVE My 720… But as I said, this is not a CSR so my taste has nothing to say, if I would run one it would probably end Up in “make me a Nissan 720” anyway

ST1Letho · 12 June 2020 09:52

Team : Boost Foxes Customs [ #48 ]

Drivers/Team :

Jan Kovar (The Czech Flag)
Age : 32
Professional mechanic and tuner, the head of boost foxes, and founder of the garage, as well as the mechanic of the team.
He visits track in his free time, but his driving skill is noticeably lower than Ethan’s and Akari’s.
Was the one in lead of the car’s modifications and making custom pieces.

Ethan Whitewood (The UK Flag)
Age : 27
A racer and car enthusiast, the main driver for BF at race events.
Owns a large collection of rare Kurokamas, so he was of great assistance in building this one, also , he was the one who provided the swap engine for this car.

Hikama Akari (The Japanese Flag) [ First : Akari, Sur : Hikama (緋鎌) ]
Age : 19
The pretty face of the garage, a fan of cosplay, and a hell of a talented drifter and driver. When not getting publicity for the garage, she seeks out cars or slides around the track. She was the one who found the car, and had it taken in.
She knows some things about tuning, but those are all for suspension.
( Is slowly learning how to tune cars as whole.)

The Car :

1985 Kurokama SC AeroR (Post-facelift)

The car they chose to drive in this event is one of the rare-ish post-facelift RHD SC AeroR coupes they originally received for tow-away. When the foxes got hold of it, it was in very bad shape, and the lack of parts for it made restoration impossible, especially with the original 1.9 Turbo engine. So instead, they decided to run it into a track toy, list of upgrades being following.

Coilover suspension with custom-length springs
SNB KE TSEI RR4-24 engine.
– NKAR R50 9K Turbo kit.
– Custom hood-exit exhaust.
– ITB conversion.
– NKA Performance intake
– Sharper camshafts
Geared LS differential
Underbody cladding
Custom rear bumper with diffuser
Custom rear spoiler
NKAR Puncture-proof lightweight fuel tank
NKAR Rallye lights Kit
Custom plexiglass windows and windshield.
Customised headlights
Customised interior, with sport front seats. (The original one was beyond saving)

Knugcab · 12 June 2020 10:25

One last rule change in the 11th hour… I hope there is no objection, since it is just a slight adjustment to make it more fair. With 0-100 rolls, for example 62.5 and 63.4 Will both be classed as 63 which is not completely fair. So, instead rolls will be 0-1000 and divided by 10, modifier 0-150 divided by 10. I guess we all can agree that it only makes things more fair?

Knugcab · 12 June 2020 15:16

Good news! I’m currently writing this from my new computer, so as soon as I get Automation installed and running, I’m ready to start. Also, I won’t accept any new entries from now since we are 15 minutes past deadline. So if you don’t have a car file sent in and a complete presentation by now, you won’t be included in the starting grid

TheLapTopX20 · 12 June 2020 19:09

exitement sounds

Knugcab · 12 June 2020 19:29

Now, the starting grid is complete, and if your name is missing there, I am pretty sure that you have forgotten something, if you still aren’t there and you are 100% sure that I have gotten everything, you have a chance to PM me now, but I won’t take any new entries or forgotten stuff…

13th OF JUNE 2020

The heavy and powerful 1986 IP Brigadier Uti-Lite Pro had absolutely no trouble pulling the trailer with the light Revolve Manaoz strapped to it. The large six cylinder was roaming through the morning fog (and, honestly speaking, it was gulping fuel too) while the huge mud/terrain tyres were howling like a h*rny dog against the tarmac.

FILIP: “It’s getting cramped in here! Who came up with the idea of those damn bench seats? And the upholstery mostly reminds me of a tarp!”
MATS: “The Mamayan army was the largest customer of the Uti-Lite Pro version, I bet they could fit at least five or six soldiers in here, of course, of average mamayan size then, hahaha, and the material can easily be hosed!”
FILIP: “Can I at least turn on the stereo?”
MATS: “GOOD LORD, NO! It’s such a blessing when I don’t have to listen to the wife’s crappy norwegian country music so I want silence!”
FILIP: "SILENCE? So silence sounds like this? WROOOOAAAAAAAAAR DURRRRRRRRRRR because that’s how it sounds in here!"
MATS: “Silence does not sound like you anyway, and if you don’t start sounding like silence very soon, I will kick you out and then you will have to pull the trailer by hand!”
ERIK: “Or, as you youngsters would say this, #IPsixcylinderstraightpipeFTW!”

When they arrived, they saw a ghost grey 1990 Erin Lomaron already parked outside the track, with some old man in the drivers seat, reading the newspaper. Of course it was Arvid, with his trusty “evil duchess of Windsor” that he had bought brand new and driven over 700 000 kilometers with at this moment. It was something of a monument for him, he had proven the point that an Erin could actually run forever despite the evil rumours. Now, that the Lomaron actually was a Saminda, made in Thailand, was something that he didn’t speak very loudly of though.

ARVID: “Oh, hello, I was waiting for you actually. You know, I was the one that came up with the idea of this 24 hour clunker run in 1984, so it’s really something special for me, this year they asked me if I couldn’t do a writeup about the race, and of course I will. Get into the car so we can talk for a while.”

The three drivers left the torture chamber of a cab in the IP for the somewhat cosier grey velour in the Erin for a while, even if it did smell strange after all those miles.

ARVID: “Have some coffee, the thermos in the center console is full and there is paper cups on the parcel shelf.”

The team was silently enjoying their morning coffee for a while before Arvid started talking again after quickly emptying his cup.

ARVID: “Now, I really had thought that it would be fun to drive this, like I did for every year in the 80s, but I think that it is more important that we get some fresh blood into this. Nothing can last forever, and after my retirement, I try to think of Trafikjournalen as a piece of my past that never really disappeared, You know, I more or less WAS “mr. Trafikjournalen” for many years, especially when I was the chief editor for the whole magazine. And we sold magazines back then, many more than we do now, but I don’t think that everything was because of me. You know, today with the internet and everything, all magazines are losing readers, and to stay in bussiness everybody has the choice to move on or die. And that’s where you young people have an important role to play here. I saw that you are doing a good job with the web archive, that’s impressive, people seems to like it and it preserves the history of Trafikjournalen while moving into the future, that’s how we must work to survive.”

ERIK: “Please, do you have to get this deep so early in the morning?”
MATS: “It’s actually mostly Filip that is doing the job, he is picking articles he think that people will like to read again and put them up, and he does a damn good work with it indeed.”

Filip was blushing there in the middle of the back seat in the Erin, but deep inside he knew that it was true. And he should be proud. Maybe he was the one that was going to be the new Mr. Trafikjournalen somewhere in the future. Who would ever know, to be honest?

ARVID: “That’s good, Filip, that’s good. Keep on working, I promise, it will pay off in the future. Now, I would have liked to at least be with you in the pits for a while, but that would not be a very good report from the race, so I can only wish you good luck, and hope that I found a great car for you to run.”

A while later in the pits, car unloaded, preparations for race going on.

ERIK: “I have been sneaking around, looking everywhere in the pits now.”
MATS: “What did you see? Cars?”
ERIK: “Nah, mostly zeppelins. But to be honest, it was a bit more like the old days now than two years ago when people brought more or less full blown sports cars into this, I don’t know how they could let the 24h challenge decline that far.”
MATS: “Yeah, I think that the new rules that required proof that you actually had bought the car for a small amount of money and not fiddled too much with it paid off.”
FILIP: “But the full interior rule was really silly, I mean, just why?”
ERIK: “Everyone agrees with you, it was just a misunderstanding that went too far to do something about before it was too late.”
FILIP: “So, what did you see then?”
ERIK: “Well, still a mixed bag actually. I saw a Kurokama that looked really angry and if he can get it to hold up, most people here will be chanceless, though they aren’t really easy in the hands of an unexperienced driver, so it largely depends on them. A Mikadzuki I would watch out for, but same thing there, without a good driver they are worthless. Then a couple of 80s and 90s asian cars that can be mean because of their reliability and ability to run on the fumes, and they can still be fast even with an unskilled driver. The Legion SUV does look like it is an easy target for example, but they are faster than you might think. Then it’s a BAM that looks a bit nasty, and a Ssanvan that may be something to watch out for, I’m not sure that it is faster than a tuned up Manaoz, but it almost drives itself if you compare the two, it’s basically the grandfather of the modern hot hatch…”
MATS: “Do you have some happy news then?”
ERIK: “Yes, first of all I saw a Seikatsu truck, honestly speaking, we had one at my first summertime job when I was 15 and it really couldn’t outrun its own shadow. There was some chick swearing under the hood of a JESA that was puffing out black clouds and fire from the tailpipes when they were trying to start it, so let’s see if it even will reach the starting line. A Bardot is possibly more quirky than fast even with a turbo, and a Tycoon Offroader looking like if it escaped from the junkyard is almost born as a loser. A Cheval Buccaneer is something I would not fear either, bland slow automatic grannymobile, and how about a Bogliq? It will probably catch fire before the race is over!”

(Sound of laughter from all three in the team)

ERIK: “But I know something that will upset Arvid!”
FILIP: “What?”
ERIK: “You heard some weeks ago how he has been looking for years to find a Harris Riviera with no success?”
FILIP: “Yeah?”
ERIK: “Some lunatics here have brought a really nice example to this race, they must be nuts, I am almost crying myself.”

(a silent pause)

ERIK: “By the way, who will be driving first?”
MATS, FILIP: “YOU! You are the skilled racing driver in this team, if this shitbox breaks down, we might have some good laps before that at least!”

(OOC: I leave some space for some pre-race RP until tomorrow evening or so - be creative!
Note that everything said is in this post is seen through the eyes of the characters and not through mine.)

TheLapTopX20 · 12 June 2020 21:07

Race day, Alba racing garage.
Tom and terry were checking everything on the car was running fine,
Alex was taking a nap to prepare for the race, He was going first.
Jose was walking around, Looking at the other cars.
5 minutes later he went back to the garage, With his 100% professional analysis of the other racers.

Jose: i’m back!
Tom: What did you see out there? Anything menacing?
Jose: There’s a Seikatsu from the 80s, Those things are rumored to be indestructible.
Tom: uh huh?
Jose: There’s a classic yoru around there.
Terry: A Yoru? Those things were really fast back then, And considering the race it probably still is.
Jose: There’s also an F7 300i.
Terry: So a bunch of the teams are bringing reliable cars over sports, huh
Tom: seems like it.
Jose: There’s a facelift Kurokama SC. And it looks crazy. I took some sneaky pictures there, Take a look.
Terry and tom look at the picture
silence
Terry: why the hell does it look like that
Tom: If they crash, They’re losing those rally lights instantly.
Terry: Anything else?
Jose: Not really, Most other stuff is either some 90s econoboxes, a few pickups and like 2 cars from the late 2000s.
Terry: Got it.
Tom: Hey terry, We got an issue
Terry: What is it?
Tom: The indicators are not lighting up, No sides, none on the back or on the front.
Terry: Shit, Now that i remember, The electronics of these things weren’t great, The indicators always failed at a couple hundred thousand miles. I don’t think it will be an issue though.
Tom. Got it.

insert more checking the car and jose eating a ham sandwich

GassTiresandOil · 12 June 2020 22:09

Sorry, I was at work and missed the deadline

Elizipeazie · 12 June 2020 23:18

RK Series Racing

Part 0.5 : Ready for processing at OOPS...

about a week later; Redwood Residency; early afternoon

Preperations have been ongoing to… well prepare the car for being sent overseas.
Redwood got to work modifying the Dione to allow for it to be driven on Swedish roads.
Soon after, Schrant went to work getting Connor and the car overseas by sub-contracting a delivery company to get the car to the next port. Connor will be air-freighted via OOPS as agreed upon.

Redwood had finished work a few days ago and basically just was waiting at his house for progress to… progress. Then, a flatbed lorry pulled up in front of his house with a crate on top.

Not loong after, someone rang the door bell:
Badinnng!

Redwood: “Err… Hello?”
Guy: “Greetings. Are you Mr. Tim Redwood?”
Redwood: [getting enthusiastic] “Yepp!”
Guy: “Good. I have been sent by a… [looks at clipboard] Valentin Schrant to collect an Anhultz Dione C and… [reading from clipboard] A… humanoid AI robot thing?”
Redwood: “Oh right. [turns into house] CONNOR!!! YOUR CRATE’S HERE! [turns back to guy] Just a second…”

The delivery guy has one hell of a confused look on his face. Soon after, this is amplified by Connor appearing behind Redwood in the hallway.

Guy: “Wait… i am delivering [furiously pointing at Connor] HIM all the way to coastline??”
Connor: “That is correct. I need to make some preperations in order to protect clothing items from delibery-based damage.”

Connor disappears into the adjacent room.

Guy: [angry] “You are aware that i am not supposed to transport humans in wooden crates, right?”
Redwood: “Totally. And you are obeying that rule to the fullest degree.”
Guy: [angrier; furiously flailing clipboard around] “THE PHCK??? I CANNOT PUT SOME RANDO IN A CRATE FOR A WEEK!!!”
Redwood: “Listen… That guy is not biological in any way, shape or form, and i can prove that in at least three ways. Plus. Look at what we quoted the cargo as…”
Guy: “This is human trafficking!! I’ll contact authorities!”

Connor appears from aforementioned room, but only waring a slightly-too-large pair of jeans as the rest of his attire is being held up in a neatly folded packacke wrapped in a cotton bag.
Don’t wanna get his only set of clothing damaged in transit, right?

Connor: “Is there a problem, Mister?”
Guy: [still angry as can be] “You are not going into the crate right there!!”
Redwood: [annoyed] “He won’t belive that you are what we quoted you as…”
Connor: “What am i being quoted as?”
Redwood: “Humanoid AI. He probably wants proof.”
Connor: “How extensive do you want it to be?”
Guy: “JUST FUCKING PROVE IT! I DARE YOU! And that glowy circle thing does not count…”
Connor: “Alright alright… No need to rush it.”

Connor hands the bundle of clothing up to the guy.

Connor: “Can you hold this for a second?”

The Guy fumbles a bit with his clipboard, takes the bundle, just to near-instantly drop it to the ground.

Connor: “…Granted, the instructions were a bit vague…”

Connor fiddles around with his right hand on his left elboy, soon turning the entire forearm white and detaching it from the rest of him.

Guy: “Fuck you and your prosthetic limbs! You aren’t gonna get me yet!”

Connor then proceeds to turn himself entirely white, also receeding any hair including eyebrows and eyelashes.

Guy: [shocked] “WHAT?!?!??”
Redwood: [also surprised] “Did not expect THIS, but… told 'ya, i guess.”
Guy: [still highly irritated] “You win. But can you PLEASE revert that, this is driving me nuts. I’ll go crack open the crate, i guess…”

Connor immediately turns Connor again and proceeds to pick up the recently-dropped bundle. Then he walks over to the intensively-padded crate and steps in.
Not long after, the crate is nailed shut and the Dione loaded up as well.

[PIC 3]

Redwood feels content, knowing that the race is going down soon and is heading to the airport tomorrow.
With Connor and the car in transit, things were going well, until…

two days later; OOPS airfreight distribution Centre

Two OOPS employees are sitting around, constantly checking bags, crates, boxes and other stuff until they notice Connor basically hugging his clithing bundle in fetal position while in the crate.

Jim: “WAIT! Divert that crate there! There’s a frigging guy in there!”
Joe: “The fuck??”

A button-press later, the crate ends up in a corner labeled, thorough search.

Joe: “Let us have a look then.”

They open the crate “professionally”, with a goddamn crowbar of all things, to find lots of packing peanuts under which Connor is buried. Fairly intense “breathing” can be seen in there.

Jim: “There’s a literal guy in there lol”
Joe: “U think he ded?”
Jim: “Don’t think so… looks like he’s definitly breathing. Let’s get 'em outta here!”

The two spray peanuts all over the place and then try to hoist the surpisingly heavy machine out of the crate. This is not exactly successful as Joe drops the foot-end of him to the ground, after that “circle thing” on his temple goes yellow.

Plonk

Joe: [panicking] “FuccFuccFuccFuccFucc”
Jim: “You incometent baboon! You cannot just drop… wait, what is he even being sent as? [looks at crate labeling] Wut? Humanoid AI?? [pulling out details sheet] At 12500 DOLLARS INSURED VALUE??? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU??”
Joe: “U think he noticed?”
Jim: “Yeah… he does kinda breathe… less deep than IN the crate, but still breathing, buut… either he’s hella stoned on sedatives or just unconscious for about three days or so…”
Joe: “Oh wait, there was a thing!”

Hoe frantically searches for his phone, dropping the other end of Connor in the process.

Jim: “U aren’t exactly a competent baboon either.”
Joe: “Shut up…”

He pulls up a test message from the delivery guy who started Connor’s trip.

If you get a 12500 Dollar “Humanoid AI” in a crate then it’s legit. Tapped into my body cam capturing footage of him… it proving.

Joe: “Dayum. He legit not human lulz.”
Jim: “Why he breathin’ tho?”
Joe: “Don’t ask me! I don’t know… realism? Cooling? I don’t fucking know…”
Jim: “What’s… it meant for? [winking] Pleasure?”
Joe: “At 12500 Dollars it cannot be a… pleasure-bot.”
Jim: [grinning] “A very sophisticated pleasure bot?”
Joe: “Wow… child. Maybe something for med students? Hence why he’s breathing, maybe?”
Jim: [still grinning] “So that nurses can have fun on their off-time?”
Joe: “Infant. 'Nuff said.”
Jim: “Nah really it could be true. Tho he’s not being listed as medical equiment…”
Joe: “Privately funded or some shit… Either way, let’s get him back IN the crate so that nobody fires us…”

They manage to fiddle Connor into the crate in more or less the same position, but only with about half the packing peanuts.
The crate is then sealed and sent for air travel.

Jim: “I’m blaming damages on you dropping him first.”

to be continued

note:
i tried to keep this a teen-friendly as possible

if the mods deem it to not follow some or all of the forum rules, notify me and i’ll edit the affected part as quickly as possible

also:
the next part will still be pre-race as i could not muster to finish writing delivery of car and driver yet

Tzuyu_main · 13 June 2020 00:43

EP1 - TEAM RALLIHEART

Somewhere in Sweden

A rotund, shimmering sun soared over the Swedish skies, splattering the Nordic landscape in vibrant hues. Its serene beauty was unparalleled; the vast azure sky hung over a lush forest that lined both sides of the road, and in the background, a dormant volcano lightly covered in a blanket of snow began to grow over the thick green forest canopy, watching over the forest in its cold gaze of stone, lying in wait. To complete the scene was only the finest harmony composed by none other than mother nature herself; a light wind as quiet as a whisper flowed through the forest, evidenced by the eternal dance of the tall grasses and coniferous pines. A melodic soprano was delivered by various avian fauna, a sight unseen.

One would agree that it was quite a picturesque scene, indeed. Perhaps one that was too perfect. It's easy to view the world through rose-tinted glasses and erase the undesirable traits that taint the experience. Of course, reality is unforgiving and cannot be ignored; nothing can ever be perfect, not even this peaceful scene somewhere in Sweden.

When you hear of the word "Japanese car," what do you think of? Some will immediately think of the average indestructible family sedan; good on gas, won't penetrate or crush you in the event of a crash, boring. Others might conjure images of a sleek, stylish sports coupe with a turbocharged six-cylinder, a legend widely as feared as it is loved.

This isn't either of them.

A 1985 Seikatsu 10K FX Crew Cab Type Rally Raid Tidebreak Turbo shot down the empty road at a speed too high to state for legal reasons. It still wore its original blue California plates, despite being in the middle of nowhere in Sweden. As it approached a turn in the road, the entire body rocked and swayed like Noah's ark, jerking its nose downwards as it braked.

Stella clutched the handle above the door and screamed as Yoona steered the truck through the left turn. Her body was thrown to the right against the door as the truck leaned in the same direction.

"YUNNIE!" Stella involuntarily curled her toes in fear of the truck tipping over into the trees and getting impaled by a branch. "YUNNIE SLOW DOWN!" She tried to shout over the buffeting wind assaulting her ears, the incessant hum of the tires with the occasional chirp, and the kpop blasting through the speakers to no avail.

After what felt like an eternity, the road gradually led into another long, straight stretch through the forest. Stella was violently rocked back upright into the seat, and various loose items inside the truck were thrown around as Yoona suddenly straightened the steering wheel. She laughed almost maniacally. "This piece of shit can't corner at all! I love it!" she remarked, grinning widely.

"Yunnie, don't do that again. I feel like I'm going to fucking throw up."

Stella and Yoona quickly glanced behind them. Sitting in the somewhat cramped rear bench seat was Wilson, one of their friends who decided to tag along at the last moment. He sat limp against the seat, his head nearly sticking out of the window, and his mouth barely hanging open. He stared off into the distance, using all of his faculties to try to not projectile vomit all over the inside.

“Don’t be a little bitch, Wilson! I’ve done worse before, remember?” Yoona sneered. The next song started playing; “Bad Boy” by Red Velvet.

“But this is a truck! I feel like I’m inside a fucking washing machine every time you turn like that!” shouted Wilson.

“Hm, fine.” Yoona skipped the track. Wilson was too nauseated to complain about his favorite girl group being skipped and focused on not losing his lunch.

“Also,” Wilson continued, “you saw those other cars, right?”

“What about them?” Yoona inquired nonchalantly.

“Are we really going to stand a chance against them? I mean, these are proper performance vehicles we’re going against.” Wilson let out a prolonged sigh before continuing. “There’s a weird bugeyed muscle car. A hot hatch that looks like a taxi. A pristine Alteron in the flesh. Even sleeper shit like the Redfin, the Jidosha wagon, the Renwoo, and the 60s Korean Ssanvan thing are bound to eat our assholes whenever there’s a turn. And at least the 1990 small offroad SUV thing is… well, small. Don’t get me started on the Kurokama and the Kuma. And what do we have? A fucking TRUCK. 4x4? That shit’s only going to weigh us down on the track, and don’t get me started on all this useless redneck offroad shit.”

“Did I ask?” Yoona shot back coldly, not taking her piercing gaze off the road.

“Did you even listen to-”

“Oh it’s fine if you don’t agree with what I’m doing hun,” shrugged Yoona. “Just give me the word and I’ll stop this truck and you can fuck right off.”

" I came here to go on a road trip around Sweden! Not to drive around a racetrack for 24 fucking hours!"

“And I didn’t come here to listen to your bitchass whine! I told you that we were going to be doing this endurance race beforehand, and you agreed. Look, even Stella didn’t mind that! We’re going to continue the road trip after this. So shut the fuck up or get the fuck out.”

“Please stop,” Stella begged. The words barely slipped from her mouth, yet it was audible enough for Yoona and Wilson to hear.

“Look! You’re making Stella hella uncomfortable,” Yoona chastised, shooting Wilson a quick glance that was as cold as ice. “Stella’s right. I didn’t join this endurance race to win. If I wanted to win, right now you’d be riding in the back of a GR30 with barely enough room to scratch your dick. I joined this to have fun with my girl Stella. You’re welcome to join us, but I sure as hell won’t let you fuck up the mood. Besides, I’d like to see you try to fit all your Supreme hoodies or molar-looking dumbass Vapormaxes into anything else.”

Wilson paused for a moment, then let out a sigh. “Right.”

“Besides,” Yoona added with a smirk as she tapped her right temple, “you can’t lose if you can yeet other drivers off the track with the bullbar.”

“Fucks’ sake,” groaned Wilson.

Bonus shot.

A NEW MEMBER HAS ARRIVED

WILSON VALENTINE LIU

AGE	24
HEIGHT (cm)	178
WEIGHT (kg)	72kg
NATIONALITY	American
ETHNICITY	Chinese
OCCUPATION	Architect
HAIR/EYE COLOR	black/dark brown
FAVORITE ARTIST	Red Velvet
CAR	2016 Seikatsu Regalia 350G HT

HighOctaneLove · 13 June 2020 02:08

The Wild Ones vs Traffic-Mag 2020

Part One - The road to Hell is paved with good intentions...

Somewhere in London
3PM, Finance One Accounting Offices

John Smith sighed and rubbed his eyes, the Pedersen account was doing his head in. John couldn’t wait for the weekend, when his long service leave he’d applied for started, then he’d be winging his way to Sweden to pick up his dream car; A “mint condition” 1975 Bogliq Bazooka!

John had been a teenager when the Bazooka was launched and had fallen in love with the, then futuristic and exotic, liftback coupe. Up until recently he’d been unable to buy one; either too expensive or too rusty. So, about a month ago, when the pictures of a low kilometre (weirdly Bogliq USA used the metric system) Bazooka appeared in the Bazooka.com forums at the right price, John bought it ASAP. He then went and inspected the car and found that it’d been rather crudely “P-Platerised” by it’s owner. The damage wouldn’t be too hard to fix, but it annoyed John that he’d fallen for such a simple trick. While in Sweden, he’d seen an advertisement for a ckunker run, a race for crappy cars (mainly based on attrition), so decided he’d enter. He recorded the details then headed home…

What followed, when he returned to the UK, was a comedy of monty pythonesque proportions. When he got home and told the wife, John didn’t see her sister was visiting. When he arrived at work the next day, John found an email from his brother-in-law David. David wanted to come along and, since John couldn’t do 24 hours single-handedly, John emailed him back in the affirmative.

Then John’s co-worker Neil, who’d been John’s friend ever since they’d met, upon hearing the news while getting coffee decided he’d come along too. Since John was going to invite him anyway, this wasn’t an issue, but the coffee guy Michael begged to come along as well… John relented and let him come along; Michael would at least keep the team from having to drink bad coffee!

When they returned to their workstations, John found two emails had just arrived; one from his mechanic, Tiff and one from the HR guy, Roger. Tiff wanted to come along, help out with the car and do some driving. John emailed him with an affirmative response. Roger wanted to come along too; this didn’t please John at all since Roger was a bit of a bore and always drove weird little roadsters, some kind of Wentworth Womble? John read the letter further…

If you see fit to allow me to join your intrepid band of plucky adventurers on your expidition to the wilds of Sweden, then I will be able to re-imagine this trip as a group bonding and morale exercise, meaning the entire affair is on the house!

P.S. This means you won’t have to use your annual leave… I hope this helps you come to the right conclusion

Awesome! This was an offer that John couldn’t refuse! John then immediately invited Roger along.

The day before the race

Somewhere in Sweden

The flight had been uneventful. Everyone had met each other before the flight and were equally excited to be going racing. Tiff had caught an earlier flight to get the Bazooka ready for the race and everyone else had stuck together so that no-one would get lost. Despite boasting to the contrary, the entire party went meekly straight to the hotel where they turned in early; tomorrow was going to be a long and busy day…