TFW when your character apparently is so abnormally tall that they cannot be human anymore and people therefore use “it” for a pronoun lol
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Ye, my bad 
That was not intentional
2 Likes
Part 2: Inspection and prep work
Latvia, 15km outside Rīga, Near a sawmill
Edvīns, Paula and Jēkabs all are on their way to see their chosen car.
Edvīns talking on his phone E: “Hello, we are about 2 minutes away from the sawmill where the car is. Where should we park when we arrive?”
Voice from phone: “There will be a canopy, under which the car is parked. I will come outside to show it to you.”
Edvīns: “Ok see you soon.”
Voice: “Ok.” Hangs up
Paula calls from the rear seat. “Take the next right.”
Jēkabs quickly slows down and sharply turns right. “Good that we are not in a rally stage, otherwise we were in that ditch with such late call.”
Paula: “Sorry.”
Edvīns: sees the parked Schwarzburg “There it is, doesn’t look at all like the pictures. Park next to it!”
Jēkabs: “Ok, captain.”
They park the car, and at the same time around the corner comes a teenage boy in work overalls and with keys in his hand
Edvīns: extending his hand “So you are the owner of this Schwarzburg?”
Seller: Shakes hand “Yeah, time has come to sell it.” Continues to shake hands with Jēkabs and Paula
Edvīns: “So tell me about it a little, It doesn’t really look like in the ad.”
Seller: “Its a 1986 Schwarzburg Aviso 1.8, the last model with RWD, before they went FWD with Aviso II. And the picture in the ad, was from when it was just brought in from Germany”
Edvīns: “So that explains the number plate in picture.”
Jēkabs: “1.8 MPI or the carburetor one?”
Seller: “MPI, this is the one from later in the year when they fully switched to injection an cats.”
Paula: “Is it better?”
J: “Yes and no, the injected ones were more powerful than the carb ones, but the carb ones still had all iron engine and pretty simple build, so they were reliable and simple to work on.” Turns back to the seller after explaining to Paula the difference “Is it the top L version with 120hp?”
Seller: “No the B with 95hp”
Edvīns: “Are these your mods?”
Seller: “Yeah had to freshen it up, looked like a grandpa car, and it owner in Germany actually was a grandpa.”
E: “Does it run? Can we have a test drive?”
Seller: “Sure who is driving?”
J: “That would be me.”
Seller opens the car, hands the key to Jēkabs as all of them climb in the Schwarzburg.
Engine revs up and they drive around the dirt roads in the sawmill territory
Seller: “After I bought it had the brakes replaced and after this winter had to replace the clutch.”
J: After bit of heavy driving “Yeah but seems the rear suspension has seen better days.”
Seller: “Since I decided to sell it I didn’t want to invest in it anymore.”
After the test drive they park it back under the canopy
J: “Why is the oil pressure lamp flickering now at idle?”
Seller: “Don’t worry in the workshop they said it might be just some wiring”
J: “Well ok, but that knocks the price down then, together with the suspension” Turns to Edvīns and Paula who are sitting in the rear seat “What do you say, should we take it?”
E: “There is no real option for now and we don’t have much time left.”
J: Turns back to the seller “Ok, it’s your lucky day, we are taking it, but for a discount.”
Seller: “Well… ok” Shakes hand with Jēkabs
Paula: Takes out the agreed amount of money from her purse “Here you go.” She hands the money to the seller and they shake hands
Seller: “Take care of her.”
E: “We hopefully will.”
All say their goodbyes to the owner
J: “Ok you both take this crapbox and follow me. We are going to my friends dads shop.”
They arrive and see a fairly tall teenager showing them in which garage to park
Once they have parked, Jēkabs introduces all of them
J: “This is our mechanic for the race, Daniels.” turns to Daniels “And these are our driver and logistics specialist, maybe reserve driver”
They all greet each other
Daniels: “So lets see what we are working with.”
They lifted the car and cued the music A-team theme music starts playing
Before
After
What has been done
- Removed all seats except drivers and all the door and other panels.
- Removed fake carbon splitter and spoiler.
- Cut the exhaust and made it into a straight pipe.
- Added a skid plate.
- Added rally lights.
- Replaced tuner wheels with 15" rims and used tires that they found in the workshop.
- Tried to fix the flickering oil pressure light. (unsuccessfully)
- Added names and racing number.
- And most importantly put a “Trafikjournalen” sticker over the “Just racer” one
To be continued…
3 Likes
Team Prognosis Negative
Chapter III - Getting ready to race
Johan was pretty excited. Anna told her all about the car. Who cares right? They’re gonna be racing!!!
He was getting pumped listening to Ghost in his RS3 on the way up the mountains. He’s gonna kill it on the track!!
He was late tho, getting a speeding ticket on his way to the track. Typical, don’t they have anything better to do?
Anna and Anton were getting the car off the truck when he finally got there.
Number 8! This is gonna be one lucky car. After the trio (and Josef) got through the usual event red tape, they were in and ready to go.
Johan could not contain himself. They are finally here! Anna was chatting up other teams already, and Anton was going through the checklist with Josef.
All Johan had to do was getting ready to drive. He was gonna be first, then Julia and Anton. Hopefully he’d get the car across the finish line.
That punk car will have to be ready to face Johan’s wrath. Some UK posers for sure. Man, a ton of junk all around this event. Look at that Carver, who are they kidding?
“Hey we’ve got some motorsports history right here, we’ll blow you hood right up!”
Johan started strutting around, so sure of himself.
Anton - “So… you still haven’t told him?”
Anna - “Nah, didn’t have the heart to tell him we’ve got basically a crawler wagon.”
Anton - “Yeah, I figured, that’s also why I’ve put a TURBO sticker on the manual locker.”
Anna - “You’re so bad.”
Did she smile? Anton was not sure the ice queen did. He was smiling for sure - Johan’s gonna be in for a surprise! Not that he’s an asshole, but sometimes he’s a bit well…
Johan, far away - “Look at that piece of bubblegum…”
No, no, he really can be an asshole.
Josef - “You’re all good to go! Fueled up, I reinforced the rear axle a bit, but the check engine is still on tho.”
Anton tried to call on Johan. He has to come back eventually, if he’s not thrown out or get in a fistfight. He signaled Anna they were A-Ok, but she was busy looking at the worn out Ambrosia from Trafikjournalen.
Anton was focused and trying not to get distracted.
Let’s roll. Hopefully with Johan in the driver’s seat.
4 Likes
PART 1
NOON-4 PM
"Hello and welcome to the start of a very special 24 hours of clunkers race, because this year is actually the 40th anniversary of the race. We can see already at the start that some cars have problems with the traction, mainly team Shine Quartz with their Przenopewien, and team If it’s not punk, it’s junk with their Cambridge, though when it comes to those crazy brits you’ll never now if the spinning wheels at the start was erratic driving or an attempt to show off. Team SCS and their FM also does a less than brilliant start, albeit with a little less wheelspin. It seems like if Team Rogue traders have a kind of hard time wrestling their large pickup around the track, and we now encounter the first car with problems, the Saguaro belonging to team Mravolinski-Chitco that is slowly sputtering around the track, intermittently dying. It turns out that there is a dodgy soldering in the fuel pump relay, so they stay for quite a long time in the pits, resoldering the relay. While Team Oxracers in their Seongu barely manages to dodge the guardrail, Team Bubblegum in their Mons scrapes it but can keep driving afterwards.
I don’t know, but all of a sudden many participants seems to have trouble with a certain corner, since both Team Slow in their Schnell and Team Shine Quartz in their Przenopewien are doing some wild skids there and barely avoids the guardrail, but… OH, HOLY SHIT, LOOK AT TEAM SHIFT HAPPENS AND THEIR BRICKSLEY, seems like Rukari took that corner WAAAY too wide, drifting with the tail hard into the guardrail. Ouch, seems like the hit was so hard it made the rear door fly open, with a flapping rear door he is heading to the pits where it will take some serious panel beating to be able to close it again, so count with Team Shift happens being away for a while. And… OH, the Bricksley has just about left before the Saguaro belonging to team Mravolinski-Chitco kisses the guardrail in the same place, with Team Desert Scavengers having to swerve so hard that they spin around with their Union, however, both cars can keep driving afterwards. I don’t really know what the problem is here because now Team Oxracers have also planted their Seongu in the same guardrail, though without any major damage.
The crazy brits in their Cambridge, we’re still unsure if they drift as they do in the corners to show off or because they are too hot-blooded but the Cambridge spins around anyway, which causes them to lose some time. Even more time is lost for Team Slow in their Schnell after scraping the guardrail, however, the car seems to survive it just fine. We get a report from Team SCS that their FM is overheating, they are trying to find the cause in the pits but it remains a mystery and they get back on the track as soon as it has cooled down. The next team to enter the pits are Shine Quartz in their Przenopewien, since there has been a smell of burned oil inside the car. It turns out that someone had forgotten to screw on the oil filler cap tight enough, luckily it is still in the engine bay so when they have refitted it, the Przenopewien is ready to go again. Team Prognosis Negative touches some guardrail with their Régal, which means that the Saguaro and the Mons has to swerve to avoid it, but both drivers loses control, albeit without crashing into anything. Not as lucky is Team Oxracers in their Seongu, hitting the guardrail soon afterwards. However, no visit in the pits for either Oxracers or Prognosis Negative.
Once again the Cambridge is spinning around on the track, I don’t know if they mistook this for actual banger racing, but Team Slow in their Schnell and Team SCS in their FM has to swerve for the spinning Cambridge, though managing to remain in control. That does not help Team Slow, however, that soon afterwards is hit from behind by Team Postgraduate Psychosis Callahan. The Schnell keeps driving but the hood flies open on the Callahan, which means that it takes some good old panel beating in the pits before it can open and close somewhat like usual again. Having to swerve to not get into the mess, Team Bubblegum and Team Schrott racing manages to keep in control, it’s worse for Team Desert scavengers that is spinning around with their Union. A while later, it seems like Filip Andersson in our own team gets a little bit too confident in handling the nose-heavy Saarland that does a wide skid through a corner.
There is some nudging of the guardrail by the Przenopewien, meaning that Team Bubblegum slows down a bit with their pink yank-tank to not hit the Przenopewien from behind. Unfortunately, the Mons is instead hit by the Callahan from behind. The Mons stops, but after some cranking it’s good to go again, but the Callahan has to go to the pits for some duct taping of its trashed bumper. We don’t know if that somehow made the Mons driver nervous because the driving has now been less than stellar for a while.
Team SCS with their FM is getting a bit too confident, barely avoiding the guardrail, while a broken flexdisc on the propshaft has sent Team Spy Kids’ Rosewood to the pits where it stays for a while. Once again, it seems like handling Team Rogue Traders’ large pickup on this track ain’t the easiest task because it has done some less than ideal laps lately. The Saguaro is going to the pits for some strange behaviour while braking. It turns out that one of the front brake discs have cracked around the hub, and since they haven’t been able to source spare parts, team Mravolinski-Chitco decides that they are done with the race for this year now. The Schwarzburg belonging to team Schrott Racing is doing some very wide turns in the corners now, with gravel flying from the rear wheels. The thirsty Mons is already going in for its first refuelling.
Not very surprisingly, the next car…eh, truck, going to the pits for refuelling is the WRK pickup. The Union bites the guardrail which means that the Callahan has to swerve to avoid it, albeit is still kept under control.
It has been quite calm now for a while expect for some more show-off-drifting by the crazy brits and their Cambridge. Two more thirsty cars are going in to refuel, the Rosewood and the Union."
CURRENT STANDINGS
- Team Oxracers / #41 Seongu (@AndiD ) - Lap # 286
- Team Septic tank / #404 Sandhurst (@stm316 ) - Lap # 266
- Team Slow / #91 Schnell (@interior ) - Lap #259
- Team If it’s not punk it’s junk / #16 Cambridge (@Maverick74 ) - Lap # 259
- Team SCS / #69 FM (@Jaimz68 ) - Lap # 257
- Team Prognosis Negative / #8 Régal (@karhgath ) - Lap # 256
- Team Postgraduate Psychosis / #66 Callahan (@Texaslav ) - Lap # 256
- Team Trafikjournalen / #23 Saarland (@Knugcab ) - Lap # 251
- Team Schrott Racing / #13 Schwarzburg (@Rudzis ) - Lap # 250
- Team Spy Kids / #42 Rosewood (@SheikhMansour ) - Lap # 241
- Team Rogue Traders / #722 WRK (@Fayeding_Spray ) - Lap # 241
- Team Desert Scavengers / #47 Union (@TheYugo45GV ) - Lap # 240
- Team Bubblegum / #113 Mons (@cake_ape ) - Lap # 238
- Team Shine Quartz / #98 Przenopewien (@Vento ) - Lap # 237
- Team Shift Happens / #357 Bricksley (@Madrias /@Elizipeazie ) - Lap # 227
- Team Mravolinski-Chitco / #90 Saguario (@MrdjaNikolen ) - Lap # 123 (DNF)
(Note: When I have seen no sign of a claimed starting number I have randomly assigned one, and if someone got the wrong one I must have missed that, if that’s the case, I apologize)
7 Likes
Team Shift Happens
Previous Part - The Pits / Test Drive
Previous Part - Meeting the Hosts (Written by Elizipeazie, collab with Knugcab)
12:00 Local Time
Rukari sat behind the wheel, V8 already growling up front, resonating through the exhaust and burbling behind him. To his left, he saw the Magistrate of Team Desert Scavengers, the two police cars ready to go on a 24 hour hot pursuit.
The race started, and Rukari stomped on the gas pedal, the 400 cubic inch V8 waking with a savage roar as the car surged forward, threatening to give the pickup truck of Team Rogue Traders a bump. They darted out of the way, letting the Bricksley thunder its way forward into the pack. Once the car was clear of any danger, Rukari turned on the light bar and let the siren wail.
A few laps went by, with only the Saguaro having to go to the pits to fix their fuel pump.
Things were going “well” until Rukari tried to pass a car going into a corner, the back end breaking loose and drifting wide. The engine snarled as Rukari tried to drive out of the skid, only to slam into the guardrail with the passenger side of the trunk. The car was kicked sideways with the door flapping open, doing a full 360 degree revolution before Rukari caught it.
“To the pits, Rukari, that door needs to be fixed,” Malavera ordered.
As the Bricksley rolled into the pit lane, the engine was shut down (along with the lights and siren, for the moment) and the team got to work mending the damaged door. Which really meant that Malavera was “straightening” the door frame with the hammer, while Takaraya flattened out the sheet metal edge of the door. After the door was slammed shut, Kivenaal sparked up the oxy-acetylene torch and proceeded to weld the passenger side rear door shut.
“There. It’s fixed. Go drive it around to cool the welds off,” Kivenaal said, the crew getting out of the way in a hurry to let Rukari return to the track.
Rukari, as a result, floored it hard, the engine almost howling as he touched 6000 RPM before upshifting to Drive, the lights flashing and the siren screaming once again. The car surged onto the track in a flurry of wheelspin, joining just in time to witness the Cambridge spinning out, the Schnell and the FM having to swerve, and then the Schnell getting rear-ended by the Callahan. Team Bubblegum and Schrott Racing manage to avoid the chaos, while the Von Heislingburg behind the wheel of the Magistrate spun out in the process. There was almost contact as the brutal Grand Warden surged by the spinning Magistrate, with Rukari witnessing the Saarland making the corner - barely - in the rear view mirror.
Up ahead, the pink barge driven by Team Bubblegum piled on the brakes to avoid rear-ending another car, causing the Mons to swerve to avoid it, and the Callahan to drive into it. Rukari heard the engine fire back up on the Mons, and saw the Callahan dragging half of a bumper toward the pit lane.
Takaraya looked out over the track, watching the various cars as they raced, seeing Rukari was at least managing to keep out of trouble for now. However, the Franklin-Marshal of Team SCS dances on the razor’s edge of hitting the guardrail, while the Rosewood of Team Spy Kids arrives in the pits with driveshaft issues. The Rogue Traders manage to keep on moving, but seemed, at least to Takaraya, to be more of a mobile obstacle and less of a racing vehicle. Then the Saguaro arrived in the pit lane with brake issues, only to discover they had no brake rotors to replace them.
Kayden asked Nova, “Do you know if Bricksley brake rotors would fit on the Saguaro T-REE?”
“I do know. The rotors will not fit,” Nova replied.
Rukari watched as the Schwarzburg slid wide in the corners, kicking up gravel as it went. As the Mons disappeared up the pit lane for refuelling, Rukari checked the gauge, made one more lap, then joined it. (Note: I was informed that, yes, I do refuel here.)
It was Norse who grabbed the gas cans and started filling the tank. After the car was filled up, and Rukari left the lane to return to the track, Norse handed the cans off to Kivenaal to get them refueled.
Soon after, the WRK pickup joined the pit lane for a fuel stop.
Rukari watched as the Magistrate clipped the guardrail, forcing the Callahan to avoid it. The rest of the four hour stint behind the wheel was almost uneventful, other than the Cambridge drifting around, and the Rosewood, followed by the Union Magistrate, going in for a refueling stop.
“So, Rukari,” Kayden called over the radio, “you keep that car together for two more hours and we’ll swap drivers.”
“You take seat next?” Rukari asked.
“That’s the plan,” Kayden replied.
5 Likes
Team Mravolinski-Chitco
Race: We got new car
Like first post and unlike the rest, this will be posted in its full glory thats immidiate to see.
Quint has decided to get first stint of driving.
Start has happened and everyone was enthusiastic to go, in some cases indeed followed by wheelspin bcos of lot of power…not really applicable in our case but still.
Needless to say, Quint wasnt exactly complaining to this situation, so far no crashes.
Soon enough, one car on track had shown signs of struggle, which may be viewed as good opportunity for us to overtake someone…if it wasnt for fact car in question was our T-REE.
Drive was safe and slow, tad bit too slow as many others zoomed past us, so Quint steered into pits.
There, rest of team had entered the car and its engine to find out what was the problem.
Gearbox was ruled out, as that certainly wouldnt result in engine not working.
They had cranked the engine…nothing.
Looked if issue was not related to underside, meaning Aydar needed to use his strength to good use…again.
This happened to be done just right, so actual problem removed itself for a bit, making fuel getting to engine and engine starting!
Yay…what?
Soon after Aydar put car down…it stopped.
Lifted it up…one crank later by Quint (still in driver seat) engine works.
Process was done few more times, everyone was puzzled.
Omega suggested keeping track of fuel in carburetors in some way…which lead us to good track of identifying problem.
Fuel lines were alright and fuel pump itself was checked…nothing.
Mat had idea of looking at relays. Bingo, one of relays was in bad condition and needed resoldering.
This was quick, but obviously troubleshooting took some time.
Quint took front seat to some scenes on track, while others observed from pits.
This now did started to seem like previous editions of 24h Clunkers yours truly enjoyed reading
As for certain troubles in specific corner, Quint had recollected some stuff based both on his time behind wheel and live feed of hosts.
Quint already knew there was some decent amount of oil on track or atleast to him it seemed like oil.
At one point, he would have opportunity to go through what hosts had commented.
“Stupid Poles” he exclaimed after learning of their oil cap trouble, “some of their oil must have came onto the track!
That was likely cause of us losing control there”
But evidence would be too compromised to get to conclusion.
Ofc this is just a theory.
To get back on chronological order, we get back to point where mad lad Rukari had shown this potential spillage doesnt fit his driving.
That seemed hard, sounded hard and prob felt hard, indicated by fact one of doors had opened due to force.
What concerned Quint more tho, was fact he was approaching rear part of Bricksley…fast.
Loud bang had been felt and heard as he slammed into guardrail, carrying some of leftover Bricksley’s paint along.
This partially affected front right wheel assembly, which in hindsight contributed to our next unfortunate event.
We are yet to exit the trouble as Desert Scavengers had almost scavenged rear end of our wagon.
Now we are back to witnessing usual spinouts and occasional crashes without too much involvement.
Johan in Regal had overestimated handling prowess of his “piece of motorsport history”
At that moment, his skill had quite the Negative Prognosis, as poor kiddo was yet to be aware of actual status of his vehicle.
This meant another scary moment for Quint potentially involving much bigger vehicle, this time pink Mons.
@cake_ape’s entry clearly cut costs on painter and for small price of two beer cases deployed already drunk Marie from Hillbilly Rollers - At least that was remark of dogs that had opportunity to meet this individual.
This however went without contact
If its not punk its junk is clearly showing skill in lack of control over the vehicle, annoying some other drivers but also not crashing.
Quint is out of mess so far, managing to drive vehicle without too much issue.
Or so he thought…
At one point he realized that brake of front left seems to not really work: braking now made car noticeably turn left, as if somehow right side brakes less intensely than right
Grip is not problem as almost-100kg-Quint is on left side of the car.
He continued going, but at some point he was called into pits.
Diagnosis was clear upon removing the front right wheel.
Brake disc had cracked beyond repair and upon detailed search, they found no spare.
“Surely it should be possible to continue?”
“We can remove that disc, but you arent going to be able to brake on that side.
Adjusting may be possible but i dont think that would be advisable to do here”
Union bangs on guardrail to drive point home, bcos convenient timing rules.
“It would be too dangerous and it doesnt seem like our chances would be any better.
Besides…we may find some use of it as it is
Some cheap brake disc later and some more detailed checkup may result in perfectly driveable vehicle”
Mat: We came here to drive
Klimentol: Then by all means do so
Brake assembly on that side was disconnected and wheel put back
If you can handle that for 2 laps, then we shall continue.
Mat went behind the wheel and drove scariest two laps in his life.
White as sheet, he looked at pair. Omega was too scared to drive and wasnt willing to risk her boyfriend.
Mat agreed it was scary and even if, it would be too much to drive further in this state…completely by himself.
One girl cried at her home bcos her favourite team ended the race
But she found out there are two more furry-filled cute animals, so…sadness persisted for about two minutes.
Poor parents, seems that girl isnt going to sleep that easily and might let her be while they are going to bed.
Manager was like “Hah” and opened another beer.
Fart happened
Life is cool
As for us?
Team will be willing to help others and kinda root for others
Most of team cheered for Shift Happens
Mat just hoped that, on this anniversary, hosts are going to finish
He who is no more with us…would certainly approve of that.
4 Likes
Tesm SCS race part 1
Crackle - Spanners, how’s it going?
Spanners - Handling like an absolute dream…except for the start…seemed to bog down…WOW this things good!
Crackle - Bit of a problem, mate.
Spanners - Yeah, temps are going through the roof…probably the thermostat not opening…we’ll bin it when I come in…it’ll take a while to cool down though. Really wish I’d thought about some waterless coolant. Would only have cost about 80 quid!
Crackle - Yeeeeah…that’s not the problem.
Spanners - So what is? Can you hear something as I go past?
Crackle - No…Snap’s the problem!
Spanners - Why? He’s on the next shift.
Crackle - Not any more…
Spanners - You swapping around?
Mopey - HE GOT CAUGHT PISSING AGAINST A WALL AND SECURITY GRABBED H…
Crackle - He’s in a bit of bother…local plod have him in the back of their car.
Spanners - He’s getting released though?
Miopey - NOT TONIGHT HE ISN…
Crackle - Erm…Nope!
Spanners - BOLLOCKS…That means that…
Mopey - I GET TO DRIVE, I GET TO DRIVE!!!
Spanners - Yeah, you do…YOU get to drive the DEATHTRAP!
Mopey - Oh…
6 Likes
Team Shift Happens; the human side of things
Since this part is not immediately race-relevant, i have decided that i shall hide the segment in this-here dropdown. It is not critical for those in the pit lane to read, though i’m not stopping anyone ;P
Information contained herein may be referenced in future pit-lane segments.
The actual RP segment.
By the time the race started, Norse had already joined the other seven team members in the garage, the eighth being Rukari at the start line with the Bricksley.
Oddly enough, the start and first few laps weren’t as exciting to Norse and Valentin as one might expect.
As such, the race, to the humans, settled into a rather noisy borefest, leading to both Valentin and Norse to do different things.
“Since we’ve got nothing to do, i might as well head out back and get Robert out of his little hidey-hole somehow.”, Valentin said, before getting up from his laughably undersized lawn-chair, grunting.
“Oh! I wanna see that project for real!”, Norse eagerly said, already back up on his feet.
Takaraya also took note and looked over at the two humans.
“Let me help in getting it out.”, he quipped, following the others out the back and across the parking lot to the containers delivered this morning, both of which still open with one of them empty.
“Must’ve forgotten to close it up earlier…”,Valentin mumbled as he led the other two over to his university project vehicle.
Once again, the familiar sight of orange presented itself in the dark chasm of the container.
“How are you gonna get it out, then?”, Norse inquired, breaking Valentin’s though process on the same issue.
“Hold on a second…”, Valentin countered, as the parking lot went silent for a while.
“Right… you think you can pull 2.4 metric tons?” Valentin asked Takaraya.
“If I had my combat boots, I’d have more confidence in doing so. With my steel-toed work boots? I’m lacking grip, but willing to try.”, he replied, heading back to get the tow chains.
Meanwhile, Valentin and Norse (read: mostly Norse) went to work removing the tie-down straps from the car. By the time they were done, Takaraya returned, hooking up the tow-chain to the back, having to search for the hook for a bit.
“Now… the steering geometry is kind of… shit because of how heavy it is, so i’m gonna start it, enabling the power steering. Once i’m out of the container, you can pull.”, Valentin explained, as he opened the driver door just far enough to be able to reach in, releasing the parking brake, followed by him pressing the power-button on the dash-mounted computer.
In the back, two fans mounted in the space once occupied by the rear window start spooling, sending loads of airflow out the back, followed by what sounds like a gas stove being lit, transitioning to an aggressive, though muffled, blowtorch-like sound.
Valentin quickly makes his way out of the container, after which Takaraya tows the vehicle into the open parking lot, having visible difficulty in getting grip on the floor.
note: car shown as of April 2023, current appearance may differ
“Thank you, then.”, Valentin said once the car was out on the parking lot, as he closed the container back up this time around. Norse took the time to get the chain unhooked again, promptly followed by Takaraya coiling up the chain again. Not long after, he got curious, asking a number of questions on why Valentin made the choices he did.
Answering them was no issue, as steaming still took a few moments before the car would be mobile, though eventually they headed back to the garage, with Takaraya walking and Norse joining Valentin in the car, thus becoming the first passenger of Robert the second.
The drive was short, lasting all of fifteen seconds, but otherwise flawless as the car was parked up behind the Shift Happens garage near the entry door, where the car was then shut down again.
After that, the two humans went back in to join the others in watching the race unfold.
4 Likes
Team Prognosis Negative
Chapter IV - It’s time to kickass and chew that bubblegum car
Anton, on radio - "And we're off!"
Anna, on radio - “Go get 'em!”
For Johan, that was just static. The adrenaline was pouring in. So much that he stalled. Or so he thought, but the clutch was so smooth on that gearbox that he was able to hold it. Not his best start. Well, it was his first start ever if someone wants to be pedantic. At this point he did not care about this distinction - he was racing!!
He overtook that pink monstrosity on the first turn. Then number #23 soon after. #42. #722. Numbers became a blur. That bubblegum car again. And again about 18 laps later. It was easy to base progress on a rapid pink blur.
All he was hearing on the radio was static. Noise.
Anton, on radio - “Don’t push that rear suspension too much.”
Anna, on radio - “You got up another place, awesome!”
Mom - “Spaghetti’s ready!”
He snapped out of it. He looked at the pacing. Lap 80. He’s 9th.
Bubblegum again.
Johan, on radio - “This ride is so smooth! It handles like a charm. Steering is like butter, temps are good, gearbox is golden. Imma push it a bit more, tired or seeing pink in front”
Anton, on radio - “No need to push it, he’s a few laps behind you, he’ll let you pass…”
Johan, on radio - “Come on, I can do it! I’ll hit that turbo button!”
Anton, on radio - “No need, it’s not even coughing in the background no need to wear out the, err, turbo.”
Johan, on radio - “Still gonna push… yes, got through!!! Wohooooo! crash and grinding noise”
Anna, on radio - “Johan!?!? JOHAN!?!”
Johan, on radio - “I am good… sorry, took the turn wide and hit something. I am good. Should have seen the cars behind me, haha, losers.”
in the pits
Anton, looking at Anna - “How many ‘I am sorry’ baskets are we going to need after all this?”
Anna, oblivious to the joke - “I do not like gift baskets.”
back in the car
Johan slowed down a bit after that mishap, but this was a true race car breed. He was stalling a bit tho, he passed over pink a few more times, but he could not make much progress. Then all hell seemed to break loose.
That punk car had a few laps ahead, but had multiple incidents so he was able to pass him a few times, but not enough to get ahead - it was quite fast. #66 was well ahead in laps, but Johan passed it as it was getting in the pits. Then the official Trafikjournalen car was a pesky beast, staying just ahead - until he swerved off road and finally Johan got ahead.
Anton, on radio - “6th!!! You are goddamn sixth!!!”
Anna, on radio - “Be careful, just heard the Saguario is out of the race, don’t do anything stupid.”
Johan, on radio - “Yeah yeah, you know me.”
Anna, on radio - “That is exactly the issue here.”
Johan could hear Josef to the static ‘Yeah, he’s punk’. He’ll show them.
in the pits
Anna approached Team Mravolinski-Chitco stand. She dragged Josef with them, trying to find out if they could help at all, but unfortunately it was a lost cause. The team seemed devastated, she thought. A real bummer.
Josef got out a bottle of Vana Tallinn, an Estonian liquor and offered it to the team. He nodded and left with Anna.
Anna, muttering to herself - “So we’ll be out of baskets and liquor by the end of this…”
back in the car
It was pretty uneventful in the Régal (4x4, not that Johan would know), but it was chaos around him. He got a good rhythm going.
Anton, on radio - “We’re approaching the 4 hour mark, you all good? Want to switch up?”
Johan, on radio - “No, everything’s good, still a third of the tank left, got past bubblegum again, am I still 6th?”
Anna, on radio - “Yes! Started lap #256. Keep going like that, no more mistakes.”
Johan, on radio - “Damn, can’t get through to the FM, he’s always a step ahead of me. Oh shit… I can see the boyracer Callahan behind me, hell, I thought he was well behind with his pitstop… I’ll have to push it some more.”
Anna and Anton, in unison, over the radio - “No!!!”
to be continued
3 Likes
Team If It's Not Punk It's Junk
Race Day
After a couple of weeks preparing the car, most of which was spent doing up the theme, the band finds themselves at the track. Fern is suiting up for the first four hour stint, Ox is hastily taping up the mess of wires that make up the dashboard, and Alyssa is helping Iggy unsuccessfully make the Wyvern’s carburetor idle properly. He ushers Alyssa aside before slamming down the hood
“Bollocks to all 'hat! Bloody 'hing buggered up good like! Fern, you just 'ave to give it the wellies, aye?”
“Sounds good, old man. Ox, you about finished up in there? Race is about to start.”
Ox crawls out from under the dash, stretching to get the kinks out his back from the awkward angle
“Yep. Certainly ain’t perfect, but it might hold up.”
“At least it looks bloody brilliant,” Alyssa pipes up, beaming at their handywork
“Aye, ou lot have done a bang up job. Now et on ot there and put on a show!”
Fern clambers behind the wheel, getting the Cambridge started after a few reluctant cranks. She soon discovers that a slightly dodgey clutch and cankerous carb makes for a difficult start
“Bugger all!” she shouts, dumping the clutch and roasting up the rear tires leaving the pits. It doesn’t take long into the race to find out the suspension is utterly knackered. The car is loose as a goose, the rear of the car not always obeying what the front is asking it to do. But Fern, not one to back down from a challenge, pushes through the quirks, doing her best to keep it under control. And she does a decent job at it
Up until she doesn’t. Going into turn three, the left rear brake caliper seizes up, throwing the car into a 180 degree spin and stalling the engine.
“Bloody hell,” Fern exclaims, a bit rattled “That was bit of a kip!” The Cambridge protests about getting going again but eventually does so. Once again giving the old bird the beans, Fern rejoins the race a bit more showy than intended. About an hour goes by, Fern soldiering on bravely.
“Aight, I think I’m getting a feel for the old bird,” she thought to herself. It’s about this time that rear brake heard her thoughts and decided to lock up again. But this time the car stayed on the track and the view through the windshield is full of of incoming cars.
“OH BUGGER!” Fern yelps out as she clutches the steering wheel. After an orchestra of screeching tires and crunching metal, she opens her eyes to find herself still intact. A glance in the rear view mirror shows that some of the competitors didn’t have quite the same experience. Once back pointing the correct direction, she sputters past the Schnell with Team Postgaduate up their trumpet. “Sorry about that!” she yells out the window as she goes past.
The rest of her stint goes by mostly uneventful, with nothing more than one or two exuberant maneuvers to showcase the Wyvern’s schizophrenia. Fern pulls in for the first driver change of the day, finding their pits empty. She gets out of the car, finding Alyssa snoozing away in the back of their van.
“Oi!” Fern says, nudging her friend awake “What is all this then? We be in the middle of a race and ye be taking a nap? Where’s the old man? And Ox? It’s his turn to drive, you know?”
“Eh, it’s not been quite as exciting here in the pits,” Alyssa answers groggily “Certainly not as exciting a time as you been having, what with all the pirouettes you’ve been showboating. What’s that all about?”
“Err, that’s all the car. Thing belongs in a skip. It’s a bit…temperamental. But never mind that, where are the others?”
“Well, I don’t know as to where your pops buggered off to. But Ox went to the cantina for his afternoon tea. Reckon he’s still there.”
Sure enough, Fern finds Ox at a table near the concessions stand, sipping on a paper cup and quietly watching the race go on. Upon seeing his friend stride up to him, he puts the cup down and states, “Be that time, is it?”
“You’re bloody right it’s that time! Some pit crew you lot are, be like herding cats.” Fern rolls her eyes and sighs “Anyways, best I tell you, that alleged car of yours certainly seems to have a mind of it’s own. Be all over the track eight ways to Sunday. Think something in the suspension may have went of holiday. And the carburetor has the fits. Oh, yeah, almost forgot, the bloody rear brakes like to punt you off! But apart from the it be a peach.”
Ox contemplates this for a moment before shrugging. “Right. Guess I best be off then, yeah?”
3 Likes
Team Slow
Part 3-The Race. Time to shine.
Previous parts.
Team Slow, The return
Part 0, The Beginning to the hopeful finale of the event.
The 2022 Trafikjournalen 24h clunker challenge (NOON - 4PM) - #34 by interior
Part 1, It will make it to the races, maybe?
The 2022 Trafikjournalen 24h clunker challenge (NOON - 4PM) - #72 by interior
Part 2, To the races! (And Beyond)
The 2022 Trafikjournalen 24h clunker challenge (NOON - 4PM) - #104 by interior
As the driver for this section of the race, Izzy, shoves it into gear and starts racing, Trying to minimise as much use of the brakes as possible due to their sticky nature, Just moments on a corner, the rear end of the vehicle starts swinging out, she tried to control it but just about barely hits the guardrail.
“That was close”, as she straightens the vehicle and gets the car more onto the road than the edge.
As Matt watches from the pits, he radios Izzy and asks "Did the car get destroyed yet, and she responds with "No, but, that Bricksley though had slammed hard into the guardrail.
After some time, Izzy rushes to pick up the CB radio to say “The team with the- Shit! I got fucking rear ended!” She ends up dropping the CB radio mic piece and then downshifts and picks up some speed, The damages aren’t stopping the car from becoming a doorstop. Although an expensive one at that.
After picking up speed, she continues racing although trying to keep the car straight, although an minimal offset. Izzy then picks up the cb radio piece and says “We’re in third! Lets go” and then Matt replies with “Not first place, but it’s still top 3. Keep it going! Maybe we’d survive the whole race, Although that Przeno-something really likes that guardrail.”
Izzy starts to concentrate even more on the road, but the ECU issues are starting to arise during the race, such as misfiring and power loss, but it’s not stopping her from continuing the race with the car during this run. Matt then radios again, “Those brakes, get into the pits. NOW!” he says with an concerned tone than usual. Izzy then drives into the pits, and asks teams for some brake calipers.
Matt: I’ll seal up the power steering leak and you go ask for some calipers, WD40 even?, alright?
Izzy: Got it. That Saguario didn’t last long. That team had potential too.
Matt: This time i’m driving after those brakes are replaced and you do mechanicals on the next stage. You did good, could be better.
(OOC: Anyone have a spare set of brake calipers?)
3 Likes
Bubblegum interview: 0-4 hours
Our man Jorgen was in charge of piloting the Bubblegum for the first sting of the 24 hour race. We asked the rookie driver about his experience.
Mons Public Relations: So Jorgen, what can you tell us about the race so far?
Jorgen: Oh, what an experience, I can not thank Mons Racing enough for this experience, they have been great! It’s truly a privilege to be allowed to take the helm of this great vehi…
MPR: Jorgen, thank you for the flattery and PR speak, but you can relax. We’re genuinely curious about your experience…
J: Oh, right, sorry. Well, the race started out just fine. The car got off the line great and no there was no drama at all! I just drove around in circles until I got a little dizzy… but pushed on even as other cars started lapping me. I mean, it’s a beast of a car, this Bubblegum, but it’s no race car you know.
MPR: We understand. Did you have any interesting moments though? We saw you kissed the guardrail early on…
J: Yeah, I was just settling into a rhythm and checking my mirror a lot because… well… to be frank, I had to worry more about traffic behind me trying to overtake than traffic in front. In any case, all of a sudden there was this slow moving car - I don’t even remember which one, it went so fast - and I had to swerve! I’m just glad the damage was limited to some paint loss.
MPR: Yeah, it’s such a shame about that nice paint job! But some battle scars are par for the course. Then we saw another little incident?
J: yeah, about halfway through the stint. It was another one of those where I didn’t expect traffic in front. I had learned from my previous mistake though and managed to avoid hitting the car or the guardrail. I can’t say the same for a later incident though! I was finally in a really good rhytm with the track and the car, when there was another slow moving car ahead - this time the Przenopewien I think. I manage to slam on the breaks to avoid a crash. But then the Callahan hits me! Totally stalled the engine. This left me a little shaken and stranded momentarily, but luckily I got the car going again. But I’ll make sure to have a word with the Postgraduate Psychosis team after the race!
MPR: But you and the car were fine…?
J: As far as I can tell, yes. But who knows, such a jolt can easily damage the transmission for example. I know the Mons mechanics keep an eye on things.
MPR: We’re sure they are indeed! Well, thank you for the interview. Now go and have a well deserved rest!
MPR: Ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. Jorgen was the driver for the first stint. He’s done a fabulous job keeping the car alive and in the running. Currently 13th, but still with a clear shot at a top 10, this is shaping up to be an exciting race! After the first pitstop for fuel our second driver, Vanessa took the wheel and is now lapping valiantly around in the Bubblegum. We will catch up with her after her stint is done - stay tuned!
4 Likes
Team Oxracers, Ep. 10: A rolling start
Mary, Jane, Lucas and a sulking Corazon are standing behind the guardrail next to the starting line, eagerly awaiting the start signal. Beforehand, they had a bit of a row on who would drive the start stint. For Corazon the sole correct answer was obviously Corazon whereas the others were clearly in favour of Michael due to his greater real life racing experience.
Mary had a look over the ‘colourful’ starting field - her initial reconaissance mission among the other teams in cat form had yielded nothing out of the ordinary, besides the insight that the individual and the team personalities were as colourful as the cars were on the outside.
Strike noon, the organisers gave the signal to start the race… and immediately chaos ensued due to the essentially randomised starting order, the varying levels of traction, and that presumably noone had actually practised a start.
The Kando was among the smallest cars in the field, and so Michael behind the wheel sometimes felt a bit like a go-kart among lorries. Luckily, it was also one of the lightest and narrowest cars on the grid, and so he could dodge and weave better than most other competitors through the winding track.
Track surface conditions were consistently changing - Michael suspected a mix of the dirt parts of the track being literally ploughed over by some of the sometimes haplessly drifting heavier competitors, and a changing percentage of oil being part of the track surface due to leaks. Even his level 2 racecraft skill could not prevent the Kando from ending up in the guardrail once, following suit to the Bricksley and the Saguaro at the same place, luckily not with too much damage.
After a fair while, things calmed down a bit and he had gained sufficient confidence in the Kando to increase pace and to correctly distinguish gaps that actually existed from gaps that might only be there in his wildest imagination. “This is a 24h race, not a 24min race”, he reminded himself. He touched the radio button, one of the few buttons left (and rewired) on the otherwise throughly disemboweled Kando dash and interior.
Mary answered. “Leading according to the official timing, by over a lap already! You surely must have noticed that you keep overtaking the same cars over and over.”
“Really?” Michael was thoroughly astonished, but then reminded himself, that it was common practice in arcade simulations to start last and consistently overtake one car after another as part of the game design. “This is not Forza, right”, he mumbled. “But it feels a bit like it, at the moment.”
A split second reaction to a crash between the Régal and a guardrail ahead of him catapulted him back to reality (whatever that was…), and he could only make contact with the guardrail himself after he had seen things too late after the Mons and the Saguaro ahead of him had swerved successfully. “Now this is more like Forza - but multiplayer”, he grumbled before getting the Kando into gear again.
3 Likes
TEAM TRAFIKJOURNALEN
NOON-4PM
After socializing a little with Mat from Team Mravolinski-Chitco and Anna from Team Prognosis Negative, it was more or less time to start, and the team decided that Filip Andersson was going to take the wheel, since he had the most experience in the actual car.
The start was done a bit cowardly, since he knew that it was very easy to give all or nothing, with the torquey and very heavy cast iron lump up front. The same, however, could not be said about Team “If it’s not punk, it’s junk”, which covered the Saarland in tire residues at the start.
"Oh, it was already beige and red, now it is black too!", Hansen said to Carlén in the pits.
"Goddamned lunatics", Carlén answered.
Meanwhile in the Saarland, Andersson started to regret that he had laughed at the korean fridge, that appearantly was deadly fast, he could not keep up with it how much he even tried.
Carlén and Hansen in the pits was watching the mess at the track and shook their heads at the driving some of the teams did. The first car arrived in the pits, the Saguaro, which didn’t surprise them since it looked like it had been standing still for years. They prepared for Andersson playing pinball with the other cars on the track like last year, but it appears like he could keep the big Saarland wagon pretty well under control, unlike another team with a boat, team Shift Happens, that was the next one to roll into the pits. It seemed like everyone had problem at that corner. They watched some serious panel beating and welding happen over at Shift Happens, remembering their somewhat “unconventional” repairs from last year.
"One thing is for sure, those furries never give up", Hansen said.
The second time the Callahan came in they shook their heads again. It appeared like it actually WAS worse drivers in the world than Filip Andersson, even though he made a kind of wide drift with the Saarland earlier.
"Look, Team Mravolinski-Chitco is already loading the Saguaro on their trailer, Carlén said.
"Not too unlikely that we have our first DNF there", Hansen answered. "Well, sad to see since they seemed a bit enthusiastic over the race. At least it was not the Saarland."
"Strangely enough it was not the Saarland", Carlén answered.
"True", Hansen said before he was interrupted by Izzy from Team Slow shouting something about brake calipers.
"Are you going to start changing brake calipers in the middle of a race? Are you nuts?", he asked her and sighed. He took a bottle of WD40 and went to Team Slow in the pits, spraying it behind the seals, and telling Matt to motion the brakes a bit while he was yanking between the brake discs and pads.
"Now I would be surprised if they won’t last for the rest of the race. What happens then is of less concern now, right?", he mumbled and got back to their own place in the pits again.
"Rumours says that she is a Schnell technichan, but I honestly start to doubt it", Hansen said to Carlén.
TO BE CONTINUED…
3 Likes
Gonna do that reply write up soon. I guess changing callipers is not a viable option. Oh well wd40 does better, and i’ve forgotten about wd40/brake cleaners
Team Slow
Part 3.2
Previous parts.
Team Slow, The return
Part 0, The Beginning to the hopeful finale of the event.
The 2022 Trafikjournalen 24h clunker challenge (NOON - 4PM) - #34 by interior
Part 1, It will make it to the races, maybe?
The 2022 Trafikjournalen 24h clunker challenge (NOON - 4PM) - #72 by interior
Part 2, To the races! (And Beyond)
The 2022 Trafikjournalen 24h clunker challenge (NOON - 4PM) - #104 by interior
After what can only be considered as Matt being disappointed in his girlfriend for asking such a ridiculous question about getting replacement brake calipers. Matt does what Hansen told him to which is motioning the brakes, Izzy then looks and says “Oh, that’s how it’s done on the cheap. I guess that works.” After the repairs have been done, Matt takes over the driving for the second half.
Izzy answers Hansen with “Forgot WD40 was an option too. Sorry about that misunderstanding, though the lubricant does better”
Izzy then puts on the wheels, removes jackstands and car jack, puts the car down and pulls away the jack and Matt starts driving.
As he’s worked on vehicles for most of his life, unlike Izzy, he’s considering to put himself as the mechanic of the next round. Or as a 50/50 effort. Matt says as he’s driving “Weird to how she’s worked at the engineering team yet asked for new calipers”
Matt continues driving on the track.
(this one’s super short mainly because of the segment itself)
2 Likes
Darn, guess I need to do pre-race and race together.
Team Postgraduate Psychosis Chapter 0.3
The day has come. Julia, who has gotten familiar with the Callahan in the past several days and was mostly trusted not to crash it en route, pulls up to the venue in the now-single-seater clunker. Ulf and Gunther roll up in the former’s Mercedes. With them are their pit assistants: Anders, Ulf’s uncle, Victor, one of Gunther’s drinking buddies, and a box of tools and spares minor. The group stops in the parking lot outside, where the Mercedes is unceremoniously ditched.
Julia: We’re here. I’ve been to this track once or twice, so I know how to get to the pits; honestly, you should all just jog behind me or something.
Victor: And be deaf by the time we get here? Christ. Was hacking off most of the exhaust parts really necessary, Gunny? That trumpet symphony’s all we’re going to be listening for the next twenty-four!
Anders: If it lives that long. I heard what Gunther and Julia did to that engine, and where they got it from; I’m not convinced it’ll hold.
Julia: I’m right here, you know. Either way, we should set up in our pit as soon as we can… Who’s on snack duty?
Ulf: I got you covered. Holds up a massive camping backpack full of energy drinks and two-hour-cold barbecue
Victor: Jeez, I can’t get a read on that guy. Gunny, surely you’re aware that your friend has some screws loose?
Gunther: I don’t know what you’re talking about. And don’t call me Shirley.
The team heads into the pits to set up.
The drinking duo, not eager to work their asses off quite yet, take a leisurely stroll to size up the competition.
Anders: I’m still not sure what the two of you see in that ‘Gunther’ type. Seems like a prick to me.
Ulf: As far as I am aware, he does that on purpose. It is a sort of defense mechanism: If you are the type of person to dismiss him, then he does not have to deal with you. Personally, I find that he makes up for his antics by being good at what he does.
Julia: He especially doesn’t like people who talk behind his back - and I, for one, am with him. So if you want to win this thing, try to forget you ever had that thought.
Anders: tch. I’ll consider myself outvoted then. Either way, we’ve got the provided toolkit, our own set of stuff, and I’ve put the impacts where you can see them.
Gunther and Victor return, looking contemplative but not disheartened
Julia: So, what’s the scoop?
Gunther: Well, there’s roughly three categories in this race. There’s a couple small shitboxes, which was to be expected. They’ll be nimble and I don’t know if we can catch them easily, but I’d wager we can intimidate them when in close proximity.
Victor: Then there’s the medium cars. They’re not too far off from ours, but they’re all a lot older. Honestly, I’m not sure how our Carver got ruined quickly enough to be a ‘clunker’ at its age.
Johan from Prognosis Negative: Hey, we’ve got some motorsports history here, we’ll blow your hood right up!
Gunther: Oh yeah, why don’t you just blow me instead! /ahem/ And those guys fit the bill as well. They’re in our weight class, so we’ll have to beat’em up clean.
More importantly, this race is packed full of old cars. Stay the hell away from them. Some of them are framed, so they’re about as movable as a concrete pillar with rebar. They’ll be slower and thisrtier, but if you get into a slugfest you will lose.
Chapter 1.1: The first sixth
It’s high noon. The sun might not be withering, but the prospect of running a race for 24 hours is. A cooler full of Ulf’s energy drinks is all that lies between Team PP and total wastage.
Anders: Well, you got me. That Gunther takes a mean corner. Not to seem like the old geezer in this conversation… (Victor: Well, you are!) …But he seems to be managing a lot of near misses. Not really sure if it’s gonna keep working like that forever.
Sure enough, at some point in the second hour, a three-car conflagration involving a /certain/ group of mad Brits makes the Callahan’s hood go right up and refuse to close.
Gunther: Shit!! Well, it’s not like I could see past that scoop anyways!
Gunther unstraps himself and finishes the lap, driving into the pits practically leaning out the window - and falls out of the car when the door is opened.
Ulf: Are you hurt?
Gunther: Fine. Sledgehammer. Now!!
Gunther grabs the sledgehammer from Victor and, after lining up, smashes the hood with resolve and a rebel yell. He overdoes it, of course, and is reduced to judicious tapping and slamming. Julia gets ready for a stint; Anders refills the tank.
Gunther: Well, that about does it! Start her back up.
The Carver starts up from half-crank, still rearing to go.
Gunther: Now remember, you have to stay vigilant! I can’t put a ring on a corpse. Seriously though, good luck.
As Julia powers out of the pits, the team looks on.
Ulf: You know, I am astonished that the scoop is still on. I would have thought it would have been the first to go.
Anders: Heh, I guess that even in our country, the term “redneck engineering” had to apply to somebody. You’re a strange man, Gunther.
Gunther: Hmph. Yes, I am. Now give me that headset, I gotta keep an ear out for my girl.
Ulf: I told you, Uncle Andi. He sees you as overbearing. I suggest you withdraw.
Julia started her stint in the opening minutes of Hour 3. Now, in the waning ones of Hour 4, she meets the exact thing they had resolved to avoid: the rear end of a huge, bubblegum-pink Mons sedan. The Callahan has a split bumper that’s scraping on a tire, and Julia drives it into the pits.
Gunther: Jesus, that just about gave me a heart attack. Are you alright?
Julia: Don’t worry, just a little bump. Did you see what I did to that Mons thing? It stalled and is still trying to start back up!
Gunther: No, for real, you okay? Does anything hurt?
Julia: Calm down, Gunny, I’m fine. In fact, I’m staying in. Now patch this thing up and get me out there!
Gunther: A-alright.
The Carver is refueled and taped up; Victor checks out the left rear tire, the one affected by the scraping, and says that it doesn’t look any worse than it did in the morning. Julia eventually departs to raise some more hell.
Gunther: Well, shit. We’re dozens of minutes behind that runt of a Seongu. This race hasn’t been kind to us.
The team’s frat king munches somewhat dejectedly on a cold pork rib; the amount of rear-ending they’d inadvertently dished out was frustrating his hopes for a good early lead.
Anders: Well, we can look at it a different way. For all the bullshit that’s happened so far - and I do agree it’s bullshit - we’re still in the first half, and liable to gain. Your rust bucket is a remarkably solid one.
Victor: Yo dude, look! Julia’s right on the tail of that tryhard with the Regal! And from what I can see, the head punk’s actually driving it!
a smirk creeps onto Gunther’s face once again. He grabs the headset and puts it on.
Gunther: Hey, sugar…
Julia - on radio: What is it, Gunny-bunny?
Gunther: Tch. That guy in front of you… He’s got an attitude problem. Kick his ass for me, will ya?
Julia: Oh, bring it on!!
To be continued
4 Likes
Team Oxracers, Ep. 11: On a roll…
On the two hour mark, the Kando had made a quick visit to the pits to switch out Michael for Corazon for him to take his first stint. Since everything else was fine with the Kando, they switched in and out of the car in no time, that even the organisers might not have noticed. The only thing Corazon does quickly before he gets going again is lower the driver side window a bit further.
Corazon rejoins right behind the Bricksley which has a much higher speed on the short curved start/finish straight. In the next two corners Corazon is right on the Bricksley’s bumper but cannot pass due to the Bricksley occupying much of the ideal line (and beyond) of these corners, and it even thunders a few metres away from the Kando on the next short straight.
However, Corazon positions himself on the insight line and brakes much later than the heavy Bricksley, having now the better position through the next left hander.
“YOU WANNA CHALLENGE THE GOD OF DRIVING?”, he yells out of the window towards the Bricksley as he takes the left/right combination ahead of them. @Madrias
**
Meanwhile, in the pits, Jane and Lucas discuss some finer points of suspension tuning as they hear loud noises of metal-on-metal from one of the nearby improvised pit areas.
Lucas looks a bit worried. “Shall we go have a look?”
“Nah.” Jane shrugs. “I suspect Mary will be back shortly and tell us anyway.”
“Where is she… oh.” Lucas still has not gotten used to Mary’s newfound (or old?) and unsual powers.
Indeed, a short while after, Mary emerges from behind Jane’s strategically parked large Saarland Siegel Pilger and tells the other two of the Postgraduate Psychosis team’s use of a sledgehammer to fix the Callahan’s hood.
“Percussive maintenance.” Jane beams. “Sounds like my kinda guy…”
**
Corazon meanwhile has gotten used to dodging and weaving through the rest of the field, either to pass slower cars or to avoid the odd mishap… such as the Saarland skidding wide through a corner, leaving the inside line to Corazon.
“NOW THERE WAS SOME VROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT, RIGHT?” he yells at Filip Andersson, as he leaves the recovering Saarland behind. @Knugcab
Since he had looked away from the track, only through lightning quick reactions does Corazon manage not to skid too wide through the next corner himself.
**
A while later a loud commotion from one of one of the other pits awakens the napping Michael. “Anything happening?” he asks the others who can only shrug since this time it seems to originate from further away and they cannot see anything.
Suddenly, Mary appears on the opposite side. “Team Mravolinski-Chitco is out of the race, unfortunately. Terminal brake damage as far as I could make out.”
“Already? That’s sad”, Michael comments.
“Hope they stay until the afterparty”, Lucas adds.
“Hope they stay sober enough until the afterparty…”, Jane corrects. “I certainly wouldn’t…”
**
Corazon meanwhile is stuck behind the FM StreetSport. He could go a bit faster, but his usual overtaking tactics do not seem to work against a car that’s almost as nimble as the Kando through the corners, and the track isn’t particularly conducive to getting better traction out of corners. (Besides, noone has told Corazon the benefits of slow-in, fast-out yet.)
After a couple of corners without much success getting past the FM, he decides to brake a tad later than usual in order to shove the FM out of the way. “IT’S NUDGE OR BE NUDGED!” Corazon shouts out of the still opened driver window. @Jaimz68
He neglects to mention that the FM is probably the only car in the field that wouldn’t outright win a nudging contest with the Kando…
**
From the corner of her eye, Jane notices something large and pink roll into the pit area. This time, Jane checks out the Bubblegum box herself since Mary and Lucas seem to be in an animated discussion.
“No, they don’t have a fuel leak or something, they seem to genuinely need that much fuel”, she reports back as she returns, smiling smugly. @cake_ape “How much have we left, by the way?”
Using her walkie-talkie, Mary relays the question to Corazon in the car and the answer back to Jane. “Two thirds to three quarters of a tank. He says he cannot see things clearly.”
“It’s one of the old analogue horizontal fuel gauges”, Jane explains. “With the track being mainly left turns, and the Kando taking turns at speed, the gauge should… underestimate the amount of fuel… I think. But I guess we pit when the fuel lamp lights up.”
“If it works”, mutters Lucas. “Have we ever checked it?”
“Good point”, noted Jane. “Mary, can you give us a reminder on the next driver swap that we check whether it makes sense to refuel early?”
Mary nods. “Managing such a lead is kinda different as I expected it”, she comments. “And it certainly isn’t less pressure, perhaps even the other way round. If we were in the midfield, it’d be just something for fun. Now it would look odd if we wouldn’t win…”
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PART 2
4 PM-8 PM
Four hours into the race, we wonder if someone is getting a bit tired behind the wheel of the Union because the driving looks a bit erratic every now and then. The Rosewood goes into the pits for a flat tyre, however, it seems like the lug nuts are torqued way too hard, meaning that the team has to struggle and use fair amounts of violence to remove the wheel. Corazon in the Seongu seems to have a little trouble to keep the car in a straight line on the straights at the moment. Team “If it’s not punk it’s junk” keeps drifting through the corners, but oh, shit… Being hit by the Schwarzburg of Team Schrott racing, we wonder if they have learned something now. Both cars more or less comes to a stand still, but no visits in the pits seems to be necessary.
While the Callahan and the Saarland goes in for fuel stops, the Przenopewien goes in to have its squealing fan belt replaced since there is no more margins on the tensioner. The next car to go in for a fuel stop is the FM. We have said this before, but it seems like the WRK was a less wise choice of car for this, since it really seems to have some struggle at the track.
The Union goes into the guardrail, bouncing back on track causing the Saarland to swerve. More or less at the same time, the Przenopewien, Sandhurst and Mons needs refueling. It seems like Team Bubblegum’s driver is a bit too hurried getting back on the track, though, entering with spinning tyres. Also too confident maybe? The driver of the Régal, regarding that car’s braking capacity, meaning that it hits the Seongu from behind, meaning that the rear window now is in a million pieces in the luggage compartment. Since the aerodynamics of the hatchback makes that a perfect entry for gravel, dust and exhaust fumes, Team Oxracers choose to go to the pits to duct tape a sheet of clear plastic as a temporary rear window.
The Union is freewheeling into the pits after a relatively hard landing for some reason. It appears like the transmission jumped into neutral and that it is impossible to get it back into gear again. The result is that Team Desert Scavengers has to use lots of time to try to fix the shifter linkage. Maybe Rukari didn’t really expect the freewheeling Union, braking a bit too hard with the Bricksley and causing the wheels to lock up. This also means that the Seongu has to brake hard, though it stays in control. Filip Andersson, on the other hand does not have the same reactions. To avoid making a pileup he chooses to sacrifice the beautiful red Saarland bumper into the guardrail instead. The oil pressure light have been flickering in the Przenopewien for a while, and Team Shine Quartz decides to take their chances to see if a change of oil and filter will cure the problems. Team Prognosis Negative is taking the turns a bit wide with their Régal, maybe the driver of Team Septic Tank’s Sandhurst loses patience a bit, hitting the rear quarter of the Régal, making it spin around, largely unhurt though while the Sandhurst has to go into the pits for some good ol’ panel beating. Maybe lack of patience has also plagued Team “If it’s not punk it’s junk”. They hit the Rosewood from behind, which slows down the Cambridge a lot more than it slows down the Rosewood.
The next car to hit Team Spy kids puke green…ehm…thing, is the Bricksley. This time, both cars needs a visit to the pits, the Bricksley mostly to rip off the last remaining sherds of the plastic bumper, but the Rosewood needs some serious panel beating. Though, in an attempt to leave the pits like a champ, the Rosewood goes out with a loud bang. With the innards of the rear axle trying to play peek-a-boo, Team Spy Kids is out of the race with a hole in the diff casing as a proof of having been here in 2022. Team Bubblegum seems to have a hard time letting the thoughts of demolition derby just pass, since the Mons crashes into the Union. Maybe the FM or Seongu would have been better opponents instead of another rock solid BOF yank-tank, since the crash have twisted the rusted out frame of the Mons like a cork screw, meaning that Team Bubblegum is the next team to give up this race. But what’s this? Oh, no… The Union is actually REVERSING into the pits, since it seems like the crash have affected the earlier shift linkage repair so no other gear than reverse works at the moment. So, for the second time, lots of time goes into repairing the shift linkage of the Union. That freakshow makes it go more or less unnoticed that the Régal is going in to fill up its tank. And…oh, shit, the Cambridge is suddenly very low in the rear…on just one side. It seems like Team “If it’s not punk it’s junk” will have a job to do now with replacing a broken coil spring in the rear.
The Seongu might be fast, but it seems to be kind of a struggle to keep it on the track sometimes, judging by the spinout it just did. The Bricksley is once again going in for a refuelling. It is worse for the Przenopewien where the alternator now is junk, luckily enough the team had a spare one with them that gets replaced in the pits. The FM understeers into the guardrail with a heavy bang and has to go into the pits for some equally heavy panel beating. The WRK is the next car to go for a refuelling.
The Schnell does a spinout, and the sputtering afterwards might be a sign that the tank is getting empty, so it goes into the pits for a refill. The Przenopewien hits the Union from behind and a sudden smell of gas makes Team Desert Scavengers suspicious. Seems like they are right, the hose between the filler neck and fuel tank has popped loose from the crash and disappeared somewhere, meaning that they need to do their best to replace it. And once again, the somewhat…eh…wild driving caused by a certain team that maybe should have renamed themselves “Anarchy from the UK” is causing troubles. The FM hits the drifting Cambridge, meaning that Team SCS once again has to do some panel beating in the pits. Meanwhile, the Schwarzburg is going in for refuelling.
The Callahan and the Przenopewien is close to get into a tangle, but somehow manages to avoid it, spinning around farther away from each other rather than crashing, it sure costs both teams some time, though. The FM once again goes into the pits, it seems like the earlier crash damaged the battery, which is changed out for a new one. There is also some nudging of the guardrail by the Sandhurst.
CURRENT STANDINGS
- Team Oxracers / #41 Seongu (@AndiD ) - Lap # 553
- Team Postgraduate Psychosis / #66 Callahan (@Texaslav ) - Lap # 529
- Team Slow / #91 Schnell (@interior ) - Lap # 516
- Team Septic Tank / #404 Sandhurst (@stm316 ) - Lap # 503
- Team Prognosis Negative / #8 Régal (@karhgath ) - Lap # 501
- Team Schrott Racing / # 13 Schwarzburg (@Rudzis ) - Lap # 497
- Team Trafikjournalen / #23 Saarland (@Knugcab ) - Lap # 494
- Team If it’s not punk it’s junk / #16 Cambridge (@Maverick74 ) - Lap # 493
- Team Rogue Traders / #722 WRK (@Fayeding_Spray ) - Lap # 486
- Team Shift Happens / #357 Bricksley (@Madrias / @Elizipeazie ) - Lap # 479
- Team SCS / #69 FM (@Jaimz68 ) - Lap # 462
- Team Shine Quartz / #98 Przenopewien (@Vento ) - Lap #426
- Team Desert Scavengers / #47 Union (@TheYugo45GV ) - Lap # 425
- Team Bubblegum / #113 Mons (@cake_ape ) - Lap # 386 (DNF)
- Team Spy Kids / #42 Rosewood (@SheikhMansour ) - Lap # 365 (DNF)
- Team Mravolinski-Chitco / #90 Saguaro (@MrdjaNikolen ) - Lap # 123 (DNF)
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